part I
’ll use my endeavors.
CHAR. But if that can not be, or if this marriage is agreeable to you--
PAM. Agreeable to me?
CHAR. Put it off for some days at least, while I go elsewhere, that I may not be witness.
PAM. Now listen, once for all: I think it, Charinus, to be by no means the part of an ingenuous man, when he confers nothing, to expect that it should be considered as an obligation on his part. I am more desirous to avoid this match, than you to gain it.
CHAR. You have restored me to life.
PAM. Now, if you can do any thing, either you yourself, or Byrrhia here, manage, fabricate, invent, contrive {some means}, whereby she may be given to you; this I shall aim at, how she may not be given to me.
CHAR. I am satisfied.
PAM. Most opportunely I perceive Davus, on whose advice I have depended.
CHAR. (_turning to BYRRHIA._) But you, i’faith, {tell} me nothing,[50] except those things which there is no need for knowing. (_Pushing him away._) Get you gone from here.
BYR. Certainly I {will}, and with all my heart. (_Exit._
SCENE III.
_Enter DAVUS in haste._
DAV. (_not seeing PAMPHILUS and CHARINUS._) Ye gracious Gods, what good news I bring! But where shall I find Pamphilus, that I may remove the apprehension in which he now is, and fill his mind with joy--?
CHAR. (_apart to PAMPHILUS._) He’s rejoiced about something, I don’t know what.
PAM. (_apart._) It’s of no consequence; he hasn’t yet heard of these misfortunes.
DAV. (_to himself._) For I do believe now, if he has already heard that a marriage is prepared for him--
CHAR. (_apart._) Don’t you hear him?
DAV. (_to himself._) He is seeking me distractedly all the city over. But where shall I look for him? Or in which direction now first to betake me--
CHAR. (_apart to PAMPHILUS._) Do you hesitate to accost him?
DAV. (_to himself._) I have it. (_Moving on._)
PAM. Davus, come here! Stop!
DAV. Who’s the person that’s-- (_Turning round._) O Pamphilus, you are the very man I’m looking for. Well done, Charinus! both in the nick of time: I want you {both}.
CHAR. Davus, I’m undone!
DAV. Nay but, do hear this.
PAM. I’m utterly ruined!
DAV. I know what you are afraid of.
CHAR. I’faith, my life indeed is really in danger.
DAV. (_to CHARINUS._) And what you {are afraid of}, I know.
PAM. My marriage--
DAV. As if I did not know it?
PAM. This day--
DAV. Why keep dinning me {with it}, when I know it all? (_To PAMPHILUS._) This are you afraid of, lest you should marry her; and you (_to CHARINUS,_) lest you should not marry her.
CHAR. You understand the matter.
PAM. That’s the very thing.
DAV. And that very thing is in no danger; trust me for that.
PAM. I do entreat you, release wretched me as soon as possible from this apprehension.
DAV. Well, then, I will release you; Chremes is not going to give you his daughter at present.
PAM. How do you know?
DAV. You shall know. Your father just now laid hold of me; he said that a wife was to be given you to-day, and many other things as well, which just now I haven’t time to relate. Hastening to you immediately, I ran on to the Forum that I might tell you these things. When I didn’t find you, I ascended there to a high place.[51] I looked around; you were nowhere. There by chance I saw Byrrhia, his {servant} (_pointing to CHARINUS_). I inquired of him; he said he hadn’t seen you. This puzzled me. I considered what I was to do. As I was returning in the mean time, a surmise from the circumstances themselves occurred to me: “How now,-- a very small amount of good cheer; he out of spirits; a marriage all of a sudden; {these things} don’t agree.”
PAM. But to what purpose this?
DAV. I forthwith {betook} myself to the house of Chremes. When I arrived there-- stillness before the door;[52] then I was pleased at that.
CHAR. You say well.
PAM. Proceed.
DAV. I stopped {there}. In the mean time I saw no one going in, no one going out; no matron at the house,[53] no preparation, no bustle. I drew near; looked in--
PAM. I understand; a considerable indication.
DAV. Do these things seem to accord with a wedding?
PAM. I think not, Davus.
DAV. Think, do you say? You don’t view it rightly; the thing is certain. Besides, coming away from there I saw the servant-boy of Chremes carrying some vegetables and little fishes, an obol’s worth,[54] for the old man’s dinner.
CHAR. This day, Davus, have I been delivered by your means.
DAV. And yet not at all.
CHAR. Why so? Surely he will not give her to him, after all this. (_Pointing to PAMPHILUS._)
DAV. You silly fellow! as though it were a necessary consequence that if he doesn’t give her to him you should marry her: unless, {indeed}, you look about you; unless you entreat {and} make court to the old man’s friends.
CHAR. You advise well. I’ll go; although, upon my faith, this hope has often eluded me already. Farewell! (_Exit._
SCENE IV.
_PAMPHILUS and DAVUS._
PAM. What then does my father mean? Why does he {thus} make pretense?
DAV. I’ll tell you. If now he were angry {with you}, because Chremes will not give you a wife, he would seem to himself to be unjust, and that not without reason, before he has ascertained your feelings as to the marriage, how they are disposed. But if you refuse to marry her, in that case he will transfer the blame to you; then such disturbances will arise.
PAM. I will submit to any thing {from him}.
DAV. He is your father, Pamphilus. It is a difficult matter. Besides, this woman is defenseless. No sooner said than done; he will find some pretext for driving her away from the city.
PAM. Driving her away?
DAV. {Aye}, and quickly too.
PAM. Tell me then, Davus, what am I to do?
DAV. Say that you will marry her.
PAM. (_starting._) Ha!
DAV. What’s the matter?
PAM. What, am I to say so?
DAV. Why not?
PAM. Never will I do it.
DAV. Don’t say so.
PAM. Don’t attempt to persuade me.
DAV. Consider what will be the result of it.
PAM. That I shall be deprived of the one, {and} fixed with the other.
DAV. Not so. In fact, I think it will be thus: Your father will say: “I wish you to marry a wife to-day.” You reply: “I’ll marry her.” Tell me, how can he raise a quarrel with you? Thus you will cause all the plans which are now arranged by him to be disarranged, without any danger; for this is not to be doubted, that Chremes will not give you his daughter. Therefore do not hesitate in those measures which you are taking, on this account, lest he should change his sentiments. Tell your father that you consent; so that although he may desire it, he may not be able to be angry at you with reason. For that which you rely on, I will easily refute; “No one,” {you think}, “will give a wife to {a person of} these habits.” But he will find a beggar for you, rather than allow you to be corrupted {by a mistress}. If, however, he shall believe that you bear it with a contented mind, you will render him indifferent; at his leisure he will look out for another {wife for you}; in the mean time something lucky may turn up.
PAM. Do you think so?
DAV. It really is not a matter of doubt.
PAM. Consider to what you are persuading me.
DAV. Nay, but do be quiet.
PAM. Well, I’ll say it; but, that he mayn’t come to know that she has had a child by me, is a thing to be guarded against; for I have promised to bring it up.
DAV. Oh, piece of effrontery.
PAM. She entreated me that I would give her this pledge, by which she might be sure she should not be deserted.
DAV. It shall be attended to; but your father’s coming. Take care that he doesn’t perceive that you are out of spirits.
SCENE V.
_Enter SIMO, at a distance._
SIM. (_apart to himself._) I’ve come back to see what they are about, or what scheme they are hatching.
DAV. (_to PAMPHILUS._) He has no doubt at present but that you’ll refuse to marry. Having considered his course, he’s come from a retired spot somewhere or other; he hopes that he has framed a speech by which to disconcert you; do you take care, then, to be yourself.
PAM. If I am only able, Davus.
DAV. Trust me for that, Pamphilus, I tell you; your father will never this day exchange a single word with you, if you say that you will marry.
SCENE VI.
_Enter BYRRHIA, unperceived, at a distance behind SIMO._
BYR. (_apart to himself._) My master has ordered me, leaving my business, to keep an eye on Pamphilus to-day, what he is doing with regard to the marriage. I was to learn it; for that reason, I have now followed him[55] (_pointing to SIMO_) as he came {hither}. Himself, as well, I see standing with Davus close at hand; I’ll note this.
SIM. (_apart to himself._) I see that both of them are here.
DAV. (_in a low voice to PAMPHILUS._) Now then, be on your guard.
SIM. Pamphilus!
DAV. (_in a low voice._) Look round at him as though taken unawares.
PAM. (_turning round sharply._) What, my father!
DAV. (_in a low voice._) Capital!
SIM. I wish you to marry a wife to-day, as I was saying.
BYR. (_apart._) Now I’m in dread for our side, as to what he will answer.
PAM. Neither in that nor in any thing else shall you ever find any hesitation in me.
BYR. (_apart._) Hah!
DAV. (_in a low voice to PAMPHILUS._) He is struck dumb.
BYR. (_apart._) What a speech!
SIM. You act as becomes you, when that which I ask I obtain with {a good} grace.
DAV. (_aside to PAMPHILUS._) Am I right?
BYR. My master, so far as I learn, has missed his wife.
SIM. Now, then, go in-doors, that you mayn’t be causing delay when you are wanted.
PAM. I’ll go. (_Goes into the house._)
BYR. (_apart._) Is there, in no case, putting trust in any man? That is a true proverb which is wont to be commonly quoted, that “all had rather it to be well for themselves than for another.” I remember noticing, when I saw her, {that she was} a young woman of handsome figure; wherefore I am the more {disposed to excuse} Pamphilus, if he has preferred that he himself, rather than the other, should embrace her in his slumbers. I’ll carry back these tidings, that, in return for this evil he may inflict evil upon me.[56] (_Exit._
SCENE VII.
_SIMO and DAVUS._
DAV. (_aside, coming away from the door of the house._) He now supposes that I’m bringing some trick to bear against him, and that on that account I’ve remained here.
SIM. What does he say, Davus?[57]
DAV. Just as much as nothing.[58]
SIM. What, nothing? Eh?
DAV. Nothing at all.
SIM. And yet I certainly was expecting something.
DAV. It has turned out contrary to your expectations. (_Aside._) I perceive it; this vexes the man.
SIM. Are you able to tell me the truth?
DAV. I? Nothing more easy.
SIM. Is this marriage at all disagreeable to him, on account of his intimacy with this foreign woman?
DAV. No, faith; or if at all, it is a two or three days’ annoyance this-- you understand. It will then cease. Moreover, he himself has thought over this matter in a proper way.
SIM. I commend him.
DAV. While it was allowed him, and while his years prompted him, he intrigued; {even} then it {was} secretly. He took precaution that that circumstance should never be a cause of disgrace to him, as behooves a man of principle; now that he must have a wife, he has set his mind upon a wife.
SIM. He seemed to me to be somewhat melancholy in a slight degree.
DAV. Not at all on account of her, but there’s something he blames you for.
SIM. What is it, pray?
DAV. It’s a childish thing.
SIM. What is it?
DAV. Nothing at all.
SIM. Nay but, tell me what it is.
DAV. He says that you are making too sparing preparations.
SIM. What, I?
DAV. You. --He says that there has hardly been fare provided to the amount of ten drachmæ.[59] --“Does he seem to be bestowing a wife on his son? Which one now, in preference, of my companions shall I invite to the dinner?” And, it must be owned, you really {are providing} too parsimoniously-- I do not commend you.
SIM. Hold your tongue.
DAV. (_aside._) I’ve touched him up.
SIM. I’ll see that these things are properly done. (_DAVUS goes into the house._) What’s the meaning of this? What does this old rogue mean? But if there’s any knavery here, why, he’s sure to be the source of the mischief. (_Goes into his house._)
ACT THE THIRD.
SCENE I.
_Enter SIMO and DAVUS from the house of the former. MYSIS and LESBIA are coming toward the house of GLYCERIUM._
MYS. (_not seeing SIMO and DAVUS._) Upon my faith, the fact is really as you mentioned, Lesbia, you can hardly find a man constant to a woman.
SIM. (_apart to DAVUS._) This maid-servant comes from the Andrian.
DAV. (_apart to SIMO._) What do you say?
SIM. (_apart to DAVUS._) It is so.
MYS. But this Pamphilas----
SIM. (_apart to DAVUS._) What is she saying?
MYS. Has proved his constancy.
SIM. (_apart._) Hah!
DAV. (_apart to himself._) I wish that either he were deaf, or she struck dumb.
MYS. For the child she brings forth, he has ordered to be brought up.
SIM. (_apart._) O Jupiter! What do I hear! It’s all over, if indeed this woman speaks the truth.
LES. You mention a good disposition on the part of the young man.
MYS. A most excellent one. But follow me in-doors, that you mayn’t keep her waiting.
LES. I’ll follow. (_MYSIS and LESBIA go into GLYCERIUM’S house._)
SCENE II.
_SIMO and DAVUS._
DAV. (_aside._) What remedy now shall I find for this mishap?
SIM. (_to himself aloud._) What does this mean? Is he so infatuated? {The child} of a foreign woman? Now I understand; ah! scarcely even at last, in my stupidity, have I found it out.
DAV. (_aside to himself._) What does he say he has found out?
SIM. (_aside._) This piece of knavery is being now for the first time palmed upon me by this fellow; they are pretending that she’s in labor, in order that they may alarm Chremes.
GLY. (_exclaiming from within her house._) Juno Lucina,[60] grant me thine aid, save me, I do entreat thee!
SIM. Whew! so sudden? What nonsense! As soon as she has heard that I’m standing before the door, she makes all haste. These {incidents}, Davus, have not been quite happily adapted by you as to the points of time.
DAV. By me?
SIM. Are your scholars forgetful?[61]
DAV. I don’t know what you are talking about.
SIM. (_aside._) If he at the real marriage {of my son} had taken me off my guard, what sport he would have made of me. Now it is at his own risk; I’m sailing in harbor.
SCENE III.
_Re-enter LESBIA from the house of GLYCERIUM._
LES. (_speaking to ARCHYLIS at the door, and not seeing SIMO and DAVUS._) As yet, Archylis, all the customary symptoms which ought to exist toward recovery, I perceive in her. Now, in the first place, take care and let her bathe;[62] then, after that, what I ordered to be given her to drink, and as much as I prescribed, do you administer: presently I will return hither. (_To herself aloud._) By all that’s holy, a fine boy has been born to Pamphilus. I pray the Gods that he may survive, since {the father} himself is of a good disposition, and since he has hesitated to do an injustice to this most excellent young woman. (_Exit._
SCENE IV.
_SIMO and DAVUS._
SIM. Even this, who is there that knows you that would not believe that it originated in you?
DAV. Why, what is this?
SIM. She didn’t order in their presence what was requisite to be done for the woman lying in; but after she has come out, she bawls from the street to those who are in the house. O Davus, am I thus trifled with by you? Or pray, do I seem to you so very well suited to be thus openly imposed upon by your tricks? At all events {it should have been} with precaution; that at least I might have seemed to be feared if I should detect it.
DAV. (_aside._) Assuredly, upon my faith, it’s he that’s now {deceiving} himself, not I.
SIM. I gave you warning, I forbade you with threats to do it. Have you been awed? What has it availed? Am I to believe you now in this, that this woman has had a child by Pamphilus?
DAV. (_aside._) I understand where he’s mistaken; and I see what I must do.
SIM. Why are you silent?
DAV. What would you believe? As though word had not been brought you that thus it would happen.
SIM. Any {word brought} to me?
DAV. Come now, did you of your own accord perceive that this was counterfeited?
SIM. I am being trifled with.
DAV. Word has been brought you; for {otherwise} how could this suspicion have occurred to you?
SIM. How? Because I knew you.
DAV. As though you meant to say that this has been done by my contrivance.
SIM. Why, I’m sure of it, to a certainty.
DAV. Not yet even do you know me sufficiently, Simo, what sort of person I am.
SIM. I, not {know} you!
DAV. But if I begin to tell {you} any thing, at once you think that deceit is being practiced upon you in guile; therefore, upon my faith, I don’t dare now {even} to whisper.
SIM. This one thing I am sure of, that no person has been delivered here. (_Pointing to GLYCERIUM’S house._)
DAV. You have discovered {that}? Still, not a bit the less will they presently be laying the child[63] here before the door. Of this, then, I now warn you, master, that it will happen, that you may be aware of it. Don’t you hereafter be saying that this was done through the advice or artifices of Davus. I wish this suspicion of yours to be entirely removed from myself.
SIM. How do you know that?
DAV. I’ve heard so, and I believe it: many things combine for me to form this conjecture. In the first place then, she declared that she was pregnant by Pamphilus; that has been proved to be false.[64] Now, when she sees that preparations are being made for the wedding at our house, the maid-servant is directly sent to fetch the midwife to her, and to bring a child at the same time.[65] Unless it is managed for you to see the child, the marriage will not be at all impeded.
SIM. What do you say {to this}? When you perceived that they were adopting this plan, why didn’t you tell Pamphilus immediately?
DAV. Why, who has induced him to leave her, but myself? For, indeed, we all know how desperately he loved her. Now he wishes for a wife. In fine, do you intrust me with that affair; proceed however, as before, to celebrate these nuptials, just as you are doing, and I trust that the Gods will prosper this matter.
SIM. Very well; be off in-doors; wait for me there, and get ready what’s necessary to be prepared. (_DAVUS goes into the house._) He hasn’t prevailed upon me {even} now altogether to believe these things, and I don’t know whether what he has said is all true; but I deem it of little moment; this is of far greater importance to me-- that my son himself has promised me. Now I’ll go and find Chremes; I’ll ask him for a wife for my son; if I obtain my request, at what other time rather than to-day should I prefer these nuptials taking place? For as my son has promised, I have no doubt but that if he should prove unwilling, I can fairly compel him. And look! here’s Chremes himself, just at the very time.
SCENE V.
_Enter CHREMES._
SIM. I greet you, Chremes.
CHREM. O, you are the very person I was looking for.
SIM. And I for you.
CHREM. You meet me at a welcome moment. Some persons have been to me, to say that they had heard from you, that my daughter was to be married to your son to-day; I’ve come to see whether they are out of their senses or you.
SIM. Listen; in a few words you shall learn both what I want of you, and what you seek {to know}.
CHREM. I am listening; say what you wish.
SIM. By the Gods, I do entreat you, Chremes, and {by} our friendship, which, commencing with our infancy, has grown up with our years, and by your only daughter and by my own son (of preserving whom the entire power lies with you), that you will assist me in this matter; and that, just as this marriage was about to be celebrated, it may be celebrated.
CHREM. O, don’t importune me; as though you needed to obtain this of me by entreaty. Do you suppose I am different now from what I was formerly, when I promised her? If it is for the advantage of them both that it should take place, order her to be sent for. But if from this course there would result more harm than advantage for each, this I do beg of you, that you will consult for their common good, as though she were your own {daughter}, and I the father of Pamphilus.
SIM. Nay, so I intend, and so I wish it to be, Chremes; and I would not ask it of you, did not the occasion itself require it.
CHREM. What is the matter?
SIM. There is a quarrel between Glycerium and my son.
CHREM. (_ironically_) I hear {you}.
SIM. So much so, that I’m in hopes they may be separated.
CHREM. Nonsense!
SIM. It really is so.
CHREM. After this fashion, i’faith, I tell you, “the quarrels of lovers {are} the renewal of love.”
SIM. Well-- this I beg of you, that we may prevent it. While an opportunity offers, and while his passion is cooled by affronts, before the wiles of these women and their tears, craftily feigned, bring back his love-sick mind to compassion, let us give him a wife. I trust, Chremes, that, when attached by intimacy and a respectable marriage, he will easily extricate himself from these evils.
CHREM. So it appears to you; but I do not think[66] that either he can possibly hold to her with constancy, or that I can put up with it if he does not.
SIM. How then can you be sure of that, unless you make the experiment?
