Part 5

PISTHETAERUS You would have died nevertheless.--Oh! 'twould be truly intolerable! What! should the universe obey us and the gods alone continue their insolence and not understand that they must submit to the law of the strongest in their due turn? But tell me, where are you flying to?

IRIS I? The messenger of Zeus to mankind, I am going to tell them to sacrifice sheep and oxen on the altars and to fill their streets with the rich smoke of burning fat.

PISTHETAERUS Of which gods are you speaking?

IRIS Of which? Why, of ourselves, the gods of heaven.

PISTHETAERUS You, gods?

IRIS Are there others then?

PISTHETAERUS Men now adore the birds as gods, and 'tis to them, by Zeus, that they must offer sacrifices, and not to Zeus at all!

IRIS Oh! fool! fool! Rouse not the wrath of the gods, for 'tis terrible indeed. Armed with the brand of Zeus, Justice would annihilate your race; the lightning would strike you as it did Licymnius and consume both your body and the porticos of your palace.(1)

f(1) Iris' reply is a parody of the tragic style.--'Lycimnius' is, according to the scholiast, the title of a tragedy by Euripides, which is about a ship that is struck by lightning.

PISTHETAERUS Here! that's enough tall talk. Just you listen and keep quiet! Do you take me for a Lydian or a Phrygian(1) and think to frighten me with your big words? Know, that if Zeus worries me again, I shall go at the head of my eagles, who are armed with lightning, and reduce his dwelling and that of Amphion to cinders.(2) I shall send more than six hundred porphyrions clothed in leopards' skins(3) up to heaven against him; and formerly a single Porphyrion gave him enough to do. As for you, his messenger, if you annoy me, I shall begin by stretching your legs asunder, and so conduct myself, Iris though you be, that despite my age, you will be astonished. I will show you something that will make you three times over.

f(1) i.e. for a poltroon, like the slaves, most of whom came to Athens from these countries.

f(2) A parody of a passage in the lost tragedy of 'Niobe' of Aeschylus.

f(3) Because this bird has a spotted plumage.--Porphyrion is also the name of one of the Titans who tried to storm heave.

IRIS May you perish, you wretch, you and your infamous words!

PISTHETAERUS Won't you be off quickly? Come, stretch your wings or look out for squalls!

IRIS If my father does not punish you for your insults...

PISTHETAERUS Ha!... but just you be off elsewhere to roast younger folk than us with your lightning.

CHORUS We forbid the gods, the sons of Zeus, to pass through our city and the mortals to send them the smoke of their sacrifices by this road.

PISTHETAERUS 'Tis odd that the messenger we sent to the mortals has never returned.

HERALD Oh! blessed Pisthetaerus, very wise, very illustrious, very gracious, thrice happy, very... Come, prompt me, somebody, do.

PISTHETAERUS Get to your story!

HERALD All peoples are filled with admiration for your wisdom, and they award you this golden crown.

PISTHETAERUS I accept it. But tell me, why do the people admire me?

HERALD Oh you, who have founded so illustrious a city in the air, you know not in what esteem men hold you and how many there are who burn with desire to dwell in it. Before your city was built, all men had a mania for Sparta; long hair and fasting were held in honour, men went dirty like Socrates and carried staves. Now all is changed. Firstly, as soon as 'tis dawn, they all spring out of bed together to go and seek their food, the same as you do; then they fly off towards the notices and finally devour the decrees. The bird-madness is so clear, that many actually bear the names of birds. There is a halting victualler, who styles himself the partridge; Menippus calls himself the swallow; Opuntius the one-eyed crow; Philocles the lark; Theogenes the fox-goose; Lycurgus the ibis; Chaerephon the bat; Syracosius the magpie; Midias the quail;(1) indeed he looks like a quail that has been hit hard over the head. Out of love for the birds they repeat all the songs which concern the swallow, the teal, the goose or the pigeon; in each verse you see wings, or at all events a few feathers. This is what is happening down there. Finally, there are more than ten thousand folk who are coming here from earth to ask you for feathers and hooked claws; so, mind you supply yourself with wings for the immigrants.

f(1) All these surnames bore some relation to the character or the build of the individual to whom the poet applies them.--Chaerephon, Socrates' disciple, was of white and ashen hue.--Opuntius was one-eyed.--Syracosius was a braggart.--Midias had a passion for quail-fights, and, besides, resembled that bird physically.

