Part 6

PATCH: Where does we ship the niggers?

DARLIN': Ain 't yer got a mermaid on yer chest?

(_The pirates have risen and come forward. Their questions are put faster and with insolence. Dirk and hook are drawn. Joe stands in an easy, careless attitude. He seems ignorant of danger. He has taken a coal from the fire and slowly, deliberately, with back to the menace, he lights his pipe. Then suddenly he drops it from his teeth. He leaps to action. He draws his knife--two knives, one for each hand. He kicks away a chair, for room. He drives the pirates across the cabin. The candle--all the mugs upon the table--rattle to the stones. He cries out with bravado._)

JOE: Who offers me his carcass first? What! Is pirate blood so thin and white?

(_The pirates stand with knives drawn. It is an awkward moment of social precedence._)

PATCH: (_safe in the farthest corner_). It 's me patch, Captain. It 's fetched loose. I follers yer.

JOE: Come, Duke, and take your answer! Have you no stomach for my message? 'Fore God, is there no black ram to lead his sheep to the shearing?

(_Joe's is a dangerous gayety. His two knives glisten in the candle light._)

PATCH: Scrape him with yer hook, Captain, I follers yer.

JOE: My knife frets. It is thirsty for thick red wine. Who offers me his cask to tap? I 'll pledge the King, although it is a dirty vintage. Come, Captain, I 'll carve you to a dainty morsel. We 'll have fresh meat for the platter. You 'll not be known from scared rabbit-flesh.

(_He drives them around the table. Patch takes refuge behind the door. Darlin's red stockings run up the ladder._)

JOE: You bearded hound!

PATCH: He 's tauntin' yer, Captain. Hand him the hook! The Duke and me is back o' yer.

JOE: Do you fear to cheat the gibbet on Wapping wharf? A knife 's a sweeter end. Who comes first? I 'll help him across the Styx. Or sink or swim! Flint waits in hell for three whelps to join his crew.

PATCH: Captain, I 'm 'sprized at yer good nater. Scrape him one!

JOE: Who comes to the barber first? Cowards! I 'll ram your pigtails down your throats. I 'll wash your dirt in blood.

(_The Duke proves to be the strategist. He has edged to the rear of the cabin. He circles behind Red Joe. And now in a flash he leaps on him. Joe is buried under the three pirates, for Patch's valor returns when Joe is down. Joe is tied with ropes and fastened to an upright at the chimneyside. This is the terrible, glorious moment, now that the fight is over, when the actor-manager, as I first read the play--as explained in the preface (you really must read the preface)--turned his excited somersault down the carpet._)

PATCH: Did yer notice, Captain, how I took him by the throat? He was squirmin' loose when I grabbed him. It was me tripped him.

DUKE: Captain, I asks yer a favor. Can I stick him now. Dead men tell no tales.

PATCH: Captain, yer jest makes a pet o' the Duke. Ain 't it my turn? I gets rusty.

DARLIN': Let the Duke do it. He has more reasons than Patch.

CAPTAIN: Lay off, me hearties! Does n't yer know we 're in a hurry? Red Joe 's kickin' up has wasted a heap o' time. The Royal 'Arry will be showin' 'round the cliff any minute now. Red Joe 's safe. He 's tied up double. We 'll have a merry party arterward--with grog and angel cake. It 's business afore pleasure. Here, Duke, take the lantern. (_He shakes it._) It 's full o' ile. Jest stir yer timber stump, Duke. Yer can foller, Patch. Yer follers better 'n yer leads. Some folks is pussycats.

[Illustration: "It 's full o' ile"]

DUKE: He 's pokin' fun at yer, ol' lionheart.

PATCH: Yer hurts me feelin's.

DUKE: I 'll hurt yer in a fatter place--where yer sits--if yer does n't step along. Yer a yeller-livered, maggoty land fish. I curbs me tongue. I scorns yer worse 'n cow's milk. Go 'long, afore I loosens up and tells yer what yer are!

CAPTAIN: In about two minutes that blessed eye o' Petey will go out. We must set up the lantern afore the Royal 'Arry sticks her nose in sight.

DUKE: By by, Joey. See yer later, ol' angel cake. Yer has jest time ter say "Now I lay me."

CAPTAIN: How 's the night, Duke?

DUKE: Blacker than the Earl o' Hell's top-boots.

