CHAPTER LI.
THE “HEATHEN CHINEE.”
As a rule the miners have no very exalted opinion of geologists, mineralogists, and other scientific persons who come into the country and claim to be able to tell all about each lead and stratum of rock, from the earliest ages down to the last Presidential election.
In 1874, after a State Mineralogist had been elected in Nevada—it was just previous to the transit of Venus—a Comstocker gave the following information in regard to the duties of the newly-elected officer, they not being very well understood by the majority of the people:
1. He will calculate all eclipses of the sun, moon, and larger stars, as soon as he is reliably informed that any have occurred, sending in to the Board of Alderman on the following Tuesday evening his diagnosis, in order that it may be duly referred to the Committee on Fire and Water.
2. He is to discover earthquakes and provide suitable means for the extermination of the same; also, for book-agents, erysipelas, corn doctors, cerebro-spinal meningitis and the Grecian bend.
3. He will be expected to foretell cloud-bursts, and to cause them to burst by degrees.
4. He is to guard the State against irruptions of the grasshopper, and must at suitable intervals, put up petitions for the putting down of the potato-bug.
5. When Venus transits he is to go up to the top of Mount Davidson, the day before, provided with a shot-gun and other nautical instruments with which to stop her, if, in his opinion, what she does on that occasion is liable to have a bad effect on any of the leading interests of this State—particularly the anchovy-fields and the bologna marshes.
6. In case of an aurora borealis he will let it take its course—the same with comets and measles.
7. In the spring, when the farmers have sown their cereals, he is to go down into the valleys and reduce the atmospheric pressure, in order that the grains may sprout without painfully straining themselves in swelling; also, in the fall he will perform the same duty, so that the pumpkins and cabbages may grow with less effort.
8. He will assist the Fish Commissioner in the introduction into our State of the alligator and other improved breeds of shrimps; will splice out short rainbows, cure warts free of charge, and furnish antidotes for harelip, night-mare, corners in stocks, twins, and Beecher-Tilton at the same price—sending his bill in to the Board of County Commissioners.
9. In case of foreign invasion, by the Piute Indians, or any other intestine foe, he is to so alter the boundary lines to our State, so as to throw the part containing the war into California—reserving, of course, our right to the free navigation of the waters of Lake Tahoe.
10. Should he at any time discover in any part of the State indications of milk-sickness, female suffrage, poison-oak or choke-damp, he will forthwith proceed to make an assay of the same, and, having extracted the cube root, will deposit it among the archives of the Pacific Coast Pioneers; with a recommendation to the mercy of the Court.
11. When a man is bitten by a mad dog, he is to kill the dog first—the same if the dog bites anybody else.
12. When not otherwise engaged, he is to keep our cows from giving bloody milk; cause the water to run up hill in the Virginia City sewers; bag the surplus of all “Washoe zephyrs” for use in the lower levels of the mines; clip the ears of black-and-tans; cause the sun to shine on cloudy days; vaccinate for fits; have the moon shine on dark nights, and cause all the leading mines on the Comstock range to pay monthly dividends every two weeks.
In the eastern suburbs of Virginia City is situated the Chinese quarter of the town, commonly called “Chinatown.” In this Chinese quarter live several hundred Mongolians of both sexes and all ages and conditions. In their part of the town they have stores of various kinds, shops, and markets, gambling-dens, a joss-house, where they worship their gods, and all other establishments required by them either for business or pleasure. In their part of the town these people live much as they would at home in China.
Many of the men are employed as servants in families in the city, generally in the capacity of cooks. In most of the restaurants, Chinese cooks are also employed. Many of them are laundrymen, and the town is full of wash-houses. There are several Chinese-physcians in the city, some of whom are frequently consulted by white persons. Among the residents of Chinatown are a great number of wood-peddlers. During the summer months they collect wood among the hills surrounding the city, often scouting out several miles. They get wood where a white man would see nothing that he would think of attempting to convert into fuel. For many miles in all directions about the town they have dug up and hacked to pieces the stumps left by the white men who first denuded the hills of their sparse covering of cedar and nut-pine.
The Chinese wood-peddlers are a feature of the town in winter. They are to be seen on every street, patiently plodding along behind the donkey on which is piled their stock-in-trade. They utter no cry in passing along the streets, but expect to be called by those who want wood. The common price is one dollar for a donkey-load, but when the weather is very cold and stormy, or when a storm is imminent, if you say: “How much-ee, John?” John, with a knowing look from his weather eye, in the direction of the approaching storm, glibly says: “One dolla quarty!” If the storm is very bad he probably says: “One dolla hap!” The price of wood goes up and down with the mercury.
John also understands the art of piling wood. He cuts his sticks very short and piles them up to a great height. While he is trading with you he keeps the head of his donkey turned toward you, so you have but an end view of the commodity in which you propose to invest. To the casual observer this manœuver of the Mongolian may seem to be mere accident, but it is pure cunning and is one of the tricks of his trade. Turn his donkey about broadside and view your load of wood edgewise, and it is not much thicker than a trade dollar. Take a rear view, and you find that the rotten ends of all the sticks of the load are pointing in the direction of the donkey’s tail. When you see John approaching you he seems to have a monster load on his donkey, but when he is opposite there is little of it but “ragged edge.” Take what appears to be quite a little “jag” of wood, as seen on the donkey, and when it is tumbled off, and lies on the ground, half of it seems to have disappeared—such is their cunning in piling it on their donkeys.
