Part 2

Reformation Martin Luther, fifteen-one-seven, 1517 Sows his Reformation leaven; It finds a culture medium here In the 'New Learning's' atmosphere. Of this New Learning More's the chief, Utopia's Author, He's 'mid grief Beheaded, saying cool and calm, 'Cut not my beard, that's done no harm.' His friend Erasmus, Logic's Master, Trimmed his sails and 'scaped disaster. A third, Dean Colet who St. Paul's School London into being calls. Wolsey In fifteen-thirty Wolsey great, 1530 A Cardinal and Man of State, From Butcher's son had risen high. Reader! consult your Shakespeare nigh. Blamed by some; by others praised; He fell; but still the pile he raised Most nobly graces Hampton Court. Give Wolsey then a tender thought. His main ambition that the King Should be supreme in everything; Thomas And Thomas Cromwell followed suit Cromwell To make his master absolute Head of the Church within his realm. These two most able at the helm; But not with skill enough endued To 'scape their King's ingratitude. Despotical the King's power grew. He's England's Pope by Act of Su- Premacy; as, to gain divorce, The foreign Pope is banned perforce. 1537 Now Bluff King Harry gives the Monks A series of most awful funks; Three thousand odd of their domains He 'collars' for his Courtiers' gains.

Edward VI. Edward Six to the throne succeeds 1547-1553 A pious youth of goodly deeds; One, well known in the Capital, The Blue Coat School (Christ's Hospital).

Mary Queen Mary One, in Smithfield Square, 1553-1558 At Oxford, Gloucester and elsewhere, Burned poor Martyrs by the score; The Romish faith she would restore.

Elizabeth Hail now to thee our good Queen Bess, 1558-1603 Garbed in the puffed and padded dress, Farthingale and starched up frills, Meaning heavy laundry bills. Od's Bodikins; what monstrous ruffs, What gowns of rich embroidered stuffs Piped and scolloped, trimmed with furs, And shaped like huge gasometers. Now we've warfare of the Creeds, For their thoughts all Europe bleeds; Each party seeks by force to make The other side its faith forsake. Spain the Great Power of those days In these contentions first part plays.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic

PLYMOUTH HOE BOWLING CLUB]

Drake Drake at bowls on Plymouth Hoe Left his game to meet this foe And came home laden we are told With seachests full of Spanish gold. Armada In fifteen-eight-eight Armada strong 1588 From Spain to squash us comes along; Which Howard, Frobisher and Drake And stormy weather overtake.

[Illustration: GLOBE THEATRE TONYGHTE Ye TRAGEDYE OFFE HAMLETTE BY WILLIAM SHAKSPERE.

IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic]

Shakespeare And in these epoch making days 1564-1616 Shakespeare wrote and staged his plays; Weaving a thread whose magic strands Entwine all English-speaking lands. Fifteen-eight-seven Scots' Queen Mary Lost her head through fate contrary. When Henry Eight had robbed the Church 'Twas found the poor were in the lurch; Poor Law A law was passed about this date To place the poor upon the rate.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic]

Sir Walter Sir Walter Raleigh, best of Knights, Raleigh The first to taste the keen delights 1552-1618 Of the enchantress so serene, The Ryghte Goode Ladye Nicotine. No information's yet to hand Concerning Raleigh's favourite brand; Tobacco Was it coarse-cut shag which burns The tongue, or birdseye or returns?

[Illustration]

Queen Good Queen Bess we understand Elizabeth Had crowds of suitors for her hand; And here we beg to give a view Of suitors waiting in a queue.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic]

Queen As time rolled on this Good Queen Bess Elizabeth Lost somewhat of her sprightliness; (continued) She got into a nervous state Was mopish and disconsolate. Now, as everyone will own, Had 'Iron Jelloids' been but known In Bess's time; why, it's conceded 'Twas just the Tonic that she needed. East India The great 'John Comp'ny' now began Company Its fine career without a plan. 1600 Great! The Elizabethan Age. In History's book a glorious page.

[Illustration]

Somewhere or other we've heard snuff Came in the days of frill and ruff; And here's a noble ill at ease Giving the first recorded sneeze.

