Part 6

In this way I continued with my third and poorest master, the esquire, for several succeeding days, always longing to know the reason of his coming and remaining in this place. For, from the first day that I took service with him, I saw that he was a stranger, from the little intercourse he had with the inhabitants. [Sidenote: The esquire tells his story to Lazaro.] At last I accomplished my desire, and came to know what I wanted. It was one day when we had eaten reasonably well, and were rather well satisfied. He told me about his affairs, and said that he came from Old Castille. He said he had left his home for no other reason than that he had not taken off his cap to a knight who was his neighbour. “Sir,” I said, “if that was what happened, and he was greater than you, were you not wrong in not having doffed your cap first? but he ought to have taken his off as well.” He went on to say that the knight did take off his cap to him; but that he had taken his off first so many times, that it was well to see what the other would do. “It seems to me, sir,” said I, “that you should have doffed to one greater and richer than yourself.” [Sidenote: The esquire expounds his views of honour to Lazaro.] “You are only a boy,” he replied, “and cannot understand the things appertaining to honour in which, at the present time, is all the wealth of respectable people. You must remember that I am, as you know, an esquire. I swear to God that if I met a count in the street and he did not salute me, I would not salute him if I met him again. I should enter some house as if I had business there, or turn down another street before he came near me. For a gentleman owes nothing to any one but God and the king; nor is it right for a man of honour to forego his self-respect. I remember that one day, in my country, I affronted and nearly came to blows with an officer, because whenever I saluted him he said, ‘May God preserve your honour!’ ‘You are a wretch,’ I said, ‘for you are not well bred. You said to me “God preserve you,” as if I was nobody.’ From that time he took off his cap, and behaved properly.” [Sidenote: The esquire continues to discourse on the same subject.] “Is it not good manners for one man to salute another,” I asked, “or to say ‘God preserve you’?” He answered, “It is only underbred people who talk thus. To gentlemen like myself, it should be not less than ‘I kiss the hands of your honour!’ or at the very least, ‘I kiss your hand, sir!’ if he who speaks is a knight. In my own land I would not suffer a mere ‘God preserve you,’ nor will I suffer it from any man in the world, from the king downwards.” “Sinner that I am,” said I, “for having taken so little care about it. But will you not suffer any one to pray for you?”

He continued: “Above all, I am not so poor but that I possess, in my own country, an estate of houses which are well-built, sixteen leagues from where I was born, in the vicinity of Valladolid. They would be worth two hundred times a thousand maravedis if they were in good repair; and I also have a pigeon-cote which, if it was not demolished, would give out two hundred pigeons every year, as well as other things about which I am silent, as it might touch my honour.

[Sidenote: The esquire’s honour makes him fastidious in accepting employment.]

“I came to this city because I expected to find a good appointment, but things have not turned out as I thought. Canons and other Churchmen find plenty, because their profession is not overcrowded. Careless gentlemen also seek me, but to serve with such people involves great trouble, for a man must lose his self-respect with them. If not they tell you to go in God’s name, while the pay is usually at long intervals; when they wish to clear their consciences, and pay for your work, they make you free of a wardrobe containing a worn doublet and a frayed cloak. [Sidenote: Service with a great lord is not to the esquire’s liking.] When a man takes service with a titled lord there is also misery. I cannot undertake to serve or content such. By the Lord! if I should engage myself to one, I think that I should be a great favourite, and that he would confer great favours on me; but I should have to like his habits and customs though not the best in the world; I should be expected never to say a word that would displease, to be very careful in word and deed, not to kill myself in doing things which the great man would not see, never to consort with those who would do him disservice because it would behove me to guard his interests. If some servant of his excites his anger by neglecting his duties, and it should appear that something might be said for the accused, on the contrary you must scoff at the poor fellow maliciously. It is a duty to inform against those in the house, and to find out what is done outside, so as to report it. Many other things of a like kind are the custom in a palace, and with the lord of it, who appears honourable. But such lords do not want to see virtuous men in their houses. On the contrary, they hate and despise them, calling them useless and unacquainted with business. I do not wish to trust my fortunes with such people.”

[Sidenote: When the people came for their rent, the esquire disappeared.]