PISTHETAERUS Ah! by Zeus, 'tis not the time for idling. Go as quick as possible and fill every hamper, every basket you can find with wings. Manes(1) will bring them to me outside the walls, where I will welcome those who present themselves.

f(1) Pisthetaerus' servant, already mentioned.

CHORUS This town will soon be inhabited by a crowd of men.

PISTHETAERUS If fortune favours us.

CHORUS Folk are more and more delighted with it.

PISTHETAERUS Come, hurry up and bring them along.

CHORUS Will not man find here everything that can please him--wisdom, love, the divine Graces, the sweet face of gentle peace?

PISTHETAERUS Oh! you lazy servant! won't you hurry yourself?

CHORUS Let a basket of wings be brought speedily. Come, beat him as I do, and put some life into him; he is as lazy as an ass.

PISTHETAERUS Aye, Manes is a great craven.

CHORUS Begin by putting this heap of wings in order; divide them in three parts according to the birds from whom they came; the singing, the prophetic(1) and the aquatic birds; then you must take care to distribute them to the men according to their character.

f(1) From the inspection of which auguries were taken, e.g. the eagles, the vultures, the crows.

PISTHETAERUS (TO MANES) Oh! by the kestrels! I can keep my hands off you no longer; you are too slow and lazy altogether.

A PARRICIDE(1) Oh! might I but become an eagle, who soars in the skies! Oh! might I fly above the azure waves of the barren sea!(2)

f(1) Or rather, a young man who contemplated parricide.

f(2) A parody of verses in Sophocles 'Oenomaus.'

PISTHETAERUS Ha! 'twould seem the news was true; I hear someone coming who talks of wings.

PARRICIDE Nothing is more charming than to fly; I burn with desire to live under the same laws as the birds; I am bird-mad and fly towards you, for I want to live with you and to obey your laws.

PISTHETAERUS Which laws? The birds have many laws.

PARRICIDE All of them; but the one that pleases me most is, that among the birds it is considered a fine thing to peck and strangle one's father.

PISTHETAERUS Aye, by Zeus! according to us, he who dares to strike his father, while still a chick, is a brave fellow.

PARRICIDE And therefore I want to dwell here, for I want to strangle my father and inherit his wealth.

PISTHETAERUS But we have also an ancient law written in the code of the storks, which runs thus, "When the stork father has reared his young and has taught them to fly, the young must in their turn support the father."

PARRICIDE 'Tis hardly worth while coming all this distance to be compelled to keep my father!

PISTHETAERUS No, no, young friend, since you have come to us with such willingness, I am going to give you these black wings, as though you were an orphan bird; furthermore, some good advice, that I received myself in infancy. Don't strike your father, but take these wings in one hand and these spurs in the other; imagine you have a cock's crest on your head and go and mount guard and fight; live on your pay and respect your father's life. You're a gallant fellow! Very well, then! Fly to Thrace and fight.(1)

f(1) The Athenians were then besieging Amphipolis in the Thracian Chalcidice.

PARRICIDE By Bacchus! 'Tis well spoken; I will follow your counsel.

PISTHETAERUS 'Tis acting wisely, by Zeus.

CINESIAS(1) "On my light pinions I soar off to Olympus; in its capricious flight my Muse flutters along the thousand paths of poetry in turn..."

f(1) There was a real Cinesias--a dythyrambic poet born at Thebes.

PISTHETAERUS This is a fellow will need a whole shipload of wings.

CINESIAS (singing) "...and being fearless and vigorous, it is seeking fresh outlet."

PISTHETAERUS Welcome, Cinesias, you lime-wood man!(1) Why have you come here a-twisting your game leg in circles?

f(1) The scholiast thinks that Cinesias, who was tall and slight of build, wore a kind of corset of lime-wood to support his waist--surely rather a far-fetched interpretation!

CINESIAS "I want to become a bird, a tuneful nightingale."

PISTHETAERUS Enough of that sort of ditty. Tell me what you want.

CINESIAS Give me wings and I will fly into the topmost airs to gather fresh songs in the clouds, in the midst of the vapours and the fleecy snow.

PISTHETAERUS Gather songs in the clouds?

CINESIAS 'Tis on them the whole of our latter-day art depends. The most brilliant dithyrambs are those that flap their wings in void space and are clothed in mist and dense obscurity. To appreciate this, just listen.

PISTHETAERUS Oh! no, no, no!

CINESIAS By Hermes! but indeed you shall. "I shall travel through thine ethereal empire like a winged bird, who cleaveth space with his long neck..."

