Part 5
Ad Jacobum Brown Semel Lydia, loquitur: 'Si fidem violaris, I'd lay down and die, sir.' 'Si my Lydia dear I should ever forget'-- Tum respondit: 'I hope To be roasted and ate.'
Sed, though Jacob had sworn Pro aris et focis, He went off and left Lydia Deserta, lachrymosis. In lachrymis solvis She sobbed and she sighed; And at last, corde fracta, Turned over and died.
Tunc Jacobus Brown, Se expedire pains That gnawed his chords cordis, Went out on the plains, And quum he got there. [Greek: Oi Barbaroi] met him, Accenderunt ignem Et roasted et ate him." --_J. A. M._
AM RHEIN.
"Oh the Rhine, the Rhine, the Rhine-- Comme c'est beau! wie schön, che bello! He who quaffs thy Lust and Wein, Morbleu! is a lucky fellow.
How I love thy rushing streams, Groves and ash and birch and hazel, From Schaffhausen's rainbow beams Jusqu'à l'echo d'Oberwesel!
Oh, que j'aime thy Brüchen, when The crammed Dampfschiff gaily passes! Love the bronzed pipes of thy men, And the bronzed cheeks of thy lasses!
Oh! que j'aime the 'oui,' the 'bah!' From the motley crowd that flow, With the universal 'ja,' And the Allgemeine 'so!'"
"SERVE-UM-RIGHT."
"'Eh! dancez-vous?' dixit Mein Herr. 'Oui, oui!' the charming maid replied: Vidit ille at once the snare, Looked downas quick, et etiam sighed.
Das Mädchen knew each bona art Stat ludicrans superba sweet; Simplex homo perdit his heart Declares eros ad ejus feet.
'Mein Liebchen,' here exclaims de Herr, 'Lux of mein life, ein rayum shed, Dein oscula let amor share, Si non, alas! meum be dead.'
Ludit das girlus gaily then, Cum scorna much upon her lip: Quid stultuses sunt all you men, Funus to give you omnes slip.
Mein Herr uprose cum dignas now, Et melius et wiser man, Der nubis paina on his brow, To his dark domus cito ran.
Nunc omnes you qui eager hear Meas tell of cette falsa maid, Of fascinatus girl beware Lest votre folly sic be paid."
TO A FRIEND AT PARTING.
"I often wished I had a friend, Dem ich mich anvertraun Könnt, A friend in whom I could confide, Der mit mir theilte Freud und Leid; Had I the riches of Girard-- Ich theilte mit ihm Haus und Heerd: For what is gold? 'Tis but a passing metal, Der Henker hol' für mich den ganzen Bettel. Could I purchase the world to live in it alone, Ich gäb', däfur nich eine noble Bohn'; I thought one time in you I'd find that friend, Und glaubte schon mein Sehnen hät ein End; Alas! your friendship lasted but in sight, Doch meine grenzet an die Ewigkeit."
AD PROFESSOREM LINGUÆ GERMANICÆ.
"Oh why now sprechen Sie Deutsch? What pleasure say can Sie haben? You cannot imagine how much You bother unfortunate Knaben.
Liebster Freund! give bessere work, Nicht so hard, ein kurtzerer lesson, Oh then we will nicht try to shirk Und unser will geben Sie blessin'.
Oh, ask us nicht now to decline 'Meines Bruders grössere Häuser;' 'Die Fasser' of 'alt rother Wein' Can give us no possible joy, sir.
Der Müller may tragen ein Rock Eat schwartz Brod und dem Käsè, Die Gans may be hängen on hoch, But what can it matter to me, sir?
Return zu Ihr own native tongue, Leave Dutch und Sauer Kraut to the Dutchmen; And seek not to teach to the young The Sprache belonging to such men.
Und now 'tis my solemn belief That if you nicht grant this petition, Sie must schreiben mein Vater ein Brief, To say that ich hab' ein Condition.'" --_Yale Courant._
POME OF A POSSUM.
