Part 3

Finding it impossible to stand this suffocating drenching any longer, and my arms weak from such powerful stretching, I watched my chance, after a prodigious surge roared over me, loosed my hold, seized the mizen backstay, climbed over the heads of some who were clinging to the rigging, and happily gained the mizen top, advising the rest to follow, as I was certain no man could stand the force of such terrific seas five minutes longer. Here, in the mizen top, in the interval of the ship’s striking, I fell to thrashing myself, and preparing for the waves. My body and limbs had become much benumbed, from the severe drenching below, and my feet were entirely without feeling. I took off my shoes and began to beat the soles of my feet with them; by which means, and by violently thrashing my body with my arms, I succeeded, at last, in circulating the blood, and rendering myself once more warm. While aloft, I drew out my knife and cut away the gaskets which confined the mizen topsail, wishing, by this, to drive her further towards the shore, which I could not yet discover. I also succeeded in cutting away several of the lanyards of the topmast rigging, hoping that the topmast might go over and leave the mizenmast standing till the last, to hold on to; but this was unavailing, as the keel having been beat off, the masts ultimately gave way in the steps.

I looked down below, and beheld, with varied emotions, and not without a degree of painful pleasure, a shipwreck, in which the fearful and the sublime were strongly blended. It was a sight from which I could not wish to avert my eyes, though I would have given worlds, at the same moment, for a foothold of safety. Holding on to the topmast rigging, and bending over the top, I watched, with straining eyes, the scene of death and destruction, so busily and clamorously carried on beneath me. Of those whom I had left grasping the quarter rail, I saw the three last washed from their holds, who soon met death. The mainmast having topgallant yard across, likewise fell over the side, and unluckily the wrong side, being to windward, off shore, which I was sorry to see, the ship laying broadside to the waves, and heeled much to windward. The moon had not yet set, and though obscured, enabled me to see, distinctly, the dire effects of the tempest. The long boat was forced from her head gripes and fastenings, and forced round, end on, to the sea; a second wave struck her stern, and instantly her fragments and contents were thrown beyond me, and the small boat, astern, instantly after, followed, borne on the top of a sea, with all her appendage of davils, tackles and lashings. The foremast, I imagined, would now speedily fall, as from its rolling I supposed its step was gone, as the ship beat heaviest at the fore part; but on the contrary, I soon found myself going over with the mizen mast, which fell and carried me along with it. I was plunged into the sea, and received a few scratches and bruises, but happily extricated myself from beneath the ropes, got round the top, and crawling down by the upper rigging, with difficulty regained the ship.

I was now beset on all sides with conflicting timber, but was happily well aware of the danger that threatened me. I found every plank of the main deck washed off and in pieces—the bulwarks stripped and gone fore and aft, and pipes of wine, tierces, barrels of flour and kegs of butter, hencoops, crates and spars, added to the general wreck. In jumping from the rail to gain the lee side, I fell among this ruin, but had hitherto felt only one or two severe bruises. A tremendous wave now broke over the quarter, and sweeping every thing before, carried me along with some large spars forward, when my right leg was struck by one of them, and jambed in between that and a deck beam, at the joint of the knee, which was instantly crushed, and held as in a vice, immoveable. My situation was now for two minutes most critical, and frightfully dismaying—another sea was roaring towards me. The blow I received had almost severed my limb, though I felt no pain. The next minute the surrounding timber would infallibly be washed in a storm around my head and body, and I momently expected it. By a providential rise of the water, I was enabled to catch hold of the lee rail, screwed out my leg, dodged under the rail, tumbled into the sea, and the wave roared harmless over my head! I did this, not in the hope of reaching the shore, for I thought, indeed, it was not within many miles; but resolving to hasten my end, and preferring to die in the open sea, and especially to avoid a death by piecemeal—by crushing now and then a joint or a limb. I had heard the groans of two or three others, and among them, the voice of the commander; their bones, probably, mostly broken, who had escaped being carried off by the waves, and who were, I presumed, but just alive. These, I believed, were all that still remained of this ill-fated company. After I had plunged into the sea, and rose, I held on, for a moment, to the upper timbers, which were all that was left of the ship, and those loosening, to recover breath. I soon quitted and began to strip, which was a difficult operation for a person in my then situation, as my leg hung down, like a rope, useless in the water, and I had on a thick jacket, two pair of duck trowsers, and neckerchief, a black Barcelona. While effecting this, some one, (and the only one I discovered) clinging to the timbers, was suddenly washed from his hold, and extending his arms, his right hand came in contact with my neckerchief, which he convulsively grasped, and we sunk together! Pushed for breath myself, it was no time for ceremony—the next hold I perhaps could not disengage, and an attempt to assist him would only ensure certain death to both; I therefore quickly pulled the end of my neckerchief, the knot being fortunately with a bow, and he sunk with it in his hand, and the waves closed over him forever. I presumed he was a passenger, from his white shirt, and from his stout appearance, the Senior Monasteria or Mr. Tiernay. While under water, I in a moment stripped, and again rose to the surface, divested of all covering but my shirt. My leg, I felt, was powerless, and in stripping off my trowsers, the twisting of it gave a degree of pain, besides which, I had several scratches and bruises; through these, the chilling coldness of the water struck to the heart.

