Part 3

The plink was very ticklish and he couldn't hold it in. He tried to cover up his laugh with his giant plinkish fin.

But his mouth was open long enough for the gnarble to swim free, He swam so fast the hungry plink did not have time to see.

Far above the ocean floor, above the gnarbles' homes,

Above the blyfish families and dancing water-gnomes,

Above the swimming gungaloo and slimy dundledun,

A gnarble flipped above the waves and smiled at the sun.

XXII

ODE TO BURPING

My name is Tyler, King of burping, Champion of stomach chirping. No one else can belch like me-- A mouth explosion symphony.

When I start a burping session, It sounds just like a bear impression. Sometimes I can shake the room With my burping bellow boom.

I'm famous for my great technique, But, mind you, it's not for the meek. Some tips when burping for a crowd, To help your belch be extra loud:

Arch your back for full projection. Cover up for their protection. Throw some soda down the hatch For burping volume none can match.

But most important, don't forget The golden rule of etiquette. In terms of manners, I'm not choosy But always, always say "Excuse me."

XXIII

PHILIP LOSES EVERYTHING!

Philip had trouble holding onto things. His parents were always getting angry with him for losing his clothes, or his toys, or his homework. They didn't realize that it really wasn't Philip's fault--his things actually liked to run away from him!

When Philip was two, his blanket grew legs and ran out of the house. His mother and father weren't very happy. They thought that it was his fault.

When Philip was three, he loved playing with his toy airplane. One day it flew right off the shelf and out the window, all by itself. Somehow Philip got blamed again. "You need to learn how to take better care of your toys," his parents said.

A year later Philip had 12 pairs of socks run away from him! Obviously they were smart and had planned their escape well because Philip never figured out how they did it. When his mother went to buy him more socks, she asked what kind he wanted. "The kind of socks that can't climb out of a sock drawer," he said. She thought he was joking.

Whenever Philip did his homework, he had to hold the paper down. If he let it go for one second, it would run off the desk and try to go outside by sliding under the front door. If you thought Philip's parents didn't like his explanations, you should have seen his teacher's reaction!

One day Philip's mom bought him a brand new ruler for him to bring to school. "Everyone will need a ruler tomorrow," his teacher had said. His mother was very clear that Philip had better not lose the ruler.

Philip took extra care to make sure that the ruler didn't run away. He took a string and tied one end around the ruler and the other end around his dresser. All night long he kept one eye on the ruler, even as he was falling asleep.

Philip thought he had outsmarted the ruler, but he was wrong. It grew arms and legs and ran straight for the door. The string stopped it from getting out, but Philip had fallen asleep and didn't notice. The ruler used its hands to untie the string and crept out the door, trying not to wake Philip up.

Because the ruler was so tall and thin, it had trouble keeping its balance on the stairs and it fell down, hitting every single step on the way. The noise was loud enough to wake Philip up. He chased the ruler all through the house.

The ruler ran through the dining room, and Philip followed after. It ran through the kitchen and then straight out the front door. Philip caught it right before it reached the sidewalk.

"Gotcha!" he said. And just like that, the ruler stopped trying to run away. Philip put it on the ground and it happily walked right back up to his room. Philip finally understood why the ruler was running way--it was playing a game! It just wanted to have some fun.

After that, Philip found a way to keep his toys entertained without having them run away. His parents never yelled at him for losing things anymore. But occasionally they would see him playing board games against a ruler...

XXIV

PRESCOTT HAWTHORNE

Prescott Hawthorne talks to birds. Amidst their chirping he hears words. They tap his window all day long, To sit and joke or crow a song.

His cat Melinda watches, waiting, All the while, contemplating. She would like some feathered snacks, And when he leaves, the cat attacks!

She shuts the window, birds inside. They fly in panic, some collide. Melinda chases everyone. They're all scared, but she has fun.

The brave woodpecker bites her ears. Prescott hears the roaring cheers. He races back and starts to holler, "Stop it Mel," and grabs her collar.

She hides a crow between her claws, Too tight to hear the "caw cah caw's". The hummingbird, who saw it happen, Flies to Prescott, wings a flappin'.

"She's got my friend, please help him out." They knew he would, they had no doubt. "Okay Mel, I'll make a deal. Let him go, you'll get a meal."

Prescott waits, Melinda chooses, Shakes her head and still refuses. "Fine," he says, "I'm sorry Mel, but if you don't, I swear I'll tell."

