Part 5
Thank you! That phrase-book is a capital idea, Miss Bennet. Nothing could please me better than just such an occupation. It would really be a charity, for Darcy is such a dull fellow these days that I really don't know what to do with myself.
ELIZABETH.
But we should hardly have the time for such a project. You say that you and Mr. Darcy are to leave Lady Catherine on Saturday.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
Yes, if Darcy doesn't put it off again. He has already paid our aunt a much longer visit than ever before. I am at his disposal, you know. He arranges the business just as he pleases.
ELIZABETH.
I do not know anybody who seems more to enjoy the power of doing what he pleases than Mr. Darcy.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
He likes to have his own way very well, but so do we all. It is only that he has better means of having it than many others. [_Looking at his watch._] I suppose I ought to go and look for him now. I expected to find him here, [_With a meaning smile._] as not unfrequently happens. But since he is not, he probably expects me to meet him at the Crossroads.
ELIZABETH.
I imagine your cousin brought you down with him chiefly for the sake of having somebody at his disposal. I wonder he does not marry to secure a lasting convenience of that kind. But perhaps his sister does as well for the present,--and, as she is under his sole care, he may do what he likes with her.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
No--that is an advantage which he must share with me. I am joined with him in the guardianship of Miss Darcy.
ELIZABETH.
Are you, indeed? And pray what sort of a guardian do you make? Does your charge give you much trouble? Young ladies of her age are sometimes a little difficult to manage. And, if she has the true Darcy spirit, she may like to have her own way.
[COLONEL FITZWILLIAM _looks at_ ELIZABETH _very suspiciously as she makes this last remark_.]
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
Why--what?--Why do you suppose Miss Darcy is likely to give us any uneasiness, Miss Bennet?
ELIZABETH.
[_Carelessly._] Oh, nothing at all! You need not be frightened! I never heard any harm of her; she is a great favourite with a lady of my acquaintance--Miss Bingley. I think I have heard you say that you knew Miss Bingley.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
I know her a little. Her brother is a pleasant, gentlemanlike man. He is a great friend of Darcy's.
ELIZABETH.
Oh, yes. Mr. Darcy is uncommonly kind to Mr. Bingley and takes a prodigious deal of care of him.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
Care of him? Yes, I really believe Darcy does take care of him. From something he has told me, I have reason to think Bingley very much indebted to him. [_Stopping._] But I ought to beg his pardon, for I have no right to suppose that Bingley was the person meant.
ELIZABETH.
[_Curiously, and with ill-concealed anxiety._] What is it you mean?
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
It is a circumstance which, of course, Darcy could not wish to be generally known, because if it were to get round to the lady's family it would be an unpleasant thing.
ELIZABETH.
You may depend upon my not mentioning it.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
And, remember, that I haven't much reason for supposing it to be Bingley. What he told me was merely this: that he congratulated himself on having lately saved a friend from the inconveniences of a most imprudent marriage, but without names or any other particulars, and I only suspected it to be Bingley from believing him to be the kind of young man to get into a scrape of that sort.
ELIZABETH.
[_Trying to suppress her feeling._] Did Mr. Darcy give you his reasons for this interference?
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
I understood that there were some very strong objections against the lady.
ELIZABETH.
Indeed! [_Trying to speak calmly._] And what arts did he use to separate them?
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
[_Smiling._] He did not talk to me of his own arts. He only told _me_, what I have now told _you_.
ELIZABETH.
Why was your cousin to be the judge?
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
You are rather disposed to call his interference officious?
ELIZABETH.
[_Growing excited._] I do not see what right Mr. Darcy had to decide on the propriety of his friend's inclination; why, upon his _own_ judgment alone, Mr. Darcy was to determine in what manner his friend was to be happy. [_Recovering herself._] But as we know none of the particulars, it is not fair to condemn him. It is not to be supposed that there was much affection in the case.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
That is not an unnatural surmise, and I believe Darcy told me that he did not think that the lady, at least, was very deeply concerned in the matter. However, to lessen the affection on either side is to lessen the honour of my cousin's triumph very sadly.
