Part 13

HYACINTH—It couldn’t possibly have been more conspicuous. He is a very good son, but a very bad marriage candidate. Just the same, your son is idolized here. Both by the girl and by her good mother. [_His gesture indicates BEATRICE._]

DOMINICA—You dear, sweet——

BEATRICE—Oh, Dominica, if you only knew ... if you only knew——

HYACINTH—And amid all this adoration he strutted like a ... like a....

DOMINICA—Fish.

HYACINTH—Worse than that! The girl didn’t sleep ... wept all night long....

DOMINICA—How terrible!

HYACINTH—And we all suffered with her ... her mother, I, the boys, the professor.

DOMINICA—[_Suspiciously._] What professor?

HYACINTH—[_Mopping his brow._] That’s just it. [_With a glance at BEATRICE._] There is a teacher here, a tutor to the boys. A nice, cultured straightforward young man. And he ... well ... toward the end ... when everyone was desperate ... an extraordinary thing occurred, which was, indeed, only another proof of the adoration in which your son——

BEATRICE—[_Terrified; beseechingly._] Karl!

DOMINICA—Go on.

HYACINTH—With characteristic feminine logic it was deemed expedient to invite the professor to last night’s reception ... in order to stimulate Albert’s interest a bit. A stupid idea, of course ... but from it you can glean the somewhat ecstatic regard in which your son is held here.

DOMINICA—What a charming, naïve idea!

HYACINTH—Wasn’t it? [_Flashes BEATRICE a triumphant glance._] Yes, and then came something which hadn’t been reckoned with. This professor—a fine, a serious, a most estimable young man—it appeared that he—think of it—that he had been secretly in love with Alexandra. [_In terror BEATRICE rises. There is a brief pause._]

DOMINICA—[_Emphatically._] Such things happen. [_Reassured, BEATRICE sits down._]

HYACINTH—[_With a triumphant glance at BEATRICE._] Yes, and no wonder. He sees her every day. She is beautiful. The rest was inevitable. Think of all those ancient romances of the Tutor and the Princess——

DOMINICA—What then?

HYACINTH—Put yourself in this poor young man’s place. Though desperately in love, he lends himself to this innocent deception, knowing, poor fellow, that he is only a means to an end.

DOMINICA—It was all Albert’s fault. Why did he hesitate to speak? I consider his reticence exaggerated under the circumstances.

HYACINTH—Remember it was out of consideration for you. Really, Albert’s devotion to you borders on the fantastic.

DOMINICA—After all, it _is_ gratifying. [_With tears in her eyes._] Well, and then?

HYACINTH—[_Mopping his brow._] Well, as I said, this young man sat down to supper with me ... this martyr ... I really must call him that ... this wretched human sacrifice ... and there at the table he endured such tortures that tears came to my eyes, watching him.

DOMINICA—I don’t wonder. It is really quite touching.

HYACINTH—And the poor girl, who is tender-hearted as she can be, could not bear to see him suffer so ... and she would have sent him away ... but the professor ... solely for the sake of the family ... solely for Alexandra’s sake ... solely for the sake of your son’s happiness ... the professor played the comedy through, though his heart was bleeding....

DOMINICA—Poor fellow....

HYACINTH— ... Until Albert, who knew nothing of all this, insulted him.

DOMINICA—[_Horrified._] The professor?

HYACINTH—Yes, him.

DOMINICA—This poor young man?

HYACINTH—This poor young man. Think of it!

DOMINICA—What did Albert do?

HYACINTH—He called him an impertinent little upstart.

DOMINICA—Terrible! And didn’t you interfere?

HYACINTH—How could I?

DOMINICA—What did the young man do?

HYACINTH—What could he do? He bowed his head. I thought my heart would break.

DOMINICA—Poor, brave fellow! And what did Alexandra say?

HYACINTH—[_Mopping his brow._] I am glad that you, too, are sorry for this nice young man.

DOMINICA—What did Alexandra do?

HYACINTH—You are not only clever but sympathetic as well.

DOMINICA—And Alexandra?

HYACINTH—If you could only have seen him standing there, this poor, industrious scientist.... Would you believe it? An astronomer! With his hopeless, despairing, inarticulate love; with his shattered romance; with his bleeding heart ... and Albert insulting him with cold, withering elegance.... And there he stood with bowed head ... disgraced irreparably ... annihilated ... after he had made such a sacrifice for the family.... Can you picture it? Such loyalty—and such a martyrdom? _You_ tell me, as a woman, is such a young man not noble?