James I. James Six of Scotland, miscalled a 'fule' 1603-1625 As James One of England comes to rule. Gramercy! 'tis a canny thing To be a 'double-barrelled' King. The son of Mary Queen of Scots Of learning he had lots and lots, Writing sundry ponderous books 'Gainst 'bacca, witches and their spooks. James thought his kingly power divine And, loathing Puritanic 'whine,' He vowed to make them all comply Or else he'd 'know the reason why.' Pilgrim Fathers His persecution to escape 1620 Some Zealots in the 'Mayflower' shape Their course for an uncharted world Where Freedom's Flag could be unfurled. These 'Pilgrim Fathers' found a state 'New England,' blessed with happy fate. Folks have called the first King James Most uncomplimentary names; To wit 'a sloven' and 'a glutton'; Perhaps his weakness was Scotch Mutton. And as to gluttony, 'Gadzooks'! If what we read in History books Is true, they all were trenchermen; There were no diet faddists then. It startles us, one must declare, To read their breakfast bill of fare; All 'Kynes' of ale, some highly spiced And divers meats, roast, boiled and sliced. In James' reign a man could get For money down a coronet And titles with the greatest ease Like folks to-day buy soap and cheese. Harvey Yet a learned time; for Harvey shows That blood's not stagnant, but it flows; Lord Bacon 'Experiment!' Lord Bacon cries 'There is no progress otherwise.'

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic

MODEL OF THE NOTORIOUS GUY FAWKES WHICH HOWEVER IS NOT CONSIDERED HISTORICALLY ACCURATE]

5th November Of troubles James had quite a lot, 1605 For instance the Gunpowder Plot. It fizzled out but left to-day A liking for Firework display.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic

THE FIRST CRACKER]

So rockets with their sweeping curves, Crackers which upset the nerves And squibs with their infernal din To this date owe their origin.

Charles I. His son Charles One we understand 1625-1649 Ruled England with a grasping hand; For he was never loth to levy Taxes burdensome and heavy. He moved in an expensive set, Was always heavily in debt; In fact this monarch with his frills Was snowed up to the neck with bills. He was courtly, graceful, distingué, And when the scaffold came his way 'He nothing common did or mean Upon that memorable scene.' He had a very taking way And made his taxed up subjects pay; And over taxing it is said This Monarch fairly lost his head. Petition of The 'Petition of Right' a famous Act, Right--1628 The Commons from the King exact; Giving the subject on his own A remedy against the throne. First In sixteen-hundred-twenty-one Newspaper Our first news-sheet began its run; 1621 For twenty years 'twas going strong Then the first Censor came along. This journal cribbing from the Dutch Lacked the smart journalistic touch; And also photographic views, 'Sporting pars' and 'Stop-press News.'

[Illustration: The Great Struggle in Charles' Time. King Trying to get Money from Taxpayer. Creditor Trying to get Money from King]

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic

_THAT QUIET MAN, KNOWN AS THE EARLY PURITAN._]

Cotton Cotton first came from India's shore 1630 In sixteen-thirty, less or more; Where for three thousand years it grew, Also in Egypt and Peru. Grim reading is the note confessing Gangs went out for Navy pressing, Forcing many a timid knave To spend his life on ocean wave. Ship Money Charles raises the ship money tax; 1636 He thought he only had to 'ax'; When Hampden strenuously objected, The King was very much affected. Strafford Earl Strafford ('Thorough') in his pride 1641 'The King shall rule the Commons' cried; The Commons would not brook such stuff And cut his head off. 'Quantum Suff.' The 'Grand Remonstrance' is put forth By the Commons who are wrath With the King's despotic ways Quite unsuited to these days. The King tries hard to put in jail Five Members but without avail; Hollis, Strode, Haslerig and Pym And Hampden (we must mention him); They're guarded from the Royal hands By Watermen and City Bands. The 'die is cast' and Civil War For seven long years the Nation tore.

Civil Wars Cromwell greatest of the foemen 1642-1648 With his faithful English Yeomen; These 'Roundheads' sober, grim, religious To 'Cavaliers' gave blows prodigious. Their character's seen in the cry 'Trust God and keep your powder dry.' Naseby The Cavaliers and Roundheads fought 1645 In many a field, 'till Naseby brought To Generals Cromwell and Fairfax A crowning victory, though not 'pax.' The King's beheaded, but the State Experiences no headless fate; A commonwealth's forthwith proclaimed And Cromwell's soon Protector named. Dunbar In sixteen-fifty Dunbar sees 1650 The Royal Scots brought to their knees; Worcester And in the second Worcester fight 1651 Cromwell for good asserts his might. And there are those who love to tell About that day at Boscobel When Charles the Second's Majestye Found itself doubly 'up a tree.' And now we meet that quiet man Known as the early Puritan; Mild and placid in his talk, Calm and measured in his walk.

[Illustration: "PAINT ME WARTS AND ALL"

IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic]

Commonwealth Oliver Cromwell bluff and bold, 1649-1660 Was cast in Nature's sternest mould, Lacking maybe the courtly grace And proud of warts upon his face. He fought the Irish and the Scotch And with his navy beat the Dutch Let all his faults condonéd be, He kept us up on land and sea.

