Part 5

The Memory of _Astarte_ had made too strong an Impression on his Mind, to close with this warm Declaration: He took his leave, however, that Moment, and waited on the Chiefs. He communicated to them the Substance of their private Conversation, and prevailed with them to make it a Law for the future, that no Widow should be allow'd to fall a Victim to a deceased Husband, till after she had admitted some young Man to converse with her in private for a whole Hour together. The Law was pass'd accordingly, and not one Widow in all _Arabia_, from that Day to this, ever observ'd the Custom. 'Twas to _Zadig_ alone that the _Arabian_ Dames were indebted for the Abolition, in one Hour, of a Custom so very inhuman, that had been practis'd for such a Number of Ages. _Zadig_, therefore, with the strictest Justice, was look'd upon by all the Fair Sex in _Arabia_, as their most bountiful Benefactor.

CHAP. XI.

_The Evening's Entertainment._

_Setoc_, who would never stir out without his Bosom-Friend (in whom alone, as he thought, all Wisdom center'd) resolv'd to take him with him to _Balzora_ Fair, whither the richest Merchants round the whole habitable Globe, us'd annually to resort. _Zadig_ was delighted to see such a Concourse of substantial Tradesmen from all Countries, assembled together in one Place. It appear'd to him, as if the whole Universe was but one large Family, and all happily met together at _Balzora_. On the second Day of the Fair, he sat down to Table with an _Egyptian_, an _Indian_, that liv'd on the Banks of the River _Ganges_, an Inhabitant of _Cathay_, a _Grecian_, a _Celt_, and several other Foreigners, who by their frequent Voyages towards the _Arabian_ Gulf, were so far conversant with the _Arabic_ Language, as to be able to discourse freely, and be mutually understood. The _Egyptian_ began to fly into a Passion; what a scandalous Place is this _Balzora_, said he, where they refuse to lend me a thousand Ounces of Gold, upon the best Security that can possibly be offer'd. Pray, said _Setoc_, what may the Commodity be that you would deposit as a Pledge for the Sum you mention. Why, the Corpse of my deceased Aunt, said he, who was one of the finest Women in all _Egypt_. She was my constant Companion; but unhappily died upon the Road. I have taken so much Care, that no Mummy whatever can equal it: And was I in my own Country, I could be furnish'd with what Sum soever I pleas'd, were I dispos'd to mortgage it. 'Tis a strange Thing that Nobody here will advance so small a Sum upon so valuable a Commodity. No sooner had he express'd his Resentment, but he was going to cut up a fine boil'd Pullet, in order to make a Meal on't, when an _Indian_ laid hold of his Hand, and with deep Concern, cried out, For God's Sake what are you about? Why, said the _Egyptian_, I design to make a Wing of this Fowl one Part of my Supper. Pray, good Sir, consider what you are doing, said the _Indian_. 'Tis very possible, that the Soul of the deceas'd Lady may have taken its Residence in that Fowl. And you wouldn't surely run the Risque of eating up your Aunt? To boil a Fowl is, doubtless, a most shameful Outrage done to Nature. Pshaw! What a Pother you make about the boiling of a Fowl, and flying in the Face of Nature, replied the _Egyptian_ in a Pet; tho' we _Egyptians_ pay divine Adoration to the Ox; yet we can make a hearty Meal of a Piece of roast Beef for all that. Is it possible, Sir, that your Country-men should act so absurdly, as to pay an Ox the Tribute of divine Worship, said the _Indian_? Absurd as you think it, said the other, the Ox has been the principal Object of Adoration all over _Egypt_, for these hundred and thirty five thousand Years, and the most abandon'd _Egyptian_ has never been as yet so impious as to gain-say it. Ay, Sir, an hundred thirty five thousand Years, say you, surely you must be out a little in your Calculation. 'Tis but about fourscore thousand Years, since _India_ was first inhabited. Sure I am, we are a more antient People than you are, and our _Brama_ prohibited the eating of Beef long before your Nation ever erected an Altar in Honour of the Ox, or ever put one upon a Spit. What a Racket you make about your _Brama_! Is he able to stand the least in Competition with our _Apis_, said the _Egyptian_? Let us hear, pray, what mighty Feats have been done by your boasted _Brama_? Why, replied the _Bramin_, he first taught his Votaries to write and read; and 'tis to him alone, all the World is indebted for the Invention of the noble Game of Chess. You are quite out, Sir, in your Notion, said a _Chaldean_, who sat within Hearing: All these invaluable Blessings were deriv'd from the Fish _Oannes_; and 'tis that alone to which the Tribute of divine Adoration is justly due. All the World will tell you, that 'twas a divine Being whose Tail was pure Gold, whose Head resembled that of a Man, tho' indeed the Features were much more beautiful; and that he condescended to visit the Earth three Hours every Day, for the Instruction of Mankind. He had a numerous Issue, as is very well known, and all of them were powerful Monarchs. I have a Picture of it at Home, to which, as in Duty I ought, I Say my Prayers at Night before I go to Bed, and every Morning that I rise. There is no Harm, Sir, as I can conceive, in partaking of a Piece of roast Beef; but, doubtless, 'tis a mortal Sin, a Crime of the blackest Dye, to touch a Piece of Fish. Besides, you cannot justly boast of so illustrious an Origin, and you are both of you mere Moderns, in Comparison to us _Chaldeans_, You _Egyptians_ lay claim to no more than 135,000 Years, and you _Indians_, but of 80,000. Whereas we have Almanacks that are dated 4000 Centuries backwards. Take my Word for it; I speak nothing but Truth; renounce your Errors, and I'll make each of you a Present of a fine Portrait of our _Oannes_.