When a boy, I was an expert swimmer; and when arrived at manhood, could jump from the gunwale of a ship, fully clad, strip while doubling the keel, and come up the other side with my clothes under my arm. No one that I had met with, possessed the faculty of retaining breath, and withholding the respiration for so long a period. But in this case, swimming, even with able and untired limbs, was wholly useless in a sea so heavy; and efforts to keep my head above water was all I could hope for. The moon had now gone down, and committing myself to God, I then pushed off from the wreck, to be thrown by the surge where his providence should impel. With two arms and a leg, I kept before the wind, and every sea would wash far over my head; I resolved, therefore, to seize hold of the first large substance I should encounter, and gain breath, of which I was very short. I soon fastened upon a bale of goods, but it being wet and heavy, I relinquished it, as every sea rolled over it, and I quitted it nearly exhausted. I saw numberless pieces of the wreck, and was in constant danger of being struck by some, which I repeatedly avoided by paddling from and diving, which the prodigious seas wholly overwhelmed. I stood this hard buffeting for about a dozen seas, and nature was fast retreating from the conflict, being desperately pushed for breath, as I could draw but little in the short intervals of the waves. I had now been nearly half an hour in the water, and nearly half the time below it; I had withstood, beyond my hopes, this war of elements, but my breath now became harder and quicker—I felt a suffocation and strangling—I turned and faced the waves in despair—I gasped twice, with a convulsive leap—another sea swept over me—I saw death inevitable, terrible, and face to face! I had but time, involuntarily, but audibly, to repeat the ejaculation, ‘Lord Jesus receive my spirit,’ and sunk in unshaken faith, that till the last trump should summon all hands, I should rise no more! My senses with my breath, also forsook me; and for a moment my mind was filled with the most singular and delightful sensations, apparently in an enrapturing dream. This, however, was as momentary as it was wonderful. I cannot imagine by what means, whether from the chill of the water, the pain of my wounds, or by the violence of a wave that then broke over me, but I was soon brought to my senses, and rose to the surface evidently refreshed. Thy hand, O God, was here! On looking around, I distinctly discovered, as if supernaturally thrown in my way, something large and light, for it kept constantly above the waves. I exerted my remaining strength, and reached it; it was a large crate, empty of all but straw. Into this, I firmly clenched my fingers, and soon recovered breath, as its buoyancy kept it high above the seas. Five minutes of this eventful night, I never think of but with sentiments of amazement and gratitude.—While in the act of sinking, as I supposed, for the last time, the crowd of recollections, and the rapid succession of thoughts thronged my brain almost to bursting, I, who two hours before, was in health, happiness and security, now found myself in the midst of darkness, danger and death, encompassed with the merciless element, without a gleam of hope, and momently expecting to enter that unknown world, ‘with all my imperfections on my head.’ The crate to which I had so fortunately attached myself, I have reason to believe, was the only thing, by the assistance of which, I could save my life. Keeping my hold of this, and constantly turning it round as my weight pulled it over towards me, I still kept courage, and dropped myself frequently down under water as far as I could stretch at arm’s length, without quitting my hold, with the earnest hope of touching the bottom, but without success. I was much fatigued from exertion and anxiety, and could scarcely continue my hold upon the crate, for every sea would sweep us at least ten feet before it, and I began to despair of any land being near, and was fearful that the ship had been wrecked upon a shoal; still, however, holding on the crate, as I felt it my only hope, and knew if I lost that I was lost indeed! Drifting along with hopeless indifference, I was beginning to droop in despair; and overcome with exertion, I felt a lethargy creeping over me, and resolved, with a last effort, to arouse my drowsy spirits, and by violently shaking the crate, shook myself, and looking around, I was surprised and animated, to find an uncommon lull and subsiding of the swelling surge—I was once more alive, for I was inside the breakers! I again quickly dropped myself down, eagerly stretching my limbs to the utmost length, and with my toe touched the bottom! I felt it was of sand, and in a few minutes more I got up to about breast high in the water, and shoving myself forward by leg and arms, soon crawled out of the surf upon the beach.

