Part 2

"A few more, Bert, and that there château won't be worth livin' in."]

[Illustration: The Freedom of the Seas.

"I wish they'd 'old this war in England--don't you, Bill?" (No answer.)]

[Illustration: In Dixie-Land.

"Well, Friday--'ow's Crusoe?"]

[Illustration: Alas! Poor Herr Von Yorick!

Fricourt--July, 1916.]

[Illustration: Those Signals.

THE VIGILANT ONE: "I say, old chap, what does two green lights and one red one mean?"

RECUMBENT GLADIATOR (just back from leave): "Two crêmes de menthe and a cherry brandy!"]

[Illustration: His Christmas Goose.

"You wait till I comes off dooty!"]

[Illustration: Urgent.

"Quick, afore this comes down!"]

[Illustration: That tin hat feels something like this on the way to the Offensive

And about like this when you get there

My Hat!

Helmets, Shrapnel, One.]

[Illustration: The Candid Friend.

"Well, yer know, I like the photo of you in your gas mask best."]

[Illustration: The Long and the Short of It.

UP LAST DRAFT: "I suppose you 'as to be careful 'ow you looks over the parapet about 'ere."

OUT SINCE MONS: "You needn't worry, me lad; the rats are going to be your only trouble."]

[Illustration: "Old Moore" at the Front.

"As far as I can make out from this 'ere prophecy-book, Bill, the seventh year is going to be the worst, and after that every fourteenth!"]

[Illustration: Supra-Normal.

Captain Mills-Bomme's temperature cracks the thermometer on seeing his recent daring exploits described as "On our right there is nothing to report."

(_He and his battalion had merely occupied three lines of German trenches, and held them through a storm of heavy Lyddite for forty-eight hours._)]

[Illustration: 'old these ---- biscuits a minute while I 'as a go at this ---- stuff

"Where the ---- 'ell are ye comin to!"

"---- your ---- eyes you can ---- well carry these ---- things yerself"

"yer ---- well wants elephants for this job"

Tactical Developments.

Private 9998 Blobs has always thought a machine for imitating the sound of ration parties (and thus drawing fire) an excellent idea, but simply hates his evening for working it.]

[Illustration: Bang Bang

Crash

Bang

Crash

That "Out Wiring" Sensation.]

[Illustration: Natural History of the War

The Flanders Sea Lion (Leo Maritimus).

"An almost extinct amphibian, first discovered in Flanders during the Winter of 1914-15. Feeds almost exclusively on Plum and Apple Jam and Rum. Only savage when the latter is knocked off."]

[Illustration: Things that Irritate.

Private Wm. Jones is not half so annoyed at accidentally falling down the mine crater as he is at hearing two friends murmuring the first verse of "Don't go down the mine, Daddy."]

[Illustration: Still Keeping His Hand In.

Private Smith (late Shinio, the popular juggler) appreciably lowers the protective value of his section's shrapnel helmets by practising his celebrated plate and basin spinning act.]

[Illustration: Those ---- Mouth-Organs.

"Keep away from the 'ive, Bert; 'e's goin' to sting yer!"]

[Illustration: Garcong! the bill, tres vite!

That Provost-Marshal Feeling.

A sensation only to be had at a Base--in other words, a base sensation.]

[Illustration: Blighty!]

[Illustration: Those Raiders at the Seat of War.

"I wish the 'ell you'd put a cork on that blinkin' pin of yours, Bert!"]

[Illustration: Romance, 1917.

"Darling, every potato that I have is yours" (engaged).]

[Illustration: Modern Topography.

"Well, you see, here's the church and there's the post-office."]

[Illustration: "There Was a Young Man of Cologne."

(I've forgotten the rest of the poem, but it's something about "a bomb" and "If only he'd known.")]

[Illustration: In the Support Trench.

Old Bill has practically decided to get Private Shinio (the ex-comedy-juggler and hand-balancer) transferred to another platoon.]

[Illustration: It's the Little Things that Worry.

What is so particularly annoying to Private Lovebird is, that he would not have had this bother with his dug-out if his leave had not been postponed.]

[Illustration: That Periscope Sensation.

"I wonder if I oughtn't to tell the captain about that thing sticking up in the sea over there."]

[Illustration: At the Brewery Baths.

"You chuck another sardine at me, my lad, and you'll hear from my solicitors."]

[Illustration: A Miner Success.

"They must 'ave 'ad some good news or somethin', Alf; you can 'ear 'em cheerin' quite plain."]

[Illustration: Birds of Ill Omen.

"There's evidently goin' to be an offensive around 'ere, Bert."]