ELIZABETH.
Your cousin's triumph----
[_Greatly excited, she is about to continue, when_ CHARLOTTE'S _voice is heard outside_.]
CHARLOTTE.
Yes, Mr. Darcy, I think I saw Colonel Fitzwilliam go up the garden path a few moments ago. [_Protesting._] Oh, no, Mr. Darcy, you are too kind! Really----
DARCY.
[_Outside._] Pray, allow me.
[CHARLOTTE _enters, accompanied by_ DARCY, _who is carrying a basket of eggs. She wears a garden hat and gloves._]
CHARLOTTE.
Ah, here he is. Good morning, Colonel Fitzwilliam. [_To_ DARCY.] Pray let me have the basket now, Mr. Darcy. [DARCY _gives_ CHARLOTTE _the basket, and then turns to_ ELIZABETH.]
DARCY.
Good morning, Miss Bennet. [ELIZABETH _returns_ DARCY'S _greeting with a self-consciousness which does not escape his notice, but the motive of which he mistakes_. DARCY _gives a quick glance from_ ELIZABETH _to_ COLONEL FITZWILLIAM, _as he turns to speak to the latter_.] Ah, Fitzwilliam, I thought I might find you here.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
[_Lightly._] Yes, I have been so fortunate as to secure some of Mrs. Collins's early roses for Miss Bennet.
CHARLOTTE.
[_In surprise._] Really! Have they already opened?
ELIZABETH.
[_Who has by this time recovered her self-possession._] A very few of them. But Colonel Fitzwilliam was obliged to climb very near to the sun to get me these. [_She looks admiringly upon the flowers as she speaks._]
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
[_Showing the rose which_ ELIZABETH _has given him_.]
And you see I have my reward.
DARCY.
[_Smiling faintly._] Colonel Fitzwilliam might not have won his prize so easily, Miss Bennet, had there been others in the field.
ELIZABETH.
Ah, no, Mr. Darcy, I cannot lessen Colonel Fitzwilliam's achievement by admitting any such possibility.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
[_Gallantly._] Thank you, Miss Bennet!
[DARCY _turns away with an unconscious look of chagrin_.]
CHARLOTTE.
Well, surely, my roses will have to bloom their prettiest this season in return for all the attention they have received. [_To the young men._] Will not you be seated, gentlemen?
DARCY.
[_Tartly._] Thanks, no, Mrs. Collins; I merely stopped for Colonel Fitzwilliam; but perhaps his rose-gathering has caused him to abandon our project of taking a walk together this morning.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
By no means, Darcy, that pleasure has only been deferred.
DARCY.
Very good then. We will go at once, if Mrs. Collins and Miss Bennet will pardon me this hasty call.
CHARLOTTE.
Certainly, Mr. Darcy! [ELIZABETH _also, absent-mindedly, murmurs her assent, for which_ DARCY _lingers with vague uneasiness before departing with_ FITZWILLIAM. CHARLOTTE _looks at_ ELIZABETH _curiously, then calls to the little maid, who enters_.]
CHARLOTTE.
Martha--take these eggs to the pantry. Do not disturb them.
MARTHA.
Very well, ma'am.
[_She curtsies and goes out._]
CHARLOTTE.
[_Taking off her hat and gloves._] Now, Eliza, we must get to our work and have a comfortable chat. You have been here nearly two weeks and we really haven't had a good talk yet.
ELIZABETH.
[_Getting out her embroidery._] Yes, you promised me a quiet visit, Charlotte. But I find you are more lively here than we are at Longbourn.
[_The two ladies sit at the table with their embroidery._]
CHARLOTTE.
But how could I have anticipated the arrival here of two very attentive young gentlemen? [_Smiling at_ ELIZABETH.] It is really quite a surprising coincidence, or else Mr. Darcy has timed his visit to his aunt very cleverly. As to these daily visits to the parsonage--you may be sure I do not take to myself the credit of them. Neither of these young gentlemen would ever come so often to see me. I have to thank you, Eliza, for this civility.