"I'll go tell mom you ate her pie. I'll go tell dad you chewed his tie. All the other cats will know your secrets till you let him go."

The birds gave Prescott loud applause As Mel released him from her claws. The crow said, "How did you do that? You talk to birds, but she's a cat?"

"All the creatures large or small, I can understand them all."

"Sometimes they just ask for food, And other times they'll be quite rude. But always as I pass them by, They tell me how they want to fly!"

XXV

SIMON AND BARRY

Simon found a four-leaf clover. He was proud of himself until Barry walked by. "I found a five-leaf clover once," said Barry.

Simon got an A on his homework. He was proud of himself until Barry talked to him. "I get A+'s all the time," said Barry.

Simon learned how to ride a bike. He was proud of himself until Barry stopped by. "I can ride my bike backwards," said Barry.

Simon got his first allowance ever from his parents. He was proud of himself until Barry saw him. "I get so much allowance that I give my dad an allowance now," said Barry.

Simon got the lead in his school play. He was proud of himself until Barry found out. "They wrote a play about me once, called "Barry is Amazing," said Barry. "They're working on a sequel now," he added.

On his birthday, Simon's parents threw him a wonderful party. He was proud of his party until he realized Barry was there. "My party had twice as many people and five times as much cake!" said Barry.

By then, Simon was sick and tired of Barry ruining his moods. Also, he was sure that five times as much cake would be way too much for any party.

Simon's parents came outside and brought him a huge present. It was a dog with big floppy ears inside of a cage, and it was the best present he had ever gotten!

Barry opened his mouth to speak, but Simon interrupted.

"I don't care if you've had a better present, or if you own a bigger dog, or if you have the greatest pet ever. This is my dog, and I wouldn't trade him for anything," said Simon.

Simon played with his dog outside on his lawn. He was proud of all the tricks that his dog could do, especially when Barry walked by.

XXVI

THE BOULDERS AND THE BEAVERS

Jenny the Beaver was late for her job. She gets wood for the dam from a tree or a log. But today she was late and her boss was not happy.

"Before we begin, tell us where you have been!" said her boss, very meanly, while wearing a grin.

I was feeding the fish that swim here in this pond.

"Beavers build dams, that is what Beavers do. The only one worrying about fish is you.

And the beavers worked hard for the rest of the day.

The next day young Jenny was late once again. And when she arrived, she heard it right then:

"Before we begin, tell us where have you been?" said her boss, very meanly, while wearing a grin.

I was bringing the wolves some new leaves for their bed.

"Beavers build dams, that is what beavers do. The only one worrying about wolves, is you.

And the beavers worked hard for the rest of the day.

The next day young Jenny was later than ever. She tried to sneak up, but her boss was too clever.

"Before we begin, tell us where have you been?" said her boss, very meanly, while wearing a grin.

I was bringing the coyotes some roots for their pup.

"Beavers build dams, that is what beavers do. The only one worrying about coyotes, is you."

And the beavers worked hard for the rest of the day.

The next day young Jenny was latest of all. And all of the beavers waited right by the wall.

"Before we begin, tell us where have you been?" said her boss, very meanly, while wearing a grin.

I was bringing the hawks some twigs for their nest.

"Beavers build dams, that is what beavers do. The only one worrying about hawks, is you. Arrive late again, and your time here is through."

And the beavers worked hard for the rest of the day.

The next day young Jenny arrived rather early. But, still Jenny's boss, reacted quite poorly.

"You see it's not hard to show up when I say, Why did you finally listen today? said her boss, who still grinned in a mean sort of way.

"I was going to talk to my friend the bear, but beavers build dams, that is easy to see. And the only one worrying about bears is me."

And the beavers worked hard until catastrophe struck. A huge rock came barreling down the river and crashed right into the dam.

"Where did this come from! Someone must know, Jenny go ask all the fish if they know!"

Jenny went off to ask the fish, and then reported back.

"The current is strong and they could not go see, I'll go ask the wolves what the problem could be."

So Jenny went off to ask all the wolves, and then reported back.

"The brush is too thick and they could not get by, I'll go ask the coyotes, if they might know why."

So Jenny went off to ask the coyotes, and then reported back.

"They said that the boulder came falling from high, The hawks might have seen, since we know they can fly."

So Jenny went off to ask the hawks, and then reported back. This time she came back looking sad and upset.

Her boss yelled, "If the birds did not see, then you must ask the bear. Surely he knows, since his cave is up there."