A Native of _Cambalu_, entring into the Debate, said, I have a very great Veneration, not only for the _Egyptians_, _Chaldeans_, _Greeks_, and _Celtae_; but for _Brama_, _Apis_, and the _Oannes_, but in my humble Opinion, the *_Li_, or as 'tis by some call'd, the *_Tien_, is an Object more deserving of divine Adoration than any Ox, or Fish, how much soever you may boast of their respective Perfections. All I shall say, in regard to my native Country, 'tis of much greater Extent, than all _Egypt_, _Chaldea_, and the _Indies_ put together. I shall lay no Stress on the Antiquity of my Country; for I imagine 'tis of much greater Importance to be the happiest People, than the most antient under the Sun. However, since you were talking of the Almanacks, I must beg the Liberty to tell you, that ours are look'd upon to be the best all over _Asia_; and that we had several very correct ones before the Art of Arithmetick was ever heard of in _Chaldea_.

* _The_ Chinese _Term_, Li, _signifies, properly speaking, natural Light, or Reason; and_ Tien, _the Heavens, or the supreme Being._

You are all of you a Parcel of illiterate, ignorant Bigots, cry'd a _Grecian_: 'Tis plain, you know nothing of the Chaos, and that the World, as it now stands, is owing wholly to _Matter_ and _Form_. The _Greek_ ran on for a considerable Time; but was at last interrupted by a _Celt_, who having drank deep, during the whole Time of this Debate, thought himself ten Times wiser than any of his Antagonists; and wrapping out a great Oath, insisted, that all their Gods were nothing, if set in Competition with the _Teutath_ or the Misletoe on the Oak. As for my part, said he, I carry some of it always in my Pocket: As to my Ancestors, they were _Scythians_, and the only Men worth talking of in the whole World: 'Tis true, indeed, they would now and then make a Meal of their Country-men, but that ought not to be urg'd as any Objection to his Country; and, in short, if any one of you, or all of you, shall dare to say any thing disrespectful of _Teutath_, I'll defend its Cause to the last Drop of my Blood. The Quarrel grew warmer and warmer, and _Setoc_ expected that the Table would be overset, and that Blood-shed would ensue. _Zadig_, who hadn't once open'd his Lips during the whole Controversy, at last rose up, and address'd himself to the _Celt_, in the first Place, as being the most noisy and outrageous. Sir, said he, Your Notions in this Affair are very just: Good Sir, oblige me with a Bit of your Misletoe. Then turning about, he expatiated on the Eloquence of the _Grecian_, and in a Word, soften'd in the most artful Manner all the contending Parties. He said but little indeed to the _Cathayian_; because he was more cool, and sedate than any of the others. To conclude, he address'd them all in general Terms, to this or the like Effect: My dear Friends, You have been contesting all this while about an important Topick, in which 'tis evident, you are all unanimously agreed. Agreed, quotha! they all cried, in an angry Tone, How so, pray? Why said he to the hot, testy _Celt_, is it not true, that you do not in effect adore this Misletoe, but that Being who created that Misletoe and the Oak, to which it is so closely united? Doubtless, Sir, reply'd the _Celt_. And you, Sir, said he, to the _Egyptian_, You revere, thro' your venerable _Apis_, the great Author of every Ox's Being. We do so, said the _Egyptian_. The mighty _Oannes_, tho' the Sovereign of the Sea, continued he, must give Precedence to that Power, who made both the Sea, and every Fish that dwells therein. We allow it, said the _Chaldean_. The _Indian_, adds he, and the _Cathayan_, acknowledge one supreme Being, or first Cause, as well as you. As to what that profound worthy Gentleman the _Grecian_ has advanc'd, is, I must own, a little above my weak Comprehension, but I am fully persuaded, that he will allow there is a supreme Being on whom his favourite Matter and Form are entirely dependent. The _Grecian_, who was look'd upon as a Sage amongst them, said, with Abundance of Gravity, that _Zadig_, had made a very just Construction of his Meaning. Now, Gentlemen, I appeal to you all, said _Zadig_, whether you are not unanimous to a Man, in the Debate upon the Carpet, and whether there are any just Grounds for the least Divisions or Animosities amongst you. The whole Company, cool at once, caress'd him; and _Setoc_, after he had sold off all his Goods and Merchandize at a round Price, took his Friend _Zadig_ Home with him to the Land of _Horeb_. _Zadig_, upon his first Arrival was inform'd, that a Prosecution had been carried on against him during his Absence, and that the Sentence pronounc'd against him was, that he should be burnt alive before a slow Fire.

