Part 13

In the reign of King Arthur, near the Land's End of England, in the County of Cornwall, there lived a wealthy farmer, who had one only son, commonly known by the name of Jack. He was brisk, and of a lively ready wit; so that whatever he could not perform by strength, he completed by wit and policy. Never was any person heard of that could worst him; nay, the learned he baffled by his cunning and ready inventions.

For instance, when he was no more than seven years of age, his father sent him into the field to look after his oxen; a country vicar, by chance one day coming across the field, called Jack, and asked him several questions--in particular, How many commandments were there? Jack told him there were nine.

The Parson replied, "There are ten."

"Nay," quoth Jack, "Master Parson, you are out of that; it is true there were ten, but you broke one of them with your own maid Margery."

The Parson replied, "Thou art an arch wag, Jack."

"Well, Master Parson," quoth Jack, "you have asked me one question, and I have answered it; let me ask you another. Who made these oxen?"

The Parson replied, "God."

"You are out again," quoth Jack, "for God made them bulls, but my father and his man Hobson made oxen of them."

The Parson, finding himself fooled, trudged away, leaving Jack in a fit of laughter.

In those days the mount of Cornwall was kept by a huge and monstrous Giant, of twenty-seven feet high, and three yards in compass, of a grim countenance, to the terror of all the neighbouring towns. His habitation was a cave in the midst of the mount; neither would he suffer any living creature near him; his feeding was upon other men's cattle; for whensoever he had occasion for food, he would wade over to the mainland, where he would furnish himself with whatever he could find. For the people at his approach would forsake their habitations; then he would take their cows and oxen, of which he would make nothing to carry over his back half-a-dozen at a time; and as for sheep and hogs, he would tie them round his waist. This he had for many years practised in Cornwall.

But one day Jack, coming to the Town Hall, when the Magistrates were sitting in consternation about the Giant, he asked what reward they would give to any person that would destroy him?

They answered, "He shall have all the Giant's treasure in recompense."

Quoth Jack, "Then I myself will undertake the work."

Jack furnished himself with a horn, a shovel, and a pick-axe, and over to the mount he goes in the beginning of a dark winter evening, where he fell to work, and before morning had digged a pit twenty-two feet deep and as broad, and covered the same over with long sticks and straw; then strewed a little mould upon it, so that it appeared like the plain ground.

This done, Jack places himself on the contrary side of the pit, just about the dawning of the day, when, putting his horn to his mouth, he then blew, _Tan Twivie, tan twivie_. Which unexpected noise roused the Giant, who came roaring towards Jack, crying out--"You incorrigible villain, are you come hither to break my rest; you shall dearly pay for it; satisfaction I will have, and it shall be this: I will take you wholly and broil you for my breakfast."

Which words were no sooner out of his mouth but he tumbled headlong into the deep pit, which heavy fall made the very foundation of the mount to shake. "Oh, Giant! where are you now? Faith, you are got into Lobb's Pond, where I shall plague you for your threatening words. What do you think now of broiling me for your breakfast? Will no other diet serve you but poor Jack?"

Thus having tantalized the Giant for a while, he gave him a most weighty knock on the crown of his head with his pick-axe, so that he immediately tumbled down, gave a most dreadful groan, and died. This done, Jack threw the earth in upon him, and so buried him; then going and searching the cave, he found a great quantity of treasure.

Now, when the Magistrates who employed him heard the work was over, they sent for him, declaring that he should be called Jack the Giant Killer. And in honour thereof, they presented him with a sword, together with a fine rich embroidered belt, on which these words were wrought in letters of gold--

"Here's the right valiant Cornish man, Who slew the Giant Cormillan."

The news of Jack's victory was soon spread; when another huge Giant named Blunderboar, hearing of it, vowed to be revenged on Jack, if ever it was his fortune to light upon him. This Giant kept an enchanted castle, situated in the midst of a lonesome wood. Now Jack, about four months after, walking near the borders of the said wood on his journey towards Wales, grew weary, and therefore sat himself down by the side of a pleasant fountain, where a deep sleep suddenly seized on him, at which time the Giant, coming for water, found him; and, by the line on his belt, knew him to be Jack that killed his brother, and, without any words, threw him upon his shoulder to carry him to his enchanted castle.

