Part 8
We never teach men to be gentlemen, but we teach them everything else; and they never pique themselves so much on all the rest, as on knowing how to be gentlemen. They pique themselves only on knowing the one thing they have not learnt.
743
The true gentleman is he who does not plume himself on anything.
--_Rochefoucauld._
744
Let him speak who received; let the giver hold his peace.
745
Give freely to him that deserveth well and asketh nothing; and that is a way of giving to thyself.
--_Fuller._
746
Better a penny given with a smile than a pound given with a frown.
747
To give so as to bestow a favor and not create an obligation, is a delicate art.
748
He gives twice who gives quickly, according to the proverb; but a gift not only given quickly but unexpectedly, is the most welcome of all.
749
He who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, coolly answers, and ceases when he has no more to say, is in possession of some of the best mental gifts of mankind.
750
THE BEST GIFTS.
The best of gifts to mortal man is health; The next, the bloom of beauty's matchless flower; The third is blameless and unfraudful wealth; The fourth with friends to use youth's joyous hour.
--_Millman._
751
THE DYING GIRL TO HER LOVER.
Fare thee well, love, fare thee well, From the world I pass away, Where the brightest things that dwell All deceive and all decay; Cheerfully I fall asleep As by some mysterious spell, Yet I weep to see thee weep-- Fare thee well, love, fare thee well!
Tell of me, love, tell of me, Not amid the heartless throng, Not when passion bends the knee, Not where pleasure trills the song. But when some most cherish'd one By your side at 'eve shall be, Ere your twilight tales are done, Tell of me, love, tell of me!
Leave me now, love, leave me now, Not with sorrow, not with sighs, Not with clouds, love, on thy brow, Not with tears, love, in thine eyes. We shall meet, we know not where, And be blest, we dream not how, With a kiss and with a prayer Leave me now, love, leave me now!
--_By Winthrop M. Praed._
752
ADVICE TO A GIRL.
Never love unless you can Bear with all the faults of man! Men sometimes will jealous be Though but little cause they see, And hang the head as discontent, And speak what straight they will repent.
Men, when their affairs require, Must awhile themselves retire; Sometimes hunt, and sometimes hawk, And not ever sit and talk:---- If these and such-like you can bear, Then like, and love, and never fear!
--_Thomas Campion._
753
THE EDUCATION OF GIRLS.
The Princess of Wales has decided views on the education of children. Her Royal Highness, it appears, strongly objects to "cramming" children with useless learning, which she declares is a mere waste of time.
The Princess considers it harmful to force a child in studies which are distasteful to it, and that the child should be allowed to abandon that study, and take up one it likes better.
Similarly, she disapproves of advanced arithmetic for girls. She considers that all that most girls need ever know about arithmetic, is addition and subtraction, "enough to know how to do their housekeeping and pay their debts," she says.
--_London Paper._
754
No one can give what he has not.
--_Latin._
755
Not every one that dances is glad.
--_French._
756
THE HOUR GLASS
Is an emblem of human life. Behold! how swiftly the sands run, and how rapidly our lives are drawing to a close! We cannot, without astonishment, behold the little particles which are contained in this machine; how they pass away almost imperceptibly! And yet, to our surprise, in the short space of an hour, they are all exhausted. Thus wastes man! To-day he puts forth the tender leaves of hope; to-morrow, blossoms, and bears his blushing honors thick upon him; the next day comes a frost, which nips the shoot; and when he thinks his greatness is still aspiring, he falls, like autumn leaves, to enrich our mother earth.
757
_The Greatness of God._--Said Dr. Guthrie, "If philosophy is to be believed, our world is but an outlying corner of creation; bearing, perhaps, as small a proportion to the great universe, as a single grain bears to all the sands of the seashore, or one small quivering leaf to the foliage of a boundless forest." Yet even within this earth's narrow limits, how vast the work of Providence! How soon is the mind lost in contemplating it! How great that Being whose hand paints every flower, and shapes every leaf; who forms every bud on every tree; who feeds each crawling worm with a parent's care, and watches like a mother over the insect that sleeps away the night in the bosom of a flower; who throws open the golden gates of day, and draws around a sleeping world the dusky curtains of the night; who measures out the drops of every shower, the whirling snowflakes, and the sands of man's eventful life; who determines alike the fall of a sparrow and the fate of a kingdom; and so overrules the tide of human fortunes, that whatever befall him, come joy or sorrow, the believer says--"It is the Lord; let Him do what seemeth Him good."
758
But as it is written, "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."
--_I Cor. 2, 9v._
759
Every little blade of grass declareth the presence of God.
--_From the Latin._
760
THE FATHER'S LOVE.