DOMINICA—[_Emphatically._] Most noble!

HYACINTH—[_Rhetorically._] Is he the sort of young man who should be driven out? Is he the sort who should be despised?

DOMINICA—Certainly not.

HYACINTH—[_With increasing fervor._] Is he the sort who should be insulted? Who should be mistreated? Who should be punished?

DOMINICA—God forbid.

HYACINTH—[_Still more impassioned._] Again I ask you: Does such a young man deserve to be driven away? To be insulted? To be mistreated? Or does he deserve ... to ... what shall I say? ... to ... I don’t know myself ... he deserves ... to ... to——

DOMINICA—To be kissed!

HYACINTH—Yes, that is just what happened to him. [_Sinks weakly into a chair; mops his brow; murmurs to himself._] I thought she’d never say it.

DOMINICA—[_Taken aback._] Eh?... What happened to him?

HYACINTH—Just what you said. Alexandra kissed him.

DOMINICA—Alexandra?

HYACINTH—As you said.

DOMINICA—I? Yes. Um, yes.

HYACINTH—After Albert insulted him she couldn’t stand by and see him suffer any longer. She kissed him, in mine and Albert’s presence.

DOMINICA—And what did Albert do?

HYACINTH—How could he, poor chap, understand what was going on? Naturally, he didn’t see it all as clearly as you see it now.

DOMINICA—[_Without conviction._] I? Yes ... yes ... of course.

HYACINTH—And Beatrice ... who is such a stickler for form ... sits here worrying herself almost to death [_turns to BEATRICE_] about something which Dominica, as you see, finds perfectly natural, yes, almost inevitable. Isn’t it so?

DOMINICA—[_Without conviction._] Certainly, certainly.

HYACINTH—It was a charming gesture on Alexandra’s part. I am truly proud that throughout the entire episode she conducted herself just as you yourself would have done. We may all be proud of her. [_As he speaks BEATRICE gives him furtive, grateful glances._]

DOMINICA—A splendid girl. A girl of spirit! [_Majestically._] Happy the people who get such a queen.

HYACINTH— ... And if you want to know—I kissed the poor fellow myself.

DOMINICA—You were right. Louis XVI., after his wife’s recovery from a dangerous confinement, kissed a nurse. [_Emphatically._] Such things happen. [_After a brief pause._] So that was the terrible thing?

HYACINTH—Yes, that was it. [_Points to BEATRICE._] She fainted dead away. But she ... she was angry with the professor anyhow.

BEATRICE—[_Quite reassured now._] I? I look upon it in the same light as Dominica does. Only I wasn’t sure she would see it the way I did.

HYACINTH—She is angry with the tutor on account of Napoleon. He teaches the boys that——

DOMINICA—Can’t you bear him, either, this Napoleon?

HYACINTH—She loathes him!

DOMINICA—Dear, in my sainted husband’s library there is a curiosity,—a little French book which proves quite conclusively that Napoleon never lived. I’ll send it to you. Read it. It is most comforting.... There ... dearest.... So that was your tragic difficulty.

BEATRICE—Yes, you clever, practical darling.

DOMINICA—Poor little tutor! Now he is beginning to interest me. What is to become of him?

BEATRICE—He is packing. Oh, he feels that, after what has happened, he cannot stay on here another moment.

DOMINICA—He is quite right. But are you letting him go like that?

BEATRICE—Well, you see, my dear ... he is now ... the poor fellow is now like an exploded cartridge.

DOMINICA—One must be very careful with cartridges. It is just such people who become writers of memoirs, American lecturers or publicists for the opposition party. One cannot be too careful. I have had painful experiences in such matters. Tutors, adjutants.... I shall speak to him myself.

BEATRICE—Thank you, you clever darling.

DOMINICA—Had I been here I should have warned you in the first place not to trifle with a tutor. A tutor near a princess is as dangerous as a lighted match near a tin of gasoline. And, in any case, there was no need for all this haste. Had you waited one day more ... then I’d have been here. There is an old English proverb which says: “Act in haste and repent at your leisure.”

HYACINTH—[_Significantly._] In England!

