Part 9

I carena whether the tod worry the goose, or the goose worry the tod.

I could hae done that mysel, but no sae weel.

I deny that wi' baith hands and a' my teeth.

Expressive of the most emphatic denial.

Idle dogs worry sheep.

Idle young, needy auld.

If a' be weel I'll be wyteless.

"Spoken with a suspicion that all will not be well, and if so, I have no hand in it."--_Kelly._

If a' bowls row right.

"Ye are right, Mr Owen--ye are right; ye speak weel and wisely; and I trust bowls will row right, though they are awee ajee e'enow."--_Rob Roy._

If ae sheep loup the dyke, a' the rest will follow.

If a gude man thrive, a' thrives wi' him.

If a lee could hae chokit you, ye wad hae been dead langsyne.

An indirect or jocular manner of intimating to a person that he is guilty of falsehood.

If a man's gaun down the brae ilka ane gies him a jundie.

"If" an' "an" spoil mony a gude charter.

If ane winna, anither will; sae are maidens married.

If ane winna, anither will--the morn's the market day.

If a' thing's true, _that's_ nae lee.

A saying expressive of unbelief of some improbable story.

If a' things were to be done twice, ilka ane wad be wise.

If a' your hums and haws were hams and haggises, the parish needna fear a dearth.

"To 'Hum and Haw,' to dally or trifle with one about any business by indefinite and unintelligible language."--_Jamieson._

If better were within better wad come out.

If Candlemas day be dry and fair, the half o' winter's to come and mair; if Candlemas day be wet and foul, the half o' winter's gane at Yule.

If e'er you mak a lucky puddin' I'll eat the prick.

"That is, I am much mistaken if ever you do good."--_Kelly._

If grass does grow in Janiveer, 'twill be the worse for't a' the year.

If he be na a souter, he's a gude shoe clouter.

If he cannot make new shoes well, he is very good at repairing old ones.

If he binds his pock she'll sit down on't.

"Spoken when a niggardly man is married on a more niggardly woman."--_Kelly._

If he gies a duck he expects a goose.

If I canna do't by might I can do't wi' slight.

If I canna keep my tongue I can keep my siller.

If I canna kep geese I can kep gaislins.

"If I cannot work my revenge upon the principal author of my injury, I will upon his children, relations, or friends."--_Kelly._

If I come I maun bring my stool wi' me.

For, as I am not properly invited, there will be no seat allotted to me.

If "ifs" an' "ans" were kettles an' pans there would be nae use for tinklers.

"Were it not for 'if' and 'but,' we should all be rich for ever."--_French._

If I had a dog as daft, I wad shoot him.

Signifying that mischievous or silly doings should be put a stop to.

If I had you at Maggy Mill's house, I would get word about wi' ye.

Used when, in argument or dispute, a man has not a proper opportunity to defend himself.

If I hae done amiss, I'll mak amends.

If I live anither year, I'll ca' this fern-year.

If I'm no kind I'm no cumbersome.

If it be a faut it's nae ferlie.

Or, it is no wonder, as any other result should not have been expected.

If it be ill it's as ill rused.

"Spoken of those who discommend what we have."--_Kelly._

If it can be nae better, it's weel it's nae waur.

If it sair me to wear, it may sair you to look at.

A pertinent reply to those who find fault with a person's dress.

If it werena for hope the heart would break.

If it werena for the belly the back wad wear gowd.

If it winna be a gude shoe we'll mak a bauchel o't.

If it winna sell it winna sour.

Meaning that an article is good, and will not spoil by keeping.

If marriages are made in heaven, you twa hae few friends there.

If ony body speir at ye, say ye dinna ken.

Meaning that a person is unwilling to give another some information.

"'Madge,' said Ratcliffe, 'have ye ony joes now?' 'An ony body ask ye, say ye dinna ken. Set him to be speaking of my joes, auld Daddie Ratton!'"--_Heart of Midlothian._

If she was my wife I would mak a queen o' her.

If strokes be gude to gie they'll be gude to tak.

If that God gie the deil daurna reive.

