Part 5
But don’t you think it is terribly weak and unfeeling of me—to be able to do so?
ASTA.
Oh, no—I am sure it is impossible to keep circling for ever round one fixed thought.
ALLMERS.
Yes, for me it is impossible. Before you came to me, here I sat, torturing myself unspeakably with this crushing, gnawing sorrow——
ASTA.
Yes?
ALLMERS.
And would you believe it, Asta——? H’m——
ASTA.
Well?
ALLMERS.
In the midst of all the agony, I found myself speculating what we should have for dinner to-day.
ASTA.
[_Soothingly._] Well, well, if only it rests you to——
ALLMERS.
Yes, just fancy, dear—it seemed as if it did give me rest. [_Holds out his hand to her across the table._] How good it is, Asta, that I have you with me. I am so glad of that. Glad, glad—even in my sorrow.
ASTA.
[_Looking earnestly at him._] You ought most of all to be glad that you have Rita.
ALLMERS.
Yes, of course I should. But Rita is no kin to me—it isn’t like having a sister.
ASTA.
[_Eagerly._] Do you say that, Alfred?
ALLMERS.
Yes, _our_ family is a thing apart. [_Half jestingly._] We have always had vowels for our initials. Don’t you remember how often we used to speak of that? And all our relations—all equally poor. And we have all the same colour of eyes.
ASTA.
Do you think I have——?
ALLMERS.
No, you take entirely after your mother. You are not in the least like the rest of us—not even like father. But all the same——
ASTA.
All the same——?
ALLMERS.
Well, I believe that living together has, as it were, stamped us in each other’s image—mentally, I mean.
ASTA.
[_With warm emotion._] Oh, you must never say that, Alfred. It is only I that have taken my stamp from you; and it is to you that I owe everything—every _good_ thing in the world.
ALLMERS.
[_Shaking his head._] You owe me nothing, Asta. On the contrary——
ASTA.
I owe you everything! You must never doubt that. No sacrifice has been too great for you——
ALLMERS.
[_Interrupting._] Oh, nonsense—sacrifice! Don’t talk of such a thing.—I have only loved you, Asta, ever since you were a little child. [_After a short pause._] And then it always seemed to me that I had so much injustice to make up to you for.
ASTA.
[_Astonished._] Injustice? You?
ALLMERS.
Not precisely on my own account. But——
ASTA.
[_Eagerly._] But——?
ALLMERS.
On father’s.
ASTA.
[_Half rising from the bench._] On—father’s! [_Sitting down again._] What do you mean by that, Alfred?
ALLMERS.
Father was never really kind to you.
ASTA.
[_Vehemently._] Oh, don’t say that!
ALLMERS.
Yes, it is true. He did not love you—not as he ought to have.
ASTA.
[_Evasively._] No, perhaps not as he loved you. That was only natural.
ALLMERS.
[_Continuing._] And he was often hard to your mother, too—at least in the last years.
ASTA.
[_Softly._] Mother was so much, much younger than he—remember that.
ALLMERS.
Do you think they were not quite suited to each other?
ASTA.
Perhaps not.
ALLMERS.
Yes, but still——. Father, who in other ways was so gentle and warm-hearted—so kindly towards every one——
ASTA.
[_Quietly._] Mother, too, was not always as she ought to have been.
ALLMERS.
Your mother was not!
ASTA.
Perhaps not always.
ALLMERS.
Towards father, do you mean?
ASTA.
Yes.
ALLMERS.
I never noticed that.
ASTA.
[_Struggling with her tears, rises._] Oh, my dear Alfred—let them rest—those who are gone.
[_She goes towards the right._
ALLMERS.
[_Rising._] Yes, let them rest. [_Wringing his hands._] But those who are gone—it is they that won’t let us rest, Asta. Neither day nor night.
ASTA.
[_Looks warmly at him._] Time will make it all seem easier, Alfred.
ALLMERS.
[_Looking helplessly at her._] Yes, don’t you think it will?—But how I am to get over these terrible first days [_Hoarsely._]—that is what I cannot imagine.
ASTA.
[_Imploringly, laying her hands on his shoulders._] Go up to Rita. Oh, please do——
ALLMERS.
[_Vehemently, withdrawing from her._] No, no, no—don’t talk to me of that! I cannot, I tell you. [_More calmly._] Let me remain here, with you.
ASTA.
Well, I will not leave you.
ALLMERS.
