Part 3

JERVIS. Well, she can’t. I won’t have it. Why! She’s had to give thanks for every mouthful she ever ate! I wonder she didn’t choke. This college business comes as a free gift from Heaven.

MISS P. Don’t you want to watch her progress?

_READY Sadie Kate_

JERVIS. From a distance. They can send me her reports.

MISS P. A college doesn’t send reports.

JERVIS. (_Sits. Thinking out loud_) Well, let me see. We’re to make a writer of the girl? H’m—there’s no better practice in composition than good, old-fashioned letter writing. She may write me a letter on the first of every month, telling about her studies and her daily life—just such a letter as she would write to her parents—if—she had any.

MISS P. She will have to know your name.

JERVIS. Tell her Smith. John Smith. She will address her letters to Mr. John Smith—in care of my secretary, just as the boys do their reports. But she’s never to expect any answer. (_Rises_) I can’t have Judy a nuisance.

MISS P. I will explain the best I can. (_Rises._)

JERVIS. And don’t explain to anyone else. We must keep it a secret (_Looks off R. I. E._) for the girl’s sake. Let her forget the asylum. (_Back of MISS P._) Blot the word “orphan” out of her mind. (_Turns up._)

(_SADIE KATE enters from L.2E. and puts a spoon on lower table._)

MISS P. (_Crosses to R. of JERVIS_) Sadie Kate, run quick and call Judy Abbott.

(_SADIE exits R., calling “Judy—Judy.”_)

JERVIS. (_Going up C._) And now I must run. I don’t want the child to see me. Get her some pretty frocks—and all that sort of nonsense. Good-bye. (_Ad lib._)

_DIM_

MISS P. Good-bye! Thank you! Thank you! (_Follows him up stage and watches him off as JUDY dejectedly enters at R. She comes to R. C. to MISS P. MISS P. turns, sees JUDY and goes to her._)

JUDY. (_With dead voice_) Well—what are they going to do with me?

MISS P. (_Very kindly_) Nothing dreadful.

JUDY. (_Sits on bench L._) I didn’t mean to break out that way—but when you think bitter thoughts for years and years, some day—suddenly—they just won’t stay inside you any longer. (_Turning away._)

MISS P. Judy—(_Sits by JUDY_)—I have good news for you. (_JUDY faces front_) Something wonderful is going to happen to you.

JUDY. (_Slowly facing MISS P._) Wonderful?

MISS P. Judy—a gentleman—one of our trustees—is going to send you to college.

JUDY. (_Rising. MISS P. also_) To college? Me? (_MISS P. nods affirmatively to her question_) Oh!

MISS P. With pretty new frocks and everything.

JUDY. (_To MISS P._) You mean—I’m going just like any other girl—who has a real father and mother?

MISS P. Yes, dear.

JUDY. (_Slowly grasping the situation and as though choking over her joy, crosses over L._) _Oh, oh_, oh! It sounds just like the fairy stories I make up to tell the children.

MISS P. It’s true, dear.

JUDY. (_Turning to MISS P. breathlessly_) Who is he?

MISS P. No one you know.

_READY Light_

JUDY. He wasn’t here? To-day? Not one of those men?

_WARN CURTAIN_

MISS P. Yes.

JUDY. I didn’t look at them. What’s he like? What’s his name?

MISS P. You are not to know his name—his real name. You may call him Mr. Smith.

JUDY. Smith?

MISS P. Mr. John Smith. He will be your guardian.

JUDY. My guardian! I’ll belong to him? And I won’t belong to the asylum any more? I’ll belong just to him?

MISS P. Yes, dear!

JUDY. (_Turns—crying_) Oh, I’m so happy! I’m so happy! (_Turns to MISS P._) Where is he? I want to tell him. I want to see him.

MISS P. You cannot see him, dear.