ELIZABETH.
[_With a little temper._] You may thank a lack of occupation on their part. You know very well my opinion of Mr. Darcy!
CHARLOTTE.
Yes. You have often expressed it. I wish I were as well informed of Mr. Darcy's opinion of Eliza.
ELIZABETH.
When you know the one, you know the other. They are identical.
CHARLOTTE.
Well, perhaps under the circumstances, that is the most satisfactory condition of things. And do we hold the same opinion of Colonel Fitzwilliam?
ELIZABETH.
[_Tossing her head._] Oh, Colonel Fitzwilliam!
CHARLOTTE.
[_Looking at_ ELIZABETH _sharply, and after a short silence_.] And so Jane is once more at home after her visit in London, and Lydia has gone to Brighton after all. How did she ever manage to persuade your father?
ELIZABETH.
Oh, Lydia was so determined upon it that she and mamma gave my father no peace till they had teased him to consent. But I am very sorry. Lydia is too foolish, too ignorant and wilful to be trusted away from home. I only hope that no harm will come of it.
CHARLOTTE.
And is Mr. Wickham still with the regiment?
ELIZABETH.
Yes, he went with it to Brighton.
CHARLOTTE.
I hear that he is thinking of marrying Miss King, since she has just received a legacy of ten thousand pounds. I should be sorry to think that our friend was mercenary.
ELIZABETH.
A man in distressed circumstances has not time for all those elegant decorums which other people may observe. If Miss King does not object to it, why should we?
CHARLOTTE.
_Her_ not objecting does not justify--him.
ELIZABETH.
[_Emphatically._] Well, have it as you choose. _He_ shall be mercenary, and _she_ shall be foolish! Mr. Wickham's worst fault, after all, is his power of being agreeable. Thank heaven, we both of us know some men who haven't one agreeable quality. Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing!
CHARLOTTE.
[_Smiling._] Well, well, Eliza! That speech savours a little of--disappointment.
ELIZABETH.
Oh, yes--anything you please!
CHARLOTTE.
[_Changing the subject._] And you say that Jane is not in her usual spirits?
ELIZABETH.
[_Shortly._] Yes.
CHARLOTTE.
And she is looking poorly?
ELIZABETH.
[_Still more shortly._] Yes--very!
CHARLOTTE.
Did she see much of the Bingleys in London?
ELIZABETH.
[_Bursting out hotly._] She saw nothing of them. Oh, Charlotte, I have just had all my suspicions verified.
CHARLOTTE.
Your suspicions?
ELIZABETH.
Yes, there has been an arrangement in all this. Mr. Bingley has been kept away from Jane by---- [_Stops suddenly._]
CHARLOTTE.
[_Looks up curiously, then speaks quickly._] Don't imagine any such nonsense, Eliza. A young man like Mr. Bingley so easily falls in love with a pretty girl for a few weeks--and, when accident separates them, so easily forgets her, that this sort of inconstancy is very frequent.
ELIZABETH.
We do not suffer from accident, Charlotte. A young man of independent fortune does not suddenly decide of his own free will to think no more of a girl with whom he was violently in love.
CHARLOTTE.
But were they so violently in love?
ELIZABETH.
Yes--I never saw a more promising inclination. Why, Mr. Bingley would talk to no one else--would look at no one else. Is not general incivility the very essence of love?
CHARLOTTE.
[_Smiling._] It is usually a good test. But if Jane did not return his affection---- It really did not seem to me that there was anything _violent_ in Jane's attitude. I could never see that she showed any extreme affection for Bingley.
ELIZABETH.
[_Hotly._] Well, I know that Jane was very much in love with him, and that she showed her affection as much as her nature would allow. If Bingley didn't see it he must have been a simpleton. No--the real trouble was that Jane didn't see him often enough, perhaps, to make her understand his character.
CHARLOTTE.