Rest and be still: Nought happens thee but of His blessed will. There's not a wind that blows, There's not a lily grows Without His bidding--and His child shall He Forget and leave uncomforted? Nay, see How not a small brown sparrow (sorry thing!) Without His hand can droop or raise a wing! And thou art better far unto thy God! Lo! if He calls thee to a way untrod Where stones and rugged places tear thy feet, And bitter herbs alone are for thy meat, Or if He set thee high, and with a song Fill thy rejoicing mouth, and make thee strong; Yet know thou this: He loves thee just as dear When dimpling laughter lights thy face, or tear With bitter tear goes chasing down thy cheek, And thy poor heart may break but cannot speak!
Rest and be still. God hath not good and ill. All that He sends is good, altho' our eye For weeping scarce His rainbow can descry. He is our Father, and His name is Love. E'en when thy grief is greatest--look above! Look up! look up! and thou shalt surely see A Father's loving face down-bent to thee!
--_Deborah._
761
The more a man denies himself, the more he shall obtain from God.
--_Horace._
762
THE LOVE OF GOD.
The following beautiful lines were composed in 1779, by a distinguished scholar--at the time partially insane.
Could we with ink the ocean fill, Were the whole earth of parchment made, Were every single stick a quill, Were every man a scribe by trade; To write the love of God alone, Would drain the ocean dry; Nor would the scroll contain the whole Though stretched from earth to sky.
763
Whoever devotes himself to the veneration of God, whatever road he may choose, will come to God, and that the means to this, is, to avoid hurting any living being.
Be true and thou shalt be free; Truth belongs to thee, and thy success to the creator.
_From the Persian._ --_By David Shea and A. Troy._
764
Who comes to God an inch, through doubtings dim, In blazing light God will Advance a mile to him.
--_Sayings of Rabia._
765
A gold key is apt to open every door.
--_Massinger._
766
THE GOLDEN RULE.
If I should see A brother languishing in sore distress, And I should turn and leave him comfortless When I might be A messenger of hope and happiness-- How could I ask to have what I denied In my own hour of bitterness supplied?
If I might share A brother's load along the dusty way, And I should turn and walk alone that day-- How could I dare, When, in the evening watch, I knelt to pray To ask for help to bear my pain and loss, If I had heeded not my brother's cross?
And so I know That day is lost wherein I fail to lend A helping hand to some wayfaring friend; But if it show A burden lightened by the cheer I sent, Then do I hold the golden hours well spent, And lay me down to sleep in sweet content.
767
GOLF AND MATRIMONY.
"As an illustration of the enthusiasm with which golf is pursued by its votaries," says _Harper's Weekly_, "the following anecdote is told of a well known Scotch author, and a young friend of his. The two had spent the whole day on the links, and had had some close and exciting matches; as they left for home the elder man remarked:
"'Do you think ye could play again to-morrow, laddie?'
"'Well,' answered the youth, 'I was going to be married to-morrow, but I can put it off.'"
768
All things come round to him who will but wait and work.
769
Every person is responsible for all the good within the scope of his abilities.
770
Doing good is the only certainly happy action of a man's life.
--_Sir P. Sidney._
771
The pleasure of doing good is the only one that never wears out.
772
The good we have received from a man requires us to be tender of the evil he does us.
773
Seeking others' good, we find our own.
774
What is the difference between being good and bad? The good do not yield to temptations, and the bad do.
The definition was so simple and so wise, that Leonard was more struck with it than he might have been by an elaborate sermon.
--_Sir E. B. Lytton, Bart._
775
TOO LATE.
And as each day, that ne'er returns, But joins the past, Comes and goes by, the rich man toils Hard at his task,-- No time for thought or anything But just his wealth. Can he be dreaming life's for aye? Now fails his health, And death comes in and beckons him away.
Good that was in his hands to do, He left undone, Forgetting, in his race for wealth, Life's setting sun! His thoughts all lay in how to make One dollar seven: And then, too late, he found, for gold There's no demand in heaven.
776
GOOD-BY.
"Farewell! farewell!" is often heard From the lips of those who part: 'Tis a whispered tone,--'tis a gentle word, But it springs not from the heart. It may serve for the lover's closing lay, To be sung 'neath a summer sky; But give to me the lips that say The honest words, "Good-by!"
"Adieu! adieu!" may greet the ear, In the guise of courtly speech: But when we leave the kind and dear, 'Tis not what the soul would teach. Whene'er we grasp the hands of those We would have forever nigh, The flame of friendship bursts and glows In the warm, frank words, "Good-by."
The mother, sending forth her child To meet with cares and strife, Breathes through her tears, her doubts, and fears For the loved one's future life. No cold "adieu," no "farewell," lives Within her choking sigh, But the deepest sob of anguish gives, "God bless, thee, boy! 'Good-by!'"
--_Anonymous._
777
The sign of goodness in the young is to love the old; and in the old to love the young.
778
To all, to each, a fair good night, And pleasing dreams, and slumbers light.