If the auld wife hadna been in the oven hersel, she ne'er wad hae thought o' looking for her dochter there.

That is, if a person had not been guilty of a particular crime himself, he would never have suspected another of it. Kelly inserts this proverb, but says it is English; and Henderson makes it the subject of an illustration.

If the badger leave his hole the tod will creep in.

If the deil be laird, ye'll be tenant.

If the deil find ye idle, he'll set ye to wark.

For "An idle brain is the devil's workshop."--_English._

If the deil were dead, folk would do little for God's sake.

If the laird slight the leddie his menyie will be ready.

_Menyie_--the servants or followers will be ready to follow the example.

If the lift fa' the laverocks will be smoored.

Literally, if the sky falls the larks will be smothered. Spoken when people are anticipating some very improbable occurrence.

If the mare has a bald face the filly will hae a blaze.

Equivalent to saying, that if the mother is of one complexion the child will be the opposite.

If this be a feast, I hae been at mony.

The inference is, that he is not pleased with the treatment he is receiving.

If we canna preach in the kirk, we can sing mass in the quire.

If we haena the warld's wealth, we hae the warld's ease.

If wishes were horses beggars wad ride, and a' the warld be drowned in pride.

If you be angry, claw your wame, an' cool i' the skin ye het in.

"Spoken to them whose anger we value not."--_Kelly._

If you be angry, sit laigh and mease you.

If ye be na gall'd ye needna fling.

Synonymous with the English saying, "If the cap fits, wear it."

If ye dinna haud him he'll do't a'.

Spoken of lazy people, meaning, that if not restrained they will do too much. Applied tauntingly of course.

If ye dinna like what I gie ye, tak what ye brought wi' ye.

If ye dinna see the bottom, dinna wade.

If you do not see your way clearly through an undertaking, do not venture on it at all.

If ye do nae ill, dinna be ill like: if ye steal na my kail, breakna my dike.

"He that would no evil do, must do nought that's like thereto."--_English._

If ye gang a year wi' a cripple, ye'll limp at the end o't.

For "Evil communications corrupt good manners."

If ye had as little money as ye hae manners, ye would be the poorest man o' a' your kin.

If ye'll blaw your ain whistle, ye maun uphaud the win'.

If you had been anither, I would hae denied you the first word.

Meaning that you are granted more indulgence than another would be if similarly situated.

If ye had stuck a knife in my heart it wadna hae bled.

He was so much surprised by some information.

If ye hae little gear ye hae less care.

If ye're nae better, ye're snoder like, quo' the wife, when she cut off the doggie's lugs.

If you laugh at your ain sport, the company will laugh at you.

If you lo'e me, let it kythe.

That is, if you love me let it appear.

If ye like the nut, crack it.

If ye sell your purse to your wife, gie her your breeks to the bargain.

"For if your wife command your purse, she will certainly have the mastery in everything else."--_Kelly._

If you spend muckle, put mair to the fore.

If you want your business weel done, do't yoursel.

If you win at that you'll lose at naething.

"Spoken to them that are about an ill thing, which will undoubtedly prove to their damage."--_Kelly._

"If you winna come you'll bide," quo' Rory to his bride.

It was a matter of perfect indifference whether Rory got her or not.

If you would be a merchant fine, beware o' auld horses, herring, and wine.

Because, proverbially speaking, the first will die, the second stink, and the third sour.

I gaed through the bear-land wi' him.

"This is a phrase used by a person who has gone through all the

## particulars of a quarrel with another, or told him all the grounds

of umbrage at his conduct."--_Jamieson._

I gied his birn a hitch.

Or, assisted him in a strait.

"Though he bans me, I wish him well, We'll maybe meet again; I'll gie his birn a hitch, an' help To ease him o' his pain."--_Poems in the Buchan Dialect._

I had but little butter, an' that I coost on the coals.

Said by a person who has been reduced either in circumstances, or in the possession of a particular article, signifying that even the little that was left had been allowed either by carelessness or accident to slip through his fingers.

I had nae mind that I was married, my bridal was sae feckless.

Meaning that a circumstance was of so little importance that no notice was taken of it.

