part I

am of opinion, that though beauty itself be a great motive, and give an excellent lustre in sordibus, in beggary, as a jewel on a dunghill will shine and cast his rays, it cannot be suppressed, which Heliodorus feigns of Chariclia, though she were in beggar's weeds: yet as it is used, artificial is of more force, and much to be preferred. [4968]Sic dentata sibi videtur Aegle, Emptis ossibus Indicoque cornu; Sic quae nigrior est cadente moro, Cerussata sibi placet Lychoris.

So toothless Aegle seems a pretty one, Set out with new-bought teeth of Indy bone: So foul Lychoris blacker than berry Herself admires, now finer than cherry.

John Lerius the Burgundian, cap. 8. hist. navigat. in Brazil. is altogether on my side. For whereas (saith he) at our coming to Brazil, we found both men and women naked as they were born, without any covering, so much as of their privities, and could not be persuaded, by our Frenchmen that lived a year with them, to wear any, [4969]Many will think that our so long commerce with naked women, must needs be a great provocation to lust; but he concludes otherwise, that their nakedness did much less entice them to lasciviousness, than our women's clothes. And I dare boldly affirm (saith he) that those glittering attires, counterfeit colours, headgears, curled hairs, plaited coats, cloaks, gowns, costly stomachers, guarded and loose garments, and all those other accoutrements, wherewith our countrywomen counterfeit a beauty, and so curiously set out themselves, cause more inconvenience in this kind, than that barbarian homeliness, although they be no whit inferior unto them in beauty. I could evince the truth of this by many other arguments, but I appeal (saith he) to my companions at that present, which were all of the same mind. His countryman, Montague, in his essays, is of the same opinion, and so are many others; out of whose assertions thus much in brief we may conclude, that beauty is more beholden to art than nature, and stronger provocations proceed from outward ornaments, than such as nature hath provided. It is true that those fair sparkling eyes, white neck, coral lips, turgent paps, rose-coloured cheeks, &c., of themselves are potent enticers; but when a comely, artificial, well-composed look, pleasing gesture, an affected carriage shall be added, it must needs be far more forcible than it was, when those curious needleworks, variety of colours, purest dyes, jewels, spangles, pendants, lawn, lace, tiffanies, fair and fine linen, embroideries, calamistrations, ointments, etc. shall be added, they will make the veriest dowdy otherwise, a goddess, when nature shall be furthered by art. For it is not the eye of itself that enticeth to lust, but an adulterous eye, as Peter terms it, 2. ii. 14. a wanton, a rolling, lascivious eye: a wandering eye, which Isaiah taxeth, iii. 16. Christ himself, and the Virgin Mary, had most beautiful eyes, as amiable eyes as any persons, saith [4970]Baradius, that ever lived, but withal so modest, so chaste, that whosoever looked on them was freed from that passion of burning lust, if we may believe [4971]Gerson and [4972]Bonaventure: there was no such antidote against it, as the Virgin Mary's face; 'tis not the eye, but carriage of it, as they use it, that causeth such effects. When Pallas, Juno, Venus, were to win Paris' favour for the golden apple, as it is elegantly described in that pleasant interlude of [4973]Apuleius, Juno came with majesty upon the stage, Minerva gravity, but Venus dulce subridens, constitit amaene; et gratissimae, Graticae deam propitiantes, &c. came in smiling with her gracious graces and exquisite music, as if she had danced, et nonnunquam saltare solis oculis, and which was the main matter of all, she danced with her rolling eyes: they were the brokers and harbingers of her suite. So she makes her brags in a modern poet, [4974]Soon could I make my brow to tyrannise, And force the world do homage to mine eyes.

The eye is a secret orator, the first bawd, Amoris porta, and with private looks, winking, glances and smiles, as so many dialogues they make up the match many times, and understand one another's meanings, before they come to speak a word. [4975]Euryalus and Lucretia were so mutually enamoured by the eye, and prepared to give each other entertainment, before ever they had conference: he asked her good will with his eyes; she did suffragari, and gave consent with a pleasant look. That [4976]Thracian Rodophe was so excellent at this dumb rhetoric, that if she had but looked upon any one almost (saith Calisiris) she would have bewitched him, and he could not possibly escape it. For as [4977]Salvianus observes, the eyes are the windows of our souls, by which as so many channels, all dishonest concupiscence gets into our hearts. They reveal our thoughts, and as they say, frons animi index, but the eye of the countenance, [4978]Quid procacibus intuere ocellis? &c. I may say the same of smiling, gait, nakedness of parts, plausible gestures, &c. To laugh is the proper passion of a man, an ordinary thing to smile; but those counterfeit, composed, affected, artificial and reciprocal, those counter-smiles are the dumb shows and prognostics of greater matters, which they most part use, to inveigle and deceive; though many fond lovers again are so frequently mistaken, and led into a fool's paradise. For if they see but a fair maid laugh, or show a pleasant countenance, use some gracious words or gestures, they apply it all to themselves, as done in their favour; sure she loves them, she is willing, coming, &c. Stultus quando videt quod pulchra puellula ridet, Tum fatuus credit se quod amare velit:

When a fool sees a fair maid for to smile, He thinks she loves him, 'tis but to beguile.

They make an art of it, as the poet telleth us, [4979]Quis credat? discunt etiam ridere puellae, Quaeritur atque illis hac quoque parte decor.

Who can believe? to laugh maids make an art, And seek a pleasant grace to that same part.

And 'tis as great an enticement as any of the rest, [4980]———subrisit molle puella, Cor tibi rite salit.

She makes thine heart leap with [4981]a pleasing gentle smile of hers. [4982]Dulce ridentem Lalagen amabo, Dulce loquentem,

I love Lalage as much for smiling, as for discoursing, delectata illa risit tam blandum, as he said in Petronius of his mistress, being well pleased, she gave so sweet a smile. It won Ismenias, as he [4983] confesseth, Ismene subrisit amatorium, Ismene smiled so lovingly the second time I saw her, that I could not choose but admire her: and Galla's sweet smile quite overcame [4984]Faustus the shepherd, Me aspiciens moils blande subrisit ocellis. All other gestures of the body will enforce as much. Daphnis in [4985]Lucian was a poor tattered wench when I knew her first, said Corbile, pannosa et Zacera, but now she is a stately piece indeed, hath her maids to attend her, brave attires, money in her purse, &c., and will you know how this came to pass? by setting out herself after the best fashion, by her pleasant carriage, affability, sweet smiling upon all, &c. Many women dote upon a man for his compliment only, and good behaviour, they are won in an instant; too credulous to believe that every light wanton suitor, who sees or makes love to them, is instantly enamoured, he certainly dotes on, admires them, will surely marry, when as he means nothing less, 'tis his ordinary carriage in all such companies. So both delude each other by such outward shows; and amongst the rest, an upright, a comely grace, courtesies, gentle salutations, cringes, a mincing gait, a decent and an affected pace, are most powerful enticers, and which the prophet Isaiah, a courtier himself, and a great observer, objected to the daughters of Zion, iii. 16. they minced as they went, and made a tinkling with their feet. To say the truth, what can they not effect by such means? Whilst nature decks them in their best attires Of youth and beauty which the world admires.

[4986]Urit—voce, manu, gressu, pectore, fronte, oculis. When art shall be annexed to beauty, when wiles and guiles shall concur; for to speak as it is, love is a kind of legerdemain; mere juggling, a fascination. When they show their fair hand, fine foot and leg withal, magnum sui desiderium nobis relinquunt, saith [4987]Balthazar Castilio, lib. 1. they set us a longing, and so when they pull up their petticoats, and outward garments, as usually they do to show their fine stockings, and those of purest silken dye, gold fringes, laces, embroiderings, (it shall go hard but when they go to church, or to any other place, all shall be seen) 'tis but a springe to catch woodcocks; and as [4988]Chrysostom telleth them downright, though they say nothing with their mouths, they speak in their gait, they speak with their eyes, they speak in the carriage of their bodies. And what shall we say otherwise of that baring of their necks, shoulders, naked breasts, arms and wrists, to what end are they but only to tempt men to lust! [4989]Nam quid lacteolus sinus, et ipsas Prae te fers sine linteo papillas? Hoc est dicere, posce, posce, trado; Hoc est ad Venerem vocare amantes.

There needs no more, as [4990]Fredericus Matenesius well observes, but a crier to go before them so dressed, to bid us look out, a trumpet to sound, or for defect a sow-gelder to blow, [4991]Look out, look out and see What object this may be That doth perstringe mine eye; A gallant lady goes In rich and gaudy clothes, But whither away God knows, ———look out, &c., et quae sequuntur,

or to what end and purpose? But to leave all these fantastical raptures, I'll prosecute my intended theme. Nakedness, as I have said, is an odious thing of itself, remedium amoris; yet it may be so used, in part, and at set times, that there can be no such enticement as it is; [4992]Nec mihi cincta Diana placet, nec nuda Cythere, Illa voluptatis nil habet, haec nimium.

David so espied Bathsheba, the elders Susanna: [4993]Apelles was enamoured with Campaspe, when he was to paint her naked. Tiberius in Suet. cap. 42. supped with Sestius Gallus an old lecher, libidinoso sene, ea lege ut nudae puellae administrarent; some say as much of Nero, and Pontus Huter of Carolus Pugnax. Amongst the Babylonians, it was the custom of some lascivious queans to dance frisking in that fashion, saith Curtius lib. 5. and Sardus de mor. gent. lib. 1. writes of others to that effect. The [4994]Tuscans at some set banquets had naked women to attend upon them, which Leonicus de Varia hist. lib. 3. cap. 96. confirms of such other bawdy nations. Nero would have filthy pictures still hanging in his chamber, which is too commonly used in our times, and Heliogabalus, etiam coram agentes, ut ad venerem incitarent: So things may be abused. A servant maid in Aristaenetus spied her master and mistress through the key-hole [4995]merrily disposed; upon the sight she fell in love with her master. [4996]Antoninus Caracalla observed his mother-in-law with her breasts amorously laid open, he was so much moved, that he said, Ah si liceret, O that I might; which she by chance overhearing, replied as impudently, [4997]Quicquid libet licet, thou mayst do what thou wilt: and upon that temptation he married her: this object was not in cause, not the thing itself, but that unseemly, indecent carriage of it. When you have all done, veniunt a veste sagittae the greatest provocations of lust are from our apparel; God makes, they say, man shapes, and there is no motive like unto it; [4998]Which doth even beauty beautify, And most bewitch a wretched eye,

a filthy knave, a deformed quean, a crooked carcass, a mawkin, a witch, a rotten post, a hedgestake may be so set out and tricked up, that it shall make as fair a show, as much enamour as the rest: many a silly fellow is so taken. Primum luxuriae, aucupium, one calls it, the first snare of lust; [4999]Bossus aucupium animarum, lethalem arundinem, a fatal reed, the greatest bawd, forte lenocinium, sanguineis lachrymis deplorandum, saith [5000]Matenesius, and with tears of blood to be deplored. Not that comeliness of clothes is therefore to be condemned, and those usual ornaments: there is a decency and decorum in this as well as in other things, fit to be used, becoming several persons, and befitting their estates; he is only fantastical that is not in fashion, and like an old image in arras hangings, when a manner of attire is generally received; but when they are so new-fangled, so unstaid, so prodigious in their attires, beyond their means and fortunes, unbefitting their age, place, quality, condition, what should we otherwise think of them? Why do they adorn themselves with so many colours of herbs, fictitious flowers, curious needleworks, quaint devices, sweet-smelling odours, with those inestimable riches of precious stones, pearls, rubies, diamonds, emeralds, &c.? Why do they crown themselves with gold and silver, use coronets and tires of several fashions, deck themselves with pendants, bracelets, earrings, chains, girdles, rings, pins, spangles, embroideries, shadows, rebatoes, versicolour ribands? why do they make such glorious shows with their scarves, feathers, fans, masks, furs, laces, tiffanies, ruffs, falls, calls, cuffs, damasks, velvets, tinsels, cloth of gold, silver, tissue? with colours of heavens, stars, planets: the strength of metals, stones, odours, flowers, birds, beasts, fishes, and whatsoever Africa, Asia, America, sea, land, art, and industry of man can afford? Why do they use and covet such novelty of inventions; such new-fangled tires, and spend such inestimable sums on them? To what end are those crisped, false hairs, painted faces, as [5001]the satirist observes, such a composed gait, not a step awry? Why are they like so many Sybarites, or Nero's Poppaea, Ahasuerus' concubines, so costly, so long a dressing, as Caesar was marshalling his army, or a hawk in pruning? [5002]Dum moliuntur, dum comuntur annus est: a [5003]gardener takes not so much delight and pains in his garden, a horseman to dress his horse, scour his armour, a mariner about his ship, a merchant his shop and shop-book, as they do about their faces, and all those other parts: such setting up with corks, straightening with whalebones; why is it, but as a day-net catcheth larks, to make young men stoop unto them? Philocharus, a gallant in Aristenaetus, advised his friend Poliaenus to take heed of such enticements, [5004]for it was the sweet sound and motion of his mistress's spangles and bracelets, the smell of her ointments, that captivated him first, Illa fuit mentis prima ruina meae. Quid sibi vult pixidum turba, saith [5005]Lucian, to what use are pins, pots, glasses, ointments, irons, combs, bodkins, setting-sticks? why bestow they all their patrimonies and husbands' yearly revenues on such fooleries? [5006]bina patrimonia singulis auribus; why use they dragons, wasps, snakes, for chains, enamelled jewels on their necks, ears? dignum potius foret ferro manus istas religari, atque utinam monilia vere dracones essent; they had more need some of them be tied in bedlam with iron chains, have a whip for a fan, and hair-cloths next to their skins, and instead of wrought smocks, have their cheeks stigmatised with a hot iron: I say, some of our Jezebels, instead of painting, if they were well served. But why is all this labour, all this cost, preparation, riding, running, far-fetched, and dear bought stuff? [5007]Because forsooth they would be fair and fine, and where nature, is defective, supply it by art. [5008]Sanguine quae vero non rubet, arte rubet, (Ovid); and to that purpose they anoint and paint their faces, to make Helen of Hecuba—parvamque exortamque puellam—Europen.[5009]To this intent they crush in their feet and bodies, hurt and crucify themselves, sometimes in lax-clothes, a hundred yards I think in a gown, a sleeve; and sometimes again so close, ut nudos exprimant artus. [5010]Now long tails and trains, and then short, up, down, high, low, thick, thin, &c.; now little or no bands, then as big as cart wheels; now loose bodies, then great farthingales and close girt, &c. Why is all this, but with the whore in the Proverbs, to intoxicate some or other? oculorum decipulam,[5011]one therefore calls it, et indicem libidinis, the trap of lust, and sure token, as an ivy-bush is to a tavern.

Quod pulchros Glycere sumas de pixide vultus, Quod tibi compositae nec sine lege comae:

Quod niteat digitis adamas, Beryllus in aure, Non sum divinus, sed scio quid cupias.

O Glycere, in that you paint so much, Your hair is so bedeckt in order such. With rings on fingers, bracelets in your ear, Although no prophet, tell I can, I fear.

To be admired, to be gazed on, to circumvent some novice; as many times they do, that instead of a lady he loves a cap and a feather instead of a maid that should have verum colorem, corpus solidum et succi plenum (as Chaerea describes his mistress in the [5012]poet), a painted face, a ruff-band, fair and fine linen, a coronet, a flower, ([5013]Naturaeque putat quod fuit artificis,) a wrought waistcoat he dotes on, or a pied petticoat, a pure dye instead of a proper woman. For generally, as with rich-furred conies, their cases are far better than their bodies, and like the bark of a cinnamon, tree, which is dearer than the whole bulk, their outward accoutrements are far more precious than their inward endowments. 'Tis too commonly so. [5014]Auferimur cultu, et gemmis, auroque teguntur Omnia; pars minima est ipsa puella sui.

With gold and jewels all is covered, And with a strange tire we are won,

(Whilst she's the least part of herself) And with such baubles quite undone.

Why do they keep in so long together, a whole winter sometimes, and will not be seen but by torch or candlelight, and come abroad with all the preparation may be, when they have no business, but only to show themselves? Spectatum veniunt, veniunt spectentur ut ipsae. [5015]For what is beauty if it be not seen, Or what is't to be seen if not admir'd, And though admir'd, unless in love desir'd?

why do they go with such counterfeit gait, which [5016]Philo Judeus reprehends them for, and use (I say it again) such gestures, apish, ridiculous, indecent attires, sybaritical tricks, fucos genis, purpurissam venis, cerussam fronti, leges occulis, &c. use those sweet perfumes, powders and ointments in public; flock to hear sermons so frequent, is it for devotion? or rather, as [5017]Basil tells them, to meet their sweethearts, and see fashions; for, as he saith, commonly they come so provided to that place, with such curious compliments, with such gestures and tires, as if they should go to a dancing-school, a stage-play, or bawdy-house, fitter than a church. When such a she-priest comes her mass to say, Twenty to one they all forget to pray.

They make those holy temples, consecrated to godly martyrs and religious uses, the shops of impudence, dens of whores and thieves, and little better than brothel houses. When we shall see these things daily done, their husbands bankrupts, if not cornutos, their wives light housewives, daughters dishonest; and hear of such dissolute acts, as daily we do, how should we think otherwise? what is their end, but to deceive and inveigle young men? As tow takes fire, such enticing objects produce their effect, how can it be altered? When Venus stood before Anchises (as [5018]Homer feigns in one of his hymns) in her costly robes, he was instantly taken, Cum ante ipsum staret Jovis filia, videns eam Anchises, admirabatur formam, et stupendas vestes; Erat enim induta peplo, igneis radiis spiendidiore; Habebat quoque torques fulgidos, flexiles haelices, Tenerum collum ambiebant monilia pulchra, Aurea, variegata.———

When Venus stood before Anchises first, He was amaz'd to see her in her tires; For she had on a hood as red as fire, And glittering chains, and ivy-twisted spires, About her tender neck were costly brooches, And necklaces of gold, enamell'd ouches.

So when Medea came in presence of Jason first, attended by her nymphs and ladies, as she is described by [5019]Apollonius, Cunctas vero ignis instar sequebatur splendor, Tantum ab aureis fimbriis resplendebat jubar, Accenditque in oculis dulce desiderium.

A lustre followed them like flaming fire, And from their golden borders came such beams, Which in his eyes provok'd a sweet desire.

Such a relation we have in [5020]Plutarch, when the queens came and offered themselves to Antony, [5021]with diverse presents, and enticing ornaments, Asiatic allurements, with such wonderful joy and festivity, they did so inveigle the Romans, that no man could contain himself, all was turned to delight and pleasure. The women transformed themselves to Bacchus shapes, the men-children to Satyrs and Pans; but Antony himself was quite besotted with Cleopatra's sweet speeches, philters, beauty, pleasing tires: for when she sailed along the river Cydnus, with such incredible pomp in a gilded ship, herself dressed like Venus, her maids like the Graces, her pages like so many Cupids, Antony was amazed, and rapt beyond himself. Heliodorus, lib. 1. brings in Dameneta, stepmother to Cnemon, whom she [5022]saw in his scarves, rings, robes, and coronet, quite mad for the love of him. It was Judith's pantofles that ravished the eyes of Holofernes. And [5023]Cardan is not ashamed to confess, that seeing his wife the first time all in white, he did admire and instantly love her. If these outward ornaments were not of such force, why doth [5024]Naomi give Ruth counsel how to please Boaz? and [5025]Judith, seeking to captivate Holofernes, washed and anointed herself with sweet ointments, dressed her hair, and put on costly attires. The riot in this kind hath been excessive in times past; no man almost came abroad, but curled and anointed, [5026]Et matutino suadans Crispinus amomo. Quantum vix redolent duo funera.

one spent as much as two funerals at once, and with perfumed hairs, [5027]et rosa canos odorati capillos Assyriaque nardo. What strange thing doth [5028]Sueton. relate in this matter of Caligula's riot? And Pliny, lib. 12. & 13. Read more in Dioscorides, Ulmus, Arnoldus, Randoletius de fuco et decoratione; for it is now an art, as it was of old, (so [5029]Seneca records) officinae, sunt adores coquentium. Women are bad and men worse, no difference at all between their and our times; [5030]good manners (as Seneca complains) are extinct with wantonness, in tricking up themselves men go beyond women, they wear harlots' colours, and do not walk, but jet and dance, hic mulier, haec vir, more like players, butterflies, baboons, apes, antics, than men. So ridiculous, moreover, we are in our attires, and for cost so excessive, that as Hierome said of old, Uno filio villarum insunt pretia, uno lino decies sestertium inseritur; 'tis an ordinary thing to put a thousand oaks and a hundred oxen into a suit of apparel, to wear a whole manor on his back. What with shoe-ties, hangers, points, caps and feathers, scarves, bands, curls, &c., in a short space their whole patrimonies are consumed. Heliogabalus is taxed by Lampridius, and admired in his age for wearing jewels in his shoes, a common thing in our times, not for emperors and princes, but almost for serving men and tailors; all the flowers, stars, constellations, gold and precious stones do condescend to set out their shoes. To repress the luxury of those Roman matrons, there was [5031]Lex Valeria and Oppia, and a Cato to contradict; but no laws will serve to repress the pride and insolency of our days, the prodigious riot in this kind. Lucullus's wardrobe is put down by our ordinary citizens; and a cobbler's wife in Venice, a courtesan in Florence, is no whit inferior to a queen, if our geographers say true: and why is all this? Why do they glory in their jewels (as [5032]he saith) or exult and triumph in the beauty of clothes? why is all this cost? to incite men the sooner to burning lust. They pretend decency and ornament; but let them take heed, that while they set out their bodies they do not damn their souls; 'tis [5033]Bernard's counsel: shine in jewels, stink in conditions; have purple robes, and a torn conscience. Let them take heed of Isaiah's prophecy, that their slippers and attires be not taken from them, sweet balls, bracelets, earrings, veils, wimples, crisping-pins, glasses, fine linen, hoods, lawns, and sweet savours, they become not bald, burned, and stink upon a sudden. And let maids beware, as [5034]Cyprian adviseth, that while they wander too loosely abroad, they lose not their virginities: and like Egyptian temples, seem fair without, but prove rotten carcases within. How much better were it for them to follow that good counsel of Tertullian? [5035]To have their eyes painted with chastity, the Word of God inserted into their ears, Christ's yoke tied to the hair, to subject themselves to their husbands. If they would do so, they should be comely enough, clothe themselves with the silk of sanctity, damask of devotion, purple of piety and chastity, and so painted, they shall have God himself to be a suitor: let whores and queans prank up themselves, [5036]let them paint their faces with minion and ceruse, they are but fuels of lust, and signs of a corrupt soul: if ye be good, honest, virtuous, and religious matrons, let sobriety, modesty and chastity be your honour, and God himself your love and desire. Mulier recte olet, ubi nihil olet, then a woman smells best, when she hath no perfume at all; no crown, chain, or jewel (Guivarra adds) is such an ornament to a virgin, or virtuous woman, quam virgini pudor, as chastity is: more credit in a wise man's eye and judgment they get by their plainness, and seem fairer than they that are set out with baubles, as a butcher's meat is with pricks, puffed up, and adorned like so many jays with variety of colours. It is reported of Cornelia, that virtuous Roman lady, great Scipio's daughter, Titus Sempronius' wife, and the mother of the Gracchi, that being by chance in company with a companion, a strange gentlewoman (some light housewife belike, that was dressed like a May lady, and, as most of our gentlewomen are, was [5037]more solicitous of her head-tire than of her health, that spent her time between a comb and a glass, and had rather be fair than honest (as Cato said), and have the commonwealth turned topsy-turvy than her tires marred; and she did nought but brag of her fine robes and jewels, and provoked the Roman matron to show hers: Cornelia kept her in talk till her children came from school, and these, said she, are my jewels, and so deluded and put off a proud, vain, fantastical, housewife. How much better were it for our matrons to do as she did, to go civilly and decently, [5038]Honestae mulieris instar quae utitur auro pro eo quod est, ad ea tantum quibus opus est, to use gold as it is gold, and for that use it serves, and when they need it, than to consume it in riot, beggar their husbands, prostitute themselves, inveigle others, and peradventure damn their own souls? How much more would it be for their honour and credit? Thus doing, as Hierom said of Blesilla, [5039]Furius did not so triumph over the Gauls, Papyrius of the Samnites, Scipio of Numantia, as she did by her temperance; pulla semper veste, &c., they should insult and domineer over lust, folly, vainglory, all such inordinate, furious and unruly passions. But I am over tedious, I confess, and whilst I stand gaping after fine clothes, there is another great allurement, (in the world's eye at least) which had like to have stolen out of sight, and that is money, veniunt a dote sagittae, money makes the match; [5040]Μονὸν ἄργυρον βλέπουσιν: 'tis like sauce to their meat, cum carne condimentum, a good dowry with a wife. Many men if they do hear but of a great portion, a rich heir, are more mad than if they had all the beauteous ornaments, and those good parts art and nature can afford, they [5041]care not for honesty, bringing up, birth, beauty, person, but for money. [5042]Canes et equos (o Cyrne) quaerimus Nobiles, et a bona progenie; Malam vero uxorem, malique patris filiam Ducere non curat vir bonus, Modo ei magnam dotem afferat,

Our dogs and horses still from the best breed We carefully seek, and well may they speed: But for our wives, so they prove wealthy, Fair or foul, we care not what they be.

If she be rich, then she is fair, fine, absolute and perfect, then they burn like fire, they love her dearly, like pig and pie, and are ready to hang themselves if they may not have her. Nothing so familiar in these days, as for a young man to marry an old wife, as they say, for a piece of gold; asinum auro onustum; and though she be an old crone, and have never a tooth in her head, neither good conditions, nor a good face, a natural fool, but only rich, she shall have twenty young gallants to be suitors in an instant. As she said in Suetonius, non me, sed mea ambiunt, 'tis not for her sake, but for her lands or money; and an excellent match it were (as he added) if she were away. So on the other side, many a young lovely maid will cast away herself upon an old, doting, decrepit dizzard, [5043]Bis puer effoeto quamvis balbutiat ore, Prima legit rarae tam culta roseta puellae,

that is rheumatic and gouty, hath some twenty diseases, perhaps but one eye, one leg, never a nose, no hair on his head, wit in his brains, nor honesty, if he have land or [5044]money, she will have him before all other suitors, [5045]Dummodo sit dives barbarus ille placet. If he be rich, he is the man, a fine man, and a proper man, she will go to Jacaktres or Tidore with him; Galesimus de monte aureo. Sir Giles Goosecap, Sir Amorous La-Fool, shall have her. And as Philemasium in [5046] Aristaenetus told Emmusus, absque argento omnia vana, hang him that hath no money, 'tis to no purpose to talk of marriage without means, [5047] trouble me not with such motions; let others do as they will, I'll be sure to have one shall maintain me fine and brave. Most are of her mind, [5048] De moribus ultima fiet questio, for his conditions, she shall inquire after them another time, or when all is done, the match made, and everybody gone home. [5049]Lucian's Lycia was a proper young maid, and had many fine gentlemen to her suitors; Ethecles, a senator's son, Melissus, a merchant, &c.; but she forsook them all for one Passius, a base, hirsute, bald-pated knave; but why was it? His father lately died and left him sole heir of his goods and lands. This is not amongst your dust-worms alone, poor snakes that will prostitute their souls for money, but with this bait you may catch our most potent, puissant, and illustrious princes. That proud upstart domineering Bishop of Ely, in the time of Richard the First, viceroy in his absence, as [5050]Nubergensis relates it, to fortify himself, and maintain his greatness, propinquarum suarum connubiis, plurimos sibi potentes et nobiles devincire curavit, married his poor kinswomen (which came forth of Normandy by droves) to the chiefest nobles of the land, and they were glad to accept of such matches, fair or foul, for themselves, their sons, nephews, &c. Et quis tam praeclaram aflinitatem sub spe magnae promotionis non optaret? Who would not have done as much for money and preferment? as mine author [5051]adds. Vortiger, King of Britain, married Rowena the daughter of Hengist the Saxon prince, his mortal enemy; but wherefore? she had Kent for her dowry. Iagello the great Duke of Lithuania, 1386, was mightily enamoured on Hedenga, insomuch that he turned Christian from a Pagan, and was baptised himself by the name of Uladislaus, and all his subjects for her sake: but why was it? she was daughter and heir of Poland, and his desire was to have both kingdoms incorporated into one. Charles the Great was an earnest suitor to Irene the Empress, but, saith [5052]Zonarus, ob regnum, to annex the empire of the East to that of the West. Yet what is the event of all such matches, that are so made for money, goods, by deceit, or for burning lust, quos foeda libido conjunxit, what follows? they are almost mad at first, but 'tis a mere flash; as chaff and straw soon fired, burn vehemently for a while, yet out in a moment; so are all such matches made by those allurements of burning lust; where there is no respect of honesty, parentage, virtue, religion, education, and the like, they are extinguished in an instant, and instead of love comes hate; for joy, repentance and desperation itself. Franciscus Barbarus in his first book de re uxoria, c. 5, hath a story of one Philip of Padua that fell in love with a common whore, and was now ready to run mad for her; his father having no more sons let him enjoy her; [5053]but after a few days, the young man began to loath, could not so much as endure the sight of her, and from one madness fell into another. Such event commonly have all these lovers; and he that so marries, or for such respects, let them look for no better success than Menelaus had with Helen, Vulcan with Venus, Theseus with Phaedra, Minos with Pasiphae, and Claudius with Messalina; shame, sorrow, misery, melancholy, discontent.