"The nox was lit by lux of Luna, And 'twas nox most opportuna To catch a possum or a coona; For nix was scattered o'er this mundus, A shallow nix, et non profundus. On sic a nox with canis unus, Two boys went out to hunt for coonus. Unis canis, duo puer, Nunquam braver, nunquam truer, Quam hoc trio unquam fuit, If there was I never knew it. The corpus of this bonus canis, Was full as long as octo span is, But brevior legs had canis never Quam had hic dog; et bonus clever Some used to say, in stultum jocum, Quod a field was too small locum For sic a dog to make a turnus Circum self from stem to sternus. This bonus dog had one bad habit, Amabat much to tree a rabbit-- Amabat plus to chase a rattus, Amabat bene tree a cattus. But on this nixy moonlight night, This old canis did just right. Nunquam treed a starving rattus, Nunquam chased a starving cattus, But cucurrit on, intentus On the track and on the scentus, Till he treed a possum strongum, In a hollow trunkum longum; Loud he barked, in horrid bellum, Seemed on terra venit pellum; Quickly ran the duo puer, Mors of possum to secure; Quum venerit, one began To chop away like quisque man; Soon the axe went through the truncum, Soon he hit it all kerchunkum; Combat deepens; on ye braves! Canis, pueri et staves; As his powers non longuis tarry, Possum potest non pugnare, On the nix his corpus lieth, Down to Hades spirit flieth, Joyful pueri, canis bonus, Think him dead as any stonus. Now they seek their pater's domo, Feeling proud as any homo, Knowing, certe, they will blossom Into heroes, when with possum They arrive, narrabunt story, Plenus blood et plenior glory. Pompey, David, Samson, Cæsar, Cyrus, Blackhawk, Shalmaneser! Tell me where est now the gloria, Where the honours of Victoria? Quum ad domum narrent story, Plenus sanguine, tragic, gory. Pater praiseth, likewise mater, Wonders greatly younger frater. Possum leave they on the mundus, Go themselves to sleep profundus, Somniunt possums slain in battle, Strong as ursæ, large as cattle.
When nox gives way to lux of morning-- Albam terram much adorning,-- Up they jump to see the varmen, Of the which this is the carmen. Lo! possum est resurrectum! Ecce pueri dejectum. Ne relinquit track behind him, Et the pueri never find him. Cruel possum! bestia vilest, How the pueros thou beguilest; Pueri think non plus of Cæsar, Go ad Orcum, Shalmaneser, Take your laurels, cum the honour, Since ista possum is a goner!"
The following "Society Verses" of Mortimer Collins are given here by way of introducing an imitation of them in macaronic verse:
AD CHLOEN, M.A.
(FRESH FROM HER CAMBRIDGE EXAMINATION.)
"Lady, very fair are you, And your eyes are very blue, And your nose; And your brow is like the snow; And the various things you know Goodness knows. And the rose-flush on your cheek, And your Algebra and Greek Perfect are; And that loving lustrous eye Recognises in the sky Every star. You have pouting, piquant lips, You can doubtless an eclipse Calculate; But for your cerulean hue, I had certainly from you Met my fate. If by an arrangement dual I were Adams mixed with Whewell, The same day I, as wooer, perhaps may come To so sweet an Artium Magistra."
TO THE FAIR "COME-OUTER."
"Lady! formosissima tu! Cæruleis oculis have you, Ditto nose! Et vous n'avez pas une faute-- And that you are going to vote, Goodness knows!
And the roseus on your cheek, And your Algebra and Greek, Are parfait! And your jactus oculi Knows each star that shines in the Milky Way!
You have pouting, piquant lips, Sans doute vous pouvez an eclipse Calculate! Ne cærulum colorantur, I should have in you, instanter, Met my fate!
Si, by some arrangement dual, I at once were Kant and Whewell; It would pay-- Procus noti then to come To so sweet an Artium Magistra!
Or, Jewel of Consistency, Si possem clear-starch, cookere, Votre learning Might the leges proscribere-- Do the pro patria mori, I, the churning!"
Here are a few juvenile specimens, the first being a little-known old nursery ballad:
THE FOUR BROTHERS.
"I had four brothers over the sea, Perrimerri dictum, Domine: And each one sent a present to me; Partum quartum, peredecentum, Perrimerri dictum, Domine.
The first sent a cherry without any stone; Perrimerri dictum, Domine: The second a chicken without any bone, Partum quartum, peredecentum, Perrimerri dictum, Domine.
The third sent a blanket without any thread; Perrimerri dictum, Domine: The fourth sent a book that no man could read; Partum quartum, peredecentum, Perrimerri dictum, Domine.
When the cherry's in the blossom, it has no stone; Perrimerri dictum, Domine: When the chicken's in the egg, it has no bone; Partum quartum, peredecentum, Perrimerri dictum, Domine.
When the blanket's in the fleece, it has no thread; Perrimerri dictum, Domine: When the book's in the press, no man can it read; Partum quartum, peredecentum, Perrimerri dictum, Domine."
LITTLE BO-PEEP.
"Parvula Bo-peep Amisit her sheep, Et nescit where to find 'em; Desere alone, Et venient home, Cum omnibus caudis behind 'em."