Now, as they passed through a thicket, the ruffling of the boughs awaked poor Jack, who, finding himself in the clutches of the Giant, was strangely surprised; for, at the entering within the first walls of the castle, he beheld the ground all covered with bones and skulls of dead men, the Giant telling Jack that his bones would enlarge the number that he saw. This said, he brought him into a large parlour, where he beheld the bloody quarters of some who were lately slain, and in the next room were many hearts and livers, which the Giant, in order to terrify Jack, told him--"That men's hearts and livers were the choicest of his diet, for he commonly ate them with pepper and vinegar, and he did not question but his heart would make him a dainty bit." This said, he locks up poor Jack in an upper room, while he went to fetch another Giant living in the same wood, that he might partake in the destruction of poor Jack.

Now, while he was gone, dreadful shrieks and cries affrighted poor Jack, especially a voice which continually cried--

"Do what you can to get away, Or you'll become the Giant's prey; He's gone to fetch his brother, who Will kill and likewise torture you."

This dreadful noise so amazed poor Jack, he was ready to run distracted; seeing from the window afar off the two Giants coming, "Now," quoth Jack to himself, "my death or deliverance is at hand."

There were strong cords in the room by him, of which he takes two, at the end of which he makes a noose, and, while the Giant was unlocking the gate, he threw the ropes over each of the heads, and drawing the other end across the beam, he pulled with all his strength until he had throttled them; and then fastening the rope to the beam, turning towards the window he beheld the two Giants to be black in their faces. Sliding down by the rope, he came close to their heads, where the helpless Giants could not defend themselves; and, drawing out his sword, slew them both, and delivered himself from their intended cruelty; then taking out a bunch of keys, he unlocked the rooms, where he found three fair ladies tied by the hair of their heads, almost starved to death, who told Jack that their husbands were slain by the Giant, and that they were kept many days without food, in order to force them to feed upon the flesh of their husbands.

"Sweet ladies," quoth Jack, "I have destroyed this monster and his brutish brother, by which I have obtained your liberties." This said, he presented them with the keys of the castle, and so proceeded on his journey to Wales.

Jack, having but very little money, thought it prudent to make the best of his way by travelling as fast as he could; but, losing his road, was benighted, and could not get a place of entertainment until he came to a valley placed between two hills, where stood a large house in a lonesome place. He took courage to knock at the gate, and to his great surprise there came forth a monstrous Giant, having two heads; yet he did not seem so fiery as the others had been, for he was a Welsh Giant, and what he did was by secret malice; for, Jack telling his condition, he bid him welcome, showing him a room with a bed in it, whereon he might take his night's repose; therefore, Jack undressed himself, and, as the Giant was walking to another apartment, Jack heard him muttering forth these words to himself--

"Though here you lodge with me this night, You shall not see the morning light; My club shall dash your brains out quite."

"Sayest thou so," quoth Jack; "this is like your Welsh tricks, yet I hope to be cunning enough for you." Then, getting out of bed, he put a billet in his stead, and hid himself in a corner of the room; and, in the dead time of the night, the Welsh Giant came with his great knotty club, and struck several blows upon the bed where Jack had laid the billet, and then returned to his own chamber, supposing he had broken all the bones in his body.

In the morning, Jack gave him hearty thanks for his lodging.

The Giant said to him, "How have you rested? Did you not feel something in the night?"

"Nothing," quoth Jack, "but a rat which gave me three or four slaps with her tail."

Soon after the Giant arose and went to breakfast with a bowl of hasty pudding, containing nearly four gallons, giving Jack the like quantity, who, being loath to let the Giant know he could not eat with him, got a large leathern bag, putting it very artfully under his loose coat, into which he secretly conveyed his pudding, telling the Giant he could show him a trick; then, taking a large knife, he ripped open the bag, which the Giant supposed to be his belly, when out came the hasty pudding, at which the Welsh Giant cried, "Cotplut, hur can do dat trick hurself."

Then, taking his sharp knife, he ripped up his own belly from the bottom to the top, and out dropped his tripes and trolly bags, so that he fell down for dead. Thus Jack outwitted the Giant, and proceeded on his journey.

About this time King Arthur's son only desired of his father to furnish him with a certain sum of money, that he might go and seek his fortune in Wales, where a beautiful lady lived, whom he heard was possessed with seven evil spirits; but the King, his father, advised him utterly against it, yet he would not be persuaded of it; so he granted what he requested, which was one horse loaded with money, and another for himself to ride on. Thus he went forth without any attendants.