I hae a gude bow, but it's i' the castle.

Satirically remarked of those who pretend that they could do great things if they had some article by them, but which they know very well is not near at hand.

I hae a Scotch tongue in my head--if they speak I'se answer.

I hae baith my meat and my mense.

I hae gi'en a stick to break my ain head.

Engaged in an undertaking which will be to my own disadvantage.

I hae gotten an ill kame for my ain hair.

I hae had better kail in my cog, and ne'er gae them a keytch.

"The return of a haughty maid to them that tell her of an unworthy suitor. It alludes to an art among the Scottish reapers, who, if their broth be too hot, can throw them up into the air, as they turn pancakes, without losing one drop of them."--_Kelly._

I hae ither fish to fry.

I hae ither tow on my rock.

That is, I have other work to do.

I hae mair dogs than I hae banes for.

I hae mair to do than a dish to wash.

That is, I have work of importance to do.

I hae muckle to do, and few to do for me.

I hae my back to the wa': if I dinna slip I'll no fa'.

A saying expressive of a feeling of confidence or security.

I hae seen as fu' a haggis toom'd on the midden.

Or as good an article thrown away. Applied disparagingly to any article in question.

I hae seen mair snaw on ae dike, than now on seven.

I hae seen mair than I hae eaten, else ye wadna be here.

A sharp retort to those who doubt a statement of which the narrator has had ocular demonstration.

I hae taen the sheaf frae the mare.

I hae the Bible, an' there's no a better book in a' your aught.

I hae tint the staff I herded wi'.

I have lost the support I depended upon.

I hae twa holes in my head, an' as mony windows.

"I hate 'bout gates," quo' the wife when she haurl'd her man through the ingle.

Meaning that she approves of straightforward conduct. Kelly says that the second part is "added only to make it comical."

I ken a spune frae a stot's horn.

"I had the honour to visit his late gracious Majesty, at his palace of Holyrood, where, I can assure you, I was as civilly entreated as the first in the land, not excluding the Lord Provost of Glasgow, tho' he and his tounfolk tried to put themselves desperately far forrit; but the king saw thro' them brawly, and kent a spoon frae a stot's horn as well as the maist of his liege subjects."--_Motherwell._

I ken by my cog how the cow's milk'd.

That is, I know by the appearance of a thing when it is properly done.

I ken by your half-tale what your hale tale means.

Having told me so much I can guess the rest. Applied to those who come to borrow money.

I ken him as weel as if I had gane through him wi' a lighted candle.

I ken how the warld wags: he's honour'd maist has moniest bags.

I ken your meaning by your mumping.

Ilka bean has its black.

"Ye hae had your ain time o't, Mr Syddall; but ilka bean has its black, and ilka path has its puddle; and it will just set you henceforth to sit at the board end, as weel as it did Andrew langsyne."--_Rob Roy._

Ilka bird maun hatch her ain egg.

Ilka blade o' grass keps it's ain drap o' dew.

Ilka corn has its shool.

Ilka dog has its day.

"'You have made a most excellent and useful purchase, Cuddie. But what is that portmanteau?' 'The pockmantle?' answered Cuddie: 'It was Lord Evandale's yesterday, and it's yours the day. I fand it ahint the bush o' broom yonder. Ilka dog has its day--ye ken what the auld sang says,

"'"Take turn about, mither," quo' Tam o' the Linn.'"--_Old Mortality._

Ilka land has its ain land-law.

"Jeannie Deans, writing from London to Reuben Butler, says,--'Ye will think I am turned waster, for I wear clean hose and shoon every day; but it's the fashion here for decent bodies, and ilka land has its ain land-law.'"--_Heart of Midlothian._

Ilka land has its ain leid.

"Leid," language.--_Jamieson._

Ilka man as he likes--I'm for the cook.

Ilka man buckles his belt his ain gate.

"'Oh but, sir, what seems reasonable to your honour will certainly be the same to them,' answered Jeanie. 'I do not know that,' replied the Duke; 'ilka man buckles his belt his ain gate--you know our old Scots proverb?'"--_Heart of Midlothian._

Ill bairns are aye best heard at hame.

