CHAPTER VIII.
DR. VERB.
[Illustration: VERBS ARE OF 3 KINDS ACTIVE·PASSIVE & NEUTER--LINDLEY MURRAY]
The next Part-of-Speech called up before Judge Grammar, to give an account of himself, was Dr. Verb.
He came bustling up with an air of great importance.
“My lord, my name is Verb. I am called Verb because _verb_ means _word_, and the verb is the most important word, _the_ word, in fact, in every sentence.”
“The _most important word_!” cried Mr. Noun, interrupting him. “My lord, he says the verb is the most important word in every sentence! Why, Dr. Verb, you know that _you_ cannot give the name of a single thing, for all names are nouns, and belong to me. The _verb_ the most important word, indeed, when I have the name of everything!”
“I know that,” answered Dr. Verb, “I know very well that when people want to name a thing they must use a noun. But do you suppose that when they have simply named a thing they have made a sentence? Not a bit of it. To make a sentence you must tell something about the thing that you have named; you must say whether it _is_ or _has_ or _does_ anything, as: ‘Ice _is_ cold,’ ‘Puss _has_ a tail,’ ‘Blackbirds _sing_.’ _Is_, _has_, _sing_, are verbs, and so are all words that speak of _being_, _having_, or _doing_, and without some such word you cannot make a sentence.”
“You think so, Dr. Verb,” said the Judge, “but I should like it to be proved. Brother Parsing, just call some of the other Parts-of-Speech forward, and let them try to make a sentence without Dr. Verb.”
“I will, my lord,” answered Serjeant Parsing. “Noun, Adjective, and Article, be kind enough to step forward, and each of you give me a word.”
“_Sun_,” said Mr. Noun.
“_Bright_,” said Adjective.
“_The_,” said little Article.
“Very good,” said Serjeant Parsing, “now I will put them together; ‘_sun bright the_;’ ‘_the bright sun_;’ ‘_the sun bright_.’ They do not seem to make quite a proper sentence, my lord, any way.”
“Of course not,” said Dr. Verb, interrupting; “for when you say ‘_the bright sun_,’ which sounds the best of the three ways, you still have not made a sentence, for you have not said whether the bright sun is shining, or is not shining, or whether you can see it, or what it does. ‘_The sun bright_’ of course is nonsense; but say the sun _is_ bright, and then you tell a fact about the sun, and you have made a sentence fit to set before the king.”
“You had better try Mr. Noun again, Brother Parsing,” said Judge Grammar. “Perhaps he can give you a more convenient word.”
Serjeant Parsing turned again to Mr. Noun, and asked for another word.
“_Hippopotamus_,” answered Mr. Noun. Mr. Adjective gave _fat_.
“Now, little Article, give me _a_,” said Serjeant Parsing, “and I will put them together. ‘_Hippopotamus fat a_;’ ‘_a fat hippopotamus_;’ ‘_a hippopotamus fat_.’ H’m! it sounds odd.”
“‘_A fat hippopotamus_’ does not sound wrong,” put in Mr. Noun.
“Not wrong, of course,” answered Dr. Verb. “You may mention a fat hippopotamus, if you like, or any other animal, but unless you tell something about it you have not made a sentence. Say that it _is_, or _has_, or _did_ something, if you want to make a sentence; like ‘a fat hippopotamus is here;’ or ‘a hippopotamus has a fat body;’ or, ‘a hippopotamus ate me up,’ or, ‘swam away,’ or something of that sort. Then you will have some famous sentences, but you will have had to use verbs to make them, for _is_, _has_, _ate_, _swam_, are all verbs, for they are all words that speak of _being_, _having_, or _doing_.”
“How can we always find out if a word is a verb?” asked Serjeant Parsing.
“It is sure to be a verb if you can put a little _to_ before it,” answered Dr. Verb; “_to be_, _to have_, _to do_, _to eat_, _to drink_, _to swim_, _to fly_, _to speak_, _to think_, _to run_, _to dance_, _to play_, _to sing_, _to sleep_, _to wake_, _to laugh_, _to cry_, _to call_, _to fall_;” and Dr. Verb stopped, quite out of breath.