[Illustration: "TAKE AWAY THAT BAUBLE"

IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic]

Commonwealth He seemed to like bold argument (continued) And wordy wars with Parliament; He made things lively we infer Frequently at Westminster.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic]

With M.P.s he had many a bout And one day cleared the whole lot out; Locked the door and took the key; Those not the days of 'Wait and See.'

Charles II. Cromwell's death brings Restoration 1660-1685 And Charles Two lands 'mid acclamation. After his leaps from twig to twig He now has 'Otium cum Dig.' In merry Charles the Second's age Woman first acted on the stage; The King encouraged much this vogue He was a pleasure seeking rogue. 'He never said a foolish thing, Nor did a wise one'; this the King Countered with 'My words my own My acts my ministers' alone'; 1662 In sixteen-six-two year of grace, Charles taxed every fire-place; And citizens who couldn't pay Shivered and grumbled as to-day. These were the times of Musketeers And proud and dashing Cavaliers; When words were few and tempers hot And duels fought out on the spot.

John Bunyan The tinker preacher Bunyan wrote The 'Pilgrim's Progress' we still quote, The prison bars no barrier wrought To lowly Bunyan's lofty thought. Milton In stately language Milton's muse 1678 The Bible story doth diffuse; From 'Paradise Lost' we get our view Of Adam and Eve and Satan too. The Reverend Titus Oates, a scamp, Egregious Popish plots did vamp, Lied roundly for dishonest gains, Got Cat-o'-nine-tails for his pains. Habeas Corpus The 'Habeas Corpus' best of laws 1679 Shields us from prison without cause; 'Twas passed in sixteen-seventy-nine, And means 'Produce him here,' in fine. Van Tromp Admiral Van Tromp, Dutchman bold, With broom at masthead, so 'tis told, The Channel sailed, suggesting he's Swept all the English from the seas. Blake But Blake laughed loud and spread his sails Nought the Dutchman now avails; For he got an awful shocker Right to Davy Jones' locker. But though the Dutch failed to invade, They were not disinclined to trade; So we get 'Hollands,' cheese and hams Fresh from the land of Dykes and Dams. Peace of Breda For fifteen years these Navies fought, 1667 'Till sixteen-six-seven respite brought; The Peace of Breda then succeeded; New York to England was conceded. Plague In sixty-five the Plague appears Fire of London And then the Fire; two awful years 1665-1666 For London--And if more you'd know Consult the Pages of Defoe.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic

_QUEEN ANNE AND THE DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH._]

James II. When Charles Two died his brother James 1685-1688 Soon put the country into flames; Papistry he would advance, And for that purpose leagued with France. In sixteen-eight-eight his bigot zeal Religious Test Act would repeal; Seven bold Bishops who defied To the Tower were sent and tried. The country raised a hue and cry So off to France the King doth fly.

William III. His place is filled by William Three 1689-1702 His son-in-law from Dutch countree. This Orange sprig most brave of men With Mary reigns and all things then Went well with us. Macaulay's page Hails him as Hero of the age. In this reign of William Three, Laws were harsh 'gainst burglary; For they'd a very drastic way And hanged the 'Bill Sykes' of that day. National Debt In sixteen-nine-four we have heard 1694 The National Debt was first incurred; To careful folk who would invest 'Twas not devoid of interest. Another National Debt we owe To Iron Jelloids which the foe Depression's worries keep at bay And drive our nervous fears away. Bill of Rights The 'Bill of Rights,' a Charter grand, 1689 In sixteen-eight-nine frees this land From all encroachments of the Crown Hoi Polloi are no longer down.

Queen Anne Good Queen Anne we know is dead; 1702-1714 She reigned twelve years but it is said 'Mrs. Morley,' Marlborough's wife Ruled her more than half her life. Marlborough This was the Duke of Marlborough's day, Who beat the French in every fray; Known for his famous victories At Blenheim and at Ramillies. In seventeen-seven by statute passed English and Scotch unite at last; 'One coinage and one Parliament' Both Nations ever since content. About this time, so runs the story, Much is heard of 'Whig and Tory'; And shortly after there was rife Many a sign of party strife. Dr. Watts Good Dr. Watts' moral lays 1674-1748 Were much reputed in these days; And still we lisp at Mother's knee 'How doth the little Busy Bee.' Pope Pope, letter-writer and great poet, 1688-1744 Most quotable of all (ye know it), At Twickenham penned his caustic verse Epigrammatic, smooth and terse.