"No need," said Jenny (since the hawks had just told her). "The bear will not help, since HE threw down the boulder."

And ever since that day, Jenny showed up when she pleased.

XXVII

THE CALIFORNIA GOLD RUSH

The richest story ever told, Is California's rush for gold,

At Sutter's Mill the gold was found The masses came from all around

As rumors first started the skeptics all laughed Until confirmation from President Taft

Word spread out quickly of bona fide gold The families packed up, and the east wagons rolled

They left lives at home, to try out being miners Named for the year, they were called forty-niners

Hundreds of thousands had rushed to the site They all saw gold nuggets, and wanted a bite!

Half came by the land, and the rest came by sea For riches untold and some prosperity

From countries like Mexico, Chile, Peru Then China and Britain and even France too

At first they were profiting, fortunes galore Compared to back east they made fifteen times more!

The economy saw what was known as a boom There was wealth to be found in a shop or saloon

But as the time passed gold was harder to find More people had come, and more land had been mined

The average prospector did not make out well Living was costly without gold to sell

Gold mining companies learned to survive And only they stood by eighteen fifty-five

Gold is worth money, and it's fine decoration But during the gold rush, it helped shape a nation

XXVIII

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DOT MAKES

In the middle of his dream, an artist awoke. He reached for his pencil and started to draw. He started with a single dot. It took the artist hours to finish his picture, and afterwards he collapsed back into bed. Soon he was asleep again, still smiling from thoughts of what he had drawn.

The dot, on the other hand, was not as happy. It looked around the page and saw lines all around. They were long and colorful, and the dot was neither. "I don't belong here," it thought, "I am just a small, meaningless dot and this picture does not need me." So the dot jumped off of the page.

It approached a newspaper that was lying nearby. There were dots all over the newspaper. "Surely this is where I am meant to be," it said aloud. As soon as the dot hopped onto the front page of the newspaper, all the other dots started to yell. "You cannot stay here!" they said. "Why not?" asked the dot. "You are dots, and you are here."

"We are not dots," they said, "we are periods, and we belong in books, and stories, and newspapers. You are just a dot." The dot felt silly, so it left the newspaper.

Then the dot saw a white cube with dots on every side. "This is where I belong," it thought to itself. "Excuse me," it said politely to four dots sitting on a side of the cube, "I am a dot and you are dots, so may I join you?"

"No, you may not," said the four dots. "We are dots on a pair of dice. An extra dot would ruin a pair of dice." The dot felt silly again and hopped over to the artist who was sound asleep.

"I wonder why he drew me..." thought the dot. And that's when it saw dots on the artist's hand and arm. "Perhaps this is where I was meant to be," said the dot as it crawled onto the artist's hand and rested.

"Ahem," said one of the dots on his arm. "AHEM!" said the arm dot even louder. "You are not a freckle. You are a dot, and only freckles belong here." "Aren't freckles a type of dot?" asked the dot, who was not feeling welcome anymore.

"Yes, we are," said the freckle, "We are a special kind of dot, and you are definitely not one of us." (Of all the dots it had met, the rejected dot felt that freckles were clearly the rudest.) The dot did not know what to do. It didn't belong with lines, or periods, or dice, or rude freckles.

The artist woke up at that very moment and went to look at his picture, but he was heartbroken by what he saw. He held up the drawing and sighed. "Where has my seed gone?" he cried.

"This is supposed to be a picture of a seed in the soil before it grows into a mighty tree, but without the seed, it is useless, and I cannot draw another so perfect as I did the first time," said the artist sadly.

The dot began to feel silly one last time. It had not realized that all along it was not just a dot, but also a seed. A seed may start off small, but there's no telling how large it will become, how many beautiful leaves it will grow, and how many people will find shelter under it.

The dot jumped back onto the page. It jumped onto the exact spot it had left because it knew that, although it was just a small dot, it meant much more in the big picture.

XXIX

THE ISLAND OF BUM BUM BA LOO

Have you sailed to the island of Bum Bum Ba Loo? It's something that all great explorers must do.

Ten years ago, I set off with my crew In search of the island of Bum Bum Ba Loo.

The waves on the sea made me wish that I flew To get to that island of Bum Bum Ba Loo.

The path on my map led us slightly askew, And we sailed every ocean before we were through.

But when we arrived it was then that I knew That all of the stories I heard must be true.

The water surrounding it shone a bright hue, A magnificent color, like no other blue.

