CHAPTER VIII

THE DAY IN THE NEW FOREST

THE day for the New Forest dawned very brightly. Gentian was radiantly happy, and she and Godwin were like two children in their whole-hearted enjoyment of every hour. There was no lack of conversation during the run. She and Godwin chattered away together, Thorold occasionally joining in. Miss Ward for the most part took her pleasure in silence.

It was a perfect day for seeing the Forest. A gentle breeze kept the air cool. The green glades under the magnificent old oaks and beeches seemed like an enchanted country to Gentian. They had lunch at a picturesque old inn, and then she and Godwin wandered off to find the tree under which William Rufus was killed.

"I wish I was a gipsy," sighed Gentian; "I am sure a nomad wandering life would suit me. Women ought not to have such a dull time as they do. Look at you, now! You go over the seas and round the world and see a little of everything; and I am told I ought to be content to stay in my small corner for life."

"You'd long to find a corner to stick in if you were a sailor. I'm looking forward to a snug little home of my own one day."

"With a wife shut up in it all the year round," said Gentian, mischief in her eyes. "I know what a sailor's wife is. I knew two in Italy. One had come out there by doctor's orders. She said the loneliness of her home when her husband was at sea was more than she could stand."

"Oh," said Godwin, "I would have my wife meet me at different ports. I'd keep her lively. You bet I would. Don't disparage sailors, Miss Brendon. You'll send me into the blues if you do—"

They were sitting down in the bracken at the foot of an old oak. Gentian leant her back against the gnarled trunk and looked up dreamily into the green foliage above.

"A bird must be so happy," she observed. "It has command of the earth and air, and no one can prevent it soaring away from disagreeables when it chooses."

"You ought to have no disagreeables in your life," said Godwin. "You want a husband to shoulder all difficulties, and keep you safe and happy."

"I don't think men are fond of shouldering women's burdens," said Gentian reflectively; "when I go about in the village, and see how all the strain and work falls on the poor wife, who is on her feet from early morning to late at night, mending and making and cooking for her lord and master, as well as her children, it makes me feel that the man's lot in life is the comfortable one."

"Yes, but in our class things are slightly different. Do you think I would let my wife slave for me? Never—"

Then he put his hand softly over hers.

"I would always joyfully shoulder your burdens for you. Don't you know that?"

"But I haven't any," said Gentian, laughing as she quietly slipped her hand away. "Oh, look, isn't that a squirrel above us? The little darling! He has an acorn, I believe, in his paws."

"I expect he has a nest up there. I'll just see."

The squirrel had disappeared under a big branch. Godwin felt that the moment had not come for him, so he was willing to change the subject. In an instant he had thrown off his coat and sprung up on a low-lying branch. The old tree would have been easy for a child to climb, but he was quite unprepared to have Gentian following him. She was as agile as he, and when they failed to trace the squirrel's home, they sat astride a big branch and laughed at each other.

"I haven't climbed trees for years," she said; "what fun it is. And how shocked Waddy would be if she were to see me!"

"She's deep in 'The Times.' Thor has ungallantly left her—he's mooning round on his own—collecting beetles, I expect. He was always great on natural history."

"Isn't it delicious to be off the ground? It's the nearest approach to a bird, sitting up here out of sight."

A sudden gale of wind sprang up. Gentian's hat was off her head. In reaching out to catch it, she overbalanced herself and fell with a heavy thud upon the grass below. Godwin was down from the tree in a moment.

"Are you hurt? Darling Gentian, speak!"

"You needn't call me darling," murmured Gentian; "I am not dead yet."

She sat up. No bones were broken, but she had a cut one side of her forehead, against a projecting bit of root in the ground, and it was bleeding profusely. Godwin was in an awful state of mind. He took out his handkerchief, and was in the act of binding it up when Thorold suddenly appeared.

"I heard a crash," he said; "and thought there must be an accident."

Gentian turned impatiently from Godwin towards him.

"You do it," she said, "I would rather you did."

Godwin looked hurt, but taking a flask out of his pocket, Thorold bade him fetch some water from a stream near. In a few minutes the bleeding was staunched, and her head neatly bound up, but Gentian felt dizzy and faint. She persisted in walking back to the car, and Thorold's arm was taken, not Godwin's. Miss Ward, who was sitting in it under the shade of a chestnut tree, made her comfortable at once, and then they decided to go to the nearest town, and get a doctor to look at it.