Thus, after being more than half an hour in the water, and making my way for nearly three quarters of a mile, through a raging sea, at midnight, I was at last thrown upon a desert beach, certain that no one could have reached a cable’s length from the ship, which in an hour and a half after she first struck, was scattered in pieces on the strand. Some idea may be had of the violence of the elements, from the fact that not a single mast came on shore unbroken, nor a timber as big as the windlass; and out of twenty three souls, among whom were four stout African slaves, whose constant habit of swimming renders them almost amphibious, only one body was thrown on shore that night; the remainder, buried by the first wave, came not on shore till nine days afterwards.

Amazed and nearly stunned, on reaching the beach, I attempted, unconsciously, to stand, but my leg refused its office, and I fell backwards to the ground and was much hurt by the fall, which caused the blood to ooze from several wounds. Half frantic with pain and the severe chill of the weather, a groan, as I lay extended on the earth, for once escaped me. I groaned and wished for death; I could then, I believe, have met him without fear—not as the king of terrors, but the messenger of mercy; I considered the fate of my companions happier far than my own, for their sufferings, though severe, were momentary, while mine, perhaps, were to be protracted, till struggling nature, slowly giving way, sunk under misery at its utmost stretch. Torments so acute I determined not to endure; the dreaded alternative was therefore soon chosen, and I resolved to put an end to my existence by the first means chance should throw in my power. I had many reasons to urge me to this desperate act. The country around me, I believed from experience on the opposite shore, was barren and desolate, without inhabitants for a great distance, impenetrable from swamps and shrubbery, with no chance of being discovered; the cold was to my body deadly and fearful, and not being able to move without torture, I should not certainly, unsheltered, survive till the morning. The moon had set long since, and I was now in almost palpable darkness, and I could have seen no object, though my eyelids brushed it. Raising myself up at last, I slowly drew myself out of the surf, by hitching myself backwards. I was seated on the sand, with my hand groping around me, and felt hoops, or something bulky, and found, to my surprise, a pipe of wine. I had not left the ship too soon, for here was the lowest tier of the cargo on shore before me. Impelled by pain and despair, I was several times on the point of knocking my head against it and dashing out my brains, but as often hesitated, doubting only my strength to give one sufficient blow. A sad dilemma—but God was with me. A second thought most happily struck me; the cask was large, and sufficient to contain me, if I could possibly stave in the head, and lying end to the wind, would prove a complete shelter from the dreaded cold.

