Part 16
Well, don't let me interrupt you.
MIZZIE (_throws a kiss to him and disappears from the balcony_)
COUNT (_to the valet_)
What are you waiting for? Oh, the carriage. I'm not going out again to-day. Joseph can take a holiday. Or wait a moment. (_He calls up to the balcony_) Say, Mizzie....
MIZZIE (_reappears on the balcony_)
COUNT
Sorry to disturb you again. Do you think you'll want the carriage to-day?
MIZZIE
No, thank you, papa. I can think of nothing.... No, thanks. (_She disappears again_)
COUNT
So Joseph can do what he pleases this afternoon. That's--oh, see that Franz gives the nag a good rubbing down. We got a little excited this morning--both of us.
VALET (_goes out_)
COUNT (_sits down on the garden seat, picks up a newspaper from the table and begins to read_)
GARDENER (_enters_)
Good morning, Your Grace.
COUNT
Morning, Peter. What's up?
GARDENER
With Your Grace's permission, I have just cut the tea roses.
COUNT
Why all that lot?
GARDENER
The bush is full up. It ain't wise, Your Grace, to leave 'em on the stem much longer. If maybe Your Grace could find some use....
COUNT
Haven't got any. Why do you stand there looking at me? I'm not going to the city. I won't need any flowers. Why don't you put them in some of those vases and things that are standing about in there? Quite the fashion nowadays, isn't it? (_He takes the bunch of flowers from the gardener and inhales their fragrance while he seems to be pondering something_) Wasn't that a carriage that stopped here?
GARDENER
That's His Highness' pair of blacks. I know 'em by their step.
COUNT
Thanks very much then. (_He hands back the roses_)
PRINCE (_comes in by the gate_)
COUNT (_goes to meet him_)
GARDENER
Good morning, Your Highness.
PRINCE
Hello, Peter.
GARDENER (_goes out toward the right_)
PRINCE (_wears a light-colored Summer suit; is fifty-five, but doesn't look it; tall and slender; his manner of speech suggests the diplomat, who is as much at home in French as in his native tongue_)
COUNT
Delighted, old chap. How goes it?
PRINCE
Thanks. Splendid day.
COUNT (_offers him one of his gigantic cigars_)
PRINCE
No, thank you, not before lunch. Only one of my own cigarettes, if you permit. (_He takes a cigarette from his case and lights it_)
COUNT
So you've found time to drop in at last. Do you know how long you haven't been here? Three weeks.
PRINCE (_glancing toward the balcony_)
Really that long?
COUNT
What is it that makes you so scarce?
PRINCE
You mustn't mind. But you are right, of course. And even to-day I come only to say good-by.
COUNT
What--good-by?
PRINCE
I shall be off to-morrow.
COUNT
You're going away? Where?
PRINCE
The sea shore. And you--have you made any plans yet?
COUNT
I haven't given a thought to it yet--this year.
PRINCE
Well, of course, it's wonderful right here--with your enormous park. But you have to go somewhere later in the Summer?
COUNT
Don't know yet. But it's all one.
PRINCE
What's wrong now?
COUNT
Oh, my dear old friend, it's going downhill.
PRINCE
How? That's a funny way of talking, Arpad. What do you mean by downhill?
COUNT
One grows old, Egon.
PRINCE
Yes, and gets accustomed to it.
COUNT
What do you know about it--you who are five years younger?
PRINCE
Six almost. But at fifty-five the springtime of life is pretty well over. Well--one gets resigned to it.
COUNT
You have always been something of a philosopher, old chap.
PRINCE
Anyhow, I can't see what's the matter with you. You look fine. (_Seats himself; frequently during this scene he glances up at the balcony; pause_)
COUNT (_with sudden decision_)
Have you heard the latest? She's going to marry.
PRINCE
Who's going to marry?
COUNT
Do you have to ask? Can't you guess?
PRINCE
Oh, I see. Thought it might be Mizzie. And that would also.... So Lolo is going to marry.
COUNT
She is.
PRINCE
But that's hardly the "latest."
COUNT
Why not?
PRINCE
It's what she has promised, or threatened, or whatever you choose to call it, these last three years.