"It shan't spoil our day," said Gentian. "I'm feeling all right again."

"What were you doing, dear?"

"Trying to imagine myself a bird, Waddy. Pride must have a fall."

"You might have been killed," said Godwin.

He looked white and shaken. His brother glanced at him curiously, but made no remark.

At the very entrance to the next village they were fortunate enough to come to a doctor's house. The brass plate on the gate told its tale. They were still more fortunate to find the doctor at home, and he very soon plastered up the cut, and reassured Miss Ward about it.

"It's only a surface wound," he said; "and her head is a little bruised. She is lucky to have escaped so easily."

"My accident mustn't shorten our day out," said Gentian, when they were in the car again. "I'm quite well. Do please let us do more of the Forest."

So they turned once again into the Forest, and drove through it to the place they had arranged to have tea. But Godwin's spirits had visibly declined; his eyes never left Gentian's face, and she noticed and resented the change in him.

"Why do you make such big eyes at me!" she exclaimed at last. "You needn't be glum and cross, because I made a fool of myself."

They had just left the car when she made this remark. Thorold and Miss Ward had gone into the hotel to order tea.

"Oh," he cried, "you don't realize what it meant to me—seeing you fall like that—you might have been killed on the spot! And I'm afraid even now that you are more hurt than you make out. You must be! I expect you'll feel it to-morrow."

"Thank you for your cheerful comfort! You sound like an old lady talking!"

A red flush mounted in Godwin's fair cheeks.

"No man would dare to say that to me," he said quickly.

Gentian gave one of her rippling laughs.

"That's how I like to see you. I wanted to get a rise out of you. It's very nice of you to be so interested in me, but I'd much rather you forgot all about me and told me some more of your sea yarns."

"Interested in you!" Godwin exclaimed. "I—I love you, Gentian—I wouldn't have any hurt happen to your little finger if I could help it. I feel I could die for you, and yet you wouldn't let me touch you when you were so hurt! You turned to Thor instead!"

They were standing on a balcony outside the hotel. In the distance the golden sun slanted across the old forest trees. It was only five o'clock, but there seemed already that preliminary hush before evening, when the active birds retire, wearied, to their beds, in the thick leafy trees, and the butterflies and bees creep to their respective lairs, giving place to the countless midges and mosquitos which haunt the evening air.

"I always turn to Cousin Thorold when I'm in trouble," Gentian said in a quiet dignified tone. The pink colour was coming into her cheeks.

Godwin pressed closer to her, and took possession of her hands.

"I don't want you to turn to any one except me when I am by your side," he said in a low passionate tone. "Gentian, tell me you care for me a little. I can't expect you to love ice as I love you. There's nothing in me to attract you, I daresay. You're an enchanting, adorable angel. But I've an honest heart to offer you. And your happiness will be always my first thought."

"Oh, please stop—"

Gentian's voice was troubled now.

"I like you very much as a friend, but nothing more. No, you could never be anything more. You're too young. I feel I know as much as you do. I've lived as long as you have, you know. We're just about the same age, aren't we? We won't talk any more about it. And if you only knew the real me, you'd find me a restless, discontented, selfish creature. And Waddy says I'm hopeless about housekeeping. I burnt a cake yesterday which she had made. I shouldn't be an enchanting wife. Anybody who married me would be bitterly, bitterly disappointed in me. Don't look so miserable."

Poor Godwin tried to smile. The softness of Gentian's voice, the kindness in her eyes, and the pretty little shake of her head as she mentioned her disabilities as a wife, only aggravated his disappointment. She had hurt him in his tenderest part, when she had alluded to his youth. But he choked back his feelings and tried to speak manfully. In his effort, he adopted rather a truculent tone.

"As far as my youth goes, that will mend itself. I will wait. I will come back from my next voyage, and then you may listen to me more patiently. A man who has seen the world as I have, and who has seen women and beautiful women, too, of all nationalities, is not to be easily moved, when once he has made his choice. You won't prevent my continuing to love you. And sometimes pertinacity conquers! Oh, blow them! Why can't they keep away!"