SUBSECT. IV.—_Importunity and Opportunity of Time, Place, Conference, Discourse, Singing, Dancing, Music, Amorous Tales, Objects, Kissing, Familiarity, Tokens, Presents, Bribes, Promises, Protestations, Tears, &c._

All these allurements hitherto are afar off, and at a distance; I will come nearer to those other degrees of love, which are conference, kissing, dalliance, discourse, singing, dancing, amorous tales, objects, presents, &c., which as so many sirens steal away the hearts of men and women. For, as Tacitus observes, l. 2, [5054]It is no sufficient trial of a maid's affection by her eyes alone, but you must say something that shall be more available, and use such other forcible engines; therefore take her by the hand, wring her fingers hard, and sigh withal; if she accept this in good part, and seem not to be much averse, then call her mistress, take her about the neck and kiss her, &c. But this cannot be done except they first get opportunity of living, or coming together, ingress, egress, and regress; letters and commendations may do much, outward gestures and actions: but when they come to live near one another, in the same street, village, or together in a house, love is kindled on a sudden. Many a serving-man by reason of this opportunity and importunity inveigles his master's daughter, many a gallant loves a dowdy, many a gentleman runs upon his wife's maids; many ladies dote upon their men, as the queen in Ariosto did upon the dwarf, many matches are so made in haste, and they are compelled as it were by [5055]necessity so to love, which had they been free, come in company of others, seen that variety which many places afford, or compared them to a third, would never have looked one upon another. Or had not that opportunity of discourse and familiarity been offered, they would have loathed and contemned those whom, for want of better choice and other objects, they are fatally driven on, and by reason of their hot blood, idle life, full diet, &c., are forced to dote upon them that come next. And many times those which at the first sight cannot fancy or affect each other, but are harsh and ready to disagree, offended with each other's carriage, like Benedict and Beatrice in the [5056]comedy, and in whom they find many faults, by this living together in a house, conference, kissing, colling, and such like allurements, begin at last to dote insensibly one upon another. It was the greatest motive that Potiphar's wife had to dote upon Joseph, and [5057]Clitiphon upon Leucippe his uncle's daughter, because the plague being at Bizance, it was his fortune for a time to sojourn with her, to sit next her at the table, as he tells the tale himself in Tatius, lib. 2. (which, though it be but a fiction, is grounded upon good observation, and doth well express the passions of lovers), he had opportunity to take her by the hand, and after a while to kiss, and handle her paps, &c., [5058] which made him almost mad. Ismenias the orator makes the like confession in Eustathius, lib. 1, when he came first to Sosthene's house, and sat at table with Cratistes his friend, Ismene, Sosthene's daughter, waiting on them with her breasts open, arms half bare, [5059]Nuda pedem, discincta sinum, spoliata lacertos; after the Greek fashion in those times,—[5060] nudos media plus parte lacertos, as Daphne was when she fled from Phoebus (which moved him much), was ever ready to give attendance on him, to fill him drink, her eyes were never off him, rogabundi oculi, those speaking eyes, courting eyes, enchanting eyes; but she was still smiling on him, and when they were risen, that she had got a little opportunity, [5061]she came and drank to him, and withal trod upon his toes, and would come and go, and when she could not speak for the company, she would wring his hand, and blush when she met him: and by this means first she overcame him (bibens amorem hauriebam simul), she would kiss the cup and drink to him, and smile, and drink where he drank on that side of the cup, by which mutual compressions, kissings, wringing of hands, treading of feet, &c. Ipsam mihi videbar sorbillare virginem, I sipped and sipped so long, till at length I was drunk in love upon a sudden. Philocharinus, in [5062] Aristaenetus, met a fair maid by chance, a mere stranger to him, he looked back at her, she looked back at him again, and smiled withal. [5063]Ille dies lethi primus, primusque malorum Causa fuit.———

It was the sole cause of his farther acquaintance, and love that undid him. [5064]O nullis tutum credere blanditiis. This opportunity of time and place, with their circumstances, are so forcible motives, that it is impossible almost for two young folks equal in years to live together, and not be in love, especially in great houses, princes' courts, where they are idle in summo gradu, fare well, live at ease, and cannot tell otherwise how to spend their time. [5065]Illic Hippolitum pone, Priapus erit. Achilles was sent by his mother Thetis to the island of Scyros in the Aegean sea (where Lycomedes then reigned) in his nonage to be brought up; to avoid that hard destiny of the oracle (he should be slain at the siege of Troy): and for that cause was nurtured in Genesco, amongst the king's children in a woman's habit; but see the event: he compressed Deidamia, the king's fair daughter, and had a fine son, called Pyrrhus by her. Peter Abelard the philosopher, as he tells the tale himself, being set by Fulbertus her uncle to teach Heloise his lovely niece, and to that purpose sojourned in his house, and had committed agnam tenellam famelico lupo, I use his own words, he soon got her good will, plura erant oscula quam sententiae and he read more of love than any other lecture; such pretty feats can opportunity plea; primum domo conjuncti, inde animis, &c. But when as I say, nox, vinum, et adolescentia, youth, wine, and night, shall concur, nox amoris et quietis conscia, 'tis a wonder they be not all plunged over head and ears in love; for youth is benigna in amorem, et prona materies, a very combustible matter, naphtha itself, the fuel of love's fire, and most apt to kindle it. If there be seven servants in an ordinary house, you shall have three couple in some good liking at least, and amongst idle persons how should it be otherwise? Living at [5066]Rome, saith Aretine's Lucretia, in the flower of my fortunes, rich, fair, young, and so well brought up, my conversation, age, beauty, fortune, made all the world admire and love me. Night alone, that one occasion, is enough to set all on fire, and they are so cunning in great houses, that they make their best advantage of it: Many a gentlewoman, that is guilty to herself of her imperfections, paintings, impostures, will not willingly be seen by day, but as [5067]Castilio noteth, in the night, Diem ut glis odit, taedarum lucem super omnia mavult, she hateth the day like a dormouse, and above all things loves torches and candlelight, and if she must come abroad in the day, she covets, as [5068]in a mercer's shop, a very obfuscate and obscure sight. And good reason she hath for it: Nocte latent mendae, and many an amorous gull is fetched over by that means. Gomesius lib. 3. de sale gen. c. 22. gives instance in a Florentine gentleman, that was so deceived with a wife, she was so radiantly set out with rings and jewels, lawns, scarves, laces, gold, spangles, and gaudy devices, that the young man took her to be a goddess (for he never saw her but by torchlight); but after the wedding solemnities, when as he viewed her the next morning without her tires, and in a clear day, she was so deformed, a lean, yellow, shrivelled, &c., such a beastly creature in his eyes, that he could not endure to look upon her. Such matches are frequently made in Italy, where they have no other opportunity to woo but when they go to church, or, as [5069]in Turkey, see them at a distance, they must interchange few or no words, till such time they come to be married, and then as Sardus lib. 1. cap. 3. de morb. gent. and [5070]Bohemus relate of those old Lacedaemonians, the bride is brought into the chamber, with her hair girt about her, the bridegroom comes in and unties the knot, and must not see her at all by daylight, till such time as he is made a father by her. In those hotter countries these are ordinary practices at this day; but in our northern parts, amongst Germans, Danes, French, and Britons, the continent of Scandia and the rest, we assume more liberty in such cases; we allow them, as Bohemus saith, to kiss coming and going, et modo absit lascivia, in cauponem ducere, to talk merrily, sport, play, sing, and dance so that it be modestly done, go to the alehouse and tavern together. And 'tis not amiss, though [5071] Chrysostom, Cyprian, Hierome, and some other of the fathers speak bitterly against it: but that is the abuse which is commonly seen at some drunken matches, dissolute meetings, or great unruly feasts. [5072]A young, pickedevanted, trim-bearded fellow, saith Hierome, will come with a company of compliments, and hold you up by the arm as you go, and wringing your fingers, will so be enticed, or entice: one drinks to you, another embraceth, a third kisseth, and all this while the fiddler plays or sings a lascivious song; a fourth singles you out to dance, [5073]one speaks by beck and signs, and that which he dares not say, signifies by passions; amongst so many and so great provocations of pleasure, lust conquers the most hard and crabbed minds, and scarce can a man live honest amongst feastings, and sports, or at such great meetings. For as he goes on, [5074]she walks along and with the ruffling of her clothes, makes men look at her, her shoes creak, her paps tied up, her waist pulled in to make her look small, she is straight girded, her hairs hang loose about her ears, her upper garment sometimes falls, and sometimes tarries to show her naked shoulders, and as if she would not be seen, she covers that in all haste, which voluntarily she showed. And not at feasts, plays, pageants, and such assemblies, [5075]but as Chrysostom objects, these tricks are put in practice at service time in churches, and at the communion itself. If such dumb shows, signs, and more obscure significations of love can so move, what shall they do that have full liberty to sing, dance, kiss, coll, to use all manner of discourse and dalliance! What shall he do that is beleaguered of all sides? [5076]Quem tot, tam roseae petunt puellae, Quem cultae cupiunt nurus, amorque Omnis undique et undecunque et usque, Omnis ambit Amor, Venusque Hymenque.

After whom so many rosy maids inquire, Whom dainty dames and loving wights desire, In every place, still, and at all times sue, Whom gods and gentle goddesses do woo.

How shall he contain? The very tone of some of their voices, a pretty pleasing speech, an affected tone they use, is able of itself to captivate a young man; but when a good wit shall concur, art and eloquence, fascinating speech, pleasant discourse, sweet gestures, the Sirens themselves cannot so enchant. [5077]P. Jovius commends his Italian countrywomen, to have an excellent faculty in this kind, above all other nations, and amongst them the Florentine ladies: some prefer Roman and Venetian courtesans, they have such pleasing tongues, and such [5078] elegancy of speech, that they are able to overcome a saint, Pro facie multis vox sua lena fuit. Tanta gratia vocis famam conciliabat, saith Petronius [5079]in his fragment of pure impurities, I mean his Satyricon, tam dulcis sonus permulcebat aera, ut putares inter auras cantare Syrenum concordiam; she sang so sweetly that she charmed the air, and thou wouldst have thought thou hadst heard a concert of Sirens. O good God, when Lais speaks, how sweet it is! Philocolus exclaims in Aristenaetus, to hear a fair young gentlewoman play upon the virginals, lute, viol, and sing to it, which as Gellius observes, lib. 1. cap. 11. are lascivientium delicicae, the chief delight of lovers, must needs be a great enticement. Parthenis was so taken. [5080]Mi vox ista avida haurit ab aure animam: O sister Harpedona (she laments) I am undone, [5081]how sweetly he sings, I'll speak a bold word, he is the properest man that ever I saw in my life: O how sweetly he sings, I die for his sake, O that he would love me again! If thou didst but hear her sing, saith [5082]Lucian, thou wouldst forget father and mother, forsake all thy friends, and follow her. Helena is highly commended by [5083]Theocritus the poet for her sweet voice and music; none could play so well as she, and Daphnis in the same Edyllion, Quam tibi os dulce est, et vox amabilis o Daphni, Jucundius est audire te canentem, quam mel lingere!

How sweet a face hath Daphne, how lovely a voice! Honey itself is not so pleasant in my choice.

A sweet voice and music are powerful enticers. Those Samian singing wenches, Aristonica, Onanthe and Agathocleia, regiis diadematibus insultarunt, insulted over kings themselves, as [5084]Plutarch contends. Centum luminibus cinctum caput Argus habebat, Argus had a hundred eyes, all so charmed by one silly pipe, that he lost his head. Clitiphon complains in [5085]Tatius of Leucippe's sweet tunes, he heard her play by chance upon the lute, and sing a pretty song to it in commendations of a rose, out of old Anacreon belike; Rosa honor decusque florum, Rosa flos odorque divum, Hominum rosa est voluptas, Decus illa Gratiarum, Florente amoris hora, Rosa suavium Diones, &c.

Rose the fairest of all flowers. Rose delight of higher powers, Rose the joy of mortal men, Rose the pleasure of fine women, Rose the Graces' ornament, Rose Dione's sweet content.

To this effect the lovely virgin with a melodious air upon her golden wired harp or lute, I know not well whether, played and sang, and that transported him beyond himself, and that ravished his heart. It was Jason's discourse as much as his beauty, or any other of his good parts, which delighted Medea so much. [5086]———Delectabatur enim Animus simul forma dulcibusque verbis.

It was Cleopatra's sweet voice and pleasant speech which inveigled Antony, above the rest of her enticements. Verba ligant hominem, ut taurorum cornua funes, as bulls' horns are bound with ropes, so are men's hearts with pleasant words. Her words burn as fire, Eccles. ix. 10. Roxalana bewitched Suleiman the Magnificent, and Shore's wife by this engine overcame Edward the Fourth, [5087]Omnibus una omnes surripuit Veneres. The wife of Bath in Chaucer confesseth all this out of her experience. Some folk desire us for riches. Some for shape, some for fairness, Some for that she can sing or dance. Some for gentleness, or for dalliance.

[5088]Peter Aretine's Lucretia telleth as much and more of herself, I counterfeited honesty, as if I had been virgo virginissima, more than a vestal virgin, I looked like a wife, I was so demure and chaste, I did add such gestures, tunes, speeches, signs and motions upon all occasions, that my spectators and auditors were stupefied, enchanted, fastened all to their places, like so many stocks and stones. Many silly gentlewomen are fetched over in like sort, by a company of gulls and swaggering companions, that frequently belie noblemen's favours, rhyming Coribantiasmi, Thrasonean Rhadomantes or Bombomachides, that have nothing in them but a few player's ends and compliments, vain braggadocians, impudent intruders, that can discourse at table of knights and lords' combats, like [5089]Lucian's Leonitiscus, of other men's travels, brave adventures, and such common trivial news, ride, dance, sing old ballad tunes, and wear their clothes in fashion, with a good grace; a fine sweet gentleman, a proper man, who could not love him! She will have him though all her friends say no, though she beg with him. Some again are incensed by reading amorous toys, Amadis de Gaul, Palmerin de Oliva, the Knight of the Sun, &c., or hearing such tales of [5090]lovers, descriptions of their persons, lascivious discourses, such as Astyanassa, Helen's waiting-woman, by the report of Suidas, writ of old, de variis concubitus modis, and after her Philenis and Elephantine; or those light tracts of[5091]Aristides Milesius (mentioned by Plutarch) and found by the Persians in Crassus' army amongst the spoils, Aretine's dialogues, with ditties, love songs, &c., must needs set them on fire, with such like pictures, as those of Aretine, or wanton objects of what kind soever; no stronger engine than to hear or read of love toys, fables and discourses ([5092]one saith) and many by this means are quite mad. At Abdera in Thrace (Andromeda one of Euripides' tragedies being played) the spectators were so much moved with the object, and those pathetical love speeches of Perseus, amongst the rest, O Cupid, Prince of Gods and men, &c. that every man almost a good while after spake pure iambics, and raved still on Perseus' speech, O Cupid, Prince of Gods and men. As carmen, boys and apprentices, when a new song is published with us, go singing that new tune still in the streets, they continually acted that tragical part of Perseus, and in every man's mouth was O Cupid, in every street, O Cupid, in every house almost, O Cupid, Prince of Gods and men, pronouncing still like stage-players, O Cupid; they were so possessed all with that rapture, and thought of that pathetical love speech, they could not a long time after forget, or drive it out of their minds, but O Cupid, Prince of Gods and men, was ever in their mouths. This belike made Aristotle, Polit. lib. 7. cap. 18. forbid young men to see comedies, or to hear amorous tales. [5093]Haec igitur juvenes nequam facilesque puellae Inspiciant———

let not young folks meddle at all with such matters. And this made the Romans, as [5094]Vitruvius relates, put Venus' temple in the suburbs, extra murum, ne adolescentes venereis insuescant, to avoid all occasions and objects. For what will not such an object do? Ismenias, as he walked in Sosthene's garden, being now in love, when he saw so many [5095]lascivious pictures, Thetis' marriage, and I know not what, was almost beside himself. And to say truth, with a lascivious object who is not moved, to see others dally, kiss, dance? And much more when he shall come to be an actor himself. To kiss and be kissed, which, amongst other lascivious provocations, is as a burden in a song, and a most forcible battery, as infectious, [5096] Xenophon thinks, as the poison of a spider; a great allurement, a fire itself, prooemium aut anticoenium, the prologue of burning lust (as Apuleius adds), lust itself, [5097]Venus quinta parte sui nectaris imbuit, a strong assault, that conquers captains, and those all commanding forces, ([5098]Domasque ferro sed domaris osculo). [5099]Aretine's Lucretia, when she would in kindness overcome a suitor of hers, and have her desire of him, took him about the neck, and kissed him again and again, and to that, which she could not otherwise effect, she made him so speedily and willingly condescend. And 'tis a continual assault,—[5100]hoc non deficit incipitque semper, always fresh, and ready to [5101]begin as at first, basium nullo fine terminatur, sed semper recens est, and hath a fiery touch with it. [5102]———Tenta modo tangere corpus, Jam tua mellifluo membra calore fluent.

Especially when they shall be lasciviously given, as he feelingly said, [5103]et me praessulum deosculata Fotis, Catenatis lacertis, [5104] Obtorto valgiter labello. [5105]Valgiis suaviis, Dum semiulco suavio Meam puellam suavior, Anima tunc aegra et saucia Concurrit ad labia mihi.

The soul and all is moved; [5106]Jam pluribus osculis labra crepitabant, animarum quoque mixturam facientes, inter mutuos complexus animas anhelantes, [5107]Haesimus calentes, Et transfudimus hinc et hinc labellis Errantes animas, valete curae.

They breathe out their souls and spirits together with their kisses, saith [5108]Balthazar Castilio, change hearts and spirits, and mingle affections as they do kisses, and it is rather a connection of the mind than of the body. And although these kisses be delightsome and pleasant, Ambrosial kisses, [5109]Suaviolum dulci dulcius Ambrosia, such as [5110] Ganymede gave Jupiter, Nectare suavius, sweeter than [5111]nectar, balsam, honey, [5112]Oscula merum amorem stillantia, love-dropping kisses; for The gilliflower, the rose is not so sweet, As sugared kisses be when lovers meet;

Yet they leave an irksome impression, like that of aloes or gall, [5113]Ut mi ex Ambrosia, mutatum jam foret illud Suaviolum tristi tristius helleboro.

At first Ambrose itself was not sweeter, At last black hellebore was not so bitter.

They are deceitful kisses, [5114]Quid me mollibus implicas lacertis? Quid fallacibus osculis inescas?&c.

Why dost within thine arms me lap, And with false kisses me entrap.

They are destructive, and the more the worse: [5115]Et quae me perdunt, oscula mille dabat, they are the bane of these miserable lovers. There be honest kisses, I deny not, osculum charitatis, friendly kisses, modest kisses, vestal-virgin kisses, officious and ceremonial kisses, &c. Osculi sensus, brachiorum amplexus, kissing and embracing are proper gifts of Nature to a man; but these are too lascivious kisses, [5116]Implicuitque suos circum meet colla lacertos, &c. too continuate and too violent, [5117]Brachia non hederae, non vincunt oscula conchae; they cling like ivy, close as an oyster, bill as doves, meretricious kisses, biting of lips, cum additamento: Tam impresso ore (saith [5118]Lucian) ut vix labia detrahant, inter deosculandum mordicantes, tum et os aperientes quoque et mammas attrectantes, &c. such kisses as she gave to Gyton, innumera oscula dedit non repugnanti puero, cervicem invadens, innumerable kisses, &c. More than kisses, or too homely kisses: as those that [5119]he spake of, Accepturus ab ipsa venere 7, suavia, &c. with such other obscenities that vain lovers use, which are abominable and pernicious. If, as Peter de Ledesmo cas. cons. holds, every kiss a man gives his wife after marriage, be mortale peccatum, a mortal sin, or that of [5120]Hierome, Adulter est quisquis in uxorem suam ardentior est amator; or that of Thomas Secund. quaest. 154. artic. 4. contactus et osculum sit mortale peccatum, or that of Durand. Rational. lib. 1. cap. 10. abstinere debent conjuges a complexu, toto tempore quo solennitas nuptiarum interdicitur, what shall become of all such [5121]immodest kisses and obscene actions, the forerunners of brutish lust, if not lust itself! What shall become of them that often abuse their own wives? But what have I to do with this? That which I aim at, is to show you the progress of this burning lust; to epitomise therefore all this which I have hitherto said, with a familiar example out of that elegant Musaeus, observe but with me those amorous proceedings of Leander and Hero: they began first to look one on another with a lascivious look, Oblique intuens inde nutibus,— Nutibus mutuis inducens in errorem mentem puellae. Et illa e contra nutibus mutuis juvenis Leandri quod amorem non renuit, &c. Inde Adibat in tenebris tacite quidem stringens Roseos puellae digitos, ex imo suspirabat Vehementer———Inde Virginis autem bene olens collum osculatus. Tale verbum ait amoris ictus stimulo, Preces audi et amoris miserere mei, &c. Sic fatus recusantis persuasit mentem puellae.

With becks and nods he first began To try the wench's mind.

With becks and nods and smiles again An answer he did find.

And in the dark he took her by the hand, And wrung it hard, and sighed grievously, And kiss'd her too, and woo'd her as he might, With pity me, sweetheart, or else I die, And with such words and gestures as there past, He won his mistress' favour at the last.

The same proceeding is elegantly described by Apollonius in his Argonautics, between Jason and Medea, by Eustathius in the ten books of the loves of Ismenias and Ismene, Achilles Tatius between his Clitophon and Leucippe, Chaucer's neat poem of Troilus and Cresseide; and in that notable tale in Petronius of a soldier and a gentlewoman of Ephesus, that was so famous all over Asia for her chastity, and that mourned for her husband: the soldier wooed her with such rhetoric as lovers use to do,—placitone etiam pugnabis amori? &c. at last, frangi pertinaciam passa est, he got her good will, not only to satisfy his lust, [5122]but to hang her dead husband's body on the cross (which he watched instead of the thief's that was newly stolen away), whilst he wooed her in her cabin. These are tales, you will say, but they have most significant morals, and do well express those ordinary proceedings of doting lovers. Many such allurements there are, nods, jests, winks, smiles, wrestlings, tokens, favours, symbols, letters, valentines, &c. For which cause belike, Godfridus lib. 2. de amor. would not have women learn to write. Many such provocations are used when they come in presence, [5123]10 they will and will not, Malo me Galatea petit lasciva puella, Et fugit ad salices, et se cupit ante videri.

My mistress with an apple woos me, And hastily to covert goes

To hide herself, but would be seen With all her heart before, God knows.

Hero so tripped away from Leander as one displeased, [5124]Yet as she went full often look'd behind, And many poor excuses did she find To linger by the way,———

but if he chance to overtake her, she is most averse, nice and coy, Denegat et pugnat, sed vult super omnia vinci.

She seems not won, but won she is at length, In such wars women use but half their strength.

Sometimes they lie open and are most tractable and coming, apt, yielding, and willing to embrace, to take a green gown, with that shepherdess in Theocritus, Edyl. 27. to let their coats, &c., to play and dally, at such seasons, and to some, as they spy their advantage; and then coy, close again, so nice, so surly, so demure, you had much better tame a colt, catch or ride a wild horse, than get her favour, or win her love, not a look, not a smile, not a kiss for a kingdom. [5125]Aretine's Lucretia was an excellent artisan in this kind, as she tells her own tale, Though I was by nature and art most beautiful and fair, yet by these tricks I seemed to be far more amiable than I was, for that which men earnestly seek and cannot attain, draws on their affection with a most furious desire. I had a suitor loved me dearly (said she), and the [5126]more he gave me, the more eagerly he wooed me, the more I seemed to neglect, to scorn him, and which I commonly gave others, I would not let him see me, converse with me, no, not have a kiss. To gull him the more, and fetch him over (for him only I aimed at) I personated mine own servant to bring in a present from a Spanish count, whilst he was in my company, as if he had been the count's servant, which he did excellently well perform: [5127]Comes de monte Turco, my lord and master hath sent your ladyship a small present, and part of his hunting, a piece of venison, a pheasant, a few partridges, &c. (all which she bought with her own money), commends his love and service to you, desiring you to accept of it in good part, and he means very shortly to come and see you. Withal she showed him rings, gloves, scarves, coronets which others had sent her, when there was no such matter, but only to circumvent him. [5128]By these means (as she concludes) I made the poor gentleman so mad, that he was ready to spend himself, and venture his dearest blood for my sake. Philinna, in [5129]Lucian, practised all this long before, as it shall appear unto you by her discourse; for when Diphilus her sweetheart came to see her (as his daily custom was) she frowned upon him, would not vouchsafe him her company, but kissed Lamprius his co-rival, at the same time [5130]before his face: but why was it? To make him (as she telleth her mother that chid her for it) more jealous; to whet his love, to come with a greater appetite, and to know that her favour was not so easy to be had. Many other tricks she used besides this (as she there confesseth), for she would fall out with, and anger him of set purpose, pick quarrels upon no occasion, because she would be reconciled to him again. Amantium irae amoris redintegratio, as the old saying is, the falling out of lovers is the renewing of love; and according to that of Aristenaetis, jucundiores amorum post injurias deliciae, love is increased by injuries, as the sunbeams are more gracious after a cloud. And surely this aphorism is most true; for as Ampelis informs Crisis in the said Lucian, [5131]If a lover be not jealous, angry, waspish, apt to fall out, sigh and swear, he is no true lover. To kiss and coll, hang about her neck, protest, swear and wish, are but ordinary symptoms, incipientis adhuc et crescentis amoris signa; but if he be jealous, angry, apt to mistake, &c., bene speres licet, sweet sister he is thine own; yet if you let him alone, humour him, please him, &c., and that he perceive once he hath you sure, without any co-rival, his love will languish, and he will not care so much for you. Hitherto (saith she) can I speak out of experience; Demophantus a rich fellow was a suitor of mine, I seemed to neglect him, and gave better entertainment to Calliades the painter before his face, principio abiit, verbis me insectatus, at first he went away all in a chafe, cursing and swearing, but at last he came submitting himself, vowing and protesting he loved me most dearly, I should have all he had, and that he would kill himself for my sake. Therefore I advise thee (dear sister Crisis) and all maids, not to use your suitors over kindly; insolentes enim sunt hoc cum sentiunt, 'twill make them proud and insolent; but now and then reject them, estrange thyself, et si me audies semel atque iterum exclude, shut him out of doors once or twice, let him dance attendance; follow my counsel, and by this means [5132]you shall make him mad, come off roundly, stand to any conditions, and do whatsoever you will have him. These are the ordinary practices; yet in the said Lucian, Melissa methinks had a trick beyond all this; for when her suitor came coldly on, to stir him up, she writ one of his co-rival's names and her own in a paper, Melissa amat Hermotimum, Hermotimus Mellissam, causing it to be stuck upon a post, for all gazers to behold, and lost it in the way where he used to walk; which when the silly novice perceived, statim ut legit credidit, instantly apprehended it was so, came raving to me, &c. [5133]and so when I was in despair of his love, four months after I recovered him again. Eugenia drew Timocles for her valentine, and wore his name a long time after in her bosom: Camaena singled out Pamphilus to dance, at Myson's wedding (some say), for there she saw him first; Felicianus overtook Caelia by the highway side, offered his service, thence came further acquaintance, and thence came love. But who can repeat half their devices? What Aretine experienced, what conceited Lucian, or wanton Aristenaetus? They will deny and take, stiffly refuse, and yet earnestly seek the same, repel to make them come with more eagerness, fly from if you follow, but if averse, as a shadow they will follow you again, fugientem sequitur, sequentem fugit; with a regaining retreat, a gentle reluctancy, a smiling threat, a pretty pleasant peevishness they will put you off, and have a thousand such several enticements. For as he saith,

[5134]Non est forma satis, nec quae vult bella videri, Debet vulgari more placere suis.

Dicta, sales, lusus, sermones, gratia, risus, Vincunt naturae candidioris opus.

'Tis not enough though she be fair of hue, For her to use this vulgar compliment: But pretty toys and jests, and saws and smiles, As far beyond what beauty can attempt.

[5135]For this cause belike Philostratus, in his images, makes diverse loves, some young, some of one age, some of another, some winged, some of one sex, some of another, some with torches, some with golden apples, some with darts, gins, snares, and other engines in their hands, as Propertius hath prettily painted them out, lib. 2. et 29. and which some interpret, diverse enticements, or diverse affections of lovers, which if not alone, yet jointly may batter and overcome the strongest constitutions. It is reported of Decius, and Valerianus, those two notorious persecutors of the church, that when they could enforce a young Christian by no means (as [5136]Hierome records) to sacrifice to their idols, by no torments or promises, they took another course to tempt him: they put him into a fair garden, and set a young courtesan to dally with him, [5137]took him about the neck and kissed him, and that which is not to be named, manibusque attrectare, &c., and all those enticements which might be used, that whom torments could not, love might batter and beleaguer. But such was his constancy, she could not overcome, and when this last engine would take no place, they left him to his own ways. At [5138]Berkley in Gloucestershire, there was in times past a nunnery (saith Gualterus Mapes, an old historiographer, that lived 400 years since), of which there was a noble and a fair lady abbess: Godwin, that subtile Earl of Kent, travelling that way, (seeking not her but hers) leaves a nephew of his, a proper young gallant (as if he had been sick) with her, till he came back again, and gives the young man charge so long to counterfeit, till he had deflowered the abbess, and as many besides of the nuns as he could, and leaves him withal rings, jewels, girdles, and such toys to give them still, when they came to visit him. The young man, willing to undergo such a business, played his part so well, that in short space he got up most of their bellies, and when he had done, told his lord how he had sped: [5139]his lord made instantly to the court, tells the king how such a nunnery was become a bawdy-house, procures a visitation, gets them to be turned out, and begs the lands to his own use. This story I do therefore repeat, that you may see of what force these enticements are, if they be opportunely used, and how hard it is even for the most averse and sanctified souls to resist such allurements. John Major in the life of John the monk, that lived in the days of Theodosius, commends the hermit to have been a man of singular continency, and of a most austere life; but one night by chance the devil came to his cell in the habit of a young market wench that had lost her way, and desired for God's sake some lodging with him. [5140]The old man let her in, and after some common conference of her mishap, she began to inveigle him with lascivious talk and jests, to play with his beard, to kiss him, and do worse, till at last she overcame him. As he went to address himself to that business, she vanished on a sudden, and the devils in the air laughed him to scorn. Whether this be a true story, or a tale, I will not much contend, it serves to illustrate this which I have said. Yet were it so, that these of which I have hitherto spoken, and such like enticing baits, be not sufficient, there be many others, which will of themselves intend this passion of burning lust, amongst which, dancing is none of the least; and it is an engine of such force, I may not omit it. Incitamentum libidinis, Petrarch calls it, the spur of lust. A [5141] circle of which the devil himself is the centre. [5142]Many women that use it, have come dishonest home, most indifferent, none better. [5143] Another terms it the companion of all filthy delights and enticements, and 'tis not easily told what inconveniences come by it, what scurrile talk, obscene actions, and many times such monstrous gestures, such lascivious motions, such wanton tunes, meretricious kisses, homely embracings. [5144]———(ut Gaditana canoro Incipiat prurire choro, plausuque probatae Ad terram tremula descendant clune puellae, Irritamentum Veneris languentis)———

that it will make the spectators mad. When that epitomiser of [5145]Trogus had to the full described and set out King Ptolemy's riot as a chief engine and instrument of his overthrow, he adds, tympanum et tripudium, fiddling and dancing: the king was not a spectator only, but a principal actor himself. A thing nevertheless frequently used, and part of a gentlewoman's bringing up, to sing, dance, and play on the lute, or some such instrument, before she can say her paternoster, or ten commandments. 'Tis the next way their parents think to get them husbands, they are compelled to learn, and by that means, [5146]Incoestos amores de tenero meditantur ungue; 'tis a great allurement as it is often used, and many are undone by it. Thais, in Lucian, inveigled Lamprias in a dance, Herodias so far pleased Herod, that she made him swear to give her what she would ask, John Baptist's head in a platter. [5147]Robert, Duke of Normandy, riding by Falais, spied Arlette, a fair maid, as she danced on a green, and was so much enamoured with the object, that [5148]she must needs lie with her that night. Owen Tudor won Queen Catherine's affection in. a dance, falling by chance with his head in her lap. Who cannot parallel these stories out of his experience? Speusippas a noble gallant in [5149]that Greek Aristenaetus, seeing Panareta a fair young gentlewoman dancing by accident, was so far in love with her, that for a long time after he could think of nothing but Panareta: he came raving home full of Panareta: Who would not admire her, who would not love her, that should but see her dance as I did? O admirable, O divine Panareta! I have seen old and new Rome, many fair cities, many proper women, but never any like to Panareta, they are dross, dowdies all to Panareta! O how she danced, how she tripped, how she turned, with what a grace! happy is that man that shall enjoy her. O most incomparable, only, Panareta! When Xenophon, in Symposio, or Banquet, had discoursed of love, and used all the engines that might be devised, to move Socrates, amongst the rest, to stir him the more, he shuts up all with a pleasant interlude or dance of Dionysius and Ariadne. [5150]First Ariadne dressed like a bride came in and took her place; by and by Dionysius entered, dancing to the music. The spectators did all admire the young man's carriage; and Ariadne herself was so much affected with the sight, that she could scarce sit. After a while Dionysius beholding Ariadne, and incensed with love, bowing to her knees, embraced her first, and kissed her with a grace; she embraced him again, and kissed him with like affection, &c., as the dance required; but they that stood by, and saw this, did much applaud and commend them both for it. And when Dionysius rose up, he raised her up with him, and many pretty gestures, embraces, kisses, and love compliments passed between them: which when they saw fair Bacchus and beautiful Ariadne so sweetly and so unfeignedly kissing each other, so really embracing, they swore they loved indeed, and were so inflamed with the object, that they began to rouse up themselves, as if they would have flown. At the last when they saw them still, so willingly embracing, and now ready to go to the bride-chamber, they were so ravished, with it, that they that were unmarried, swore they would forthwith marry, and those that were married called instantly for their horses, and galloped home to their wives. What greater motive can there be than this burning lust? what so violent an oppugner? Not without good cause therefore so many general councils condemn it, so many fathers abhor it, so many grave men speak against it; Use not the company of a woman, saith Siracides, 8. 4. that is a singer, or a dancer; neither hear, lest thou be taken in her craftiness. In circo non tam cernitur quam discitur libido. [5151]Haedus holds, lust in theatres is not seen, but learned. Gregory Nazianzen that eloquent divine, ([5152]as he relates the story himself,) when a noble friend of his solemnly invited him with other bishops, to his daughter Olympia's wedding, refused to come: [5153]For it is absurd to see an old gouty bishop sit amongst dancers; he held it unfit to be a spectator, much less an actor. Nemo saltat sobrius, Tully writes, he is not a sober man that danceth; for some such reason (belike) Domitian forbade the Roman senators to dance, and for that fact removed many of them from the senate. But these, you will say, are lascivious and Pagan dances, 'tis the abuse that causeth such inconvenience, and I do not well therefore to condemn, speak against, or innocently to accuse the best and pleasantest thing (so [5154]Lucian calls it) that belongs to mortal men. You misinterpret, I condemn it not; I hold it notwithstanding an honest disport, a lawful recreation, if it be opportune, moderately and soberly used: I am of Plutarch's mind, [5155]that which respects pleasure alone, honest recreation, or bodily exercise, ought not to be rejected and contemned: I subscribe to [5156]Lucian, 'tis an elegant thing, which cheereth up the mind, exerciseth the body, delights the spectators, which teacheth many comely gestures, equally affecting the ears, eyes, and soul itself. Sallust discommends singing and dancing in Sempronia, not that she did sing or dance, but that she did it in excess, 'tis the abuse of it; and Gregory's refusal doth not simply condemn it, but in some folks. Many will not allow men and women to dance together, because it is a provocation to lust: they may as well, with Lycurgus and Mahomet, cut down all vines, forbid the drinking of wine, for that it makes some men drunk. [5157]Nihil prodest quod non laedere posset idem; Igne quid utilius?———

I say of this as of all other honest recreations, they are like fire, good and bad, and I see no such inconvenience, but that they may so dance, if it be done at due times, and by fit persons: and conclude with Wolfungus [5158]Hider, and most of our modern divines: Si decorae, graves, verecundae, plena luce bonorum virorum et matronarum honestarum, tempestive fiant, probari possunt, et debent. There is a time to mourn, a time to dance, Eccles. iii. 4. Let them take their pleasures then, and as [5159] he said of old, young men and maids flourishing in their age, fair and lovely to behold, well attired, and of comely carriage, dancing a Greek galliard, and as their dance required, kept their time, now turning, now tracing, now apart now altogether, now a courtesy then a caper, &c., and it was a pleasant sight to see those pretty knots, and swimming figures. The sun and moon (some say) dance about the earth, the three upper planets about the sun as their centre, now stationary, now direct, now retrograde, now in apogee, then in perigee, now swift then slow, occidental, oriental, they turn round, jump and trace, ♂ and ☿ about the sun with those thirty-three Maculae or Bourbonian planet, circa Solem saltantes Cytharedum, saith Fromundus. Four Medicean stars dance about Jupiter, two Austrian about Saturn, &c., and all (belike) to the music of the spheres. Our greatest counsellors, and staid senators, at some times dance, as David before the ark, 2 Sam. vi. 14. Miriam, Exod. xv. 20. Judith, xv. 13. (though the devil hence perhaps hath brought in those bawdy bacchanals), and well may they do it. The greatest soldiers, as [5160] Quintilianus, [5161]Aemilius Probus, [5162]Coelius Rhodiginus, have proved at large, still use it in Greece, Rome, and the most worthy senators, cantare, saltare. Lucian, Macrobius, Libanus, Plutarch, Julius, Pollux, Athenaeus, have written just tracts in commendation of it. In this our age it is in much request in those countries, as in all civil commonwealths, as Alexander ab Alexandro, lib. 4. cap. 10. et lib. 2. cap. 25. hath proved at large, [5163]amongst the barbarians themselves none so precious; all the world allows it. [5164]Divitias contemno tuas, rex Craese, tuamque Vendo Asiam, unguentis, flore, mero, choreis.