JUDY. But I want to know what he’s like. I’ll never bother him—never—if I may see him just once. So I can think about him. Oh, please, please, just this once? Please, please! (_Sobbing, she places her head on MISS P.’S shoulder, who lays her arms around JUDY tenderly and mothers her. A spotlight off L., swinging around on a pivot, throws a light through upper window around the room, indicating the approach of an automobile._)

MISS P. Hush, dear. I promised to keep it a secret. (_JUDY sobs again_) But, he’s there—outside now! (_Horn_) Waiting for his car. (_JUDY turns quickly, but MISS P. holds her at arm’s length_) No, no, dear—it’s too dark to see his face, but there, reflected on the wall, you can see his shadow! (_She releases JUDY, who crosses to table, looking off through window L._)

JUDY. Oh, if I could only see his face. At last I have the shadow of a father. Oh, my daddy—my daddy⸺ (_Laughing_) Look—what funny long legs the shadow has. I never saw such long legs. I know⸺ (_Turning to MISS P._) I’ll call him my dear, old Daddy Long-Legs.

CURTAIN

1st Curtain—Grown-ups and Judy—not Jervis. 2nd Curtain—All children. Jervis. 3rd Curtain—All children. 4th Curtain—Judy.

ACT II

SCENE: _JUDY’S college study, an afternoon in May, one year later. A plan and full description of the scene will be found at the end of the play._

AT RISE: _JULIA and SALLIE are discovered hastily putting the room in order. JULIA down L., with a child’s broom, is sweeping and working up stage to couch. Sweeps dust under rug. SALLIE, at R., is dusting picture R. of window, then crosses down to chair L. of table C. and holds up Tam-o’-shanter cap and tennis racquet._

SALLIE. (_R. up, comes down_) What on earth shall I do with these?

JULIA. (_L. down. Crossing to R. of table_) Dump them under the couch. (_SALLIE goes up and throws things under the couch. JULIA picks up a coat and a sweater from the floor C._) Isn’t it just our luck to have the whole family come bursting in without a word of warning? (_Crosses R. and throws things into room R.2._)

SALLIE. (_Coming L. of table to chair—Crosses L._) Your mother and Miss Pritchard did look shocked when they saw this room. (_Crosses L., throwing basket-ball and mask into room U.L. under couch._)

JULIA. (_Crossing to chair R. of table, picking up racquet and coat_) They ought to let us know before they surprise us. I invited them for the reception this evening. I didn’t ask them to spend the day. (_Crosses R., throws things into JUDY’S room and closes door._)

SALLIE. (_To desk L. for golf bag at desk back R._) If they had waited to come with the men on the five o’clock train⸺ (_Sets golf bag above desk in corner._)

JULIA. (_R. of C._) We should have been ready.

SALLIE. (_Crossing C. behind table_) Shut your desk, Julia⸺ (_Which is R. below door_) It’s a sight.

JULIA. (_Pointing to desk up stage R.C. and then crossing down R. to close desk_) No worse than yours. (_Crosses R._)

SALLIE. (_Crosses up, closes desk and then crosses over L. by couch—getting duster from couch and throwing it in room U.L., closing door_) And look at Judy’s, in perfect order!

JULIA. Are there chairs enough?

SALLIE. (_Coming down, counting chairs and crossing over R.C._) Mrs. Pendleton, Miss Pritchard, Judy, Julia, Sallie, brother Jimmie—(_Turning to L. of chair up stage by door_)—and Mr. Jervis Pendleton.

JULIA. (_Crossing up to R. of chair_) That chair won’t do for Uncle Jervis.

SALLIE. Why not?

JULIA. It wobbles on its back leg. (_Rocking chair._)

SALLIE. (_Coming down R.C._) Oh, I forgot. (_Cross R. Indicates chair down R._)

JULIA. (_Crossing to table C._) I nearly dropped when mother said Uncle Jervis was coming.

SALLIE. (_Picks up book from floor R.C. and crosses to desk at R._) Why shouldn’t he?

JULIA. Oh, I bore him to death. This is the first time in years he has taken the slightest notice of me. (_Crosses up and puts fencing foils behind couch._)

SALLIE. Men love to visit a girls’ college. It’s like going to the menagerie and watching the animals eat.

JULIA. (_Crossing C. back of table and looking despondently at the table_) What’ll we ever do with this mess?

SALLIE. (_Crossing to R. of table, seizing two corners of the cover_) You take the other end and we’ll carry it into your room. (_Moves toward the door R., but JULIA, holding the other end of cloth, holds back._)

JULIA. No! We’ll put it in yours. (_She starts towards door U.L. and SALLIE holds her back._)

SALLIE. It’s full up. You couldn’t squeeze a postage stamp into my room.