DOMINICA—Now then ... when can I see this tutor? [_The CHAMBERMAID enters at right._]

BEATRICE—At once. Is everything ready?

CHAMBERMAID—Yes, your highness.

BEATRICE—Send Cæsar to me here. [_The COUNTESS and SYMPHOROSA enter at right._]

SYMPHOROSA—Everything is ready now, Dominica, dear; and there is a surprise for you in there.

DOMINICA—Nothing will surprise me now, dear Symphorosa.

SYMPHOROSA—This will, I think. Albert is awaiting you in the drawing room.

DOMINICA—Albert? Up this early? On _my_ account! You are right, dear. This is a most joyful surprise. I’m coming. [_As she goes._] Meantime, bring this professor to me here.

BEATRICE—I shall arrange it at once. But I am afraid you will find him difficult.

HYACINTH—And I’ll wager that you won’t find him difficult at all.

DOMINICA—Karl, I haven’t wagered since 1886, when I bet my sainted husband that I would give birth to a boy.

HYACINTH—And it was a girl?

DOMINICA—Two, Karl, two at a time. Come, Countess. [_She exits at right. SYMPHOROSA and the COUNTESS follow her. HYACINTH and BEATRICE look at each other in silence. He smiles triumphantly._]

BEATRICE—You have a good heart, Karl, and a good head. [_Kisses him on the brow._] There is but one thing I am still afraid of——

HYACINTH—In heaven’s name, what now?

BEATRICE—When she speaks to her son in there ... won’t he have a different opinion about it all?

HYACINTH—There are two reasons why he won’t have a different opinion. In the first place, he won’t be such a fool as to disagree with his mamma; and in the second place, I mean to be present at the interview. [_Starts to go._]

BEATRICE—[_Hurries after him._] Karl, dear ... wait.... I have been very unfair to you.... What can I do to make you forgive me?

HYACINTH—[_At the door, right._] All I ask of you is never to fall on my neck again. To-morrow you will write those words in a copy book one hundred times: “Old brooms sometimes sweep clean.” [_He exits._]

BEATRICE—No manners at all. [_CÆSAR enters at back._]

BEATRICE—Cæsar! You will go downstairs and ask Dr. Agi if he will be good enough to come up at once and wait in this room. Her highness, the Princess Dominica wishes to speak to him.

CÆSAR—Very good, your highness.

BEATRICE—What are you serving her highness for breakfast?

CÆSAR—Tea, cold salmon, cold beef, cold chicken ... cold....

BEATRICE—Cæsar! Why, that is last night’s supper....

CÆSAR—I beg pardon, your highness. It is this morning’s breakfast. I had it put on the table at one this morning, and no one has eaten a bite of it yet.

BEATRICE—Have you lost your senses, Cæsar?

CÆSAR—Quite likely, your highness.... Another breakfast will be served.

BEATRICE—Why are you so pale?

CÆSAR—I didn’t sleep well, your highness. I suffered agonies. Mostly on account of the tea.

BEATRICE—On account of what tea?

CÆSAR—On account of the terrible mistake. Father Hyacinth was served the hot tea and your highness got the cold consommé.

BEATRICE—I am glad I did. I would have fainted away in that horrible moment if I hadn’t had that sip of ice-cold soup. It revived me.

CÆSAR—Thank you, your highness. You have taken a great load off my mind.

BEATRICE—You are not to punish the man who made the mistake.

CÆSAR—No, your highness. Perhaps you would wish me to give him a little reward?

BEATRICE—Let us not go to extremes.... The professor is to wait here. [_She exits at right. CÆSAR goes to the door at left, but it opens and ALEXANDRA enters._]

ALEXANDRA—Has the princess arrived?

CÆSAR—Yes, your highness.

ALEXANDRA—Where is she?

CÆSAR—In there, your highness. [_Points to right._] I believe she is changing her clothes after her long motor ride.

ALEXANDRA—And what are you doing here?

CÆSAR—I have been told to summon—— [_Stops._]

ALEXANDRA—To summon whom?

CÆSAR—[_Reluctantly._] Professor Agi.

ALEXANDRA—[_Sharply._] What do they want of Professor Agi?

CÆSAR—He is to come up here and wait.