[5165]Plato, in his Commonwealth, will have dancing-schools to be maintained, that young folks might meet, be acquainted, see one another, and be seen; nay more, he would have them dance naked; and scoffs at them that laugh at it. But Eusebius praepar. Evangel. lib. 1. cap. 11. and Theodoret lib. 9. curat. graec. affect. worthily lash him for it; and well they might: for as one saith, [5166]the very sight of naked parts causeth enormous, exceeding concupiscences, and stirs up both men and women to burning lust. There is a mean in all things: this is my censure in brief; dancing is a pleasant recreation of body and mind, if sober and modest (such as our Christian dances are); if tempestively used, a furious motive to burning lust; if as by Pagans heretofore, unchastely abused. But I proceed. If these allurements do not take place, for [5167]Simierus, that great master of dalliance, shall not behave himself better, the more effectually to move others, and satisfy their lust, they will swear and lie, promise, protest, forge, counterfeit, brag, bribe, flatter and dissemble of all sides. 'Twas Lucretia's counsel in Aretine, Si vis amica frui, promitte, finge, jura, perjura, jacta, simula, mentire; and they put it well in practice, as Apollo to Daphne, [5168]———mihi Delphica tellus Et Claros et Tenedos, patareaque regia servit, Jupiter est genitor———

Delphos, Claros, and Tenedos serve me, And Jupiter is known my sire to be.

[5169]The poorest swains will do as much, [5170]Mille pecus nivei sunt et mihi vallibus agni; I have a thousand sheep, good store of cattle, and they are all at her command, [5171]———Tibi nos, tibi nostra supellex, Ruraque servierint———

house, land, goods, are at her service, as he is himself. Dinomachus, a senator's son in [5172]Lucian, in love with a wench inferior to him in birth and fortunes, the sooner to accomplish his desire, wept unto her, and swore he loved her with all his heart, and her alone, and that as soon as ever his father died (a very rich man and almost decrepit) he would make her his wife. The maid by chance made her mother acquainted with the business, who being an old fox, well experienced in such matters, told her daughter, now ready to yield to his desire, that he meant nothing less, for dost thou think he will ever care for thee, being a poor wench, [5173]that may have his choice of all the beauties in the city, one noble by birth, with so many talents, as young, better qualified, and fairer than thyself? daughter believe him not: the maid was abashed, and so the matter broke off. When Jupiter wooed Juno first (Lilius Giraldus relates it out of an old comment on Theocritus) the better to effect his suit, he turned himself into a cuckoo, and spying her one day walking alone, separated from the other goddesses, caused a tempest suddenly to arise, for fear of which she fled to shelter; Jupiter to avoid the storm likewise flew into her lap, in virginis Junonis gremium devolavit, whom Juno for pity covered in her [5174]apron. But he turned himself forthwith into his own shape, began to embrace and offer violence unto her, sed illa matris metu abnuebat, but she by no means would yield, donec pollicitus connubium obtinuit, till he vowed and swore to marry her, and then she gave consent. This fact was done at Thornax hill, which ever after was called Cuckoo hill, and in perpetual remembrance there was a temple erected to Telia Juno in the same place. So powerful are fair promises, vows, oaths and protestations. It is an ordinary thing too in this case to belie their age, which widows usually do, that mean to marry again, and bachelors too sometimes, [5175]Cujus octavum trepidavit aetas, cernere lustrum;

to say they are younger than they are. Carmides in the said Lucian loved Philematium, an old maid of forty-five years; [5176]she swore to him she was but thirty-two next December. But to dissemble in this kind, is familiar of all sides, and often it takes. [5177]Fallere credentem res est operosa puellam, 'tis soon done, no such great mastery, Egregiam vero laudem, et spolia ampla,—and nothing so frequent as to belie their estates, to prefer their suits, and to advance themselves. Many men to fetch over a young woman, widows, or whom they love, will not stick to crack, forge and feign any thing comes next, bid his boy fetch his cloak, rapier, gloves, jewels, &c. in such a chest, scarlet-golden-tissue breeches, &c. when there is no such matter; or make any scruple to give out, as he did in Petronius, that he was master of a ship, kept so many servants, and to personate their part the better take upon them to be gentlemen of good houses, well descended and allied, hire apparel at brokers, some scavenger or prick-louse tailors to attend upon them for the time, swear they have great possessions, [5178]bribe, lie, cog, and foist how dearly they love, how bravely they will maintain her, like any lady, countess, duchess, or queen; they shall have gowns, tiers, jewels, coaches, and caroches, choice diet, The heads of parrots, tongues of nightingales, The brains of peacocks, and of ostriches, Their bath shall be the juice of gilliflowers, Spirit of roses and of violets, The milk of unicorns, &c.

as old Volpone courted Celia in the [5179]comedy, when as they are no such men, not worth a groat, but mere sharkers, to make a fortune, to get their desire, or else pretend love to spend their idle hours, to be more welcome, and for better entertainment. The conclusion is, they mean nothing less, [5180]Nil metuunt jurare, nihil promittere curant: Sed simul accupidae mentis satiata libido est, Dicta nihil metuere, nihil perjuria curant;

Oaths, vows, promises, are much protested; But when their mind and lust is satisfied, Oaths, vows, promises, are quite neglected;

though he solemnly swear by the genius of Caesar, by Venus' shrine, Hymen's deity, by Jupiter, and all the other gods, give no credit to his words. For when lovers swear, Venus laughs, Venus haec perjuria ridet, [5181]Jupiter himself smiles, and pardons it withal, as grave [5182]Plato gives out; of all perjury, that alone for love matters is forgiven by the gods. If promises, lies, oaths, and protestations will not avail, they fall to bribes, tokens, gifts, and such like feats. [5183]Plurimus auro conciliatur amor: as Jupiter corrupted Danae with a golden shower, and Liber Ariadne with a lovely crown, (which was afterwards translated into the heavens, and there for ever shines;) they will rain chickens, florins, crowns, angels, all manner of coins and stamps in her lap. And so must he certainly do that will speed, make many feasts, banquets, invitations, send her some present or other every foot. Summo studio parentur epulae (saith [5184]Haedus) et crebrae fiant largitiones, he must be very bountiful and liberal, seek and sue, not to her only, but to all her followers, friends, familiars, fiddlers, panders, parasites, and household servants; he must insinuate himself, and surely will, to all, of all sorts, messengers, porters, carriers; no man must be unrewarded, or unrespected. I had a suitor (saith [5185]Aretine's Lucretia) that when he came to my house, flung gold and silver about, as if it had been chaff. Another suitor I had was a very choleric fellow; but I so handled him, that for all his fuming, I brought him upon his knees. If there had been an excellent bit in the market, any novelty, fish, fruit, or fowl, muscatel, or malmsey, or a cup of neat wine in all the city, it was presented presently to me; though never so dear, hard to come by, yet I had it: the poor fellow was so fond at last, that I think if I would I might have had one of his eyes out of his head. A third suitor was a merchant of Rome, and his manner of wooing was with [5186]exquisite music, costly banquets, poems, &c. I held him off till at length he protested, promised, and swore pro virginitate regno me donaturum, I should have all he had, house, goods, and lauds, pro concubitu solo; [5187]neither was there ever any conjuror, I think, to charm his spirits that used such attention, or mighty words, as he did exquisite phrases, or general of any army so many stratagems to win a city, as he did tricks and devices to get the love of me. Thus men are active and passive, and women not far behind them in this kind: Audax ad omnia foemina, quae vel amat, vel odit. [5188]For half so boldly there can non Swear and lye as women can.

[5189]They will crack, counterfeit, and collogue as well as the best, with handkerchiefs, and wrought nightcaps, purses, posies, and such toys: as he justly complained, [5190]Cur mittis violas? nempe ut violentius uret; Quid violas violis me violenta tuis? &c.

Why dost thou send me violets, my dear? To make me burn more violent, I fear, With violets too violent thou art, To violate and wound my gentle heart.

When nothing else will serve, the last refuge is their tears. Haec scripsi (testor amorem) mixta lachrymis et suspiriis, 'twixt tears and sighs, I write this (I take love to witness), saith [5191]Chelidonia to Philonius. Lumina quae modo fulmina, jam flumina lachrymarum, those burning torches are now turned to floods of tears. Aretine's Lucretia, when her sweetheart came to town, [5192]wept in his bosom, that he might be persuaded those tears were shed for joy of his return. Quartilla in Petronius, when nought would move, fell a weeping, and as Balthazar Castilio paints them out, [5193]To these crocodile's tears they will add sobs, fiery sighs, and sorrowful countenance, pale colour, leanness, and if you do but stir abroad, these fiends are ready to meet you at every turn, with such a sluttish neglected habit, dejected look, as if they were now ready to die for your sake; and how, saith he, shall a young novice thus beset, escape? But believe them not. [5194]———animam ne crede puellis, Namque est foeminea tutior unda fide.

Thou thinkest, peradventure, because of her vows, tears, smiles, and protestations, she is solely thine, thou hast her heart, hand, and affection, when as indeed there is no such matter, as the [5195]Spanish bawd said, gaudet illa habere unum in lecto, alterum in porta, tertium qui domi suspiret, she will have one sweetheart in bed, another in the gate, a third sighing at home, a fourth, &c. Every young man she sees and likes hath as much interest, and shall as soon enjoy her as thyself. On the other side, which I have said, men are as false, let them swear, protest, and lie; [5196]Quod vobis dicunt, dixerunt mille puellis. They love some of them those eleven thousand virgins at once, and make them believe, each particular, he is besotted on her, or love one till they see another, and then her alone; like Milo's wife in Apuleius, lib. 2. Si quem conspexerit speciosae formae invenem, venustate ejus sumitur, et in eum animum intorquet. 'Tis their common compliment in that case, they care not what they swear, say or do: One while they slight them, care not for them, rail downright and scoff at them, and then again they will run mad, hang themselves, stab and kill, if they may not enjoy them. Henceforth, therefore,—nulla viro juranti foemina credat, let not maids believe them. These tricks and counterfeit passions are more familiar with women, [5197]finem hic dolori faciet aut vitae dies, miserere amantis, quoth Phaedra to Hippolitus. Joessa, in [5198]Lucian, told Pythias, a young man, to move him the more, that if he would not have her, she was resolved to make away herself. There is a Nemesis, and it cannot choose but grieve and trouble thee, to hear that I have either strangled or drowned myself for thy sake. Nothing so common to this sex as oaths, vows, and protestations, and as I have already said, tears, which they have at command; for they can so weep, that one would think their very hearts were dissolved within them, and would come out in tears; their eyes are like rocks, which still drop water, diariae lachrymae et sudoris in modum lurgeri promptae, saith [5199] Aristaenetus, they wipe away their tears like sweat, weep with one eye, laugh with the other; or as children [5200]weep and cry, they can both together. [5201]Neve puellarum lachrymis moveare memento, Ut flerent oculos erudiere suos.

Care not for women's tears, I counsel thee, They teach their eyes as much to weep as see.

And as much pity is to be taken of a woman weeping, as of a goose going barefoot. When Venus lost her son Cupid, she sent a crier about, to bid every one that met him take heed. [5202]Si fleatam aspicias, ne mox fallare, caveto; Sin arridebit, magis effuge; et oscula si fors Ferre volet, fugito; sunt oscula noxia, in ipsis Suntque venena labris &c.

Take heed of Cupid's tears, if cautious. And of his smiles and kisses I thee tell, If that he offer't, for they be noxious, And very poison in his lips doth dwell.

[5203]A thousand years, as Castilio conceives, will scarce serve to reckon up those allurements and guiles, that men and women use to deceive one another with.

SUBSECT. V.—_Bawds, Philters, Causes_.

When all other engines fail, that they can proceed no farther of themselves, their last refuge is to fly to bawds, panders, magical philters, and receipts; rather than fail, to the devil himself. Flectere si nequeunt superos, Acheronta movebunt. And by those indirect means many a man is overcome, and precipitated into this malady, if he take not good heed. For these bawds, first, they are everywhere so common, and so many, that, as he said of old [5204]Croton, omnes hic aut captantur, aut captant, either inveigle or be inveigled, we may say of most of our cities, there be so many professed, cunning bawds in them. Besides, bawdry is become an art, or a liberal science, as Lucian calls it; and there be such tricks and subtleties, so many nurses, old women, panders, letter carriers, beggars, physicians, friars, confessors, employed about it, that nullus tradere stilus sufficiat, one saith, [5205]———trecentis versibus Suas impuritias traloqui nemo potest.

Such occult notes, stenography, polygraphy, Nuntius animatus, or magnetical telling of their minds, which [5206]Cabeus the Jesuit, by the way, counts fabulous and false; cunning conveyances in this kind, that neither Juno's jealousy, nor Danae's custody, nor Argo's vigilancy can keep them safe. 'Tis the last and common refuge to use an assistant, such as that Catanean Philippa was to Joan Queen of Naples, a [5207]bawd's help, an old woman in the business, as [5208]Myrrha did when she doted on Cyniras, and could not compass her desire, the old jade her nurse was ready at a pinch, dic inquit, opemque me sine ferre tibi—et in hac mea (pone timorem) Sedulitas erit apta libi, fear it not, if it be possible to be done, I will effect it: non est mulieri mulier insuperabilis, [5209]Caelestina said, let him or her be never so honest, watched and reserved, 'tis hard but one of these old women will get access: and scarce shall you find, as [5210]Austin observes, in a nunnery a maid alone, if she cannot have egress, before her window you shall have an old woman, or some prating gossip, tell her some tales of this clerk, and that monk, describing or commending some young gentleman or other unto her. As I was walking in the street (saith a good fellow in Petronius) to see the town served one evening, [5211]I spied an old woman in a corner selling of cabbages and roots (as our hucksters do plums, apples, and such like fruits); mother (quoth he) can you tell where I can dwell? she, being well pleased with my foolish urbanity, replied, and why, sir, should I not tell? With that she rose up and went before me. I took her for a wise woman, and by-and-by she led me into a by-lane, and told me there I should dwell. I replied again, I knew not the house; but I perceived, on a sudden, by the naked queans, that I was now come into a bawdy-house, and then too late I began to curse the treachery of this old jade. Such tricks you shall have in many places, and amongst the rest it is ordinary in Venice, and in the island of Zante, for a man to be bawd to his own wife. No sooner shall you land or come on shore, but, as the Comical Poet hath it, [5212]Morem hunc meretrices habent, Ad portum mittunt servulos, ancillulas, Si qua peregrina navis in portum aderit, Rogant cujatis sit, quod ei nomen siet, Post illae extemplo sese adplicent.

These white devils have their panders, bawds, and factors in every place to seek about, and bring in customers, to tempt and waylay novices, and silly travellers. And when they have them once within their clutches, as Aegidius Mascrius in his comment upon Valerius Flaccus describes them, [5213]with promises and pleasant discourse, with gifts, tokens, and taking their opportunities, they lay nets which Lucretia cannot avoid, and baits that Hippolitus himself would swallow; they make such strong assaults and batteries, that the goddess of virginity cannot withstand them: give gifts and bribes to move Penelope, and with threats able to terrify Susanna. How many Proserpinas, with those catchpoles, doth Pluto take? These are the sleepy rods with which their souls touched descend to hell; this the glue or lime with which the wings of the mind once taken cannot fly away; the devil's ministers to allure, entice, &c. Many young men and maids, without all question, are inveigled by these Eumenides and their associates. But these are trivial and well known. The most sly, dangerous, and cunning bawds, are your knavish physicians, empirics, mass-priests, monks, [5214] Jesuits, and friars. Though it be against Hippocrates' oath, some of them will give a dram, promise to restore maidenheads, and do it without danger, make an abortion if need be, keep down their paps, hinder conception, procure lust, make them able with Satyrions, and now and then step in themselves. No monastery so close, house so private, or prison so well kept, but these honest men are admitted to censure and ask questions, to feel their pulse beat at their bedside, and all under pretence of giving physic. Now as for monks, confessors, and friars, as he said, [5215]Non audet Stygius Pluto tentare quod audet Effrenis monachus, plenaque fraudis anus;

That Stygian Pluto dares not tempt or do, What an old hag or monk will undergo;

either for himself to satisfy his own lust; for another, if he be hired thereto, or both at once, having such excellent means. For under colour of visitation, auricular confession, comfort and penance, they have free egress and regress, and corrupt, God knows, how many. They can such trades, some of them, practise physic, use exorcisms, &c. [5216]That whereas was wont to walk and Elf, There now walks the Limiter himself, In every bush and under every tree, There needs no other Incubus but he.

[5217]In the mountains between Dauphine and Savoy, the friars persuaded the good wives to counterfeit themselves possessed, that their husbands might give them free access, and were so familiar in those days with some of them, that, as one[5218]observes, wenches could not sleep in their beds for necromantic friars: and the good abbess in Boccaccio may in some sort witness, that rising betimes, mistook and put on the friar's breeches instead of her veil or hat. You have heard the story, I presume, of [5219] Paulina, a chaste matron in Aegesippus, whom one of Isis's priests did prostitute to Mundus, a young knight, and made her believe it was their god Anubis. Many such pranks are played by our Jesuits, sometimes in their own habits, sometimes in others, like soldiers, courtiers, citizens, scholars, gallants, and women themselves. Proteus-like, in all forms and disguises, that go abroad in the night, to inescate and beguile young women, or to have their pleasure of other men's wives; and, if we may believe [5220] some relations, they have wardrobes of several suits in the colleges for that purpose. Howsoever in public they pretend much zeal, seem to be very holy men, and bitterly preach against adultery, fornication, there are no verier bawds or whoremasters in a country; [5221]whose soul they should gain to God, they sacrifice to the devil. But I spare these men for the present. The last battering engines are philters, amulets, spells, charms, images, and such unlawful means: if they cannot prevail of themselves by the help of bawds, panders, and their adherents, they will fly for succour to the devil himself. I know there be those that deny the devil can do any such thing (Crato epist. 2. lib. med.), and many divines, there is no other fascination than that which comes by the eyes, of which I have formerly spoken, and if you desire to be better informed, read Camerarius, oper subcis. cent. 2. c. 5. It was given out of old, that a Thessalian wench had bewitched King Philip to dote upon her, and by philters enforced his love; but when Olympia, the Queen, saw the maid of an excellent beauty, well brought up, and qualified—these, quoth she, were the philters which inveigled King Philip; those the true charms, as Henry to Rosamond, [5222]One accent from thy lips the blood more warms, Than all their philters, exorcisms, and charms.

With this alone Lucretia brags [5223]in Aretine, she could do more than all philosophers, astrologers, alchemists, necromancers, witches, and the rest of the crew. As for herbs and philters, I could never skill of them, The sole philter that ever I used was kissing and embracing, by which alone I made men rave like beasts stupefied, and compelled them to worship me like an idol. In our times it is a common thing, saith Erastus, in his book de Lamiis, for witches to take upon them the making of these philters, [5224]to force men and women to love and hate whom they will, to cause tempests, diseases, &c., by charms, spells, characters, knots.—[5225]hic Thessala vendit Philtra. St. Hierome proves that they can do it (as in Hilarius' life, epist. lib. 3); he hath a story of a young man, that with a philter made a maid mad for the love of him, which maid was after cured by Hilarion. Such instances I find in John Nider, Formicar. lib. 5. cap. 5. Plutarch records of Lucullus that he died of a philter; and that Cleopatra used philters to inveigle Antony, amongst other allurements. Eusebius reports as much of Lucretia the poet. Panormitan, lib. 4. de gest. Aphonsi, hath a story of one Stephan, a Neapolitan knight, that by a philter was forced to run mad for love. But of all others, that which [5226]Petrarch, epist. famil. lib. 1. ep. 5, relates of Charles the Great (Charlemagne) is most memorable. He foolishly doted upon a woman of mean favour and condition, many years together, wholly delighting in her company, to the great grief and indignation of his friends and followers. When she was dead, he did embrace her corpse, as Apollo did the bay-tree for his Daphne, and caused her coffin (richly embalmed and decked with jewels) to be carried about with him, over which he still lamented. At last a venerable bishop, that followed his court, prayed earnestly to God (commiserating his lord and master's case) to know the true cause of this mad passion, and whence it proceeded; it was revealed to him, in fine, that the cause of the emperor's mad love lay under the dead woman's tongue. The bishop went hastily to the carcass, and took a small ring thence; upon the removal the emperor abhorred the corpse, and, instead [5227]of it, fell as furiously in love with the bishop, he would not suffer him to be out of his presence; which when the bishop perceived, he flung the ring into the midst of a great lake, where the king then was. From that hour the emperor neglected all his other houses, dwelt at [5228]Ache, built a fair house in the midst of the marsh, to his infinite expense, and a [5229]temple by it, where after he was buried, and in which city all his posterity ever since use to be crowned. Marcus the heretic is accused by Irenaeus, to have inveigled a young maid by this means; and some writers speak hardly of the Lady Katharine Cobham, that by the same art she circumvented Humphrey Duke of Gloucester to be her husband. Sycinius Aemilianus summoned [5230]Apuleius to come before Cneius Maximus, proconsul of Africa, that he being a poor fellow, had bewitched by philters Pudentilla, an ancient rich matron, to love him, and, being worth so many thousand sesterces, to be his wife. Agrippa, lib. 1. cap. 48. occult. philos. attributes much in this kind to philters, amulets, images: and Salmutz com. in Pancirol. Tit. 10. de Horol. Leo Afer, lib. 3, saith, 'tis an ordinary practice at Fez in Africa, Praestigiatores ibi plures, qui cogunt amores et concubitus: as skilful all out as that hyperborean magician, of whom Cleodemus, in [5231] Lucian, tells so many fine feats performed in this kind. But Erastus, Wierus, and others are against it; they grant indeed such things may be done, but (as Wierus discourseth, lib. 3. de Lamiis. cap. 37.) not by charms, incantations, philters, but the devil himself; lib. 5. cap. 2. he contends as much; so doth Freitagius, noc. med. cap. 74. Andreas Cisalpinus, cap. 5; and so much Sigismundus Scheretzius, cap. 9. de hirco nocturno, proves at large. [5232]Unchaste women by the help of these witches, the devil's kitchen maids, have their loves brought to them in the night, and carried back again by a phantasm flying in the air in the likeness of a goat. I have heard (saith he) divers confess, that they have been so carried on a goat's back to their sweethearts, many miles in a night. Others are of opinion that these feats, which most suppose to be done by charms and philters, are merely effected by natural causes, as by man's blood chemically prepared, which much avails, saith Ernestus Burgravius, in Lucerna vitae et mortis Indice, ad amorem conciliandum et odium, (so huntsmen make their dogs love them, and farmers their pullen,) 'tis an excellent philter, as he holds, sed vulgo prodere grande nefas, but not fit to be made common: and so be Mala insana, mandrake roots, mandrake [5233]apples, precious stones, dead men's clothes, candles, mala Bacchica, panis porcinus, Hyppomanes, a certain hair in a [5234]wolf's tail, &c., of which Rhasis, Dioscorides, Porta, Wecker, Rubeus, Mizaldus, Albertus, treat: a swallow's heart, dust of a dove's heart, multum valent linguae viperarum, cerebella asinorum, tela equina, palliola quibus infantes obvoluti nascuntur, funis strangulati hominis, lapis de nido Aquilae, &c. See more in Sckenkius observat. medicinal, lib. 4. &c., which are as forcible and of as much virtue as that fountain Salmacis in [5235] Vitruvius, Ovid, Strabo, that made all such mad for love that drank of it, or that hot bath at [5236]Aix in Germany, wherein Cupid once dipped his arrows, which ever since hath a peculiar virtue to make them lovers all that wash in it. But hear the poet's own description of it,

[5237]Unde hic fervor aquis terra erumpentibus uda? Tela olim hic ludens ignea tinxit amor;

Et gaudens stridore novo, fervete perennes Inquit, et haec pharetrae sint monumenta meae.

Ex illo fervet, rarusque hic mergitur hospes, Cui non titillet pectora blandus amor.

These above-named remedies have happily as much power as that bath of Aix, or Venus' enchanted girdle, in which, saith Natales Comes, Love toys and dalliance, pleasantness, sweetness, persuasions, subtleties, gentle speeches, and all witchcraft to enforce love, was contained. Read more of these in Agrippa de occult. Philos. lib. 1. cap. 50. et 45. Malleus malefic. part. 1. quaest. 7. Delrio tom. 2. quest. 3. lib. 3. Wierus, Pomponatis, cap. 8. de incantat. Ficinus, lib. 13. Theol. Plat. Calcagninus, &c.

MEMB. III.

_Symptoms or signs of Love Melancholy, in Body, Mind, good, bad, &c._

Symptoms are either of body or mind; of body, paleness, leanness, dryness, &c. [5238]Pallidus omnis amans, color hic est aptus amanti, as the poet describes lovers: fecit amor maciem, love causeth leanness. [5239] Avicenna de Ilishi, c. 33. makes hollow eyes, dryness, symptoms of this disease, to go smiling to themselves, or acting as if they saw or heard some delectable object. Valleriola, lib. 3. observat. cap. 7. Laurentius, cap. 10. Aelianus Montaltus de Her. amore. Langius, epist. 24. lib. 1. epist. med. deliver as much, corpus exangue pallet, corpus gracile, oculi cavi, lean, pale,—ut nudis qui pressit calcibus anguem, as one who trod with naked foot upon a snake, hollow-eyed, their eyes are hidden in their heads,—[5240]Tenerque nitidi corposis cecidit decor, they pine away, and look ill with waking, cares, sighs. Et qui tenebant signa Phoebeae facis Oculi, nihil gentile nec patrium micant.

And eyes that once rivalled the locks of Phoebus, lose the patrial and paternal lustre. With groans, griefs, sadness, dullness, [5241]———Nulla jam Cereris subi Cura aut salutis———

want of appetite, &c. A reason of all this, [5242]Jason Pratensis gives, because of the distraction of the spirits the liver doth not perform his part, nor turns the aliment into blood as it ought, and for that cause the members are weak for want of sustenance, they are lean and pine, as the herbs of my garden do this month of May, for want of rain. The green sickness therefore often happeneth to young women, a cachexia or an evil habit to men, besides their ordinary sighs, complaints, and lamentations, which are too frequent. As drops from a still,—ut occluso stillat ab igne liquor, doth Cupid's fire provoke tears from a true lover's eyes, [5243]The mighty Mars did oft for Venus shriek, Privily moistening his horrid cheek With womanish tears,———

[5244]———ignis distillat in undas, Testis erit largus qui rigat ora liquor,

with many such like passions. When Chariclia was enamoured of Theagines, as [5245]Heliodorus sets her out, she was half distracted, and spake she knew not what, sighed to herself, lay much awake, and was lean upon a sudden: and when she was besotted on her son-in-law, [5246]pallor deformis, marcentes oculi, &c., she had ugly paleness, hollow eyes, restless thoughts, short wind, &c. Euryalus, in an epistle sent to Lucretia, his mistress, complains amongst other grievances, tu mihi et somni et cibi usum abstulisti, thou hast taken my stomach and my sleep from me. So he describes it aright: [5247]His sleep, his meat, his drink, in him bereft, That lean he waxeth, and dry as a shaft, His eyes hollow and grisly to behold, His hew pale and ashen to unfold, And solitary he was ever alone, And waking all the night making moan.

Theocritus Edyl. 2. makes a fair maid of Delphos, in love with a young man of Minda, confess as much, Ut vidi ut insanii, ut animus mihi male affectiis est, Miserae mihi forma tabescebat, neque amplius pompam Ullum curabam, aut quando domum redieram Novi, sed me ardens quidam morbus consumebat, Decubui in lecto dies decem, et noctes decem, Defluebant capite capilli, ipsaque sola reliqua Ossa et cutis———

No sooner seen I had, but mad I was. My beauty fail'd, and I no more did care For any pomp, I knew not where I was, But sick I was, and evil I did fare; I lay upon my bed ten days and nights, A skeleton I was in all men's sights.

All these passions are well expressed by [5248]that heroical poet in the person of Dido: At non infelix animi Phaenissa, nec unquam Solvitur in somnos, oculisque ac pectore amores Accipit; ingeminant curae, rursusque resurgens Saevit amor, &c.———

Unhappy Dido could not sleep at all, But lies awake, and takes no rest: And up she gets again, whilst care and grief, And raging love torment her breast.

Accius Sanazarius Egloga 2. de Galatea, in the same manner feigns his Lychoris [5249]tormenting herself for want of sleep, sighing, sobbing, and lamenting; and Eustathius in his Ismenias much troubled, and [5250] panting at heart, at the sight of his mistress, he could not sleep, his bed was thorns. [5251]All make leanness, want of appetite, want of sleep ordinary symptoms, and by that means they are brought often so low, so much altered and changed, that as [5252]he jested in the comedy, one scarce know them to be the same men. Attenuant juvenum vigilatae corpora noctes, Curaque et immenso qui fit amore dolor.