George I. The House of Stuart being ended, 1714-1727 George of Hanover (descended From daughter of King Jamie One) Comes over to ascend our throne. Of English George knew not a word, Most awkward, not to say absurd, At Cabinet Councils to preside; So from this time the practice died.

George II. His son George Two succeeding then 1727-1760 In person fought at Dettingen. Both these Kings had various fights In Scotland with the Jacobites. William Tull brings in Post Chaises; Now the people ride like 'blazes.'; Many can't for they're in trouble, Ruined by the South Sea Bubble. Wesleys John and Charles Wesley, men of mind, 1703-1791 Revive Religion in Mankind. Founding a Church both broad and low, One-seven-three-nought A. Domini. Beginning as an office clerk, Clive As soldier Clive soon made his mark, 1746 And conquered India for this Nation; Self 'stounded at his moderation. Bridgwater, Gilbert, Brindley, three Great Engineers this Centurie, Canals Useful canals in England made, The flowing arteries of trade. Quebec General Wolfe seventeen-five-nine 1759 Captures Quebec--a victory fine, And Canada's the splendid prize For old 'John Bull' to colonise.

George III. And now of Georgey number Three: 1760-1820 Ut mulus obstinatus he Had full sixty years of reign And a big family to train.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic

_GEORGIAN TIMES._]

Georgian We will but very lightly scan Times The customs known as 'Georgian'; The times of powdered Belles and Beaux; Patches, paint and furbelows; Of beauteous maids and gallants gay And merry routs at Ranelagh; Gaming parties, cards or pool And 'Fops' of the Beau Brummel School.

[Illustration: "ODDS FAITH THEY SAY THERE'S IRON IN IT"

IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic]

When rank and fashion History tells All took their cures among the Wells; And sipped in manner hesitating Daily doses nauseating. But we know better how to act Our cures we purchase more compact For in the Chemists' you can see 'Iron Jelloids' priced at 'One and Three.' Lord 'Periwig' and gay 'Fallal' In Sedan Chairs frequent the Mall. 'Taxis' and 'Tubes' we beg to state Came in at a much later date. When Brummel, the historic Beau, Made laws for dress and outward show; Whose vests were poems, whose coats were dreams Of gorgeous beauty, so it seems; Who figured in the public gaze A 'Star turn' with his courtly ways; Who fixed the style of a cravat, Lord of Appeal anent a hat. And My Lord Chesterfield was quite The model of the most polite Wrote famous letters. It's a shame, A settee has usurped his name. Dr. Johnson And Dr. Johnson at his ease 1709-1784 Sipped his tea at the 'Cheshire Cheese,' Or at the 'Mitre' of renown, Spreading his wit throughout the Town. Garrick When Garrick as the 'Moody Dane' Drew the Town to Drury Lane, Mrs. Siddons Sarah Siddons was all the rage Tragedy Queen of every age. Highwaymen arméd to the teeth Waited for prey on Hounslow Heath; Per contra the Highwayman's pate Was oft strung up at Tyburn Gate. Capt. Cook It's only right a History book 1728-1779 Should mark the feats of Captain Cook; So jot it down in these our Rhymes That round the World he sailed three times. Inventions These are the days of much invention 1767 The 'Spinning Jenny' we will mention; The 'Cotton Mule' and 'Power Loom'; For Authors' names there's lack of room. Adam Smith In his book 'The Wealth of Nations' 1766 Adam Smith shows the relations Governing the Art of Trading; With influences far pervading. 'Man buys as cheaply as he can And sells as dearly, that's his plan.' 'Supply Demand each other feed Dearer markets cheap ones bleed.' Jenner Jenner brings in vaccination, 1796 Boon to every generation; By similar methods now devised Many an ill is exorcised.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic

_NELSON AND WELLINGTON._]

American War In seventeen-sixty and fifteen 1775 Our Taxes raise the Yankees' spleen. 'Unrepresented, you've no right To tax us, therefore we will fight.' Washington, Franklin and the rest Formed a Republic quite the best; We've long been friends. Let us rejoice; But at the time we had no choice.