Oh, if Jane were married to Bingley to-morrow, I should think she had as good a chance of happiness as if she were studying him for a twelve-month. It is far better to know as little as possible of the person with whom you are to pass your life.
ELIZABETH.
[_Demurely._] In some cases that is undoubtedly true.
MR. COLLINS.
[_Appears at the garden door. He wears a wide-brimmed hat and carries a hoe--also a large basket. He looks in._] Ah! A very charming domestic picture! [_Taking a bunch of radishes from the basket, he speaks to_ CHARLOTTE.] My dear, I have found some fine early radishes. I thought it would be a graceful attention on your part to send some of these to Miss de Bourg. [_He sits upon the chair near the doorway._]
CHARLOTTE.
I fear the apothecary might object.
MR. COLLINS.
True--they might not be suitable, but [_Looking at them proudly._] they are very fine radishes. [_To_ ELIZABETH.] Miss Elizabeth, I am very successful in my gardening. I consider the work I do in my garden to be one of my most respectable pleasures. Lady Catherine is always ready to encourage me in it, and my dear Charlotte is ever willing that I should leave her side for the sake of this healthful exercise. [_Looking at the radishes again._] It is, indeed, a pity that Miss de Bourg is not well enough to enjoy them. My dear Charlotte has doubtless told you, Miss Elizabeth, of the alliance which is in prospect between Miss de Bourg and Mr. Darcy. This extreme delicacy of constitution would seem to be the only bar to their happiness.
ELIZABETH.
Yes, Charlotte has told me that Miss de Bourg is sickly. She will make Mr. Darcy a very proper wife.
[CHARLOTTE _looks anxiously at_ MR. COLLINS _as_ ELIZABETH _says this, but he is gazing out of the door and does not seem to notice the remark_.]
MR. COLLINS.
I hope you are pleased with Kent, Miss Elizabeth.
ELIZABETH.
Very much, Mr. Collins.
MR. COLLINS.
I do not think the kingdom can boast a grander scene than the one now spread before our eyes: [_Pointing._] This garden--that park with Rosings in the distance. Do not you think my dear Charlotte is most fortunately placed, Miss Elizabeth?
ELIZABETH.
Most fortunately, Mr. Collins.
MR. COLLINS.
And when you have seen Lady Catherine, you will be more deeply impressed, I am sure. We can hardly expect her to call upon you. This illness of Miss de Bourg would prevent it, and in any case it would be an act of extreme condescension on her part; but I am quite confident that you will receive an invitation to drink tea of a Sunday evening with her, after Mr. Darcy and his cousin are gone, of course. And--we may later have an invitation to dinner--although I would not for the world arouse in you false hopes which may be shattered.
MARTHA.
[_Enters in great excitement._] Oh, Mrs. Collins! Lady Catherine's carriage is turning into the lane and _she_ is in it!
MR. COLLINS.
[_Rising in great excitement_.] Lady Catherine--at this hour! What amazing condescension! [_He turns in a helpless manner to_ CHARLOTTE.] But, my dear, I am quite unprepared. My habiliments--I would not be wanting in respect.--What shall I do?
CHARLOTTE.
[_Hurriedly putting up her work and giving her hat and gloves to the maid._] Go make yourself ready, Mr. Collins. We will do the same. [CHARLOTTE _pushes_ MR. COLLINS _gently toward the door_.]
MR. COLLINS.
[_Protesting._] Yes--yes! But this implement----
[_He holds out the hoe._]
CHARLOTTE.
Give it to Martha!
[MR. COLLINS _hastily gives the hoe to the maid and then goes out. He instantly returns, however, and again appeals in distressed tones to his wife_.]
MR. COLLINS.
[_Holding out the basket._] And these radishes, my dear?
CHARLOTTE.
Martha, take the radishes from Mr. Collins.
MARTHA.
Yes, ma'am.
[_The maid tries to hold at once--basket, hoe, hat, and gloves, as she stands in a corner, open-mouthed._]
MR. COLLINS.