--_Sir Walter Scott._
779
The Cross is the guarantee of the Gospel; therefore it has been its standard.
--_Amiel._
780
There is so much bad in the best of us, And so much good in the worst of us, That it hardly behooves any of us, To talk about the rest of us.
--_Robert Louis Stevenson._
781
_Leviticus xix. 16._--"Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people."
At a small town in ----shire lives a decent honest woman, who has for more than forty years gained her livelihood by washing in gentlemen's families. She gives the highest satisfaction to all her employers, and has, in several instances, been the whole of that time in the employ of the same families. Indeed, those whom she has once served never wish to part with her. She has one distinguishing excellency, it is this: through all this course of years,--forty--she has never been known, by either mistress or servant, to repeat in one house what was said or done in another.
--_John Whitecross_, _Edinburgh, 1835_.
782
Tale-bearers, as I said before, are just as bad as the tale-makers.
--_Sheridan._
783
The inquisitive are the funnels of conversation; they do not take in anything for their own use, but merely to pass it to others.
--_Steele._
784
What future misery ought they to endure who talk of what is not good in others.
--_Chinese Maxim._
785
If families have no sons devoted to letters, whence are the governors of the people to come?
(Necessity for general education.)
--_Chinese._
786
He governs best who governs least.
--_Latin._
787
GRACE.
Some hae meat and canna eat, And some that want it, but canna get it; But we hae meat, and we can eat, And sae the Lord be thankit.
--_Burns._
788
REBUKED BY A KING.
The king of one of the Friendly Islands became a Christian, and once went on board of a British vessel, where he was invited to dine with the officers. Observing he did not taste his food, the Captain inquired the cause; when the simple native replied, that he was waiting for the blessing to be asked. All felt rebuked, and the king was desired to say grace, which he did with becoming solemnity.
789
Expect not praise from the mean, Neither gratitude from the selfish.
790
THANKS--FOR FAVORS.
Your bounty is beyond my speaking; But though my mouth be dumb, my heart shall thank you; And when it melts before the throne of mercy, My fervent soul shall breathe one tear for you, That heaven will pay you back, when most you need, The grace and goodness you have shown to me.
791
God judges your gratitude more by your hands than by your hymns.
792
Many a thanksgiving sermon mistakes glorification of self for gratitude to God.
793
May we look around us with pleasure, And above us with gratitude.
794
GRATITUDE.
Nought so becomes a man as gratitude For good received; Noble deeds are still The offspring of benevolence, whilst he With whom remembrance dies of blessings past Is vile and worthless.
--_Sophocles, born 496, B. C._
795
It is much better to make presents in articles than in money, because gratitude for the latter is spent as soon as that is.
--_Jean Paul Richter._
796
Gratitude, we find in the dictionary, but not often in the heart of man.
797
When the tree is felled, its shadows disappear.
(Desertion of the great by their parasites.)
--_Chinese._
798
AGAINST EXCESSIVE GRIEF.
(From a letter addressed to the Countess of Essex on the loss of her only daughter.)
"I know no duty in religion more generally agreed on, nor more justly required by God Almighty, than a perfect submission to His will in all things; nor do I think any disposition of mind can either please Him more, or become us better, than that of being satisfied with all He gives, and contented with all He takes away. None, I am sure, can be of more honor to God, nor of more ease to ourselves. For, if we consider Him as our Maker, we cannot contend with Him; if as our Father, we ought not to distrust Him: so that we may be confident whatever He does is intended for good; and whatever happens that we interpret otherwise, yet we can get nothing by repining, nor save anything by resisting.
Submission is the only way of reasoning between a creature and its Maker; and contentment in His will is the greatest duty we can pretend to, and the best remedy we can apply to all our misfortunes."
799
GOD'S SURE HELP IN SORROW.
Leave all to God, Forsaken one, and stay thy tears; For the Highest knows thy pain, Sees thy sufferings and thy fears; Thou shalt not wait His help in vain; Leave all to God!
Be still and trust! For His strokes are strokes of love, Thou must for thy profit bear; He thy filial fear would move, Trust thy Father's loving care, Be still and trust!
Know God is near! Though thou think Him far away, Though His mercy long have slept, He will come and not delay, When His child enough hath wept, For God is near!
Oh, teach Him not When and how to hear thy prayers; Never doth our God forget; He the cross who longest bears Finds his sorrows' bounds are set; Then teach Him not!
If thou love Him, Walking truly in His ways, Then no trouble, cross or death E'er shall silence faith and praise; All things serve thee here beneath, If thou love God.
_From the German of Anton Ulrich, Duke of Brunswick, 1667. Translation of Catherine Winkworth, 1855._
800
He grieves more than is necessary who grieves before it is necessary.
--_Seneca._
801
"A great Latin poet said nearly two thousand years ago:
'If you would draw tears from the eyes of others, Yourself the sign of grief must show.'"