In this way my master was lamenting his ill-fortune, and giving me an account of his valorous person. While he was thus employed a man and an old woman came in by the door. The man asked for the rent of the house, and the old woman for the rent of the bed, saying that they were hired from two months to two months. I think the sum required was twelve to thirteen reals. My master gave them a very civil answer, saying that he would go out and get change, and return in the afternoon.

But his departure was without any return. They returned in the afternoon when it was late, and I told them that he had not yet come back. The night came, but he did not. I was afraid to stay in the house alone, so I went to my girl-friends, told them what had happened, and slept there. When morning came the creditors returned and asked for the lodger. The girls answered that his boy was there, and that the key was in the door. They asked me where my master was, and I answered that I did not know where he was, but that he had gone out to get change. I thought that he had gone with the change from me as well as from them.

[Sidenote: Creditors search for the esquire’s effects, but there are none.]

When they had heard what I had to say they went for an officer and a scrivener. Presently they returned with them. They took the key, called me and some witnesses, opened the door and went in to take possession of my master’s effects until he had paid his debts. They went all over the house and found it empty. Then they asked me where my master’s effects were, his chest, clothes, and jewelry. I said that I did not know. No doubt, they said, they have got up in the night and taken them somewhere else. [Sidenote: Lazaro is taken into custody.] “Sir,” they said to the officer, “take this boy into custody, for he knows where the effects are.” On this the officer came and took me by the collar, saying, “Boy, you are my prisoner if you do not show us the goods of your master.”

[Illustration: “_They returned in the afternoon._”]

I never was in such a plight as this, though I had been taken by the collar many times. I was dreadfully frightened and began to cry, promising to tell them all they might ask. “That is well,” they said, “tell all you know and you have nothing to fear.”

The scrivener then sat down on the bench to write out the inventory, asking me what there was. I said, “What my master has, according to what he told me, is a very good estate consisting of houses and a demolished pigeon-cote.” “This is worth little,” they said, “but it will do for the payment of his debts. In what part of the town is it?” “In his own country,” I replied. “By the Lord! this is a fine business,” they exclaimed, “and where is his country?” “He told me that it was in Old Castille,” I said. The officer and the scrivener laughed a good deal, and said, “This is a good story to cover your debts!”

[Sidenote: Lazaro is released, at the intercession of his girl-friends.]

The girls who were my neighbours, and who were present, then said: “Sirs! this is an innocent child, and has only been a few days with that esquire, and knows no more than your worships. He used to come to our house and we gave him to eat what we could spare, for the love of God, and at night he went to sleep with the esquire.”

Seeing that I was innocent they let me go. Then the officer and the scrivener asked for their fees from the man and the old woman, over which there was much contention and noise. They declared that they ought not to be forced to pay, for they had got nothing to pay with, and that the seizure of goods had not been made. The others maintained that they had been taken away from other business of more consequence. Finally, after making a great noise, they went away, and I do not know how it ended.

[Sidenote: Lazaro finds himself deserted by his master.]

Having rested from my past troubles I went about to seek employment. Thus I left my poor third master, and know not his unhappy fate. Looking back at all that had gone against me, I found that I had managed my affairs in a reverse way. Masters are usually deserted by their boys, but with me it was not so. For my master deserted and fled from me.

FOURTH MASTER

HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A FRIAR OF THE ORDER OF MERCY, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM.

I had to seek for my fourth master. He was a friar of the Order of Mercy, who was pointed out to me by my girl-friends. They called him a relation. He was a great enemy of the choir, and of having his meals in the convent. He was fond of walking about, of secular business, and of paying visits, so much so that I think he wore out more shoes than any one else in the convent. The friar gave me the first shoes I ever burst in my life. They did not last eight days. I could not endure so much trotting about. For this reason, and some other little things I will not mention, I left him.

FIFTH MASTER

HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A SELLER OF PAPAL INDULGENCES

My fifth master chanced to be a man engaged in the sale of Papal Indulgences.[26] He was the most shameless and impudent distributor of them that ever I saw or hope to see, nor do I believe that any one else ever saw one like him. For he had and sought out his own modes and methods, and very cunning inventions. Coming to the place where he wanted to effect the sales, he began by making trifling presents to the clergy, but nothing of any great value: a lettuce of Murcia if it was the season, a couple of lemons or oranges, a peach, a couple of nectarines, or some green pears. In this way he got them into good humour for favouring his business, and inducing their parishioners to buy his Indulgences.