JULIA. We’ll take it into Judy’s and dump it on the bed.

SALLIE. Poor Judy! (_Laughing, they go to room down L. and exit. Series of slight crashes heard. SALLIE returns and crosses to table up stage and picks up a teacup from tray. JULIA returns with the cover for table and crosses below table arranging cover, and goes behind table. SALLIE blows into the cup._) My, these teacups are awfully dusty!

JULIA. (_Behind table C._) Oh! It won’t show when the tea is in.

SALLIE. Where’s the kettle? (_Both girls look around the room._)

JULIA. (_Cross R._) The kettle? The kettle? Oh, under the couch. (_SALLIE goes to couch, kneels down and gets kettle. A knock is heard on the door_) Good gracious, who’s that?

SALLIE. (_Crossing to table C. with kettle_) Set that chair over the inkspot.

(_JULIA sets chair R. of table, over the inkspot and SALLIE goes up with kettle to table above as MRS. PENDLETON and MISS PRITCHARD enter._)

JULIA. Ah, Mother!

MRS. PENDLETON. (_Coming down_) Well, girls, still at work? (_Crosses to L. of table C._) How quickly you have put your room in order! (_MISS PRITCHARD closes door._)

JULIA. (_Behind C. table_) Oh, there’s nothing like a college education for teaching one to be a good housekeeper. (_Goes up to window seat, putting odds and ends on seat into the top drawer; MISS PRITCHARD coming down to R. of C. table._)

SALLIE. (_Coming down L. of C. table_) Did you like the basket-ball game, Mrs. Pendleton?

MRS. P. (_Sitting L. of table_) It was very unladylike.

JULIA. (_Facing front_) Where’s Judy?

MISS P. (_Sitting R. of table_) She had to go to a rehearsal. (_Sits._)

SALLIE. She has too many engagements. (_Up to couch, arranging pillow._)

MRS. P. Julia, what sort of people does Judy Abbott come from?

JULIA. (_Coming R. of MRS. PENDLETON_) I haven’t the slightest idea, Mother.

MRS. P. Doesn’t she ever mention her family?

JULIA. She told me that she was descended from the first man ever hanged in the United States. (_After laugh—a knock sounds on the door at back. JULIA crosses to open it._)

MRS. P. What an extraordinary thing to boast of!

JULIA. (_Opens door and takes card from the maid_) Mr. James McBride. (_Crosses R.C. SALLIE crosses to C._) Here’s your brother, Sallie.

SALLIE. (_Above C. table_) Ask him to come up.

MRS. P. Have you permission?

SALLIE. Just going to get it. The room’s upholstered in chaperones. (_Crosses to desk and arranging it._)

MRS. P. (_Turning to maid_) There will be another gentleman. Have the maid send him up when he comes.

MAID. Yes, ma’am. (_Closes door._)

MRS. P. (_To MISS PRITCHARD_) Jervis is taking such an interest in Julia’s college career.

JULIA. (_R.C. Turning to them_) Yes, I wonder what struck him all of a sudden.

MRS. P. He proposed coming of his own accord.

MISS P. That’s very nice!

JULIA. (_Turning front_) What are we going to give them to eat?

SALLIE. (_Crosses to L. of JULIA_) Oh, I wonder!

MRS. P. (_Shocked_) Haven’t you prepared?

JULIA. We’ve been too busy.

SALLIE. (_Crosses to C. above table_) Judy promised to make some fudge.

JULIA. She forgot it. (_Crosses L. of JUDY’S desk._)

MRS. P. But you don’t want candy for tea?

JULIA. Oh, yes, you do. It takes away your appetite so you don’t mind what you get for dinner. (_Knock on door. SALLIE crosses to R. and opens door. JIMMIE MCBRIDE enters._)

SALLIE. Oh, hello, Jimmie. (_MRS. PENDLETON and MISS PRITCHARD both rise._)

JIMMIE. (_Kissing SALLIE_) Hello, sis. (_SALLIE and JIMMIE come down stage._)

SALLIE. Miss Pritchard, do you know my brother?

(_MISS PRITCHARD rises—SALLIE takes JIMMIE’S hat and crosses to couch with it. JIMMIE exchanges greetings with MISS PRITCHARD._)

MISS P. Delighted to meet you!