Many such symptoms there are of the body to discern lovers by,—quis enim bene celet amorem? Can a man, saith Solomon, Prov. vi. 27, carry fire in his bosom and not burn? it will hardly be hid; though they do all they can to hide it, it must out, plus quam mille notis—it may be described, [5253]quoque magis tegitur, tectus magis aestuat ignis. 'Twas Antiphanes the comedian's observation of old, Love and drunkenness cannot be concealed, Celare alia possis, haec praeter duo, vini potum, &c. words, looks, gestures, all will betray them; but two of the most notable signs are observed by the pulse and countenance. When Antiochus, the son of Seleucus, was sick for Stratonice, his mother-in-law, and would not confess his grief, or the cause of his disease, Erasistratus, the physician, found him by his pulse and countenance to be in love with her, [5254]because that when she came in presence, or was named, his pulse varied, and he blushed besides. In this very sort was the love of Callices, the son of Polycles, discovered by Panacaeas the physician, as you may read the story at large in [5255]Aristenaetus. By the same signs Galen brags that he found out Justa, Boethius the consul's wife, to dote on Pylades the player, because at his name still she both altered pulse and countenance, as [5256] Polyarchus did at the name of Argenis. Franciscus Valesius, l. 3. controv. 13. med. contr. denies there is any such pulsus amatorius, or that love may be so discerned; but Avicenna confirms this of Galen out of his experience, lib. 3. Fen. 1. and Gordonius, cap. 20. [5257]Their pulse, he saith, is ordinate and swift, if she go by whom he loves, Langius, epist. 24. lib. 1. med. epist. Neviscanus, lib. 4. numer. 66. syl. nuptialis, Valescus de Taranta, Guianerius, Tract. 15. Valleriola sets down this for a symptom, [5258]Difference of pulse, neglect of business, want of sleep, often sighs, blushings, when there is any speech of their mistress, are manifest signs. But amongst the rest, Josephus Struthis, that Polonian, in the fifth book, cap. 17. of his Doctrine of Pulses, holds that this and all other passions of the mind may be discovered by the pulse. [5259]And if you will know, saith he, whether the men suspected be such or such, touch their arteries, &c. And in his fourth book, fourteenth chapter, he speaks of this particular pulse, [5260] Love makes an unequal pulse, &c., he gives instance of a gentlewoman, [5261]a patient of his, whom by this means he found to be much enamoured, and with whom: he named many persons, but at the last when his name came whom he suspected, [5262]her pulse began to vary and to beat swifter, and so by often feeling her pulse, he perceived what the matter was. Apollonius Argonaut. lib. 4. poetically setting down the meeting of Jason and Medea, makes them both to blush at one another's sight, and at the first they were not able to speak. [5263]———totus Parmeno Tremo, horreoque postquam aspexi hanc,

Phaedria trembled at the sight of Thais, others sweat, blow short, Crura tremunt ac poplites,—are troubled with palpitation of heart upon the like occasion, cor proximum ori, saith [5264]Aristenaetus, their heart is at their mouth, leaps, these burn and freeze, (for love is fire, ice, hot, cold, itch, fever, frenzy, pleurisy, what not) they look pale, red, and commonly blush at their first congress; and sometimes through violent agitation of spirits bleed at nose, or when she is talked of; which very sign [5265]Eustathius makes an argument of Ismene's affection, that when she met her sweetheart by chance, she changed her countenance to a maiden-blush. 'Tis a common thing amongst lovers, as [5266]Arnulphus, that merry-conceited bishop, hath well expressed in a facetious epigram of his, Alterno facies sibi dat responsa rubore, Et tener affectum prodit utrique pudor, &c.

Their faces answer, and by blushing say, How both affected are, they do betray.

But the best conjectures are taken from such symptoms as appear when they are both present; all their speeches, amorous glances, actions, lascivious gestures will betray them; they cannot contain themselves, but that they will be still kissing. [5267]Stratocles, the physician, upon his wedding-day, when he was at dinner, Nihil prius sorbillavit, quam tria basia puellae pangeret, could not eat his meat for kissing the bride, &c. First a word, and then a kiss, then some other compliment, and then a kiss, then an idle question, then a kiss, and when he had pumped his wits dry, can say no more, kissing and colling are never out of season, [5268]Hoc non deficit incipitque semper, 'tis never at an end, [5269]another kiss, and then another, another, and another, &c.—huc ades O Thelayra—Come kiss me Corinna? [5270]Centum basia centies, Centum basia millies, Mille basia millies, Et tot millia millies,

Quot guttae Siculo mari, Quot sunt sidera coelo,

Istis purpureis genis, Istis turgidulis labris, Ocelisque loquaculis,

Figam continuo impetu; O formosa Neaera. (As Catullus to Lesbia.)

Da mihi basia mille, deindi centum, Dein mille altera, da secunda centum, Dein usque altera millia, deinde centum.

[5271]———first give a hundred, Then a thousand, then another Hundred, then unto the other Add a thousand, and so more, &c.

Till you equal with the store, all the grass, &c. So Venus did by her Adonis, the moon with Endymion, they are still dallying and culling, as so many doves, Columbatimque labra conserentes labiis, and that with alacrity and courage, [5272]Affligunt avide corpus, junguntque salivas Oris, et inspirant prensantes dentibus ora.

[5273]Tam impresso ore ut vix inde labra detrahant, cervice reclinata, as Lamprias in Lucian kissed Thais, Philippus her [5274]Aristaenetus, amore lymphato tam uriose adhaesit, ut vix labra solvere esset, totumque os mihi contrivit; [5275]Aretine's Lucretia, by a suitor of hers was so saluted, and 'tis their ordinary fashion. ———dentes illudunt saepe labellis, Atque premunt arete adfigentes oscula———

They cannot, I say, contain themselves, they will be still not only joining hands, kissing, but embracing, treading on their toes, &c., diving into their bosoms, and that libenter, et cum delectatione, as [5276] Philostratus confesseth to his mistress; and Lamprias in Lucian, Mammillas premens, per sinum clam dextra, &c., feeling their paps, and that scarce honestly sometimes: as the old man in the [5277]Comedy well observed of his son, Non ego te videbam manum huic puellae in sinum insere? Did not I see thee put thy hand into her bosom? go to, with many such love tricks. [5278]Juno in Lucian deorum, tom. 3. dial. 3. complains to Jupiter of Ixion, [5279]he looked so attentively on her, and sometimes would sigh and weep in her company, and when I drank by chance, and gave Ganymede the cup, he would desire to drink still in the very cup that I drank of, and in the same place where I drank, and would kiss the cup, and then look steadily on me, and sometimes sigh, and then again smile. If it be so they cannot come near to dally, have not that opportunity, familiarity, or acquaintance to confer and talk together; yet if they be in presence, their eye will betray them: Ubi amor ibi oculus, as the common saying is, where I look I like, and where I like I love; but they will lose themselves in her looks. Alter in alterius jactantes lumina vultus, Quaerebant taciti noster ubi esset amor.

They cannot look off whom they love, they will impregnare eam, ipsis oculis, deflower her with their eyes, be still gazing, staring, stealing faces, smiling, glancing at her, as [5280]Apollo on Leucothoe, the moon on her [5281]Endymion, when she stood still in Caria, and at Latmos caused her chariot to be stayed. They must all stand and admire, or if she go by, look after her as long as they can see her, she is animae auriga, as Anacreon calls her, they cannot go by her door or window, but, as an adamant, she draws their eyes to it; though she be not there present, they must needs glance that way, and look back to it. Aristenaetus of [5282] Exithemus, Lucian, in his Imagim. of himself, and Tatius of Clitophon, say as much, Ille oculos de Leucippe [5283]nunquam dejiciebat, and many lovers confess when they came in their mistress' presence, they could not hold off their eyes, but looked wistfully and steadily on her, inconnivo aspectu, with much eagerness and greediness, as if they would look through, or should never have enough sight of her. Fixis ardens obtutibus haeret; so she will do by him, drink to him with her eyes, nay, drink him up, devour him, swallow him, as Martial's Mamurra is remembered to have done: Inspexit molles pueros, oculisque comedit, &c. There is a pleasant story to this purpose in Navigat. Vertom. lib. 3. cap. 5. The sultan of Sana's wife in Arabia, because Vertomannus was fair and white, could not look off him, from sunrising to sunsetting; she could not desist; she made him one day come into her chamber, et geminae, horae spatio intuebatur, non a me anquam aciem oculorum avertebat, me observans veluti Cupidinem quendam, for two hours' space she still gazed on him. A young man in [5284]Lucian fell in love with Venus' picture; he came every morning to her temple, and there continued all day long [5285]from sunrising to sunset, unwilling to go home at night, sitting over against the goddess's picture, he did continually look upon her, and mutter to himself I know not what. If so be they cannot see them whom they love, they will still be walking and waiting about their mistress's doors, taking all opportunity to see them, as in [5286]Longus Sophista, Daphnis and Chloe, two lovers, were still hovering at one another's gates, he sought all occasions to be in her company, to hunt in summer, and catch birds in the frost about her father's house in the winter, that she might see him, and he her. [5287]A king's palace was not so diligently attended, saith Aretine's Lucretia, as my house was when I lay in Rome; the porch and street was ever full of some, walking or riding, on set purpose to see me; their eye was still upon my window; as they passed by, they could not choose but look back to my house when they were past, and sometimes hem or cough, or take some impertinent occasion to speak aloud, that I might look out and observe them. 'Tis so in other places, 'tis common to every lover, 'tis all his felicity to be with her, to talk with her; he is never well but in her company, and will walk [5288] seven or eight times a day through the street where she dwells, and make sleeveless errands to see her; plotting still where, when, and how to visit her, [5289]Levesque sub nocte susurri, Composita repetuntur hora.

And when he is gone, he thinks every minute an hour, every hour as long as a day, ten days a whole year, till he see her again. [5290]Tempora si numeres, bene quae numeramus amantes. And if thou be in love, thou wilt say so too, Et longum formosa, vale, farewell sweetheart, vale charissima Argenis, &c. Farewell my dear Argenis, once more farewell, farewell. And though he is to meet her by compact, and that very shortly, perchance tomorrow, yet both to depart, he'll take his leave again, and again, and then come back again, look after, and shake his hand, wave his hat afar off. Now gone, he thinks it long till he see her again, and she him, the clocks are surely set back, the hour's past, [5291]Hospita Demophoon tua te Rodopheia Phillis, Ultra promissum tempus abesse queror.

She looks out at window still to see whether he come, [5292]and by report Phillis went nine times to the seaside that day, to see if her Demophoon were approaching, and [5293]Troilus to the city gates, to look for his Cresseid. She is ill at ease, and sick till she see him again, peevish in the meantime; discontent, heavy, sad, and why comes he not? where is he? why breaks he promise? why tarries he so long? sure he is not well; sure he hath some mischance; sure he forgets himself and me; with infinite such. And then, confident again, up she gets, out she looks, listens, and inquires, hearkens, kens; every man afar off is sure he, every stirring in the street, now he is there, that's he, male aurorae, malae soli dicit, deiratque, &c., the longest day that ever was, so she raves, restless and impatient; for Amor non patitur moras, love brooks no delays: the time's quickly gone that's spent in her company, the miles short, the way pleasant; all weather is good whilst he goes to her house, heat or cold; though his teeth chatter in his head, he moves not; wet or dry, 'tis all one; wet to the skin, he feels it not, cares not at least for it, but will easily endure it and much more, because it is done with alacrity, and for his mistress's sweet sake; let the burden be never so heavy, love makes it light. [5294]Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and it was quickly gone because he loved her. None so merry; if he may happily enjoy her company, he is in heaven for a time; and if he may not, dejected in an instant, solitary, silent, he departs weeping, lamenting, sighing, complaining. But the symptoms of the mind in lovers are almost infinite, and so diverse, that no art can comprehend them; though they be merry sometimes, and rapt beyond themselves for joy: yet most part, love is a plague, a torture, a hell, a bitter sweet passion at last; [5295]Amor melle et felle est faecundissimus, gustum dat dulcem et amarum. 'Tis suavis amaricies, dolentia delectabilis, hilare tormentum; [5296]Et me melle beant suaviora, Et me felle necant amariora.

like a summer fly or sphinx's wings, or a rainbow of all colours, Quae ad solis radios conversae aureae erant, Adversus nubes ceruleae, quale jabar iridis,

fair, foul, and full of variation, though most part irksome and bad. For in a word, the Spanish Inquisition is not comparable to it; a torment and [5297]execution as it is, as he calls it in the poet, an unquenchable fire, and what not? [5298]From it, saith Austin, arise biting cares, perturbations, passions, sorrows, fears, suspicions, discontents, contentions, discords, wars, treacheries, enmities, flattery, cozening, riot, impudence, cruelty, knavery, &c. [5299]———dolor, querelae, Lamentatio, lachrymae perennes, Languor, anxietas, amaritudo; Aut si triste magis potest quid esse, Hos tu das comites Neaera vitae.

These be the companions of lovers, and the ordinary symptoms, as the poet repeats them. [5300]In amore haec insunt vitia, Suspiciones, inimicitiae, audaciae, Bellum, pax rursum, &c.

[5301]Insomnia, aerumna, error, terror, et fuga, Excogitantia excors immodestia, Petulantia, cupiditas, et malevolentia; Inhaeret etiam aviditas, desidia, injuria, Inopia, contumelia et dispendium, &c.

In love these vices are; suspicions. Peace, war, and impudence, detractions. Dreams, cares, and errors, terrors and affrights, Immodest pranks, devices, sleights and flights, Heart-burnings, wants, neglects, desire of wrong, Loss continual, expense and hurt among.

Every poet is full of such catalogues of love symptoms; but fear and sorrow may justly challenge the chief place. Though Hercules de Saxonia, cap. 3. Tract. de melanch. will exclude fear from love melancholy, yet I am otherwise persuaded. [5302]Res est solliciti plena timoris amor. 'Tis full of fear, anxiety, doubt, care, peevishness, suspicion; it turns a man into a woman, which made Hesiod belike put Fear and Paleness Venus' daughters, ———Marti clypeos atque arma secanti Alma Venus peperit Pallorem, unaque Timorem:

because fear and love are still linked together. Moreover they are apt to mistake, amplify, too credulous sometimes, too full of hope and confidence, and then again very jealous, unapt to believe or entertain any good news. The comical poet hath prettily painted out this passage amongst the rest in a [5303]dialogue betwixt Mitio and Aeschines, a gentle father and a lovesick son. Be of good cheer, my son, thou shalt have her to wife. Ae. Ah father, do you mock me now? M. I mock thee, why? Ae. That which I so earnestly desire, I more suspect and fear. M. Get you home, and send for her to be your wife. Ae. What now a wife, now father, &c. These doubts, anxieties, suspicions, are the least part of their torments; they break many times from passions to actions, speak fair, and flatter, now most obsequious and willing, by and by they are averse, wrangle, fight, swear, quarrel, laugh, weep: and he that doth not so by fits, [5304]Lucian holds, is not thoroughly touched with this loadstone of love. So their actions and passions are intermixed, but of all other passions, sorrow hath the greatest share; [5305]love to many is bitterness itself; rem amaram Plato calls it, a bitter potion, an agony, a plague. Eripite hanc pestem perniciemque mihi; Quae mihi subrepens imos ut torpor in artus, Expulit ex omni pectore laetitias.

O take away this plague, this mischief from me, Which, as a numbness over all my body, Expels my joys, and makes my soul so heavy.

Phaedria had a true touch of this, when he cried out, [5306]O Thais, utinam esset mihi Pars aequa amoris tecum, ac paritor fieret ut Aut hoc tibi doleret itidem, ut mihi dolet.

O Thais, would thou hadst of these my pains a part, Or as it doth me now, so it would make thee smart.

So had that young man, when he roared again for discontent, [5307]Jactor, crucior, agitor, stimulor, Versor in amoris rota miser, Exanimor, feror, distrahor, deripior, Ubi sum, ibi non sum; ubi non sum, ibi est animus.

I am vext and toss'd, and rack'd on love's wheel: Where not, I am; but where am, do not feel.

The moon in [5308]Lucian made her moan to Venus, that she was almost dead for love, pereo equidem amore, and after a long tale, she broke off abruptly and wept, [5309]O Venus, thou knowest my poor heart. Charmides, in [5310]Lucian, was so impatient, that he sobbed and sighed, and tore his hair, and said he would hang himself. I am undone, O sister Tryphena, I cannot endure these love pangs; what shall I do? Vos O dii Averrunci solvite me his curis, O ye gods, free me from these cares and miseries, out of the anguish of his soul, [5311]Theocles prays. Shall I say, most part of a lover's life is full of agony, anxiety, fear, and grief, complaints, sighs, suspicions, and cares, (heigh-ho, my heart is woe) full of silence and irksome solitariness? Frequenting shady bowers in discontent, To the air his fruitless clamours he will vent.

except at such times that he hath lucida intervalla, pleasant gales, or sudden alterations, as if his mistress smile upon him, give him a good look, a kiss, or that some comfortable message be brought him, his service is accepted, &c. He is then too confident and rapt beyond himself, as if he had heard the nightingale in the spring before the cuckoo, or as [5312]Calisto was at Malebaeas' presence, Quis unquam hac mortali vita, tam gloriosum corpus vidit? humanitatem transcendere videor., &c. who ever saw so glorious a sight, what man ever enjoyed such delight? More content cannot be given of the gods, wished, had or hoped of any mortal man. There is no happiness in the world comparable to his, no content, no joy to this, no life to love, he is in paradise. [5313]Quis me uno vivit felicior? aut magis hac est Optandum vita dicere quis poterit?

Who lives so happy as myself? what bliss In this our life may be compar'd to this?

He will not change fortune in that case with a prince, [5314]Donec gratus eram tibi, Persarum vigui rege beatior.

The Persian kings are not so jovial as he is, O [5315]festus dies hominis, O happy day; so Chaerea exclaims when he came from Pamphila his sweetheart well pleased, Nunc est profecto interfici cum perpeti me possem, Ne hoc gaudium contaminet vita aliqua aegritudine.

He could find in his heart to be killed instantly, lest if he live longer, some sorrow or sickness should contaminate his joys. A little after, he was so merrily set upon the same occasion, that he could not contain himself. [5316]O populares, ecquis me vivit hodie fortunatior? Nemo hercule quisquam; nam in me dii plane potestatem Suam omnem ostendere;

Is't possible (O my countrymen) for any living to be so happy as myself? No sure it cannot be, for the gods have shown all their power, all their goodness in me. Yet by and by when this young gallant was crossed in his wench, he laments, and cries, and roars downright: Occidi—I am undone, Neque virgo est usquam, neque ego, qui e conspectu illam amisi meo, Ubi quaeram, ubi investigem, quem percunter, quam insistam viam?

The virgin's gone, and I am gone, she's gone, she's gone, and what shall I do? where shall I seek her, where shall I find her, whom shall I ask? what way, what course shall I take? what will become of me—[5317]vitales auras invitus agebat, he was weary of his life, sick, mad, and desperate, [5318]utinam mihi esset aliquid hic, quo nunc me praecipitem darem. 'Tis not Chaereas' case this alone, but his, and his, and every lover's in the like state. If he hear ill news, have bad success in his suit, she frown upon him, or that his mistress in his presence respect another more (as [5319]Hedus observes) prefer another suitor, speak more familiarly to him, or use more kindly than himself, if by nod, smile, message, she discloseth herself to another, he is instantly tormented, none so dejected as he is, utterly undone, a castaway, [5320]In quem fortuna omnia odiorum suorum crudelissima tela exonerat, a dead man, the scorn of fortune, a monster of fortune, worse than nought, the loss of a kingdom had been less. [5321]Aretine's Lucretia made very good proof of this, as she relates it herself. For when I made some of my suitors believe I would betake myself to a nunnery, they took on, as if they had lost father and mother, because they were for ever after to want my company. Omnes labores leves fuere, all other labour was light: [5322]but this might not be endured. Tui carendum quod erat—for I cannot be without thy company, mournful Amyntas, painful Amyntas, careful Amyntas; better a metropolitan city were sacked, a royal army overcome, an invincible armada sunk, and twenty thousand kings should perish, than her little finger ache, so zealous are they, and so tender of her good. They would all turn friars for my sake, as she follows it, in hope by that means to meet, or see me again, as my confessors, at stool-ball, or at barley-break: And so afterwards when an importunate suitor came, [5323]If I had bid my maid say that I was not at leisure, not within, busy, could not speak with him, he was instantly astonished, and stood like a pillar of marble; another went swearing, chafing, cursing, foaming. [5324]Illa sibi vox ipsa Jovis violentior ira, cum tonat, &c. the voice of a mandrake had been sweeter music: but he to whom I gave entertainment, was in the Elysian fields, ravished for joy, quite beyond himself. 'Tis the general humour of all lovers, she is their stern, pole-star, and guide. [5325]Deliciumque animi, deliquiumque sui. As a tulipant to the sun (which our herbalists calls Narcissus) when it shines, is Admirandus flos ad radios solis se pandens, a glorious flower exposing itself; [5326]but when the sun sets, or a tempest comes, it hides itself, pines away, and hath no pleasure left, (which Carolus Gonzaga, duke of Mantua, in a cause not unlike, sometimes used for an impress) do all inamorates to their mistress; she is their sun, their Primum mobile, or anima informans; this [5327]one hath elegantly expressed by a windmill, still moved by the wind, which otherwise hath no motion of itself. Sic tua ni spiret gratia, truncus ero. He is wholly animated from her breath, his soul lives in her body, [5328]sola claves habet interitus et salutis, she keeps the keys of his life: his fortune ebbs and flows with her favour, a gracious or bad aspect turns him up or down, Mens mea lucescit Lucia luce tua. Howsoever his present state be pleasing or displeasing, 'tis continuate so long as he [5329]loves, he can do nothing, think of nothing but her; desire hath no rest, she is his cynosure, Hesperus and vesper, his morning and evening star, his goddess, his mistress, his life, his soul, his everything; dreaming, waking, she is always in his mouth; his heart, his eyes, ears, and all his thoughts are full of her. His Laura, his Victorina, his Columbina, Flavia, Flaminia, Caelia, Delia, or Isabella, (call her how you will) she is the sole object of his senses, the substance of his soul, nidulus animae suae, he magnifies her above measure, totus in illa, full of her, can breathe nothing but her. I adore Melebaea, saith lovesick [5330]Calisto, I believe in Melebaea, I honour, admire and love my Melebaea; His soul was soused, imparadised, imprisoned in his lady. When [5331]Thais took her leave of Phaedria,—mi Phaedria, et nunquid aliud vis? Sweet heart (she said) will you command me any further service? he readily replied, and gave in this charge, ———egone quid velim? Dies noctesque ames me, me desideres, Me somnies, me expectes, me cogites, Me speres, me te oblectes, mecum tota sis, Meus fac postremo animus, quando ego sum tuus.

Dost ask (my dear) what service I will have? To love me day and night is all I crave, To dream on me, to expect, to think on me, Depend and hope, still covet me to see, Delight thyself in me, be wholly mine, For know, my love, that I am wholly thine.

But all this needed not, you will say; if she affect once, she will be his, settle her love on him, on him alone, [5332]———illum absens absentem Auditque videtque———

she can, she must think and dream of nought else but him, continually of him, as did Orpheus on his Eurydice, Te dulcis conjux, te solo in littore mecum, Te veniente die, te discedente canebam.

On thee sweet wife was all my song. Morn, evening, and all along.

And Dido upon her Aeneas; ———et quae me insomnia terrent, Multa viri virtus, et plurima currit imago.

And ever and anon she thinks upon the man That was so fine, so fair, so blithe, so debonair.

Clitophon, in the first book of Achilles, Tatius, complaineth how that his mistress Leucippe tormented him much more in the night than in the day. [5333]For all day long he had some object or other to distract his senses, but in the night all ran upon her. All night long he lay [5334] awake, and could think of nothing else but her, he could not get her out of his mind; towards morning, sleep took a little pity on him, he slumbered awhile, but all his dreams were of her. [5335]———te nocte sub atra Alloquor, amplector, falsaque in imagine somni, Gaudia solicitam palpant evanida mentem.

In the dark night I speak, embrace, and find That fading joys deceive my careful mind.

The same complaint Euryalus makes to his Lucretia, [5336]day and night I think of thee, I wish for thee, I talk of thee, call on thee, look for thee, hope for thee, delight myself in thee, day and night I love thee. [5337]Nec mihi vespere Surgente decedunt amores, Nec rapidum fugiente solem.

Morning, evening, all is alike with me, I have restless thoughts, [5338] Te vigilans oculis, animo te nocte requiro. Still I think on thee. Anima non est ubi animat, sed ubi amat. I live and breathe in thee, I wish for thee. [5339]O niveam quae te poterit mihi reddere lucem, O mihi felicem terque quaterque diem.

O happy day that shall restore thee to my sight. In the meantime he raves on her; her sweet face, eyes, actions, gestures, hands, feet, speech, length, breadth, height, depth, and the rest of her dimensions, are so surveyed, measured, and taken, by that Astrolabe of phantasy, and that so violently sometimes, with such earnestness and eagerness, such continuance, so strong an imagination, that at length he thinks he sees her indeed; he talks with her, he embraceth her, Ixion-like, pro Junone nubem, a cloud for Juno, as he said. Nihil praeter Leucippen cerno, Leucippe mihi perpetuo in oculis, et animo versatur, I see and meditate of nought but Leucippe. Be she present or absent, all is one; [5340]Et quamvis aberat placidae praesentia formae Quem dederat praesens forma, manebat amor.

That impression of her beauty is still fixed in his mind,—[5341]haerent infixi pectora vultus; as he that is bitten with a mad dog thinks all he sees dogs—dogs in his meat, dogs in his dish, dogs in his drink: his mistress is in his eyes, ears, heart, in all his senses. Valleriola had a merchant, his patient, in the same predicament; and [5342]Ulricus Molitor, out of Austin, hath a story of one, that through vehemency of his love passion, still thought he saw his mistress present with him, she talked with him, Et commisceri cum ea vigilans videbatur, still embracing him. Now if this passion of love can produce such effects, if it be pleasantly intended, what bitter torments shall it breed, when it is with fear and continual sorrow, suspicion, care, agony, as commonly it is, still accompanied, what an intolerable [5343]pain must it be? ———Non tam grandes Gargara culmos, quot demerso Pectore curas longa nexas Usque catena, vel quae penitus Crudelis amor vulnera miscet.

Mount Gargarus hath not so many stems As lover's breast hath grievous wounds, And linked cares, which love compounds.

When the King of Babylon would have punished a courtier of his, for loving of a young lady of the royal blood, and far above his fortunes, [5344] Apollonius in presence by all means persuaded to let him alone; For to love and not enjoy was a most unspeakable torment, no tyrant could invent the like punishment; as a gnat at a candle, in a short space he would consume himself. For love is a perpetual [5345]flux, angor animi, a warfare, militat omni amans, a grievous wound is love still, and a lover's heart is Cupid's quiver, a consuming [5346]fire, [5347]accede ad hunc ignem, &c. an inextinguishable fire. [5348]———alitur et crescit malum, Et ardet intus, qualis Aetnaeo vapor Exundat antro———

As Aetna rageth, so doth love, and more than Aetna or any material fire. [5349]———Nam amor saepe Lypareo Vulcano ardentiorem flammam incendere solet.

Vulcan's flames are but smoke to this. For fire, saith [5350]Xenophon, burns them alone that stand near it, or touch it; but this fire of love burneth and scorcheth afar off, and is more hot and vehement than any material fire: [5351]Ignis in igne furit, 'tis a fire in a fire, the quintessence of fire. For when Nero burnt Rome, as Calisto urgeth, he fired houses, consumed men's bodies and goods; but this fire devours the soul itself, and [5352]one soul is worth a hundred thousand bodies. No water can quench this wild fire. [5353]———In pectus coecos absorbuit ignes, Ignes qui nec aqua perimi potuere, nec imbre Diminui, neque graminibus, magicisque susurris.

A fire he took into his breast, Which water could not quench.

Nor herb, nor art, nor magic spells Could quell, nor any drench.

Except it be tears and sighs, for so they may chance find a little ease. [5354]Sic candentia colla, sic patens frons, Sic me blanda tui Neaera ocelli, Sic pares minio genae perurunt, Ut ni me lachrymae rigent perennes, Totus in tenues eam favillas.

So thy white neck, Neaera, me poor soul Doth scorch, thy cheeks, thy wanton eyes that roll: Were it not for my dropping tears that hinder, I should be quite burnt up forthwith to cinder.

This fire strikes like lightning, which made those old Grecians paint Cupid, in many of their [5355]temples, with Jupiter's thunderbolts in his hands; for it wounds, and cannot be perceived how, whence it came, where it pierced. [5356]Urimur, et coecum, pectora vulnus habent, and can hardly be discerned at first. [5357]———Est mollis flamma medullas, Et tacitum insano vivit sub pectore vulnus.

A gentle wound, an easy fire it was, And sly at first, and secretly did pass.

But by-and-by it began to rage and burn amain; [5358]———Pectus insanum vapor. Amorque torret, intus saevus vorat Penitus medullas, atque per venas meat Visceribus ignis mersus, et venis latens, Ut agilis altas flamma percurrit trabes.

This fiery vapour rageth in the veins, And scorcheth entrails, as when fire burns A house, it nimbly runs along the beams, And at the last the whole it overturns.

Abraham Hoffemannus, lib. 1. amor conjugal, cap. 2. p. 22. relates out of Plato, how that Empedocles, the philosopher, was present at the cutting up of one that died for love, [5359]his heart was combust, his liver smoky, his lungs dried up, insomuch that he verily believed his soul was either sodden or roasted through the vehemency of love's fire. Which belike made a modern writer of amorous emblems express love's fury by a pot hanging over the fire, and Cupid blowing the coals. As the heat consumes the water, [5360]Sic sua consumit viscera coecus amor, so doth love dry up his radical moisture. Another compares love to a melting torch, which stood too near the fire. [5361]Sic quo quis proprior suae puellae est, Hoc stultus proprior suae runinae est.

The nearer he unto his mistress is, The nearer he unto his ruin is.

So that to say truth, as [5362]Castilio describes it, The beginning, middle, end of love is nought else but sorrow, vexation, agony, torment, irksomeness, wearisomeness; so that to be squalid, ugly, miserable, solitary, discontent, dejected, to wish for death, to complain, rave, and to be peevish, are the certain signs and ordinary

## actions of a lovesick person. This continual pain and torture makes

them forget themselves, if they be far gone with it, in doubt, despair of obtaining, or eagerly bent, to neglect all ordinary business. [5363]———pendent opera interrupta, minaeque Murorum ingentes, aequataque machina coelo.

Lovesick Dido left her work undone, so did [5364]Phaedra, ———Palladis telae vacant Et inter ipsus pensa labuntur manus.

Faustus, in [5365]Mantuan, took no pleasure in anything he did, Nulla quies mihi dulcis erat, nullus labor aegro Pectore, sensus iners, et mens torpore sepulta, Carminis occiderat studium.———

And 'tis the humour of them all, to be careless of their persons and their estates, as the shepherd in [5366]Theocritus, et haec barba inculta est, squalidique capilli, their beards flag, and they have no more care of pranking themselves or of any business, they care not, as they say, which end goes forward. [5367]Oblitusque greges, et rura domestica totus [5368]Uritur, et noctes in luctum expendit amaras,

Forgetting flocks of sheep and country farms, The silly shepherd always mourns and burns.

Lovesick [5369]Chaerea, when he came from Pamphila's house, and had not so good welcome as he did expect, was all amort, Parmeno meets him, quid tristis es? Why art thou so sad man? unde es? whence comest, how doest? but he sadly replies, Ego hercle nescio neque unde eam, neque quorsum eam, ita prorsus oblitus sum mei, I have so forgotten myself, I neither know where I am, nor whence I come, nor whether I will, what I do. P. [5370]How so? Ch. I am in love. Prudens sciens. [5371]—vivus vidensque pereo, nec quid agam scio. [5372]He that erst had his thoughts free (as Philostratus Lemnius, in an epistle of his, describes this fiery passion), and spent his time like a hard student, in those delightsome philosophical precepts; he that with the sun and moon wandered all over the world, with stars themselves ranged about, and left no secret or small mystery in nature unsearched, since he was enamoured can do nothing now but think and meditate of love matters, day and night composeth himself how to please his mistress; all his study, endeavour, is to approve himself to his mistress, to win his mistress' favour, to compass his desire, to be counted her servant. When Peter Abelard, that great scholar of his age, Cui soli patuit scibile quicquid erat,[5373](whose faculties were equal to any difficulty in learning,) was now in love with Heloise, he had no mind to visit or frequent schools and scholars any more, Taediosum mihi valde fuit (as he [5374]confesseth) ad scholas procedere, vel in iis morari, all his mind was on his new mistress. Now to this end and purpose, if there be any hope of obtaining his suit, to prosecute his cause, he will spend himself, goods, fortunes for her, and though he lose and alienate all his friends, be threatened, be cast off, and disinherited; for as the poet saith, Amori quis legem det?[5375] though he be utterly undone by it, disgraced, go a begging, yet for her sweet sake, to enjoy her, he will willingly beg, hazard all he hath, goods, lands, shame, scandal, fame, and life itself. Non recedam neque quiescam, noctu et interdiu, profecto quam aut ipsam, aut mortem investigavero.

I'll never rest or cease my suit Till she or death do make me mute.