[_Seizing her hand and holding it fast._] Thank you for that! [_Looks out for a time over the fiord._] Where is my little Eyolf now? [_Smiling sadly to her._] Can you tell me that—my big, wise Eyolf? [_Shaking his head._] No one in all the world can tell me that. I know only this one terrible thing—that he is gone from me.
ASTA.
[_Looking up to the left, and withdrawing her hand._] Here they are coming.
[Mrs. ALLMERS _and_ Engineer BORGHEIM _come down by the wood-path, she leading the way. She wears a dark dress and a black veil over her head. He has an umbrella under his arm._
ALLMERS.
[_Going to meet her._] How is it with you, Rita?
RITA.
[_Passing him._] Oh, don’t ask.
ALLMERS.
Why do you come here?
RITA.
Only to look for you. What are you doing?
ALLMERS.
Nothing. Asta came down to me.
RITA.
Yes, but before Asta came? You have been away from me all the morning.
ALLMERS.
I have been sitting here looking out over the water.
RITA.
Ugh,—how can you?
ALLMERS.
[_Impatiently._] I like best to be alone now.
RITA.
[_Moving restlessly about._] And then to sit still! To stay in one place!
ALLMERS.
I have nothing in the world to move for.
RITA.
I cannot bear to be anywhere long. Least of all here—with the fiord at my very feet.
ALLMERS.
It is just the nearness of the fiord——
RITA.
[_To BORGHEIM._] Don’t you think he should come back with the rest of us?
BORGHEIM.
[_To ALLMERS._] I believe it would be better for you.
ALLMERS.
No, no; let me stay where I am.
RITA.
Then I will stay with you, Alfred.
ALLMERS.
Very well; do so, then. You remain too, Asta.
ASTA.
[_Whispers to BORGHEIM._] Let us leave them alone!
BORGHEIM.
[_With a glance of comprehension._] Miss Allmers, shall we go a little further—along the shore? For the very last time?
ASTA.
[_Taking her umbrella._] Yes, come. Let us go a little further.
[_ASTA and BORGHEIM go out together behind the boat-shed. ALLMERS wanders about for a little. Then he seats himself on a stone under the trees on the left._
RITA.
[_Comes up and stands before him, her hands folded and hanging down._] Can you think the thought, Alfred—that we have lost Eyolf?
ALLMERS.
[_Looking sadly at the ground._] We must accustom ourselves to think it.
RITA.
I cannot. I cannot. And then that horrible sight that will haunt me all my life long.
ALLMERS.
[_Looking up._] What sight? What have you seen?
RITA.
I have seen nothing myself. I have only heard it told. Oh——!
ALLMERS.
You may as well tell me at once.
RITA.
I got Borgheim to go down with me to the pier——
ALLMERS.
What did you want there?
RITA.
To question the boys as to how it happened.
ALLMERS.
But we know that.
RITA.
We got to know more.
ALLMERS.
Well?
RITA.
It is not true that he disappeared all at once.
ALLMERS.
Do they say that now?
RITA.
Yes. They say they saw him lying down on the bottom. Deep down in the clear water.
ALLMERS.
[_Grinding his teeth._] And they didn’t save him!
RITA.
I suppose they could not.
ALLMERS.
They could swim—every one of them. Did they tell you how he was lying whilst they could see him?
RITA.
Yes. They said he was lying on his back. And with great, open eyes.
ALLMERS.
Open eyes. But quite still?
RITA.
Yes, quite still. And then something came and swept him away. They called it the undertow.
ALLMERS.
[_Nodding slowly._] So that was the last they saw of him.
RITA.
[_Suffocated with tears._] Yes.
ALLMERS.
[_In a dull voice._] And never—never will any one see him again.
RITA.
[_Wailing._] I shall see him day and night, as he lay down there.
ALLMERS.
With great, open eyes.
RITA.
[_Shuddering._] Yes, with great, open eyes. I see them! I see them now!
ALLMERS.
[_Rises slowly and looks with quiet menace at her._] Were they evil, those eyes, Rita?
RITA.
[_Turning pale._] Evil——!
ALLMERS.
[_Going close up to her._] Were they evil eyes that stared up? Up from the depths?
RITA.
[_Shrinking from him._] Alfred——!
ALLMERS.
[_Following her._] Answer me! Were they a child’s evil eyes?
RITA.
[_Shrieks._] Alfred! Alfred!