JACK AND JILL.
"Jack cum amico Jill, Ascendit super montem; Johannes cecedit down the hill, Ex forte fregit frontem."
THE TEETOTUM.
"Fresh from his books, an arch but studious boy, Twirl'd with resilient glee his mobile toy; And while on single pivot foot it set, Whisk'd round the board in whirring pirouette, Shriek'd, as its figures flew too fast to note 'em, _Te totum amo, amo te, Teetotum_."
Schoolboys and college youths not unfrequently adorn their books with some such macaronic as this:
"Si quisquis furetur, This little libellum, Per Bacchum, per Jovem, I'll kill him, I'll fell him; In venturum illius I'll stick my scalpellum, And teach him to steal My little libellum."
Inscriptions and epitaphs are often the vehicles of quaint and curious diction, and of these we give some instances:
THE SIGN OF THE "GENTLE SHEPHERD OF SALISBURY PLAIN."
(_On the road from Cape Town to Simon's Bay, Cape of Good Hope._)
"Multum in parvo, pro bono publico; Entertainment for man or beast all of a row. Lekker host as much as you please; Excellent beds without any fleas; Nos patrum fugimus--now we are here, Vivamus, let us live by selling beer On donne à boire et á manger ici; Come in and try it, whoever you be."
IN THE VISITORS' BOOK AT NIAGARA FALLS.
"Tres fratres stolidii, Took a boat at Niagri; Stormus arose et windus erat, Magnum frothum surgebat, Et boatum overturnebat, Et omnes drowndiderunt Quia swimmere non potuerunt!"
IN THE VISITORS' BOOK OF MOUNT KEARSARGE HOUSE.
(_Summit of Mount Kearsarge, North Conway, N.H._)
"Sic itur ad astra, together; But much as we aspire, No purse of gold, this summer weather, Could hire us to go higher!"
The following epitaph is to be found in Northallerton Churchyard:
"Hic jacet Walter Gun, Sometime landlord of the _Sun_, Sic transit gloria mundi! He drank hard upon Friday, That being an high day, Took his bed and died upon Sunday!"
There are no macaronic authors nowadays, though poems of this class are still to be had in colleges and universities; but everything pertaining to college life is ephemeral, coming in with Freshman and going out with Senior. College students are the prolific fathers of a kind of punning Latin composition, such as:
"O _unum_ sculls. You _damnum_ sculls. _Sic transit_ drove a _tu pone tandem temo ver_ from the north."
"He is visiting his _ante_, Mrs. _Dido Etdux_, and intends stopping here till _ortum_."
"He _et super_ with us last evening, and is a terrible fellow. He _lambda_ man almost to death the other evening, but he got his match--the other man _cutis nos_ off for him and _noctem_ flat _urna_ flounder."
"Doctores! Ducum nex mundi nitu Panes; tritucum at ait. Expecto meta fumen, and eta beta pi. Super attente one--Dux, hamor clam pati; sum parates, homine, ices, jam, etc. Sideror hoc."
In a similar dialect to this, Dean Swift and Dr. Sheridan used to correspond. In this way:
"Is his honor sic? Præ letus felis pulse."
The Dean once wrote to the Doctor:
"Mollis abuti, No lasso finis, Has an acuti, Molli divinis."
To which the Doctor responded:
"I ritu a verse o na Molli o mi ne, Asta lassa me pole, a lædis o fine; I ne ver neu a niso ne at in mi ni is, A manat a glans ora sito fer diis.
De armo lis abuti, hos face an hos nos is As fer a sal illi, as reddas aro sis, Ac is o mi Molli is almi de lite, Illo verbi de, an illo verbi nite."
At this the Dean settles the whole affair by--
"Apud in is almi de si re, Mimis tres I ne ver re qui re; Alo' ver I findit a gestis, His miseri ne ver at restis."
Sydney Smith proposed as a motto for a well-known fish-sauce purveyor the following line from Virgil (_Æn._ iv. I):
"_Gravi jam_dudum _saucia_ curâ."
When two students named Payne and Culpepper were expelled from college, a classmate wrote:
"_Poen_ia perire potest; _Culpa per_ennis est."
And Dr. Johnson wrote the following epitaph on his cat:
"_Mi-cat_ inter omnes."
A gentleman at dinner helped his friend to a potato, saying--"I think that is a good mealy one." "Thank you," was the reply, "it could not be _melior_."
Another gentleman while driving one day was asked by a lady if some fowls they passed were ducks or geese. One of the latter at the moment lifting up its voice, the gentleman said, "That's your _anser_!"