CHAP. XII.

_The_ RENDEZVOUS.

Whilst _Zadig_ attended his Friend _Setoc_ to _Balzora_, the Priests of the Stars were determin'd to punish him. As all the costly Jewels, and other valuable Decorations, in which every young Widow that sacrificed her self on her Husband's Funeral-pile, were their customary Fees, 'tis no great Wonder, indeed, that they were inclin'd to burn poor _Zadig_, for playing them such a scurvy Trick. _Zadig_ therefore, was accus'd of holding heretical and damnable Tenets, in regard to the Celestial Host: They depos'd, and swore point-blank, that he had been heard to aver, that the Stars never sat in the Sea. This horrid blasphemous Declaration thunder-struck all the Judges, and they were ready to rend their Mantles at the Sound of such an impious Assertion; and they would have made _Zadig_, had he been a Man of Substance, paid very severely for his heretical Notions. But in the Height of their Pity and Compassion for even such an Infidel, they would lay no Fine upon him; but content themselves with seeing him roasted alive before a slow Fire. _Setoc_, tho' without Hopes of Success, us'd all the Interest he had to save his bosom Friend from so shocking a Death; but they turn'd a deaf Ear to all his Remonstrances, and oblig'd him to hold his Tongue. The young Widow _Almona_, who by this Time was not only reconcil'd to living a little longer, but had some Taste for the Pleasures of Life, and knew that she was entirely indebted to _Zadig_ for it, resolv'd, if possible, to free her Benefactor from being burnt, as he had before convinc'd her of the Folly of it in her Case. She ponder'd upon this weighty Affair very seriously; but said nothing to any one whomsoever. _Zadig_ was to be executed the next Day; and she had only a few Hours left to carry her Project into Execution. Now the Reader shall hear with how much Benevolence and Discretion this amiable Widow behav'd on this emergent Occasion.

In the first Place, she made use of the most costly Perfumes; and drest herself to the utmost Advantage to render her Charms as conspicuous as possible; And thus gaily attir'd, demanded a private Audience of the High Priest of the Stars. Upon her first Admittance into his august and venerable Presence, she address'd herself in the following Terms. O thou first-born and well-beloved Son of the Great Bear, Brother of the Bull, and first Cousin to the Dog, (these you must know were the Pontiff's high Titles) I come to confess myself before you: My Conscience is my Accuser, and I am terribly afraid I have been guilty of a mortal Sin, by declining the stated Custom of burning my self on my Husband's Funeral-pile? What could tempt me, in short, to a Prolongation of my Life, I can't imagine, I, who am grown a perfect Skeleton, all wrinkled and deform'd. She paus'd, and pulling off, with a negligent but artful Air, her long silk Gloves; She display'd a soft, plump, naked Arm, and white as Snow: You see, Sir, said she, that all my Charms are blasted. Blasted, Madam, said the luscious Pontiff; No! Your Charms are still resistless: His Eyes, and his Mouth, with which he kiss'd her Hand, confirm'd their Power: Such an Arm, Madam, by the Great _Orasmades_, I never saw before. Alas! said the Widow, with a modest Blush; my Arm Sir, 'tis probable, may have the Advantage of any hidden Part; but see, good Father, what a Neck is here; as yellow as Saffron, an Object not worth regarding. Then she display'd such a snowy, panting Bosom, that Nature could not mend it. A Rose-Bud on an Ivory Apple, would, if set in Competition with her spotless Whiteness, make no better Appearance than common Madder upon a Shrub; and the whitest Wool, just out of the Laver, were she but by, would seem but of a light-brown Hue.