ALLMERS.
Now things have come about—just as you wished, Rita.
RITA.
I! What did _I_ wish?
ALLMERS.
That Eyolf was not here.
RITA.
Never for a moment have I wished that! That Eyolf should not stand between us—that was what I wished.
ALLMERS.
Well, well—he does not stand between us any more.
RITA.
[_Softly, gazing straight before her._] Perhaps now more than ever. [_With a sudden shudder._] Oh, that horrible sight!
ALLMERS.
[_Nods._] The child’s evil eyes.
RITA.
[_In dread, recoiling from him._] Let me be, Alfred! I am afraid of you. I have never seen you like this before.
ALLMERS.
[_Looks harshly and coldly at her._] Sorrow makes us wicked and hateful.
RITA.
[_Terrified, and yet defiant._] That is what I feel, too.
[_ALLMERS goes towards the right and looks out over the fiord. RITA seats herself at the table. A short pause._
ALLMERS.
[_Turning his head towards her._] You never really and truly loved him—never!
RITA.
[_With cold self-control._] Eyolf would never let me take him really and truly to my heart.
ALLMERS.
Because you did not want to.
RITA.
Oh yes, I did. I did want to. But some one stood in the way—even from the first.
ALLMERS.
[_Turning right round._] Do you mean that _I_ stood in the way?
RITA.
Oh, no—not at first.
ALLMERS.
[_Coming nearer her._] Who, then?
RITA.
His aunt.
ALLMERS.
Asta?
RITA.
Yes. Asta stood and barred the way for me.
ALLMERS.
Can you say that, Rita?
RITA.
Yes. Asta—she took him to her heart—from the moment that happened—that miserable fall.
ALLMERS.
If she did so, she did it in love.
RITA.
[_Vehemently._] That is just it! I cannot endure to share anything with any one! Not in love.
ALLMERS.
We two should have shared him between us in love.
RITA.
[_Looking scornfully at him._] We? Oh, the truth is you have never had any real love for him either.
ALLMERS.
[_Looks at her in astonishment_] _I_ have not——!
RITA.
No, you have not. At first you were so utterly taken up by that book of yours—about Responsibility.
ALLMERS.
[_Forcibly._] Yes, I was. But my very book—I sacrificed for Eyolf’s sake.
RITA.
Not out of love for him.
ALLMERS.
Why then, do you suppose?
RITA.
Because you were consumed with mistrust of yourself. Because you had begun to doubt whether you had any great vocation to live for in the world.
ALLMERS.
[_Observing her closely._] Could you see that in me?
RITA.
Oh, yes—little by little. And then you needed something new to fill up your life.—It seems _I_ was not enough for you any longer.
ALLMERS.
That is the law of change, Rita.
RITA.
And that was why you wanted to make a prodigy of poor little Eyolf.
ALLMERS.
That was not what I wanted. I wanted to make a happy human being of him.—That, and nothing more.
RITA.
But not out of love for him. Look into yourself! [_With a certain shyness of expression._] Search out all that lies under—and behind your action.
ALLMERS.
[_Avoiding her eyes._] There is something you shrink from saying.
RITA.
And you too.
ALLMERS.
[_Looks thoughtfully at her._] If it is as you say, then we two have never really possessed our own child.
RITA.
No. Not in perfect love.
ALLMERS.
And yet we are sorrowing so bitterly for him.
RITA.
[_With sarcasm._] Yes, isn’t it curious that we should grieve like this over a little stranger boy?
ALLMERS.
[_With an outburst._] Oh, don’t call him a stranger!
RITA.
[_Sadly shaking her head._] We never won the boy, Alfred. Not I—nor you either.
ALLMERS.
[_Wringing his hands._] And now it is too late! Too late!
RITA.
And no consolation anywhere—in anything.
ALLMERS.
[_With sudden passion._] _You_ are the guilty one in this!
RITA.
[_Rising._] I!
ALLMERS.
Yes, you! It was your fault that he became—what he was! It was your fault that he could not save himself when he fell into the water.
RITA.
[_With a gesture of repulsion._] Alfred—you _shall_ not throw the blame upon me!
ALLMERS.
[_More and more beside himself._] Yes, yes, I do! It was you that left the helpless child unwatched upon the table.
RITA.
He was lying so comfortably among the cushions, and sleeping so soundly. And you had promised to look after him.
ALLMERS.