[Illustration: If Only They'd Make "Old Bill" President of Those Tribunals.

"Well, what's your job, me lad?"

"Making spots for rocking-horses, sir."

"Three months."

"Exemption, sir?"

"Nao, exemption be ----d! Three months' hard!"]

[Illustration: "Stars is funny things aint they Bill"

"Yes--funny!"

The Stargazers.

--and their return to earth.]

[Illustration: Down at the Ration Dump.

"Call me a Tank again, my lad, and I'll knock yer ---- 'ead off!"]

[Illustration: The Glorious Fifth.

"'Ere, Guy Fawkes--buzz off!"]

[Illustration: "Yes, you are, one pound nineteen and elevenpence overdrawn, and that includes next month's pay"

Cox's.

When one feels rather in favour of floating a War Loan of one's own.]

[Illustration: This Muddy War.

"These 'ere staff cars do splash a lot, don't they, Bill?" (No answer.)]

[Illustration: Unappetising.

Moments when the Savoy, the Alhambra, and the Piccadilly Grill seem very far away (the offensive starts in half an hour).]

[Illustration: Fred's got leave!

That Leave Train

Second lieutenant Enoch Arden arrives on leave

Fred!

"The train was a bit late darling"

That "Leave" Train.]

[Illustration: One often hears the question:--

"What could Napoleon have done in the Great War?"

He could certainly not have gone in for this

It would have to be this, or nothing

Other Times----Other Manners.]

[Illustration: The Tourists, 19..?

"Remember this place, Bert?"

"Yes, it's where we used to chuck the fish to you, ain't it, Bill?"]

[Illustration: Alas! My poor Brother!

(_In this cartoon Captain Bairnsfather refers to the report that the corpses of German soldiers fallen in battle were utilised in a Corpse-Conversion Factory for the purpose of providing fats for the Fatherland._)]

[Illustration: Can-Tank-erous.

"'Ere! Where the 'ell are ye comin' with that Turkish bath o' yours?"]

[Illustration: Curfew.

What particularly annoys Lieutenant Jones, R.F.A. (who thought he could get a better view from the belfry), is that irritating prediction which keeps passing through his head, "The curfew shall not ring to-night."]

[Illustration: TAISEZ VOUS! MÉFIEZ VOUS LES OREILLES ENSEMBLE VOUS ÉCOUTENT

On the "Leave" Train.

You will never quite realise how closely we are bound to our French Ally until you have had the good fortune to travel on one of those "leave" trains--six a side, windows shut, fifty miles to go, and eighteen hours to do it!]

[Illustration: Getting the Local Colour.

In that rare and elusive period known as "Leave" it is necessary to reconstruct the "Atmosphere" of the front as far as possible in order to produce the weekly "Fragment."]

[Illustration: The Ghost of Dead Pig Farm--19..?

At midnight, an indignant, husky voice is heard to say: "B---- these blinkin' sandbags."]

[Illustration: George versus Germany.

Should Mr. Robey be at any time called upon to go to the Front, he must be careful how he does this: "I'm surprised at you, Ludendorff!"]

[Illustration: A Puzzle for Paderewski.

"It's a pity Alf ain't 'ere, Bert; 'e can play the piana wonderful."]

[Illustration: "Substitutes" in the Field.

"I thought you said your uncle was a sending you an umbrella."]

[Illustration: Leave.

Dep.: Paddington 2.15. Arr. Home 4.]

[Illustration: ROLLS-DAIMLER, 1917.--Four-seated Coupé body (très coupé). Hardly been used, beautifully finished (almost completely). One dickey seat (_very_ dickey), detachable rims (two already detached). Only driven 10 miles (Albert to Gommecourt). Excellent shock absorber (has absorbed any amount). In exceptional condition. £650 (or good bath chair). BARGAIN.--Captain Somepush, No. 2, Red Cross, Rouen.]

[Illustration: Merely a Warning.

You dirty dog

To those who may be contemplating picking up a Government car cheaply after the war. Insist on seeing photograph. Don't be satisfied by just reading the advertisements.]

* * * * *

Transcriber's notes:

With the three noted exceptions, punctuation anomalies were retained to match the original drawings. The exceptions are in the books printed explanations, not in any cartoon.

Page 5, period added to illustration caption ("Jack Johnson" shell.)

Page 112, single opening quote changed to double. ("You wait till I)

Page 125, period added to title of picture to match rest of format (That Provost-Marshal Feeling.)

Pages 93 and 98 were halves of the same comic. They were reattached to aid readability. The original text can be found in the html version.