Parthenis in Aristaenetus [5376]was fully resolved to do as much. I may have better matches, I confess, but farewell shame, farewell honour, farewell honesty, farewell friends and fortunes, &c. O, Harpedona, keep my counsel, I will leave all for his sweet sake, I will have him, say no more, contra gentes, I am resolved, I will have him. Gobrias[5377], the captain, when, he had espied Rhodanthe, the fair captive maid, fell upon his knees before Mystilus, the general, with tears, vows, and all the rhetoric he could, by the scars he had formerly received, the good service he had done, or whatsoever else was dear unto him, besought his governor he might have the captive virgin to be his wife, virtutis suae spolium, as a reward of his worth and service; and, moreover, he would forgive him the money which was owing, and all reckonings besides due unto him, I ask no more, no part of booty, no portion, but Rhodanthe to be my wife. And when as he could not compass her by fair means, he fell to treachery, force and villainy, and set his life at stake at last to accomplish his desire. 'Tis a common humour this, a general passion of all lovers to be so affected, and which Aemilia told Aratine, a courtier in Castilio's discourse, surely Aratine, if thou werst not so indeed, thou didst not love; ingenuously confess, for if thou hadst been thoroughly enamoured, thou wouldst have desired nothing more than to please thy mistress. For that is the law of love, to will and nill the same.[5378]Tantum velle et nolle, velit nolit quod amica?[5379] Undoubtedly this may be pronounced of them all, they are very slaves, drudges for the time, madmen, fools, dizzards, atrabilarii[5380], beside themselves, and as blind as beetles. Their dotage [5381]is most eminent, Amore simul et sapere ipsi Jovi non datur, as Seneca holds, Jupiter himself cannot love and be wise both together; the very best of them, if once they be overtaken with this passion, the most staid, discreet, grave, generous and wise, otherwise able to govern themselves, in this commit many absurdities, many indecorums, unbefitting their gravity and persons. [5382]Quisquis amat servit, sequitur captivus amantem, Fert domita cervice jugum———

Samson, David, Solomon, Hercules, Socrates, &c. are justly taxed of indiscretion in this point; the middle sort are between hawk and buzzard; and although they do perceive and acknowledge their own dotage, weakness, fury, yet they cannot withstand it; as well may witness those expostulations and confessions of Dido in Virgil. [5383]Incipit effari mediaque in voce resistit.

Phaedra in Seneca. [5384]Quod ratio poscit, vincit ac regnat furor, Potensque tota mente dominatur deus.

Myrrha in [5385]. Ovid Illa quidem sentit, foedoque repugnat amori, Et secum quo mente feror, quid molior, inquit, Dii precor, et pietas, &c.

She sees and knows her fault, and doth resist, Against her filthy lust she doth contend.

And whither go I, what am I about? And God forbid, yet doth it in the end.

Again, ———Per vigil igne Carpitur indomito, furiosaque vota retrectat, Et modo desperat, modo vult tentare, pudetque Et cupit, et quid agat, non invenit, &c.

With raging lust she burns, and now recalls Her vow, and then despairs, and when 'tis past, Her former thoughts she'll prosecute in haste, And what to do she knows not at the last.

She will and will not, abhors: and yet as Medea did, doth it, ———Trahit invitam nova via, aliudque cupido, Mens aliud suadet; video meliora, proboque, Deteriora sequor.———

Reason pulls one way, burning lust another, She sees and knows what's good, but she doth neither,

O fraus, amorque, et mentis emotae furor, quo me abstulistis?[5386]

The major part of lovers are carried headlong like so many brute beasts, reason counsels one way, thy friends, fortunes, shame, disgrace, danger, and an ocean of cares that will certainly follow; yet this furious lust precipitates, counterpoiseth, weighs down on the other; though it be their utter undoing, perpetual infamy, loss, yet they will do it, and become at last insensati, void of sense; degenerate into dogs, hogs, asses, brutes; as Jupiter into a bull, Apuleius an ass, Lycaon a wolf, Tereus a lapwing,[5387]Calisto a bear, Elpenor and Grillus info swine by Circe. For what else may we think those ingenious poets to have shadowed in their witty fictions and poems but that a man once given over to his lust (as [5388]Fulgentius interprets that of Apuleius, Alciat of Tereus) is no better than a beast. Rex fueram, sic crista docet, sed sordida vita Immundam e tanto culmine fecit avem.[5389]

I was a king, my crown my witness is, But by my filthiness am come to this.

Their blindness is all out as great, as manifest as their weakness and dotage, or rather an inseparable companion, an ordinary sign of it, [5390] love is blind, as the saying is, Cupid's blind, and so are all his followers. Quisquis amat ranam, ranam putat esse Dianam. Every lover admires his mistress, though she be very deformed of herself, ill-favoured, wrinkled, pimpled, pale, red, yellow, tanned, tallow-faced, have a swollen juggler's platter face, or a thin, lean, chitty face, have clouds in her face, be crooked, dry, bald, goggle-eyed, blear-eyed, or with staring eyes, she looks like a squissed cat, hold her head still awry, heavy, dull, hollow-eyed, black or yellow about the eyes, or squint-eyed, sparrow-mouthed, Persian hook-nosed, have a sharp fox nose, a red nose, China flat, great nose, nare simo patuloque, a nose like a promontory, gubber-tushed, rotten teeth, black, uneven, brown teeth, beetle browed, a witch's beard, her breath stink all over the room, her nose drop winter and summer, with a Bavarian poke under her chin, a sharp chin, lave eared, with a long crane's neck, which stands awry too, pendulis mammis, her dugs like two double jugs, or else no dugs, in that other extreme, bloody fallen fingers, she have filthy, long unpared nails, scabbed hands or wrists, a tanned skin, a rotten carcass, crooked back, she stoops, is lame, splay-footed, as slender in the middle as a cow in the waist, gouty legs, her ankles hang over her shoes, her feet stink, she breed lice, a mere changeling, a very monster, an oaf imperfect, her whole complexion savours, a harsh voice, incondite gesture, vile gait, a vast virago, or an ugly tit, a slug, a fat fustilugs, a truss, a long lean rawbone, a skeleton, a sneaker (si qua latent meliora puta), and to thy judgment looks like a merd in a lantern, whom thou couldst not fancy for a world, but hatest, loathest, and wouldst have spit in her face, or blow thy nose in her bosom, remedium amoris to another man, a dowdy, a slut, a scold, a nasty, rank, rammy, filthy, beastly quean, dishonest peradventure, obscene, base, beggarly, rude, foolish, untaught, peevish, Irus' daughter, Thersites' sister, Grobians' scholar, if he love her once, he admires her for all this, he takes no notice of any such errors, or imperfections of body or mind, [5391]Ipsa haec—delectant, veluti Balbinum Polypus Agnae,; he had rather have her than any woman in the world. If he were a king, she alone should be his queen, his empress. O that he had but the wealth and treasure of both the Indies to endow her with, a carrack of diamonds, a chain of pearl, a cascanet of jewels, (a pair of calfskin gloves of four-pence a pair were fitter), or some such toy, to send her for a token, she should have it with all his heart; he would spend myriads of crowns for her sake. Venus herself, Panthea, Cleopatra, Tarquin's Tanaquil, Herod's Mariamne, or [5392]Mary of Burgundy, if she were alive, would not match her. ([5393]Vincit vultus haec Tyndarios, Qui moverunt horrida bellla.

Let Paris himself be judge) renowned Helen comes short, that Rodopheian Phillis, Larissean Coronis, Babylonian Thisbe, Polixena, Laura, Lesbia, &c., your counterfeit ladies were never so fair as she is. [5394]Quicquid erit placidi, lepidi, grati, atque faceti, Vivida cunctorum retines Pandora deorum.

Whate'er is pretty, pleasant, facete, well, Whate'er Pandora had, she doth excel.

[5395]Dicebam Trivioe formam nihil esse Dianoe. Diana was not to be compared to her, nor Juno, nor Minerva, nor any goddess. Thetis' feet were as bright as silver, the ankles of Hebe clearer than crystal, the arms of Aurora as ruddy as the rose, Juno's breasts as white as snow, Minerva wise, Venus fair; but what of this? Dainty come thou to me. She is all in all, [5396]———Caelia ridens Est Venus, incedens Juno, Minerva loquens.

[5397]Fairest of fair, that fairness doth excel.

Ephemerus in Aristaenetus, so far admireth his mistress' good parts, that he makes proclamation of them, and challengeth all comers in her behalf. [5398]Whoever saw the beauties of the east, or of the west, let them come from all quarters, all, and tell truth, if ever they saw such an excellent feature as this is. A good fellow in Petronius cries out, no tongue can [5399]tell his lady's fine feature, or express it, quicquid dixeris minus erit, &c. No tongue can her perfections tell, In whose each part, all tongues may dwell.

Most of your lovers are of his humour and opinion. She is nulli secunda, a rare creature, a phoenix, the sole commandress of his thoughts, queen of his desires, his only delight: as [5400]Triton now feelingly sings, that lovesick sea-god: Candida Leucothoe placet, et placet atra Melaene, Sed Galatea placet longe magis omnibus una.

Fair Leucothe, black Melene please me well, But Galatea doth by odds the rest excel.

All the gracious elogies, metaphors, hyperbolical comparisons of the best things in the world, the most glorious names; whatsoever, I say, is pleasant, amiable, sweet, grateful, and delicious, are too little for her. Phoebo pulchrior et sorore Phoebi.

His Phoebe is so fair, she is so bright, She dims the sun's lustre, and the moon's light.

Stars, sun, moons, metals, sweet-smelling flowers, odours, perfumes, colours, gold, silver, ivory, pearls, precious stones, snow, painted birds, doves, honey, sugar, spice, cannot express her, [5401]so soft, so tender, so radiant, sweet, so fair is she.—Mollior cuniculi capillo, &c. [5402]Lydia bella, puelia candida, Quae bene superas lac, et lilium, Albamque simul rosam et rubicundam, Et expolitum ebur Indicum.

Fine Lydia, my mistress, white and fair, The milk, the lily do not thee come near; The rose so white, the rose so red to see, And Indian ivory comes short of thee.

Such a description our English Homer makes of a fair lady [5403]That Emilia that was fairer to seen, Then is lily upon the stalk green: And fresher then May with flowers new, For with the rose colour strove her hue, I no't which was the fairer of the two.

In this very phrase [5404]Polyphemus courts Galatea: Candidior folio nivei Galatea ligustri, Floridior prato, longa procerior alno, Splendidior vitro, tenero lascivior haedo, &c. Mollior et cygni plumis, et lacte coacto.

Whiter Galet than the white withie-wind, Fresher than a field, higher than a tree, Brighter than glass, more wanton than a kid, Softer than swan's down, or ought that may be.

So she admires him again, in that conceited dialogue of Lucian, which John Secundus, an elegant Dutch modern poet, hath translated into verse. When Doris and those other sea nymphs upbraided her with her ugly misshapen lover, Polyphemus; she replies, they speak out of envy and malice, [5405]Et plane invidia huc mera vos stimulare videtur. Quod non vos itidem ut me Polyphemus amet;

Say what they could, he was a proper man. And as Heloise writ to her sweetheart Peter Abelard, Si me Augustus orbis imperator uxorem expeteret, mallem tua esse meretrix quam orbis imperatrix; she had rather be his vassal, his quean, than the world's empress or queen.—non si me Jupiter ipse forte velit,—she would not change her love for Jupiter himself. To thy thinking she is a most loathsome creature; and as when a country fellow discommended once that exquisite picture of Helen, made by Zeuxis, [5406]for he saw no such beauty in it; Nichomachus a lovesick spectator replied, Sume tibi meos oculos et deam existimabis, take mine eyes, and thou wilt think she is a goddess, dote on her forthwith, count all her vices virtues; her imperfections infirmities, absolute and perfect: if she be flat-nosed, she is lovely; if hook-nosed, kingly; if dwarfish and little, pretty; if tall, proper and man-like, our brave British Boadicea; if crooked, wise; if monstrous, comely; her defects are no defects at all, she hath no deformities. Immo nec ipsum amicae stercus foetet, though she be nasty, fulsome, as Sostratus' bitch, or Parmeno's sow; thou hadst as live have a snake in thy bosom, a toad in thy dish, and callest her witch, devil, hag, with all the filthy names thou canst invent; he admires her on the other side, she is his idol, lady, mistress, [5407]venerilla, queen, the quintessence of beauty, an angel, a star, a goddess. Thou art my Vesta, thou my goddess art, Thy hallowed temple only is my heart.

The fragrancy of a thousand courtesans is in her face: [5408]Nec pulchrae effigies, haec Cypridis aut Stratonices; 'tis not Venus' picture that, nor the Spanish infanta's, as you suppose (good sir), no princess, or king's daughter: no, no, but his divine mistress, forsooth, his dainty Dulcinia, his dear Antiphila, to whose service he is wholly consecrate, whom he alone adores. [5409]Cui comparatus indecens erit pavo, Inamabilis sciurus, et frequens Phoenix.

To whom conferr'd a peacock's indecent, A squirrel's harsh, a phoenix too frequent.

All the graces, veneries, elegancies, pleasures, attend her. He prefers her before a myriad of court ladies. [5410]He that commends Phillis or Neraea, Or Amaryllis, or Galatea, Tityrus or Melibea, by your leave, Let him be mute, his love the praises have.

Nay, before all the gods and goddesses themselves. So [5411]Quintus Catullus admired his squint-eyed friend Roscius. Pace mihi liceat (Coelestes) dicere vestra, Mortalis visus pulchrior esse Deo.

By your leave gentle Gods, this I'll say true, There's none of you that have so fair a hue.

All the bombast epithets, pathetical adjuncts, incomparably fair, curiously neat, divine, sweet, dainty, delicious, &c., pretty diminutives, corculum, suaviolum, &c. pleasant names may be invented, bird, mouse, lamb, puss, pigeon, pigsney, kid, honey, love, dove, chicken, &c. he puts on her. [5412]Meum mel, mea suavitas, meum cor, Meum suaviolum, mei lepores,

my life, my light, my jewel, my glory, [5413]Margareta speciosa, cujus respectu omnia mundi pretiosa sordent, my sweet Margaret, my sole delight and darling. And as [5414]Rhodomant courted Isabella: By all kind words and gestures that he might, He calls her his dear heart, his sole beloved, His joyful comfort, and his sweet delight. His mistress, and his goddess, and such names, As loving knights apply to lovely dames.

Every cloth she wears, every fashion pleaseth him above measure; her hand, O quales digitos, quos habet illa manus! pretty foot, pretty coronets, her sweet carriage, sweet voice, tone, O that pretty tone, her divine and lovely looks, her every thing, lovely, sweet, amiable, and pretty, pretty, pretty. Her very name (let it be what it will) is a most pretty, pleasing name; I believe now there is some secret power and virtue in names, every action, sight, habit, gesture; he admires, whether she play, sing, or dance, in what tires soever she goeth, how excellent it was, how well it became her, never the like seen or heard. [5415]Mille habet ornatus, mille decenter habet. Let her wear what she will, do what she will, say what she will, [5416]Quicquid enim dicit, seu facit, omne decet. He applauds and admires everything she wears, saith or doth,

[5417]Illam quicquid agit, quoquo vestigia vertit, Composuit furtim subsequiturque decor;

Seu solvit crines, fusis decet esse capillis, Seu compsit, comptis est reverenda comis.

Whate'er she doth, or whither e'er she go, A sweet and pleasing grace attends forsooth;

Or loose, or bind her hair, or comb it up, She's to be honoured in what she doth.

[5418]Vestem induitur, formosa est: exuitur, tota forma est, let her be dressed or undressed, all is one, she is excellent still, beautiful, fair, and lovely to behold. Women do as much by men; nay more, far fonder, weaker, and that by many parasangs. Come to me my dear Lycias, (saith Musaeus in [5419]Aristaenetus) come quickly sweetheart, all other men are satyrs, mere clowns, blockheads to thee, nobody to thee. Thy looks, words, gestures, actions, &c., are incomparably beyond all others. Venus was never so much besotted on her Adonis, Phaedra so delighted in Hippolitus, Ariadne in Theseus, Thisbe in her Pyramus, as she is enamoured on her Mopsus. Be thou the marigold, and I will be the sun, Be thou the friar, and I will be the nun.

I could repeat centuries of such. Now tell me what greater dotage or blindness can there be than this in both sexes? and yet their slavery is more eminent, a greater sign of their folly than the rest. They are commonly slaves, captives, voluntary servants, Amator amicae mancipium, as [5420]Castilio terms him, his mistress' servant, her drudge, prisoner, bondman, what not? He composeth himself wholly to her affections to please her, and, as Aemelia said, makes himself her lackey. All his cares, actions, all his thoughts, are subordinate to her will and commandment: her most devote, obsequious, affectionate servant and vassal. For love (as [5421]Cyrus in Xenophon well observed) is a mere tyranny, worse than any disease, and they that are troubled with it desire to be free and cannot, but are harder bound than if they were in iron chains. What greater captivity or slavery can there be (as [5422]Tully expostulates) than to be in love? Is he a free man over whom a woman domineers, to whom she prescribes laws, commands, forbids what she will herself; that dares deny nothing she demands; she asks, he gives; she calls, he comes; she threatens, he fears; Nequissimum hunc servum puto, I account this man a very drudge. And as he follows it, [5423]Is this no small servitude for an enamourite to be every hour combing his head, stiffening his beard, perfuming his hair, washing his face with sweet water, painting, curling, and not to come abroad but sprucely crowned, decked, and apparelled? Yet these are but toys in respect, to go to the barber, baths, theatres, &c., he must attend upon her wherever she goes, run along the streets by her doors and windows to see her, take all opportunities, sleeveless errands, disguise, counterfeit shapes, and as many forms as Jupiter himself ever took; and come every day to her house (as he will surely do if he be truly enamoured) and offer her service, and follow her up and down from room to room, as Lucretia's suitors did, he cannot contain himself but he will do it, he must and will be where she is, sit next her, still talking with her. [5424]If I did but let my glove fall by chance, (as the said Aretine's Lucretia brags,) I had one of my suitors, nay two or three at once ready to stoop and take it up, and kiss it, and with a low conge deliver it unto me; if I would walk, another was ready to sustain me by the arm. A third to provide fruits, pears, plums, cherries, or whatsoever I would eat or drink. All this and much more he doth in her presence, and when he comes home, as Troilus to his Cressida, 'tis all his meditation to recount with himself his actions, words, gestures, what entertainment he had, how kindly she used him in such a place, how she smiled, how she graced him, and that infinitely pleased him; and then he breaks out, O sweet Areusa, O my dearest Antiphila, O most divine looks, O lovely graces, and thereupon instantly he makes an epigram, or a sonnet to five or seven tunes, in her commendation, or else he ruminates how she rejected his service, denied him a kiss, disgraced him, &c., and that as effectually torments him. And these are his exercises between comb and glass, madrigals, elegies, &c., these his cogitations till he see her again. But all this is easy and gentle, and the least part of his labour and bondage, no hunter will take such pains for his game, fowler for his sport, or soldier to sack a city, as he will for his mistress' favour. [5425]Ipsa comes veniam, neque me salebrosa movebunt Saxa, nec obliquo dente timendus aper.

As Phaedra to Hippolitus. No danger shall affright, for if that be true the poets feign, Love is the son of Mars and Venus; as he hath delights, pleasures, elegances from his mother, so hath he hardness, valour, and boldness from his father. And 'tis true that Bernard hath; Amore nihil mollius, nihil volentius, nothing so boisterous, nothing so tender as love. If once, therefore, enamoured, he will go, run, ride many a mile to meet her, day and night, in a very dark night, endure scorching heat, cold, wait in frost and snow, rain, tempest, till his teeth chatter in his head, those northern winds and showers cannot cool or quench his flame of love. Intempesta nocte non deterretur, he will, take my word, sustain hunger, thirst, Penetrabit omnia, perrumpet omnia, love will find out a way, through thick and thin he will to her, Expeditissimi montes videntur omnes tranabiles, he will swim through an ocean, ride post over the Alps, Apennines, or Pyrenean hills, [5426]Ignem marisque fluctus, atque turbines Venti paratus est transire,———

though it rain daggers with their points downward, light or dark, all is one: (Roscida per tenebras Faunus ad antra venit), for her sweet sake he will undertake Hercules's twelve labours, endure, hazard, &c., he feels it not. [5427]What shall I say, saith Haedus, of their great dangers they undergo, single combats they undertake, how they will venture their lives, creep in at windows, gutters, climb over walls to come to their sweethearts, (anointing the doors and hinges with oil, because they should not creak, tread soft, swim, wade, watch, &c.), and if they be surprised, leap out at windows, cast themselves headlong down, bruising or breaking their legs or arms, and sometimes loosing life itself, as Calisto did for his lovely Melibaea. Hear some of their own confessions, protestations, complaints, proffers, expostulations, wishes, brutish attempts, labours in this kind. Hercules served Omphale, put on an apron, took a distaff and spun; Thraso the soldier was so submissive to Thais, that he was resolved to do whatever she enjoined. [5428]Ego me Thaidi dedam; et faciam quod jubet, I am at her service. Philostratus in an epistle to his mistress, [5429]I am ready to die sweetheart if it be thy will; allay his thirst whom thy star hath scorched and undone, the fountains and rivers deny no man drink that comes; the fountain doth not say thou shalt not drink, nor the apple thou shalt not eat, nor the fair meadow walk not in me, but thou alone wilt not let me come near thee, or see thee, contemned and despised I die for grief. Polienus, when his mistress Circe did but frown upon him in Petronius, drew his sword, and bade her [5430]kill, stab, or whip him to death, he would strip himself naked, and not resist. Another will take a journey to Japan, Longae navigationis molestis non curans: a third (if she say it) will not speak a word for a twelvemonth's space, her command shall be most inviolably kept: a fourth will take Hercules's club from him, and with that centurion in the Spanish [5431]Caelestina, will kill ten men for his mistress Areusa, for a word of her mouth he will cut bucklers in two like pippins, and flap down men like flies, Elige quo mortis genere illum occidi cupis? [5432]Galeatus of Mantua did a little more: for when he was almost mad for love of a fair maid in the city, she, to try him belike what he would do for her sake, bade him in jest leap into the river Po if he loved her; he forthwith did leap headlong off the bridge and was drowned. Another at Ficinum in like passion, when his mistress by chance (thinking no harm I dare swear) bade him go hang, the next night at her doors hanged himself. [5433]Money (saith Xenophon) is a very acceptable and welcome guest, yet I had rather give it my dear Clinia than take it of others, I had rather serve him than command others, I had rather be his drudge than take my ease, undergo any danger for his sake than live in security. For I had rather see Clinia than all the world besides, and had rather want the sight of all other things than him alone; I am angry with the night and sleep that I may not see him, and thank the light and sun because they show me my Clinia; I will run into the fire for his sake, and if you did but see him, I know that you likewise would run with me. So Philostratus to his mistress, [5434]Command me what you will, I will do it; bid me go to sea, I am gone in an instant, take so many stripes, I am ready, run through the fire, and lay down my life and soul at thy feet, 'tis done. So did. Aeolus to Juno. ———Tuus o regina quod optas Explorare labor, mihi jussa capescere fas est.

O queen it is thy pains to enjoin me still, And I am bound to execute thy will.

And Phaedra to Hippolitus, Me vel sororem Hippolite aut famulam voca, Famulamque potius, omne servitium feram.

O call me sister, call me servant, choose, Or rather servant, I am thine to use.

[5435]Non me per altas ire si jubeas nives, Pigeat galatis ingredi Pindi jugis, Non si per ignes ire aut infesta agmina Cuncter, paratus [5436]ensibus pectus dare, Te tunc jubere, me decet jussa exequi.

It shall not grieve me to the snowy hills, Or frozen Pindus' tops forthwith to climb. Or run through fire, or through an army, Say but the word, for I am always thine.

Callicratides in [5437]Lucian breaks out into this passionate speech, O God of Heaven, grant me this life for ever to sit over against my mistress, and to hear her sweet voice, to go in and out with her, to have every other business common with her; I would labour when she labours; sail when she sails; he that hates her should hate me; and if a tyrant kill her, he should kill me; if she should die, I would not live, and one grave should hold us both. [5438]Finiet illa meos moriens morientis amores. Abrocomus in [5439]Aristaenetus makes the like petition for his Delphia, —[5440]Tecum vivere amem, tecum obeam lubens. I desire to live with thee, and I am ready to die with thee. 'Tis the same strain which Theagines used to his Chariclea, so that I may but enjoy thy love, let me die presently: Leander to his Hero, when he besought the sea waves to let him go quietly to his love, and kill him coming back. [5441]Parcite dum propero, mergite dum redeo. Spare me whilst I go, drown me as I return. 'Tis the common humour of them all, to contemn death, to wish for death, to confront death in this case, Quippe queis nec fera, nec ignis, neque praecipitium, nec fretum, nec ensis, neque laqueus gravia videntur; 'Tis their desire (saith Tyrius) to die. Haud timet mortem, cupit ire in ipsos ———obvius enses.

He does not fear death, he desireth such upon the very swords. Though a thousand dragons or devils keep the gates, Cerberus himself, Scyron and Procrastes lay in wait, and the way as dangerous, as inaccessible as hell, through fiery flames and over burning coulters, he will adventure for all this. And as [5442]Peter Abelard lost his testicles for his Heloise, he will I say not venture an incision, but life itself. For how many gallants offered to lose their lives for a night's lodging with Cleopatra in those days! and in the hour or moment of death, 'tis their sole comfort to remember their dear mistress, as [5443]Zerbino slain in France, and Brandimart in Barbary; as Arcite did his Emily. [5444]———when he felt death, Dusked been his eyes, and faded is his breath But on his lady yet casteth he his eye, His last word was, mercy Emely, His spirit chang'd, and out went there, Whether I cannot tell, ne where.

[5445]When Captain Gobrius by an unlucky accident had received his death's wound, heu me miserum exclamat, miserable man that I am, (instead of other devotions) he cries out, shall I die before I see my sweetheart Rhodanthe? Sic amor mortem, (saith mine author) aut quicquid humanitus accidit, aspernatur, so love triumphs, contemns, insults over death itself. Thirteen proper young men lost their lives for that fair Hippodamias' sake, the daughter of Onomaus, king of Elis: when that hard condition was proposed of death or victory, they made no account of it, but courageously for love died, till Pelops at last won her by a sleight. [5446]As many gallants desperately adventured their dearest blood for Atalanta, the daughter of Schenius, in hope of marriage, all vanquished and overcame, till Hippomenes by a few golden apples happily obtained his suit. Perseus, of old, fought with a sea monster for Andromeda's sake; and our St. George freed the king's daughter of Sabea (the golden legend is mine author) that was exposed to a dragon, by a terrible combat. Our knights errant, and the Sir Lancelots of these days, I hope will adventure as much for ladies' favours, as the Squire of Dames, Knight of the Sun, Sir Bevis of Southampton, or that renowned peer, [5447]Orlando, who long time had loved dear Angelica the fair, and for her sake About the world in nations far and near, Did high attempts perform and undertake;

he is a very dastard, a coward, a block and a beast, that will not do as much, but they will sure, they will; for it is an ordinary thing for these inamoratos of our time to say and do more, to stab their arms, carouse in blood, [5448]or as that Thessalian Thero, that bit off his own thumb, provocans rivalem ad hoc aemulandum, to make his co-rival do as much. 'Tis frequent with them to challenge the field for their lady and mistress' sake, to run a tilt, [5449]That either bears (so furiously they meet) The other down under the horses' feet,

and then up and to it again, And with their axes both so sorely pour, That neither plate nor mail sustain'd the stour, But riveld wreak like rotten wood asunder, And fire did flash like lightning after thunder;

and in her quarrel, to fight so long [5450]till their headpiece, bucklers be all broken, and swords hacked like so many saws, for they must not see her abused in any sort, 'tis blasphemy to speak against her, a dishonour without all good respect to name her. 'Tis common with these creatures, to drink [5451]healths upon their bare knees, though it were a mile to the bottom, no matter of what mixture, off it comes. If she bid them they will go barefoot to Jerusalem, to the great Cham's court, [5452] to the East Indies, to fetch her a bird to wear in her hat: and with Drake and Candish sail round about the world for her sweet sake, adversis ventis, serve twice seven years, as Jacob did for Rachel; do as much as [5453]Gesmunda, the daughter of Tancredus, prince of Salerna, did for Guisardus, her true love, eat his heart when he died; or as Artemisia drank her husband's bones beaten to powder, and so bury him in herself, and endure more torments than Theseus or Paris. Et his colitur Venus magis quam thure, et victimis, with such sacrifices as these (as [5454] Aristaenetus holds) Venus is well pleased. Generally they undertake any pain, any labour, any toil, for their mistress' sake, love and admire a servant, not to her alone, but to all her friends and followers, they hug and embrace them for her sake; her dog, picture, and everything she wears, they adore it as a relic. If any man come from her, they feast him, reward him, will not be out of his company, do him all offices, still remembering, still talking of her: [5455]Nam si abest quod ames, praesto simulacra tamen sunt Illius, et nomen dulce observatur ad aures.

The very carrier that comes from him to her is a most welcome guest; and if he bring a letter, she will read it twenty times over, and as [5456] Lucretia did by Euryalus, kiss the letter a thousand times together, and then read it: And [5457]Chelidonia by Philonius, after many sweet kisses, put the letter in her bosom, And kiss again, and often look thereon, And stay the messenger that would be gone:

And asked many pretty questions, over and over again, as how he looked, what he did, and what he said? In a word, [5458]Vult placere sese amicae, vult mihi, vult pedissequae, Vult famulis, vult etiam ancillis, et catulo meo.

He strives to please his mistress, and her maid, Her servants, and her dog, and's well apaid.

If he get any remnant of hers, a busk-point, a feather of her fan, a shoe-tie, a lace, a ring, a bracelet of hair, [5459]Pignusque direptum lacertis; Aut digito male pertinaci,

he wears it for a favour on his arm, in his hat, finger, or next his heart. Her picture he adores twice a day, and for two hours together will not look off it; as Laodamia did by Protesilaus, when he went to war, [5460]'sit at home with his picture before her;' a garter or a bracelet of hers is more precious than any saint's relic, he lays it up in his casket, (O blessed relic) and every day will kiss it: if in her presence, his eye is never off her, and drink he will where she drank, if it be possible, in that very place, &c. If absent, he will walk in the walk, sit under that tree where she did use to sit, in that bower, in that very seat,—et foribus miser oscula figit, [5461]many years after sometimes, though she be far distant and dwell many miles off, he loves yet to walk that way still, to have his chamber-window look that way: to walk by that river's side, which (though far away) runs by the house where she dwells, he loves the wind blows to that coast. [5462]O quoties dixi Zephyris properantibus illuc, Felices pulchram visuri Amaryllada venti.

O happy western winds that blow that way, For you shall see my love's fair face to day.

He will send a message to her by the wind. [5463]Vos aurae Alpinae, placidis de montibus aurae, Haec illi portate,———

[5464]he desires to confer with some of her acquaintance, for his heart is still with her, [5465]to talk of her, admiring and commending her, lamenting, moaning, wishing himself anything for her sake, to have opportunity to see her, O that he might but enjoy her presence! So did Philostratus to his mistress, [5466]O happy ground on which she treads, and happy were I if she would tread upon me. I think her countenance would make the rivers stand, and when she comes abroad, birds will sing and come about her. Ridebunt valles, ridebunt obvia Tempe, In florem viridis protinus ibi humus.

The fields will laugh, the pleasant valleys burn, And all the grass will into flowers turn.

Omnis Ambrosiam spirabit aura. [5467]When she is in the meadow, she is fairer than any flower, for that lasts but for a day, the river is pleasing, but it vanisheth on a sudden, but thy flower doth not fade, thy stream is greater than the sea. If I look upon the heaven, methinks I see the sun fallen down to shine below, and thee to shine in his place, whom I desire. If I look upon the night, methinks I see two more glorious stars, Hesperus and thyself. A little after he thus courts his mistress, [5468] If thou goest forth of the city, the protecting gods that keep the town will run after to gaze upon thee: if thou sail upon the seas, as so many small boats, they will follow thee: what river would not run into the sea? Another, he sighs and sobs, swears he hath Cor scissum, a heart bruised to powder, dissolved and melted within him, or quite gone from him, to his mistress' bosom belike, he is in an oven, a salamander in the fire, so scorched with love's heat; he wisheth himself a saddle for her to sit on, a posy for her to smell to, and it would not grieve him to be hanged, if he might be strangled in her garters: he would willingly die tomorrow, so that she might kill him with her own hands. [5469]Ovid would be a flea, a gnat, a ring, Catullus a sparrow, [5470]O si tecum ludere sicut ipsa possem, Et tristes animi levare curas.

[5471]Anacreon, a glass, a gown, a chain, anything, Sed speculum ego ipse fiam, Ut me tuum usque cernas, Et vestis ipse fiam, Ut me tuum usque gestes. Mutari et opto in undam, Lavem tuos ut artus, Nardus puella fiam, Ut ego teipsum inungam, Sim fascia in papillis, Tuo et monile collo. Fiamque calceus, me Saltem ut pede usque calces.