CHREM. But for that experiment to be made upon a daughter is a serious thing----
SIM. Why look, all the inconvenience in fine amounts to this-- possibly, which may the Gods forfend, a separation may take place. But if he is reformed, see how many are the advantages: in the first place, you will have restored a son to your friend; you will obtain a sure son-in-law[67] for yourself, and a husband for your daughter.
CHREM. What is {one to say} to all this? If you feel persuaded that this is beneficial, I don’t wish that any advantage should be denied you.
SIM. With good reason, Chremes, have I always considered you a most valuable friend.
CHREM. But how say you----?
SIM. What?
CHREM. How do you know that they are now at variance?
SIM. Davus himself, who is privy to {all} their plans, has told me so; and he advises me to expedite the match as fast as I can. Do you think he would do so, unless he was aware that my son desired it? You yourself as well shall presently hear what he says. (_Goes to the door of his house and calls._) Halloo there! Call Davus out here. Look, here he is; I see him just coming out.
SCENE VI.
_Enter DAVUS from the house._
DAV. I was coming to you.
SIM. Why, what’s the matter?
DAV. Why isn’t the bride sent for?[68] It’s now growing late in the day.
SIM. Do you hear me? I’ve been for some time not a little apprehensive of you, Davus, lest you should do that which the common class of servants is in the habit of doing, namely, impose upon me by your artifices; because my son is engaged in an amour.
DAV. What, I do that?
SIM. I fancied {so}; and therefore, fearing that, I concealed from you what I shall now mention.
DAV. What?
SIM. You shall know; for now I almost feel confidence in you.
DAV. Have you found out at last what sort of a person I am?
SIM. The marriage was not to have taken place.
DAV. How? Not {to have taken place}?
SIM. But I was making pretense, that I might test you {all}.
DAV. (_affecting surprise._) What is it you tell me?
SIM. Such is the fact.
DAV. {Only} see! I was not able to discover that. Dear me! what a cunning contrivance!
SIM. Listen to this. Just as I ordered you to go from here into the house, he (_pointing to CHREMES_) most opportunely met me.
DAV. (_aside._) Ha! Are we undone, then?
SIM. I told him what you just now told me.
DAV. (_aside._) Why, what am I to hear?
SIM. I begged him to give his daughter, and with difficulty I prevailed upon him.
DAV. (_aside._) Utterly ruined!
SIM. (_overhearing him speaking._) Eh-- What was it you said?
DAV. Extremely well done, I say.
SIM. There’s no delay on his part now.
CHREM. I’ll go home at once; I’ll tell her to make due preparation, and bring back word here. (_Exit._
SIM. Now I do entreat you, Davus, since you by yourself have brought about this marriage for me----
DAV. I myself, indeed![69]
SIM. Do your best still to reform my son.
DAV. Troth, I’ll do it with all due care.
SIM. Do it now, while his mind is agitated.
DAV. You may be at ease.
SIM. Come then; where is he just now?
DAV. A wonder if he isn’t at home.
SIM. I’ll go to him; and what I’ve been telling you, I’ll tell him as well. (_Goes into his house._)
SCENE VII.
_DAVUS alone._
DAV. (_to himself._) I’m a lost man! What reason is there why I shouldn’t take my departure straightway hence for the mill? There’s no room left for supplicating; I’ve upset every thing now; I’ve deceived my master; I’ve plunged my master’s son into a marriage; I’ve been the cause of its taking place this very day, without his hoping for it, and against the wish of Pamphilus. Here’s cleverness {for you}! But, if I had kept myself quiet, no mischief would have happened. (_Starting._) But see, I espy him; I’m utterly undone! Would that there were some spot here for me, from which I might this instant pitch myself headlong! (_Stands apart._)
SCENE VIII.
_Enter PAMPHILUS in haste from SIMO’S house._
PAM. Where is he? The villain, who this day-- I’m ruined; and I confess that this has justly befallen me, for being such a dolt, so devoid of sense; that I should have intrusted my fortunes to a frivolous slave![70] I am suffering the reward of my folly; still he shall never get off from me unpunished for this.
DAV. (_apart._) I’m quite sure that I shall be safe in future, if for the present I get clear of this mishap.
PAM. But what now am I to say to my father? Am I to deny that I am ready, who have just promised to marry? With what effrontery could I presume {to do} that? I know not what to do with myself.
DAV. (_apart._) Nor I with myself, and {yet} I’m giving all due attention to it. I’ll tell him that I will devise something, in order that I may procure some respite in this dilemma.
PAM. (_Catching sight of him._) Oho!
DAV. (_apart._) I’m seen.
PAM. (_sneeringly._) How now, good sir, what are you about? Do you see how dreadfully I am hampered by your devices?
DAV. Still, I’ll soon extricate you.
PAM. You, extricate {me}?
DAV. Assuredly, Pamphilus.
PAM. As you {have} just {done}, I suppose.
DAV. Why no, better, I trust.
PAM. What, am I to believe you, you scoundrel?[71] You, indeed, make good a matter that’s all embarrassment and ruin! Just see, in whom I’ve been placing reliance-- you who this day from a most happy state have been and plunged me into a marriage. Didn’t I say that this would be the case?
DAV. You did say {so}.
PAM. What do you deserve?[72]
DAV. The cross.[73] But allow me a little time to recover myself; I’ll soon hit upon something.
PAM. Ah me! not to have the leisure to inflict punishment upon you as I desire! for the present conjuncture warns me to take precautions for myself, not to be taking vengeance on you. (_Exeunt._
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.
_Enter CHARINUS, wringing his hands._
CHAR. (_to himself._) Is this to be believed or spoken of; that malice so great could be inborn in any one as to exult at misfortunes, and to derive advantage from the distresses of another! Oh, is this true? Assuredly, that is the most dangerous class of men, in whom there is only a slight degree of hesitation at refusing; afterward, when the time arrives for fulfilling their promises, then, obliged, of necessity they discover themselves. They are afraid, and yet the circumstances[74] compel them to refuse. Then, in that case, their very insolent remark is, “Who are you? What are you to me? What {should I give up} to you what’s my own? Look you, I am the most concerned in my own interests.”[75] But if you inquire where is honor, they are not ashamed.[76] Here, where there is occasion, they are not afraid; there, where there is no occasion, they are afraid. But what am I to do? Ought I not to go to him, and reason with him upon this outrage, and heap many an invective upon {him}? Yet some one may say, “you will avail nothing.” Nothing? At least I shall have vexed him, and have given vent to my own feelings.
SCENE II.
_Enter PAMPHILUS and DAVUS._
PAM. Charinus, unintentionally I have ruined both myself and you, unless the Gods in some way befriend us.
CHAR. Unintentionally, is it! An excuse has been discovered at last. You have broken your word.
PAM. How so, pray?
CHAR. Do you expect to deceive me a second time by these speeches?
PAM. What does this mean?
CHAR. Since I told you that I loved her, she has become quite pleasing to you. Ah wretched me! to have judged of your disposition from my own.
PAM. You are mistaken.
CHAR. Did this pleasure appear to you not to be quite complete, unless you tantalized me in my passion, and lured me on by groundless hopes? --You may take her.
PAM. I, take her? Alas! you know not in what perplexities, to my sorrow, I am involved, and what vast anxieties this executioner of mine (_pointing to DAVUS_) has contrived for me by his devices.
CHAR. What is it so wonderful, if he takes example from yourself?
PAM. You would not say that if you understood either myself or my affection.
CHAR. I’m quite aware (_ironically_); you have just now had a dispute with your father, and he is now angry with you in consequence, and has not been able to-day to prevail upon you to marry her.
PAM. No, not at all,-- as you are not acquainted with my sorrows, these nuptials were not in preparation for me; and no one was thinking at present of giving {me} a wife.
CHAR. I am aware; you have been influenced by your own inclination.
PAM. Hold; you do not yet know {all}.
CHAR. For my part, I certainly do know that you are about to marry her.
PAM. Why are you torturing me to death? Listen to this. He (_pointing to DAVUS_) never ceased to urge me to tell my father that I would marry her; to advise and persuade me, even until he compelled me.
CHAR. Who was this person?
PAM. Davus.
CHAR. Davus! For what reason?
PAM. I don’t know; except that I must have been under the displeasure of the Gods, for me to have listened to him.
CHAR. Is this the fact, Davus?
DAV. It is the fact.
CHAR. (_starting._) Ha! What do you say, {you} villain? Then may the Gods send you an end worthy of your deeds. Come now, tell me, if all his enemies had wished him to be plunged into a marriage, what advice but this could they have given?
DAV. I have been deceived, but I don’t despair.
CHAR. (_ironically._) I’m sure of that.
DAV. This way it has not succeeded; we’ll try another. Unless, perhaps, you think that because it failed at first, this misfortune can not now possibly be changed for better luck.
PAM. Certainly not; for I quite believe that if you set about it, you will be making two marriages for me out of one.
DAV. I owe you this, Pamphilus, in respect of my servitude, to strive with hands {and} feet, night and day; to submit to hazard of my life, to serve you. It is your part, if any thing has fallen out contrary to expectation, to forgive me. What I was contriving has not succeeded; still, I am using all endeavors; or, do you yourself devise something better, {and} dismiss me.
PAM. I wish to; restore me to the position in which you found me.
DAV. I’ll do {so}.
PAM. But it must be done directly.
DAV. But the door of Glycerium’s house here makes a noise.[77]
PAM. {That’s} nothing to you.
DAV. (_assuming an attitude of meditation._) I’m in search of--
PAM. (_ironically._) Dear me, what, now at last?
DAV. Presently I’ll give you what I’ve hit upon.
SCENE III.
_Enter MYSIS from the house of GLYCERIUM._
MYS. (_calling at the door to GLYCERIUM within._) Now, wherever he is, I’ll take care that your own Pamphilus shall be found for you, and brought to you by me; do you only, my life, cease to vex yourself.
PAM. Mysis.
MYS. (_turning round._) Who is it? Why, Pamphilus, you do present yourself opportunely to me. My mistress charged me to beg of you, if you love her, to come to her directly; she says she wishes to see you.
PAM. (_aside._) Alas! I am undone; this dilemma grows apace! (_To DAVUS._) For me and her, unfortunate persons, now to be tortured this way through your means; for I am sent for, because she has discovered that my marriage is in preparation.
CHAR. From which, indeed, how easily a respite could have been obtained, if he (_pointing to DAVUS_) had kept himself quiet.
DAV. (_ironically to CHARINUS._) Do proceed; if he isn’t sufficiently angry of his own accord, do you irritate him.
MYS. (_to PAMPHILUS._) Aye faith, that is the case; and for that reason, poor thing, she is now in distress.
PAM. Mysis, I swear by all the Gods that I will never forsake her; not if I were to know that all men would be my enemies in consequence. Her have I chosen for mine; she has fallen to my lot; our feelings are congenial; farewell they, who wish for a separation between us; nothing but Death separates her from me.
MYS. I begin to revive.
PAM. Not the responses of Apollo are more true than this. If it can possibly be contrived that my father may not believe that this marriage has been broken off through me, I could wish it. But if that can not be, I will do that which is easily effected, for him to believe that through me it has been caused. What do you think of me?
CHAR. That you are as unhappy as myself.
DAV. (_placing his finger on his forehead._) I’m contriving an expedient.
CHAR. You are a clever hand; if you do set about any thing.
DAV. Assuredly, I’ll manage this for you.
PAM. There’s need of it now.
DAV. But I’ve got it now.
CHAR. What is it?
DAV. For him (_pointing to PAMPHILUS_) I’ve got it, not for you, don’t mistake.
CHAR. I’m {quite} satisfied.
PAM. What will you do? Tell me.
DAV. I’m afraid that this day won’t be long enough for me to execute it, so don’t suppose that I’ve now got leisure for relating it; do you betake yourself off at once, for you are a hinderance to me.
PAM. I’ll go and see her. (_Goes into the house of GLYCERIUM._)
DAV. (_to CHARINUS._) What {are} you {going to do}? Whither are you going from here?
CHAR. Do you wish me to tell you the truth?
DAV. No, not at all; (_aside_) he’s making the beginning of a {long} story for me.
CHAR. What will become of me?
DAV. Come now, you unreasonable person, are you not satisfied that I give you a little respite, by putting off his marriage?
CHAR. But yet, Davus--
DAV. What then?
CHAR. That I may marry her--
DAV. Absurd.
CHAR. Be sure to come hither (_pointing in the direction of his house_) to my house, if you can {effect} any thing.
DAV. Why should I come? I can do nothing {for you}.
CHAR. But still, if any thing--
DAV. Well, well, I’ll come.
CHAR. If you can; I shall be at home. (_Exit._
SCENE IV.
_MYSIS and DAVUS._
DAV. Do you, Mysis, remain here a little while, until I come out.
MYS. For what reason?
DAV. There’s a necessity for so doing.
MYS. Make haste.
DAV. I’ll be here this moment, I tell you. (_He goes into the house of GLYCERIUM._)
SCENE V.
_MYSIS alone._
MYS. (_to herself._) That nothing can be secure to any one! Ye Gods, by our trust in you! I used to make sure that this Pamphilus was a supreme blessing for my mistress; a friend, a protector, a husband secured under every circumstance; yet what anguish is she, poor thing, now suffering through him? Clearly there’s more trouble {for her} now than {there was} happiness formerly. But Davus is coming out.
SCENE VI.
_Enter DAVUS from the house of GLYCERIUM with the child._
MYS. My {good} sir, prithee, what is that? Whither are you carrying the child?
DAV. Mysis, I now stand in need of your cunning being brought into play in this matter, and of your address.
MYS. Why, what are you going to do?
DAV. (_holding out the child._) Take it from me directly, and lay it down before our door.
MYS. Prithee, on the ground?
DAV. (_pointing._) Take some sacred herbs[78] from the altar here,[79] and strew them under it.
MYS. Why don’t you do it yourself?
DAV. That if perchance I should have to swear to my master that I did not place it there, I may be enabled to do so with a clear conscience.
MYS. I understand; have these new scruples only just now occurred to you, pray?
DAV. Bestir yourself quickly, that you may learn what I’m going to do next. (_MYSIS lays the child at SIMO’S door._) Oh Jupiter!
MYS. (_starting up._) What’s the matter?
DAV. The father of the {intended} bride is coming in the middle of it {all}. The plan which I had first purposed I {now} give up.[80]
MYS. I don’t understand what you are talking about.
DAV. I’ll pretend too that I’ve come in this direction from the right. Do you take care to help out the conversation by your words, whenever there’s necessity.[81]
MYS. I don’t at all comprehend what you are about; but if there’s any thing in which you have need of my assistance, as you understand the best, I’ll stay, that I mayn’t in any way impede your success. (_DAVUS retires out of sight._)
SCENE VII.
_Enter CHREMES on the other side of the stage, going toward the house of SIMO._
CHREM. (_to himself._) After having provided the things necessary for my daughter’s nuptials, I’m returning, that I may request her to be sent for. (_Seeing the child._) But what’s this? I’faith, it’s a child. (_Addressing MYSIS._) Woman, have you laid that here (_pointing to the child_)?
MYS. (_aside, looking out for DAVUS._) Where is he?
CHREM. Don’t you answer me?
MYS. (_looking about, to herself._) He isn’t any where to be seen. Woe to wretched me! the fellow has left me and is off.
DAV. (_coming forward and pretending not to see them._) Ye Gods, by our trust in you! what a crowd there is in the Forum! What a lot of people are squabbling there! (_Aloud._) Then provisions are {so} dear. (_Aside._) What to say besides, I don’t know. (_CHREMES passes by MYSIS, and goes to a distance at the back of the stage._)
MYS. Pray, why did you leave me here alone?
DAV. (_pretending to start on seeing the child._) Ha! what story is this? How now, Mysis, whence comes this child? Who has brought it here?
MYS. Are you quite right in your senses, to be asking me that?
DAV. Whom, then, ought I to ask, as I don’t see any one else here?
CHREM. (_apart to himself._) I wonder whence it has come.
DAV. Are you going to tell me what I ask?
MYS. Pshaw!
DAV. (_in a whisper._) Step aside to the right. (_They retire on one side._)
MYS. You are out of your senses; didn’t you your own self?
DAV. (_in a low voice._) Take you care not to utter a single word beyond what I ask you. Why don’t you say aloud whence it comes?
MYS. (_in a loud voice._) From our house.
DAV. (_affecting indignation._) Heyday, indeed! it really is a wonder if a woman, who is a courtesan, acts impudently.
CHREM. (_apart._) So far as I can learn, this woman belongs to the Andrian.
DAV. Do we seem to you such very suitable persons for you to be playing tricks with us in this way?
CHREM. (_apart._) I came {just} in time.
DAV. Make haste then, and take the child away from the door here: (_in a low voice_) stay {there}; take care you don’t stir from that spot.
MYS. (_aside._) May the Gods confound you! you do so terrify poor me.
DAV. (_in a loud voice._) Is it to you I speak or not?
MYS. What is it you want?
DAV. (_aloud._) What-- do you ask me again? Tell me, whose child have you been laying here? Let me know.
MYS. Don’t you know?
DAV. (_in a low voice._) Have done with what I know; tell me what I ask.
MYS. (_aloud._) It belongs to your people.
DAV. (_aloud._) Which of our people?
MYS. (_aloud._) To Pamphilus.
DAV. (_affecting surprise in a loud tone._) How? What-- to Pamphilus?
MYS. (_aloud._) How now-- is it not so?
CHREM. (_apart._) With {good} reason have I {always} been averse to this match, it’s clear.
DAV. (_calling aloud._) O abominable piece of effrontery!
MYS. Why are you bawling out so?
DAV. (_aloud._) What, the very one I saw being carried to your house yesterday evening?
MYS. O {you} impudent fellow!
DAV. (_aloud._) It’s the truth. I saw Canthara stuffed out beneath her clothes.[82]
MYS. I’faith, I thank the Gods that several free women were present[83] at the delivery.
DAV. (_aloud._) Assuredly she doesn’t know him, on whose account she resorts to these schemes. Chremes, {she fancies}, if he sees the child laid before the door, will not give his daughter; i’faith, he’ll give her all the sooner.
CHREM. (_apart._) I’faith, he’ll not do so.
DAV. (_aloud._) Now therefore, that you may be quite aware, if you don’t take up the child, I’ll roll it forthwith into the middle of the road; and yourself in the same place I’ll roll over into the mud.
MYS. Upon my word, man, you are not sober.
DAV. (_aloud._) One scheme brings on another. I now hear it whispered about that she is a citizen of Attica--
CHREM. (_apart._) Ha!
DAV. (_aloud._) And that, constrained by the laws,[84] he will have to take her as his wife.
MYS. Well now, pray, is she not a citizen?
CHREM. (_apart._) I had almost fallen unawares into a comical misfortune. (_Comes forward._)
DAV. Who’s that, speaking? (_Pretending to look about._) O Chremes, you have come in good time. Do listen to this.
CHREM. I have heard it all already.
DAV. Prithee, did you hear it? Here’s villainy for you! she (_pointing at MYSIS_) ought to be carried off[85] hence to the torture forthwith. (_To MYSIS, pointing at CHREMES._) This is Chremes himself; don’t suppose that you are trifling with Davus {only}.
MYS. Wretched me! upon my faith I have told no untruth, my {worthy} old gentleman.
CHREM. I know the whole affair. Is Simo within?
DAV. He is. (_CHREMES goes into SIMO’S house._)
SCENE VIII.
_DAVUS and MYSIS._
MYS. (_DAVUS attempting to caress her._) Don’t touch me, villain. (_Moving away._) On my word, if I don’t {tell} Glycerium all this....
DAV. How now, simpleton, don’t you know what has been done?
MYS. How should I know?
DAV. This is the bride’s father. It couldn’t any other way have been managed that he should know the things that we wanted him to know.
MYS. You should have told me that before.
DAV. Do you suppose that it makes little difference whether you do things according to impulse, as nature prompts, or from premeditation?
SCENE IX.
