CHAPTER IV
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But on the evening of the first day there came yet other tidings of a reactive character,
Saying that a confounded abolitionist man-of-war was still there giving block-aid to Uncle Sam.
And HOLLINS, who was in town, being asked what this might mean,
Said, 'Fudge!
'Go to, it is naught. Now I come to think of it, there _was_ one infernal little sneaking 90-gun Yankee frigate,
'Which, hearing of my coming, ran away six hours before the battle--ere that I had peppered 'em.'
But lo! even as he spake came yet another message, declaring there were twain.
Then HOLLINS declared, 'It is a d----d lie, and he who says it is another--an abolitionist is he in his heart. Did I not pepper 'em?'
But lo, even as he sware there came yet another,
Saying, 'Let not my lord be angry, but with these eyes have I seen it; by many others was it perceived.
'Whether the ships which my lord peppered have risen again I know not, but if the whole Yankee fleet isn't there again, all sound and right side up with care, I hope I may be drotted into everlasting turpentine.'
Then the newspapers arose and reviled HOLLINS,
Calling him a humbug--even a humbug called they him.
As for the multitude, they laughed him to scorn; such a blackguarding never received man before,
Calling him an old blower and bloat, a gas-bag and _fanfaron_, a Gascon and a _carajo_, _alma miserabile_, and a pudding-head, a _sacre menteur_ and a _verfluchte prahlerische Hauptesel_, a brassy old blunder-head and a spupsy, _un sot sans pareil_ and a darned old hoffmagander; a pepper-_pot-pourri_, a thafe of the wurreld and an owld baste, the divil's blissing an him!
In French, English, Dutch, Spanish and Irish, Yankee and Creole, yea, even in Nigger and in Natchez Indian, reviled they him.
And the rumor thereof went abroad into all lands, that HOLLINS had been compelled to hand in his horns.
How are the mighty fallen, how is he that was exalted cut down in his salary!
Beware, oh my son, that thou pullest not the long bow ere the bowstring be twisted, or ever the arrow be at hand--send not in thy bill ere the customer have bought the goods.
Sell not the skin ere thou catchest the bear, and give not out thy wedding cards before thou hast popped the question.
For all these things did HOLLINS--verily he hath his reward.
* * * * *
CHRISTOPHER NORTH, in _Blackwood_, and many others since him, have popularized this style of chronicle-English of the sixteenth century, and our contributor has sound precedent for his imitations. 'Should time permit, nor the occasion fail,' we trust to have him with us in the following number. Our thanks are due to some scores of cotemporaries who have republished the last Chronicle, and for the praise which they lavished on it.
* * * * *
To HENRY P. LELAND we are indebted for a
SONNET TO JOHN JONES.
Thou who dost walk round town, not quite unknown, I have a word to speak within thy ear. Hast thou no dread to hear in trumpet tone 'John Jones has got a contract!'--dost not fear Thy children, yet unborn, may then disown The parent, with whose name they thus may hear Transactions worse than usury's heaviest loan Of twenty odd per cent. and more a year? Oh, John! I pray thee that within thy heart The lesson that 'Police Court' teaches thee, That other Jones' rob hen-roosts, and take part In many a rousing fight and drunken spree, May have its influence; and that thou wilt start And have thy name changed, quickly as may be.
Who has not had his attention called to the small, black carpet-bags which so greatly prevail in this very traveling community? Who has not heard of mistakes which have occurred owing to their frequency and similarity, and who in fact has not lost one himself? That these mistakes may sometimes lead to merrily-moving, serio-comic results, is set forth, not badly, as it seems to us, in the following story:--
THE THREE TRAVELLING-BAGS.
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