Yes, I had. [_Lowering his voice._] But then you came—you, you, you—and lured me to you.
RITA.
[_Looking defiantly at him._] Oh, better own at once that you forgot the child and everything else.
ALLMERS.
[_In suppressed desperation._] Yes, that is true. [_Lower._] I forgot the child—in your arms!
RITA.
[_Exasperated._] Alfred! Alfred—this is intolerable of you!
ALLMERS.
[_In a low voice, clenching his fists before her face._] In that hour you condemned little Eyolf to death.
RITA.
[_Wildly._] You, too! You, too—if it is as you say!
ALLMERS.
Oh yes—call me to account, too—if you will. We have sinned, both of us. And so, after all, there _was_ retribution in Eyolf’s death.
RITA.
Retribution?
ALLMERS.
[_With more self-control._] Yes. Judgment upon you and me. Now, as we stand here, we have our deserts. While he lived, we let ourselves shrink away from him in secret, abject remorse. We could not bear to see it—the thing he had to drag with him——
RITA.
[_Whispers._] The crutch.
ALLMERS.
Yes, that. And now, what we now call sorrow and heartache—is really the gnawing of conscience, Rita. Nothing else.
RITA.
[_Gazing helplessly at him._] I feel as if all this must end in despair—in madness for both of us. For we can never—never make it good again.
ALLMERS.
[_Passing into a calmer mood._] I dreamed about Eyolf last night. I thought I saw him coming up from the pier. He could run like other boys. So nothing had happened to him—neither the one thing nor the other. And the torturing reality was nothing but a dream, I thought. Oh, how I thanked and blessed——[_Checking himself._] H’m!
RITA.
[_Looking at him._] Whom?
ALLMERS.
[_Evasively._] Whom——?
RITA.
Yes; whom did you thank and bless?
ALLMERS.
[_Putting aside the question._] I was only dreaming, you know——
RITA.
One whom you yourself do not believe in?
ALLMERS.
That was how I felt, all the same. Of course, I was sleeping——
RITA.
[_Reproachfully._] You should not have taught me to doubt, Alfred.
ALLMERS.
Would it have been right of me to let you go through life with your mind full of empty fictions? RITA.
It would have been better for me; for then I should have had something to take refuge in. Now I am utterly at sea.
ALLMERS.
[_Observing her closely._] If you had the choice now——. If you could follow Eyolf to where he is——?
RITA.
Yes? What then?
ALLMERS.
If you were fully assured that you would find him again—know him—understand him——?
RITA.
Yes, yes; what then?
ALLMERS.
Would you, of your own free will, take the leap over to him? Of your own free will leave everything behind you? Renounce your whole earthly life? Would you, Rita?
RITA.
[_Softly._] Now, at once?
ALLMERS.
Yes; to-day. This very hour. Answer me—would you?
RITA.
[_Hesitating._] Oh, I don’t know, Alfred. No! I think I should have to stay here with you, a little while.
ALLMERS.
For my sake?
RITA.
Yes, only for your sake.
ALLMERS.
But afterwards? Would you then——? Answer!
RITA.
Oh, what can I answer? I _could_ not go away from you. Never! Never!
ALLMERS.
But suppose now _I_ went to Eyolf? And you had the fullest assurance that you would meet both him and me there. Then would you come over to us?
RITA.
I should want to—so much! so much! But——
ALLMERS.
Well?
RITA.
[_Moaning softly._] I could not—I feel it. No, no, I never could! Not for all the glory of heaven!
ALLMERS.
Nor I.
RITA.
No, you feel it so, too, don’t you, Alfred! You could not either, could you?
ALLMERS.
No. For it is here, in the life of earth, that we living beings are at home.
RITA.
Yes, here lies the kind of happiness that we can understand.
ALLMERS.
[_Darkly._] Oh, happiness—happiness——
RITA.
You mean that happiness—that we can never find it again? [_Looks inquiringly at him._] But if——? [_Vehemently._] No, no; I dare not say it! Nor even think it!
ALLMERS.
Yes, say it—say it, Rita.
RITA.
[_Hesitatingly._] Could we not try to——? Would it not be possible to forget him?
ALLMERS.
Forget Eyolf?
RITA.
Forget the anguish and remorse, I mean.
ALLMERS.
Can you wish it?
RITA.
Yes,—if it were possible. [_With an outburst._] For this—I cannot bear this for ever! Oh, can we not think of something that will bring us forgetfulness!