DARLIN': I 'll jest stick me apron on me head and go 'long, too. It ain 't proper fer a lady as has me temptin' beauty ter be left alone with snoopers.

(_The cabin is empty except for Red Joe. He strains at his cords, but is tied fast. You hear the voices of the pirates singing in the distance._)

I agrees ter this and ter give 'em bliss-- From Pew I learned the trick-- I push 'em wide o' the wessel's side, And poke 'em down with a stick.

(_As soon as the pirates have left the cabin Betsy enters. She sees Joe but passes him in fright. She runs to the window and shields her eyes to see into the darkness._)

BETSY: God help the poor sailormen!

JOE: Betsy! Betsy! For the love of God!

(_Suddenly the lighthouse light vanishes. And almost at once the ship's lantern shows at the window to the left. All sounds are hushed._)

BETSY: The ship 's in sight. I see her lights. She has rounded the farther cliff. I see her turning. She heads in from the sea. Her three masts are in line. She steers for the lantern. God have mercy! She 'll strike in another minute. (_She stuffs her ears and runs from the window._) I can 't bear to listen. I can 't bear to look.

JOE: Betsy! Betsy! Do you hear? Margaret! Margaret!

(_At the sound of Margaret she lifts her head, buried in her arms. She runs toward Joe. Her wits seem dazed._)

JOE: Quick! Margaret! Margaret! That knife! That knife on the stones! Margaret, cut me loose!

(_Still dazed, moving as if in a dream, Betsy picks up the knife. She cuts Joe's cords. Joe seizes the gun that leans against the clock. He takes deliberate aim through the window. He fires. The window glass is shattered. The ship's lantern is hit. The light vanishes. He replaces the gun. Betsy stands beside him, looking in his face._)

BETSY: You 've hit it! Thank God! The light is shattered. (_Then, after a pause._) I seem to remember now. My name is Margaret. I remember--

JOE: What do you remember?

BETSY: A great staircase--a room, with shadows from a candle. And when I was afraid, a lady sang to me. And she set the candle so that the fearful giant upon the wall ran off, and I was safe.

JOE: What else do you remember?

BETSY: I remember--

JOE: Margaret, do you remember me?

(_Margaret looks at him and a new memory is stirred._)

BETSY: Yes, I remember you. Were you not a great tall lad whose crook'd elbow was level with my head? And once we climbed a tower--or do I recall a dream? You held me so that I might see the waves breaking on the rocks below. Then with level eyes we looked upon the sea, and cried out our discovery of each glistening sail. Are these things real? One morning you mounted horse, and I was held aloft so that you might stoop and kiss me. You rode off with a clatter on the stones. You turned and waved your hat. And now you have come back. You are Hal. We were playmates once.

JOE: And by luck and God's help we shall be playmates once again.

(_He puts his arms around her and kisses her._)

BETSY: Quick, Hal! You must escape. Quick! Before the pirates come. Follow the path to the village! You can escape by the Royal Harry.

(_They are running to the door when there is a sound of voices on the path outside. Joe has just time to put himself in the posture in which the pirates left him. The pirates and Darlin' enter in dejection. Betsy runs to the kitchen._)

CAPTAIN: Blast me, the lantern 's out!

PATCH: Rot me, but there were an explosion!

DARLIN': Poof! And there were n't no lantern!

DUKE: What done it? What done it? I asks yer.

(_They stand at the window and look toward the ocean._)

DUKE: She is still headed on. Her nose is still pointin' toward the cliff.

CAPTAIN: What 's that?

DUKE: I hears the rattlin' o' chains. She 's droppin' anchor. She has sniffed the willainy. Her anchor 's down. She 's saved hisself. Blow me, she 's saved hisself.

CAPTAIN: Yer can hang me ter a gibbet.

PATCH: Yer can rot me bones.

DARLIN': Me heart 's gone palpy.

DUKE: What done it? What done it? I asks yer.

(_At this point let us hope that the curtain does not stick._)

[Illustration: "What done it? I asks yer"]

[Illustration: ACT III]

## ACT III

_The scene is the same as before. We have given up all hope of a pirate ship rocking on the sea. Our plot still twists us around its little finger. The curtain rises on the tableau of the second act. Old Petey shows again at the window to the right._

DUKE: What done it? What done it? I asks yer.

PATCH: Jest when everythin' was goin' pretty.

CAPTAIN: Jest when she was about ter hit.

DARLIN': Me heart near stopped--I was that excited.