_Enter CRITO, looking about him._
CRITO (_to himself._) It was said that Chrysis used to live in this street, who preferred to gain wealth here dishonorably to living honestly {as} a poor woman in her own country: by her death that property has descended to me by law.[86] But I see some persons of whom to make inquiry. (_Accosting them._) Good-morrow to you.
MYS. Prithee, whom do I see? Isn’t this Crito, the kinsman of Chrysis? It is he.
CRI. O Mysis, greetings to you.
MYS. Welcome to you, Crito.
CRI. Is Chrysis then----?[87] Alas!
MYS. Too truly. She has indeed left us poor creatures quite heart-broken.
CRI. How {fare} you here, {and} in what fashion? Pretty well?
MYS. What, we? Just as we can, {as} they say; since we can’t as we would.
CRI. How {is} Glycerium? Has she discovered her parents yet?
MYS. I wish {she had}.
CRI. What, not yet? With no favorable omen did I set out for this place; for, upon my faith, if I had known that, I never would have moved a foot hither. She was always said to be, and was looked upon as her sister; what things were hers she is in possession of; now for me to begin a suit at law here, the precedents of others warn me, a stranger,[88] how easy and profitable a task it would be for me. At the same time, I suppose that by this she has got some friend and protector; for she was pretty nearly a grown-up girl when she left there. They would cry out that I am a sharper; that, a pauper, I’m hunting after an inheritance; besides, I shouldn’t like to strip {the girl} herself.
MYS. O most worthy stranger! I’faith, Crito, you still adhere to your good old-fashioned ways.
CRI. Lead me to her, since I have come hither, that I may see her.
MYS. By all means. (_They go into the house of GLYCERIUM._)
DAV. (_to himself._) I’ll follow them; I don’t wish the old man to see me at this moment. (_He follows MYSIS and CRITO._)
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE I.
_Enter CHREMES and SIMO from the house of SIMO._
CHREM. Enough already, enough, Simo, has my friendship toward you been proved. Sufficient hazard have I begun to encounter; make an end of your entreaties, then. While I’ve been endeavoring to oblige you, I’ve almost fooled away my daughter’s prospects in life.
SIM. Nay but, now in especial, Chremes, I do beg and entreat of you, that the favor, commenced a short time since in words, you’ll now complete by deeds.
CHREM. See how unreasonable you are from your {very} earnestness; so long as you effect what you desire, you neither think of limits to compliance, nor what {it is} you request of me; for if you did think, you would now forbear to trouble me with unreasonable requests.
SIM. What unreasonable {requests}?
CHREM. Do you ask? You importuned me to promise my daughter to a young man engaged in another attachment, averse to the marriage state, to plunge her into discord and a marriage of uncertain duration; that through her sorrow and her anguish I might reclaim your son. You prevailed; while the case admitted of it I made preparations. Now it does not admit of it; you must put up with it; they say that she is a citizen of this place; a child has been born; do cease to trouble us.
SIM. By the Gods, I do conjure you not to bring your mind to believe those whose especial interest it is that he should be as degraded as possible. On account of the marriage, have all these things been feigned and contrived. When the reason for which they do these things is removed from them, they will desist.
CHREM. You are mistaken: I myself saw the servant-maid wrangling with Davus.
SIM. (_sneeringly._) I am aware.
CHREM. With an appearance of earnestness, when neither at the moment perceived that I was present there.
SIM. I believe it; and Davus a short time since forewarned me that this would be the case; and I don’t know how I forgot to tell it you to-day, as I had intended.
SCENE II.
_Enter DAVUS from the house of GLYCERIUM._
DAV. (_aloud at the door, not seeing SIMO and CHREMES._) Now then, I bid you set your minds at ease.
CHREM. (_to SIMO._) See you, there’s Davus.
SIM. From what house is he coming out?
DAV. (_to himself._) Through my means, and that of the stranger----
SIM. (_overhearing._) What mischief is this?
DAV. (_to himself._) I never did see a more opportune person, encounter, {or} occasion.
SIM. The rascal! I wonder who it is he’s praising?
DAV. All the affair is now in a safe position.
SIM. Why do I delay to accost him?
DAV. (_to himself, catching sight of SIMO._) It’s my master; What am I to do?
SIM. (_accosting him._) O, save you, good sir!
DAV. (_affecting surprise._) Hah! Simo! O, Chremes, my {dear sir}, all things are now quite ready in-doors.
SIM. (_ironically._) You have taken such very good care.
DAV. Send for the bride when you like.
SIM. Very good: (_ironically_) of course, that’s the {only} thing that’s now wanting here. But do you answer me this, what business had you there? (_Pointing to the house of GLYCERIUM._)
DAV. What, I?
SIM. Just so.
DAV. I?
SIM. Yes, you.
DAV. I went in just now.
SIM. As if I asked how long ago!
DAV. Together with your son.
SIM. What, is Phamphilus in there? (_Aside._) To my confusion, I’m on the rack (_To DAVUS._) How now? Didn’t you say that there was enmity between them, {you} scoundrel?
DAV. There is.
SIM. Why is he there, then?
CHREM. Why do you suppose he {is}? (_Ironically._) Quarreling with her, {of course}.
DAV. Nay but, Chremes, I’ll let you now hear from me a disgraceful piece of business. An old man, I don’t know who he is, has just now come here; look you, he is a confident {and} shrewd person; when you look at his appearance, he seems to be a person of some consequence. There is a grave sternness in his features, and something commanding in his words.
SIM. What {news} are you bringing, I wonder?
DAV. Why nothing but what I heard him mention.
SIM. What does he say then?
DAV. That he knows Glycerium to be a citizen of Attica.
SIM. (_going to his door._) Ho there! Dromo, Dromo!
SCENE III.
_Enter DROMO hastily from the house._
DRO. What is it?
SIM. Dromo!
DAV. Hear me.
SIM. If you add a word-- Dromo!
DAV. Hear me, pray.
DRO. (_to SIMO._) What do you want?
SIM. (_pointing to DAVUS._) Carry him off on your shoulders in-doors as fast as possible.
DRO. Whom?
SIM. Davus.
DAV. For what reason?
SIM. Because I choose. (_To DROMO._) Carry him off, I say.
DAV. What have I done?
SIM. Carry him off.
DAV. If you find that I have told a lie in any one matter, {then} kill me.
SIM. I’ll hear nothing. I’ll soon have you set in motion.[89]
DAV. {What?} Although this is the truth.
SIM. In spite of it. (_To DROMO._) Take care he’s kept well secured; and, do you hear? Tie him up hands and feet together.[90] Now then, be off; upon my faith this very day, if I live, I’ll teach you what hazard there is in deceiving a master, and him {in deceiving} a father. (_DROMO leads DAVUS into the house._)
CHREM. Oh, don’t be so extremely vexed.
SIM. O Chremes, the dutifulness of a son! Do you not pity me? That I should endure so much trouble for such a son! (_Goes to the door of GLYCERIUM’S house._) Come, Pamphilus, come out, Pamphilus! have you any shame left?
SCENE IV.
_Enter PAMPHILUS in haste from GLYCERIUM’S house._
PAM. Who is it that wants me? (_Aside._) I’m undone! it’s my father.
SIM. What say you, of all men, the--?
CHREM. Oh! rather speak about the matter itself, and forbear to use harsh language.
SIM. As if any thing too severe could now be possibly said against him. Pray, do you say that Glycerium is a citizen--
PAM. So they say.
SIM. So they say! Unparalleled assurance! does he consider what he says? Is he sorry for what he has done? Does his countenance, pray, at all betray any marks of shame? That he should be of mind so weak, as, without regard to the custom and the law[91] of his fellow-citizens, and the wish of his own father, to be anxious, in spite of every thing, to have her, to his own utter disgrace!
PAM. Miserable that I am!
SIM. Ha! have you at last found that out only just now, Pamphilus? Long since {did} that expression, long since, when you made up your mind, that what you desired must be effected by you at any price; from that very day did that {expression} aptly befit you. But yet why do I torment myself? Why vex myself? Why worry my old age with this madness? Am I to suffer the punishment for his offenses? Nay then, let him have her, good-by to him, let him pass his life with her.
PAM. My father----
SIM. How, “my father?” As if you stood in any need of this father. Home, wife, {and} children, provided {by you} against the will of your father! People suborned, {too,} to say that she is a citizen of this place! You have gained your point.
PAM. Father, may I {say} a few words?
SIM. What can you say to me?
CHREM. But, Simo, do hear him.
SIM. I, hear him? Why should I hear him, Chremes?
CHREM. Still, however, do allow him to speak.
SIM. Well then, let him speak: I allow him.
PAM. I own that I love her; if that is committing a fault, I own that also. To you, father, do I subject myself. Impose on me any injunction you please; command me. Do you wish me to take a wife? Do you wish me to give her up? As well as I can, I will endure it. This only I request of you, not to think that this old gentleman has been suborned by me. Allow me to clear myself, and to bring him here before you.
SIM. To bring him here?
PAM. Do allow me, father.
CHREM. He asks what’s reasonable; do give him leave.
PAM. Allow me to obtain thus much of you.
SIM. I allow it. I desire any thing, so long as I find, Chremes, that I have not been deceived by him. (_PAMPHILUS goes into the house of GLYCERIUM._)
CHREM. For a great offense, a slight punishment ought to satisfy a father.
SCENE V.
_Re-enter PAMPHILUS with CRITO._
CRI. (_to PAMPHILUS, as he is coming out._) Forbear entreating. Of these, any one reason prompts me to do it, either your own sake, or the fact that it is the truth, or that I wish well for Glycerium herself.
CHREM. (_starting._) Do I see Crito of Andros? Surely it is he.
CRI. Greetings to you, Chremes.
CHREM. How is it that, so contrary to your usage, you are at Athens?
CRI. {So} it has happened. But is this Simo?
CHREM. {It is} he.
CRI. Simo, were you asking for me?
SIM. How now, do you say that Glycerium is a citizen of this place?
CRI. Do you deny it?
SIM. (_ironically._) Have you come here so well prepared?
CRI. For what purpose?
SIM. Do you ask? Are you to be acting this way with impunity? Are you to be luring young men into snares here, inexperienced in affairs, and liberally brought up, by tempting them, and to be playing upon their fancies by making promises?
CRI. Are you in your senses?
SIM. And are you to be patching up amours with Courtesans by marriage?
PAM. (_aside._) I’m undone! I fear that the stranger will not put up with this.
CHREM. If, Simo, you knew this person well, you would not think thus; he is a worthy man.
SIM. He, a worthy man! To come so opportunely to-day {just} at the very nuptials, {and yet} never to have come before? (_Ironically._) Of course, we must believe him, Chremes.
PAM. (_aside._) If I didn’t dread my father, I have something, which, in this conjuncture, I could opportunely suggest to him.[92]
SIM. (_sneeringly, to CHREMES._) A sharper![93]
CRI. (_starting._) Hah!
CHREM. It is his way, Crito; do excuse it.
CRI. Let him take heed how he behaves. If he persists in saying to me what he likes, he’ll be hearing things that he don’t like. Am I meddling with these matters or interesting myself? Can you not endure your troubles with a patient mind? For as to what I say, whether it is true or false what I have heard, can soon be known. A certain man of Attica, a long time ago,[94] his ship being wrecked, was cast ashore at Andros, and this woman together with him, who was {then} a little girl; he, in his destitution, by chance first made application to the father of Chrysis--
SIM. (_ironically._) He’s beginning his tale.
CHREM. Let him alone.
CRI. Really, is he to be interrupting me in this way?
CHREM. Do you proceed.
CRI. He who received him was a relation of mine. There I heard from him that he was a native of Attica. He died there.
CHREM. His name?
CRI. The name, in such a hurry!
PAM. Phania.
CHREM. (_starting._) Hah! I shall die!
CRI. I’faith, I really think it was Phania; this I know for certain, he said that he was a citizen of Rhamnus.[95]
CHREM. O Jupiter!
CRI. Many other persons in Andros have heard the same, Chremes.
CHREM. (_aside._) I trust it may turn out as I hope. (_To CRITO._) Come now, tell me, what {did} he then {say} about her? Did he say she was his own {daughter}?
CRI. No.
CHREM. Whose then?
CRI. His brother’s daughter.
CHREM. She certainly is mine.
CRI. What do you say?
SIM. What is this that you say?
PAM. (_aside._) Prick up your ears, Pamphilus.
SIM. Why do you suppose {so}?
CHREM. That Phania was my brother.
SIM. I knew him, and I am aware of it.
CHREM. He, flying from the wars, and following me to Asia, set out from here. At the same time he was afraid to leave her here behind; since then, this is the first time I have heard what became of him.
PAM. (_aside._) I am scarcely myself, so much has my mind been agitated by fear, hope, joy, {and} surprise at this so great, so unexpected blessing.
SIM. Really, I am glad for many reasons that she has been discovered to be a citizen.
PAM. I believe it, father.
CHREM. But there yet remains one difficulty[96] with me, which keeps me in suspense.
PAM. (_aside._) You deserve to be ----, with your scruples, {you} plague. You are seeking a knot in a bulrush.[97]
CRI. (_to CHREMES._) What is that?
CHREM. The names don’t agree.
CRI. Troth, she had another when little.
CHREM. What {was it}, Crito? Can you remember it?
CRI. I’m trying to recollect it.
PAM. (_aside._) Am I to suffer his memory to stand in the way of my happiness, when I myself can provide my own remedy in this matter? I will not suffer it. (_Aloud._) Hark you, Chremes, that which you are trying to recollect {is} “Pasibula.”
CHREM. The very same.
CRI. That’s it.
PAM. I’ve heard it from herself a thousand times.
SIM. I suppose, Chremes, that you believe that we all rejoice at this discovery.
CHREM. So may the Gods bless me, I do believe it.
PAM. What remains {to be done}, father?
SIM. The event itself has quite brought me to reconcilement.
PAM. O kind father! With regard to her as a wife, since I have taken possession of her, Chremes will not offer any opposition.
CHREM. The plea is a very good one, unless perchance your father says any thing to the contrary.
PAM. Of course, I agree.
SIM. {Then} be it so.[98]
CHREM. Her portion, Pamphilus, is ten talents.
PAM. I am satisfied.
CHREM. I’ll hasten to my daughter. Come now, (_beckoning_) along with me, Crito; for I suppose that she will not know me. (_They go into GLYCERIUM’S house._)
SIM. (_To PAMPHILUS._) Why don’t you order her to be sent for hither, {to our house}?
PAM. Well thought of; I’ll at once give charge of that to Davus.
SIM. He can’t {do it}.
PAM. How so?
SIM. Because he has another matter that more nearly concerns himself, and of more importance.
PAM. What, pray?
SIM. He is bound.
PAM. Father, he is not rightly bound.[99]
SIM. But I ordered to that effect.
PAM. Prithee, do order him to be set at liberty.
SIM. Well, be it so.
PAM. But immediately.
SIM. I’m going in.
PAM. O fortunate and happy day! (_SIMO goes into his house._)
SCENE VI.
_Enter CHARINUS, at a distance._
CHAR. (_apart to himself._) I’m come to see what Pamphilus is about; and look, here he is.
PAM. (_to himself._) Some one perhaps might imagine that I don’t believe this to be true; but now it is clear to me that it really is true. I do think that the life of the Gods is everlasting, for this reason, because their joys are their own.[100] For immortality has been obtained by me, if no sorrow interrupts this delight. But whom in particular could I wish to be now thrown in my way, for me to relate these things to?
CHAR. (_apart to himself._) What means this rapture?
PAM. (_to himself._) I see Davus. There is no one in the world whom I would choose in preference; for I am sure that he of all people will sincerely rejoice in my happiness.
SCENE VII.
_Enter DAVUS._
DAV. (_to himself._) Where is Pamphilus, I wonder?
PAM. Here he is, Davus.
DAV. (_turning round._) Who’s that?
PAM. ’Tis I, Pamphilus; you don’t know what has happened to me.
DAV. No really; but I know what has happened to myself.
PAM. And I too.
DAV. It has fallen out just like human affairs in general, that you should know the mishap I have met with, before I the good that has befallen you.
PAM. My Glycerium has discovered her parents.
DAV. O, well done!
CHAR. (_apart, in surprise._) Hah!
PAM. Her father is an intimate friend of ours.
DAV. Who?
PAM. Chremes.
DAV. You do tell good news.
PAM. And there’s no hinderance to my marrying her at once.
CHAR. (_apart._) Is he dreaming the same that he has been wishing for when awake?
PAM. Then about the child, Davus.
DAV. O, say no more; you are the only person whom the Gods favor.
CHAR. (_apart._) I’m all right if these things are true. I’ll accost them. (_Comes forward._)
PAM. Who is this? {Why,} Charinus, you meet me at the very nick of time.
CHAR. That’s all right.
PAM. Have you heard--?
CHAR. Every thing; come, in your good fortune do have some regard for me. Chremes is now at your command; I’m sure that he’ll do every thing you wish.
PAM. I’ll remember you; and because it is tedious for us to wait for him until he comes out, follow me this way; he is now in-doors at the house of Glycerium; do you, Davus, go home; send with all haste to remove her thence. Why are you standing {there}? Why are you delaying?
DAV. I’m going. (_PAMPHILUS and CHARINUS go into the house of GLYCERIUM. DAVUS then comes forward and addresses the Audience._) Don’t you wait until they come out from there; she will be betrothed within: if there is any thing else that remains, it will be transacted in-doors. Grant us your applause.[101]
FOOTNOTES
[Footnote 1: From σιμὸς, “flat-nosed.”]
[Footnote 2: From πᾶν, “all,” and φιλὸς, “a friend.”]
[Footnote 3: From σώζω, “to save;” saved in war.]
[Footnote 4: From χρέμπτομαι, “to spit.”]
[Footnote 5: From ξάρις, “grace.”]
[Footnote 6: From κριτής, “a judge.”]
[Footnote 7: From Dacia, his native country; the Davi and Daci being the same people.]
[Footnote 8: From δρόμος, “a race.”]
[Footnote 9: From πυῤῥὸς, “red-haired.”]
[Footnote 10: From γλυκερὸς, “sweet.”]
[Footnote 11: From Mysia, her native country.]
[Footnote 12: From Lesbos, her native country.]
[Footnote 13: _The Megalensian Games_)--These games were instituted at Rome in honor of the Goddess Cybele, when her statue was brought thither from Pessinum, in Asia Minor, by Scipio Nasica; they were so called from the Greek title Μεγάλη Μήτηρ, “the Great Mother.” They were called Megalesia or Megalensia, indifferently. A very interesting account of the origin of these games will be found in the Fasti of Ovid. B. iv. l. 194, et seq.]
[Footnote 14: _Being Curule Ædiles_)--Among the other offices of the Ædiles at Rome, it was their duty to preside at the public games, and to provide the necessary dramatic representations for the Theatre, by making contracts with the Poets and Actors.]
[Footnote 15: _Ambivius Turpio and Lucius Atilius Prænestinus_)--These persons were the heads or managers of the company of actors who performed the Play, and as such it was their province to make the necessary contracts with the Curule Ædiles. They were also actors themselves, and usually took the leading characters. Ambivius Turpio seems to have been a favorite with the Roman public, and to have performed for many years; of L. Atilius Prænestinus nothing is known.]
[Footnote 16: _Freedman of Claudius_)--According to some, the words, “Flaccus Claudi” mean “the son of Claudius.” It is, however, more generally thought that it is thereby meant that he was the freedman or liberated slave of some Roman noble of the family of the Claudii.]