I'll big nae sandy mills wi' you.

Or I will not join with you in any project.

Ill comes upon waur's back.

Parallel to the saying, "Misfortunes never come single." In this case it is more forcibly expressed, and means literally, a great misfortune is followed by a greater one.

Ill counsel will gar a man stick his ain mare.

I'll do as the man did when he sell't his land.

"That is, I will not do it again, for selling of an estate is a fault that few are twice guilty of."--_Kelly._

Ill doers are aye ill dreaders.

Ill flesh ne'er made gude broo.

Bad meat never made good soup; or, a bad man cannot be expected to do a good act.

I'll gar him draw his belt to his ribs.

Meaning that a person will be compelled to defend himself.

I'll gar his ain garters bind his ain hose.

"That is, what expense his business requires I will take it out of his own money."--_Kelly._

I'll gar ye blairt wi' baith your een.

I'll gar ye claw where its no yeuky.

"Ye bardy loon, gae but the house and mind your wark. Ye thought and they thought; but if it wasna mair for ae thing than anither, I hae a thought that wad gar baith you and them claw where it's no yeuky."--_Sir Andrew Wylie._

I'll gar you sing Port-youl.

That is, cry, weep:--

"I'll make them know they have no right to rule, And cause them shortly all sing up Port-yeull." --_Hamilton's Wallace._

I'll get a better fore-speaker than you for nought.

Ill getting het water frae 'neath cauld ice.

I'll gie ye a bane to pike that will haud your teeth gaun.

I will give you work to do which will keep you busy for a time.

I'll gie ye a sark fu' o' sair banes.

A shirtful of sore bones: _vulgariter_, a thrashing.

I'll gie ye let-a-bee for let-a-bee, like the bairns o' Kelty.

That is, he will give as good as he gets. "Let-a-bee for let-a-bee," generally speaking, is expressive of mutual forbearance; but the "bairns o' Kelty" reversed the usual meaning.

Ill got gear ne'er prospered.

I'll haud the grip I've got.

"'When ye hae gotten the better o' the sore stroke o' the sudden removal of the golden candlestick o' his life from among us, ye'll do everything in a rational and just manner.'

"''Deed, I'll do nae sic things, mother,' was the reply; 'I'm mindit to haud the grip I hae gotten.'"--_The Entail._

Ill hearing maks wrang rehearsing.

Ill herds mak fat tods.

I'll keep my mind to mysel, and tell my tale to the wind.

Ill laying up maks mony thieves.

Answered by people who are blamed for breach of confidence.

I'll learn you to lick, for suppin's dear.

Ill-less, gude-less, like the priests' holy water.

I'll mak a shift, as Macwhid did wi' the preachin'.

"Macwhid was a knowing countryman, and a great stickler for the king and the church. At the Restoration, clergymen being scarce, he was asked if he thought he could preach; he answered that he could make a shift; upon which he was ordained, and got a living."--_Kelly._

I'll mak the mantle meet for the man.

"That is, I'll pay you according as you serve me."--_Kelly._

I'll neither mak or mar, as the young cock said when he saw the auld cock's neck thrawn.

I'll ne'er brew drink to treat drinkers.

Applied to those who are slow to partake of anything which is offered to them, and signifying that although the article is good, still, if unwilling, they will not be "treated," _i.e._, urged or forced to take it.

I'll ne'er buy a blind bargain, or a pig in a pock.

I'll ne'er dirty the bannet I'm gaun to put on.

I'll ne'er keep a cow when I can get milk sae cheap.

I'll ne'er keep a dog and bark mysel.

To "keep a dog," &c., is to keep servants and do their work for them.

I'll ne'er lout sae laigh an' lift sae little.

That is, I will never put myself to so much trouble for such a small remuneration.

I'll ne'er put the rogue aboon the gentleman.

I'll no slip my dog afore the game's afoot.

I'll no tell a lee for scant o' news.

Ill payers are aye gude cravers.

I'll pay you, and put naething in your pouch.

Intimating that a person will give another a flogging.

I'll put daur ahint the door, and do't.