MRS. P. (_Crossing to C. of table_) How do you do, Jimmie?

JIMMIE. (_Crossing to MRS. PENDLETON_) Mrs. Pendleton! (_Shaking hands with her._)

JULIA. (_At L._) Good afternoon, Jimmie!

(_JIMMIE crosses to JULIA as MRS. PENDLETON crosses to MISS PRITCHARD R. of table by chair._)

JIMMIE. (_Crosses to R. of JULIA_) Miss Julia Pendleton. (_Bowing elaborately_) Yours to command! Well, I never was invited up here before. Why am I thus honored?

SALLIE. (_Coming down R. of JIMMIE_) We’re giving a tea.

MRS. P. I wonder what’s become of my brother-in-law. He should have been on your train.

JIMMIE. An opulent gentleman who takes a taxi?

JULIA. Yes.

JIMMIE. My trolley passed him on the hill.

(_A knock sounds on door. JULIA crosses to open door._)

SALLIE. Ah—voila.

(_JULIA opens door and JERVIS enters._)

JULIA. Ah! Uncle Jervis. (_Kisses him and closes door, then takes box of candy he has brought and with an air of mock obsequiousness turns to announce him in the manner of a butler_) The Honorable Mr. Jervis Pendleton, and five pounds of candy!

(_Positions are JERVIS at R., JULIA L. of JERVIS, MISS PRITCHARD R. of table C., MRS. PENDLETON L. of MISS PRITCHARD, SALLIE L. of table, and JIMMIE L. by JUDY’S desk._)

JERVIS. (_Coming down to greet MISS PRITCHARD, and then MRS. PENDLETON as MISS PRITCHARD crosses to R., and sits at desk. SALLIE gets a pair of scissors from shelf underneath table and helps JULIA open box of candy. JERVIS turns to JULIA as MRS. PENDLETON crosses to R., taking chair L. of MISS PRITCHARD_) Ah, ladies, I trust I’m not late!

JULIA. Early. We haven’t permission to have you yet. This is Sallie McBride, my roommate. (_JERVIS crosses to R. of table, shakes hands with SALLIE, who then joins JULIA above table._) And her brother, Jimmie!

JIMMIE. Oh! I say⸺

JULIA. Oh, pardon—Mr. James McBride of Yale.

JERVIS. (_C. of table. JIMMIE crosses to shake hands with him_) How do you do?

JIMMIE. How are you?

(_SALLIE drops down L. of JIMMIE and JULIA L. of SALLIE._)

JERVIS. Is this your first visit, Mr. McBride?

JIMMIE. No—fourth.

JERVIS. Fourth? Well, well—very devoted brother.

SALLIE. Yes, isn’t he? (_Giving short burlesque laugh_) Ha!—Oh, by the way, Jimmie⸺ (_JERVIS starts to cross R. and up—back turned._) You won’t be able to see Judy Abbott this time. (_JERVIS stops to listen._)

JIMMIE. Why not?

SALLIE. Why, because she⸺

JULIA. Has the mumps!

JIMMIE. Oh, I say! Why didn’t you telegraph me not to come?

SALLIE. I thought you came to see me.

JIMMIE. Well, in a way, I did.

SALLIE. And in a way you didn’t.

JULIA. Calm yourself. She hasn’t the mumps.

SALLIE. She’ll be here in a few minutes. (_Crosses in front to R. MRS. PENDLETON and MISS PRITCHARD._)

JIMMIE. (_Crosses L. and sits at desk_) Ah, I breathe again.

JERVIS. (_R.C. Watches JIMMIE, then turns to JULIA, politely interested_) And—who is Miss Judy Abbott?

JULIA. Our other roommate. We three have this study together.

JERVIS. I see. A very pleasant arrangement.

JULIA. Sit down, Uncle Jervis. Don’t mind us. We’re getting the tea.

(_JERVIS turns to the wobbly chair and is about to sit when SALLIE screams and hastily crosses, preventing him also from occupying chair. As she screams, JERVIS starts back and JIMMIE jumps up._)

SALLIE. Oh! This chair isn’t comfortable. (_Takes JERVIS’S hat and gloves, goes down behind C. table_) Take _that_ chair. (_Indicating chair over inkspot. JERVIS comes down, and is about to move chair over to MRS. PENDLETON. SALLIE puts hat and gloves on couch._)

JULIA. (_Hastily interposing, screams and again JERVIS starts back—JIMMIE up L.C._) No, no. You mustn’t move it, Uncle Jervis.