PISTHETAERUS Stop! easy all, I say!(1)

f(1) The Greek word used here was the word of command employed to stop the rowers.

CINESIAS "...as I soar over the seas, carried by the breath of the winds..."

PISTHETAERUS By Zeus! but I'll cut your breath short.

CINESIAS "...now rushing along the tracks of Notus, now nearing Boreas across the infinite wastes of the ether." (PISTHETAERUS BEATS HIM.) Ah! old man, that's a pretty and clever idea truly!

PISTHETAERUS What! are you not delighted to be cleaving the air?(1)

f(1) Cinesias makes a bound each time that Pisthetaerus strikes him.

CINESIAS To treat a dithyrambic poet, for whom the tribes dispute with each other, in this style!(1)

f(1) The tribes of Athens, or rather the rich citizens belonging to them, were wont on feast-days to give representations of dithyrambic choruses as well as of tragedies and comedies.

PISTHETAERUS Will you stay with us and form a chorus of winged birds as slender as Leotrophides(1) for the Cecropid tribe?

f(1) Another dithyrambic poet, a man of extreme leanness.

CINESIAS You are making game of me, 'tis clear; but know that I shall never leave you in peace if I do not have wings wherewith to traverse the air.

AN INFORMER What are these birds with downy feathers, who look so pitiable to me? Tell me, oh swallow with the long dappled wings.(1)

f(1) A parody of a hemistich from 'Alcaeus.'--The informer is dissatisfied at only seeing birds of sombre plumage and poor appearance. He would have preferred to denounce the rich.

PISTHETAERUS Oh! but 'tis a regular invasion that threatens us. Here comes another of them, humming along.

INFORMER Swallow with the long dappled wings, once more I summon you.

PISTHETAERUS It's his cloak I believe he's addressing; 'faith, it stands in great need of the swallows' return.(1)

f(1) The informer, says the scholiast, was clothed with a ragged cloak, the tatters of which hung down like wings, in fact, a cloak that could not protect him from the cold and must have made him long for the swallows' return, i.e. the spring.

INFORMER Where is he who gives out wings to all comers?

PISTHETAERUS 'Tis I, but you must tell me for what purpose you want them.

INFORMER Ask no questions. I want wings, and wings I must have.

PISTHETAERUS Do you want to fly straight to Pellene?(1)

f(1) A town in Achaia, where woollen cloaks were made.

INFORMER I? Why, I am an accuser of the islands,(1) an informer...

f(1) His trade was to accuse the rich citizens of the subject islands, and drag them before the Athenian court; he explains later the special advantages of this branch of the informer's business.

PISTHETAERUS A fine trade, truly!

INFORMER ...a hatcher of lawsuits. Hence I have great need of wings to prowl round the cities and drag them before justice.

PISTHETAERUS Would you do this better if you had wings?

INFORMER No, but I should no longer fear the pirates; I should return with the cranes, loaded with a supply of lawsuits by way of ballast.

PISTHETAERUS So it seems, despite all your youthful vigour, you make it your trade to denounce strangers?

INFORMER Well, and why not? I don't know how to dig.

PISTHETAERUS But, by Zeus! there are honest ways of gaining a living at your age without all this infamous trickery.

INFORMER My friend, I am asking you for wings, not for words.

PISTHETAERUS 'Tis just my words that give you wings.

INFORMER And how can you give a man wings with your words?

PISTHETAERUS 'Tis thus that all first start.

INFORMER All?

PISTHETAERUS Have you not often heard the father say to young men in the barbers' shops, "It's astonishing how Diitrephes' advice has made my son fly to horse-riding."--"Mine," says another, "has flown towards tragic poetry on the wings of his imagination."

INFORMER So that words give wings?

PISTHETAERUS Undoubtedly; words give wings to the mind and make a man soar to heaven. Thus I hope that my wise words will give you wings to fly to some less degrading trade.

INFORMER But I do not want to.

PISTHETAERUS What do you reckon on doing then?

INFORMER I won't belie my breeding; from generation to generation we have lived by informing. Quick, therefore, give me quickly some light, swift hawk or kestrel wings, so that I may summon the islanders, sustain the accusation here, and haste back there again on flying pinions.

PISTHETAERUS I see. In this way the stranger will be condemned even before he appears.

INFORMER That's just it.

PISTHETAERUS And while he is on his way here by sea, you will be flying to the islands to despoil him of his property.

INFORMER You've hit it, precisely; I must whirl hither and thither like a perfect humming-top.