[Footnote 17: _Treble flutes and bass flutes_)--The history of ancient music, and especially that relative to the “tibiæ,” “pipes” or “flutes,” is replete with obscurity. It is not agreed what are the meanings of the respective terms, but in the present Translation the following theory has been adopted: The words “dextræ” and “sinistræ” denote the kind of flute, the former being {treble}, the latter {bass} flutes, or, as they were sometimes called, “incentivæ” or “succentivæ;” though it has been thought by some that they were so called because the former held with the right hand, the latter with the left. When two treble flutes or two bass flutes were played upon at the same time, they were called “tibiæ pares;” but when one was “dextra” and the other “sinistra,” “tibiæ impares.” Hence the words “paribus dextris et sinistris,” would mean alternately with treble flutes and bass flutes. Two “tibiæ” were often played upon by one performer at the same time. For a specimen of a Roman “tibicen” or “piper,” see the last scene of the Stichus of Plautus. Some curious information relative to the pipers of Rome and the legislative enactments respecting them will be found in the Fasti of Ovid, B. vi. l. 653, et seq.]
[Footnote 18: _It is entirety Grecian_)--This means that the scene is in Greece, and that it is of the kind called “palliata,” as representing the manners of the Greeks, who wore the “pallium,” or outer cloak; whereas the Romans wore the “toga.” In the Prologue, Terence states that he borrowed it from the Greek of Menander.]
[Footnote 19: _Being Consuls_)--M. Claudius Marcellus and C. Sulpicius Galba were Consuls in the year from the building of Rome 586, and B.C. 167.]
[Footnote 20: _A malevolent old Poet_)--Ver. 7. He alludes to Luscus Lanuvinus, or Lavinius, a Comic Poet of his time, but considerably his senior. He is mentioned by Terence in all his Prologues except that to the Hecyra, and seems to have made it the business of his life to run down his productions and discover faults in them.]
[Footnote 21: _Composed the Andrian_)--Ver. 9. This Play, like that of our author, took its name from the Isle of Andros, one of the Cyclades in the Ægean Sea, where Glycerium is supposed to have been born. Donatus, the Commentator on Terence, informs us that the first Scene of this Play is almost a literal translation from the Perinthian of Menander, in which the old man was represented as discoursing with his wife just as Simo does here with Sosia. In the Andrian of Menander, the old man opened with a soliloquy.]
[Footnote 22: _And the Perinthian_)--Ver. 9. This Play was so called from Perinthus, a town of Thrace, its heroine being a native of that place.]
[Footnote 23: _Nævius, Plautus, and Ennius_)--Ver. 18. Ennius was the oldest of these three Poets. Nævius a contemporary of Plautus. See a probable allusion to his misfortunes in the Miles Gloriosus of Plautus, l. 211.]
[Footnote 24: _The mystifying carefulness_)--Ver. 21. By “obscuram diligentiam” he means that formal degree of precision which is productive of obscurity.]
[Footnote 25: _Are to be taken care of, I suppose_)--Ver. 30. “Nempe ut curentur recte hæc.” Colman here remarks; “Madame Dacier will have it that Simo here makes use of a kitchen term in the word ‘curentur.’ I believe it rather means ‘to take care of’ any thing generally; and at the conclusion of this very scene, Sosia uses the word again, speaking of things very foreign to cookery, ‘Sat est, curabo.’”]
[Footnote 26: _To be my freedman_)--Ver. 37. “Libertus” was the name given to a slave set at liberty by his master. A “libertinus” was the son of a “libertus.”]
[Footnote 27: _As it were a censure_)--Ver. 43. Among the Greeks (whose manners and sentiments are supposed to be depicted in this Play) it was a maxim that he who did a kindness should forget it, while he who received it should keep it in memory. Sosia consequently feels uneasy, and considers the remark of his master in the light of a reproach.]
[Footnote 28: _After he had passed from youthfulness_)--Ver. 51. “Ephebus” was the name given to a youth when between the ages of sixteen and twenty.]
[Footnote 29: _And a master_)--Ver. 54. See the Notes to the Translation of the Bacchides of Plautus, l. 109, where Lydus, a slave, appears as the “pædagogus,” or “magister,” of Pistoclerus.]
[Footnote 30: _Or to the philosophers_)--Ver. 57. It was the custom in Greece with all young men of free birth to apply themselves to the study of philosophy, of course with zeal proportioned to the love of learning in each. They each adopted some particular sect, to which they attached themselves. There is something sarcastic here, and indeed not very respectful to the “philosophers,” in coupling them as objects of attraction with horses and hounds.]
[Footnote 31: _Nothing to excess_)--Ver. 61. “Ne quid nimis.” This was one of the three sentences which were inscribed in golden letters in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. The two others were “Know thyself,” and “Misery is the consequence of debt and discord.” Sosia seems from the short glimpse we have of him to have been a retailer of old saws and proverbs. He is unfortunately only a Protatic or introductory character, as we lose sight of him after this Act.]
[Footnote 32: _Meanwhile, three years ago_)--Ver. 60. The following remark of Donatus on this passage is quoted by Colman for its curiosity. “The Author has artfully said three years, when he might have given a longer or a shorter period; since it is probable that the woman might have lived modestly one year; set up the trade the next; and died the third. In the first year, therefore, Pamphilus knew nothing of the family of Chrysis; in the second, he became acquainted with Glycerium; and in the third, Glycerium marries Pamphilus, and finds her parents.”]
[Footnote 33: _He is smitten_)--Ver. 78. “Habet,” literally “He has it.” This was the expression used by the spectators at the moment when a Gladiator was wounded by his antagonist. In the previous line, in the words “captus est,” a figurative allusion is made to the “retiarius,” a Gladiator who was provided with a net, with which he endeavored to entangle his opponent.]
[Footnote 34: _Gave his contribution_)--Ver. 88. “Symbolam.” The “symbolæ,” “shot” at picnic or club entertainments, are more than once alluded to in the Notes to the Translation of Plautus.]
[Footnote 35: _Even I myself_)--Ver. 116. Cooke remarks here: “A complaisant father, to go to the funeral of a courtesan, merely to oblige his son!”]
[Footnote 36: _The female attendants_)--Ver. 123. “Pedissequæ.” These “pedissequæ,” or female attendants, are frequently alluded to in the Plays of Plautus. See the Notes to Bohn’s Translation.]
[Footnote 37: _To the burying-place_)--Ver. 128. “Sepulcrum” strictly means, the tomb or place for burial, but here the funeral pile itself. When the bones were afterward buried on the spot where they were burned, it was called “bustum.”]
[Footnote 38: _Troubles itself about that_)--Ver. 185. He says this contemptuously, as if it was likely that the public should take any such great interest in his son as the father would imply by his remark. By thus saying, he also avoids giving a direct reply.]
[Footnote 39: _Davus, not Œdipus_)--Ver. 194. Alluding to the circumstance of Œdipus alone being able to solve the riddle of the Sphynx.]
[Footnote 40: _To the mill_)--Ver. 199. The “pistrinum,” or “hand-mill,” for grinding corn, was used as a mode of punishment for refractory slaves. See the Notes to the Translation of Plautus.]
[Footnote 41: _Those in their dotage, not those who dote in love_)--Ver. 218. There is a jingle intended in this line, in the resemblance between “amentium,” “mad persons,” and “amantium,” “lovers.”]
[Footnote 42: _They have resolved to rear_)--Ver. 219. This passage alludes to the custom among the Greeks of laying new-born children on the ground, upon which the father, or other person who undertook the care of the child, lifted it from the ground, “tollebat.” In case no one took charge of the child, it was exposed, which was very frequently done in the case of female children. Plato was the first to inveigh against this barbarous practice. It is frequently alluded to in the Plays of Plautus.]
[Footnote 43: _Hence to the Forum_)--Ver. 226. Colman has the following remark: “The Forum is frequently spoken of in the Comic Authors; and from various passages in which Terence mentions it, it may be collected that it was a public place, serving the several purposes of a market, the seat of the courts of justice, a public walk, and an exchange.”]
[Footnote 44: _Wine-bibbing_)--Ver. 229. The nurses and midwives of antiquity seem to have been famed for their tippling propensities. In some of the Plays of Plautus we do not find them spared.]
[Footnote 45: _Rearing some monster_)--Ver. 250. “Aliquid monstri alunt.” Madame Dacier and some other Commentators give these words the rather far-fetched meaning of “They are hatching some plot.” Donatus, with much more probability, supposes him to refer to the daughter of Chremes, whom, as the young women among the Greeks were brought up in great seclusion, we may suppose Pamphilus never to have seen.]
[Footnote 46: _She is oppressed with grief_)--Ver. 268. “Laborat a dolore.” Colman has the following remark upon this passage: “Though the word ‘laborat’ has tempted Donatus and the rest of the Commentators to suppose that this sentence signifies Glycerium being in labor, I can not help concurring with Cooke, that it means simply that she is weighed down with grief. The words immediately subsequent corroborate this interpretation; and at the conclusion of the Scene, when Mysis tells him that she is going for a midwife, Pamphilus hurries her away, as he would naturally have done here had he understood by these words that her mistress was in labor.”]
[Footnote 47: _By your good Genius_)--Ver. 289. “Per Genium tuum.” This was a common expression with the Romans, and is used by Horace, Epistles, B. i., Ep. 7:--
“Quod te per Genium dextramque Deosque Penates, Obsecro, et obtestor--”
The word “Genius” signified the tutelary God who was supposed to attend every person from the period of his birth. The signification of the word will be found further referred to in the Notes to the Translation of Plautus.]
[Footnote 48: _To fetch the midwife_)--Ver. 299. Cooke has the following remark here: “Methinks Mysis has loitered a little too much, considering the business which she was sent about; but perhaps Terence knew that some women were of such a temper as to gossip on the way, though an affair of life or death requires their haste.” Colman thus takes him to task for this observation: “This two-edged reflection, glancing at once on Terence and the ladies, is, I think, very ill-founded. The delay of Mysis, on seeing the emotion of Pamphilus, is very natural; and her artful endeavors to interest Pamphilus on behalf of her mistress, are rather marks of her attention than neglect.”]
[Footnote 49: _Charinus and Byrrhia_). We learn from Donatus that the characters of Charinus and Byrrhia were not introduced in the work of Menander, but were added to the Play of Terence, lest Philumena’s being left without a husband, on the marriage of Pamphilus to Glycerium, should appear too tragical a circumstance. Diderot is of opinion that Terence did not improve his Play by this addition.]
[Footnote 50: _Tell me nothing_)--Ver. 336. It has been suggested that this refers to Byrrhia’s dissuading his master from addressing Pamphilus, or else to what he has told him concerning the intended marriage. Westerhovius thinks that Byrrhia is just then whispering some trifling nonsense in his master’s ear, which he, occupied with more important cares, is unwilling to attend to.]
[Footnote 51: _To a high place_)--Ver. 356. He probably alludes to some part of the Acropolis, the citadel, or higher part of Athens, which commanded a view of the lower town.]
[Footnote 52: _Stillness before the door_)--Ver. 362. Madame Dacier observes that this remark is very appropriately made by Davus, as showing that the marriage was clearly not intended by Chremes. The house of the bride on such an occasion would be thronged by her friends, and at the door would be the musicians and those who were to form part of the bridal procession.]
[Footnote 53: _No matron at the house_)--Ver. 364. By the use of the word “matrona,” he probably alludes to the “pronubæ” among the Romans, whose duties were somewhat similar to those of our bride’s-maids. At the completion of the bridal repast, the bride was conducted to the bridal chamber by matrons who had not had more than one husband.]
[Footnote 54: _An obol’s worth_)--Ver. 369. The “obelus” was the smallest Greek silver coin, and was equal in value to about three halfpence of our money. “Pisciculi minuti,” “little fish,” were much used for food among the poorer classes; “mena,” a fish resembling our pilchard, was a common article of food with the Romans. The larger kinds of fish went under the general name of “cetum.”]
[Footnote 55: _I have now followed him_)--Ver. 414. “Hunc venientem sequor.” Cooke has the following remark on this line: “This verse, though in every edition, as Bentley judiciously observes, is certainly spurious; for as Pamphilus has not disappeared since Byrrhia left the stage, he could not say ‘nunc {hunc} venientem sequor.’ If we suppose the line genuine, we must at the same time suppose Terence guilty of a monstrous absurdity.” On these words Colman makes the following just observations: “Other Commentators have also stumbled at this passage; but if in the words ‘followed {him} hither,’ we suppose {‘him’} (hunc) to refer to Simo, the difficulty is removed; and that the pronoun really does signify Simo, is evident from the circumstance of Pamphilus never having left the stage since the disappearance of Byrrhia. Simo is also represented as coming on the stage homeward, so that Byrrhia might easily have followed him along the street; and it is evident that Byrrhia does not allude to Pamphilus from the agreeable surprise which he expresses on seeing him there so opportunely for the purpose.”]
[Footnote 56: _Inflict evil upon me_)--Ver. 431. “Malum;” the usual name by which slaves spoke of the beatings they were in the habit of receiving at the hands or by the order of their irascible masters. Colman has the following remarks: “Donatus observes on this Scene between Byrrhia, Simo, Pamphilus, and Davus, that the dialogue is sustained by four persons, who have little or no intercourse with each other; so that the Scene is not only in direct contradiction to the precept of Horace, excluding a fourth person, but is also otherwise vicious in its construction. Scenes of this kind are, I think, much too frequent in Terence, though, indeed, the form of the ancient Theatre was more adapted to the representation of them than the modern. The multiplicity of speeches {aside} is also the chief error in this dialogue; such speeches, though very common in dramatic writers, ancient and modern, being always more or less unnatural.”]
[Footnote 57: _What does he say, Davus?_)--Ver. 434. “Quid, Dave, narrat?” This reading Vollbehr suggests in place of the old one, “Quid Davus narrat?” and upon good grounds, as it appears. According to the latter reading we are to suppose that Davus is grumbling to himself, on which Simo says, “What does Davus say?” It seems, however, much more likely that Davus accompanies Pamphilus to the door, and speaks to him before he goes in, and then, on his return to Simo, the latter asks him, “What does he say, Davus?”]
[Footnote 58: _Just as much as nothing_)--Ver. 434. “Æque quidquam nunc quidem.” This is a circumlocution for “nothing at all:” somewhat more literally perhaps, it might be rendered “just as much as before.” Perizonius supplies the ellipsis with a long string of Latin words, which translated would mean, “Now, indeed, he says equally as much as he says then, when he says nothing at all.”]
[Footnote 59: _Amount of ten drachmæ_)--Ver. 451. The Attic drachma was a silver coin worth in value about 9¾_d._ of English money.]
[Footnote 60: _Juno Lucina_)--Ver. 473. Juno Lucina had the care of women in childbed. Under this name some suppose Diana to have been worshiped. A similar incident to the present is found in the Adelphi, l. 486; and in the Aulularia of Plautus, l. 646.]
[Footnote 61: _Are your scholars forgetful?_)--Ver. 477. He alludes under this term to Mysis, Lesbia, and Pamphilus, whom he supposes Davus to have been training to act their parts in the plot against him.]
[Footnote 62: _Let her bathe_)--Ver. 483. It was the custom for women to bathe immediately after childbirth. See the Amphitryon of Plautus, l. 669, and the Note to the passage in Bohn’s Translation.]
[Footnote 63: _Be laying the child_)--Ver. 507. Colman has the following remark on this line:-- “The art of this passage is equal to the pleasantry, for though Davus runs into this detail merely with a view to dupe the old man still further by flattering him on his fancied sagacity, yet it very naturally prepares us for an incident which, by another turn of circumstances, afterward becomes necessary.”]
[Footnote 64: _Proved to be false_)--Ver. 513. That is, according to Simo’s own notion, which Davus now thinks proper to humor.]
[Footnote 65: _To Bring a child at the same time_)--Ver. 515. This is a piece of roguery which has probably been practiced in all ages, and was somewhat commonly perpetrated in Greece. The reader of English history will remember how the unfortunate son of James II was said, in the face of the strongest evidence to the contrary, to have been a supposititious child brought into the queen’s chamber in a silver warming-pan.]
[Footnote 66: _But I do not think_)--Ver. 563-4. “At ego non posse arbitror neque illum hane perpetuo habere.” Chremes uses an ambiguous expression here, perhaps purposely. It may mean, “I do not think that he can possibly be constant to her,” or, “that she will continue to live with him.”]
[Footnote 67: _A sure son-in-law_)--Ver. 571. By the use of the word “firmum,” he means a son-in-law who will not be likely to resort to divorce or separation from his wife.]
[Footnote 68: _Why isn’t the bride sent for?_)--Ver. 582. Among the Greeks the bride was conducted by the bridegroom at nightfall from her father’s house, in a chariot drawn by a pair of mules or oxen, and escorted by persons carrying the nuptial torches. Among the Romans she proceeded in the evening to the bridegroom’s house; preceded by a boy carrying a torch of white thorn, or, according to some, of pine-wood. To this custom reference is indirectly made in the present passage.]
[Footnote 69: _I myself, indeed!_)--Ver. 597. No doubt Davus says these words in sorrow and regret; Simo, however, supposes them to be uttered in exultation at the apparent success of his plans. Consequently “vero” is intended by Davus to have the sense here of “too truly.”]
[Footnote 70: _To a frivolous slave_)--Ver. 610. “Servo futili.” According to the Scholiast on the Thebais of Statius, B. viii. l. 297, “vas futile” was a kind of vessel with a broad mouth and narrow bottom, used in the rites of Vesta. It was made of that peculiar shape in order that the priest should be obliged to hold it during the sacrifices, and might not set it on the ground, which was considered profane; as, if set there, the contents must necessarily fall out. From this circumstance, men who could not {contain} a secret were sometimes called “futiles.”]
[Footnote 71: _You scoundrel_)--Ver. 619. “Furcifer;” literally, wearer of the “furca,” or wooden collar. This method of punishment has been referred to in the Notes to the Translation of Plautus.]
[Footnote 72: _What do you deserve?_)--Ver. 622. Madame Dacier remarks that this question is taken from the custom of the Athenians, who never condemned a criminal without first asking him what punishment he thought he deserved; and according to the nature of his answer they mitigated or increased his punishment. Tho Commentators quote a similar passage from the Frogs of Aristophanes.]
[Footnote 73: _The cross_)--Ver. 622. The “cross,” “crux,” as a punishment for refractory slaves has been remarked upon in the Notes to the Translation of Plautus.]
[Footnote 74: _The circumstances_)--Ver. 635. “Res.” According, however, to Donatus, this word has the meaning here of “malice” or “spitefulness.”]
[Footnote 75: _Concerned in my own interests_)--Ver. 637. Equivalent to our sayings, “Charity begins at home;” “Take care of number one.”]
[Footnote 76: _They are not ashamed_)--Ver. 638. Terence has probably borrowed this remark from the Epidicus of Plautus, l. 165-6: “Generally all men are ashamed when it is of no use; when they ought to be ashamed, then does shame forsake them, when occasion is for them to be ashamed.”]
[Footnote 77: _Makes a noise_)--Ver. 683. The doors with the Romans opened inwardly, while those of the Greeks opened on the outside. It was therefore usual with them, when coming out, to strike the door on the inside with a stick or with the knuckles, that those outside might be warned to get out of the way. Patrick, however, observes with some justice, that the word “concrepuit” may here allude to the creaking of the hinges. See the Curculio of Plautus, l. 160, where the Procuress pours water on the hinges, in order that Cappadox may not hear the opening of the door.]
[Footnote 78: _Take some sacred herbs_)--Ver. 727. “Verbena” appears to have been a general term applied to any kind of herb used in honor of the Deities, or to the boughs and leaves of any tree gathered from a pure or sacred place. Fresh “verbenæ” were placed upon the altars every day. See the Mercator of Plautus, l. 672.]
[Footnote 79: _From the altar here_)--Ver. 727. It was usual to have altars on the stage; when Comedy was performed, one on the left hand in honor of Apollo, and on the representation of Tragedy, one on the right in honor of Bacchus. It has been suggested that Terence here alludes to the former of these. As, however, at Athens almost every house had its own altar in honor of Apollo Prostaterius just outside of the street door, it is most probable that to one of these altars reference is here made. They are frequently alluded to in the Plays of Plautus.]
[Footnote 80: _Which I had first purposed, I now give up_)--Ver. 734. His first intention no doubt was to go and inform Simo of the child being laid at the door.]