The Chinese are a curious people and have curious notions on all subjects. They are like Europeans in nothing. They are very superstitious, and believe in ghosts and all that sort of thing, yet they sometimes act as though Satan himself could not frighten them. As showing their notions in regard to funerals, death, and a future state, I am able to give the ideas of a very intelligent Chinaman, of the name of Wing Lee.
On the 29th of June, 1875, at 11 o’clock at night, there occurred in Virginia City an explosion of nitro-glycerine by which ten or twelve persons lost their lives, three buildings were torn to pieces and then totally destroyed by a fire which broke out in them. The explosion occurred in a room occupied by General J. L. Van Bokkelen, in a large brick building. The General was agent for a giant-powder company, and at the time of the explosion was known to be experimenting, with a view to the invention of an explosive that should be far more powerful than anything known; but nobody knew that he was conducting his experiments in the heart of the city, until after the mischief had been done. What it was that blew up was never exactly ascertained, but it was known that he had in his room a considerable quantity of gun-cotton saturated with nitro-glycerine. He also had in his room a pet monkey, and by many it was supposed that the monkey having seen the General experimenting, tried his hand among the chemicals. Man or monkey, the explosion killed ten or twelve persons, and destroyed property to the value of nearly $200,000. Among those killed were several leading citizens, and the funeral procession on the occasion of their burial was one of the largest and most imposing ever seen in the place.
It was while this procession was passing through the town that the Chinaman referred to above gave me his views in regard to such matters. What he said can only be given in his words. Said he: “Suppose some big lich (rich) Chinaman die; Chinaman no get newspaper all same ’Melican, so he family send-ee some letter to everybody come bury. Everybody be belly glad for cause one big lich man die; he all heap come—two, tlee (three) thousand maybe—all glad get heap eat-ee. Put many mat on ground; 10 o’clock morning all begin eatee pake (pork) and licee (rice); all belly glad, heap eat-ee.
“Now all people, everyone, he get tlee (three) piec-ee white cloth—two yard-ee long, hap (half) yard-ee wide. One piec-ee he tie ’bout he head; one piec-ee ’bout he waist, one piec-ee on arm—all white; no black same ’Melican man. Now, all go to take dead man; all go foot, no wagon, no horse-ee, all go foot. Big lich man he get one big housee make on top big hill; housee all stone. Put he in he housee he sleep well, all set up in he chair make in stone; all he fine dress put on, all he diamond, all he watch-ee, all he chain—everything same one live man. Then he git all fasten up by heself in he housee; then he family hire one man watch-ee every nightee all time, so no man he come dig. So everybody he go home belly glad, for because he got one big dinner, tlee piec-ee good clothee—all Chinaman belly glad when one big lich Chinaman dies. Poor Chinaman, put he in one hole like ’Melican, all in mud—no big dinner, no clothee. Some big lich Chinaman he funeral cost-ee ten, twrenty thousand dolla.
“One dead Chinaman he all same one live Chinaman—he heap eat all time, he come back to he hous-ee, to he bed, he walkee in house all same like when he no dead. Suppose you no put some pake (pork), some licee (rice) on he grave he come back in dark nightee, talkee in your ear, he pinch you toe. Dead Chinaman heap hungry, all same one live Chinaman—heap want eatee.
“Chinaman no likee git bury this countlee—he no git good feed—likee be take back he own countlee to he father, he mother, he sister, he brother, so he git feed—no likee die here. You say ’Melican man no come back when he die?—me no sabe why—Chinaman he come back, sure. Dead Chinaman all same live Chinaman.
“One ’Melican man he die on one bed; two nightee more you put one live ’Melican sleep same bed—no good! You put one live Chinaman in one dead Chinaman bed, dead Chinaman he makee some d—d hot for live Chinaman—you bet! Dead he all same live Chinaman—Chinaman he never all dead: You know one Chinaman two, tlee year ’go, he git kill down Chinatown? Well, he heap come back—many Chinaman see him—you bet. He lookee all blood; he say all time: ‘Oh! oh!’ and all time he say: ‘You go catchee that one man what he kill me!’ He come walkee up and down belly much. One time he no come one hap (half) year; all other time he come every week. When dead Chinaman he come back some people he much flaid, put-a blanket on he head; some people hee no flaid, talkee to dead Chinaman: ‘What matter? You no sleep well?’ Some Chinaman no got good eye, no can see dead Chinaman; he only can hear dead man walkee, maybe talkee. Me hear belly good, me no got good eyes—no see dead Chinaman.
“Dead Chinaman all the same like one live Chinaman! Las’ year one Chinaman git die here in this town, git bury over China bury-ground. Nex’ night he come back he say to one man: ‘Me no can sleep; my one leg he crook up, me belly (very) sore.’ But that one man he will no go straight he leg, so he go to some other several Chinaman and all time say: ‘Come fix me leg.’ Well, when they can no do other way some Chinaman go dig up fix he leg; he sleep belly well, he come back no more. Dead Chinaman he not get plenty eat, he come back, sure—you bet! Dead Chinaman all same like one live Chinaman!”
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