ALEXANDRA—Very good. Send him up. [_She sits._]

CÆSAR—But ... if your highness pleases ... I am to send Mr. Agi up here to wait for——

ALEXANDRA—_Professor_ Agi.

CÆSAR—Professor Agi up here to wait for her highness, who wishes to speak with him.

ALEXANDRA—Just do as you were told. Send Professor Agi up.

CÆSAR—Yes, your highness. [_He exits at back. After a brief pause AGI enters, dressed for travelling._]

AGI—Your highness sent for me?

ALEXANDRA—No. But I waited here because I learned that you had been sent for.

AGI—Is there anything your highness wanted?

ALEXANDRA—What sort of costume is that you are wearing?

AGI—A travelling costume.

ALEXANDRA—You are going away?

AGI—Yes. [_There is a pause._] Is there anything your highness wanted?

ALEXANDRA—And what is to become of the boys?

AGI—I don’t know.

ALEXANDRA—Aren’t you sorry to leave them?

AGI—Indeed.... I am very sorry. [_A pause._] Is there anything your highness wanted?

ALEXANDRA—Princess Maria Dominica, the mother of the Crown Prince, has come.

AGI—I know.

ALEXANDRA—And do you know why she has come?

AGI—I know that, too.

ALEXANDRA—Well? [_A pause._] Sit down, please.

AGI—Thank you. [_He does not sit._]

ALEXANDRA—[_She rises._] I haven’t spoken with the Princess yet. I haven’t even seen her yet. Perhaps within the next few minutes we shall meet. And then ... she will tell me why she has come.

AGI—Yes. [_There is a pause._]

ALEXANDRA—Is that all you have to say about it?

AGI—Practically.

ALEXANDRA—I don’t understand this mocking tone!

AGI—Not mocking, only incredulous. I am not a boy any more, to believe in fairy tales.

ALEXANDRA—[_With significance._] ... Boy?

AGI—Yes, your highness, not a boy.

ALEXANDRA—[_Regarding him sternly, reproachfully._] What _is_ this attitude you have assumed toward me?

AGI—One of utmost deference, your highness.

ALEXANDRA—Why this pretense? Have you forgotten what happened last night?

AGI—I have forgotten, your highness.

ALEXANDRA—Have you? And have you also forgotten what I——

AGI—I have forgotten that, too, your highness.

ALEXANDRA—Was it so easy to forget?

AGI—I didn’t say that.

ALEXANDRA—If I had known——

AGI—You must have known.

ALEXANDRA—That you would forget?

AGI—I ... must forget, and your highness must deny it ... and ... _he_ must not remember it.

ALEXANDRA—He shall remember it, and I don’t deny it. But I see that what I gave you was too precious. More precious than you deserve. Perhaps ... a kingdom.

AGI—That is not so precious. I know of one that was offered in exchange for a horse.

ALEXANDRA—You even insult me! You speak like a sullen child.

AGI—No, your highness ... what I am saying, what I am doing, my departure to-day ... these are my answer to your highness’ kiss.

ALEXANDRA—I hadn’t expected you to utter that word.

AGI—Uttering it doesn’t hurt. The kiss itself was much more painful.

ALEXANDRA—[_Cuttingly._] More painful for you than for me?

AGI—Oh, yes. It made me feel your profound pity for me, and also your utter contempt. It was a supercilious thing to do. It implied that I was not a human being at all ... that I could be treated ... like a child or a pet animal.

ALEXANDRA—Is that the way you took it?

AGI—If I hadn’t taken it like that——

ALEXANDRA—Then what?

AGI—Then I should be kissing you still.

ALEXANDRA—[_Resentfully._] I see it was all a stupid mistake on my part.

AGI—It was too much, your highness ... too much at a time. That is why it was unconvincing.

ALEXANDRA—Unconvincing?

AGI—Yes. For we hadn’t reached that stage ... and yet ... suddenly you had kissed me.... Afterwards ... I went out into the garden ... and wandered about ... for a long time ... not among the roses ... but out under the oaks where the morning breeze was unscented and cool.... There ... at daybreak ... I grew calmer ... and could weigh and consider.... And I felt like a beggar into whose hat someone had tossed a thousand crown note instead of a copper ... and who must, in all honesty, run after the giver and offer it back.

ALEXANDRA—I am glad to see that you know your place so well.

AGI—It is morning, your highness. The sun is shining.