PISTHETAERUS I catch the idea. Wait, i' faith, I've got some fine Corcyraean wings.(1) How do you like them?

f(1) That is, whips--Corcyra being famous for these articles.

INFORMER Oh! woe is me! Why, 'tis a whip!

PISTHETAERUS No, no; these are the wings, I tell you, that set the top a-spinning.

INFORMER Oh! oh! oh!

PISTHETAERUS Take your flight, clear off, you miserable cur, or you will soon see what comes of quibbling and lying. Come, let us gather up our wings and withdraw.

CHORUS In my ethereal flights I have seen many things new and strange and wondrous beyond belief. There is a tree called Cleonymus belonging to an unknown species; it has no heart, is good for nothing and is as tall as it is cowardly. In springtime it shoots forth calumnies instead of buds and in autumn it strews the ground with bucklers in place of leaves.(1)

Far away in the regions of darkness, where no ray of light ever enters, there is a country, where men sit at the table of the heroes and dwell with them always--save always in the evening. Should any mortal meet the hero Orestes at night, he would soon be stripped and covered with blows from head to foot.(2)

f(1) Cleonymous is a standing butt of Aristophanes' wit, both as an informer and a notorious poltroon.

f(2) In allusion to the cave of the bandit Orestes; the poet terms him a hero only because of his heroic name Orestes.

PROMETHEUS Ah! by the gods! if only Zeus does not espy me! Where is Pisthetaerus?

PISTHETAERUS Ha! what is this? A masked man!

PROMETHEUS Can you see any god behind me?

PISTHETAERUS No, none. But who are you, pray?

PROMETHEUS What's the time, please?

PISTHETAERUS The time? Why, it's past noon. Who are you?

PROMETHEUS Is it the fall of day? Is it no later than that?(1)

f(1) Prometheus wants night to come and so reduce the risk of being seen from Olympus.

PISTHETAERUS Oh! 'pon my word! but you grow tiresome.

PROMETHEUS What is Zeus doing? Is he dispersing the clouds or gathering them?(1)

f(1) The clouds would prevent Zeus seeing what was happening below him.

PISTHETAERUS Take care, lest I lose all patience.

PROMETHEUS Come, I will raise my mask.

PISTHETAERUS Ah! my dear Prometheus!

PROMETHEUS Stop! stop! speak lower!

PISTHETAERUS Why, what's the matter, Prometheus?

PROMETHEUS H'sh! h'sh! Don't call me by my name; you will be my ruin, if Zeus should see me here. But, if you want me to tell you how things are going in heaven, take this umbrella and shield me, so that the gods don't see me.

PISTHETAERUS I can recognize Prometheus in this cunning trick. Come, quick then, and fear nothing; speak on.

PROMETHEUS Then listen.

PISTHETAERUS I am listening, proceed!

PROMETHEUS It's all over with Zeus.

PISTHETAERUS Ah! and since when, pray?

PROMETHEUS Since you founded this city in the air. There is not a man who now sacrifices to the gods; the smoke of the victims no longer reaches us. Not the smallest offering comes! We fast as though it were the festival of Demeter.(1) The barbarian gods, who are dying of hunger, are bawling like Illyrians(2) and threaten to make an armed descent upon Zeus, if he does not open markets where joints of the victims are sold.

f(1) The third day of the festival of Demeter was a fast.

f(2) A semi-savage people, addicted to violence and brigandage.

PISTHETAERUS What! there are other gods besides you, barbarian gods who dwell above Olympus?

PROMETHEUS If there were no barbarian gods, who would be the patron of Execestides?(1)

f(1) Who, being reputed a stranger despite his pretension to the title of a citizen, could only have a strange god for his patron or tutelary deity.

PISTHETAERUS And what is the name of these gods?

PROMETHEUS Their name? Why, the Triballi.(1)

f(1) The Triballi were a Thracian people; it was a term commonly used in Athens to describe coarse men, obscene debauchees and greedy parasites.

PISTHETAERUS Ah, indeed! 'tis from that no doubt that we derive the word 'tribulation.'(1)

f(1) There is a similar pun in the Greek.

PROMETHEUS Most likely. But one thing I can tell you for certain, namely, that Zeus and the celestial Triballi are going to send deputies here to sue for peace. Now don't you treat, unless Zeus restores the sceptre to the birds and gives you Basileia(1) in marriage.

f(1) i.e. the 'supremacy' of Greece, the real object of the war.