JERVIS. (_Puzzled_) Why not?

JULIA. Well, take that chair. (_Indicates chair L. of table._)

JERVIS. Thanks! I’ll stand! (_Turns to L. of MRS. PENDLETON. SALLIE has gone to tea table and JULIA turns up and joins SALLIE. She stands on couch. JIMMIE crosses over R. at back between MRS. PENDLETON and MISS PRITCHARD._)

SALLIE. (_Holding up bottle_) We’re all out of alcohol.

JULIA. Maybe there’s enough in the lamp.

SALLIE. (_Opening matchbox_) Oh, we’re all out of matches.

JERVIS. (_Turns, takes match-safe from pocket and crosses up to table_) Allow me.

SALLIE. (_L. of table_) Thank you. Will you please light that? (_Indicates the spirit lamp._)

JULIA. (_Peering into sugar bowl_) Only one lump of sugar!

MRS. P. I don’t take sugar.

JULIA. Do you take sugar, Uncle Jervis?

JERVIS. Four lumps! (_With back to audience, pretending to light lamp._)

JULIA. We’ll borrow some. (_Up to couch_) Where’s the tea?

SALLIE. In the bookcase. (_JULIA begins to look at one end of bookcase_) No, no. Back of Kipling! (_JULIA goes to C. shelf as SALLIE holds up cream pitcher. JERVIS saunters down R.C._) We haven’t any cream.

JULIA. We’ll give them lemons.

SALLIE. Lemons, lemons! Oh, here’s one. (_L. of C. table, and taking a tobacco skull from table; takes out one decrepit lemon._)

JERVIS. Is that a lemon?

(_JULIA comes down L. with tea-caddy._)

SALLIE. Yes.

JERVIS. It looks it. (_Sits R. of table. SALLIE returns lemon and skull to table._)

JULIA. (_Peering into the caddy_) We’re all out of tea.

MRS. P. Oh, my dear!

MISS P. I’m not in the least hungry.

JIMMIE. (_Crossing to L. of MRS. PENDLETON_) I am.

JULIA. (_Down L. SALLIE L. of table_) You all came too early. This party hasn’t commenced yet.

SALLIE. (_To JULIA_) Julia, you hunt around and find something to eat while I get permission from the Dean. (_Crosses over R.C. and up, opening the door._)

MRS. P. (_Rising_) I should like to meet the Dean. (_Joins SALLIE up stage._)

JULIA. (_Up to table with tea-caddy_) Good idea, Mother. She can see with her own eyes that you are a perfectly capable chaperon. (_MRS. PENDLETON and SALLIE exit. JERVIS drops behind table C. JULIA crosses over R._) Come along, Jimmie. (_JIMMIE crosses up to her as JERVIS goes down L. of C. table._) It’s not proper to leave you here.

JERVIS. Proper to leave me?

JULIA. (_Turning to him_) Mercy, yes! When a man’s as old as _you_ are⸺

JERVIS. Yes, I know. He ought to be chloroformed.

JULIA. (_Laughs_) And don’t let the kettle boil over. (_Exits with JIMMIE, closing door._)

JERVIS. (_Crossing to R. of table C., and a little eagerly_) Have you seen her?

MISS P. Yes.

JERVIS. Well?

MISS P. (_Crossing to JERVIS_) Oh, she’s wonderful! I don’t believe you’d recognize her.

JERVIS. I was trying to remember the other day what she looked like. All I can recall is a mass of light hair and a pug nose.

MISS P. You’ll be surprised.

JERVIS. (_Cross L._) No. Nothing will surprise me any more.

MISS P. What do you mean?

JERVIS. I’ve had nineteen letters from Judy this winter.

MISS P. You answer them?

JERVIS. _No!_ Of course I don’t answer them. I told you I wouldn’t.

MISS P. But you _read_ them?

JERVIS. Yes, certainly. Why not?

MISS P. I was afraid—maybe you’d turn them over to your secretary.

JERVIS. (_Down in front of table, hands in pockets_) Oh, no! Little Judy’s letters are not the sort I could allow my secretary to read.