(_The pirates sit in deep dejection._)

DUKE: The mystery o' this business is how the blinkin' lantern went out.

CAPTAIN: Ol' Petey done his part.

PATCH: He doused herself in time.

CAPTAIN: It was the lantern done it.

DUKE: When there were n't no light at all, the Royal 'Arry, she jest sniffed willainy and dropped anchor.

PATCH: I was repeatin' Smash yer devil! Smash yer devil!--kinder hurryin' her on.

DARLIN': I was sayin' Now I lay me--throbbin' with excitement.

DUKE: It was n't ile. I put ile in the lantern meself. Captain, yer seen me put in ile.

CAPTAIN: I seen yer. And I swished it meself ter be sure.

PATCH: Nothin 's been right since that ol' lady hanged me ter a gibbet.

CAPTAIN: There we was watchin'--

PATCH: Pop!

CAPTAIN: And all of a sudden--quicker 'n seven devils--the bloomin' lantern went all ter pieces. It 's grog, I says. Snakes is next. It were a comfert to the ol' Captain ter know that all o' yer seen it. I seen a yeller rhinoceros once, runnin' along with purple mice--all alone I seen it--and it kinder sickened me o' rum.

PATCH: Does yer think the lantern exploded?

DUKE: Did yer ever hear o' a ship's lantern explodin'? I asks yer, Captain.

CAPTAIN: Yer talks silly, Patch. That lantern has hung fer twenty year on ol' Flint's ship--swingin' easy and contented all 'round the Horn--and it ain 't never exploded once.

DUKE: Swabs' lanterns explode, stoopid. Ships' lanterns don 't. Captain, I feels as mournful as when Flint's clock did n't tick no more and we knowed he was took by the blessed angels.

CAPTAIN: I ain 't meself as gay as a cuckoo--not quite I ain 't.

PATCH: Ever since that ol' lady--

DUKE: Lay off on that ol' lady!

(_They sit in silence, in dejection. All stare stupidly at the floor. For a moment it seems as if nothing more will be said and the audience might as well go home. But presently the Duke sees something at the rear of the cabin. He looks as you or I would look if we saw a yellow elephant taking its after-dinner coffee in the sitting-room; but, as he is a pirate, he is not frightened--merely interested and intent. He brushes his hand before his eyes, to make sure it is no delusion--not grog or rum. Then he rises softly. He crosses to the window. Very gently he touches the glass. He finds it is really broken. He loosens a piece of the shattered glass. The others are sunk in such melancholy that they do not observe him._

_He gazes through the window, studying the direction of the broken ship's lantern. He traces the angle with his finger. The gesture ends with an accusing finger pointing at Red Joe. He whistles softly. For a moment his eye rests upon the gun, which leans against the clock. He has guessed the riddle. He advances casually, but with dirk in hand. He comes in front of Joe. Suddenly he presses the blade of his dirk against Joe's stomach._)

DUKE: Captain! Captain! Quick! Tie him up!

(_Joe is bound again with rope._)

DUKE: It 's him that done it. It 's Red Joe.

CAPTAIN: How did he get loose?

DUKE: (_as he points to the knife on the floor_). Does yer see that knife? Does yer see Joe? I 'm tellin' yer. It was him shot out the lantern.

PATCH: Did n't I help ter tie him meself?

DUKE: Askin' yer pardon, Captain, but you and Patch has the brains o' a baby aligator. A stuffed rhinocopoterus is pos'-lutely nothin'. Askin' yer pardon fer speakin' so plain. I does all yer thinkin' for yer. There 's some folks settin' here as are fat-headed, and thinks ships' lanterns explode.

PATCH: Easy now, ol' dear. Yer alers pitchin' inter me, 'cause I 'm good-natered.

CAPTAIN: Red Joe, I calls yer a dirty spy. A swab! A landlubber! Fer one copper farthin' I 'd ketch yer one with this hook.

DUKE: It was me discovered him. I asks yer, Captain, ter leave Red Joe ter me. I hates him most perticerler.

(_Betsy enters from the kitchen._)

BETSY: Did you call, Captain?

DARLIN': Nobody ain 't callin' yer, dearie. Now jest toddle back to the kitchen.

DUKE: This ain 't no place fer a leetle girl. It will give yer bad dreams. Mince pie 's nothin'.

(_Betsy attempts to leave the cabin by the door that leads to the cliffs--the door at the rear of the cabin._)

DUKE: Where you goin', Betsy?