PISTHETAERUS Who is this Basileia?

PROMETHEUS A very fine young damsel, who makes the lightning for Zeus; all things come from her, wisdom, good laws, virtue, the fleet, calumnies, the public paymaster and the triobolus.

PISTHETAERUS Ah! then she is a sort of general manageress to the god.

PROMETHEUS Yes, precisely. If he gives you her for your wife, yours will be the almighty power. That is what I have come to tell you; for you know my constant and habitual goodwill towards men.

PISTHETAERUS Oh, yes! 'tis thanks to you that we roast our meat.(1)

f(1) Prometheus had stolen the fire from the gods to gratify mankind.

PROMETHEUS I hate the gods, as you know.

PISTHETAERUS Aye, by Zeus, you have always detested them.

PROMETHEUS Towards them I am a veritable Timon;(1) but I must return in all haste, so give me the umbrella; if Zeus should see me from up there, he would think I was escorting one of the Canephori.(2)

f(1) A celebrated misanthrope, contemporary to Aristophanes. Hating the society of men, he had only a single friend, Apimantus, to whom he was attached, because of their similarity of character; he also liked Alcibiades, because he foresaw that this young man would be the ruin of his country.

f(2) The Canephori were young maidens, chosen from the first families of the city, who carried baskets wreathed with myrtle at the feast of Athene, while at those of Bacchus and Demeter they appeared with gilded baskets.--The daughters of 'Metics,' or resident aliens, walked behind them, carrying an umbrella and a stool.

PISTHETAERUS Wait, take this stool as well.

CHORUS Near by the land of the Sciapodes(1) there is a marsh, from the borders whereof the odious Socrates evokes the souls of men. Pisander(2) came one day to see his soul, which he had left there when still alive. He offered a little victim, a camel,(3) slit his throat and, following the example of Ulysses, stepped one pace backwards.(4) Then that bat of a Chaerephon(5) came up from hell to drink the camel's blood.

f(1) According to Ctesias, the Sciapodes were a people who dwelt on the borders of the Atlantic. Their feet were larger than the rest of their bodies, and to shield themselves from the sun's rays they held up one of their feet as an umbrella.--By giving the Socratic philosophers the name of Sciapodes here Aristophanes wishes to convey that they are walking in the dark and busying themselves with the greatest nonsense.

f(2) This Pisander was a notorious coward; for this reason the poet jestingly supposes that he had lost his soul, the seat of courage.

f(3) Considering the shape and height of the camel, (it) can certainly not be included in the list of SMALL victims, e.g. the sheep and the goat.

f(4) In the evocation of the dead, Book XI of the Odyssey.

f(5) Chaerephon was given this same title by the Herald earlier in this comedy.--Aristophanes supposes him to have come from hell because he is lean and pallid.

POSIDON(1) This is the city of Nephelococcygia, Cloud-cuckoo-town, whither we come as ambassadors. (TO TRIBALLUS) Hi! what are you up to? you are throwing your cloak over the left shoulder. Come, fling it quick over the right! And why, pray, does it draggle in this fashion? Have you ulcers to hide like Laespodias?(2) Oh! democracy!(3) whither, oh! whither are you leading us? Is it possible that the gods have chosen such an envoy?

f(1) Posidon appears on the stage accompanied by Heracles and a Triballian god.

f(2) An Athenian general.--Neptune is trying to give Triballus some notions of elegance and good behaviour.

f(3) Aristophanes supposes that democracy is in the ascendant in Olympus as it is in Athens.

TRIBALLUS Leave me alone.

POSIDON Ugh! the cursed savage! you are by far the most barbarous of all the gods.--Tell me, Heracles, what are we going to do?

HERACLES I have already told you that I want to strangle the fellow who has dared to block us in.

POSIDON But, my friend, we are envoys of peace.

HERACLES All the more reason why I wish to strangle him.

PISTHETAERUS Hand me the cheese-grater; bring me the silphium for sauce; pass me the cheese and watch the coals.(1)

f(1) He is addressing his servant, Manes.

HERACLES Mortal! we who greet you are three gods.

PISTHETAERUS Wait a bit till I have prepared my silphium pickle.

HERACLES What are these meats?(1)

f(1) Heracles softens at sight of the food.--Heracles is the glutton of the comic poets.

PISTHETAERUS These are birds that have been punished with death for attacking the people's friends.

HERACLES And you are seasoning them before answering us?

PISTHETAERUS Ah! Heracles! welcome, welcome! What's the matter?(1)