“That sounds very easy,” said Serjeant Parsing. “Let me try it with the words that you said were verbs; _to is_, _to has_, _to ate_, _to swam_.”
“Stop, stop,” cried Dr. Verb; “not like that. You must not put _to_ before any part of the verb you like. _Is_ is part of the verb _to be_, _has_ is part of the verb _to have_.”
“_Is_, part of the verb _to be_?” said Serjeant Parsing. “What do you mean? why, the two words have not a single letter alike.”
“True; but still they mean the same sort of thing. When a countryman says ‘he _be_ a brave lad,’ he means the same thing as ‘he _is_ a brave lad;’ or when he says, ‘I _be_ too tired,’ he means, ‘I _am_ too tired.’ _Is_ and _am_ ought to be used according to the laws of Grammar-land instead of _be_, but as they both express something about _being_ they are said to be parts of the verb _to be_. In the same way _has_ is part of the verb _to have_, _ate_ is part of the verb _to eat_, and _swam_ is part of the verb _to swim_.”
“That is very learned, I daresay,” said Serjeant Parsing, “but will you kindly tell us, Dr. Verb, how we are to guess that _am_, or any other word that has neither a _b_ nor an _e_ in it, is part of the verb _to be_?”
“You cannot _guess_, of course,” retorted Dr. Verb, sharply. “I never said you were to guess. You must use your reason, to find out whether they have the same sort of meaning. Or if you like it better, learn the song that Mr. Pronoun and I have made up, to bring in all the different parts of the verb.”
“A song?” said Judge Grammar, in surprise. “I did not know that you could sing, Dr. Verb; but let us hear your song, by all means.”
“If you will not interrupt me, my lord, I will give you three verses of it,” answered Dr. Verb.
“No, we will not interrupt,” said the Judge.
So Dr. Verb began:--
THE SONG OF THE VERB “TO BE.”
_Present Tense._
I am Thou art He is We are You are They are
_Past Tense._
I was Thou wast He was We were You were They were
_Future Tense._
I shall be Thou wilt be He will be We shall be You will be They will be
When he had finished, every one burst out laughing.
“And you call that singing, do you, Dr. Verb?” said the Judge.
“Dr. Syntax, there, calls it _conjugating_, I believe,” said Dr. Verb; “but I think _singing_ is a prettier and easier name for it.”
“But it is not a song at all,” said the Judge, nearly laughing again; “there is no tune in it, and no rhyme.”
“It is the best that Pronoun and I could make alone,” said Dr. Verb, angrily. “But it can be easily made to rhyme if the other Parts-of-Speech will help. Listen.
PRESENT TENSE.
_I am_ an Englishman merry and bold, _Thou art_ a foreigner out in the cold, _He is_ a beggar-man hungry and old; _We are_ not happy to see you out there, _You are_ too snug and warm ever to care, _They are_ at home with us now, I declare.”
“That will do,” interrupted the Judge; “we do not want to hear any more to-day. Another day I shall want to know what you mean by calling the verses _Present Tense_, _Past Tense_, and _Future Tense_--why you have just six of your words in each tense,--and whether other verbs can be _conjugated_ in the same way.”
“I can answer at once that they can, my lord,” said Dr. Verb. “Indeed, very few verbs change as much as the verb _to be_, so that they are all easier to _conjugate_; as, _I have_, _thou hast_, _he has_; _we have_, _you have_, _they have_. _I live_, _thou livest_, _he lives_; _we live_, _you live_, _they live_.”
“Enough for to-day, Dr. Verb,” interrupted the Judge once more; “we will hear about them next time. Meanwhile, as we shall have further examination of this verb _to be_, I should like my friends in Schoolroom-shire to make a copy of it, to bring with them. I shall also request them to find out all the verbs in the following verses:--
“Sit to your task,” a father said, “Nor play nor trifle, laugh nor talk, And when your lesson well is read, You all shall have a pleasant walk.” He left the room, the boys sat still, Each gravely bent upon his task, But soon the youngest, little Will, Of fun and nonsense chose to ask. “My ball is lost,” the prattler cried, “Have either of you seen my ball?” “Pray mind your book,” young Charles replied. “Your noisy words disturb us all.”
The court then rose.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]