Or carry my threats into execution. Used when in a dispute one person "daurs" another to do such a thing.

I'll rather strive wi' the lang rigg than the ill neighbour.

Meaning that a person would rather conduct a large business himself than be troubled with a disagreeable partner.

Ill's the gout, an' waurs the gravel, but want o' wit maks mony a travel.

I'll say naething, but I'll yerk at the thinking.

He will keep his sorrows to himself, but the recollection of them will make him "yerk," _i.e._, writhe, or start with pain--applied in a mental sense.

I'll see the stars gang withershins first.

"Bid Iceshogels hammer red gauds on the studdy, And fair simmer mornings nae mair appear ruddy: Leave thee, leave thee, I'll never leave thee; The starns shall gang withershins ere I deceive thee." --_Tea-Table Miscellany._

I'll sell my lad, quo' Livistone; I'll buy't, quo' Balmaghie.

"If a man have a good pennyworth to sell, he will still find a buyer."--_Kelly._

I'll serve ye when ye hae least to do.

I'll take nae mair o' your counsel than I think fit.

I'll tak the best first, as the priest did o' the plooms.

I'll tell the bourd, but no the body.

That is, I will tell the jest or story, but cannot mention the name of the person to whom it refers.

Ill to tak and eith to tire.

Ill weeds wax weel.

A saying common to all nations. "Ill weeds grow apace."

Ill will ne'er spak weel.

Ill won gear winna enrich the third heir.

Ill won, ill wair'd.

Ill workers are aye gude onlookers.

I'm as auld as your auncient.

I maun do as the beggars do; when my wame's fu', gang awa.

Spoken jocularly when a person who has been partaking of a meal with another rises to go away.

"I'm but beginning yet," quo' the wife when she run wud.

I'm flytin' free wi' you.

That is, on terms of familiarity with you.

I'm forejidged, forefoughten, and forejeskit.

An alliterative saying of those who are very much fatigued.

I might bring a better speaker frae hame than you.

I'm neither sma' drink thirsty, nor grey bread hungry.

Spoken when a person is not so freely entertained as he would like to be. Applied generally by those who do not get what they expect, and are offended thereat.

I'm no every man's dog that whistles on me.

I'm no obliged to simmer and winter it to you.

I'm no sae blind as I'm blear-e'ed.

That is, I am not so blind as unwilling to see.

I'm no sae scant o' clean pipes as to blaw wi' a brunt cutty.

I'm no that fu', but I'm gayly yet.

I am not fully satisfied, though I am nearly so.

I'm ower auld a dog to learn new tricks.

I'm speaking o' hay and you o' horse corn.

That is, I am talking on one subject, while you are talking on another.

In a frost a nail is worth the horse.

Because it may save the horse from falling, and perhaps losing its life. A mere trifle may, at an opportune moment, be of very great service.

In a thousand pounds o' law there's no an ounce o' love.

Industry maks a braw man and breaks ill fortune.

I ne'er lo'ed meat that craw'd in my crappie.

Metaphorically, I do not like to interfere with matters which may injure me.

I ne'er lo'ed water in my shoon, and my wame's made o' better leather.

Spoken when a drink of water is offered to a person who is not so fond of it as he is of something stronger.

I ne'er sat on your coat-tail.

That is, I never interfered with or impeded your progress in any way.

In ower muckle clavering truth is tint.

_Anglice_, In too much gossiping truth is lost.

It comes to the hand like the bowl o' a pintstoup.

"It's been the gipsies that took your pockmanky, when they fand the chaise stickin' in the snaw; they wadna pass the like o' that: it wad just come to their hand like the bowl o' a pintstoup."--_Guy Mannering._

I prick'd nae louse since I darned your hose, and then I might hae prick'd a thousand.

Kelly attaches a meaningless remark to this proverb--"An answer of a tailor to him that calls him pricklouse." Is it not meant as a reply of one who may have been under the evil influence of another, and who, having shaken himself free of it, can say honestly that since he has done so he has been perfectly free, however much he may have been under it before?

It canna be worse that's no worth a tinkler's curse.