COUNT
Three, you say? May just as well say ten. Or eighteen. Yes, indeed. In fact, since the very start of this affair between her and me. It has always been a fixed idea with her. "If ever a decent man asks me to marry him, I'll get off the stage _stante pede_." It was almost the first thing she told me. You have heard it yourself a couple of times. And now he's come--the one she has been waiting for--and she's to get married.
PRINCE
Hope he's decent at least.
COUNT
Yes, you're very witty! But is that your only way of showing sympathy in a serious moment like this?
PRINCE
Now! (_He puts his hand on the Count's arm_)
COUNT
Well, I assure you, it's a serious moment. It's no small matter when you have lived twenty years with somebody--in a _near_-marital state; when you have been spending your best years with her, and really shared her joys and sorrows--until you have come to think at last, that it's never going to end--and then she comes to you one fine day and says: "God bless you, dear, but I'm going to get wedded on the sixteenth...." Oh, damn the whole story! (_He gets up and begins to walk about_) And I can't blame her even. Because I understand perfectly. So what can you do about it?
PRINCE
You've always been much too kind, Arpad.
COUNT
Nothing kind about it. Why shouldn't I understand? The clock has struck thirty-eight for her. And she has said adieu to her profession. So that anybody can sympathize with her feeling that there is no fun to go on as a ballet dancer retired on half pay and mistress on active service to Count Pazmandy, who'll be nothing but an old fool either, as time runs along. Of course, I have been prepared for it. And I haven't blamed her a bit--'pon my soul!
PRINCE
So you have parted as perfect friends?
COUNT
Certainly. In fact, our leave-taking was quite jolly. 'Pon my soul, I never suspected at first how tough it would prove. It's only by degrees it has come home to me. And that's quite a remarkable story, I must say....
PRINCE
What's remarkable about it?
COUNT
I suppose I had better tell you all about it. On my way home that last time--one night last week--I had a feeling all of a sudden--I don't know how to express it ... tremendously relieved, that's what I felt. Now you are a free man, I said to myself. Don't have to drive to Mayerhof Street[3] every night God grants you, merely to dine and chatter with Lolo, or just sit there listening to her. Had come to be pretty boresome at times, you know. And then the drive home in the middle of the night, and, on top of it, to be called to account when you happened to be dining with a friend in the Casino or taking your daughter to the opera or a theater. To cut it short--I was in high feather going home that night. My head was full of plans already.... No, nothing of the kind you have in mind! But plans for traveling, as I have long wanted to do--to Africa, or India, like a free man.... That is, I should have brought my little girl along, of course.... Yes, you may well laugh at my calling her a little girl still.
[3] A street in the district of Wieden, near one of the principal shopping districts and leading to the great Theresian Riding Academy.
PRINCE
Nothing of the kind. Mizzie looks exactly like a young girl. Like quite a young one. Especially in that Florentine straw hat she was wearing a while ago.
COUNT
Like a young girl, you say! And yet she's exactly of an age with Lolo. You know, of course! Yes, we're growing old, Egon. Every one of us. Oh, yes.... And lonely. But really, I didn't notice it to begin with. It was only by degrees it got hold of me. The first days after that farewell feast were not so very bad. But the day before yesterday, and yesterday, as the time approached when I used to start for Mayerhof Street.... And when Peter brought in those roses a moment ago--for Lolo, of course--why, then it seemed pretty plain to me that I had become a widower for the second time in my life. Yes, my dear fellow. And this time forever. Now comes the loneliness. It has come already.
PRINCE
But that's nonsense--loneliness!
COUNT
Pardon me, but you can't understand. Your way of living has been so different from mine. You have not let yourself be dragged into anything new since your poor wife died ten years ago. Into nothing of a serious nature, I mean. And besides, you have a profession, in a sense.
PRINCE
Have I?
COUNT
Well, as a member of the Upper House.
PRINCE
Oh, I see.
COUNT
And twice you have almost been put into the cabinet.
PRINCE
Yes, almost....
COUNT
Who knows? Perhaps you will break in some time. And I'm all done. Had myself retired three years ago in the bargain--like a fool.
PRINCE (_with a smile_)
That's why you are a free man now. Perfectly free. With the world open before you.