Now, after several days' travel, he came to a market town in Wales, where he beheld a large concourse of people gathered together; the King's son demanded the reason of it, and was told that they had arrested a corpse for many large sums of money which the deceased owed when he died. The King's son replied, "It is a pity that creditors should be so cruel; go bury the dead, and let his creditors come to my lodging, and their debts shall be discharged." Accordingly, they came in great numbers, so that he left himself moneyless.

Now, Jack the Giant Killer being there and seeing the generosity of the King's son, he was taken with him, and desired to be his servant; it was agreed upon the next morning, when riding out at the town-end, the King's son turning to Jack, said, "I cannot tell how I will subsist in my intended journey."

"For that," quoth Jack, "take you no care; let me alone, I warrant you we will not starve."

Now Jack, having a spell in his pocket, which served at noon for a refreshment, when done they had not one penny left betwixt them. The afternoon they spent in travel and discourse till the sun began to grow low, at which time the King's son said, "Jack, since we have no money, where can we think to lodge this night?"

Jack replied, "We'll do well enough, for I have an uncle living within two miles of this; he is a monstrous Giant with three heads; he will fight five hundred men in armour, and make them to fly before him."

"Alas!" saith the King's son, "what shall we do there; he will certainly chop us both up at one mouthful!"

"It is no matter for that," quoth Jack; "I will go before and prepare the way for you; tarry here."

He waits, and Jack rides full speed. When he came to the castle, he knocked with such a force that he made all the neighbouring hills to resound. The Giant, with a voice like thunder, roared out, "Who's there?"

Jack answered, "None but your own cousin Jack. Dear uncle, heavy news, God wot."

"Prithee, what heavy news can come to me? I am a Giant with three heads, and besides thou knowest I can fight five hundred men."

"O! but," quoth Jack, "here's the King's son coming with one thousand men to kill you."

"Oh! Jack, this is heavy news indeed; I have a large vault underground, where I will hide myself, and thou shalt lock, bolt, and bar me in, and keep the keys till the King's son is gone."

Jack, having secured the Giant, he returned and fetched his master. They were both heartily merry with the wine and other dainties which were in the house; so that night they rested in very pleasant lodgings, whilst the poor uncle, the Giant, lay trembling in the vault underground.

Early in the morning, Jack furnished his master with a supply of gold and silver, and set him three miles forward on his journey, concluding he was then pretty well out of the smell of the Giant, and then returned to let his uncle out of the hole, who asked Jack what he would give him in reward, since his castle was not demolished.

"Why," quoth Jack, "I desire nothing but the old Coat and Cap, together with the old rusty Sword and Slippers, which are at your bed-head."

"Jack, thou shalt have them, and pray keep them for my sake, for they are things of excellent use. The Coat will keep you invisible, the Cap will furnish you with knowledge, the Sword cuts asunder whatever you strike, and the Shoes are of extraordinary swiftness; these may be serviceable to you, and therefore pray take them with all my heart."

Jack takes them, thanking his uncle, and follows his master.

Jack, having overtaken his master, soon after arrived at the lady's house, who, finding the King's son to be a suitor, prepared a banquet for him, and, being ended, she wiped his mouth with her napkin, saying, "You must show this to-morrow or lose your head;" and she put it safely into her bosom.

The King's son went to bed sorrowful, but Jack's Cap of knowledge instructed him how to obtain it. In the middle of the night, she called upon her familial-spirit to carry her to Lucifer. Jack put on his Coat of darkness, with his Shoes of swiftness, and was there as soon as she; by reason of his Coat they could not see him. When she entered the place, she gave the handkerchief to old Lucifer, who laid it carefully upon a shelf, from whence Jack brought it to his master, who showed it to the lady the next day. The next night she saluted the King's son, telling him he must show her to-morrow morning the lips that she kissed last this night, or lose his head.

"Ah!" replied he, "if you kiss none but mine I will."

"It is neither here nor there," said she; "if you do not, death's your portion."

At midnight, she went as before, and was angry with Lucifer for letting the handkerchief go. "But now," said she, "I will be too hard for the King's son, for I will kiss thee, and he's to show thy lips." Jack, standing near him with his Sword of sharpness, cut off the devil's head, and brought it under his invisible Coat to his master, who was in bed, and laid it at the end of his bolster. In the morning when the lady came up, he pulled it out by the horns and showed her the devil's lips, which she kissed last.