[Footnote 81: _Whenever there’s necessity_)--Ver. 737. He retires without fully explaining his intention to Mysis; consequently, in the next Scene she gives an answer to Chremes which Davus does not intend.]
[Footnote 82: _Stuffed out beneath her clothes_)--Ver. 771. “Suffarcinatam.” He alludes to the trick already referred to as common among the Greeks, of the nurses and midwives secretly introducing supposititious children; see l. 515 and the Note.]
[Footnote 83: _Several free women were present_)--Ver. 772. She speaks of “liberæ,” “free women,” because in Greece as well as Italy slaves were not permitted to give evidence. See the Curculio of Plautus, l. 621, and the Note to the passage in Bohn’s Translation. See also the remark of Geta in the Phormio, l. 293.]
[Footnote 84: _Constrained by the laws_)--Ver. 782. He alludes to a law at Athens which compelled a man who had debauched a free-born woman to marry her. This is said by Davus with the view of frightening Chremes from the match.]
[Footnote 85: _She ought to be carried off_)--Ver. 787. He says this implying that Mysis, who is a slave, ought to be put to the torture to confess the truth; as it was the usual method at Athens to force a confession from slaves by that method. We find in the Hecyra, Bacchis readily offering her slaves to be put to the torture, and in the Adelphi the same custom is alluded to in the scene between Micio, Hegio, and Geta.]
[Footnote 86: _Descended to me by law_)--Ver. 800. On the supposition that Chrysis died without a will, Crito as her next of kin would be entitled to her effects.]
[Footnote 87: _ Is Chrysis then----?_)--Ver. 804. This is an instance of Aposiopesis; Crito, much affected, is unwilling to name the death of Chrysis. It was deemed of ill omen to mention death, and numerous Euphemisms or circumlocutions were employed in order to avoid the necessity of doing so.]
[Footnote 88: _Warn me, a stranger_)--Ver. 812. Patrick has the following remarks upon this passage: “Madame Dacier observes that it appears, from Xenophon’s Treatise on the policy of the Athenians, that all the inhabitants of cities and islands in alliance with Athens were obliged in all claims to repair thither, and refer their cause to the decision of the people, not being permitted to plead elsewhere. We can not wonder then that Crito is unwilling to engage in a suit so inconvenient from its length, expense, and little prospect of success.” She might have added that such was the partiality and corruptness of the Athenian people, that, being a stranger, his chances of success would probably be materially diminished.]
[Footnote 89: _You set in motion_)--Ver. 865. By the use of the word “Commotus” he seems to allude to the wretched, restless existence of a man tied hand and foot, and continually working at the hand-mill. Westerhovius thinks that Simo uses this word sarcastically, in allusion to the words of Davus, at the beginning of the present Scene, “Animo otioso esse impero;” “I bid you set your minds at ease.”]
[Footnote 90: _Hands and feet together_)--Ver. 866. “Quadrupedem.” Literally “as a quadruped” or “all fours.” Echard remarks that it was the custom of the Athenians to tie criminals hands and feet together, just like calves.]
[Footnote 91: _ Without regard to the custom and the law_)--Ver. 880. There was a law among the Athenians which forbade citizens to marry strangers, and made the offspring of such alliances illegitimate; the same law also excluded such as were not born of two citizens from all offices of trust and honor.]
[Footnote 92: _Could opportunely suggest to him_)--Ver. 919. Colman has the following remark on this line: “Madame Dacier and several English Translators make Pamphilus say that he could give Crito a hint or two. What hints he could propose to suggest to Crito, I can not conceive. The Italian translation, printed with the Vatican Terence, seems to understand the words in the same manner that I have translated them, in which sense (the pronoun ‘illum’ referring to Simo instead of Crito) they seem to be the most natural words of Pamphilus on occasion of his father’s anger and the speech immediately preceding.”]
[Footnote 93: _A sharper_)--Ver. 920. “Sycophanta.” For some account of the “sycophantæ,” “swindlers” or “sharpers” of ancient times, see the Notes to the Trinummus of Plautus, Bohn’s Translation.]
[Footnote 94: _A long time ago_)--Ver. 924. The story begins with “Olim,” just in the same way that with us nursery tales commence with “There was, a long time ago.”]
[Footnote 95: _A citizen of Rhamnus_)--Ver. 931. Rhamnus was a maritime town of Attica, near which many of the more wealthy Athenians had country-seats. It was famous for the Temple of Nemesis there, the Goddess of Vengeance, who was thence called “Rhamnusia.” In this Temple was her statue, carved by Phidias out of the marble which the Persians brought to Greece for the purpose of making a statue of Victory out of it, and which was thus appropriately devoted to the Goddess of Retribution. The statue wore a crown, and had wings, and, holding a spear of ash in the right hand, it was seated on a stag.]
[Footnote 96: _One difficulty_)--Ver. 941. “Scrupus,” or “scrupulus,” was properly a stone or small piece of gravel which, getting into the shoe, hurt the foot; hence the word figuratively came to mean a “scruple,” “difficulty,” or “doubt.” We have a similar expression: “to be graveled.”]
[Footnote 97: _A knot in a bulrush_)--Ver. 942. “Nodum in scirpo quærere” was a proverbial expression implying a desire to create doubts and difficulties where there really were none; there being no knots in the bulrush. The same expression occurs in the Menæchmi of Plautus, l. 247.]
[Footnote 98: _Of course----Then be it so_)--Ver. 951. “Nempe id. Scilicet.” Colman has the following remark on this line: “Donatus, and some others after him, understand these words of Simo and Pamphilus as requiring a fortune of Chremes with his daughter; and one of them says that Simo, in order to explain his meaning, in the representation, should produce a bag of money. This surely is precious refinement, worthy the genius of a true Commentator. Madame Dacier, who entertains a just veneration for Donatus, doubts the authenticity of the observation ascribed to him. The sense I have followed is, I think, the most obvious and natural interpretation of the words of Pamphilus and Simo, which refers to the preceding, not the subsequent, speech of Chremes.”]
[Footnote 99: _He is not rightly bound_)--Ver. 956. “Non recte vinctus;” meaning “it was not well done to bind him.” The father pretends to understand him as meaning (which he might equally well by using the same words), “non satis stricte,” “he wasn’t tightly enough” bound; and answers “I ordered that he should be,” referring to his order for Davus to be bound hand and foot. Donatus justly observes that the disposition of the old gentleman to joke is a characteristic mark of his thorough reconciliation.]
[Footnote 100: _Their joys are their own_)--Ver. 961. Westorhovius remarks that he seems here to be promulgating the doctrine of Epicurus, who taught that the Deities devoted themselves entirely to pleasure and did not trouble themselves about mortals. Donatas observes that these are the doctrines of Epicurus and that the whole sentence is copied from the Eunuch of Menander; to which practice of borrowing from various Plays, allusion is made in the Prologue, where he mentions the mixing of plays; “contaminari fabulas.”]
[Footnote 101: _Grant us your applause_)--Ver. 982. “Plaudite.” Colman has the following remark at the conclusion of this Play: “All the old Tragedies and Comedies acted at Rome concluded in this manner. ‘Donec cantor vos “Plaudite” dicat,’ says Horace. Who the ‘cantor’ was, is a matter of dispute. Madame Dacier thinks it was the whole chorus; others suppose it to have been a single actor; some the prompter, and some the composer. Before the word ‘Plaudite’ in all the old copies is an Ω which has also given rise to several learned conjectures. It is most probable, according to the notion of Madame Dacier, that this Ω, being the last letter of the Greek alphabet, was nothing more than the mark of the transcriber to signify the end, like the Latin word ‘Finis’ in modern books; or it might, as Patrick supposes, stand for Ωδος, ‘cantor,’ denoting that the following word ‘Plaudite’ was spoken by him. After ‘Plaudite’ in all the old copies of Terence stand these two words, ‘Calliopius recensui;’ which signify, ‘I, Calliopius, have revised and corrected this piece.’ And this proceeds from the custom of the old critics, who carefully revised all Manuscripts, and when they had read and corrected any work, certified the same by placing their names at the end of it.”]
* * * * * * * * *
EUNUCHUS; THE EUNUCH.
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
LACHES,[1] an aged Athenian. PHÆDRIA,[2] } his sons. CHÆREA,[3] } ANTIPHO,[4] a young man, friend of Chærea. CHREMES,[5] a young man, brother of Pamphila. THRASO,[6] a boastful Captain. GNATHO,[7] a Parasite. PARMENO,[8] servant of Phædria. SANGA,[9] cook to Thraso. DONAX,[10] } SIMALIO,[11] } servants of Thraso. SYRISCUS,[12] } DORUS,[15] a Eunuch slave. THAIS,[13] a Courtesan. PYTHIAS,[14] } her attendants. DORIAS,[15] } SOPHRONA,[16] a nurse. PAMPHILA,[17] a female slave.
_Scene._--Athens; before the houses of LACHES and THAIS.
THE SUBJECT.
A certain citizen of Athens had a daughter named Pamphila, and a son called Chremes. The former was stolen while an infant, and sold to a Rhodian merchant, who having made a present of her to a Courtesan of Rhodes, she brought her up with her own daughter Thais, who was somewhat older. In the course of years, Thais following her mother’s way of life, removes to Athens. Her mother dying, her property is put up for sale, and Pamphila is purchased as a slave by Thraso, an officer and an admirer of Thais, who happens just then to be visiting Rhodes. During the absence of Thraso, Thais becomes acquainted with Phædria, an Athenian youth, the son of Laches; she also discovers from Chremes, who lives near Athens, that Pamphila, her former companion, is his sister. Thraso returns, intending to present to her the girl he has bought, but determines not to do so until she has discarded Phædria. Finding that the girl is no other than Pamphila, Thais is at a loss what to do, as she both loves Phædria, and is extremely anxious to recover Pamphila. At length, to please the Captain, she excludes Phædria, but next day sends for him, and explains to him her reasons, at the same time begging of him to allow Thraso the sole right of admission to her house for the next two days, and assuring him that as soon as she shall have gained possession of the girl, she will entirely throw him off. Phædria consents, and resolves to spend these two days in the country; at the same time he orders Parmeno to take to Thais a Eunuch and an Æthiopian girl, whom he has purchased for her. The Captain also sends Pamphila, who is accidentally seen by Chærea, the younger brother of Phædria; he, being smitten with her beauty, prevails upon Parmeno to introduce him into the house of Thais, in the Eunuch’s dress. Being admitted there, in the absence of Thais, he ravishes the damsel. Shortly afterward Thraso quarrels with Thais, and comes with all his attendants to her house to demand the return of Pamphila, but is disappointed. In conclusion, Pamphila is recognized by her brother Chremes, and is promised in marriage to Chremes; while Thraso becomes reconciled to Phædria, through the mediation of Gnatho, his Parasite.
THE TITLE[18] OF THE PLAY.
Performed at the Megalensian Games; L. Posthumius Albinus and L. Cornelius Merula being Curule Ædiles. L. Ambivius Turpio and L. Atilius Præsnestinus performed it. Flaccus, the freedman of Claudius, composed the music to two treble flutes. From the Greek of Menander. It was acted twice,[19] M. Valerius and C. Fannius being Consuls.[20]
EUNUCHUS; THE EUNUCH.
THE SUMMARY OF C. SULPITIUS APOLLINARIS.
The Captain, Thraso, being ignorant of the same, has brought {from abroad} a girl who used wrongly to be called the sister of Thais, and presents her to {Thais} herself: she {in reality} is a citizen of Attica. To the same woman, Phædria, an admirer of Thais, orders a Eunuch whom he has purchased, to be taken, and he himself goes away into the country, having been entreated to give up two days to Thraso. A youth, the brother of Phædria, having fallen in love with the damsel sent to the house of Thais, is dressed up in the clothes of the Eunuch. Parmeno prompts him; he goes in; he ravishes the maiden; but {at length} her brother being discovered, a citizen of Attica, betroths her who has been ravished, to the youth, {and} Thraso prevails upon Phædria by his entreaties.
THE PROLOGUE.
If there is any one who desires to please as many good men as possible, and to give offense to extremely few, among those does our Poet enroll his name. Next, if there is one who thinks[21] that language too harsh, is {here} applied to him, let him bear this in mind-- that it is an answer, not an attack; inasmuch as he has himself been the first aggressor; who, by translating {plays} verbally,[22] and writing them in bad {Latin}, has made out of good Greek {Plays} Latin ones by no means good. Just as of late he has published the Phasma[23] [the Apparition] of Menander; and in the Thesaurus [the Treasure] has described[24] him from whom the gold is demanded, as pleading his cause why it should be deemed his own, before the person who demands it {has stated} how this treasure belongs to him, or how it came into the tomb of his father. Henceforward, let him not deceive himself, or fancy thus, “I have now done with it; there’s nothing that he can say to me.” I recommend him not to be mistaken, and to refrain from provoking me. I have many other points, as to which for the present he shall be pardoned, which, {however}, shall be brought forward hereafter, if he persists in attacking me, as he has begun to do. After the Ædiles had purchased the Eunuch of Menander, {the Play} which we are about to perform, he managed to get an opportunity of viewing it.[25] When the magistrates were present it began to be performed. He exclaimed that a thief, no Poet, had produced the piece, but still had not deceived[26] {him}; that, in fact, it was the Colax, an old Play of Plautus;[27] {and} that from it were taken the characters of the Parasite and the Captain. If this is a fault, the fault is the ignorance of the Poet; not that he intended to be guilty of theft. That so it is, you will now be enabled to judge. The Colax is {a Play} of Menander’s; in it there is Colax, a Parasite, and a braggart Captain: he does not deny that he has transferred these characters into his Eunuch from the Greek; but assuredly he does deny this, that he was aware that those pieces had been already translated into Latin. But if it is not permitted {us} to use the same characters as others, how can it any more be allowed to represent hurrying servants,[28] to describe virtuous matrons, artful courtesans, the gluttonous parasite, the braggart captain, the infant palmed off, the old man cajoled by the servant, about love, hatred, suspicion? In fine, nothing is said now that has not been said before. Wherefore it is but just that you should know this, and make allowance, if the moderns do what the ancients used to do. Grant me your attention, and give heed in silence, that you may understand what the Eunuch means.
ACT THE FIRST.
SCENE I.
_Enter PHÆDRIA and PARMENO._
PHÆD. What, then, shall I do?[29] Ought I not to go, not now even, when I am sent for of her own accord? Or ought I rather so to behave myself as not to put up with affronts from Courtesans? She shut her door against me; she {now} invites me back. Ought I to return? No; though she should implore me.
PAR. I’faith, if indeed you {only} can, there’s nothing better or more spirited; but if you begin, and can not hold out stoutly, and if, when you can not endure it, while no one asks you, peace being not made, you come to her of your own accord, showing that you love her, and can not endure it, you are done for; it’s all over {with you}; you are ruined outright. She’ll be jilting you, when she finds you overcome. Do you then, while there’s time, again and again reflect upon this, master, that a matter, which in itself admits of neither prudence nor moderation, you are unable to manage with prudence. In love there are all these evils; wrongs, suspicions, enmities, reconcilements, war, then peace; if you expect to render these things, {naturally} uncertain, certain by dint of reason, you wouldn’t effect it a bit the more than if you were to use your endeavors to be mad with reason. And, what you are now, in anger, meditating to yourself, “What! I to her?[30] Who-- him! Who-- me! Who wouldn’t? Only let me alone; I had rather die; she shall find out what sort of a person I am;” these expressions, upon my faith, by a single false tiny tear, which, by rubbing her eyes, poor thing, she can hardly squeeze out perforce, she will put an end to; and she’ll be the first to accuse you; and you will be too ready to give satisfaction to her.
PHÆD. O disgraceful conduct! I now perceive, both that she is perfidious, and that I am a wretched man. I am both weary of her, and burn with passion; knowing {and} fully sensible, alive and seeing it, I am going to ruin; nor do I know what I am to do.
PAR. What you are to do? Why, only to redeem yourself, {thus} captivated, at the smallest price you can; if you can not at a very small rate, still for as little as you can; and do not afflict yourself.
PHÆD. Do you persuade me to this?
PAR. If you are wise. And don’t be adding to the troubles which love itself produces; those which it does produce, bear patiently. But see, here she is coming herself, the downfall of our fortunes,[31]-- for that which we ought ourselves to enjoy she intercepts.
SCENE II.
_Enter THAIS from her house._
THAIS (_to herself, not seeing them._) Ah wretched me! I fear lest Phædria should take it amiss or otherwise than I intended it, that he was not admitted yesterday.
PHÆD. (_aside to PARMENO._) I’m trembling and shivering all over, Parmeno, at the sight of her.
PAR. (_apart._) Be of good heart; {only} approach this fire,[32] you’ll soon be warmer than you need.
THAIS (_turning round._) Who is it that’s speaking here? What, are you here, my Phædria? Why are you standing here! Why didn’t you come into the house at once?
PAR. (_whispering to PHÆDRIA._) But not a word about shutting you out!
THAIS. Why are you silent?
PHÆD. Of course, it’s because[33] this door is always open to me, or because I’m the highest in your favor?
THAIS. Pass those matters by.
PHÆD. How pass them by? O Thais, Thais, I wish that I had equal affection with yourself, and that it were in like degree, that either this, might distress you in the same way that it distresses me, or that I might be indifferent at this being done by you.
THAIS. Prithee, don’t torment yourself, my life, my Phædria. Upon my faith, I did it, not because I love or esteem any person more {than you}; but the case was such {that} it was necessary to be done.
PAR. (_ironically._) I suppose that, poor thing, you shut him out of doors, for love, according to the usual practice.
THAIS. Is it thus you act, Parmeno? Well, well. (_To PHÆDRIA._) But listen-- the reason for which I desired you to be sent for hither--
PHÆD. Go on.
THAIS. First tell me this; can this fellow possibly hold his tongue? (_pointing to PARMENO._)
PAR. What, I? Perfectly well. But, hark you, upon these conditions I pledge my word to you; the truth that I hear, I’m silent upon, and retain it most faithfully; but if I hear what’s false and without foundation, it’s out at once; I’m full of chinks, and leak in every direction. Therefore, if you wish it to be kept secret, speak the truth.
THAIS. My mother was a Samian; she lived at Rhodes--
PAR. That may be kept a secret.
THAIS. There, at that period, a certain merchant made present to my mother of a little girl, who had been stolen away from Attica here.
PAR. What, a citizen?
THAIS. I think {so}; we do not know for certain: she herself used to mention her mother’s and her father’s name; her country and other tokens she didn’t know, nor, by reason of her age, was she able. The merchant added this: that he had heard from the kidnappers that she had been carried off from Sunium.[34] When my mother received her, she began carefully to teach her every thing, {and} to bring her up, just as though she had been her own daughter. Most persons supposed that she was my sister. Thence I came hither with that stranger, with whom alone at that period I was connected; he left me all which I {now} possess--
PAR. Both these things are false; out it goes.
THAIS. How so?
PAR. Because you were neither content with one, nor was he the only one to make you presents; for he likewise (_pointing to PHÆDRIA_) brought a pretty considerable share to you.
THAIS. Such is the fact; but do allow me to arrive at the point I wish. In the mean time, the Captain, who had begun to take a fancy to me, set out to Caria;[35] since when, in the interval, I became acquainted with you. You yourself are aware how very dear I have held you; and how I confess to you all my nearest counsels.
PHÆD. Nor will Parmeno be silent about that.
PAR. O, is that a matter of doubt?
THAIS. Attend; I entreat you. My mother died there recently; her brother is somewhat greedy after wealth. When he saw that this damsel was of beauteous form and understood music, hoping for a good price, he forthwith put her up for sale, {and} sold her. By good fortune this friend of mine was present; he bought her as a gift to me, not knowing or suspecting any thing of all this. He returned; but when he perceived that I had formed a connection with you as well, he feigned excuses on purpose that he might not give her; he said that if he could feel confidence that he should be preferred to yourself by me, so as not to apprehend that, when I had received her, I should forsake him, {then} he was ready to give her to me; but that he did fear this. But, so far as I can conjecture, he has set his affections upon the girl.