"Well, Tom, are you sick again?" asked a student of his friend, and was answered in English and in Latin, "_Sic sum_."
Victor Hugo was once asked if he could write English poetry. "Certainement," was the reply, and he sat down and wrote this verse:
"Pour chasser le spleen J'entrai dans un inn; O, mais je bus le gin, God save the queen!"
In the "Innocents Abroad" of Mark Twain he gives a letter written by his friend Mr. Blucher to a Parisian hotel-keeper, which was as follows:
"'MONSIEUR LE LANDLORD: Sir--_Pourquoi_ don't you _mettez_ some _savon_ in your bed-chambers? _Est-ce-que-vous pensez_ I will steal it? _Le nuit passeé_ you charged me _pour deux chandelles_ when I only had one; _hier vous avez_ charged me _avec glace_ when I had none at all; _tout les jours_ you are coming some fresh game or other upon me, _mais vous ne pouvez pas_ play this _savon_ dodge on me twice. _Savon_ is a necessary _de la vie_ to anybody but a Frenchman, _et je l'aurai hors de cette hotel_ or make trouble. You hear me.--_Allons._
BLUCHER.'"
"I remonstrated," says Mr. Twain, "against the sending of this note, because it was so mixed up that the landlord would never be able to make head or tail of it; but Blucher said he guessed the old man could read the French of it, and average the rest."
Productions like the preceding, and like that with which we conclude are continually finding their way into print, and are always readable, curious, and fresh for an idle hour.
POCAHONTAS AND CAPTAIN SMITH.
(JAMESTOWN, A.D. 1607.)
"Johannes Smithus, walking up a streetus, met two ingentes Ingins et parvulus Ingin. Ingins non capti sunt ab Johanne, sed Johannes captus est ab ingentibus Inginibus. Parvulus Ingin run off hollerin, et terrifficatus est most to death. Big Ingin removit Johannem ad tentem, ad campum, ad marshy placem, papoosem, pipe of peacem, bogibus, squawque. Quum Johannes examinatus est ab Inginibus, they condemnati sunt eum to be cracked on capitem ab clubbibus. Et a big Ingin was going to strikaturus esse Smithum with a clubbe, quum Pocahontas came trembling down, et hollerin, 'Don't ye duit, don't ye duit!' Sic Johannes non periit, sed grew fat on corn bread et hominy."
_LINGUISTIC VERSE._
One of the most curious efforts in the way of teaching a language was that attempted by a work published originally in Paris, in 1862, entitled "O Novo Guia em Portuguez e Inglez. Par Jose de Fonseca e Pedro Carolina," or the New Guide to Conversation in Portuguese and English. Mr. G. C. Leland writes us that Fonseca "manufactured" this work by procuring a book of French dialogues, which he put word by word into English--(by the aid of a dictionary)--"of which he knew not a word, and what is strangest, did not learn a word, even while writing his _Guide_. That he really humbugged his bookseller appears from this that he induced the poor victim to publish a large English dictionary!" This book has been reprinted, as a literary curiosity, and may be had at Quaritch's, 15 Piccadilly, London, under the title of "A New Guide to the English," by Pedro Carolina; Fonseca having taken his name out, and dating the book from "Pekin,"--this being a mere joke. However, the original was a serious work, and by way of introduction to a poem in the Fonseca English, kindly given us by Professor E. H. Palmer, we give a few particulars of and extracts from the work itself, and here is the Preface:
"A choice of familiar dialogues, clean of gallicisms and despoiled phrases, it was missing yet to studious portuguese and brazilian Youth; and also to persons of other nations that wish to know the portuguese language. We sought all we may do, to correct that want, composing and divising the present little work in two parts. The first includes a greatest vocabulary proper names by alphabetical order; and the second forty-three Dialogues adapted to the usual precisions of the life. For that reason we did put, with a scrupulous exactness, a great variety own expressions to english and portugues idioms; without to attach us selves (as make some others) almost at a literal translation; translation what only will be for to accustom the portuguese pupils, or foreign, to speak very bad any of the mentioned idioms. We were increasing this second edition with a phraseology, in the first part, and some familiar letters, anecdotes, idiotisms, proverbs, and to second a coin's index.
"The _Works_ which we were confering for this labour, find use us for nothing; but those what were publishing to Portugal, or out. They were almost all composed for some foreign, or for some national little acquainted in the spirit of both languages. It was resulting from that corelessness to rest these _Works_ fill of imperfections and anomalies of style; in spite of the infinite typographical faults which sometimes invert the sense of the periods. It increase not to contain any of those _Works_ the figured pronunciation of the english words, nor the prosodical accent in the portugese: indispensable object whom wish to speak the english and portuguese languages correctly.