This last spluttering ejaculation was made as Thorold and Miss Ward appeared. And then Gentian added insult to injury by laughing outright. She checked herself at once and turned to Miss Ward.

"Is tea ready? We've been admiring the view—at least, I have. How many trees do you think are in the Forest? A million?"

She was the one who talked now. Through tea her tongue never faltered.

Thorold laughed and teased her as was his wont; Godwin was the only one who sat silent.

The drive home was not quite such a success. Gentian was rather relieved than otherwise when the Cottage was reached.

She slipped her hand into Godwin's with a little comforting pressure.

"Cheer up," she whispered to him. "I really am not worth what you think I am, and it is ungrateful of me to have spoiled the delicious day you have given us. I shall dream of those old Forest glades. Ever so many thanks."

"I am going to cheer up," said Godwin, setting his lips determinedly. "You are too young to know your own mind. You are still a child—"

This was a Roland for her Oliver.

Gentian looked at him with laughing tender eyes.

"I'm going to keep you as a friend," she said; and then she turned to Thorold. "Be very nice to your brother to-night, because we've had a difference of opinion."

Then she followed Miss Ward into the Cottage, and her smile disappeared.

"Oh, Waddy dear, I feel as if I've been beaten all over, and my head aches so I'll go straight to bed. I don't want any supper."

Miss Ward was full of anxiety and tenderness at once. She hovered over her till she was safely in bed. As she stooped over to give her a good night kiss, Gentian put her arms round her neck and hugged her.

"You're the only real friend I have, Waddy! The others are only friends for a time. Directly I won't marry them, they cut up rusty."

And though Miss Ward was told no more, she knew that Godwin had received his congé. She sighed as she stroked the curly head on the pillow.

"I hope the right man will come one day, dear. Now go to sleep, and that poor head of yours will be better in the morning."

Meanwhile Thorold and his young brother reached home, Godwin being unusually silent and subdued.

Later on, when they sat over the smoking-room fire, and smoked their pipes, Godwin gave his brother his confidence.

"I did think she might listen to me; she almost laughed it off. And having such a short time here is awfully rotten! But I'm in downright earnest and she'll find it out. I wish you'd sound her a bit, Thor—she might listen to you. She dismissed me too lightly. I don't believe she knows her own mind. I've never seen any one like her. It isn't mere beauty—it's the light and sparkling fire which seem to be covered over and hidden most of the time. Oh, she's adorable—bewitching—don't laugh at me—Don't you think she may relent? I'd give my life for her!"

Thorold did not smile. There was a tender, almost pitying look in his eyes, as he looked at the earnest boy beside him.

"I have known others, Godwin, who were going to make you desperate by not listening to you."

"Oh, calf love!" said Godwin hastily. "Don't remind me of those schoolgirls."

"One was a young widow—"

"You're very unpleasant!"

"Forgive me, my boy—I'm only wondering if Gentian Brendon would hold your heart for a lifetime. You sailors come and go, and you're apt to be extra susceptible on shore. She's a girl, I fancy, who will demand a good deal. You're as restless and emotional as she is. Will you suit each other? I'm only looking the thing fair and square in the face. I could wish for a different type of wife for your happiness. Two impatient, aspiring, eager young souls do not always go happily together in harness!"

"That's just clap-trap! I don't put her in the scales and weigh every mood and attribute that she possesses—I'm in love with her. I'll never marry anyone else! Never!"

A silence fell between them, which Thorold broke.

"She is not unaccustomed to having young fellows in love with her. I gather from Miss Ward that she has had several proposals already, and I interviewed one lover who was badly hit. I am only telling you this to prepare you for the worst. She's a very determined young lady, and will not easily change her mind."

"She's a child—a baby—she has no mind to change."

But Godwin's heart sank within him. He said no more, and retired early to bed, though not to sleep.

Thorold, looking across the breakfast table at him the next morning, felt very sympathetic towards him.

"I'll have a talk with Gentian, my boy—and tell you the result."

"If she won't have anything to do with me, I'll go up to town. I can't stay on here. The Cliffords want me to stay with them."

Godwin spoke quietly, but he looked quite miserable.