A sign made with vines held together by glue Stood on the shore, reading "We Welcome You!"

The king had arranged for a great big to-do, And the queen herself shouted the loudest "Woohoo!"

The Bum Bum Ba Lites gave us bowls of their stew Which they made from the roots of the Great Bum Ba Doo.

The food could have fed seven hundred and two At the feast on the Island of Bum Bum Ba Loo.

Our drinks were quite tasty, a tropical brew. If you ask what was in them, I haven't a clue.

They served us desserts made with Bum Berry goo As we danced to the tune of the didgeridoo.

We all thanked the King for the party he threw, Of course, not forgetting to thank the Queen too.

From their palace they showed us the wonderful view, And we saw all the fields where the Bum Berries grew.

As gifts, I gave both of them gumballs to chew. When they asked me for more, I had only a few.

So we hopped on the ship where we kept a whole slew, But it got carried off when the northern wind blew.

The island has since waited to be found anew Till I pick someone worthy to give the map to.

And now I've decided to pass it to you To discover the island of Bum Bum Ba Loo.

XXX

THE PARTICULAR WAY OF ODD MS. MCKAY

Say what you will or say what you may, There's nobody else who is like Ms. McKay.

To all whom she passes, she gives a "Good Day!" And she's ready with maps if you've gone astray.

Her hair may be orange with two streaks of gray. Her purse may be made out of flowers and clay.

But her hugs have been known to go on for a day, And she wakes up each morning with something to say.

She had her house built in a tree by the bay, And she dangles a tire swing down every May.

She's famous for making a carrot soufflÉ. She'll give you five boxes, but won't let you pay.

She only eats food when it's served on a tray, And she cuts up her meals in a very odd way.

She owns her own pony who's known for his "neigh", And when she's out riding, people stop and they pray.

She'd lend you her coat, with no sign of delay. (She wove it from tree leaves and piles of hay.)

On Sundays she puts on her purple beret, And never, not once, has she missed the ballet.

Her voice is quite bad, but she sings everyday. If she's holding her trumpet, don't ask her to play!

I think she should meet you as soon as today, And if you stop by, she'll insist that you stay.

And say what you will or say what you may, You'll remember the day that you met Ms. McKay.

XXXI

THE STORY OF YES AND NO

Before words were words, a boy named Yes lived in a small village in a small kingdom. Yes was good at everything. He was the best, smartest and most liked person in his village.

Yes had a brother, and his name was No. No was jealous of his brother because he was not much good at anything himself. Whenever the villagers asked No for help, he refused because he didn't like people very much. Whenever someone asked Yes for a favor, he would gladly help, and he secretly didn't mind the fact that it irritated No when he did.

One day Yes and No's father, Okay, went on a long journey and he left his two sons in charge of all the animals. Yes took good care of the great guck, and the icks, and the three-toed yock. [Keep in mind, my dear friend, that the guck, ick, and three-toed yock were ancient animals, so you might know them by different names today.] No didn't want to be bothered with the boring tasks involved with taking care of the animals. So instead of helping his brother, No went down to the lake and threw rocks into the water.

A few days after his father left, Yes asked his brother to watch the three-toed yock while he went to find some food to eat. Instead of doing what Yes had asked, No lay down, shut his eyes, and forgot about the yock.

It just so happened that the King had a personal road nearby, and he traveled on it often. So often, that when the three-toed yock wandered onto the road, the King's carriage was passing by and had to swerve to avoid hitting it. The King was thrown from the carriage, fell to the ground, and was badly injured.

The King demanded to know why a three-toed yock had been allowed on his road alone and he asked all the villagers for an explanation. Yes was always honest, so he told the King the entire story.

The King thought for a moment, and then he came up with an idea that he was quite happy with. Yes and No were to work in the castle as his personal assistants as punishment for what was later referred to as "the worst three-toed yock and carriage accident in the Kingdom's history".

The King needed help with many things around the castle because a King cannot be bothered with the daily tasks involved with running a kingdom. However, soon after his decision about the two brothers, the King realized that only Yes would be of any use to him as a servant.

Whenever the King asked No to bring him anything, it would get thrown away, broken, or eaten, without exception. The King was quite sure that No was the worst servant in the entire world.

The brothers' most important task was to help pick the food for a grand party that the King was throwing later that night. Cooks from all over the kingdom lined up at the castle's gate to offer the King their food for the party. Of course, the King could not go and grab the food himself, so he asked Yes and No to do it for him.