BETSY: I 've an errand in the village.

DUKE: Well, yer ain 't goin'. It ain 't no night fer a leetle girl ter be out. I ain 't goin' ter have me Duchess snifflin' with a cold. Go to grandma! It was me discovered him, Captain. I 'm askin' yer a favor. He 's a snooper.

PATCH: Captain, I gets rusty.

CAPTAIN: Lay off, me hearties. Duke! Patch! I loves both o' yer. I loves yer equal, like two mugs o' grog as is full alike. Yer can pitch dice ter see which does it.

(_He places the dice cup on the table beside the candle. The Duke and Patch take their places. Betsy, under cover of this centered interest, runs to Red Joe, who whispers to her._)

DUKE: I drops 'em in me mug, so 's they can get a smell o' rum. The leetle bones is me friends. I never throws less 'n a five spot. I makes a pint o' shakin' the bones till they rattles jolly. I likes the sound o' it even better 'n the blessed scrapin' o' a spoon what 's stirrin' grog. Write it on me tombstone--if I rots ashore--He was the kinder feller as never throwed less 'n a five spot.

[Illustration: "The leetle bones is me friends"]

CAPTAIN: Go 'long, Duke. Bones, as is kept waitin', sulks.

PATCH: One or three?

DUKE: One 's enough. I 'm talkin' to yer, bones. I wants sixes, sweeties.

(_As he throws Betsy jostles the candle with her arm. It overturns and falls. The cabin is dark. You can see her run from the cabin and pass the windows to the left._)

DUKE: Now yer done it!

PATCH: You is all thumbs, Betsy.

CAPTAIN: Easy, mates! It were jest an accident. Betsy, fetch a seacoal from the hearth! Betsy! We ain 't goin' ter wallop yer. Where are yer, Betsy?

DARLIN': Come out o' yer hidin'!

CAPTAIN: I 'll light the candle meself.

(_He takes it to the fire, lights it and returns to the table._)

CAPTAIN: There yer are--blazin' like ol' Petey. Yer had better sit down, Betsy. Crack me stump, where is the girl?

PATCH: Kinder silly o' her ter run away. We ain 't never walloped her.

DUKE: Women 's silly folks. I calls 'em ninnies. It don 't do no good tryin' ter understand 'em. Now then, ol' lionheart, are yer ready? (_He throws._) Two fives! I 've done yer, Patch.

(_It is Patch's turn. He kisses the cubes._)

PATCH: Yer as sweet as honey. Tell me yer loves me. Me dirk is itchin' fer yer answer. Luck 's a lady as dotes on me. (_He throws._) A pair o' sixes! Does yer see it, Duke? Stick yer blinkin' eye right down agin the table! It 's me, Captain. (_He rises and draws his knife._) Joey are yer ready?

JOE: God, if I were loose I 'd take you by the dirty gullet and twist it until you roared. I 'd kick you off my path like a snarling cur. Of what filth does nature sometimes compound a man! Shall a skunk walk two-legged to infect the air? Three cowards will hang on Wapping wharf before the month is up.

PATCH: Are n't meanin' us, are yer Joey?

JOE: And I 'll tell you more.

CAPTAIN: Ain 't we listenin' to yer? Yer can talk spry, as Patch here has a leetle job ter do, and it 's nearin' bed time.

DUKE: We does n't want ter sit up late and lose our beauty sleep jest listenin' to a speech.

JOE: A pirate takes his chance of death. You guard your dirty skins by wrecking ships upon the rocks. You dare not pit yourselves against a breathing victim. Like carrion-crows you sit to a vile and bloated banquet.

PATCH: Tip me the wink, Captain, when yer has heard enough.

JOE: Stand off, you whelp! The King of England fights in France--

DUKE: Ain 't yer 'shamed that you is not there ter help?

JOE: I 'll tell you why I am not in France. I swore to his majesty that I would clear his coast of pirates. My plans are made. The channel is swept by gunboats. They will close in on you tomorrow--you and all the dirty vermin that befoul these cliffs.

DUKE: He talks so big, ye 'd think he was the King himself.

(_Everyone laughs at this. The Duke takes the cloak from the chest. In derision he hangs it across Red Joe's shoulders._)

DUKE: We 'll play ch'rades. Here 's yer costume, Joey. There! It fits yer like the skin o' a snake. We makes yer King. Yer looks like yer was paradin' in St. James's park, lampin' a Duchess.