Thus it pleased Providence, that the intended instrument of death, should be the very means of my preservation! Hope once more brightened and gave me triple vigor. Groping still farther along, I felt, for I truly could see nothing about me, several sticks of heavy Brazil wood, dunnage to the pipes, and taking up one, I got round to the upper head, and by repeated strokes, made a breach and broke, with strength that surprised me, the middle head stave. The wine burst out, I applied my mouth and drank some of it, and then continued my strokes with renewed force. A few more blows stove the head at last entirely in; the wine burst over me, the touch of which, to my frozen carcase, was electric and most agreeable. I took up two pieces of the head staves and placed them in the bottom or bilge of the cask, to make it even and level, and then crawled in. The interior felt to my body like an oven. I had, during all this time, been at work partly in the water, at the edge of the surf, which now flowed in upon me at every wave, and kept me constantly throwing it out with my left hand, as I lay in the water on my back as the least painful position. This labor I was obliged to continue the remainder of the night, till towards morning; when the wind somewhat abated, the tide ebbed, and the surf retreating, no longer kept me bailing; I was, however, too exhausted to remove. At day break I looked out of the cask, and beheld a long sandy beach, covered to a great extent on each side of me with the fragments of the wreck, but not a vestige of the ship as long as the pump, or any thing moving, excepting the gulls. In fact, I was assured, on first reaching the shore, that no mortal alone could make his way through such seas, in such a night, to the land. My own preservation I considered as little short of a miracle. A shipwreck so sudden, an escape so singular, the uproar I had witnessed, and the sight now before me, my scattered senses could scarce conceive real. For some time I actually doubted myself awake, for it seemed like a horrible dream. I then again composed myself in the cask, and owing to pain, the fumes of the wine and great exertion, I remained, during the whole of this day, nearly insensible, and in a trance-like stupor. Towards sunset I was fearful of being carried away by the return of the tide, during the approaching night, with the pipe in this dangerous situation; I therefore reluctantly crawled out of the cask, and holding up my useless leg from trailing on the ground, and hitching myself backward with my right hand, gained at last the foot of a sand hill further up the beach. I worked myself up on this as high as my strength would permit, to be free from the reach of the sea; and as night was now darkening around, I looked anxiously and in vain, for some kind of hole into which to crawl. Finding no refuge above ground, I was constrained to seek one below it. With a heavy heart, I dug a bed in the sand, into which I crept, and with my lacerated leg undermost, raking the sand over me, laid down, expecting only to rise ‘when the last trump should rouse me with its warning.’ The sand and my shirt were my only covering; the weather was extremely cold, and during the night it rained and stormed as hard as ever. The wet sand drifting around in smothering showers, covered every part of me, filling at every blast, my hair, eyes, nose and mouth, kept me constantly spitting it out to prevent suffocation, while the cold often compelled me to sit up and thrash myself to prevent the chill of death. About midnight, in hopes of better avoiding the wintry wind, I resolved to shift my position, and try to get under the lee, or into some hollow on the other side of the hill. I accordingly crawled some distance, I knew not wither, owing to extreme darkness, and made another hole; then thrashing my arms for some time, again ventured to lay down, covering myself, as before, with sand, to resist the cold. Such was my bed, and such the manner in which I passed another night, and stood the ‘pelting of the pitiless storm.’

In the morning I looked around and observed I had got over to the other side of the hillock, in sight of a low, marshy country, intermixed with low shrubbery, but saw no sign of habitation or cattle. I then took a survey of myself, and I truly looked like nothing human, or in the likeness of any thing upon earth or the waters beneath. My wounds were filled with sand, as were also my eyebrows, hair, beard and whiskers; my leg swelled to the plumpness of a wool sack, my left wrist out of joint, and the hand swelled and wholly useless; my feet were swelled and wrinkled like tripe, from remaining so long in the water, and painful from several wounds;[1] and a ragged shirt, torn in my struggles, scantily covered a body discolored and sadly disfigured; I was, indeed, a figure too shocking even to excite pity, too disabled to excite fear, and too monstrous for any sensation but astonishment. I descended the slope of the hill and entered among the bushes that grew around, and slowly moved along for some time, till I espied at some distance, through the grass, a low hollow, that I thought might contain water, for my thirst was intolerable. In half an hour, resting at intervals, I reached it, and found, to my great joy, that I was not deceived; it was water! clear and tempting; but the difficulty was to get at it. I at first tried several different plans to get my mouth to the brook, for my limbs were too lame and stiff to bend. At last, by laying at length on the grass and rolling up to it, I succeeded. It was the most delicious draught I ever tasted! I drank an immoderate quantity, breathed awhile, and drank once more, not knowing when I should drink again. Looking about me, I saw nothing but what indicated a barren and inhospitable waste; I was therefore compelled to wend my way over the sand, and return to my old abode; a tedious and difficult task, which, however, I surmounted, and reached the beach about noon. The weather was still inauspicious and cloudy, the gale not much abated, and the sea continued to roar.