Her Neck, her large black, sparkling Eyes, that languishingly roll'd, and seem'd as 'twere, on Fire; her lovely Cheeks, glowing with White and Red, her Nose, that was not unlike the Tower of Mount _Lebanon_, her Lips, which were like two Borders of Coral, inclosing two Rows of the best Pearls in the _Arabian_ Sea; such a Combination, I say, of Charms, made the old Pontiff judge she was scarce twenty Years of Age; and in a kind of Flutter, to make her a Declaration of his tender Regard for her. _Almona_, perceiving him enamour'd, begg'd his Interest in Favour of _Zadig_. Alas! my dear Charmer, my Interest alone, when you request the Favour, would be but a poor Compliment; I'll take care his Acquittance shall be signed by three more of my Brother Priests. Do you sign first, however, said _Almona_. With all my Soul, said the amorous Pontiff, provided----you'll be kind, my dearest. You do me too much Honour, said _Almona_; but should you give your self the Trouble to pay me a Visit after Sunset, and as soon as the Star _Sheat_ twinkles on the Horizon, you shall find me, most venerable Father, repos'd upon a rosy-colour'd silver Sopha, where you shall use your Pleasure with your humble Servant. With that she made him a low Courtesy; took up _Zadig's_ general Release as soon as duely sign'd, and left the old Doatard all over Love, tho' somewhat diffident of his own Abilities. The Residue of the Day he spent in his Bagnio; he drank large enlivening Draughts of a Water distill'd from the Cinnamon of _Ceilan_, and the costly Spices of _Tidor_ and _Ternate_, and waited with the utmost Impatience for the up-rising of the brilliant _Sheat_.

In the mean time _Almona_ went to the second Pontiff. He assur'd her that the Sun, Moon, and all the starry Host of Heav'n, were but languid Fires to her bright Eyes. He put the Question to her, in short, at once, and agreed to sign upon her Compliance. She suffer'd herself to be over-persuaded, and made an Assignation to meet him at a certain Place, as soon as the Star _Algenib_ should make its Appearance. From him she repair'd to the third and fourth Pontiff, taking care, wherever she went, to see _Zadig's_ Acquittance duely sign'd, and made fresh Appointments at the Rising of Star after Star.

When she had carried her Point thus far, she sent a proper Message to the Judges of the Court, who had condemn'd _Zadig_, requesting that they would come to her House, that she might advise with them upon an Affair of the last Importance. They waited on her accordingly; she produc'd _Zadig's_ Discharge duly sign'd by four several Hands, and told them the Definitive Treaty between all the contracting Parties. Each of the pontifical Gallants observ'd their Summons to a Moment. Each was startled at the Sight of his Rival; but perfectly thunderstruck to see the Judges, before whom the Widow had laid open her Case. _Zadig_ procur'd an absolute Pardon, and _Setoc_ was so charm'd with the artful Address of _Almona_, that he married her the next Day. _Zadig_ went afterwards to throw himself at the Feet of his fair Benefactress. _Setoc_ and he took their Leave of each other with Tears in their Eyes, and vowing that an eternal mutual Friendship should be preserv'd between them; and, in short, should Fortune at any Time afterwards prove more propitious than could well be expected to either Party; the other should partake of an equal Share of his Success.

_Zadig_ steer'd his Course towards _Syria_; forever pondering on the hard Fate of the justly-admir'd _Astarte_, and reflecting on his own Stars that so obstinately darted down their malignant Rays, and continu'd daily to torment him. What, said he! to pay four hundred Ounces of Gold for only seeing a Bitch pass by me; to be condemn'd to be beheaded for four witless Verses in Praise of the King; to be strangled to Death, because a Queen was pleas'd to look upon me; to be made a Prisoner, and sold as a Slave for saving a young Lady from being sorely abus'd by a Brute rather than a Man; and to be upon the Brink of being roasted alive, for no other Offence than saving for the future all the Widows in _Arabia_ from becoming idle Burnt-Offerings, and mingling their Ashes with those of their deceased worthless Husbands.

CHAP. XIII.

_The_ FREE-BOOTER.