[_Again emerging from the door._] Do not make yourself uneasy about your own apparel, Miss Elizabeth; Lady Catherine is far from requiring that elegance in us which becomes herself and daughter--I----
CHARLOTTE.
[_Impatiently._] Oh, do go, Mr. Collins! Lady Catherine will be here in an instant!
[_She shuts the door on_ MR. COLLINS.]
ELIZABETH.
[_Greatly amused at all this excitement._] Are you going to make any change in your dress, Charlotte? Do you wish me to do so?
CHARLOTTE.
Well, Eliza, if you wouldn't mind, I should like you to put on your sprigged muslin. In spite of what Mr. Collins says, I know it would please him. I have no time to change. Is my cap straight? Oh, here she is. [_To the maid, who stands staring, with her arms full._] Why, Martha! Are you still there? Go! Go! [_She bustles the maid out of one door, then runs to the other, calling her husband._] Mr. Collins! Mr. Collins!
[_She then rushes into the garden, followed immediately by_ MR. COLLINS _in the same state of excitement_. ELIZABETH, _as she looks after them, is convulsed with laughter_.]
ELIZABETH.
So, at last--her high and only mightiness! No tremors, Elizabeth! Now is the time for all your courage. [_She runs laughing out of the room._]
[_Sounds of voices are heard, and_ LADY CATHERINE _appears escorted up the path by_ CHARLOTTE _and_ COLLINS.]
LADY CATHERINE.
[_As she reaches the door._] You keep too many hens, Mrs. Collins. There is just a certain number which are profitable--beyond that there is waste. [LADY CATHERINE _sits on the sofa_.] A clergyman's wife should set an example of thrift. You should have asked my advice.
MR. COLLINS.
Mrs. Collins will in the future regulate her poultry-yard according to your directions, Lady Catherine, if you will be so condescending as to give them.
CHARLOTTE.
Yes, thank you, Lady Catherine.
MR. COLLINS.
Will your Ladyship not take some refreshment?
CHARLOTTE.
Oh, yes--let me fetch you a cup of tea?
LADY CATHERINE.
No, no--I wish nothing. [_To_ MR. COLLINS.] But you may go, Mr. Collins, and see if Jones is walking the horses up and down. I do not trust Jones.
MR. COLLINS.
With great pleasure, your Ladyship. [MR. COLLINS _goes out_.]
LADY CATHERINE.
[_To_ CHARLOTTE.] I thought you had a visitor, Mrs. Collins.
CHARLOTTE.
Yes, your Ladyship--I have. It is my friend, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She is a cousin of Mr. Collins and a neighbour of ours in Hertfordshire.
LADY CATHERINE.
I have heard about her. Fitzwilliam says she is a very genteel, pretty kind of girl.
CHARLOTTE.
[_Pleased._] Indeed she is, Lady Catherine.
LADY CATHERINE.
Well, where is she?
CHARLOTTE.
She has gone to make a little change in her dress, before presenting herself to your Ladyship.
LADY CATHERINE.
Oh! very proper--very proper!
CHARLOTTE.
I am delighted to hear that Miss de Bourg is better, Lady Catherine.
LADY CATHERINE.
Yes, thank you. She is very greatly improved. [_After a slight pause, with impatience_.] Well, Miss Bennet takes her time!
CHARLOTTE.
[_Anxiously._] I am sure she will be here in a moment. [ELIZABETH _enters_.] Oh, here she is. [_Presenting_ ELIZABETH.] Lady Catherine, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. [ELIZABETH _curtsies_.]
LADY CATHERINE.
[_Without leaving her seat, looks_ ELIZABETH _over from head to foot_.] Oh, how do you do, Miss Bennet. You are younger than I thought!
ELIZABETH.
[_Smiling._] Indeed?
LADY CATHERINE.
You know my nephew, Mr. Darcy?
ELIZABETH.
Yes, I met him in Hertfordshire.
LADY CATHERINE.
Humph! And you know Colonel Fitzwilliam?
ELIZABETH.
