Part 22
_He hath no more law than Mr. C.’s bull._ These words being spoken of an attorney, the court inclined that they were actionable, and that the plaintiff should have judgment, though it was objected that the plaintiff had not declared that C. had a bull.--Siderfin, 327, pl. 8. Pasch. 19 Car. II. Baker _v._ Morfue. The chief justice was of opinion, that if C. had no bull, the scandal was the greater. And it was pronounced _per curiam_ in the same case, that to say of a lawyer, that _he has no more law than a goose_, has been adjudged actionable.--Sid. 127, pl. 8.--There is quære added as to the saying, _He hath no more law than the man in the moon_ (Ib. 2 Kib. 209); the law, doubtless, contemplating the possibility of there being a man in the moon, and of his being a good lawyer.
_My lord chief baron cannot hear of one ear_, adjudged actionable, there being a _colloquium_ of his administration of justice. But not so if there had been no discourse of his justice.--1 Vin. Ab. 446.
Adjudged, that the _death_ of a parson is a _non-residency_, within 13 Eliz. c. 20, so as to avoid his leases. Mott _v._ Hales, Crok. Eliz. 123
Eden and Whalley’s case:--“One Eden confessed himself guilty of _multiplication_, and that he had practised the making of _quintessence_, and the _philosopher’s stone_, by which all metals might be turned into gold and silver; and also accused Whalley, now a prisoner in the Tower, of urging and procuring him to practise this art; and that Whalley had laid out money in red wine and other things necessary for the said art. And, because this offence is only felony, Eden, the principal, was pardoned by the general pardon; but Whalley, who was but accessary in this case, was excepted as one of those who were in the Tower. The question was moved, whether Whalley should be discharged;--Quære, the statute of 5 Hen. IV. 4, which enacts, ‘that none should use to multiply gold or silver, nor use the craft of multiplication; and if any the same do, that he incur the pain of felony in this case.’--Quære--Whether there can be any accessary in this new felony?--1 Dyer, 87, 6, Easter Term, 7 Ed. VI. This statute was repealed by the stat. of 1 Will. & Mary.”
In the case of _monopolized cards_, there was cited a commission in the time of Henry V. directed to three friars and two aldermen of London, to inquire whether the philosopher’s stone was feasible, who returned it was, and upon this a patent was made out for them to make it--Moore, 675; Dancey’s case.
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According to the Asiatic Researches, a very curious mode of trying the title of land is practised in Hindostan:--Two holes are dug in the disputed spot, in each of which the plaintiff and defendant’s lawyers put one of their legs, and remain there until one of them is tired, or complains of being stung by the insects, in which case his client is defeated. In this country it is the _client_, and not the _lawyer_, who puts his _foot into it_.
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Professional practice is frequently the subject of theatrical exhibition. “Giovanni in London” has a scene before going to trial, with the following
TRIO.
_First Lawyer, Second Lawyer, Giovanni._
_Air_--“Soldier, gave me one Pound.”
_First Lawyer._ Giovanni, give me one pound.
_Second Lawyer._ Giovanni, give me two.
_First Lawyer._ Trial it comes on to-day;
_Second Lawyer._ And nothing we can do.
_First Lawyer._ You must give a fee, Both to me--
_Second Lawyer._ And me.
_Both Lawyers._ For, oh! the law’s a mill that without grist will never go.
_Giovanni._ Lawyer, there is one pound; (_to second Lawyer_) Lawyer, there are two; (_to first Lawyer_)
And now I am without a pound, Thanks to the law and you. For, oh! I feel the law Has clapp’d on me its paw; And, oh! the law’s a mill that without grist will never go.
~Collop Monday.~
The Monday before Shrove Tuesday is so called because it was the last day of flesh-eating before Lent, and our ancestors cut their fresh meat into collops, or steaks, for salting or hanging up till Lent was over; and hence, in many places, it is still a custom to have eggs and collops, or slices of bacon, at dinner on this day. The Rev. Mr. Bowles communicates to his friend Mr. Brand, that the boys in the neighbourhood of Salisbury go about before Shrove-tide singing these lines:
Shrove-tide is nigh at hand, And I am come a shroving; Pray, dame, something, An apple or a dumpling, Or a piece of Truckle cheese Of your own making, Or a piece of pancake.
Polydore Virgil affirms of this season and its delicacies, that it sprung from the feasts of Bacchus, which were celebrated in Rome with rejoicings and festivity at the same period. This, therefore, is another adoption of the Romish church from the heathens; and it is observed by Brand, that on Shrove Monday it was a custom with the boys at Eton to write verses concerning Bacchus, in all kinds of metre, which were affixed to the college doors, and that Bacchus’ verses “are still written and put up on this day.” The Eton practice is doubtless a remnant of the catholic custom.
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FLORAL DIRECTORY.
Yellow Crocus. _Crocus Mæsiacus._ Dedicated to _St. Valentine_.
~February 15.~
_Sts. Faustinus and Jovita_, A. D. 121. _St. Sigefride_, or _Sigfrid_, of Sweden, Bp. A. D. 1002.
SHROVE TUESDAY.
It is communicated to the _Every-Day Book_ by a correspondent, Mr. R. N. B--, that at Hoddesdon in Hertfordshire, the old curfew-bell, which was anciently rung in that town for the extinction and relighting of “all fire and candle light” still exists, and has from time immemorial been regularly rang on the morning of Shrove Tuesday at four o’clock, after which hour the inhabitants are at liberty to make and eat _pancakes_, until the bell rings again at eight o’clock at night. He says, that this custom is observed so closely, t