[5472]But I a looking-glass would be, Still to be look'd upon by thee, Or I, my love, would be thy gown, By thee to be worn up and down; Or a pure well full to the brims, That I might wash thy purer limbs: Or, I'd be precious balm to 'noint, With choicest care each choicest joint; Or, if I might, I would be fain About thy neck thy happy chain, Or would it were my blessed hap To be the lawn o'er thy fair pap. Or would I were thy shoe, to be Daily trod upon by thee.

O thrice happy man that shall enjoy her: as they that saw Hero in Museus, and [5473]Salmacis to Hermaphroditus, [5474]———Felices mater, &c. felix nutrix.— Sed longe cunctis, longeque beatior ille, Quem fructu sponsi et socii dignabere lecti.

The same passion made her break out in the comedy, [5475]Nae illae fortunatae, sunt quae cum illo cubant, happy are his bedfellows; and as she said of Cyprus, [5476]Beata quae illi uxor futura esset, blessed is that woman that shall be his wife, nay, thrice happy she that shall enjoy him but a night. [5477]Una nox Jovis sceptro aequiparanda, such a night's lodging is worth Jupiter's sceptre. [5478]Qualis nox erit illa, dii, deaeque, Quam mollis thorus?

O what a blissful night would it be, how soft, how sweet a bed! She will adventure all her estate for such a night, for a nectarean, a balsam kiss alone. [5479]Qui te videt beatus est, Beatior qui te audiet, Qui te potitur est Deus.

The sultan of Sana's wife in Arabia, when she had seen Vertomannus, that comely traveller, lamented to herself in this manner, [5480]O God, thou hast made this man whiter than the sun, but me, mine husband, and all my children black; I would to God he were my husband, or that I had such a son; she fell a weeping, and so impatient for love at last, that (as Potiphar's wife did by Joseph) she would have had him gone in with her, she sent away Gazella, Tegeia, Galzerana, her waiting-maids, loaded him with fair promises and gifts, and wooed him with all the rhetoric she could,— extremum hoc miserae da munus amanti, grant this last request to a wretched lover. But when he gave not consent, she would have gone with him, and left all, to be his page, his servant, or his lackey, Certa sequi charum corpus ut umbra solet, so that she might enjoy him, threatening moreover to kill herself, &c. Men will do as much and more for women, spend goods, lands, lives, fortunes; kings will leave their crowns, as King John for Matilda the nun at Dunmow. [5481]But kings in this yet privileg'd may be, I'll be a monk so I may live with thee.

The very Gods will endure any shame (atque aliquis de diis non tristibus inquit, &c.) be a spectacle as Mars and Venus were, to all the rest; so did Lucian's Mercury wish, and peradventure so dost thou. They will adventure their lives with alacrity —[5482]pro qua non metuam mori—nay more, pro qua non metuam bis mori, I will die twice, nay, twenty times for her. If she die, there's no remedy, they must die with her, they cannot help it. A lover in Calcagninus, wrote this on his darling's tomb, Quincia obiit, sed non Quincia sola obiit, Quincia obiit, sed cum Quincia et ipse obii; Risus obit, obit gratia, lusus obit. Nec mea nunc anima in pectore, at in tumulo est.

Quincia my dear is dead, but not alone, For I am dead, and with her I am gone: Sweet smiles, mirth, graces, all with her do rest, And my soul too, for 'tis not in my breast.

How many doting lovers upon the like occasion might say the same? But these are toys in respect, they will hazard their very souls for their mistress' sake. Atque aliquis interjuvenes miratus est, et verbum dixit, Non ego in caelo cuperem Deus esse, Nostram uxorem habens domi Hero.

One said, to heaven would I not desire at all to go,

If that at mine own house I had such a fine wife as Hero.

Venus forsook heaven for Adonis' sake,—[5483]caelo praefertur Adonis. Old Janivere, in Chaucer, thought when he had his fair May he should never go to heaven, he should live so merrily here on earth; had I such a mistress, he protests, [5484]Caelum diis ego non suum inviderem, Sed sortem mihi dii meam inviderent.

I would not envy their prosperity, The gods should envy my felicity.

Another as earnestly desires to behold his sweetheart he will adventure and leave all this, and more than this to see her alone. [5485]Omnia quae patior mala si pensare velit fors, Una aliqua nobis prosperitate, dii Hoc precor, ut faciant, faciant me cernere coram, Cor mihi captivum quae tenet hocce, deam.

If all my mischiefs were recompensed And God would give we what I requested, I would my mistress' presence only seek, Which doth mine heart in prison captive keep.

But who can reckon upon the dotage, madness, servitude and blindness, the foolish phantasms and vanities of lovers, their torments, wishes, idle attempts? Yet for all this, amongst so many irksome, absurd, troublesome symptoms, inconveniences, fantastical fits and passions which are usually incident to such persons, there be some good and graceful qualities in lovers, which this affection causeth. As it makes wise men fools, so many times it makes fools become wise; [5486]it makes base fellows become generous, cowards courageous, as Cardan notes out of Plutarch; covetous, liberal and magnificent; clowns, civil; cruel, gentle; wicked, profane persons, to become religious; slovens, neat; churls, merciful; and dumb dogs, eloquent; your lazy drones, quick and nimble. Feras mentes domat cupido, that fierce, cruel and rude Cyclops Polyphemus sighed, and shed many a salt tear for Galatea's sake. No passion causeth greater alterations, or more vehement of joy or discontent. Plutarch. Sympos. lib. 5. quaest. 1, [5487] saith, that the soul of a man in love is full of perfumes and sweet odours, and all manner of pleasing tones and tunes, insomuch that it is hard to say (as he adds) whether love do mortal men more harm than good. It adds spirits and makes them, otherwise soft and silly, generous and courageous, [5488]Audacem faciebat amor. Ariadne's love made Theseus so adventurous, and Medea's beauty Jason so victorious; expectorat amor timorem. [5489]Plato is of opinion that the love of Venus made Mars so valorous. A young man will be much abashed to commit any foul offence that shall come to the hearing or sight of his mistress. As [5490]he that desired of his enemy now dying, to lay him with his face upward, ne amasius videret eum a tergo vulneratum, lest his sweetheart should say he was a coward. And if it were [5491]possible to have an army consist of lovers, such as love, or are beloved, they would be extraordinary valiant and wise in their government, modesty would detain them from doing amiss, emulation incite them to do that which is good and honest, and a few of them would overcome a great company of others. There is no man so pusillanimous, so very a dastard, whom love would not incense, make of a divine temper, and an heroical spirit. As he said in like case, [5492] Tota ruat caeli moles, non terreor, &c. Nothing can terrify, nothing can dismay them. But as Sir Blandimor and Paridel, those two brave fairy knights, fought for the love of fair Florimel in presence— [5493]And drawing both their swords with rage anew, Like two mad mastives each other slew, And shields did share, and males did rash, and helms did hew; So furiously each other did assail, As if their souls at once they would have rent, Out of their breasts, that streams of blood did trail Adown as if their springs of life were spent, That all the ground with purple blood was sprent, And all their armour stain'd with bloody gore, Yet scarcely once to breath would they relent. So mortal was their malice and so sore, That both resolved (than yield) to die before.

Every base swain in love will dare to do as much for his dear mistress' sake. He will fight and fetch, [5494]Argivum Clypeum, that famous buckler of Argos, to do her service, adventure at all, undertake any enterprise. And as Serranus the Spaniard, then Governor of Sluys, made answer to Marquess Spinola, if the enemy brought 50,000 devils against him he would keep it. The nine worthies, Oliver and Rowland, and forty dozen of peers are all in him, he is all mettle, armour of proof, more than a man, and in this case improved beyond himself. For as [5495]Agatho contends, a true lover is wise, just, temperate, and valiant. [5496]I doubt not, therefore, but if a man had such an army of lovers (as Castilio supposeth) he might soon conquer all the world, except by chance he met with such another army of inamoratos to oppose it. [5497]For so perhaps they might fight as that fatal dog and fatal hare in the heavens, course one another round, and never make an end. Castilio thinks Ferdinand King of Spain would never have conquered Granada, had not Queen Isabel and her ladies been present at the siege: [5498]It cannot be expressed what courage the Spanish knights took, when the ladies were present, a few Spaniards overcame a multitude of Moors. They will undergo any danger whatsoever, as Sir Walter Manny in Edward the Third's time, stuck full of ladies' favours, fought like a dragon. For soli amantes, as [5499]Plato holds, pro amicis mori appetunt, only lovers will die for their friends, and in their mistress' quarrel. And for that cause he would have women follow the camp, to be spectators and encouragers of noble actions: upon such an occasion, the [5500]Squire of Dames himself, Sir Lancelot or Sir Tristram, Caesar, or Alexander, shall not be more resolute or go beyond them. Not courage only doth love add, but as I said, subtlety, wit, and many pretty devices, [5501]Namque dolos inspirat amor, fraudesque ministrat, [5502]Jupiter in love with Leda, and not knowing how to compass his desire, turned himself into a swan, and got Venus to pursue him in the likeness of an eagle; which she doing, for shelter, he fled to Leda's lap, et in ejus gremio se collocavit, Leda embraced him, and so fell fast asleep, sed dormientem Jupiter compressit, by which means Jupiter had his will. Infinite such tricks love can devise, such fine feats in abundance, with wisdom and wariness, [5503]quis fallere possit amantem. All manner of civility, decency, compliment and good behaviour, plus solis et leporis, polite graces and merry conceits. Boccaccio hath a pleasant tale to this purpose, which he borrowed from the Greeks, and which Beroaldus hath turned into Latin, Bebelius in verse, of Cymon and Iphigenia. This Cymon was a fool, a proper man of person, and the governor of Cyprus' son. but a very ass, insomuch that his father being ashamed of him, sent him to a farmhouse he had in the country, to be brought up. Where by chance, as his manner was, walking alone, he espied a gallant young gentlewoman, named Iphigenia, a burgomaster's daughter of Cyprus, with her maid, by a brook side in a little thicket, fast asleep in her smock, where she had newly bathed herself: When [5504]Cymon saw her, he stood leaning on his staff, gaping on her immovable, and in amaze; at last he fell so far in love with the glorious object, that he began to rouse himself up, to bethink what he was, would needs follow her to the city, and for her sake began to be civil, to learn to sing and dance, to play on instruments, and got all those gentlemanlike qualities and compliments in a short space, which his friends were most glad of. In brief, he became, from an idiot and a clown, to be one of the most complete gentlemen in Cyprus, did many valorous exploits, and all for the love of mistress Iphigenia. In a word, I may say thus much of them all, let them be never so clownish, rude and horrid, Grobians and sluts, if once they be in love they will be most neat and spruce; for, [5505]Omnibus rebus, et nitidis nitoribus antevenit amor, they will follow the fashion, begin to trick up, and to have a good opinion of themselves, venustatem enim mater Venus; a ship is not so long a rigging as a young gentlewoman a trimming up herself against her sweetheart comes. A painter's shop, a flowery meadow, no so gracious aspect in nature's storehouse as a young maid, nubilis puella, a Novitsa or Venetian bride, that looks for a husband, or a young man that is her suitor; composed looks, composed gait, clothes, gestures,

## actions, all composed; all the graces, elegances in the world are in

her face. Their best robes, ribands, chains, jewels, lawns, linens, laces, spangles, must come on, [5506]praeter quam res patitur student elegantiae, they are beyond all measure coy, nice, and too curious on a sudden; 'tis all their study, all their business, how to wear their clothes neat, to be polite and terse, and to set out themselves. No sooner doth a young man see his sweetheart coming, but he smugs up himself, pulls up his cloak now fallen about his shoulders, ties his garters, points, sets his band, cuffs, slicks his hair, twires his beard, &c. When Mercury was to come before his mistress, [5507]———Chlamydemque ut pendeat apte Collocat, ut limbus totumque appareat aurum.

He put his cloak in order, that the lace. And hem, and gold-work, all might have his grace.

Salmacis would not be seen of Hermaphroditus, till she had spruced up herself first, [5508]Nec tamen ante adiit, etsi properabat adire, Quam se composuit, quam circumspexit amictus, Et finxit vultum, et meruit formosa videri.

Nor did she come, although 'twas her desire, Till she compos'd herself, and trimm'd her tire, And set her looks to make him to admire.

Venus had so ordered the matter, that when her son [5509]Aeneas was to appear before Queen Dido, he was (Os humerosque deo similis (namque ipsa decoram Caesariem nato genetrix, lumenque juventae Purpureum et laetos oculis afflarat honores.)

like a god, for she was the tire-woman herself, to set him out with all natural and artificial impostures. As mother Mammea did her son Heliogabalus, new chosen emperor, when he was to be seen of the people first. When the hirsute cyclopical Polyphemus courted Galatea; [5510]Jamque tibi formae, jamque est tibi cura placendi, Jam rigidos pectis rastris Polypheme capillos, Jam libet hirsutam tibi falce recidere barbam, Et spectare feros in aqua et componere vultus.

And then he did begin to prank himself, To plait and comb his head, and beard to shave, And look his face i' th' water as a glass, And to compose himself for to be brave.

He was upon a sudden now spruce and keen, as a new ground hatchet. He now began to have a good opinion of his own features and good parts, now to be a gallant. Jam Galatea veni, nec munera despice nostra, Certe ego me novi, liquidaque in imagine vidi Nuper aquae, placuitque mihi mea forma videnti.

Come now, my Galatea, scorn me not, Nor my poor presents; for but yesterday I saw myself i' th' water, and methought Full fair I was, then scorn me not I say.

[5511]Non sum adeo informis, nuper me in littore vidi, Cum placidum ventis staret mare———

'Tis the common humour of all suitors to trick up themselves, to be prodigal in apparel, pure lotus, neat, combed, and curled, with powdered hair, comptus et calimistratus, with a long love-lock, a flower in his ear, perfumed gloves, rings, scarves, feathers, points, &c. as if he were a prince's Ganymede, with everyday new suits, as the fashion varies; going as if he trod upon eggs, as Heinsius writ to Primierus, [5512]if once he be besotten on a wench, he must like awake at nights, renounce his book, sigh and lament, now and then weep for his hard hap, and mark above all things what hats, bands, doublets, breeches, are in fashion, how to cut his beard, and wear his locks, to turn up his mustachios, and curl his head, prune his pickedevant, or if he wear it abroad, that the east side be correspondent to the west; he may be scoffed at otherwise, as Julian that apostate emperor was for wearing a long hirsute goatish beard, fit to make ropes with, as in his Mysopogone, or that apologetical oration he made at Antioch to excuse himself, he doth ironically confess, it hindered his kissing, nam non licuit inde pura puris, eoque suavioribus labra labris adjungere, but he did not much esteem it, as it seems by the sequel, de accipiendis dandisve osculis non laboro, yet (to follow mine author) it may much concern a young lover, he must be more respectful in this behalf, he must be in league with an excellent tailor, barber, [5513]Tonsorem pucrum sed arte talem, Qualis nec Thalamis fuit Neronis;

have neat shoe-ties, points, garters, speak in print, walk in print, eat and drink in print, and that which is all in all, he must be mad in print. Amongst other good qualities an amorous fellow is endowed with, he must learn to sing and dance, play upon some instrument or other, as without all doubt he will, if he be truly touched with this loadstone of love. For as [5514]Erasmus hath it, Musicam docet amor et Poesia, love will make them musicians, and to compose ditties, madrigals, elegies, love sonnets, and sing them to several pretty tunes, to get all good qualities may be had. [5515]Jupiter perceived Mercury to be in love with Philologia, because he learned languages, polite speech, (for Suadela herself was Venus' daughter, as some write) arts and sciences, quo virgini placeret, all to ingratiate himself, and please his mistress. 'Tis their chiefest study to sing, dance; and without question, so many gentlemen and gentlewomen would not be so well qualified in this kind, if love did not incite them. [5516]Who, saith Castilio, would learn to play, or give his mind to music, learn to dance, or make so many rhymes, love-songs, as most do, but for women's sake, because they hope by that means to purchase their good wills, and win their favour? We see this daily verified in our young women and wives, they that being maids took so much pains to sing, play, and dance, with such cost and charge to their parents, to get those graceful qualities, now being married will scarce touch an instrument, they care not for it. Constantine agricult. lib. 11. cap. 18, makes Cupid himself to be a great dancer; by the same token as he was capering amongst the gods, [5517]he flung down a bowl of nectar, which distilling upon the white rose, ever since made it red: and Calistratus, by the help of Dedalus, about Cupid's statue [5518]made a many of young wenches still a dancing, to signify belike that Cupid was much affected with it, as without all doubt he was. For at his and Psyche's wedding, the gods being present to grace the feast, Ganymede filled nectar in abundance (as [5519]Apuleius describes it), Vulcan was the cook, the Hours made all fine with roses and flowers, Apollo played on the harp, the Muses sang to it, sed suavi Musicae super ingressa Venus saltavit, but his mother Venus danced to his and their sweet content. Witty [5520]Lucian in that pathetical love passage, or pleasant description of Jupiter's stealing of Europa, and swimming from Phoenicia to Crete, makes the sea calm, the winds hush, Neptune and Amphitrite riding in their chariot to break the waves before them, the tritons dancing round about, with every one a torch, the sea-nymphs half naked, keeping time on dolphins' backs, and singing Hymeneus, Cupid nimbly tripping on the top of the waters, and Venus herself coming after in a shell, strewing roses and flowers on their heads. Praxiteles, in all his pictures of love, feigns Cupid ever smiling, and looking upon dancers; and in St. Mark's in Rome (whose work I know not), one of the most delicious pieces, is a many of [5521]satyrs dancing about a wench asleep. So that dancing still is as it were a necessary appendix to love matters. Young lasses are never better pleased than when as upon a holiday, after evensong, they may meet their sweethearts, and dance about a maypole, or in a town-green under a shady elm. Nothing so familiar in. [5522]France, as for citizens' wives and maids to dance a round in the streets, and often too, for want of better instruments, to make good music of their own voices, and dance after it. Yea many times this love will make old men and women that have more toes than teeth, dance,—John, come kiss me now, mask and mum; for Comus and Hymen love masks, and all such merriments above measure, will allow men to put on women's apparel in some cases, and promiscuously to dance, young and old, rich and poor, generous and base, of all sorts. Paulus Jovius taxeth Augustine Niphus the philosopher, [5523]for that being an old man, and a public professor, a father of many children, he was so mad for the love of a young maid (that which many of his friends were ashamed to see), an old gouty fellow, yet would dance after fiddlers. Many laughed him to scorn for it, but this omnipotent love would have it so. [5524]Hyacinthino bacillo Properans amor, me adegit Violenter ad sequendum.

Love hasty with his purple staff did make Me follow and the dance to undertake.

And 'tis no news this, no indecorum; for why? a good reason may be given of it. Cupid and death met both in an inn; and being merrily disposed, they did exchange some arrows from either quiver; ever since young men die, and oftentimes old men dote—[5525]Sic moritur Juvenis, sic moribundus amat. And who can then withstand it? If once we be in love, young or old, though our teeth shake in our heads, like virginal jacks, or stand parallel asunder like the arches of a bridge, there is no remedy, we must dance trenchmore for a need, over tables, chairs, and stools, &c. And princum prancum is a fine dance. Plutarch, Sympos. 1. quaest. 5. doth in some sort excuse it, and telleth us moreover in what sense, Musicam docet amor, licet prius fuerit rudis, how love makes them that had no skill before learn to sing and dance; he concludes, 'tis only that power and prerogative love hath over us. [5526]Love (as he holds) will make a silent man speak, a modest man most officious; dull, quick; slow, nimble; and that which is most to be admired, a hard, base, untractable churl, as fire doth iron in a smith's forge, free, facile, gentle, and easy to be entreated. Nay, 'twill make him prodigal in the other extreme, and give a [5527]hundred sesterces for a night's lodging, as they did of old to Lais of Corinth, or [5528] ducenta drachmarum millia pro unica nocte, as Mundus to Paulina, spend all his fortunes (as too many do in like case) to obtain his suit. For which cause many compare love to wine, which makes men jovial and merry, frolic and sad, whine, sing, dance, and what not. But above all the other symptoms of lovers, this is not lightly to be overpassed, that likely of what condition soever, if once they be in love, they turn to their ability, rhymers, ballad makers, and poets. For as Plutarch saith, [5529]They will be witnesses and trumpeters of their paramours' good parts, bedecking them with verses and commendatory songs, as we do statues with gold, that they may be remembered and admired of all. Ancient men will dote in this kind sometimes as well as the rest; the heat of love will thaw their frozen affections, dissolve the ice of age, and so far enable them, though they be sixty years of age above the girdle, to be scarce thirty beneath. Jovianus Pontanus makes an old fool rhyme, and turn poetaster to please his mistress. [5530]Ne ringas Mariana, meos me dispice canos, De sene nam juvenem dia referre potes, &c.

Sweet Marian do not mine age disdain, For thou canst make an old man young again.

They will be still singing amorous songs and ditties (if young especially), and cannot abstain though it be when they go to, or should be at church. We have a pretty story to this purpose in [5531]Westmonasteriensis, an old writer of ours (if you will believe it) _An. Dom._ 1012. at Colewiz in Saxony, on Christmas eve a company of young men and maids, whilst the priest was at mass in the church, were singing catches and love songs in the churchyard, he sent to them to make less noise, but they sung on still: and if you will, you shall have the very song itself. Equitabat homo per sylvam frondosam, Ducebatque secum Meswinden formosam.

Quid stamus, cur non imus?

A fellow rid by the greenwood side, And fair Meswinde was his bride,

Why stand we so, and do not go?

This they sung, he chaft, till at length, impatient as he was, he prayed to St. Magnus, patron of the church, they might all three sing and dance till that time twelvemonth, and so [5532]they did without meat and drink, wearisomeness or giving over, till at year's end they ceased singing, and were absolved by Herebertus archbishop of Cologne. They will in all places be doing thus, young folks especially, reading love stories, talking of this or that young man, such a fair maid, singing, telling or hearing lascivious tales, scurrilous tunes, such objects are their sole delight, their continual meditation, and as Guastavinius adds, Com. in 4. Sect. 27. Prov. Arist. ob seminis abundantiam crebrae cogitationes, veneris frequens recordatio et pruriens voluptas, &c. an earnest longing comes hence, pruriens corpus, pruriens anima, amorous conceits, tickling thoughts, sweet and pleasant hopes; hence it is, they can think, discourse willingly, or speak almost of no other subject. 'Tis their only desire, if it may be done by art, to see their husband's picture in a glass, they'll give anything to know when they shall be married, how many husbands they shall have, by cromnyomantia, a kind of divination with [5533]onions laid on the altar on Christmas eve, or by fasting on St. Anne's eve or night, to know who shall be their first husband, or by amphitormantia, by beans in a cake, &c., to burn the same. This love is the cause of all good conceits, [5534] neatness, exornations, plays, elegancies, delights, pleasant expressions, sweet motions, and gestures, joys, comforts, exultancies, and all the sweetness of our life, [5535]qualis jam vita foret, aut quid jucundi sine aurea Venere? [5536]Emoriar cum ista non amplius mihi cura fuerit, let me live no longer than I may love, saith a mad merry fellow in Mimnermus. This love is that salt that seasoneth our harsh and dull labours, and gives a pleasant relish to our other unsavoury proceedings, [5537]Absit amor, surgunt tenebrae, torpedo, veternum, pestis, &c. All our feasts almost, masques, mummings, banquets, merry meetings, weddings, pleasing songs, fine tunes, poems, love stories, plays, comedies, Atellans, jigs, Fescennines, elegies, odes, &c. proceed hence. [5538]Danaus, the son of Belus, at his daughter's wedding at Argos, instituted the first plays (some say) that ever were heard of symbols, emblems, impresses, devices, if we shall believe Jovius, Coutiles, Paradine, Camillus de Camillis, may be ascribed to it. Most of our arts and sciences, painting amongst the rest, was first invented, saith [5539]Patritius ex amoris beneficio, for love's sake. For when the daughter of [5540]Deburiades the Sycionian, was to take leave of her sweetheart now going to wars, ut desiderio ejus minus tabesceret, to comfort herself in his absence, she took his picture with coal upon a wall, as the candle gave the shadow, which her father admiring, perfected afterwards, and it was the first picture by report that ever was made. And long after, Sycion for painting, carving, statuary, music, and philosophy, was preferred before all the cities in Greece. [5541]Apollo was the first inventor of physic, divination, oracles; Minerva found out weaving, Vulcan curious ironwork, Mercury letters, but who prompted all this into their heads? Love, Nunquam talia invenissent, nisi talia adamassent, they loved such things, or some party, for whose sake they were undertaken at first. 'Tis true, Vulcan made a most admirable brooch or necklace, which long after Axion and Temenus, Phegius' sons, for the singular worth of it, consecrated to Apollo at Delphos, but Pharyllus the tyrant stole it away, and presented it to Ariston's wife, on whom he miserably doted (Parthenius tells the story out of Phylarchus); but why did Vulcan make this excellent Ouch? to give Hermione Cadmus' wife, whom he dearly loved. All our tilts and tournaments, orders of the garter, golden fleece, &c.—Nobilitas sub amore jacet—owe their beginnings to love, and many of our histories. By this means, saith Jovius, they would express their loving minds to their mistress, and to the beholders. 'Tis the sole subject almost of poetry, all our invention tends to it, all our songs, whatever those old Anacreons: (and therefore Hesiod makes the Muses and Graces still follow Cupid, and as Plutarch holds, Menander and the rest of the poets were love's priests,) all our Greek and Latin epigrammatists, love writers. Antony Diogenes the most ancient, whose epitome we find in Phocius Bibliotheca, Longus Sophista, Eustathius, Achilles, Tatius, Aristaenetus, Heliodorus, Plato, Plutarch, Lucian, Parthenius, Theodorus, Prodromus, Ovid, Catullus, Tibullus, &c. Our new Ariostoes, Boyards, Authors of Arcadia, Urania, Faerie Queen, &c. Marullus, Leotichius, Angerianus, Stroza, Secundus, Capellanus, &c. with the rest of those facete modern poets, have written in this kind, are but as so many symptoms of love. Their whole books are a synopsis or breviary of love, the portuous of love, legends of lovers' lives and deaths, and of their memorable adventures, nay more, quod leguntur, quod laudantur amori debent, as [5542]Nevisanus the lawyer holds, there never was any excellent poet that invented good fables, or made laudable verses, which was not in love himself; had he not taken a quill from Cupid's wings, he could never have written so amorously as he did.

[5543]Cynthia te vatem fecit lascive Properti, Ingenium Galli pulchra Lycoris habet.

Fama est arguti Nemesis formosa Tibulli, Lesbia dictavit docte Catulle tibi.

Non me Pelignus, nec spernet Mantua vatem, Si qua Corinna mihi, si quis Alexis erit.

Wanton Propertius and witty Callus, Subtile Tibullus, and learned Catullus, It was Cynthia, Lesbia, Lychoris, That made you poets all; and if Alexis, Or Corinna chance my paramour to be, Virgil and Ovid shall not despise me.

[5544]Non me carminibus vincet nec Thraceus Orpheus, Nec Linus.

Petrarch's Laura made him so famous, Astrophel's Stella, and Jovianus Pontanus' mistress was the cause of his roses, violets, lilies, nequitiae, blanditiae, joci, decor, nardus, ver, corolla, thus, Mars, Pallas, Venus, Charis, crocum, Laurus, unguentem, costum, lachrymae, myrrha, musae, &c. and the rest of his poems; why are Italians at this day generally so good poets and painters? Because every man of any fashion amongst them hath his mistress. The very rustics and hog-rubbers, Menalcas and Corydon, qui faetant de stercore equino, those fulsome knaves, if once they taste of this love-liquor, are inspired in an instant. Instead of those accurate emblems, curious impresses, gaudy masques, tilts, tournaments, &c., they have their wakes, Whitsun-ales, shepherd's feasts, meetings on holidays, country dances, roundelays, writing their names on [5545]trees, true lover's knots, pretty gifts. With tokens, hearts divided, and half rings, Shepherds in their loves are as coy as kings.

Choosing lords, ladies, kings, queens, and valentines, &c., they go by couples, Corydon's Phillis, Nysa and Mopsus, With dainty Dousibel and Sir Tophus.

Instead of odes, epigrams and elegies, &c., they have their ballads, country tunes, O the broom, the bonny, bonny broom, ditties and songs, Bess a belle, she doth excel,—they must write likewise and indite all in rhyme. [5546]Thou honeysuckle of the hawthorn hedge, Vouchsafe in Cupid's cup my heart to pledge; My heart's dear blood, sweet Cis is thy carouse Worth all the ale in Gammer Gubbin's house. I say no more, affairs call me away, My father's horse for provender doth stay. Be thou the Lady Cressetlight to me. Sir Trolly Lolly will I prove to thee. Written in haste, farewell my cowslip sweet, Pray let's a Sunday at the alehouse meet.

Your most grim stoics and severe philosophers will melt away with this passion, and if [5547]Atheneus belie them not, Aristippus, Apollodorus, Antiphanes, &c., have made love-songs and commentaries of their mistress' praises, [5548]orators write epistles, princes give titles, honours, what not? [5549]Xerxes gave to Themistocles Lampsacus to find him wine, Magnesia for bread, and Myunte for the rest of his diet. The [5550]Persian kings allotted whole cities to like use, haec civitas mulieri redimiculum praebeat, haec in collum, haec in crines, one whole city served to dress her hair, another her neck, a third her hood. Ahasuerus would [5551]have given Esther half his empire, and [5552]Herod bid Herodias ask what she would, she should have it. Caligula gave 100,000 sesterces to his courtesan at first word, to buy her pins, and yet when he was solicited by the senate to bestow something to repair the decayed walls of Rome for the commonwealth's good, he would give but 6000 sesterces at most. [5553]Dionysius, that Sicilian tyrant, rejected all his privy councillors, and was so besotted on Mirrha his favourite and mistress, that he would bestow no office, or in the most weightiest business of the kingdom do aught without her especial advice, prefer, depose, send, entertain no man, though worthy and well deserving, but by her consent; and he again whom she commended, howsoever unfit, unworthy, was as highly approved. Kings and emperors, instead of poems, build cities; Adrian built Antinoa in Egypt, besides constellations, temples, altars, statues, images, &c., in the honour of his Antinous. Alexander bestowed infinite sums to set out his Hephestion to all eternity. [5554]Socrates professeth himself love's servant, ignorant in all arts and sciences, a doctor alone in love matters, et quum alienarum rerum omnium scientiam diffiteretur, saith [5555]Maximus Tyrius, his sectator, hujus negotii professor, &c., and this he spake openly, at home and abroad, at public feasts, in the academy, in Pyraeo, Lycaeo, sub Platano, &c., the very bloodhound of beauty, as he is styled by others. But I conclude there is no end of love's symptoms, 'tis a bottomless pit. Love is subject to no dimensions; not to be surveyed by any art or engine: and besides, I am of [5556]Haedus' mind, no man can discourse of love matters, or judge of them aright, that hath not made trial in his own person, or as Aeneas Sylvius [5557]adds, hath not a little doted, been mad or lovesick himself. I confess I am but a novice, a contemplator only, Nescio quid sit amor nec amo[5558]—I have a tincture; for why should I lie, dissemble or excuse it, yet homo sum, &c., not altogether inexpert in this subject, non sum praeceptor amandi, and what I say, is merely reading, ex altorum forsan ineptiis, by mine own observation, and others' relation.

MEMB. IV.

_Prognostics of Love-Melancholy_.

What fires, torments, cares, jealousies, suspicions, fears, griefs, anxieties, accompany such as are in love, I have sufficiently said: the next question is, what will be the event of such miseries, what they foretell. Some are of opinion that this love cannot be cured, Nullis amor est medicabilis herbis, it accompanies them to the [5559]last, Idem amor exitio est pecori pecorisque magistro. The same passion consume both the sheep and the shepherd, and is so continuate, that by no persuasion almost it may be relieved. [5560]Bid me not love, said Euryalus, bid the mountains come down into the plains, bid the rivers run back to their fountains; I can as soon leave to love, as the sun leave his course; [5561]Et prius aequoribus pisces, et montibus umbrae, Et volucres deerunt sylvis, et murmura ventis, Quam mihi discedent formosae Amaryllidis ignes.

First seas shall want their fish, the mountains shade Woods singing birds, the wind's murmur shall fade, Than my fair Amaryllis' love allay'd.

Bid me not love, bid a deaf man hear, a blind man see, a dumb speak, lame run, counsel can do no good, a sick man cannot relish, no physic can ease me. Non prosunt domino quae prosunt omnibus artes. As Apollo confessed, and Jupiter himself could not be cured. [5562]Omnes humanos curat medicina dolores, Solus amor morbi non habet artificem.