COUNT
And no desire to do a thing, old man. That's the whole story. Since that time I haven't gone to the Casino even. Do you know what I have been doing the last few nights? I have sat under that tree with Mizzie--playing domino.
PRINCE
Well, don't you see? That's not to be lonely. When you have a daughter, and particularly such a sensible one, with whom you have always got on so well.... What does she say about your staying at home nights anyhow?
COUNT
Nothing. Besides, it has happened before, quite frequently. She says nothing at all. And what could she say? It seems to me she has never noticed anything. Do you think she can have known about Lolo?
PRINCE (_laughing_)
Man alive!
COUNT
Of course. Yes, I know. Of course, she must have known. But then, I was still almost a young man when her mother died. I hope it hasn't hurt her feelings.
PRINCE
No, _that_ wouldn't. (_Casually_) But being left so much alone may have troubled her at times, I should think.
COUNT
Has she complained of me? There's no reason why you shouldn't tell me.
PRINCE
I am not in her confidence. She has never complained to me. And, heavens, it may never have troubled her at all. She has so long been accustomed to this quiet, retired life.
COUNT
Yes, and she seems to have a taste for it, too. And then she used to go out a good deal until a few years ago. Between you and me, Egon, as late as three years ago--no, two years ago--I still thought she might make the plunge after all.
PRINCE
What plunge? Oh, I see....
COUNT
If you could only guess what kind of men have been paying attention to her quite recently....
PRINCE
That's only natural.
COUNT
But she won't. She absolutely won't. What I mean is, that she can't be feeling so very lonely ... otherwise she would ... as she has had plenty of opportunity....
PRINCE
Certainly. It's her own choice. And then Mizzie has an additional resource in her painting. It's a case like that of my blessed aunt, the late Fanny Hohenstein, who went on writing books to a venerable old age and never wanted to hear a word about marriage.
COUNT
It may have some connection with her artistic aspirations. At times I'm inclined to look for some psychological connection between all these morbid tendencies.
PRINCE
Morbid, you say? But you can't possibly call Mizzie morbid.
COUNT
Oh, it's all over now. But there was a time....
PRINCE
I have always found Mizzie very sensible and very well balanced. After all, painting roses and violets doesn't prove a person morbid by any means.
COUNT
You don't think me such a fool that her violets and roses could make me believe.... But if you remember when she was still a young girl....
PRINCE
What then?
COUNT
Oh, that story at the time Fedor Wangenheim wanted to marry her.
PRINCE
O Lord, are you still thinking of that? Besides, there was no truth in it. And that was eighteen or twenty years ago almost.
COUNT
Her wanting to join the Ursuline Sisters rather than marry that nice young fellow, to whom she was as good as engaged already--and then up and away from home all at once--you might call that morbid, don't you think?
PRINCE
What has put you in mind of that ancient story to-day?
COUNT
Ancient, you say? I feel as if it happened last year only. It was at the very time when my own affair with Lolo had just begun. Ah, harking back like that...! And if anybody had foretold me at the time...! You know, it really began like any ordinary adventure. In the same reckless, crazy way. Yes, crazy--that's it. Not that I want to make myself out worse than I am, but it was lucky for all of us that my poor wife had already been dead a couple of years. Lolo seemed ... my fate. Mistress and wife at the same time. Because she's such a wonderful cook, you know. And the way she makes you comfortable. And always in good humor--never a cross word.... Well, it's all over. Don't let us talk of it.... (_Pause_) Tell me, won't you stay for lunch? And I must call Mizzie.
PRINCE (_checking him_)
Wait--I have something to tell you. (_Casually, almost facetiously_) I want you to be prepared.
COUNT
Why? For what?
PRINCE
There is a young man coming here to be introduced.
COUNT (_astonished_)
What? A young man?
PRINCE
If you have no objection.
COUNT
Why should I object? But who is he?
PRINCE
Dear Arpad--he's my son.
COUNT (_greatly surprised_)
What?
PRINCE
Yes, my son. You see, I didn't want--as I'm going away....
COUNT
Your son? You've got a son?
PRINCE
I have.
COUNT
Well, did you ever...! You have got a young man who is your son--or rather, you have got a son who is a young man. How old?