"We expect then who the little book (for the care what we wrote him, and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the acceptance of the studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we dedicate him particularly."
The "greatest vocabulary proper names" is in three columns--the first giving the Portuguese, the second the English words, and the third the English pronunciation:
Dô Múndo. Of the world. Ove thi Ueurlde. Os astros. The stars. Thi esters. Môça. Young girl. Yeun-gue guerle. O relâmpago. The flash of lightning. Thi flax ove lait eningue.
The vocabulary fills about fifty pages, and is followed by a series of "familiar phrases," of which a few are here given:
"Do which is that book? Do is so kind to tell me it. Let us go on ours feet. Having take my leave, i was going. This trees make a beauty shade. This wood is full of thief's. These apricots make me & to come water in mouth. I have not stricken the clock. The storm is go over, the sun begin to dissape it. I am stronger which him. That place is too much gracious. That are the dishes whose you must be and to abstain."
Then come the dialogues, and one we give is supposed to take place at a morning call, which commences first with the visitor and the servant:
"'Is your master at home?'--'Yes, sir.' 'Is it up?'--'No, sir, he sleep yet. I go make that he get up.' 'It come in one's? How is it you are in bed yet?'--'Yesterday at evening I was to bed so late that i may not rising me soon that morning.'"
This is followed by a description of the dissipation which led to these late hours--"singing, dancing, laughing, and playing"--
"'What game?'--'To the picket.' 'Who have prevailed upon?'--'I have gained ten lewis.' 'Till at what o'clock its had play one?'--'Untill two o'clock after midnight.'"
But these conversations or dialogues, however amusing, are as nothing when compared with the anecdotes which are given by Fonseca, of which we transcribe a few:
"John II., Portugal King, had taken his party immediately. He had in her court castillians ambassadors coming for treat of the pease. As they had keeped in leng the negotiation he did them two papers in one from which he had wrote _peace_ and on the other _war_--telling them 'Choice you!'"
"Philip, King's Macedonia, being fall, and seeing the extension of her body drawed upon the dust was cry--'Greats Gods! that we may have little part in this Univers!'"
"One eyed was laied against a man which had good eyes that he saw better than him. The party was accepted. 'I had gain over,' said the one eyed; 'why i see you two eyes, and you not look me who one!'"
"The most vertious of the pagans, Socrates, was accused from impiety, and immolated to the fury of the envy and the fanaticism. When relates one's him self that he has been condemned to death for the Athenians--'And then told him, they are it for the nature,--But it is an unjustly,' cried her woman 'would thy replied-him that might be justify?'"
"Cæsar seeing one day to Roma, some strangers, very riches, which bore between her arms little dogs and little monkeies and who was carressign them too tenderly was ask, with so many great deal reason, whether the women of her country don't had some children?"
"Two friends who from long they not were seen meet one's selves for hazard. 'How do is there?' told one of the two. 'No very well, told the other, and i am married from that I saw thee.' 'Good news.' 'Not quit, because I had married with a bad woman.' 'So much worse.' 'Not so much great deal worse; because her dower was from two thousand lewis.' 'Well, that confort.' 'Not absolutely, why i had emplored this sum for to buy some muttons which are all deads of the rot.' 'That is indeed very sorry.' 'Not so sorry, because the selling of hers hide have bring me above the price of the muttons.' 'So you are indemnified.' 'Not quit, because my house where i was disposed my money, finish to be consumed by the flames.' 'Oh, here is a great misfortune!' 'Not so great nor i either, because my wife and my house are burned together!'"
The concluding portion of this Guide is devoted to "Idiotisms and Proverbs," of some of which it is rather difficult to recognise the original, as "To take time by the forelock," is rendered "It want to take the occasion for the hairs!" Here are a few others:
"The walls have hearsay."
"Four eyes does see better than two."
"There is not any ruler without a exception."
"The mountain in work put out a mouse."
"He is like the fish into the water."
"To buy a cat in a pocket."
"To come back at their muttons."
"He is not so devil as he is black."
"Keep the chestnut of the fire with the hand of the cat."
"What come in to me for an ear yet out for another."
"Take out the live coals with the hand of the cat."
"These roses do button at the eyesight."
Enough perhaps has been given about this amusing Guide, and we here introduce Professor E. H. Palmer's verses:
THE PARTERRE.
A POETRY AS THE FONSECA.