[26] The “Pardoner,” or seller of Indulgences, was also caricatured in Chaucer’s _Canterbury Tales_, a century and a half earlier.

[Sidenote: Subtle contrivances of the seller of Indulgences.]

If they said that they understood Latin, he did not say a word in that language, for fear of stumbling, but he resorted a gentle and well-considered way of telling his story, with a most seductive tongue. If he found that the clergy were of the reverend class, he talked to them in Latin for two hours, at least what appeared like Latin, though it might not have been so. When the people did not buy the Indulgences freely, he sought how to make them do so by bringing trouble on their village. At other times he tried cunning tricks. But as all his devices would take long to relate, I will only recount one that was specially subtle, and proved his sufficiency.

He had preached for two or three days in a village near Toledo, using all his accustomed arts, but no one had bought an Indulgence, nor was there any sign of an intention to do so. He had devoted them all to the Devil, and was meditating what to do next, when he determined to call the parishioners together the next morning and make a last effort. [Sidenote: Sham quarrel between the seller of Indulgences and the constable.] That night he and the constable,[27] after supper, sat down to play at cards, and they began to quarrel over the game, and make use of bad language. The seller of Indulgences called the constable a thief, and the constable called him a liar. On this my master took up a lance which was in the doorway. The constable put his hand on his sword. At the row they were making the guests and neighbours came and got between them. In great fury the combatants struggled to free themselves and get at each other. But as the place was full of people they saw that they would be prevented from fighting, so they again resorted to abusive language. Among other things the constable said to my master that he was a liar, and that the Indulgences about which he preached were false. At last the people, as they could not pacify the disputants, determined to take the constable away. Thus my master was left in a great rage. Later on the guests and neighbours entreated him to moderate his anger and go to bed, which in the end we all did.

[27] A pardoner always had a sergeant or constable with him, to help him in such houses as refused to pay for their pardons at the appointed time.

When morning came my master went to the church to arrange about the Mass, and about preaching the sermon to announce the Indulgences. The people assembled, but they came murmuring at the Indulgences, saying that they were false, and that the constable himself had found it out. If before they disliked buying them they now detested the idea. [Sidenote: The seller of Indulgences begins his sermon.] The commissary or seller of Indulgences went up into the pulpit, and began his sermon by urging the people not to fail in getting the benefit of such a blessing and such Indulgences as the sacred Bull brought them. When he was in the middle of his sermon the constable entered by the door of the church, and when he had said a prayer, he got up and addressed the people in a loud voice. “Good people,” he said, “hear one word from me, and then listen to any one you like. I came here with this cheat who is preaching to you, and he deceived me. He said that I should help him in this business, and that we would divide the profits. Now see the harm he would have done to my conscience and to your pockets. [Sidenote: Sham denunciation of the Indulgences by the constable.] I plainly declare to you that the Indulgences he is preaching about are false, and that you should not believe in them nor buy them. I will not be a party to it, directly nor indirectly. From this time I give up the wand of office and put it on the ground. If hereafter this man is punished for his falsehoods, you must be my witness that I am not a party to them, and have neither aided nor abetted them. On the contrary, I have undeceived you and exposed his imposture.” Then he concluded his speech.

Some respectable men wanted to take the constable and turn him out of the church to avoid scandal. But my master raised his hand and ordered that no one should molest him on pain of excommunication. He declared that the constable must be allowed to say whatever he liked. When the constable had finished, my master asked him whether he wanted to say anything more. The constable replied, “I could say a good deal more about your falsehoods, but this will do for the present.”