About twelve o'clock, Thorold went off down the road. He heard the sound of the organ in the little church, and slipped inside to listen. He was very fond of music, and Gentian was playing so exquisitely that he sat down just inside the door and lost himself in a dream. When she had finished, he waited for her in the churchyard. She came down the path talking to an old man who had been blowing for her. When she saw Thorold, she smiled and waved her hand to him.

"Have you come to make tender inquiries after my poor head?"

"I hope you are none the worse for the accident?" Thorold said gravely.

"Just a little," replied Gentian. "I'm in a nervy, irritable state of mind to-day. Waddy annoyed me at breakfast and I was rude to her, so I came into church to get good again."

"I want to have a little talk with you," said Thorold.

"Waddy has gone into the town to shop. Come along in."

She led the way to the Vicarage. The little room was full of fragrant roses in china bowls. The low windows were wide open, and the scent of mignonette and heliotrope came in from the beds outside.

Gentian took up her position with her back to the fireplace. She motioned to Thorold to take a seat, but he declined.

"Not while you stand."

"Oh, how old-fashioned you are! I never get a chance of looking down upon you. If I did, it would help me enormously."

She sat down on the couch, and Thorold took a seat opposite her. Then he cleared his throat and began:

"It's a rather delicate subject, but I have really come to you on Godwin's behalf. He is very unhappy, and is buoyed up with the hope that possibly you will reconsider your decision."

Gentian's blue eyes began to sparkle.

"Well now, honestly, Cousin Thorold, do you advise me to marry such a boy?"

There was a little silence.

"Godwin is a frank, straightforward, good-living lad," said Thorold slowly and a little heavily. "I don't think he is from a worldly point of view a good match. But he'll have some money at my death, and—"

A low ripple of laughter came from Gentian's lips.

"Please excuse me," she said checking herself. "Do you think my marriage with your brother will relieve you of a rather tiresome neighbour? It might for a time, but if you are really interested in your brother, I wouldn't advise you to urge it. I am positively certain I should run away from him before I had been married to him a twelvemonth. And I'm sure you wouldn't like that. It would worry you a lot."

"Do not think for a moment that I want to get rid of you."

Thorold's tone was earnest.

"Frankly, I have told Godwin that I consider you both too young for marriage. Not in years, perhaps, but in temperament. Still, I promised to speak to you. He is under the impression that you may alter your mind."

"Now, Cousin Thorold, look me straight in the face and tell me if you really and truly from the bottom of your heart think that I should make your brother a good wife? You know I shouldn't. Waddy says I think a lot of myself. But I know my limitations. It would take much more of a man than Godwin to have the patience necessary to bear with me. I think I'm only half-fledged. I'm not sufficiently developed to be a satisfactory wife for any one. And he hasn't the character to attract or inspire me. You've done your best, but you're too truthful by nature to be a good advocate in this case. Tell him you found me a veritable block of marble, and that nothing in this world would make me ever think of him in the light of a husband. I'm awfully sorry for you both. I don't think I'm a marrying sort. I'm sure I shall go on living here and get old and grey. You won't get rid of me in a hurry."

Then a dawning look came into her eyes. She clasped her hands round her knees and gazed out of the window.

"If I were to marry, the man must be like a rock for steadiness and reliability; he must never fail me, never deceive me, never disappoint me. And his soul must be the strongest part of him just as it is the weakest part of me. It would be rather a one-sided bargain, wouldn't it?"

She jumped up from her seat suddenly.

"And now we have done with the subject, haven't we? Do come out and eat a few strawberries with me. We have such stunning ones just now."

But Thorold shook his head, and went thoughtfully back to his young brother.

Why was he so devoutly thankful that Gentian did not want to be his sister-in-law?

Godwin listened to his brother's account of the interview with a moody face.

"I still believe she doesn't know her own mind, but I'm not one to be begging for snubs on my knees. I'll go up to town to-morrow and—and forget her if I can."

"I think that's the best thing you can do," said Thorold gravely.

So Godwin disappeared, and Gentian seemed perfectly indifferent as to his existence. She never asked for him, or mentioned his visit.

And Miss Ward wisely respected her silence, and kept clear of any reference to that day in the New Forest.