ALEXANDRA—And not the stars.

AGI—No, no; not the stars.

ALEXANDRA—[_Nervously._] I am very glad of it.

AGI—And I. Because you are glad.

ALEXANDRA—I am very glad of it. It is better like this.

AGI—We can’t make it better. [_There is a brief pause. HYACINTH enters at right. AGI bows._]

HYACINTH—Well, my son, at last you are here. The Princess wants to talk to you. Yes, and the Crown Prince, too.

AGI—The Crown Prince?

HYACINTH—He would like to make amends for ... that unfortunate misunderstanding of yesterday.

AGI—Forgive me, father ... but I must ask them to excuse me. I am leaving. My box is already on the wagon.

HYACINTH—And you proposed to leave us without farewells?

AGI—I have just said good-bye to her highness.

ALEXANDRA—Yes, and in a most extraordinary way.

HYACINTH—How?

ALEXANDRA—Coldly. Sullenly. As if I had insulted him.

HYACINTH—Well, isn’t that interesting? This is the second time he has divined my thoughts. Yes, you did insult him, my child. Certainly you hurt his vanity ... perhaps also his self-respect ... with that kindly little kiss. That is what you mean—isn’t it, my son?

AGI—Yes, father.

ALEXANDRA—A tragic moment like that ... and you call it a kindly little kiss!

HYACINTH—[_To AGI._] You have your athletic habits to thank for this wisdom, this healthy clarity of judgment.

ALEXANDRA—And the things he said yesterday ... about his life and his death and his immortality.... Were they all untrue?

HYACINTH—Don’t you see? Sudden anguish seeks expression in the strongest language. That is why common people, for instance, become profane in such moments.

ALEXANDRA—Is that all it meant?

HYACINTH—All? That is a great deal, my daughter, for it manifests a profound sorrow. An exclamation of pain, as it were, in which the words are not important.

ALEXANDRA—Which of his words shall I believe then?

HYACINTH—The ones he leaves unspoken now. [_A brief pause._] Well, and you, my daughter? Now! Be candid.

ALEXANDRA—I, Hyacinth?... If I am to be candid, I believe I love him a little. [_Puts her head on his shoulder._]

HYACINTH—I myself thought you loved him ... until you kissed him.

ALEXANDRA—You say that, too? I don’t understand any of you. Is there anything the matter with me?

HYACINTH—No, my child.

ALEXANDRA—And you don’t believe it was love either?

AGI—No, your highness.

ALEXANDRA—But I——

HYACINTH—You don’t understand yourself, my child. It was pity that stirred in you last night. And at half past two it expressed itself in that bitter kiss.

ALEXANDRA—Bitter?

HYACINTH—It wasn’t me you kissed, and yet I know it was bitter.

ALEXANDRA—I am very unhappy, Hyacinth. But when you talk to me like this ... if you would only stay on a day or two longer and keep talking to me like this ... then I should feel better.

HYACINTH—I’ll stay, my child. I’ll stay three days more to keep you cheerful; I’ll stay four days——

AGI—Permit me to take my leave. [_Bows._] Your highness. [_Nervously takes leave of HYACINTH._]

ALEXANDRA—[_Cannot bring herself to let him go like this._] I admire your calm. Your mastery of yourself. Yet I know you are only pretending. This isn’t what you’d like to do. [_She obstructs AGI’S way._]

AGI—Perhaps not, your highness.

ALEXANDRA—That isn’t what you’d like to say.

AGI—Perhaps not.

ALEXANDRA—But ... if you can control yourself so perfectly now, why didn’t you last night? [_Angrily._] That’s what I want to know.

HYACINTH—I’ll stay a week.

ALEXANDRA—[_More and more hysterically._] If you can be so calm now, why weren’t you calm then? Why did you do what you did? Why? Why? What did you want?

AGI—I don’t know. That is the strangest part of what happened last night. I didn’t quite know what I wanted.

ALEXANDRA—You didn’t know?

AGI—No.

ALEXANDRA—You didn’t know, and yet——

HYACINTH—My child ... be calm ... I’ll stay a fortnight.