Physic can soon cure every disease, [5563]Excepting love that can it not appease.

But whether love may be cured or no, and by what means, shall be explained in his place; in the meantime, if it take his course, and be not otherwise eased or amended, it breaks out into outrageous often and prodigious events. Amor et Liber violenti dii sunt) as [5564]Tatius observes, et eousque animum incendunt, ut pudoris oblivisci cogant, love and Bacchus are so violent gods, so furiously rage in our minds, that they make us forget all honesty, shame, and common civility. For such men ordinarily, as are thoroughly possessed with this humour, become insensati et insani, for it is [5565]amor insanus, as the poet calls it, beside themselves, and as I have proved, no better than beasts, irrational, stupid, headstrong, void of fear of God or men, they frequently forswear themselves, spend, steal, commit incests, rapes, adulteries, murders, depopulate towns, cities, countries, to satisfy their lust. [5566]A devil 'tis, and mischief such doth work, As never yet did Pagan, Jew, or Turk.

The wars of Troy may be a sufficient witness; and as Appian, lib. 5. hist, saith of Antony and Cleopatra, [5567]Their love brought themselves and all Egypt into extreme and miserable calamities, the end of her is as bitter as wormwood, and as sharp as a two-edged sword, Prov. v. 4, 5. Her feet go down to death, her steps lead on to hell. She is more bitter than death, (Eccles. vii. 28.) and the sinner shall be taken by her. [5568]Qui in amore praecipitavit, pejus perit, quam qui saxo salit. [5569]He that runs headlong from the top of a rock is not in so bad a case as he that falls into this gulf of love. For hence, saith [5570] Platina, comes repentance, dotage, they lose themselves, their wits, and make shipwreck of their fortunes altogether: madness, to make away themselves and others, violent death. Prognosticatio est talis, saith Gordonius, [5571]si non succurratur iis, aut in maniam cadunt, aut moriuntur; the prognostication is, they will either run mad, or die. For if this passion continue, saith [5572]Aelian Montaltus, it makes the blood hot, thick, and black; and if the inflammation get into the brain, with continual meditation and waking, it so dries it up, that madness follows, or else they make away themselves, [5573]O Corydon, Corydon, quae te dementia cepit? Now, as Arnoldus adds, it will speedily work these effects, if it be not presently helped; [5574]They will pine away, run mad, and die upon a sudden; Facile incidunt in maniam, saith Valescus, quickly mad, nisi succurratur, if good order be not taken, [5575]Ehou triste jugum quisquis amoris habet, Is prius se norit se periisse perit.

Oh heavy yoke of love, which whoso bears, Is quite undone, and that at unawares.

So she confessed of herself in the poet, [5576]———insaniam priusquam quis sentiat, Vix pili intervallo a furore absum.

I shall be mad before it be perceived, A hair-breadth off scarce am I, now distracted.

As mad as Orlando for his Angelica, or Hercules for his Hylas, At ille ruebat quo pedes ducebant, furibundus, Nam illi saevus Deus jntus jecur laniabat.

He went he car'd not whither, mad he was, The cruel God so tortured him, alas!

At the sight of Hero I cannot tell how many ran mad, [5577]Alius vulnus celans insanit pulchritudine puellae.

And whilst he doth conceal his grief, Madness comes on him like a thief.

Go to Bedlam for examples. It is so well known in every village, how many have either died for love, or voluntary made away themselves, that I need not much labour to prove it: [5578]Nec modus aut requies nisi mors reperitur amoris: death is the common catastrophe to such persons. [5579]Mori mihi contingat, non enim alia Liberatio ab aeramnis fuerit ullo paeto istis.

Would I were dead, for nought, God knows, But death can rid me of these woes.

As soon as Euryalus departed from Senes, Lucretia, his paramour, never looked up, no jests could exhilarate her sad mind, no joys comfort her wounded and distressed soul, but a little after she fell sick and died. But this is a gentle end, a natural death, such persons commonly make away themselves. ———proprioque in sanguine laetus, Indignantem animam vacuas elludit in auras;

so did Dido; Sed moriamur ait, sic sic juvat ire per umbras; [5580] Pyramus and Thisbe, Medea, [5581]Coresus and Callirhoe, [5582]Theagines the philosopher, and many myriads besides, and so will ever do, [5583]———et mihi fortis Est manus, est et amor, dabit hic in vulnera vires.

Whoever heard a story of more woe, Than that of Juliet and her Romeo?

Read Parthenium in Eroticis, and Plutarch's amatorias narrationes, or love stories, all tending almost to this purpose. Valleriola, lib. 2. observ. 7, hath a lamentable narration of a merchant, his patient, [5584] that raving through impatience of love, had he not been watched, would every while have offered violence to himself. Amatus Lusitanus, cent. 3. car. 56, hath such [5585]another story, and Felix Plater, med. observ. lib. 1. a third of a young [5586]gentleman that studied physic, and for the love of a doctor's daughter, having no hope to compass his desire, poisoned himself, [5587]anno 1615. A barber in Frankfort, because his wench was betrothed to another, cut his own throat. [5588]At Neoburg, the same year, a young man, because he could not get her parents' consent, killed his sweetheart, and afterward himself, desiring this of the magistrate, as he gave up the ghost, that they might be buried in one grave, Quodque rogis superest una requiescat in urna, which [5589] Gismunda besought of Tancredus, her father, that she might be in like sort buried with Guiscardus, her lover, that so their bodies might lie together in the grave, as their souls wander about [5590]Campos lugentes in the Elysian fields,—quos durus amor crudeli tabe peredit, [5591]in a myrtle grove [5592]———et myrtea circum Sylva tegit: curae non ipsa in morte relinquunt.

You have not yet heard the worst, they do not offer violence to themselves in this rage of lust, but unto others, their nearest and dearest friends. [5593]Catiline killed his only son, misitque ad orci pallida, lethi obnubila, obsita tenebris loca, for the love of Aurelia Oristella, quod ejus nuptias vivo filio recusaret. [5594]Laodice, the sister of Mithridates, poisoned her husband, to give content to a base fellow whom she loved. [5595]Alexander, to please Thais, a concubine of his, set Persepolis on fire. [5596]Nereus' wife, a widow, and lady of Athens, for the love of a Venetian gentleman, betrayed the city; and he for her sake murdered his wife, the daughter of a nobleman in Venice. [5597]Constantine Despota made away Catherine, his wife, turned his son Michael and his other children out of doors, for the love of a base scrivener's daughter in Thessalonica, with whose beauty he was enamoured. [5598]Leucophria betrayed the city where she dwelt, for her sweetheart's sake, that was in the enemies' camp. [5599]Pithidice, the governor's daughter of Methinia, for the love of Achilles, betrayed the whole island to him, her father's enemy. [5600]Diognetus did as much in the city where he dwelt, for the love of Policrita, Medea for the love of Jason, she taught him how to tame the fire-breathing brass-feeted bulls, and kill the mighty dragon that kept the golden fleece, and tore her little brother Absyrtus in pieces, that her father. Aethes might have something to detain him, while she ran away with her beloved Jason, &c. Such acts and scenes hath this tragicomedy of love.

MEMB. V.

SUBSECT. 1.—_Cure of Love-Melancholy, by Labour, Diet, Physic, Fasting, &c._

Although it be controverted by some, whether love-melancholy may be cured, because it is so irresistible and violent a passion; for as you know, [5601]———facilis descensus Averni; Sed revocare gradum, superasque evadere ad auras; Hic labor, hoc opus est.———

It is an easy passage down to hell, But to come back, once there, you cannot well.

Yet without question, if it be taken in time, it may be helped, and by many good remedies amended. Avicenna, lib. 3. Fen. cap. 23. et 24. sets down seven compendious ways how this malady may be eased, altered, and expelled. Savanarola 9. principal observations, Jason Pratensis prescribes eight rules besides physic, how this passion may be tamed, Laurentius 2. main precepts, Arnoldus, Valleriola, Montaltus, Hildesheim, Langius, and others inform us otherwise, and yet all tending to, the same purpose. The sum of which I will briefly epitomise, (for I light my candle from their torches) and enlarge again upon occasion, as shall seem best to me, and that after mine own method. The first rule to be observed in this stubborn and unbridled passion, is exercise and diet. It is an old and well-known, sentence, Sine Cerere et Saccho friget Venus (love grows cool without bread and wine). As an [5602]idle sedentary life, liberal feeding, are great causes of it, so the opposite, labour, slender and sparing diet, with continual business, are the best and most ordinary means to prevent it. Otio si tollas, periere Cupidinis artes, Contemptaeque jacent, et sine luce faces.

Take idleness away, and put to flight Are Cupid's arts, his torches give no light.

Minerva, Diana, Vesta, and the nine Muses were not enamoured at all, because they never were idle. [5603]Frustra blanditae appulistis ad has, Frustra nequitiae venistis ad has, Frustra delitiae obsidebitis has, Frustra has illecebrae, et procacitates, Et suspiria, et oscula, et susurri, Et quisquis male sana corda amantum Blandis ebria fascinat venenis.

In vain are all your flatteries, In vain are all your knaveries, Delights, deceits, procacities, Sighs, kisses, and conspiracies, And whate'er is done by art, To bewitch a lover's heart.

'Tis in vain to set upon those that are busy. 'Tis Savanarola's third rule, Occupari in multis et magnis negotiis, and Avicenna's precept, cap. 24. [5604]Cedit amor rebus; res, age tutus eris. To be busy still, and as [5605]Guianerius enjoins, about matters of great moment, if it may be. [5606]Magninus adds, Never to be idle but at the hours of sleep. [5607]———et si Poscas ante diem librum cum lumine, si non Intendas animum studiis, et rebus honestis, Invidia vel amore miser torquebere.———

For if thou dost not ply thy book, By candlelight to study bent, Employ'd about some honest thing, Envy or love shall thee torment.

No better physic than to be always occupied, seriously intent. [5608]Cur in penates rarius tenues subit, Haec delicatas eligens pestis domus, Mediumque sanos vulgus affectuss tenet? &c.

Why dost thou ask, poor folks are often free, And dainty places still molested be?

Because poor people fare coarsely, work hard, go woolward and bare. [5609] Non habet unde suum paupertas pascat amorem. [5610]Guianerius therefore prescribes his patient to go with hair-cloth next his skin, to go barefooted, and barelegged in cold weather, to whip himself now and then, as monks do, but above all to fast. Not with sweet wine, mutton and pottage, as many of those tender-bellies do, howsoever they put on Lenten faces, and whatsoever they pretend, but from all manner of meat. Fasting is an all-sufficient remedy of itself; for, as Jason Pratensis holds, the bodies of such persons that feed liberally, and live at ease, [5611]are full of bad spirits and devils, devilish thoughts; no better physic for such parties, than to fast. Hildesheim, spicel. 2. to this of hunger, adds, [5612]often baths, much exercise and sweat, but hunger and fasting he prescribes before the rest. And 'tis indeed our Saviour's oracle, This kind of devil is not cast out but by fasting and prayer, which makes the fathers so immoderate in commendation of fasting. As hunger, saith [5613] Ambrose, is a friend of virginity, so is it an enemy to lasciviousness, but fullness overthrows chastity, and fostereth all manner of provocations. If thine horse be too lusty, Hierome adviseth thee to take away some of his provender; by this means those Pauls, Hilaries, Anthonies, and famous anchorites, subdued the lusts of the flesh; by this means Hilarion made his ass, as he called his own body, leave kicking, (so [5614]Hierome relates of him in his life) when the devil tempted him to any such foul offence. By this means those [5615]Indian Brahmins kept themselves continent: they lay upon the ground covered with skins, as the red-shanks do on heather, and dieted themselves sparingly on one dish, which Guianerius would have all young men put in practice, and if that will not serve, [5616]Gordonius would have them soundly whipped, or, to cool their courage, kept in prison, and there fed with bread and water till they acknowledge their error, and become of another mind. If imprisonment and hunger will not take them down, according to the directions of that [5617] Theban Crates, time must wear it out; if time will not, the last refuge is a halter. But this, you will say, is comically spoken. Howsoever, fasting, by all means, must be still used; and as they must refrain from such meats formerly mentioned, which cause venery, or provoke lust, so they must use an opposite diet. [5618]Wine must be altogether avoided of the younger sort. So [5619]Plato prescribes, and would have the magistrates themselves abstain from it, for example's sake, highly commending the Carthaginians for their temperance in this kind. And 'twas a good edict, a commendable thing, so that it were not done for some sinister respect, as those old Egyptians abstained from wine, because some fabulous poets had given out, wine sprang first from the blood of the giants, or out of superstition, as our modern Turks, but for temperance, it being animae virus et vitiorum fomes, a plague itself, if immoderately taken. Women of old for that cause, [5620]in hot countries, were forbid the use of it; as severely punished for drinking of wine as for adultery; and young folks, as Leonicus hath recorded, Var. hist. l. 3. cap. 87, 88. out of Athenaeus and others, and is still practised in Italy, and some other countries of Europe and Asia, as Claudius Minoes hath well illustrated in his Comment on the 23. Emblem of Alciat. So choice is to be made of other diet. Nec minus erucas aptum est vitare salaces, Et quicquid veneri corpora nostra parat.

Eringos are not good for to be taken, And all lascivious meats must be forsaken.

Those opposite meats which ought to be used are cucumbers, melons, purslane, water-lilies, rue, woodbine, ammi, lettuce, which Lemnius so much commends, lib. 2, cap. 42. and Mizaldus hort. med. to this purpose; vitex, or agnus castus before the rest, which, saith [5621]Magninus, hath a wonderful virtue in it. Those Athenian women, in their solemn feasts called Thesmopheries, were to abstain nine days from the company of men, during which time, saith Aelian, they laid a certain herb, named hanea, in their beds, which assuaged those ardent flames of love, and freed them from the torments of that violent passion. See more in Porta, Matthiolus, Crescentius lib. 5. &c., and what every herbalist almost and physician hath written, cap. de Satyriasi et Priapismo; Rhasis amongst the rest. In some cases again, if they be much dejected, and brought low in body, and now ready to despair through anguish, grief, and too sensible a feeling of their misery, a cup of wine and full diet is not amiss, and as Valescus adviseth, cum alia honesta venerem saepe exercendo, which Langius epist. med. lib. 1. epist. 24. approves out of Rhasis (ad assiduationem coitus invitat] and Guianerius seconds it, cap. 16. tract. 16. as a [5622] very profitable remedy. [5623]———tument tibi quum inguina, cum si Ancilla, aut verna praesto est, tentigine rumpi Malis? non ego namque, &c.———

[5624]Jason Pratensis subscribes to this counsel of the poet, Excretio enim aut tollet prorsus aut lenit aegritudinem. As it did the raging lust of Ahasuerus, [5625]qui ad impatientiam amoris leniendam, per singulas fere noctes novas puellas devirginavit. And to be drunk too by fits; but this is mad physic, if it be at all to be permitted. If not, yet some pleasure is to be allowed, as that which Vives speaks of, lib. 3. de anima., [5626]A lover that hath as it were lost himself through impotency, impatience, must be called home as a traveller, by music, feasting, good wine, if need be to drunkenness itself, which many so much commend for the easing of the mind, all kinds of sports and merriments, to see fair pictures, hangings, buildings, pleasant fields, orchards, gardens, groves, ponds, pools, rivers, fishing, fowling, hawking, hunting, to hear merry tales, and pleasant discourse, reading, to use exercise till he sweat, that new spirits may succeed, or by some vehement affection or contrary passion to be diverted till he be fully weaned from anger, suspicion, cares, fears, &c., and habituated into another course. Semper tecum sit, (as [5627]Sempronius adviseth Calisto his lovesick master) qui sermones joculares moveat, conciones ridiculas, dicteria falsa, suaves historias, fabulas venustas recenseat, coram ludat, &c., still have a pleasant companion to sing and tell merry tales, songs and facete histories, sweet discourse, &c. And as the melody of music, merriment, singing, dancing, doth augment the passion of some lovers, as [5628] Avicenna notes, so it expelleth it in others, and doth very much good. These things must be warily applied, as the parties' symptoms vary, and as they shall stand variously affected. If there be any need of physic, that the humours be altered, or any new matter aggregated, they must be cured as melancholy men. Carolus a Lorme, amongst other questions discussed for his degree at Montpelier in France, hath this, An amantes et amantes iisdem remediis curentur? Whether lovers and madmen be cured by the same remedies? he affirms it; for love extended is mere madness. Such physic then as is prescribed, is either inward or outward, as hath been formerly handled in the precedent partition in the cure of melancholy. Consult with Valleriola observat. lib. 2. observ. 7. Lod. Mercatus lib. 2. cap. 4. de mulier. affect. Daniel Sennertus lib. 1. part. 2. cap. 10. [5629]Jacobus Ferrandus the Frenchman, in his Tract de amore Erotique, Forestus lib. 10. observ. 29 and 30, Jason Pratensis and others for peculiar receipts. [5630]Amatus Lusitanus cured a young Jew, that was almost mad for love, with the syrup of hellebore, and such other evacuations and purges which are usually prescribed to black choler: [5631]Avicenna confirms as much if need require, and [5632]bloodletting above the rest, which makes amantes ne sint amentes, lovers to come to themselves, and keep in their right minds. 'Tis the same which Schola Salernitana, Jason Pratensis, Hildesheim, &c., prescribe bloodletting to be used as a principal remedy. Those old Scythians had a trick to cure all appetite of burning lust, by [5633] letting themselves blood under the ears, and to make both men and women barren, as Sabellicus in his Aeneades relates of them. Which Salmuth. Tit. 10. de Herol. comment. in Pancirol. de nov. report. Mercurialis, var. lec. lib. 3. cap. 7. out of Hippocrates and Benzo say still is in use amongst the Indians, a reason of which Langius gives lib. 1. epist. 10. Huc faciunt medicamenta venerem sopientia, ut camphora pudendis alligata, et in bracha gestata (quidam ait) membrum flaccidum reddit. Laboravit hoc morbo virgo nobilis, cui inter caetera praescripsit medicus, ut laminam plumbeam multis foraminibus pertusam ad dies viginti portaret in dorso; ad exiccandum vero sperma jussit eam quam parcissime cibari, et manducare frequentur coriandrum praeparatum, et semen lactucae, et acetosae, et sic eam a morbo liberavit. Porro impediunt et remittunt coitum folia salicis trita et epota, et si frequentius usurpentur ipsa in totum auferunt. Idem praestat Topatius annulo gestatus, dexterum lupi testiculum attritum, et oleo vel aqua rosata exhibitum veneris taedium inducere scribit Alexander Benedictus: lac butyri commestum et semen canabis, et camphora exhibita idem praestant. Verbena herba gestata libidinem extinguit, pulvisquae ranae decollatae et exiccatae. Ad extinguendum coitum, ungantur membra genitalia, et renes et pecten aqua in qua opium Thebaicum sit dissolutum; libidini maxime contraria camphora est, et coriandrum siccum frangit coitum, et erectionem virgae impedit; idem efficit synapium ebibitum. Da verbenam in potu et non erigetur virga sex diebus; utere mentha sicca cum aceto, genitalia illinita succo hyoscyami aid cicutae, coitus appelitum sedant, &c. ℞. seminis lactuc. portulac. coriandri an. ℨj. menthae siccae ℨß. sacchari albiss. ℥iiij. pulveriscentur omnia subtiliter, et post ea simul misce aqua neunpharis, f. confec. solida in morsulis. Ex his sumat mane unum quum surgat. Innumera fere his similia petas ab Hildeshemo loco praedicto, Mizaldo, Porta, caeterisque.

SUBSECT. II.—_Withstand the beginnings, avoid occasions, change his place: fair and foul means, contrary passions, with witty inventions: to bring in another, and discommend the former_.

Other good rules and precepts are enjoined by our physicians, which, if not alone, yet certainly conjoined, may do much; the first of which is obstare principiis, to withstand the beginning,[5634]Quisquis in primo obstitit, Pepulitque amorem tutus ac victor fuit, he that will but resist at first, may easily be a conqueror at the last. Balthazar Castilio, l. 4. urgeth this prescript above the rest, [5635]when he shall chance (saith he) to light upon a woman that hath good behaviour joined with her excellent person, and shall perceive his eyes with a kind of greediness to pull unto them this image of beauty, and carry it to the heart: shall observe himself to be somewhat incensed with this influence, which moveth within: when he shall discern those subtle spirits sparkling in her eyes, to administer more fuel to the fire, he must wisely withstand the beginnings, rouse up reason, stupefied almost, fortify his heart by all means, and shut up all those passages, by which it may have entrance. 'Tis a precept which all concur upon, [5636]Opprime dum nova sunt subiti mala semina morbi, Dum licet, in primo lumine siste pedem.

Thy quick disease, whilst it is fresh today, By all means crush, thy feet at first step stay.

Which cannot speedier be done, than if he confess his grief and passion to some judicious friend [5637](qui tacitus ardet magis uritur, the more he conceals, the greater is his pain) that by his good advice may happily ease him on a sudden; and withal to avoid occasions, or any circumstance that may aggravate his disease, to remove the object by all means; for who can stand by a fire and not burn? [5638]Sussilite obsecro et mittite istanc foras, quae misero mihi amanti ebibit sanguinem.

'Tis good therefore to keep quite out of her company, which Hierom so much labours to Paula, to Nepotian; Chrysost. so much inculcates in ser. in contubern. Cyprian, and many other fathers of the church, Siracides in his ninth chapter, Jason Pratensis, Savanarola, Arnoldus, Valleriola, &c., and every physician that treats of this subject. Not only to avoid, as [5639] Gregory Tholosanus exhorts, kissing, dalliance, all speeches, tokens, love-letters, and the like, or as Castilio, lib. 4. to converse with them, hear them speak, or sing, (tolerabilius est audire basiliscum sibilantem, thou hadst better hear, saith [5640]Cyprian, a serpent hiss) [5641]those amiable smiles, admirable graces, and sweet gestures, which their presence affords. [5642]Neu capita liment solitis morsiunculis, Et his papillarum oppressiunculis Abstineant:———

but all talk, name, mention, or cogitation of them, and of any other women, persons, circumstance, amorous book or tale that may administer any occasion of remembrance. [5643]Prosper adviseth young men not to read the Canticles, and some parts of Genesis at other times; but for such as are enamoured they forbid, as before, the name mentioned, &c., especially all sight, they must not so much as come near, or look upon them. [5644]Et fugitare decet simulacra et pabula amoris, Abstinere sibi atque alio convertere mentem.

Gaze not on a maid, saith Siracides, turn away thine eyes from a beautiful woman, c. 9. v. 5. 7, 8. averte oculos, saith David, or if thou dost see them, as Ficinus adviseth, let not thine eye be intentus ad libidinem, do not intend her more than the rest: for as [5645]Propertius holds, Ipse alimenta sibi maxima praebet amor, love as a snow ball enlargeth itself by sight: but as Hierome to Nepotian, aut aequaliter ama, aut aequaliter ignora, either see all alike, or let all alone; make a league with thine eyes, as [5646]Job did, and that is the safest course, let all alone, see none of them. Nothing sooner revives, [5647]or waxeth sore again, as Petrarch holds, than love doth by sight. As pomp renews ambition; the sight of gold, covetousness; a beauteous object sets on fire this burning lust. Et multum saliens incitat unda sitim. The sight of drink makes one dry, and the sight of meat increaseth appetite. 'Tis dangerous therefore to see. A [5648]young gentleman in merriment would needs put on his mistress's clothes, and walk abroad alone, which some of her suitors espying, stole him away for her that he represented. So much can sight enforce. Especially if he have been formerly enamoured, the sight of his mistress strikes him into a new fit, and makes him rave many days after. [5649]———Infirmis causa pusilla nocet,

Ut pene extinctum cinerem si sulphure tangas, Vivet, et ex minimo maximus ignis erit:

Sic nisi vitabis quicquid renovabit amorem, Flamma recrudescet, quae modo nulla fuit.

A sickly man a little thing offends, As brimstone doth a fire decayed renew,

And makes it burn afresh, doth love's dead flames, If that the former object it review.

Or, as the poet compares it to embers in ashes, which the wind blows, [5650]ut solet a ventis, &c., a scald head (as the saying is) is soon broken, dry wood quickly kindles, and when they have been formerly wounded with sight, how can they by seeing but be inflamed? Ismenias acknowledged as much of himself, when he had been long absent, and almost forgotten his mistress, [5651]at the first sight of her, as straw in a fire, I burned afresh, and more than ever I did before. [5652]Chariclia was as much moved at the sight of her dear Theagines, after he had been a great stranger. [5653]Mertila, in Aristaenetus, swore she would never love Pamphilus again, and did moderate her passion, so long as he was absent; but the next time he came in presence, she could not contain, effuse amplexa attrectari se sinit, &c., she broke her vow, and did profusely embrace him. Hermotinus, a young man (in the said [5654]author) is all out as unstaid, he had forgot his mistress quite, and by his friends was well weaned from her love; but seeing her by chance, agnovit veteris vestigia flammae, he raved amain, Illa tamen emergens veluti lucida stella cepit elucere, &c., she did appear as a blazing star, or an angel to his sight. And it is the common passion of all lovers to be overcome in this sort. For that cause belike Alexander discerning this inconvenience and danger that comes by seeing, [5655]when he heard Darius's wife so much commended for her beauty, would scarce admit her to come in his sight, foreknowing belike that of Plutarch, formosam videre periculosissimum, how full of danger it is to see a proper woman, and though he was intemperate in other things, yet in this superbe se gessit, he carried himself bravely. And so when as Araspus, in Xenophon, had so much magnified that divine face of Panthea to Cyrus, [5656]by how much she was fairer than ordinary, by so much he was the more unwilling to see her. Scipio, a young man of twenty-three years of age, and the most beautiful of the Romans, equal in person to that Grecian Charinus, or Homer's Nireus, at the siege of a city in Spain, when as a noble and most fair young gentlewoman was brought unto him, [5657]and he had heard she was betrothed to a lord, rewarded her, and sent her back to her sweetheart. St. Austin, as [5658]Gregory reports of him, ne cum sorore quidem sua putavit habitandum, would not live in the house with his own sister. Xenocrates lay with Lais of Corinth all night, and would not touch her. Socrates, though all the city of Athens supposed him to dote upon fair Alcibiades, yet when he had an opportunity, [5659]solus cum solo to lie in the chamber with, and was wooed by him besides, as the said Alcibiades publicly [5660]confessed, formam sprevit et superbe contempsit, he scornfully rejected him. Petrarch, that had so magnified his Laura in several poems, when by the pope's means she was offered unto him, would not accept of her. [5661]It is a good happiness to be free from this passion of love, and great discretion it argues in such a man that he can so contain himself; but when thou art once in love, to moderate thyself (as he saith) is a singular point of wisdom. [5662]Nam vitare plagas in amoris ne jaciamur Non ita difficile est, quam captum retibus ipsis Exire, et validos Veneris perrumpere nodos.

To avoid such nets is no such mastery, But ta'en escape is all the victory.

But, forasmuch as few men are free, so discreet lovers, or that can contain themselves, and moderate their passions, to curb their senses, as not to see them, not to look lasciviously, not to confer with them, such is the fury of this headstrong passion of raging lust, and their weakness, ferox ille ardor a natura insitus, [5663]as he terms it such a furious desire nature hath inscribed, such unspeakable delight. Sic Divae Veneris furor, Insanis adeo mentibus incubat,

which neither reason, counsel, poverty, pain, misery, drudgery, partus dolor, &c., can deter them from; we must use some speedy means to correct and prevent that, and all other inconveniences, which come by conference and the like. The best, readiest, surest way, and which all approve, is Loci mutatio, to send them several ways, that they may neither hear of, see, nor have an opportunity to send to one another again, or live together, soli cum sola, as so many Gilbertines. Elongatio a patria, 'tis Savanarola's fourth rule, and Gordonius' precept, distrahatur ad longinquas regiones, send him to travel. 'Tis that which most run upon, as so many hounds, with full cry, poets, divines, philosophers, physicians, all, mutet patriam: Valesius: [5664]as a sick man he must be cured with change of air, Tully 4 Tuscul. The best remedy is to get thee gone, Jason Pratensis: change air and soil, Laurentius. [5665]Fuge littus amatum. Virg. Utile finitimis abstinuisse locis. [5666]Ovid. I procul, et longas carpere perge vias. ———sed fuge tutus eris.

Travelling is an antidote of love, [5667]Magnum iter ad doctas proficisci cogor Athenas, Ut me longa gravi solvat amore via.