PRINCE
Seventeen.
COUNT
Seventeen! And you haven't told me before! No, Egon ... Egon! And tell me ... seventeen...? My dear chap, then your wife was still alive....
PRINCE
Yes, my wife was still alive at the time. You see, Arpad, one gets mixed up in all sorts of strange affairs.
COUNT
'Pon my soul, so it seems!
PRINCE
And thus, one fine day, you find yourself having a son of seventeen with whom you go traveling.
COUNT
So it's with him you are going away?
PRINCE
I am taking that liberty.
COUNT
No, I couldn't possibly tell you.... Why, he has got a son of seventeen!... (_Suddenly he grasps the hand of the Prince, and then puts his arms about him_) And if I may ask ... the mother of that young gentleman, your son ... how it happens ... as you have started telling me....
PRINCE
She's dead long ago. Died a couple of weeks after he was born. A mere slip of a girl.
COUNT
Of the common people?
PRINCE
Oh, of course. But a charming creature. I may as well tell you everything about it. That is, as far as I can recall it myself. The whole story seems like a dream. And if it were not for the boy....
COUNT
And all that you tell me only now! To-day only--just before the boy is coming here!
PRINCE
You never can tell how a thing like that may be received.
COUNT
Tut, tut! Received, you say...? Did you believe perhaps ... I'm something of a philosopher myself, after all.... And you call yourself a friend of mine!
PRINCE
Not a soul has known it--not a single soul in the whole world.
COUNT
But you might have told me. Really, I don't see how you could.... Come now, it wasn't quite nice.
PRINCE
I wanted to wait and see how the boy developed. You never can tell....
COUNT
Of course, with a mixed pedigree like that.... But you seem reassured now?
PRINCE
Oh, yes, he's a fine fellow.
COUNT (_embracing him again_)
And where has he been living until now?
PRINCE
His earliest years were spent a good way from Vienna--in the Tirol.
COUNT
With peasants?
PRINCE
No, with a small landowner. Then he went to school for some time at Innsbruck. And during the last few years I have been sending him to the preparatory school at Krems.[4]
[4] Innsbruck is the capital of the province of Tirol. Krems is a small city on the Donau, not so very far from Vienna, having a fine high school or "gymnasium." The idea is, of course, that as the boy grew up, his father became more and more interested and wanted to have him within easier reach.
COUNT
And you have seen him frequently?
PRINCE
Of course.
COUNT
And what's _his_ idea of it anyhow?
PRINCE
Up to a few days ago he thought that he had lost both his parents--his father as well--and that I was a friend of his dead father.
MIZZIE (_appearing on the balcony_)
Good morning, Prince Egon.
PRINCE
Good morning, Mizzie.
COUNT
Well, won't you come down a while?
MIZZIE
Oh, if I am not in the way.... (_She disappears_)
COUNT
And what are we going to say to Mizzie?
PRINCE
I prefer to leave that to you, of course. But as I am adopting the boy anyhow, and as a special decree by His Majesty will probably enable him to assume my name in a few days ...
COUNT (_surprised_)
What?
PRINCE
... I think it would be wiser to tell Mizzie the truth at once.
COUNT
Certainly, certainly--and why shouldn't we? Seeing that you are adopting him.... It's really funny--but, you see, a daughter, even when she gets to be an old maid, is nothing but a little girl to her father.
MIZZIE (_appears; she is thirty-seven, but still very attractive; wears a Florentine straw hat and a white dress; she gives the Count a kiss before holding out her hand to the Prince_) Well, how do you do, Prince Egon? We don't see much of you these days.
PRINCE
Thank you.--Have you been very industrious?
MIZZIE
Painting a few flowers.
COUNT
Why so modest, Mizzie? (_To the Prince_) Professor Windhofer told her recently that she could safely exhibit. Won't have to fear comparison with Mrs. Wisinger-Florian herself.[5]
[5] "Neben der Wiesinger-Florian." The name is slightly misspelt in the German text. It is that of Mrs. Olga Wisinger-Florian, a well-known Viennese painter of floral pieces, whose work is represented in many of the big galleries in Europe. She was born in 1844, made her name in the early eighties, and is still living.