I have only met Colonel Fitzwilliam since coming here.
LADY CATHERINE.
Humph! Has your governess left you?
ELIZABETH.
[_Half laughs._] My sisters and I have never had a governess, Madam.
LADY CATHERINE.
No governess! I never heard of such a thing! Your mother must have been quite a slave to your education.
ELIZABETH.
[_Smiling._] I assure you she was not, Lady Catherine.
LADY CATHERINE.
Then who taught you? Without a governess you must have been neglected.
ELIZABETH.
Such of us as wished to learn, never wanted the means, Madam.
LADY CATHERINE.
Well, if I had known your mother, I should have advised her most strenuously to engage a governess. I should have seen to it myself. [_To_ CHARLOTTE.] Go on with your work, Mrs. Collins. A clergyman's wife should set an example of industry. [_Looking at_ CHARLOTTE'S _embroidery with disapproval_.] I will send you some more of the parish petticoats to hem, Mrs. Collins. [_To_ ELIZABETH.] Go on with your work, Miss Bennet. Young ladies should never be idle. [_Both_ ELIZABETH _and_ CHARLOTTE _go on with their embroidery. Looking hard at_ ELIZABETH.] Pray what is your age, Miss Bennet?
ELIZABETH.
I am not one and twenty.
LADY CATHERINE.
You have sisters, have not you?
ELIZABETH.
Yes, Madam.
LADY CATHERINE.
Are any of them out?
ELIZABETH.
All, Madam.
LADY CATHERINE.
What! All out at once? Very odd! Out before the oldest is married!
ELIZABETH.
Really, Madam, I think it would be very hard on the younger sisters not to have their share of society because the eldest one does not happen to be married. That would hardly be likely to promote sisterly affection, or delicacy of mind.
LADY CATHERINE.
Upon my word, you give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person! Your sisters may be married before you. You must not be too ambitious. A good many young girls have lost their chances through being too ambitious. [_Looking at a large picture on the wall and then pointing to it._] Mrs. Collins, I suppose you have shown Miss Bennet this print of Pemberley--Mr. Darcy's place?
CHARLOTTE.
Yes, Lady Catherine.
LADY CATHERINE.
[_Complacently._] Pemberley is one of the finest places in England. My daughter Anne is very fond of it, which is fortunate, since she will probably spend the most of her life there.
CHARLOTTE.
Most fortunate, your Ladyship.
LADY CATHERINE.
[_To_ ELIZABETH.] You see my nephews here often, Miss Bennet?
ELIZABETH.
[_Mischievously._] Yes, _very_ often, Lady Catherine.
LADY CATHERINE.
Humph! Well, idle young gentlemen often make very foolish use of their time. My daughter, Miss de Bourg, is unfortunately not able to accompany Mr. Darcy in his walks as often as both of them could desire.
MR. COLLINS.
[_Entering._] I think your Ladyship's mind may be quite at rest about the horses. Jones seems to have them well in hand.
LADY CATHERINE.
Oh, I am glad you have come back, Mr. Collins. I am going to ask you and Mrs. Collins to go and see the new cottages with me. I shall take you in the carriage. [_To_ CHARLOTTE.] You had better put on a plain bonnet, Mrs. Collins.
CHARLOTTE.
By all means, your Ladyship. [_She goes out._]
LADY CATHERINE.
Are you quite ready to go, Mr. Collins?
MR. COLLINS.
Oh--assuredly, your Ladyship--quite!
LADY CATHERINE.
[_To_ ELIZABETH.] Miss Bennet, I should advise you to write to your family while we are gone. [CHARLOTTE _returns in her bonnet and mantle_. LADY CATHERINE _looks her over_.] Yes, that will do very well!
CHARLOTTE.
[_To_ ELIZABETH.] We shall not be gone very long, Eliza.
LADY CATHERINE.
I am not sure of that, Mrs. Collins, but I have provided an occupation for Miss Bennet during our absence. Good morning, Miss Bennet. I may ask you later for dinner.
ELIZABETH.