PHÆD. Any thing beyond that?
THAIS. Nothing; for I have made inquiry. Now, my Phædria, there are many reasons why I could wish to get her away from him. In the first place, because she was called my sister; moreover, that I may restore and deliver her to her friends. I am a lone woman; I have no one here, neither acquaintance nor relative; wherefore, Phædria, I am desirous by my good offices to secure friends. Prithee, do aid me in this, in order that it may be the more easily effected. Do allow him for the few next days to have the preference with me. Do you make no answer?
PHÆD. Most vile woman! Can I make you any answer after such behavior as this?
PAR. Well done, my {master}, I commend you; (_aside_) he’s galled at last. (_To PHÆDRIA._) You show yourself a man.
PHÆD. I was not aware what you were aiming at; “she was carried away from here, {when} a little child; my mother brought her up as though her own; she was called my sister; I wish to get her away, that I may restore her to her friends.” The meaning is, that all these expressions, in fine, now amount to this, {that} I am shut out, he is admitted. For what reason? Except that you love him more than me: and now you are afraid of her who has been brought {hither}, lest she should win him, such as he is, from yourself.
THAIS. I, afraid of that?
PHÆD. What else, then, gives you concern? Let me know. Is he the only person who makes presents? Have you found my bounty shut against you? Did I not, when you told me that you wished for a servant-maid from Æthiopia,[36] setting all other matters aside, go and seek for one? Then you said that you wanted a Eunuch, because ladies of quality[37] alone make use of them; I found {you one}. I yesterday paid twenty minæ[38] for them both. Though slighted by you, I {still} kept these things in mind; as a reward for so doing, I am despised by you.
THAIS. Phædria, what does this mean? Although I wish to get her away, and think that by these means it could most probably be effected; still, rather than make an enemy of you, I’ll do as you request me.
PHÆD. I {only} wish that you used that expression from your heart and truthfully, “rather than make an enemy of you.” If I could believe that this was said sincerely, I could put up with any thing.
PAR. (_aside._) He staggers; how instantaneously is he vanquished by a single expression!
THAIS. I, wretched woman, not speak from my heart? What, pray, did you ever ask of me in jest, but that you carried your point? I am unable to obtain {even} this of you, that you would grant {me} only two days.
PHÆD. If, indeed, {it is but} two days; but don’t let these days become twenty.
THAIS. Assuredly not more than two days, or--
PHÆD. “Or?” I won’t have it.
THAIS. It shall not be; only do allow me to obtain this of you.
PHÆD. Of course that which you desire must be done.
THAIS. I love you as you deserve; you act obligingly.
PHÆD. (_to PARMENO._) I shall go into the country; there I shall worry myself for the {next} two days: I’m resolved to do so; Thais must be humored. Do you, Parmeno, take care that they are brought hither.
PAR. Certainly.
PHÆD. For the next two days {then}, Thais, adieu.
THAIS. And the same to you, my Phædria; do you desire aught else?
PHÆD. What should I desire? That, present with the Captain, you may be as if absent; that night and day you may love me; may feel my absence; may dream of me; may be impatient for me; may think about me; may hope for me; may centre your delight in me; may be all in all with me; in fine, if you will, be my {very} life, as I am yours.
(_Exeunt PHÆDRIA and PARMENO._
SCENE III.
_THAIS alone._
THAIS, (_to herself._) Ah wretched me![39] perhaps now he puts but little faith in me, and forms his estimate of me from the dispositions of other women.[40] By my troth, I, who know my own self, am very sure of this, that I have not feigned any thing that’s false, and that no person is dearer to my heart than this {same} Phædria; and whatever in the present case I have done, for {this} girl’s sake have I done it; for I trust that now I have pretty nearly discovered her brother, a young man of very good family; and he has appointed this day to come to me at my house. I’ll go hence in-doors, and wait until he comes. (_She goes into her house._)
ACT THE SECOND.
SCENE I.
_Enter PHÆDRIA and PARMENO._
PHÆD. Mind that those people are taken {there}, as I ordered.
PAR. I’ll do {so}.
PHÆD. And carefully.
PAR. It shall be done.
PHÆD. And with all speed.
PAR. It shall be done.
PHÆD. Have you had sufficient instructions?
PAR. Dear me! to ask the question, as though it were a matter of difficulty. I wish that you were able, Phædria, to find any thing as easily as this present will be lost.
PHÆD. Together with it, I {myself} am lost, which concerns me more nearly. Don’t bear this with such a feeling of vexation.
PAR. By no means; on the contrary, I’ll see it done. But do you order any thing else?
PHÆD. Set off my present with words, as far as you can; and so far as you are able, do drive away that rival {of mine} from her.
PAR. Pshaw! I should have kept that in mind, even if you hadn’t reminded me.
PHÆD. I shall go into the country and remain there.
PAR. I agree with you. (_Moves as if going._)
PHÆD. But hark you!
PAR. What is it you want?
PHÆD. Are you of opinion that I can muster resolution and hold out so as not to come back within the time?
PAR. What, you? Upon my faith, I don’t think {so}; for either you’ll be returning at once, or by-and-by, at night, want of sleep will be driving you hither.
PHÆD. I’ll do some {laborious} work, that I may be continually fatigued, so as to sleep in spite of myself.
PAR. When wearied, you will be keeping awake; by this you will be making it worse.
PHÆD. Oh, you talk to no purpose, Parmeno: this softness of spirit, upon my faith, must be got rid of; I indulge myself too much. Could I not do without her, pray, if there were the necessity, even for a whole three days?
PAR. Whew! an entire three days! Take care what you are about.
PHÆD. My mind is made up. (_Exit._
SCENE II.
_PARMENO alone._
PAR. (_to himself._) Good Gods! What a malady is this! That a man should become so changed through love, that you wouldn’t know him to be the same person! Not any one was there[41] less inclined to folly than he, and no one more discreet {or} more temperate. But who is it that’s coming this way? Heyday! surely this is Gnatho, the Captain’s Parasite; he’s bringing along with him the damsel as a present to her. Heavens! How beautiful! No wonder if I make but a sorry figure here to-day with this decrepit Eunuch of mine. She surpasses Thais herself. (_Stands aside._)
SCENE III.
_Enter GNATHO at a distance, leading PAMPHILA._
GNA. (_to himself._) Immortal Gods! how much does one man excel another! What a difference there is between a wise person and a fool! This strongly came into my mind from the following circumstance. As I was coming along to-day, I met a certain person of this place, of my own rank and station, no mean fellow, one who, like myself, had guttled away his paternal estate; I saw him, shabby, dirty, sickly, beset with rags and years; --“What’s the meaning of this garb?” said I; {he answered}, “Because, wretch that I am, I’ve lost what I possessed: see to what I am reduced,-- all my acquaintances and friends forsake me.” On this I felt contempt for him in comparison with myself. “What!” said I, “you pitiful sluggard, have you so managed matters as to have no hope left? Have you lost your wits together with your estate? Don’t you see me, who have risen from the same condition? What a complexion I have, how spruce and well dressed, what portliness of person? I have every thing, {yet} have nothing; and although I possess nothing, still, of nothing am I in want.” “But I,” {said he}, “unhappily, can neither be a butt nor submit to blows.”[42] “What!” {said I}, “do you suppose it is managed by those means? You are quite mistaken. Once upon a time, in the early ages, there was a calling for that class; this is a new mode of coney-catching; I, in fact, have been the first to strike into this path. There is a class of men who strive to be the first in every thing, but are not; to these I make my court; I do not present myself to them to be laughed at; but I am the first to laugh with them, and at the same time to admire their parts: whatever they say, I commend; if they contradict that self-same thing, I commend again. Does any one deny? I deny: does he affirm? I affirm: in fine, I have {so} trained myself as to humor them in every thing. This calling is now by far the most productive.”
PAR. (_apart._) A clever fellow, upon my faith! From being fools he makes men mad outright.
GNA. (_to himself, continuing._) While we were thus talking, in the mean time we arrived at the market-place; overjoyed, all the confectioners ran at once to meet me; fishmongers,[43] butchers, cooks,[44] sausage-makers, {and} fishermen, whom, both when my fortunes were flourishing and when they were ruined, I had served, and often serve {still}: they complimented me, asked me to dinner, {and} gave me a hearty welcome. When this poor hungry wretch saw that I was in such great esteem, and that I obtained a living so easily, then the fellow began to entreat me that I would allow him to learn this {method} of me; I bade him become my follower[45] if he could; as the disciples of the Philosophers take their names from {the Philosophers} themselves, so too, the Parasites ought to be called Gnathonics.
PAR. (_apart to the Audience._) Do you see the effects of ease and feeding at another’s cost?
GNA. (_to himself, continuing._) But why do I delay to take this girl to Thais, and ask her to come to dinner? (_Aside, on seeing PARMENO._) But I see Parmeno, our rival’s servant, waiting before the door of Thais with a sorrowful air; all’s safe; no doubt these people are finding a cold welcome. I’m resolved to have some sport with this knave.
PAR. (_aside._) They fancy that, through this present, Thais is {quite} their own.
GNA. (_accosting PARMENO._) With his very best wishes Gnatho greets Parmeno, his very good friend. --What are you doing?
PAR. I’m standing.[46]
GNA. {So} I perceive. Pray, do you see any thing here that don’t please you?
PAR. Yourself.
GNA. I believe {you},-- but any thing else, pray?
PAR. Why so?
GNA. Because you are out of spirits.
PAR. Not in the least.
GNA. {Well}, don’t be {so}; but what think you of this slave? (_pointing to her._)
PAR. Really, not amiss.
GNA. (_aside._) I’ve galled the fellow.
PAR. (_aside, on overhearing him._) How mistaken you are in your notion!
GNA. How far do you suppose this gift will prove acceptable to Thais?
PAR. It’s this you mean to say now, that we are discarded there. Hark you, there are vicissitudes in all things.
GNA. For the next six months, Parmeno, I’ll set you at ease; you sha’n’t have to be running to and fro, or sitting up till daylight. Don’t I make you happy?
PAR. Me? O prodigiously!
GNA. That’s my way with my friends.
PAR. I commend {you}.
GNA. I’m detaining you; perhaps you were about to go somewhere else.
PAR. Nowhere.
GNA. In that case then, lend me your services a little; let me be introduced to her.
PAR. Very well; (_GNATHO knocks at the door, which immediately opens_) now the door is open for you, (_aside_) because you are bringing her.
GNA. (_going into the house of THAIS, ironically._) Should you like any one to be called out from here? (_Goes in with PAMPHILA, and shuts the door._)
SCENE IV.
_PARMENO, alone._
PAR. (_to himself._) {Only} let the next two days go by; you who, at present, in such high favor, are opening the door with one little finger, assuredly I’ll cause to be kicking at that {door} full oft, with your heels, to no purpose.
_Re-enter GNATHO from the house._
GNA. Still standing here, Parmeno? Why now, have you been left on guard here, that no go-between might perchance be secretly running from the Captain to her? (_Exit._
PAR. Smartly said; really {they ought to be} wonderful things to please the Captain. But I see my master’s youngest son coming this way; I wonder why he has come away from the Piraeus,[47] for he is at present on guard there in the public service. It’s not for nothing; he’s coming in a hurry, too; I can’t imagine why he’s looking around in all directions.
SCENE V.
_Enter CHÆREA on the other side of the stage, in haste._
CHÆ. (_to himself._) I’m utterly undone! The girl is nowhere; nor do I know where I am myself, to have lost sight of her. Where to inquire for her, where to search for her, whom to ask, which way to turn, I’m at a loss. I have only this hope; wherever she is, she can not long be concealed. O what beauteous features! from this moment I banish all other women from my thoughts; I can not endure these every-day beauties.
PAR. (_apart._) Why look, here’s the other one. He’s saying something, I don’t know what, about love. O unfortunate old man, {their father!} This assuredly is a youth, who, if he does begin, you will say that the other one was mere play and pastime, compared with what the madness of this one will cause.
CHÆ. (_to himself, aloud._) May all the Gods and Goddesses confound that old fellow who detained me to-day, and me as well who stopped for him, and in fact troubled myself a straw about him. But see, here’s Parmeno. (_Addressing him._) Good-morrow to you.
PAR. Why are you out of spirits, and why in {such} a hurry? Whence come you?
CHÆ. What, I? I’faith, I neither know whence I’m come, nor whither I’m going; so utterly have I lost myself.
PAR. How, pray?
CHÆ. I’m in love.
PAR. (_starting._) Ha!
CHÆ. Now, Parmeno, you may show what sort of a man you are. You know that you often promised me {to this effect}: “Chærea, do you only find some {object} to fall in love with; I’ll make you sensible of my usefulness in such matters,” when I used to be storing up my father’s provisions for you on the sly in your little room.[48]
PAR. To the point, {you} simpleton.
CHÆ. Upon my faith, this is the fact. Now, then, let your promises be made good, if you please, or if indeed the affair is a deserving one for you to exert your energies upon. The girl isn’t like our girls, whom their mothers are anxious to have with shoulders kept down, {and} chests well girthed,[49] that they may be slender. If one is a little inclined to plumpness, they declare that she’s training for a boxer,[50] {and} stint her food; although their constitutions are good, by their treatment they make them as slight as bulrushes; and so for that reason they are admired, {forsooth}.
PAR. What sort of a girl is this one of yours?
CHÆ. A new style of beauty.
PAR. (_ironically._) Astounding!
CHÆ. Her complexion genuine,[51] her flesh firm and full of juiciness.[52]
PAR. Her age?
CHÆ. Her age? Sixteen.
PAR. The very flower of youth.[53]
CHÆ. Do you make it your care to obtain her for me either by force, stealth, or entreaty; so that I only gain her, it matters not how to me.
PAR. Well, but to whom does the damsel belong?
CHÆ. {That}, i’faith, I don’t know.
PAR. Whence did she come?
CHÆ. {That}, just as much.
PAR. Where does she live?
CHÆ. Nor yet do I know that.
PAR. Where did you see her?
CHÆ. In the street.
PAR. How did you come to lose her?
CHÆ. Why, that’s what I was just now fretting myself about; and I do not believe that there is one individual to whom all good luck is a greater stranger than to myself. What ill fortune this is! I’m utterly undone!
PAR. What’s the matter?
CHÆ. Do you ask me? Do you know Archidemides, my father’s kinsman and years’-mate?
PAR. Why not?
CHÆ. He, while I was in full pursuit of her, met me.
PAR. Unseasonably, upon my faith.
CHÆ. Aye, unhappily, rather; for other {ordinary} matters are to be called “unseasonable,” Parmeno. It would be safe for me to make oath that I have not seen him for fully these six or seven months, until just now, when I least wanted, and there was the least occasion. Come now! isn’t this like a fatality? What do you say?
PAR. Extremely {so}.
CHÆ. At once he came running up to me, from a considerable distance, stooping, palsied, hanging his lip, {and} wheezing. “Halloo, Chærea! halloo!” said he; “I’ve something to say to you.” I stopped. “Do you know what {it is} I want with you?” {said he}. “Say on,” {said I}. “To-morrow my cause comes on,” {said he}. “What then?” “Be sure and tell your father to remember and be my advocate[54] in the morning.” In talking of this, an hour elapsed.[55] I inquired if he wanted any thing {else}. “That’s all,” said he. I left him. When I looked in this direction for the damsel, she had that very instant turned thia way down this street of ours.
PAR. (_aside._) It’s a wonder if he doesn’t mean her who has just now been made a present of to {Thais here}.
CHÆ. When I got here, she was nowhere to be seen.
PAR. Some attendants, I suppose, were accompanying the girl?
CHÆ. Yes; a Parasite, and a female servant.
PAR. (_apart._) It’s the very same. (_To CHÆREA._) It’s all over with you; make an end of it; you’ve said your last.[56]
CHÆ. You are thinking about something else.
PAR. Indeed I’m thinking of this same matter.
CHÆ. Pray, tell me, do you know her, or did you see her?
PAR. I did see, {and} I do know her; I am aware to what house she has been taken.
CHÆ. What, my {dear} Parmeno, do you know her, and are you aware where she is?
PAR. She has been brought here (_pointing_) to the house of Thais the Courtesan.[57] She has been made a present to her.
CHÆ. What opulent person is it, to be presenting a gift so precious as this?
PAR. The Captain Thraso, Phædria’s rival.
CHÆ. An unpleasant business for my brother, it should seem.
PAR. Aye, and if you did but know what present he is pitting against this present, you would say so still more.
CHÆ. Troth now, what is it, pray?
PAR. A Eunuch.[58]
CHÆ. What! that unsightly creature, pray, that he purchased yesterday, an old woman?
PAR. That very same.
CHÆ. To a certainty, the gentleman will be bundled out of doors, together with his present; but I wasn’t aware that this Thais is our neighbor.
PAR. It isn’t long {since she came}.
CHÆ. Unhappy wretch that I am! never to have seen her, even. Come now, just tell me, is she as handsome as she is reported to be?[59]
PAR. Quite.
CHÆ. But nothing in comparison with this damsel of mine?
PAR. Another thing altogether.
CHÆ. Troth now, Parmeno, prithee do contrive for me to gain possession of her.
PAR. I’ll do my best, and use all my endeavors; I’ll lend you my assistance. (_Going._) Do you want any thing else with me?
CHÆ. Where are you going now?
PAR. Home; to take those slaves to Thais, as your brother ordered me.
CHÆ. Oh, lucky Eunuch that! really, to be sent as a present to that house! PAR. Why so?
CHÆ. Do you ask? Ho will always see at home a fellow-servant of consummate beauty, {and} he conversing with her; he will be in the same house with her; sometimes he will take his meals with her; sometimes sleep near her.
PAR. What now, if you yourself were to be this fortunate person?
CHÆ. By what means, Parmeno? Tell me.
PAR. Do you assume his dress.
CHÆ. His dress! Well, what then?
PAR. I’ll take you there instead of him.
CHÆ. (_musing._) I hear {you}.
PAR. I’ll say that you are he.
CHÆ. I understand {you}.
PAR. You may enjoy those advantages which you just now said he {would enjoy}; you may take your meals together with her, be in company with her, touch her, dally with her, {and} sleep by her side; as not one of these women is acquainted with you, nor yet knows who you are. Besides, you are of an age and figure that you may easily pass for a eunuch.
CHÆ. You speak to the purpose; I never knew better counsel given. Well, let’s go in at once; dress me up, take me away, lead me to her, as fast as you can.
PAR. What do you mean? Really, I was only joking.
CHÆ. You talk nonsense.
PAR. I’m undone! Wretch that I am! what have I done? (_CHÆREA pushes him along._) Whither are you pushing me? You’ll throw me down presently. I entreat you, be quiet.
CHÆ. Let’s be off. (_Pushes him._)
PAR. Do you still persist?
CHÆ. I am resolved upon it.
PAR. Only take care that this isn’t too rash a project.
CHÆ. Certainly it isn’t; let me alone for that.
PAR. Aye, but I shall have to pay the penalty[60] for this?
CHÆ. Pshaw!
PAR. We shall be guilty of a disgraceful action.
CHÆ. What, is it disgraceful[61] to be taken to the house of a Courtesan, and to return the compliment upon those tormentors who treat us and our youthful age so scornfully, and who are always tormenting us in every way;-- to dupe them just as we are duped by them? Or is it right and proper that in preference my father should be wheedled {out of his money} by deceitful pretexts? Those who knew of this would blame me; while all would think the other a meritorious act.
PAR. What’s to be done in such case? If you are determined to do it, you must do it: but don’t you by-and-by be throwing the blame upon me.
CHÆE. I shall not do so.
PAR. Do you order me, {then}?
CHÆ. I order, charge, and command you; I will never disavow my authorizing you.