French In France in times of Louis Seize (says) Revolution Oppression dire through countless days Roused Revolution with its tears Mainly through books with wrong ideas. Napoleon I. From Revolution's putrid mess 1793-1815 A Conqueror's born, quite conscienceless, Millions of men and women died Victims to Napoleon's pride. He plunged all Europe into Wars His own ambition the sole cause. England as usual did her 'bit' And 'Boney' Europe had to quit. During these years of storm and stress Two noble pilots we possess 'Chatham and Son' (Pitt is their name), Illustrious on the scroll of fame. Nelson 1805 Here we must our homage pay To Nelson of Trafalgar Day; Wellington To Wellington the same is due, Who crowned his fame at Waterloo.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic]

And 'Shiver my timbers,' 'Heave ahoy,' The Tar, those times a breezy boy With shiny hat and pigtail long And love for lass and glass and song. Discovery of About this date Electric Force Electric Force Dawns on mankind. Before, of course, In Lightning it was all about, With noise enough to be found out. Coelo eripuit fulmen, 'Twas said of Franklin, as ye ken. Philosopher of bygone age Accept our homage on this page. But who'd have thought it that Galvani When making soup, (this is no blarney) By his power of observation On a frog's legs' oscillation Should find how by chemic ways Electric currents we can raise? To call him 'great' is no flattery; He set us on the wondrous battery. This simple little frog, Heigh Ho! The frog who would a-wooing go; Thy part in electricity Is unmatched eccentricity. This new discovered fact, of course, Leads to the Telegraph of Morse, The Motor and Electric Light The Telephone and more in sight.

[Illustration: _IN QUEEN VICTORIA'S PALMY DAYS._]

Ireland Of Ireland but a word or two. Celts were her people and they knew Not benefit of Roman Ruling; Young Europa's Infant Schooling. In century five St. Patrick great Converts them to the Christian state; And from this Western Isle afar, English and Scotch converted are. Danes and Two hundred years from nine-nought-nought Ireland Danes raiding Erin trouble brought; And left them in chaotic state No longer masters of their fate. In those days 'twas 'Woe to the weak,' Saxons and Danes had made us squeak, Then came the Normans in great force And civilised us in due course. They tried the same with Ireland green; But only sowed a feud between The land they'd conquered and Erin, Leading to endless quarrelling. England accepts the Reformation, Catholic still the Irish nation Cromwell Sees Cromwell with them battle join Boyne And William beat them at the Boyne. William Pitt in eighteen-nought-nought Ireland and England's welfare sought Act of Union By 'Act of Union' which he passed; 1800 But still the wretched squabbles last.

George IV. Now come George Four and Will his brother; William IV. With these two kings we need not bother; The first a gourmand, bon viveur, The next a sailor, bluff, sans peur. Trevithick, Newcomen, and Watt Are names will never be forgot; For their crude engines were the source Of man's control of Steam's wild force. Steam By eighteen-thirty man has tamed 1830 Steam to his use; and widely famed Was puffing 'Rocket' with the power Of doing thirty miles an hour. Steam prompts man to make machines And Factories rise with all that means; Divided more and more is labour Each man leans more on his neighbour. For twenty million pounds the nation Buys our slaves' emancipation. Reform Act In eighteen-three-two, happy year, The great Reform Act doth appear. Steam vessels the Atlantic cross. The penny post comes into force. And double knocks bring joys and thrills Sometimes cheques, more often bills. Corn Law The Corn Law duty's brushed away, Repeal 18 Hence we enjoy cheap bread to-day.

We fain would linger, but alas, These are the periods we must pass. So gentle reader do not grin At sight of cumbrous crinoline. Victoria Since Queen Victoria's palmy days 1837-1901 Woman has altered all her ways. In those days she was meek and mild And treated almost like a child; Was brought up in a narrow zone; And couldn't call her soul her own. She vegetated, 'tis well known Under the 'cloche' of Chaperone. Woman's But now the 'Franchise' she obtains, Status And her own property retains. What a difference from then, She 'carries on' just like the men. And now at Westminster we see A lady sitting as M.P.

Darwin Charles Darwin offers us a Key 1809-1882 To help unlock the mystery Of Evolution's wondrous span From Protoplasm up to Man. Livingstone The traveller, great Scotch Livingstone, 1813-1873 Wandered o'er Afric's trackless Zone; Where no white man had ever trod Teaching the blacks the Word of God. Crimean War English, French and Turks unite 'Gainst Russia in Crimean fight. Indian Mutiny The Indian Mutiny now arose, 'Fat' was the cause that led to blows. Atlantic Cable With efforts many men most able Lay the great Atlantic Cable. Suez Canal Lesseps unites for you and me The Medit'ranean and Red Sea. Education Act The Education Act proposes To make us all as wise as Moses; In eighteen-seven-nought it passed, But each is learning to the last. Ballot Act A couple of years from this we note 1872 The Ballot Act gives secret vote; Before this Act, e'en since we fear, Folks sold their votes for draughts of beer.

[Illustration: IRON JELLOIDS The Great Tonic