PATCH: Does yer majesty need a new 'igh chancellor. I asks yer fer it. I wants a fine house in London town, runnin' ter the Strand, and peacocks struttin' in the garden.

CAPTAIN: King, I asks yer ter cast yer gig on me. I 'd be a right smart Archbishop o' Canterbury. Me whiskers is 'clesiastical.

DUKE: I offers meself, King, as Lord 'Igh Admiral o' the Navy. I swears fluent.

DARLIN': Has yer a Princess vacant? I lolls graceful on a throne. (_The horrid creature spits._)

CAPTAIN: 'Vast there, me hearties! I 'm thinkin' I 'm hearin' the sound o' footsteps.

DUKE: (_to Patch_). Did yer lordship hear any sound?

PATCH: Askin' your Grice's pardon, I did n't ketch a thing. Did you hear anythin', Princess?

DARLIN': There 's nothin' come ter me pearly ears.

CAPTAIN: Silence! I wants ter listen.

(_No sound is heard._)

CAPTAIN: Well, Patch, yer had better get yer dirk ready. I 'm uncommon sleepy. I wants ter get ter bed.

DARLIN': Ketch him a deep one, Patch.

PATCH: I takes it mighty kind o' you, Captain. Yer has alers been a lovin' father ter me. Joey, I 'll tell yer what yer are. Yer the kind o' feller I hates most perticerler. Yer a spy! Say yer prayers, you hissin' snake!

(_He sharpens his dirk and gayly tests it on his whiskers._)

JOE: My wasted day is done. In the tempest's wrack the stars are dim and faith 's the only compass. Now or hereafter, what matters it? The sun will gild the meadows as of yesteryear. The moon will fee the world with silver coin. And all across the earth men will traffic on their little errands until nature calls them home. I am a stone cast in a windy pool where scarce a ripple shows. Life 's but a candle in the wind. Mine will not burn to socket.

DUKE: He 's all wound up like a clock--jest tickin' words.

CAPTAIN: Patch, Joe is tellin' us poetical that his wick has burned right down to the bottle. Yer had better put it out, without more hesitatin'.

(_And now, as they are intent for the coming blow--suddenly! quietly!--a woman's hand and arm--a claw, rather, with long, thin, shrivelled fingers--have come in sight at the window with the broken glass._

_It quite terrifies me as I write. My pencil shakes. Old ladies will want to scream._

_The fingers grope along the sill. They fumble on the wall. They stretch to reach the gun which stands beside the clock. Another inch and they will grasp it and Red Joe will be saved. The arm rubs against the pendulum of the clock. It swings and the clock starts to tick. And still no one has seen the terrible hand. And now the fingers are thrust blindly against the gun. It falls with a clatter on the stones. The hand and arm disappear. But Darlin' has seen the swinging pendulum and shrieks._)

DUKE: Does yer see it, Captain?

PATCH: Horrers!

DUKE: It 's never went since Flint was hanged.

CAPTAIN: And would n't run till his death 's revenged and him layin' peaceful in his coffin.

PATCH: Does yer think it 's grog? Does all o' yer see it?

DUKE: What done it?

(_From the distance is heard a long-drawn whistle._)

CAPTAIN: What 's that?

PATCH: It makes me jumpy.

DUKE: It ain 't a night when folks whistles jest fer cows and such. Finish yer job, Patch.

PATCH: Are yer feared o' somethin' special, Duke?

DUKE: Feared? If we ain 't quick, there 'll be a gibbet fer all o' us.

CAPTAIN: Ain 't the clock tickin' peaceful?

PATCH: She ain 't got no right ter tick. It 's like a dead man talkin'.

DUKE: Quick! Give me the knife! I 'll stick it in him. And when I 'm done, we scatters. There 's trouble brewin'. Termorrer night, when the tide is out, we meets at the holler cave. And may the devil lend a helpin' hand. Snooper, are yer ready? Does yer see this here blade shinin' in the candle? In about one minute I 'll be wipin' off a streak o' red upon me breeks. Flint--blessin' on yer gentle soul!--yer can rest in peace!

[Illustration: "I 'll be wipin off a streak o' red upon me breeks"]

(_He approaches Joe with upraised knife. Suddenly he cries out._)

DUKE: It 's him the fortin-teller mentioned. It 's the man in a velvet cloak!

CAPTAIN: It 's him! Me God! Me hook!