Thus, having answered her twice, the enchantment broke, and the evil spirits left her, at which time she appeared a beautiful and virtuous creature. They were married next morning in great pomp and solemnity, and returned with a numerous company to the Court of King Arthur, where they were received with the greatest joy and loud acclamations. Jack, for the many and great exploits he had done for the good of his country, was made one of the Knights of the Round Table.

Jack, having resolved not to be idle, humbly requested of the King to fit him with a horse and money to travel; "for," said he, "there are many Giants alive in the remotest parts of the kingdom, to the unspeakable damage of your Majesty's liege subjects; wherefore, may it please your Majesty to give me encouragement to rid the realm of those cruel and devouring monsters of nature, root and branch."

Now, when the King had heard these noble propositions, and had duly considered the mischievous practices of those bloodthirsty Giants, he immediately granted what Jack requested; and, being furnished with all necessaries for his progress, he took his leave of King Arthur, taking with him the Cap of knowledge, Sword of sharpness, Shoes of swiftness, and likewise the invisible Coat, the better to perfect and complete the dangerous enterprises that lay before him.

Jack travelled over vast hills and mountains, when at the end of three days he came to a large and spacious wood, where on a sudden he heard dreadful shrieks and cries; whereupon, casting his eyes around, he beheld a Giant rushing along with a worthy knight and his fair lady, whom he held by the hair of their heads in his hands; wherefore he alighted from his horse, and then putting on his invisible Coat, under which he carried his Sword of sharpness, he came up to the Giant, and, though he made several passes at him, yet he could not reach the trunk of his body, by reason of his height, though he wounded his thighs in several places; but at length, giving a swinging stroke, he cut off both his legs just below the knee, so that the trunk of his body made the ground to shake with the force of his fall, at which the knight and the lady escaped. Then had Jack time to talk with him, and, setting his foot upon his neck, said, "You savage and barbarous wretch, I am come to execute upon you the just reward of your villainy." And with that running him through and through, the monster sent forth a hideous groan, and yielded up his life, while the noble knight and virtuous lady were joyful spectators of his sudden downfall and their own deliverance.

This being done, the courteous knight and his fair lady returned him hearty thanks for their deliverance, but also invited him home, there to refresh himself after the dreadful encounter, as likewise to receive ample reward, by way of gratitude for his good service.

"No," quoth Jack, "I cannot be at ease till I find out the den which was this monster's habitation."

The knight hearing this, waxed sorrowful, and replied, "Noble stranger, it is too much to run a second risk, for this monster lived in a den under yon mountain, with a brother of his, more fierce than himself; therefore, if you go thither and perish in the attempt, it will be the heartbreaking of both me and my lady. Let me persuade you to go with us."

"Nay," quoth Jack, "if there were twenty I would shed the last drop of my blood before one of them should escape my fury, but when I have finished this task, I will come and pay my respects to you." So, taking directions to their habitation, he mounted his horse, and went in pursuit of the deceased Giant's brother.

Jack had not rode past a mile before he came in sight of the cave's mouth, at the entrance of which he beheld the other Giant sitting upon a huge block of timber, with a knotty iron club by his side, waiting for his brother's return with his cruel prey; his goggle eyes appeared like terrible flames of fire, his countenance grim and ugly, and his cheeks appeared like a couple of large flitches of bacon; the bristles of his head seemed to resemble rods of iron wire; his locks hung down on his broad shoulders like curled snakes. Jack alighted from his horse, and put him into a thicket; then with his Coat of darkness he came near to behold his figure, and said, "Oh! are you there? It will not be long before I take you by the beard."

The Giant could not see him by reason of his invisible Coat: so Jack fetching a blow at his head with his Sword of sharpness, and missing somewhat of his aim, cut off the Giant's nose, whose nostrils were wider than a pair of jack-boots; the pain was terrible; he put up his hand to feel for his nose, and when he could not find it he raved and roared louder than thunder; and though he turned up his large eyes, he could not see from whence the blow came, nevertheless, he took up his iron-headed club and began to thrash about him like one stark mad.

"Nay," quoth Jack, "if you be for that sport, then I will dispatch you quickly, for fear of an accidental blow."

Then Jack makes no more to do, but runs his sword up to the hilt in the Giant's fundament, where he left it sticking for a while, and stood himself laughing, to see the Giant caper and dance with the sword in his body, crying out, "I shall die with the gripping of my guts."

Thus did the Giant continue raving for an hour or more, and at length fell down dead.

This being done, Jack cut off both the Giants' heads, and sent them to King Arthur by a waggoner, whom he hired for the purpose.