PAR. Follow me; may the Gods prosper it! (_They go into the house of LACHES._)
ACT THE THIRD.
SCENE I.
_Enter THRASO and GNATHO._
THRA. Did Thais really return me many thanks?
GNA. Exceeding {thanks}.
THRA. Was she delighted, say you?
GNA. Not so much, indeed, at the present itself, as because it was given by you; really, in right earnest, she does exult at that.
_Enter PARMENO unseen, from LACHES’ house._
PAR. (_apart._) I’ve come here to be on the look-out, that when there is an opportunity I may take {the presents}. But see, here’s the Captain.
THRA. Undoubtedly it is the case with me, that every thing I do is a cause for thankfulness.
GNA. Upon my faith, I’ve observed it.
THRA. The most mighty King,[62] even, always used to give me especial thanks for whatever I did; but not so to others.
GNA. He who has the wit that you have, often by his words appropriates to himself the glory that has been achieved by the labor of others.
THRA. You’ve just hit it.[63]
GNA. The king, then, kept you in his eye.[64]
THRA. Just so.
GNA. To enjoy your society.
THRA. True; he intrusted {to me} all his army, all his state secrets.
GNA. Astonishing!
THRA. Then if, on any occasion, a surfeit of society, or a dislike of business, came upon him, when he was desirous to take some recreation; just as though-- you understand?[65]
GNA. I know; just as though on occasion he would rid his mind of those anxieties.
THRA. You have it. Then he used to take me aside as his only boon companion.
GNA. Whew! You are telling of a King of refined taste.
THRA. Aye, he is a person of that sort; a man of but very few acquaintanceships.
GNA. (_aside._) Indeed, of none,[66] I fancy, if he’s on intimate terms with you.
THRA. All the people envied me, and attacked me privately. I don’t care one straw. They envied me dreadfully; but one in particular, whom {the King} had appointed over the Indian elephants.[67] Once, when he became particularly troublesome, “Prithee, Strato,” said I, “are you so fierce because you hold command over the wild beasts?”
GNA. Cleverly said, upon my faith, and shrewdly. Astounding! You did give the fellow a home thrust. What said he?
THRA. Dumfounded, instantaneously.
GNA. How could he be otherwise?
PAR. (_apart._) Ye Gods, by our trust in you! a lost and miserable fellow the one, and the other a scoundrel.
THRA. Well then, about that matter, Gnatho, the way in which I touched up the Rhodian at a banquet-- did I never tell you?
GNA. Never; but pray, do tell me. (_Aside._) I’ve heard it more than a thousand times already.
THRA. There was in my company at a banquet, this young man of Rhodes, whom I’m speaking of. By chance I had a mistress there; he began to toy with her, and to annoy me. “What are you doing, sir impudence?” said I to the fellow; “a hare yourself, and looking out for game?”[68]
GNA. (_pretending to laugh very heartily._) Ha, ha, ha!
THRA. What’s the matter?
GNA. How apt, how smart, how clever; nothing {could be} more excellent. Prithee, was this a saying of yours? I fancied it was an old one.
THRA. Did you ever hear it before?
GNA. Many a time; and it is mentioned among the first-rate ones.
THRA. It’s my own.
GNA. I’m sorry {though} that it was said to a thoughtless young man, and one of respectability.
PAR. (_apart._) May the Gods confound you!
GNA. Pray, what {did} he {do}?
THRA. Quite disconcerted. All who were present were dying with laughter; in short, they were all quite afraid of me.
GNA. Not without reason.
THRA. But hark you, had I best clear myself of this to Thais, as to her suspicion that I’m fond of this girl?
GNA. By no means: on the contrary, rather increase her jealousy.
THRA. Why so?
GNA. Do you ask me? Don’t you see, if on any occasion she makes mention of Phædria or commends him, to provoke you----
THRA. I understand.
GNA. That such may not be the case, this method is the only remedy. When she speaks of Phædria, do you instantly {mention} Pamphila. If at any time she says, “Let’s invite Phædria to make one,” {do} you {say}, “Let’s {ask} Pamphila to sing.” If she praises his good looks, do you, on the other hand, praise hers. In short, do you return like for like, which will mortify her.
THRA. If, indeed, she loved me,[69] this might be of some use, Gnatho.
GNA. Since she is impatient for and loves that which you give her, she already loves you; as it is, {then}, it is an easy matter for her to feel vexed. She will be always afraid lest the presents which she herself is now getting, you may on some occasion be taking elsewhere.
THRA. Well said; that never came into my mind.
GNA. Nonsense. You never thought about it; else how much more readily would you yourself have hit upon it, Thraso!
SCENE II.
_Enter THAIS from her house, attended by PYTHIAS._
THAIS, (_as she comes out._) I thought I just now heard the Captain’s voice. And look, here he is. Welcome, my {dear} Thraso.
THRA. O my Thais, my sweet one, how are you? How much do you love me in return for that music girl?
PAR. (_apart._) How polite! What a beginning he has made on meeting her!
THAIS. Very much, as you deserve.
GNA. Let’s go to dinner then. (_To THRASO._) What do you stand {here} for?
PAR. (_apart._) Then there’s the other one: you would declare that he was born for his belly’s sake.
THRA. When you please; I sha’n’t delay.
PAR. (_apart._) I’ll accost them, and pretend as though I had just come out. (_He comes forward._) Are you going any where, Thais?
THAIS. Ha! Parmeno; well done; {just} going out for the day.
PAR. Where?
THAIS, (_aside, pointing at THRASO._) Why! don’t you see him?
PAR. (_aside._) I see him, and I’m sorry for it. (_Aloud._) Phædria’s presents are ready for you when you please.
THRA. (_impatiently._) Why are we to stand {here}? Why don’t we be off?
PAR. (_to THRASO._) Troth now, pray, do let us, with your leave, present to her the things we intend, {and} accost and speak to her.
THRA. (_ironically._) Very fine presents, I suppose, or {at least} equal to mine.
PAR. The fact will prove itself. (_Goes to the door of LACHES’ house and calls._) Ho there! bid those people come out of doors at once, as I ordered.
_Enter from the house a BLACK GIRL._
PAR. Do you step forward this way, (_To THAIS._) She comes all the way from Æthiopia.
THRA. (_contemptuously._) Here are some three minæ in value.
GNA. Hardly so much.
PAR. Where are you, Dorus? Step this way.
_Enter CHÆREA from the house, dressed like the EUNUCH._
PAR. There’s a Eunuch for you-- of what a genteel appearance! of what a prime age!
THAIS. God bless me, he’s handsome.
PAR. What say you, Gnatho? Do you see any thing to find fault with? And what {say} you, Thraso? (_Aside._) They hold their tongues; they praise him sufficiently {thereby}. (_To THAIS._) Make trial of him in literature, try him in exercises,[70] and in music; I’ll warrant him well skilled in what it becomes a gentleman to know.
THRA. That Eunuch, if occasion served,[71] even in my sober senses, I--
PAR. And he who has sent these things makes no request that you will live for him alone, and that for his own sake others may be excluded; he neither tells of battles nor shows his scars, nor does he restrict you as (_looking at THRASO_) a certain person does; but when it is not inconvenient, whenever you think fit, whenever you have the time, he is satisfied to be admitted.
THRA. (_to GNATHO, contemptuously._) It appears that this is the servant of some beggarly, wretched master.
GNA. Why, faith, no person, I’m quite sure of that, could possibly put up with him, who had the means to get another.
PAR. You hold your tongue-- a fellow whom I consider beneath all men of the very lowest grade: for when you can bring yourself to flatter that fellow (_pointing at THRASO_), I do believe you could pick your victuals out of the {very} flames.[72]
THRA. Are we to go now?
THAIS. I’ll take these in-doors first (_pointing to CHÆREA and the ÆTHIOPIAN_), and at the same time I’ll order what I wish; after that I’ll return immediately. (_Goes into the house with PYTHIAS, CHÆREA, and the SLAVE._)
THRA. (_to GNATHO._) I shall be off. Do you wait for her.
PAR. It is not a proper thing for a general to be walking in the street with a mistress.
THRA. Why should I use many words with you? You are the very ape of your master. (_Exit PARMENO._
GNA. (_laughing._) Ha, ha, ha!
THRA. What are you laughing at?
GNA. At what you were mentioning just now; that saying, too, about the Rhodian, recurred to my mind. But Thais is coming out.
THRA. You go before; take care that every thing is ready at home.
GNA. Very well. (_Exit._
_Re-enter THAIS, with PYTHIAS and FEMALE ATTENDANTS._
THAIS. Take care, Pythias, and be sure that if Chremes should happen to come,[73] to beg him to wait; if that is not convenient, then to come again; if he can not do that, bring him to me.
PYTH. I’ll do so.
THAIS. Well, what else was I intending to say? O, do you take particular care of that young woman; be sure that you keep at home.
THRA. Let us begone.
THAIS, (_to her attendants._) You follow me. (_Exeunt THAIS and THRASO, followed by the Attendants. PYTHIAS goes into the house._)
SCENE III.
_Enter CHREMES._
CHREM. (_to himself._) Why, really, the more and more I think of it, I shouldn’t be surprised if this Thais should be doing me {some} great mischief; so cunningly do I perceive myself beset by her. Even on the occasion when she first requested me to be fetched to her (any one might ask me, “What business had you with her?” Really I don’t know.) When I came, she found an excuse for me to remain there; she said that she had been offering a sacrifice,[74] and that she was desirous to speak upon some important business with me. Even then I had a suspicion that all these things were being done for her artful purposes. She takes her place beside me; pays every attention to me; seeks an opportunity of conversation. When {the conversation} flagged, she turned off to this point-- how long since my father and mother died? I said that it was now a long time ago. Whether I had any country-house at Sunium, and how far from the sea? I suppose that this has taken her fancy, {and} she expects to get it away from me. Then at last, whether any little sister of mine had been lost from there; whether any person was with her; what she had about her when she was lost; whether any one could recognize her. Why should she make these inquiries? Unless, perhaps, she pretends-- so great is her assurance-- that she herself is the same person that was formerly lost when a little girl. But if she is alive, she is sixteen years old, not older; {whereas} Thais is somewhat older than I am. She has sent to press me earnestly to come. Either let her speak out what she wants, or not be troublesome; I assuredly shall not come a third time (_knocking at the door of THAIS_). Ho! there, ho! there! Is any one here? It’s I, Chremes.
SCENE IV.
_Enter PYTHIAS from the house._
PYTH. O most charming, dear creature!
CHREM. (_apart._) I said there was a design upon me.
PYTH. Thais entreated you most earnestly to come again to-morrow.
CHREM. I’m going into the country.
PYTH. Do, there’s a dear sir.
CHREM. I can not, I tell you.
PYTH. Then stay here at our house till she comes back.
CHREM. Nothing less likely.
PYTH. Why, my dear Chremes? (_Taking hold of him._)
CHREM. (_shaking her off._) Away to perdition with you!
PYTH. If you are so determined about it, pray do step over to the place where she is.
CHREM. I’ll go {there}.
PYTH. (_calling at the door._) {Here}, Dorias (_DORIAS enters_), show this person directly to the Captain’s.
(_Exit CHREMES with DORIAS, PYTHIAS goes into the house._
SCENE V.
_Enter ANTIPHO._
ANT. (_to himself._) Yesterday some young fellows of us agreed together at the Piræus that we were to go shares today in a club-entertainment. We gave Chærea charge of this matter; our rings were given[75] as {pledges}; the place and time arranged. The time has {now} gone by; at the place appointed there was nothing ready. The fellow himself is nowhere {to be} met with; I neither know what to say nor what to suppose. Now the rest have commissioned me with this business, to look for him. I’ll go see, therefore, if he’s at home. But who’s this, I wonder, coming out of Thais’s? Is it he, or is it not? ’Tis the very man! What, sort of being is this? What kind of garb is this? What mischief is going on now? I can not sufficiently wonder or conjecture. But, whatever it is, I should like first at a distance to try and find out. (_He stands apart._)
SCENE VI.
_Enter CHÆREA from the house of Thais, in the EUNUCH’S dress._
CHÆ. (_looking around, then aloud to himself._) Is there anybody here? There’s no one. Is there any one following me from there? There’s not a person. Now am I not at liberty to give vent to these raptures? O supreme Jupiter! now assuredly is the time for me to meet my death,[76] when I can so well endure it; lest my life should sully this ecstasy with some disaster. But is there now no inquisitive person to be intruding upon me, to be following me wherever I go, to be deafening me, worrying me to death, with asking questions; why {thus} transported, or why {so} overjoyed, whither I’m going, whence I’m come, where I got this garb, what is my object, whether I’m in my senses or whether downright mad?
ANT. (_apart._) I’ll accost him, and I’ll do him the favor which I see he’s wishing for. (_Accosting him._) Chærea, why are you thus transported? What’s the object of this garb? Why is it that you’re so overjoyed? What is the meaning of this? Are you quite right in your senses? Why do you stare at me? What have you to say?
CHÆ. O joyous day! O welcome, my friend! There’s not one in all the world whom I would rather wish to see at this moment than yourself.
ANT. Pray, do tell me what all this means.
CHÆ. Nay rather, i’faith, I beg of you to listen to me. Do you know the mistress whom my brother is so fond of?
ANT. I know her; I suppose you mean Thais?
CHÆ. The very same.
ANT. So far I recollect.
CHÆ. To-day a certain damsel was presented to her. Why now should I extol or commend her beauty to you, Antipho, since you yourself know how nice a judge of beauty I am? I have been smitten by her.
ANT. Do you say so?
CHÆ. If you saw her, I am sure you would say she’s exquisite. What need of many words? I fell in love with her. By good luck there was at our house a certain Eunuch, whom my brother had purchased for Thais, and he had not as yet been sent to her. On this occasion, Parmeno, our servant, made a suggestion to me, which I adopted.
ANT. What was it?
CHÆ. {Be} quiet, {and} you shall hear the sooner; to change clothes with him, and order myself to be taken there in his stead.
ANT. What, instead of the Eunuch?
CHÆ. The fact.
ANT. To receive what advantage, pray, from this plan?
CHÆ. Do you ask? That I might see, hear, and be in company with her whom I loved, Antipho. Is {that} a slight motive, or a poor reason? I was presented to {the} woman. She, as soon as she received me, joyfully took me home to her house and intrusted the damsel--
ANT. To whom? To you?
CHÆ. To me.
ANT. (_ironically._) In perfect safety, at all events.
CHÆ. She gave orders that we male was to come near her, and commanded me not to stir away from her; that I was to remain alone with her in the inner apartments.[77] Looking bashfully on the ground, I nodded assent.
ANT. (_ironically._) Poor fellow!
CHÆ. (_continuing._) “I am going out,” said she, “to dinner.” She took her maids with her; a few novices of girls[78] remained, to be about her. These immediately made preparations for her to bathe. I urged them to make haste. While preparations were being made, the damsel sat in a room looking up at a certain painting,[79] in which was represented how Jove[80] is said once to have sent a golden shower into the bosom of Danaë. I myself began to look at it as well, and as he had in former times played the like game, I felt extremely delighted that a God should change himself into money, and slily come through the tiles of another person’s house, to deceive the fair one by means of a shower. But what God was {this}? He who shakes the most lofty temples of heaven with his thunders. Was I, a poor creature of a mortal,[81] not to do the same? Certainly, I was to do it, and without hesitation. While I was thinking over these matters with myself, the damsel meantime was fetched away to bathe; she went, bathed, and came back; after which they laid her on a couch. I stood waiting to see if they gave me any orders. One came up, “Here, Dorus,” said she, “take this fan,[82] and let her have a little air in this fashion, while we are bathing; when we have bathed, if you like, you may bathe too.” With a demure air I took it.
ANT. Really, I should very much have liked to see that impudent face of yours just then, and what figure a great donkey like you made, holding a fan!
CHÆ. (_continuing._) Hardly had she said this, when all, in a moment, betook themselves off: away they went to bathe, and chattered aloud;[83] just as the way is when masters are absent. Meanwhile, sleep overtook the damsel; I slily looked askance[84] through the fan;[85] this way (_showing how_): at the same time I looked round in all directions, to see whether all was quite safe. I saw that it was. I bolted the door.
ANT. What then?
CHÆ. Eh? What then, {you} simpleton?
ANT. I own I am.
CHÆ. Was I to let slip the opportunity offered me, so excellent, so short-lived,[86] so longed for, so unexpected. In that case, i’faith, I really should have been the person I was pretending to be.
ANT. Troth, you certainly are in the right; but, meantime, what has been arranged about the club-entertainment?
CHÆ. All’s ready.
ANT. You are a clever band; but where? At your house?
CHÆ. No, at Discus’s, our freedman.
ANT. That’s a long way off.
CHÆ. Then let’s make so much the greater haste.
ANT. Change your dress.
CHÆ. Where am I to change it? I’m at a loss; for at present I’m an exile from home; I’m afraid of my brother, lest he should be in-doors: and then again of my father, lest he should have returned from the country by this.
ANT. Let’s go to my house; there is the nearest place for you to change.
CHÆ. You say right. Let’s be off; besides, I want to take counsel with you about this girl, by what means I may be able to secure the future possession of her.
ANT. Very well. (_Exeunt._
ACT THE FOURTH.
SCENE I.
_Enter DORIAS, with a casket in her hand._
DORIAS (_to herself._) So may the Gods bless me, but from what I have seen, I’m terribly afraid that this mad fellow will be guilty of some disturbance to-day or of some violence to Thais. For when this young man, the brother of the damsel, arrived, she begged the Captain to order him to be admitted; he immediately began to get into a passion, and yet didn’t dare refuse; Thais still insisted that he would invite the man in. This she did for the sake of detaining him; because there was no opportunity {just then} of telling him what she wanted to disclose about her sister. He was invited in, and took his seat. Then she entered into discourse with him. But the Captain, fancying it was a rival brought before his {very} eyes, wanted in his turn to mortify her: “Hark you, boy,” said he, “go fetch Pamphila, that she may amuse us here.” She exclaimed, “At a banquet! Certainly not.” The Captain still persisted to a downright quarrel. Meanwhile my mistress secretly took off her golden {jewels},[87] and gave them to me to take away: this is a sign, I’m sure, that she’ll betake herself from there as soon as she possibly can.
(_Goes into the house._)
SCENE II.
_Enter PHÆDRIA._
PHÆD. (_to himself._) While I was going[88] into the country, I began on the road, as it mostly happens when there is any anxiety on the mind, to reflect with myself upon one thing after another, and upon every thing in the worst light. What need of words? While I was musing thus, inadvertently I passed my country-house. I had already got some distance from it, when I perceived this; I returned again, really feeling quite uneasy; when I came to the very turning that leads to {the house}, I came to a stop, {and} began to reason with myself; “What! must I stay here alone for two days without her? Well, and what then? It’s nothing at all. What? Nothing at all? Well now, if I haven’t the privilege of touching her, am I not even to have that of seeing her? If I may not do the one, at least I may the other. Surely to love at a distance[89] {even}, is better than nothing at all.” I purposely passed the house. But how’s this, that Pythias is suddenly hurrying out in such a fright? (_Stands apart._)
SCENE III.
_Enter PYTHIAS and DORIAS in haste from the house of THAIS._
PYTH. (_aloud._) Where, wretch that I am, shall I find this wicked and impious fellow? Or where look for him? That he should dare to commit so audacious a crime as this! I’m ruined outright!
PHÆD. (_apart._) I dread what this may be.
PYTH. Besides, too, the villain, after he had abused the girl, rent all the poor thing’s clothes, and tore her hair as well.
PHÆD. (_apart, in surprise._) Ha!
PYTH. If he were just now in my reach, how eagerly would I fly at that villain’s eyes with my nails!
PHÆD. (_apart._) Really I can’t imagine what disturbance has happened to us at home in my absence. I’ll accost them. (_Going up to them._) What’s the matter? Why in such haste? Or whom are you looking for, Pythias?