The commissary then knelt down in the pulpit, clasped his hands, turned his eyes up, and said: “O Lord! from whom nothing is hidden, and to whom all things are known, to whom nothing is impossible but all things are possible, Thou knowest the truth and how unjustly I have been accused. All that concerns myself I freely pardon, as Thou, Lord, hast pardoned me. Look not at this man who knows not what he does or says. I only pray for justice. Some who are present may perchance have intended to take these holy Indulgences, and on hearing the false words of that man they may have changed their minds. So I pray to Thee, O Lord, that Thou wilt work a miracle in this way. [Sidenote: Sham miracle worked on the constable.] If what my accuser says is true, that I am evil and false, let this pulpit sink from me forty feet under ground, and never appear again. But if what I say is true, and that man is persuaded by the Devil to try to deprive those present of such great benefits, let him be punished, that all may know his malice.”

Scarcely had my devout master finished his speech when the bad constable fell to the ground with such a noise that the church resounded. Then he began to groan and foam at the mouth, making hideous faces, throwing about his arms and legs, and rolling about on the ground. The noise made by the people was so great that they could not hear each other speak. Some were astounded and terrified. Others cried to God for help. A few, not without trepidation, took his arms and held his legs, for there is not a mule in the world that could have given fiercer kicks. So they held him for a long time, there being more than fifteen men keeping him down, and to all he gave blows, and, if they were not careful, kicks also.

All this time my master was on his knees in the pulpit, with hands and eyes raised to heaven, transported by the divine essence. The noise and disturbance in the church had no effect on his sacred contemplations. [Sidenote: The people intercede for the constable.] Some good men came to him, and, speaking loudly to arouse him, entreated him to succour that poor creature who was dying. They besought him not to dwell upon things that were past, and not to consider his evil deeds, as he had been punished. They prayed to him that, if he could do any good, he would deliver the man from his sufferings for the love of God. They declared that they clearly saw the sin of the culprit, and my master’s truth and goodness, but entreated him to pray to the Lord not to prolong the man’s punishment. [Sidenote: All the people pray for the constable to be forgiven.] The commissary, like one awaking from a delicious dream, looking long at the culprit and at those who were round him, then said: “My good friends, you have interceded for a man on whom God has so signally laid his Hands. But He has enjoined us not to return evil for evil, and to pardon injuries. We may confidently pray that His goodness will pardon this offender who has tried to put obstacles into the working of His holy faith. Let us all pray for this.”

He then came down from the pulpit, and desired that all should pray very devoutly to our Lord to pardon that sinner, and restore him to health and sound judgment, delivering him from the Devil, if, for his great sin, the Evil One had been permitted to enter into him. All went down on their knees before the altar, while the clergy began to chant a litany in a low voice, coming with a cross and the holy water, after singing over it. My master raised his hands to heaven, and turned his eyes up until scarcely anything could be seen but the whites. [Sidenote: The farce is carried on to completion.] He then commenced an address not less long than devout, which made the people weep as they do over a sermon on the Passion delivered by a famous preacher. He prayed to the Lord not to require the death of the sinner, but rather to give his life back to one who had been led away by the Devil, that, being convinced of his sin unto death, he might receive pardon, life, and health, and that he might repent and confess. This done, he would receive the Indulgence.

Presently the sinful constable began gradually to recover until he was himself again. When he was well, he fell at the feet of the commissary asking for pardon, and confessing that what he had said was by order of the Devil, to do my master harm and to be avenged on him, but principally because the Devil was very much annoyed at the good that was done by the Indulgences being received. My master pardoned him, and signs of friendship were passed between them. Then there was such eagerness to buy the Indulgences that scarcely a soul in the place was without one--husbands and wives, sons and daughters, boys and girls. The news of what had happened soon spread to the neighbouring villages, and when we came to them it was not necessary to preach nor even to go to church. In ten or twelve villages of that neighbourhood where we were, my master sold as many thousand Indulgences, without having to preach a single sermon. When he performed this farce, I confess that I was astounded and believed like many others. [Sidenote: Lazaro was behind the scenes.] But afterwards I was a witness to the jokes and laughter that my master and the constable had over the business. I knew how it had been planned and arranged by the industry and inventive talent of my master. Though only a boy I fell into thought, and said to myself, “How many more tricks will the rogues play on these innocent people!” I was nearly four months with my fifth master, during which I also suffered plenty of hardships.

[Illustration: “_The news soon spread to the neighbouring villages._”]

SIXTH MASTER

HOW LAZARO TOOK SERVICE WITH A CHAPLAIN AND HOW HE PROSPERED