ALEXANDRA—[_With growing indignation, unheeding him._] He didn’t know what he wanted ... yet he dragged me along with him ... appealed to my sympathy ... my credulity ... dragged me and I clung to him ... ready for anything ... even my own destruction ... even if the whole world crumbled to pieces ... I would have clung to him ... and ... he ... he—— [_ALBERT enters quietly. She sees him but continues as if he were not there._] He didn’t know what he wanted ... and didn’t care what harm he did ... as long as he could gratify a momentary impulse ... he——

ALBERT—[_With mild irony._] Xara, you misjudge him. He is a free spirit. He is not like us.

ALEXANDRA—[_Unheeding him._] He only wanted to destroy everything ... to make a scandal.... Yes, he _was_ ill-mannered and ignorant——

ALBERT—You are unjust. He is an astronomer.

ALEXANDRA—And now _I_ say his conduct was impertinent.

AGI—Your highness!

ALBERT—Don’t answer her, Hans! I forbid it, Hans! And if you will permit me ... Hans ... I will kiss you, Hans. [_Embraces him and kisses him on the cheek._]

HYACINTH—Bravo! I leave to-morrow.

AGI—[_Good-humoredly._] Thanks, your highness. You overwhelm me.

ALBERT—Do you mind?

AGI—Not this one.

ALBERT—Shall I kiss you again?

AGI—Thanks, your kindness, that would be too much. One was just enough. [_GEORG and ARSEN enter at back. Each carries a bouquet of flowers in his hand. They pause a moment on the threshold, then come down to center, where they stand embarrassed. ALBERT goes down left._]

GEORG—Professor—— [_He is too touched to speak; gives AGI the flowers. So does ARSEN._]

AGI—For me? [_Takes them._]

GEORG—Yes. [_Turns away; wipes the tears from his eyes. ARSEN hides his face against GEORG’S shoulder._]

AGI—There, now! Can these be—the Indians? The celebrated Indians? [_GEORG and ARSEN turn and embrace him affectionately._] We must have a happy leavetaking. Not like this. Why, you ought to be delighted. From now on—no more history lessons. Now comes history itself. [_He bows, and exits at back with the boys. There is a pause._]

ALBERT—Don’t be angry, Xara. I owed him that.

ALEXANDRA—Him?

ALBERT—In consolation for that kiss you gave him yesterday. [_ALEXANDRA looks suspiciously at HYACINTH._]

HYACINTH—Yes ... yes. It is true.

ALEXANDRA—Well, then ... I was not to blame?

HYACINTH—No, my child.

ALEXANDRA—And I didn’t make an irreparable blunder?

HYACINTH—That is almost impossible for one in your social position.

ALEXANDRA—[_Mournfully._] And I wasn’t a heroine?

HYACINTH—No, my child.

ALEXANDRA—What was I then?

HYACINTH—Don’t ask, my child. [_There is a brief pause._]

ALBERT—[_With ceremonious elegance._] Alexandra ... last night you made handsome amends for a blunder of mine. I ask you now to stay at my side through life. And when I am at fault be always as ... as ... courageous as you were then. Will you? [_Extends his hand to her._]

ALEXANDRA—[_Gives him her hand. There is a brief silence._] Albert ... it is my duty to be quite candid. If I tell you honestly that at this moment I feel no other sentiment toward you than respect ... and friendship——

ALBERT—Then I answer you, Xara, that it suffices me now.

ALEXANDRA—[_Wistfully but kindly._] We haven’t contrived a love match, have we?

ALBERT—No. No. Decidedly not. [_With each “no” he shakes her hand._]

ALEXANDRA—No.

HYACINTH—No.

ALBERT—May I say what we have contrived instead?

ALEXANDRA—Yes.

ALBERT—We have contrived ... something more beautiful.... Love that comes after marriage. The deeper and stronger happiness that ... that——

HYACINTH—That comes later and endures longer.

ALBERT—Extraordinary that you can always express one’s innermost thoughts so neatly. Think of this: Katherine of Württemberg was the happiest wife in the world. And yet hers was one of those compulsory marriages which Napoleon—— [_Looks around_] Napole.... But happy, you see, nevertheless.

ALEXANDRA—[_Sighs._] Nevertheless. [_There it a pause. DOMINICA enters._]

DOMINICA—My dear Alexandra. [_Embraces her._]

ALEXANDRA—Welcome, Aunt Dominica. [_Kisses her hand with profound reverence._]

DOMINICA—Tell me, my dears, hasn’t the professor come yet?