MISS P. (_Anxiously_) What are they like?

JERVIS. (_Teasing her_) Disgraceful!

MISS P. (_Horrified. Rises_) What?

JERVIS. Shocking!

MISS P. Jervis!

JERVIS. Scandalous!

MISS P. Oh, no!

JERVIS. She makes love to me.

MISS P. The child thinks you are her father.

JERVIS. The child knows perfectly well that I am not her father.

MISS P. She thinks you are an old man.

JERVIS. (_Rises. Indignantly_) I’m not an old man. I won’t be treated like an old man.

MISS P. Please don’t be angry⸺

JERVIS. She draws pictures of me. (_Sits L. of table._)

MISS P. Oh! I’m sorry⸺

JERVIS. She draws me bald-headed—without any hair—and legs that are long.

MISS P. (_Firmly_) It’s not right.

JERVIS. She calls me “Daddy Long-Legs.”

MISS P. I shall give her a good scolding. I can’t have her treating you with disrespect.

JERVIS. I think I rather like being treated with disrespect.

MISS P. (_Reproachfully_) You were joking?

JERVIS. I think Daddy Long-Legs is a very nice name.

MISS P. Then you don’t regret taking charge of her?

JERVIS. Regret it? My dear lady! Her letters alone have been worth the price of admission.

MISS P. You must see the child.

JERVIS. See her? Well, rather. You didn’t suppose I came up here to look at my niece. (_Cross to C.L. to table._)

MISS P. (_Sits R. of C._) Jervis⸺ (_He stops C. of table and turns to her_) It was foolish putting Judy in with those two girls.

JERVIS. Why?

MISS P. You know how particular your sister-in-law is about the people Julia meets and if she ever discovers the truth⸺

JERVIS. (_Hands up in mock horror and walks back of table_) There’ll be the deuce to pay!

MISS P. (_To R. of table_) I don’t know why you insisted⸺

JERVIS. (_Comes down_) What else _could_ I do? I had to keep track of the girl somehow. Now, under cover of visiting my niece, I can very conveniently keep an eye on my ward.

MISS P. But why all this secrecy? It would be simpler if you would just come out openly and say you were the child’s guardian.

JERVIS. Come out openly? My dear lady—you don’t know what a parcel of interfering women I’ve got in my family. They talked enough about the boys I am educating. Do you think they would swallow a girl?

MISS P. It might be awkward.

JERVIS. When five women, with nothing to do, devote their energies to arranging one’s life—a simple man might as well throw up his arms and sink. (_Sits L. of table R._)

MISS P. I don’t blame you for being a woman-hater. (_JERVIS laughs_) But—make an exception in little Judy’s case.

JERVIS. (_Rising and coming to L. of MISS P._) Oh, Judy and I are going to be great friends.

MISS P. I hope so.

JERVIS. Why, of course we are. I feel a proprietary interest in the girl. She belongs to me.

MISS P. Yes, yes, but the future, Jervis.

JERVIS. The future?

MISS P. It’s all very well now, but—what are we going to do with her when the vacations come? We can’t send her back to the Home!

JERVIS. That’s all settled. I’m going to send her to a farm in Connecticut. Lock Willow’s the name.

MISS P. Lock Willow?

JERVIS. Mrs. Semple’s place, you know, my old nurse Lizzie Semple.

MISS P. Oh, yes.

JERVIS. She wanted to spend the summer with the McBrides’, camping somewhere. I knew what was best for her.

(_MISS PRITCHARD is about to speak when they hear someone at the door. MISS PRITCHARD says “Hush” and turns to R. as JERVIS crosses to L. and up. MRS. PENDLETON entering._)

MISS P. (_Crossing R., sits at desk_) Hush!—What a pretty room the girls have!

(_MRS. PENDLETON brings down a plate of buns to table._)

JERVIS. Yes, isn’t it charming. What have you there? (_Crosses over to L. to MRS. PENDLETON._)

MRS. P. Oh, something Sallie stole from a sophomore’s room. (_Crosses to L. of table as JULIA enters—JERVIS going up to tea table L. of C._) This is a very messy way in which to live.

JULIA. (_With a package of crackers, places it on table C._) Kettle boiled? (_Goes up to tea table._)