--_From W. J. Bryan's speech in Japan._
802
They truly mourn that mourn without a witness.
--_R. Baron._
803
There is no grief that time will not soften.
--_Cicero._
804
He mourns indeed who mourns when he's alone.
805
"Maybe the remark of a child I once overheard helped me to learn to complain and grumble as little as possible," said Dr. Burt. "While I was studying at Wilbraham Academy I spent a few days with this child's father, a good man but a chronic growler. We were all sitting in the parlor one night, when the question of food arose. The child, a little girl, told cleverly what each member of the household liked best. Finally it came to the father's turn to be described as to his favorite dish.
'And what do I like, Lucy, my pet?' he said, laughingly.
'You,' said the little girl, slowly--'well, papa, dear, you like most anything we haven't got.'"
806
Guilt is always cowardly.
--_From the Latin._
807
Dr. Guthrie tells an anecdote in which he humorously introduces a Brechin citizen, alive in his youthful days:--"An honest countryman came one day to Mr. Linton (head master of the grammar school) with a halflin[807:A], a long, empty chap, who had taken it into his head that he would have some little learning. Said the father, 'Mr. Linton, ye see, my laddie's fond o' lear'[807:B], and I'm thinking o' makin' a scholar o' him.' 'But,' said Mr. Linton, looking at the youth, and not seeing any sign that there was much in him, 'What are you to make of him?' 'You see, Mr. Linton,' rejoined the father--and it showed how sound the old Scotchman was--'if he gets grace, we'll make a minister o' him!' 'Oh, but,' says Mr. Linton, 'if he does not get grace, what will you make of him then?' 'Weel, in that case,' said the parent, 'if he disna get grace, we'll just mak' a dominie o' him! '"
--_From Memoir._
FOOTNOTES:
[807:A] Half-grown.
[807:B] Learning.
807a
_Dr. Guthrie to his Son_: "I saw an adage yesterday, in a medical magazine, which is well worth your remembering and acting on, it is this wise saying of the great Lord Bacon's:--'Who asks much learns much.' I remember the day when I did not like by asking, to confess my ignorance. I have long given up that, and now seize on every opportunity of adding to my stock of knowledge."
--_From Memoir of Dr. Guthrie._
H
808
HA AND AH!
Ha, is an exclamation denoting surprise or joy; ah, an exclamation expressive of pity or grief.
--_Fuller._
809
How use doth breed a habit in a man!--
--_Shakespeare._
810
HOW TO CORRECT A BAD HABIT.
Penn was once advising a man to leave off his habit of drinking intoxicating liquors.
"Can you tell me how to do it?" said the slave of his appetite.
"Yes," answered Penn. "It is just as easy as to open thy hand, friend."
"Convince me of that and I will promise, upon my honor, to do as you tell me."
"Well, my friend," said the great Quaker, "when thou findest any vessel of intoxicating liquor in thy hand, open the hand that grasps it before it reaches thy mouth, and thou wilt never be drunk again."
The man was so pleased with the plain advice that he followed it.
--_Monthly Magazine._
811
You need not wrestle and strive with the old habit, only just be persistent in forming the good one, and the bad one will take care of itself.
--_Ursula._
812
Habit is like a cable; we weave a thread of it every day, and at last we cannot break it.
--_Horace Mann._
813
No man is free who is a slave to any kind of useless habit.
--_Seneca._
814
Habit, if not resisted soon, becomes necessity.
--_St. Augustine._
815
Habit with him was all the test of truth, "It must be right: I've done it from my youth."
--_Crabbe._
816
INNOCENCE AND GUILT.
A painter, desiring to paint a picture of Innocence, found a beautiful boy playing at the side of a stream, who became his model. He painted him kneeling, with his hands clasped in prayer. The picture was prized as a very beautiful one. Years passed away, and the artist became an old man. He had often thought of painting a counterpart, the picture of guilt, as a companion to the other; and at last he executed it. He went to a neighboring prison, and there selected the most degraded and repulsive man he could find. His body and eye were wasted; vice was visible in his very face. But what was the artist's surprise when, on questioning the man as to his history, he found that it was he who, as a lovely boy, had kneeled for him as the model of Innocence! Evil habits had gradually changed him, not only in heart and mind, but in face and form.
817
All habits gather by unseen degrees. As brooks make rivers, rivers run to seas.
--_Dryden: Ovid._
818
Old habits are hard to break; new habits are hard to make.
819
Taste may change; our inclinations never change.
820
Habits are soon assumed--acquired--but when we strive to strip them off,--if of long standing--'tis being flayed alive!
--_Cowper._
821
To stop the hand, is the way to stop the mouth. (If a man will not work, neither shall he eat.)
--_Chinese._
822
ELOQUENCE OF THE HANDS.