MIZZIE
That's so, perhaps. But I have no ambition of that kind.
PRINCE
I'm rather against exhibiting, too. It puts you at the mercy of any newspaper scribbler.
MIZZIE
Well, how about the members of the Upper House--at least when they make speeches?
COUNT
And how about all of us? Is there anything into which they don't poke their noses?
PRINCE
Yes, thanks to prevailing tendencies, there are people who would blackguard your pictures merely because you happen to be a countess, Mizzie.
COUNT
Yes, you're right indeed.
VALET (_entering_)
Your Grace is wanted on the telephone.
COUNT
Who is it? What is it about?
VALET
There is somebody who wishes to speak to Your Grace personally.
COUNT
You'll have to excuse me a moment. (_To the Prince, in a lowered voice_) Tell her now--while I am away. I prefer it. (_He goes out followed by the valet_)
MIZZIE
Somebody on the telephone--do you think papa can have fallen into new bondage already? (_She seats herself_)
PRINCE
Into _new_ bondage, you say?
MIZZIE
Lolo used always to telephone about this time. But it's all over with her now. You know it, don't you?
PRINCE
I just heard it.
MIZZIE
And what do you think of it, Prince Egon. I am rather sorry, to tell the truth. If he tries anything new now, I'm sure he'll burn his fingers. And I do fear there is something in the air. You see, he's still too young for his years.
PRINCE
Yes, that's so.
MIZZIE (_turning so that she faces the Prince_)
And by the way, you haven't been here for ever so long.
PRINCE
You haven't missed me very much ... I fear.... Your art ... and heaven knows what else....
MIZZIE (_without affectation_)
Nevertheless....
PRINCE
Awfully kind of you.... (_Pause_)
MIZZIE
What makes you speechless to-day? Tell me something. Isn't there anything new in the world at all?
PRINCE (_as if he had thought of it only that moment_)
Our son has just passed his examinations for the university.
MIZZIE (_slightly perturbed_)
I hope you have more interesting news to relate.
PRINCE
More interesting....
MIZZIE
Or news, at least, that concerns me more closely than the career of a strange young man.
PRINCE
I have felt obliged, however, to keep you informed about the more important stages in the career of this young man. When he was about to be confirmed, I took the liberty to report the fact to you. But, of course, we don't have to talk any more about it.
MIZZIE
He pulled through, I hope?
PRINCE
With honors.
MIZZIE
The stock seems to be improving.
PRINCE
Let us hope so.
MIZZIE
And now the great moment is approaching, I suppose.
PRINCE
What moment?
MIZZIE
Have you forgotten already? As soon as he had passed his examinations, you meant to reveal yourself as his father.
PRINCE
So I have done already.
MIZZIE
You--have told him already?
PRINCE
I have.
MIZZIE (_after a pause, without looking at him_)
And his mother--is dead...?
PRINCE
She is--so far.
MIZZIE
And forever. (_Rising_)
PRINCE
As you please.
[_The Count enters, followed by the valet._
VALET
But it was Your Grace who said that Joseph could be free.
COUNT
Yes, yes, it's all right.
VALET (_goes out_)
MIZZIE
What's the matter, papa?
COUNT
Nothing, my girl, nothing. I wanted to get somewhere quick--and that infernal Joseph.... If you don't mind, Mizzie, I want to have a few words with Egon.... (_To the Prince_) Do you know, she has been trying to get me before. I mean Lolo. But she couldn't get the number. And now Laura telephones--oh, well, that's her maid, you know--that she has just started on her way here.
PRINCE
Here? To see you?
COUNT
Yes.
PRINCE
But why?
COUNT
Oh, I think I can guess. You see, she has never put her foot in this place, of course, and I have been promising her all the time that she could come here once to have a look at the house and the park before she married. Her standing grievance has always been that I couldn't receive her here. On account of Mizzie, you know. Which she has understood perfectly well. And to sneak her in here some time when Mizzie was not at home--well, for that kind of thing I have never had any taste. And so she sends me a telephone message, that the marriage is set for the day after to-morrow, and that she is on her way here now.
PRINCE
Well, what of it? She is not coming here as your mistress, and so I can't see that you have any reason for embarrassment.
COUNT