PYTH. Why, Phædria, whom should I be looking for? Away with you, as you deserve, with such fine presents of yours.
PHÆD. What is the matter?
PYTH. What, do you ask? The Eunuch you gave us, what confusion he has caused. He has ravished the girl whom the Captain made present of to my mistress.
PHÆD. What is it you say?
PYTH. I’m ruined outright!
PHÆD. You are drunk.
PYTH. I wish that they were so, who wish ill to me.
DORIAS. Oh, prithee, my {dear} Pythias, what a monstrous thing this is!
PHÆD. You are out of your senses. How could a Eunuch possibly do this?
PYTH. I know nothing about him: as to what he has done, the thing speaks for itself. The girl is in tears; and when you ask her what’s the matter, she does not dare tell. But he, a precious fellow, is nowhere to be seen. To my sorrow I suspect too, that when he took himself off he carried something away from the house.
PHÆD. I can not enough wonder, whither this varlet can possibly have betaken himself to any distance from here; unless perhaps he has returned home to our house.
PYTH. Pray, go and see whether he is there.
PHÆD. I’ll let you know immediately. (_Goes into the house of LACHES._)
DORIAS. Ruined outright! Prithee, my dear, I never did so much as hear of a deed so abominable!
PYTH. Why, faith, I had heard that they were extremely fond of the women, but were incapable; unfortunately {what has happened} never came into my mind; otherwise I should have shut him up somewhere, and not have intrusted the girl to him.
SCENE IV.
_Enter PHÆDRIA from the house of LACHES, with DORUS in CHÆREA’S clothes._
PHÆD. (_dragging him out._) Come out, you villain! What, do you lag behind, you runaway? Out with you, you sorry bargain!
DORUS (_crying out._) Mercy, I do entreat you!
PHÆD. Oh, do look at that! How the villain distorts his face. What means your coming back hither? Why this change of dress? What have you to say? If I had delayed a moment, Pythias, I shouldn’t have found him at home: he had just prepared, in this fashion, for flight. (_Pointing at his dress._)
PYTH. Have you caught the fellow, pray?
PHÆD. Caught him, why not?
PYTH. O well done!
DORIAS. Upon my faith that really is capital!
PYTH. Where is he?
PHÆD. Do you ask the question? Don’t you see him? (_Pointing to the EUNUCH._)
PYTH. (_staring about._) See whom, pray?
PHÆD. This fellow, to be sure (_pointing_).
PYTH. What person is this?
PHÆD. The same that was brought to your house to-day.
PYTH. Not one of our people has ever beheld this person with her eyes, Phædria.
PHÆD. Not beheld him?
PYTH. Prithee, did you fancy that this was he who was brought to our house?
PHÆD. Why, I had no other.
PYTH. O dear! this one really isn’t to be compared with the other. He was of a handsome and genteel appearance.
PHÆD. He seemed {so}, just then, because he was decked out in party-colored clothes:[90] now he appears ugly, for this reason-- because he hasn’t got them on.
PYTH. Prithee, do hold your tongue; as though indeed the difference was so trifling. A young man was brought to our house to-day, whom, really, Phædria, you would have liked to look upon. This is a withered, antiquated, lethargic, old fellow, with a speckled complexion.[91]
PHÆD. (_starting._) Hah! What tale is this? You’ll so be-fool me that I sha’n’t know what I bought. (_To DORUS._) How now, sirrah, did I not buy you?
DORUS. You did buy {me}.
PYTH. Bid him answer me in my turn.
PHÆD. Question {him}.
PYTH. (_to DORUS._) Did you come here to-day to our house? (_DORUS shakes his head._) He says, no. But it was the other one that came, about sixteen years of age; whom Parmeno brought with him.
PHÆD. (_to DORUS._) Well now, in the first place tell me this, where did you get that dress that you have on? What, are you silent? Monster of a fellow, are you not going to speak (_Shakes him._)
DORUS. Chærea came.
PHÆD. What, my brother?
DORUS. Yes.
PHÆD. When?
DORUS. To-day.
PHÆD. How long since?
DORUS. Just now.
PHÆD. With whom?
DORUS. With Parmeno.
PHÆD. Did you know him before?
DORUS. No.
PHÆD. How did you know he was my brother?
DORUS. Parmeno said he was. He gave me these clothes.
PHÆD. I’m undone!
DORUS. He himself put on mine; afterward, they both went out together.
PYTH. Now are you quite satisfied that I am sober, and that we have told you no falsehood? Is it now sufficiently evident that the girl has been ravished?
PHÆD. Avaunt, you beast, do you believe what he says?
PYTH. What is there to believe? The thing speaks for itself.
PHÆD. (_apart to DORUS._) Step aside a little this way. Do you hear? (_DORUS steps aside._) A little further still. That will do. Now tell me this once more; did Chærea take your clothes off you?
DORUS. He did.
PHÆD. And did he put them on?
DORUS. He did.
PHÆD. And was he brought here instead of you?
DORUS. Yes.
PHÆD. Great Jupiter! O wicked and audacious fellow!
PYTH. Woe unto me! Now at last will you believe that we have been insulted in a disgraceful manner?
PHÆD. It is no wonder that you believe what the fellow says. (_Aside._) What I’m to do I know not. (_Aside to DORUS._) Hark you, deny {it all} again. (_Aloud._) Can I not this day extract the truth from you? Did you {really} see my brother Chærea?
DORUS. No.
PHÆD. He can’t be brought to confess without being punished, I see: follow me this way. At one moment he affirms, at another denies. (_Aside._) Ask pardon of me.
DORUS. Indeed, I do entreat you, Phædria.
PHÆD. (_kicking him._) Be off in-doors.
DORUS. Oh! oh!
PHÆD. (_aside._) How in any other fashion to get decently out of this I don’t know; for really it’s all up {with me}. (_Aloud, with pretended indignation._) Will you be trifling with me even here, you knave? (_Follows DORUS into the house._)
SCENE V.
_PYTHIAS and DORIAS._
PYTH. I’m as certain that this is the contrivance of Parmeno as that I’m alive.
DORIAS. So it is, {no doubt}.
PYTH. I’faith, I’ll find out a method to-day to be even with him. But now, what do you think ought to be done, Dorias?
DORIAS. Do you mean with regard to this girl?
PYTH. Yes; whether I ought to mention it or be silent?
DORIAS. Upon my word, if you are prudent, you won’t know what you do know, either about the Eunuch or the girl’s misfortune. By this method you’ll both rid yourself of all perplexity, and have done a service to her.[92] Say this only, that Dorus has run away.
PYTH. I’ll do so.
DORIAS. But don’t I see Chremes? Thais will be here just now.
PYTH. Why so?
DORIAS. Because when I came away from there, a quarrel had just commenced between them.
PYTH. Take in these golden {trinkets}; I shall learn from him what’s the matter. (_DORIAS takes the casket into the house._)
SCENE VI.
_Enter CHREMES, somewhat drunk._
CHREM. Heyday! upon my faith, I’ve been bamboozled: the wine that I’ve drunk has got the upper hand. But, so long as I was reclining, how extremely sober I did seem to myself to be; when I got up, neither feet nor senses were quite equal to their duty.
PYTH. Chremes!
CHREM. (_turning round._) Who’s that? What, Pythias; dear me, how much more charming you now seem to me than a short time since!
PYTH. Troth now, you are much more merry, that’s certain.
CHREM. Upon my faith, it is a true saying, that “Venus grows cold without Ceres and Bacchus.” But has Thais got here long before me?
PYTH. Has she already come away from the Captain’s?
CHREM. A long time ago; an age since. There has been a most violent quarrel between them.
PYTH. Did she say nothing about you following her?
CHREM. Nothing at all; only, on going away, she gave me a nod.
PYTH. Well now, wasn’t that enough?
CHREM. Why, I didn’t know that she meant that, until the Captain gave me an explanation, because I was dull of comprehension; for he bundled me out of the house. But look, here she is; I wonder how it was I got here before her.
SCENE VII.
_Enter THAIS._
THAIS. (_to herself._) I really do believe that he’ll be here presently, to force her away from me. Let him come; but if he touches her with a single finger, that instant his eyes shall be torn out. I can put up with his impertinences and his high-sounding words, as long as they remain words: but if they are turned into realities, he shall get a drubbing.
CHREM. Thais, I’ve been here some time.
THAIS. O my {dear} Chremes, you are the very person I was wanting. Are you aware that this quarrel took place on your account, and that the whole of this affair, in fact, bore reference to yourself?
CHREM. To me? How so, pray?
THAIS. Because, while I’ve been doing my best to recover and restore your sister to you, this and a great deal more like it I’ve had to put up with.
CHREM. Where is she?
THAIS. At home, at my house.
CHREM. (_starting._) Hah!
THAIS. What’s the matter? She has been brought up in a manner worthy of yourself and of her.
CHREM. What is it you say?
THAIS. That which is the fact. Her I present to you, nor do I ask of you any return for her.
CHREM. Thanks are both felt and shall be returned in such way, Thais, as you deserve.
THAIS. But still, take care, Chremes, that you don’t lose her, before you receive her from me; for it is she, whom the Captain is now coming to take away from me by force. Do you go, Pythias, and bring out of the house the casket with the tokens.[93]
CHREM. (_looking down the side Scene._) Don’t you see him, Thais?
PYTH. (_to THAIS._) Where is it put?
THAIS. In the clothes’ chest. Tiresome {creature}, why do you delay? (_PYTHIAS goes into the house._)
CHREM. What a large body of troops the Captain is bringing with him against you. Bless me!
THAIS. Prithee, are you frightened, my {dear} sir?
CHREM. Get out with you. What, I frightened? There’s not a man alive less so.
THAIS. Then now is the time to prove it.
CHREM. Why, I wonder what sort of a man you take me to be.
THAIS. Nay, and consider this too; the person that you have to deal with is a foreigner;[94] of less influence than you, less known, and one that has fewer friends here.
CHREM. I’m aware of that; but it’s foolish to run the risk of what you are able to avoid. I had rather we should prevent it, than, having received an injury, avenge ourselves upon him. Do you go in and fasten the door, while I run across hence to the Forum; I should like us to have the aid of some legal adviser in this disturbance. (_Moves, as if going._)
THAIS. (_holding him._) Stay.
CHREM. Let me go, I’ll be here presently.
THAIS. There’s no occasion, Chremes. Only say that she is your sister, and that you lost her {when} a little girl, {and} have now recognized her; {then} show the tokens.
_Re-enter PYTHIAS from the house, with the trinkets._
PYTH. (_giving them to THAIS._) Here they are.
THAIS. (_giving them to CHREMES._) Take them. If he offers any violence, summon the fellow to justice; do you understand me?
CHREM. Perfectly.
THAIS. Take care and say this with presence of mind.
CHREM. I’ll take care.
THAIS. Gather up your cloak. (_Aside._) Undone! the very person whom I’ve provided as a champion, wants one himself. (_They all go into the house._)
SCENE VIII.
_Enter THRASO, followed by GNATHO, SANGA, and other Attendants._
THRA. Am I to submit, Gnatho, to such a glaring affront as this being put upon me? I’d die sooner. Simalio, Donax, Syriscus, follow me! First, I’ll storm the house.
GNA. Quite right.
THRA. I’ll carry off the girl.
GNA. Very good.
THRA. I’ll give her own self a mauling.
GNA. Very proper.
THRA. (_arranging the men._) Advance hither to the main body, Donax, with your crowbar; you, Simalio, to the left wing; you, Syriscus, to the right. Bring up the rest; where’s the centurion Sanga, and his maniple[95] of rogues?
SAN. (_coming forward._) See, here he is.
THRA. What, you booby, do you think of fighting with a dish-clout,[96] to be bringing that here?
SAN. What, I? I knew the valor of the general, and the prowess of the soldiers; {and} that this could not possibly go on without bloodshed; how was I to wipe the wounds?
THRA. Where are the others?
SAN. Plague on you, what others? Sannio is the only one left on guard at home.
THRA. (to GNATHO.) Do you draw up your men in battle order; I’ll be behind the second rank;[97] from that position I’ll give the word to all. (_Takes his place behind the second rank._)
GNA. (_aside._) That’s showing prudence; as soon as he has drawn them up, he secures a retreat for himself.
THRA. (_pointing to the arrangements._) This is just the way Pyrrhus used to proceed.[98]
_CHREMES and THAIS appear above at a window._
CHREM. Do you see, Thais, what plan he is upon? Assuredly, that advice of mine about closing the door was good.
THAIS. He who now seems to you to be a hero, is in reality a mere vaporer; don’t be alarmed.
THRA. (_to GNATHO._) What seems {best to you}?
GNA. I could very much[99] like a sling to be given you just now, that you might pelt them from here on the sly at a distance; they would be taking to flight.
THRA. (_to GNATHO._) But look (_pointing_), I see Thais there herself.
GNA. How soon are we to fall to?
THRA. Hold (_holding him back_); it behooves a prudent person to make trial of every thing before arms. How do you know but that she may do what I bid her without compulsion?
GNA. Ye Gods, by our trust in you, what a thing it is to be wise! I never come near you but what I go away from you the wiser.
THRA. Thais, in the first place, answer me this. When I presented you that girl, did you not say that you would give yourself up to me alone for some days to come?
THAIS. Well, what then?
THRA. Do you ask the question? You, who have been and brought your lover under my very eyes? What business had you with him? With him, too, you clandestinely betook yourself away from me.
THAIS. I chose {to do so}.
THRA. Then give me back Pamphila; unless you had rather she were taken away by force.
CHREM. Give her back to you, or you lay hands upon her? Of all the--
GNA. Ha! What are you about? Hold your tongue.
THRA. What do you mean? Am I not to touch my own?
CHREM. Your own, indeed, {you} gallows-bird![100]
GNA. (_to CHREMES._) Have a care, if you please. You don’t know what kind of man you are abusing now.
CHREM. (_to GNATHO._) Won’t you be off from here? Do you know how matters stand with you? If you cause any disturbance here to-day, I’ll make you remember the place, and day, and me too, for the rest of your life.
GNA. I pity you, who are making so great a man as this your enemy.
CHREM. I’ll break your head this instant if you are not off.
GNA. Do you really say so, puppy? Is it that you are at?
THRA. (_to CHREMES._) What fellow are you? What do you mean? What business have you with her?
CHREM. I’ll let you know: in the first place, I assert that she is a freeborn woman.
THRA. (_starting._) Ha!
CHREM. A citizen of Attica.
THRA. Whew!
CHREM. My own sister.
THRA. Brazen face!
CHREM. Now, therefore, Captain, I give you warning; don’t you use any violence toward her. Thais, I’m going to Sophrona, the nurse, that I may bring her here and show her these tokens.
THRA. What! Are you to prevent me from touching what’s my own?
CHREM. I will prevent it, I tell you.
GNA. (_to THRASO._) Do you hear him? He is convicting himself of theft. Is not that enough for you?
THRA. Do you say the same, Thais?
THAIS. Go, find some one to answer you. (_She and CHREMES go away from the window._)
THRA. (_to GNATHO._) What are we to do now?
GNA. Why, go back again: she’ll soon be with you, of her own accord, to entreat forgiveness.
THRA. Do you think so?
GNA. Certainly, yes. I know the disposition of women: when you will, they won’t; when you won’t, they set their hearts upon you of their own inclination.
THRA. You judge right.
GNA. Shall I dismiss the army then?
THRA. Whenever you like.
GNA. Sanga, as befits gallant soldiers,[101] take care in your turn to remember your homes and hearths.
SAN. My thoughts have been for some time among the sauce-pans.
GNA. You are a worthy fellow.
THRA. (_putting himself at their head._) You follow me this way.
(_Exeunt omnes._
ACT THE FIFTH.
SCENE I.
_Enter THAIS from her house, followed by PYTHIAS._
THAIS. What! do you persist, hussy, in talking ambiguously to me? “I do know;” “I don’t know;” “he has gone off;” “I have heard;” “I wasn’t there.” Don’t you mean to tell me plainly, whatever it is? The girl in tears, with her garments torn, is mute; the Eunuch is off: for what reason? What has happened? Won’t you speak?
PYTH. Wretch that I am, what am I to say to you? They declare that he was not a Eunuch.
THAIS. What was he then?
PYTH. That Chærea.
THAIS. What Chærea?
PYTH. That stripling, the brother of Phædria.
THAIS. What’s that you say, you hag?
PYTH. And I am satisfied of it.
THAIS. Pray, what business had he at my house? What brought him there?
PYTH. I don’t know; unless, as I suppose, he was in love with Pamphila.
THAIS. Alas! to my confusion, unhappy woman that I am, I’m undone, if what you tell me is true. Is it about this that the girl is crying?
PYTH. I believe so.
THAIS. How say you, you arch-jade? Did I not warn you about this very thing, when I was going away from here?
PYTH. What could I do? Just as you ordered, she was intrusted to his care only.
THAIS. Hussy, I’ve been intrusting the sheep to the wolf. I’m quite ashamed to have been imposed upon in this way. What sort of man was he?
PYTH. Hush! hush! mistress, pray; we are all right. Here we have the very man.
THAIS. Where is he?
PYTH. Why there, to the left. Don’t you see?
THAIS. I see.
PYTH. Order him to be seized as quickly as possible.
THAIS. What can we do to him, simpleton?
PYTH. What do to him, do you ask? Pray, do look at him; if his face doesn’t seem an impudent one.
THAIS. Not at all.
PYTH. Besides, what effrontery he has.
SCENE II.
_Enter CHÆREA, in the EUNUCH’S dress, on the other side of the stage._
CHÆ. (_to himself._) At Antipho’s,[102] both of them, father and mother, just as if on purpose, were at home, so that I couldn’t any way get in, but that they must have seen me. In the mean time, while I was standing before the door, a certain acquaintance {of mine} was coming full upon me. When I espied him, I took to my heels as fast as I could down a narrow unfrequented alley; thence again to another, {and} thence to another; thus have I been most dreadfully harassed with running about, that no one might recognize me. But isn’t this Thais that I see? It is she. I’m at a stand. What shall I do? But what need I care? What can she do to me?
THAIS, (_to PYTHIAS._) Let’s accost him. (_To CHÆREA._) Good Mister Dorus, welcome; tell me, have you been running away?
CHÆ. Madam, I did so.
THAIS. Are you quite pleased with it?
CHÆ. No.
THAIS. Do you fancy that you’ll get off with impunity?
CHÆ. Forgive this one fault; if I’m ever guilty of another, {then} kill me.
THAIS. Were you in fear of my severity?
CHÆ. No.
THAIS. No? What then?
CHÆ. (_pointing at PYTHIAS._) I was afraid of her, lest she might be accusing me to you.
THAIS. What had you done?
CHÆ. A mere trifle.
PYTH. Come now, a trifle, you impudent fellow. Does this appear a trifle to you, to ravish a virgin, a citizen?
CHÆ. I took her for my fellow-servant.
PYTH. Fellow-servant? I can hardly restrain myself from flying at his hair. A miscreant! Even of his own free will he comes to make fun of us.
THAIS, (_to PYTHIAS._) Won’t you begone from here, you mad woman?
PYTH. Why so? Really, I do believe I should be something in this hang-dog’s debt, if I were to do so; especially as he owns that he is your servant.
THAIS. We’ll pass that by. Chærea, you have behaved unworthily of yourself; for if I am deserving in the highest degree of this affront, still it is unbecoming of you to be guilty of it. And, upon my faith, I do not know what method now to adopt about this girl: you have so confounded all my plans, that I can not possibly return her to her friends in such a manner as is befitting and as I had intended; in order that, by this means, I might, Chærea, do a real service to myself.
CHÆ. But now, from henceforth, I hope, Thais, that there will be lasting good-will between us. Many a time, from some affair of this kind and from a bad beginning, great friendships have sprung up. What if some Divinity has willed this?
THAIS. I’faith, for my own