For this purpose, saith [5668]Propertius, my parents sent me to Athens; time and patience wear away pain and grief, as fire goes out for want of fuel. Quantum oculis, animo tam procul ibit amor. But so as they tarry out long enough: a whole year [5669]Xenophon prescribes Critobulus, vix enim intra hoc tempus ab amore sanari poteris: some will hardly be weaned under. All this [5670]Heinsius merrily inculcates in an epistle to his friend Primierus; first fast, then tarry, thirdly, change thy place, fourthly, think of a halter. If change of place, continuance of time, absence, will not wear it out with those precedent remedies, it will hardly be removed: but these commonly are of force. Felix Plater, observ. lib. 1. had a baker to his patient, almost mad for the love of his maid, and desperate; by removing her from him, he was in a short space cured. Isaeus, a philosopher of Assyria, was a most dissolute liver in his youth, palam lasciviens, in love with all he met; but after he betook himself, by his friends' advice, to his study, and left women's company, he was so changed that he cared no more for plays, nor feasts, nor masks, nor songs, nor verses, fine clothes, nor no such love toys: he became a new man upon a sudden, tanquam si priores oculos amisisset, (saith mine [5671]author) as if he had lost his former eyes. Peter Godefridus, in the last chapter of his third book, hath a story out of St. Ambrose, of a young man that meeting his old love after long absence, on whom he had extremely doted, would scarce take notice of her; she wondered at it, that he should so lightly esteem her, called him again, lenibat dictis animum, and told him who she was, Ego sum, inquit: At ego non sum ego; but he replied, he was not the same man: proripuit sese tandem, as [5672]Aeneas fled from Dido, not vouchsafing her any farther parley, loathing his folly, and ashamed of that which formerly he had done. [5673]Non sum stultus ut ante jam Neaera. O Neaera, put your tricks, and practise hereafter upon somebody else, you shall befool me no longer. Petrarch hath such another tale of a young gallant, that loved a wench with one eye, and for that cause by his parents was sent to travel into far countries, after some years he returned, and meeting the maid for whose sake he was sent abroad, asked her how, and by what chance she lost her eye? no, said she, I have lost none, but you have found yours: signifying thereby, that all lovers were blind, as Fabius saith, Amantes de forma judicare non possunt, lovers cannot judge of beauty, nor scarce of anything else, as they will easily confess after they return unto themselves, by some discontinuance or better advice, wonder at their own folly, madness, stupidity, blindness, be much abashed, and laugh at love, and call it an idle thing, condemn themselves that ever they should be so besotted or misled: and be heartily glad they have so happily escaped. If so be (which is seldom) that change of place will not effect this alteration, then other remedies are to be annexed, fair and foul means, as to persuade, promise, threaten, terrify, or to divert by some contrary passion, rumour, tales, news, or some witty invention to alter his affection, [5674]by some greater sorrow to drive out the less, saith Gordonius, as that his house is on fire, his best friends dead, his money stolen. [5675]That he is made some great governor, or hath some honour, office, some inheritance is befallen him. He shall be a knight, a baron; or by some false accusation, as they do to such as have the hiccup, to make them forget it. St. Hierome, lib. 2. epist. 16. to Rusticus the monk, hath an instance of a young man of Greece, that lived in a monastery in Egypt, [5676]that by no labour, no continence, no persuasion, could be diverted, but at last by this trick he was delivered. The abbot sets one of his convent to quarrel with him, and with some scandalous reproach or other to defame him before company, and then to come and complain first, the witnesses were likewise suborned for the plaintiff. The young man wept, and when all were against him, the abbot cunningly took his part, lest he should be overcome with immoderate grief: but what need many words? by this invention he was cured, and alienated from his pristine love-thoughts—Injuries, slanders, contempts, disgraces—spretaeque injuria formae, the insult of her slighted beauty, are very forcible means to withdraw men's affections, contumelia affecti amatores amare desinunt, as [5677]Lucian saith, lovers reviled or neglected, contemned or misused, turn love to hate; [5678]redeam? Non si me obsecret, I'll never love thee more. Egone illam, quae illum, quae me, quae non? So Zephyrus hated Hyacinthus because he scorned him, and preferred his co-rival Apollo (Palephaetus fab. Nar.), he will not come again though he be invited. Tell him but how he was scoffed at behind his back, ('tis the counsel of Avicenna), that his love is false, and entertains another, rejects him, cares not for him, or that she is a fool; a nasty quean, a slut, a vixen, a scold, a devil, or, which Italians commonly do, that he or she hath some loathsome filthy disease, gout, stone, strangury, falling sickness, and that they are hereditary, not to be avoided, he is subject to a consumption, hath the pox, that he hath three or four incurable tetters, issues; that she is bald, her breath stinks, she is mad by inheritance, and so are all the kindred, a hair-brain, with many other secret infirmities, which I will not so much as name, belonging to women. That he is a hermaphrodite, an eunuch, imperfect, impotent, a spendthrift, a gamester, a fool, a gull, a beggar, a whoremaster, far in debt, and not able to maintain her, a common drunkard, his mother was a witch, his father hanged, that he hath a wolf in his bosom, a sore leg, he is a leper, hath some incurable disease, that he will surely beat her, he cannot hold his water, that he cries out or walks in the night, will stab his bedfellow, tell all his secrets in his sleep, and that nobody dare lie with him, his house is haunted with spirits, with such fearful and tragical things, able to avert and terrify any man or woman living, Gordonius, cap. 20. part. 2. hunc in modo consulit; Paretur aliqua vetula turpissima aspectu, cum turpi et vili habitu: et portet subtus gremium pannum menstrualem, et dicat quod amica sua sit ebriosa, et quod mingat in lecto, et quod est epileptica et impudicia; et quod in corpore suo sunt excrescentiae enormes, cum faetore anhelitus, et aliae enormitates, quibus vetulae sunt edoctae: si nolit his persuaderi, subito extrahat [5679]pannum menstrualem, coram facie portando, exclamando, talis est amica tua; et si ex his non demiserit, non est homo, sed diabolus incarnatus. Idem fere, Avicenna, cap. 24, de cura Elishi, lib. 3, Fen. 1. Tract. 4. Narrent res immundas vetulae, ex quibus abominationem incurrat, et res [5680]sordidas et, hoc assiduent. Idem Arculanus cap. 16. in 9. Rhasis, &c. Withal as they do discommend the old, for the better effecting a more speedy alteration, they must commend another paramour, alteram inducere, set him or her to be wooed, or woo some other that shall be fairer, of better note, better fortune, birth, parentage, much to be preferred, [5681] Invenies alium si te hic fastidit Alexis, by this means, which Jason Pratensis wisheth, to turn the stream of affection another way, Successore novo truditur omnis amor; or, as Valesius adviseth, by [5682]subdividing to diminish it, as a great river cut into many channels runs low at last. [5683]Hortor et ut pariter binas habeatis amicas, &c. If you suspect to be taken, be sure, saith the poet, to have two mistresses at once, or go from one to another: as he that goes from a good fire in cold weather is both to depart from it, though in the next room there be a better which will refresh him as much; there's as much difference of haec as hac ignis; or bring him to some public shows, plays, meetings, where he may see variety, and he shall likely loathe his first choice: carry him but to the next town, yea peradventure to the next house, and as Paris lost Oenone's love by seeing Helen, and Cressida forsook Troilus by conversing with Diomede, he will dislike his former mistress, and leave her quite behind him, as [5684]Theseus left Ariadne fast asleep in the island of Dia, to seek her fortune, that was erst his loving mistress. [5685]Nunc primum Dorida vetus amator contempsi, as he said, Doris is but a dowdy to this. As he that looks himself in a glass forgets his physiognomy forthwith, this flattering glass of love will be diminished by remove; after a little absence it will be remitted, the next fair object will likely alter it. A young man in [5686]Lucian was pitifully in love, he came to the theatre by chance, and by seeing other fair objects there, mentis sanitatem recepit, was fully recovered, [5687] and went merrily home, as if he had taken a dram of oblivion. [5688]A mouse (saith an apologer) was brought up in a chest, there fed with fragments of bread and cheese, though there could be no better meat, till coming forth at last, and feeding liberally of other variety of viands, loathed his former life: moralise this fable by thyself. Plato, in. his seventh

## book De Legibus, hath a pretty fiction of a city under ground, [5689]to

which by little holes some small store of light came; the inhabitants thought there could not be a better place, and at their first coming abroad they might not endure the light, aegerrime solem intueri; but after they were accustomed a little to it, [5690]they deplored their fellows' misery that lived under ground. A silly lover is in like state, none so fair as his mistress at first, he cares for none but her; yet after a while, when he hath compared her with others, he abhors her name, sight, and memory. 'Tis generally true; for as he observes, [5691]Priorem flammam novus ignis extrudit; et ea multorum natura, ut praesentes maxime ament, one fire drives out another; and such is women's weakness, that they love commonly him that is present. And so do many men; as he confessed, he loved Amye, till he saw Florial, and when he saw Cynthia, forgat them both: but fair Phillis was incomparably beyond, them all, Cloris surpassed her, and yet when he espied Amaryllis, she was his sole mistress; O divine Amaryllis: quam procera, cupressi ad instar, quam elegans, quam decens, &c. How lovely, how tall, how comely she was (saith Polemius) till he saw another, and then she was the sole subject of his thoughts. In conclusion, her he loves best he saw last. [5692]Triton, the sea-god, first loved Leucothoe, till he came in presence of Milaene, she was the commandress of his heart, till he saw Galatea: but (as [5693]she complains) he loved another eftsoons, another, and another. 'Tis a thing which, by Hierom's report, hath been usually practised. [5694]Heathen philosophers drive out one love with another, as they do a peg, or pin with a pin. Which those seven Persian princes did to Ahasuerus, that they might requite the desire of Queen Vashti with the love of others. Pausanias in Eliacis saith, that therefore one Cupid was painted to contend with another, and to take the garland from him, because one love drives out another, [5695]Alterius vires subtrahit alter amor; and Tully, 3. Nat. Deor. disputing with C. Cotta, makes mention of three several Cupids, all differing in office. Felix Plater, in the first book of his observations, boasts how he cured a widower in Basil, a patient of his, by this stratagem alone, that doted upon a poor servant his maid, when friends, children, no persuasion could serve to alienate his mind: they motioned him to another honest man's daughter in the town, whom he loved, and lived with long after, abhorring the very name and sight of the first. After the death of Lucretia, [5696]Euryalus would admit of no comfort, till the Emperor Sigismund married him to a noble lady of his court, and so in short space he was freed.

SUBSECT. III.—_By counsel and persuasion, foulness of the fact, men's, women's faults, miseries of marriage, events of lust, &c._

As there be divers causes of this burning lust, or heroical love, so there be many good remedies to ease and help; amongst which, good counsel and persuasion, which I should have handled in the first place, are of great moment, and not to be omitted. Many are of opinion, that in this blind headstrong passion counsel can do no good. [5697]Quae enim res in se neque consilium neque modum Habet, ullo eam consilio regere non potes.

Which thing hath neither judgment, or an end, How should advice or counsel it amend?

[5698]Quis enim modus adsit amori? But, without question, good counsel and advice must needs be of great force, especially if it shall proceed from a wise, fatherly, reverent, discreet person, a man of authority, whom the parties do respect, stand in awe of, or from a judicious friend, of itself alone it is able to divert and suffice. Gordonius, the physician, attributes so much to it, that he would have it by all means used in the first place. Amoveatur ab illa, consilio viri quem timet, ostendendo pericula saeculi, judicium inferni, gaudia Paradisi. He would have some discreet men to dissuade them, after the fury of passion is a little spent, or by absence allayed; for it is as intempestive at first, to give counsel, as to comfort parents when their children are in that instant departed; to no purpose to prescribe narcotics, cordials, nectarines, potions, Homer's nepenthes, or Helen's bowl, &c. Non cessabit pectus tundere, she will lament and howl for a season: let passion have his course awhile, and then he may proceed, by foreshowing the miserable events and dangers which will surely happen, the pains of hell, joys of Paradise, and the like, which by their preposterous courses they shall forfeit or incur; and 'tis a fit method, a very good means; for what [5699]Seneca said of vice, I say of love, Sine magistro discitur, vix sine magistro deseritur, 'tis learned of itself, but [5700]hardly left without a tutor. 'Tis not amiss therefore to have some such overseer, to expostulate and show them such absurdities, inconveniences, imperfections, discontents, as usually follow; which their blindness, fury, madness, cannot apply unto themselves, or will not apprehend through weakness; and good for them to disclose themselves, to give ear to friendly admonitions. Tell me, sweetheart (saith Tryphena to a lovesick Charmides in [5701]Lucian), what is it that troubles thee? peradventure I can ease thy mind, and further thee in thy suit; and so, without question, she might, and so mayst thou, if the patient be capable of good counsel, and will hear at least what may be said. If he love at all, she is either an honest woman or a whore. If dishonest, let him read or inculcate to him that 5. of Solomon's Proverbs, Ecclus. 26. Ambros. lib. 1. cap. 4. in his book of Abel and Cain, Philo Judeus de mercede mer. Platina's dial. in Amores, Espencaeus, and those three books of Pet. Haedus de contem. amoribus, Aeneas Sylvius' tart Epistle, which he wrote to his friend Nicholas of Warthurge, which he calls medelam illiciti amoris &c. [5702]For what's a whore, as he saith, but a poller of youth, a [5703]ruin of men, a destruction, a devourer of patrimonies, a downfall of honour, fodder for the devil, the gate of death, and supplement of hell? [5704]Talis amor est laqueus animae, &c., a bitter honey, sweet poison, delicate destruction, a voluntary mischief, commixtum coenum, sterquilinium. And as [5705]Pet. Aretine's Lucretia, a notable quean, confesseth: Gluttony, anger, envy, pride, sacrilege, theft, slaughter, were all born that day that a whore began her profession; for, as she follows it, her pride is greater than a rich churl's, she is more envious than the pox, as malicious as melancholy, as covetous as hell. If from the beginning of the world any were mala, pejor, pessima, bad in the superlative degree, 'tis a whore; how many have I undone, caused to be wounded, slain! O Antonia, thou seest [5706]what I am without, but within, God knows, a puddle of iniquity, a sink of sin, a pocky quean. Let him now that so dotes meditate on this; let him see the event and success of others, Samson, Hercules, Holofernes, &c. Those infinite mischiefs attend it: if she be another man's wife he loves, 'tis abominable in the sight of God and men; adultery is expressly forbidden in God's commandment, a mortal sin, able to endanger his soul: if he be such a one that fears God, or have any religion, he will eschew it, and abhor the loathsomeness of his own fact. If he love an honest maid, 'tis to abuse or marry her; if to abuse, 'tis fornication, a foul fact (though some make light of it), and almost equal to adultery itself. If to marry, let him seriously consider what he takes in hand, look before ye leap, as the proverb is, or settle his affections, and examine first the party, and condition of his estate and hers, whether it be a fit match, for fortunes, years, parentage, and such other circumstances, an sit sitae Veneris. Whether it be likely to proceed: if not, let him wisely stave himself off at the first, curb in his inordinate passion, and moderate his desire, by thinking of some other subject, divert his cogitations. Or if it be not for his good, as Aeneas, forewarned by Mercury in a dream, left Dido's love, and in all haste got him to sea, [5707]Mnestea, Surgestumque vocat fortemque Cloanthem, Classem aptent taciti jubet———

and although she did oppose with vows, tears, prayers, and imprecation. [5708]———nullis ille movetur Fletibus, aut illas voces tractabilis audit;

Let thy Mercury-reason rule thee against all allurements, seeming delights, pleasing inward or outward provocations. Thou mayst do this if thou wilt, pater non deperit filiam, nec frater sororem, a father dotes not on his own daughter, a brother on a sister; and why? because it is unnatural, unlawful, unfit. If he be sickly, soft, deformed, let him think of his deformities, vices, infirmities; if in debt, let him ruminate how to pay his debts: if he be in any danger, let him seek to avoid it: if he have any lawsuit, or other business, he may do well to let his love-matters alone and follow it, labour in his vocation whatever it is. But if he cannot so ease himself, yet let him wisely premeditate of both their estates; if they be unequal in years, she young and he old, what an unfit match must it needs be, an uneven yoke, how absurd and indecent a thing is it! as Lycinus in [5709]Lucian told Timolaus, for an old bald crook-nosed knave to marry a young wench; how odious a thing it is to see an old lecher! What should a bald fellow do with a comb, a dumb doter with a pipe, a blind man with a looking-glass, and thou with such a wife? How absurd it is for a young man to marry an old wife for a piece of good. But put case she be equal in years, birth, fortunes, and other qualities correspondent, he doth desire to be coupled in marriage, which is an honourable estate, but for what respects? Her beauty belike, and comeliness of person, that is commonly the main object, she is a most absolute form, in his eye at least, Cui formam Paphia, et Charites tribuere decoram; but do other men affirm as much? or is it an error in his judgment. [5710]Fallunt nos oculi vagique sensus, Oppressa ratione mentiuntur,

our eyes and other senses will commonly deceive us; it may be, to thee thyself upon a more serious examination, or after a little absence, she is not so fair as she seems. Quaedam videntur et non sunt; compare her to another standing by, 'tis a touchstone to try, confer hand to hand, body to body, face to face, eye to eye, nose to nose, neck to neck, &c., examine every part by itself, then altogether, in all postures, several sites, and tell me how thou likest her. It may be not she, that is so fair, but her coats, or put another in her clothes, and she will seem all out as fair; as the [5711]poet then prescribes, separate her from her clothes: suppose thou saw her in a base beggar's weed, or else dressed in some old hirsute attires out of fashion, foul linen, coarse raiment, besmeared with soot, colly, perfumed with opoponax, sagapenum, asafoetida, or some such filthy gums, dirty, about some indecent action or other; or in such a case as [5712]Brassivola, the physician, found Malatasta, his patient, after a potion of hellebore, which he had prescribed: Manibus in terram depositis, et ano versus caelum elevato (ac si videretur Socraticus ille Aristophanes, qui Geometricas figuras in terram scribens, tubera colligere videbatur) atram bilem in album parietem injiciebat, adeoque totam cameram, et se deturpabat, ut, &c., all to bewrayed, or worse; if thou saw'st her (I say) would thou affect her as thou dost? Suppose thou beheldest her in a [5713] frosty morning, in cold weather, in some passion or perturbation of mind, weeping, chafing, &c., rivelled and ill-favoured to behold. She many times that in a composed look seems so amiable and delicious, tam scitula, forma, if she do but laugh or smile, makes an ugly sparrow-mouthed face, and shows a pair of uneven, loathsome, rotten, foul teeth: she hath a black skin, gouty legs, a deformed crooked carcass under a fine coat. It may be for all her costly tires she is bald, and though she seem so fair by dark, by candlelight, or afar off at such a distance, as Callicratides observed in [5714]Lucian, If thou should see her near, or in a morning, she would appear more ugly than a beast; [5715]si diligenter consideres, quid per os et nares et caeteros corporis meatus egreditur, vilius sterquilinium nunquam vidisti. Follow my counsel, see her undressed, see her, if it be possible, out of her attires, furtivis nudatam coloribus, it may be she is like Aesop's jay, or [5716]Pliny's cantharides, she will be loathsome, ridiculous, thou wilt not endure her sight: or suppose thou saw'st her, pale, in a consumption, on her death-bed, skin and bones, or now dead, Cujus erat gratissimus amplexus (whose embrace was so agreeable) as Barnard saith, erit horribilis aspectus; Non redolet, sed olet, quae, redolere solet, As a posy she smells sweet, is most fresh and fair one day, but dried up, withered, and stinks another. Beautiful Nireus, by that Homer so much admired, once dead, is more deformed than Thersites, and Solomon deceased as ugly as Marcolphus: thy lovely mistress that was erst [5717]Charis charior ocellis, dearer to thee than thine eyes, once sick or departed, is Vili vilior aestimata coeno, worse than any dirt or dunghill. Her embraces were not so acceptable, as now her looks be terrible: thou hadst better behold a Gorgon's head, than Helen's carcass. Some are of opinion, that to see a woman naked is able of itself to alter his affection; and it is worthy of consideration, saith [5718]Montaigne the Frenchman in his Essays, that the skilfulest masters of amorous dalliance, appoint for a remedy of venerous passions, a full survey of the body; which the poet insinuates, [5719]Ille quod obscaenas in aperto corpore partes Viderat, in cursu qui fuit, haesit amor.

The love stood still, that run in full career, When once it saw those parts should not appear.

It is reported of Seleucus, king of Syria, that seeing his wife Stratonice's bald pate, as she was undressing her by chance, he could never affect her after. Remundus Lullius, the physician, spying an ulcer or cancer in his mistress' breast, whom he so dearly loved, from that day following abhorred the looks of her. Philip the French king, as Neubrigensis, lib. 4. cap. 24. relates it, married the king of Denmark's daughter, [5720]and after he had used her as a wife one night, because her breath stunk, they say, or for some other secret fault, sent her back again to her father. Peter Mattheus, in the life of Lewis the Eleventh, finds fault with our English [5721]chronicles, for writing how Margaret the king of Scots' daughter, and wife to Louis the Eleventh, French king, was ob graveolentiam oris, rejected by her husband. Many such matches are made for by-respects, or some seemly comeliness, which after honeymoon's past, turn to bitterness: for burning lust is but a flash, a gunpowder passion; and hatred oft follows in the highest degree, dislike and contempt. [5722]———Cum se cutis arida laxat, Fiunt obscuri dentes———

when they wax old, and ill-favoured, they may commonly no longer abide them,—Jam gravis es nobis, Be gone, they grow stale, fulsome, loathsome, odious, thou art a beastly filthy quean,—[5723]faciem Phoebe cacantis habes, thou art Saturni podex, withered and dry, insipida et vetula,—[5724]Te quia rugae turpant, et capitis nives, (I say) be gone, [5725]portae patent, proficiscere. Yea, but you will infer, your mistress is complete, of a most absolute form in all men's opinions, no exceptions can be taken at her, nothing may be added to her person, nothing detracted, she is the mirror of women for her beauty, comeliness and pleasant grace, inimitable, merae deliciae, meri lepores, she is Myrothetium Veneris, Gratiarum pixis, a mere magazine of natural perfections, she hath all the Veneres and Graces,—mille faces et mille figuras, in each part absolute and complete, [5726]Laeta genas laeta os roseum, vaga lumina laeta: to be admired for her person, a most incomparable, unmatchable piece, aurea proles, ad simulachrum alicujus numinis composita, a Phoenix, vernantis aetatulae Venerilla, a nymph, a fairy, [5727]like Venus herself when she was a maid, nulli secunda, a mere quintessence, flores spirans et amaracum, foeminae prodigium: put case she be, how long will she continue? [5728]Florem decoris singuli carpunt dies: Every day detracts from her person, and this beauty is bonum fragile, a mere flash, a Venice glass, quickly broken, [5729]Anceps forma bonum mortalibus, ———exigui donum breve temporis,

it will not last. As that fair flower [5730]Adonis, which we call an anemone, flourisheth but one month, this gracious all-commanding beauty fades in an instant. It is a jewel soon lost, the painter's goddess, fulsa veritas, a mere picture. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vanity, Prov. xxxi. 30. [5731]Vitrea gemmula, fluxaque bullula, candida forma est, Nix, rosa, fumus, ventus et aura, nihil.

A brittle gem, bubble, is beauty pale, A rose, dew, snow, smoke, wind, air, nought at all.

If she be fair, as the saying is, she is commonly a fool: if proud, scornful, sequiturque superbia formam, or dishonest, rara est concordia formae, atque pudicitiae, can she be fair and honest too? [5732] Aristo, the son of Agasicles, married a Spartan lass, the fairest lady in all Greece next to Helen, but for her conditions the most abominable and beastly creature of the world. So that I would wish thee to respect, with [5733]Seneca, not her person but qualities. Will you say that's a good blade which hath a gilded scabbard, embroidered with gold and jewels? No, but that which hath a good edge and point, well tempered metal, able to resist. This beauty is of the body alone, and what is that, but as [5734] Gregory Nazianzen telleth us, a mock of time and sickness? or as Boethius, [5735]as mutable as a flower, and 'tis not nature so makes us, but most part the infirmity of the beholder. For ask another, he sees no such matter: Dic mihi per gratias quails tibi videtur, I pray thee tell me how thou likest my sweetheart, as she asked her sister in Aristenaetus, [5736]whom I so much admire, methinks he is the sweetest gentleman, the properest man that ever I saw: but I am in love, I confess (nec pudet fateri) and cannot therefore well judge. But be she fair indeed, golden-haired, as Anacreon his Bathillus, (to examine particulars) she have [5737]Flammeolos oculos, collaque lacteola, a pure sanguine complexion, little mouth, coral lips, white teeth, soft and plump neck, body, hands, feet, all fair and lovely to behold, composed of all graces, elegances, an absolute piece, [5738]Lumina sint Melitae Junonia, dextra Minervae, Mamillae Veneris, sura maris dominae, &c.

Let [5739]her head be from Prague, paps out of Austria, belly from France, back from Brabant, hands out of England, feet from Rhine, buttocks from Switzerland, let her have the Spanish gait, the Venetian tire, Italian compliment and endowments: [5740]Candida sideriis ardescant lumina flammis, Sudent colla rosas, et cedat crinibus aurum, Mellea purpurem depromant ora ruborem; Fulgeat, ac Venerem coelesti corpore vincat, Forma dearum omnis, &c.

Let her be such a one throughout, as Lucian deciphers in his Imagines, as Euphranor of old painted Venus, Aristaenetus describes Lais, another Helena, Chariclea, Leucippe, Lucretia, Pandora; let her have a box of beauty to repair herself still, such a one as Venus gave Phaon, when he carried her over the ford; let her use all helps art and nature can yield; be like her, and her, and whom thou wilt, or all these in one; a little sickness, a fever, small-pox, wound, scar, loss of an eye, or limb, a violent passion, a distemperature of heat or cold, mars all in an instant, disfigures all; child-bearing, old age, that tyrant time will turn Venus to Erinnys; raging time, care, rivels her upon a sudden; after she hath been married a small while, and the black ox hath trodden on her toe, she will be so much altered, and wax out of favour, thou wilt not know her. One grows to fat, another too lean, &c., modest Matilda, pretty pleasing Peg, sweet-singing Susan, mincing merry Moll, dainty dancing Doll, neat Nancy, jolly Joan, nimble Nell, kissing Kate, bouncing Bess, with black eyes, fair Phyllis, with fine white hands, fiddling Frank, tall Tib, slender Sib, &c., will quickly lose their grace, grow fulsome, stale, sad, heavy, dull, sour, and all at last out of fashion. Ubi jam vultus argutia, suavis suavitatio, blandus, risus, &c. Those fair sparkling eyes will look dull, her soft coral lips will be pale, dry, cold, rough, and blue, her skin rugged, that soft and tender superficies will be hard and harsh, her whole complexion change in a moment, and as [5741]Matilda writ to King John. I am not now as when thou saw'st me last, That favour soon is vanished and past; That rosy blush lapt in a lily vale, Now is with morphew overgrown and pale.

'Tis so in the rest, their beauty fades as a tree in winter, which Dejanira hath elegantly expressed in the poet, [5742]Deforme solis aspicis truncis nemus? Sic nostra longum forma percurrens iter, Deperdit aliquid semper, et fulget minus, Malisque minus est quiquid in nobis fuit, Olim petitum cecidit, et partu labat, Maturque multum rapuit ex illa mihi, Aetas citato senior eripuit gradu.

And as a tree that in the green wood grows, With fruit and leaves, and in the summer blows, In winter like a stock deformed shows: Our beauty takes his race and journey goes, And doth decrease, and lose, and come to nought, Admir'd of old, to this by child-birth brought: And mother hath bereft me of my grace, And crooked old age coining on apace.

To conclude with Chrysostom, [5743]When thou seest a fair and beautiful person, a brave Bonaroba, a bella donna, quae salivam moveat, lepidam puellam et quam tu facile ames, a comely woman, having bright eyes, a merry countenance, a shining lustre in her look, a pleasant grace, wringing thy soul, and increasing thy concupiscence; bethink with thyself that it is but earth thou lovest, a mere excrement, which so vexeth thee, which thou so admirest, and thy raging soul will be at rest. Take her skin from her face, and thou shalt see all loathsomeness under it, that beauty is a superficial skin and bones, nerves, sinews: suppose her sick, now rivelled, hoary-headed, hollow-cheeked, old; within she is full of filthy phlegm, stinking, putrid, excremental stuff: snot and snivel in her nostrils, spittle in her mouth, water in her eyes, what filth in her brains, &c. Or take her at best, and look narrowly upon her in the light, stand near her, nearer yet, thou shalt perceive almost as much, and love less, as [5744] Cardan well writes, minus amant qui acute vident, though Scaliger deride him for it: if he see her near, or look exactly at such a posture, whosoever he is, according to the true rules of symmetry and proportion, those I mean of Albertus Durer, Lomatius and Tasnier, examine him of her. If he be elegans formarum spectator he shall find many faults in physiognomy, and ill colour: if form, one side of the face likely bigger than the other, or crooked nose, bad eyes, prominent veins, concavities about the eyes, wrinkles, pimples, red streaks, freckles, hairs, warts, neves, inequalities, roughness, scabredity, paleness, yellowness, and as many colours as are in a turkeycock's neck, many indecorums in their other parts; est quod desideres, est quod amputes, one leers, another frowns, a third gapes, squints, &c. And 'tis true that he saith, [5745]Diligenter consideranti raro facies absoluta, et quae vitio caret, seldom shall you find an absolute face without fault, as I have often observed; not in the face alone is this defect or disproportion to be found; but in all the other parts, of body and mind; she is fair, indeed, but foolish; pretty, comely, and decent, of a majestical presence, but peradventure, imperious, dishonest, acerba, iniqua, self-willed: she is rich, but deformed; hath a sweet face, but bad carriage, no bringing up, a rude and wanton flirt; a neat body she hath, but it is a nasty quean otherwise, a very slut, of a bad kind. As flowers in a garden have colour some, but no smell, others have a fragrant smell, but are unseemly to the eye; one is unsavoury to the taste as rue, as bitter as wormwood, and yet a most medicinal cordial flower, most acceptable to the stomach; so are men and women; one is well qualified, but of ill proportion, poor and base: a good eye she hath, but a bad hand and foot, foeda pedes et foeda manus, a fine leg, bad teeth, a vast body, &c. Examine all parts of body and mind, I advise thee to inquire of all. See her angry, merry, laugh, weep, hot, cold, sick, sullen, dressed, undressed, in all attires, sites, gestures, passions, eat her meals, &c., and in some of these you will surely dislike. Yea, not her only let him observe, but her parents how they carry themselves: for what deformities, defects, encumbrances of body or mind be in them at such an age, they will likely be subject to, be molested in like manner, they will patrizare or matrizare. And withal let him take notice of her companions, in convictu (as Quiverra prescribes), et quibuscum conversetur, whom she converseth with. Noscitur ex comite, qui non cognoscitur ex se. [5746]According to Thucydides, she is commonly the best, de quo minimus foras habetur sermo, that is least talked of abroad. For if she be a noted reveller, a gadder, a singer, a pranker or dancer, than take heed of her. For what saith Theocritus? [5747]At vos festivae ne ne saltate puellae, En malus hireus adest in vos saltare paratus.

Young men will do it when they come to it. Fauns and satyrs will certainly play reaks, when they come in such wanton Baccho's or Elenora's presence. Now when they shall perceive any such obliquity, indecency, disproportion, deformity, bad conditions, &c., let them still ruminate on that, and as [5748]Haedus adviseth out of Ovid, earum mendas notent, note their faults, vices, errors, and think of their imperfections; 'tis the next way to divert and mitigate love's furious headstrong passions; as a peacock's feet, and filthy comb, they say, make him forget his fine feathers, and pride of his tail; she is lovely, fair, well-favoured, well qualified, courteous and kind, but if she be not so to me, what care I how kind she be? I say with [5749]Philostratus, formosa aliis, mihi superba, she is a tyrant to me, and so let her go. Besides these outward neves or open faults, errors, there be many inward infirmities, secret, some private (which I will omit), and some more common to the sex, sullen fits, evil qualities, filthy diseases, in this case fit to be considered; consideratio foeditatis mulierum, menstruae imprimis, quam immundae sunt, quam Savanarola proponit regula septima penitus observandam; et Platina dial. amoris fuse perstringit. Lodovicus Bonacsialus, mulieb. lib. 2. cap. 2. Pet. Haedus, Albertus, et infiniti fere medici. [5750]A lover, in Calcagninus's Apologies, wished with all his heart he were his mistress's ring, to hear, embrace, see, and do I know not what: O thou fool, quoth the ring, if thou wer'st in my room, thou shouldst hear, observe, and see pudenda et poenitenda, that which would make thee loathe and hate her, yea, peradventure, all women for her sake. I will say nothing of the vices of their minds, their pride, envy, inconstancy, weakness, malice, selfwill, lightness, insatiable lust, jealousy, Ecclus. v. 14. No malice to a woman's, no bitterness like to hers, Eccles. vii. 21. and as the same author urgeth, Prov. xxxi. 10. Who shall find a virtuous woman? He makes a question of it. Neque jus neque bonum, neque aequum sciunt, melius pejus, prosit, obsit, nihil vident, nisi quod libido suggerit. They know neither good nor bad, be it better or worse (as the comical poet hath it), beneficial or hurtful, they will do what they list. [5751]Insidiae humani generis, querimonia vitae, Exuviae noctis, durissima cura diei, Poena virum, nex et juvenum, &c.———

And to that purpose were they first made, as Jupiter insinuates in the [5752]poet; The fire that bold Prometheus stole from me, With plagues call'd women shall revenged be, On whose alluring and enticing face, Poor mortals doting shall their death embrace.

In fine, as Diogenes concludes in Nevisanus, Nulla est faemina quae non habeat quid: they have all their faults. [5753]Every each of them hath some vices, If one be full of villainy, Another hath a liquorish eye, If one be full of wantonness, Another is a chideress.

When Leander was drowned, the inhabitants of Sestos consecrated Hero's lantern to Anteros, Anteroti sacrum, [5754]and he that had good success in his love should light the candle: but never any man was found to light it; which I can refer to nought, but the inconstancy and lightness of women. [5755]For in a thousand, good there is not one; All be so proud, unthankful, and unkind, With flinty hearts, careless of other's moan. In their own lusts carried most headlong blind, But more herein to speak I am forbidden; Sometimes for speaking truth one may be chidden.

I am not willing, you see, to prosecute the cause against them, and therefore take heed you mistake me not, [5756]matronam nullam ego tango, I honour the sex, with all good men, and as I ought to do, rather than displease them, I will voluntarily take the oath which Mercurius Britannicus took, Viragin. descript. tib. 2. fol. 95. Me nihil unquam mali nobilissimo sexui, vel verbo, vel facto machinaturum, &c., let Simonides, Mantuan, Platina, Pet. Aretine, and such women-haters bare the blame, if aught be said amiss; I have not writ a tenth of that which might be urged out of them and others; [5757]non possunt invectivae omnes, et satirae in foeminas scriptae, uno volumine comprehendi. And that which I have said (to speak truth) no more concerns them than men, though women be more frequently named in this tract; (to apologise once for all) I am neither partial against them, or therefore bitter; what is said of the one, mutato nomine, may most part be understood of the other. My words are like Passus' picture in [5758]Lucian, of whom, when a good fellow had bespoke a horse to be painted with his heels upwards, tumbling on his back, he made him passant: now when the fellow came for his piece, he was very angry, and said, it was quite opposite to his mind; but Passus instantly turned the picture upside down, showed him the horse at that site which he requested, and so gave him satisfaction. If any man take exception at my words, let him alter the name, read him for her, and 'tis all one in effect. But to my purpose: If women in general be so bad (and men worse than they) what a hazard is it to marry? where shall a man find a good wife, or a woman a good husband? A woman a man may eschew, but not a wife: wedding is undoing (some say) marrying marring, wooing woeing: [5759]a wife is a fever hectic, as Scaliger calls her, and not be cured but by death, as out of Menander, Athenaeus adds, In pelaprus te jacis negotiorum,— Non Libyum, non Aegeum, ubi ex triginta non pereunt Tria navigia: duceus uxorem servatur prorsus nemo.

Thou wadest into a sea itself of woes; In Libya and Aegean each man knows Of thirty not three ships are cast away, But on this rock not one escapes, I say.

The worldly cares, miseries, discontents, that accompany marriage, I pray you learn of them that have experience, for I have none; [5760] παίδας ἐγὸ λόγους ἐγενσάμην, libri mentis liberi. For my