ALLMERS.
[_Shakes his head._] What could that be?
RITA.
Could we not see what travelling would do—far away from here?
ALLMERS.
From home? When you know you are never really well anywhere but here.
RITA.
Well, then, let us have crowds of people about us! Keep open house! Plunge into something that can deaden and dull our thoughts.
ALLMERS.
Such a life would be impossible for me.—No,—rather than that, I would try to take up my work again.
RITA.
[_Bitingly._] Your work—the work that has always stood like a dead wall between us!
ALLMERS.
[_Slowly, looking fixedly at her._] There must always be a dead wall between us two, from this time forth.
RITA.
Why must there——?
ALLMERS.
Who knows but that a child’s great, open eyes are watching us day and night.
RITA.
[_Softly, shuddering._] Alfred—how terrible to think of!
ALLMERS.
Our love has been like a consuming fire. Now it must be quenched——
RITA.
[_With a movement towards him._] Quenched!
ALLMERS.
[_Hardly._] It is quenched—in one of us.
RITA.
[_As if petrified._] And you dare say that to me!
ALLMERS.
[_More gently._] It is dead, Rita. But in what I now feel for you—in our common guilt and need of atonement—I seem to foresee a sort of resurrection——
RITA.
[_Vehemently._] I don’t care a bit about any resurrection!
ALLMERS.
Rita!
RITA.
I am a warm-blooded being! I don’t go drowsing about—with fishes’ blood in my veins. [_Wringing her hands._] And now to be imprisoned for life—in anguish and remorse! Imprisoned with one who is no longer mine, mine, mine!
ALLMERS.
It must have ended so, sometime, Rita.
RITA.
Must have ended so! The love that in the beginning rushed forth so eagerly to meet with love!
ALLMERS.
My love did not rush forth to you in the beginning.
RITA.
What did you feel for me, first of all?
ALLMERS.
Dread.
RITA.
That I can understand. How was it, then, that I won you after all?
ALLMERS.
[_In a low voice._] You were so entrancingly beautiful, Rita.
RITA.
[_Looks searchingly at him._] Then that was the only reason? Say it, Alfred! The only reason?
ALLMERS.
[_Conquering himself._] No, there was another as well.
RITA.
[_With an outburst._] I can guess what that was! It was “my gold, and my green forests,” as you call it. Was it not so, Alfred?
ALLMERS.
Yes.
RITA.
[_Looks at him with deep reproach._] How could you—how could you!
ALLMERS.
I had Asta to think of.
RITA.
[_Angrily._] Yes, Asta! [_Bitterly._] Then it was really Asta that brought us two together?
ALLMERS.
She knew nothing about it. She has no suspicion of it, even to this day.
RITA.
[_Rejecting the plea._] It was Asta, nevertheless! [_Smiling, with a sidelong glance of_ _scorn._] Or, no—it was little Eyolf. Little Eyolf, my dear!
ALLMERS.
Eyolf——?
RITA.
Yes, you used to call her Eyolf, did you not? I seem to remember your telling me so—once, in a moment of confidence. [_Coming up to him._] Do you remember it—that entrancingly beautiful hour, Alfred?
ALLMERS.
[_Recoiling, as if in horror._] I remember nothing! I _will_ not remember!
RITA.
[_Following him._] It was in that hour—when your other little Eyolf was crippled for life!
ALLMERS.
[_In a hollow voice, supporting himself against the table._] Retribution!
RITA.
[_Menacingly._] Yes, retribution!
[_ASTA and BORGHEIM return by way of the boat-shed. She is carrying some water-lilies in her hand._
RITA.
[_With self-control._] Well, Asta, have you and Mr. Borgheim talked things thoroughly over?
ASTA.
Oh, yes—pretty well.
[_She puts down her umbrella and lays the flowers upon a chair._
BORGHEIM.
Miss Allmers has been very silent during our walk.
RITA.
Indeed, has she? Well, Alfred and I have talked things out thoroughly enough——
ASTA.
[_Looking eagerly at both of them._] What is this——?
RITA.
Enough to last all our lifetime, I say. [_Breaking off._] Come now, let us go up to the house, all four of us. We must have company about us in future. It will never do for Alfred and me to be alone.
ALLMERS.
Yes, do you go ahead, you two. [_Turning._] I must speak a word to you before we go, Asta.
RITA.
[_Looking at him._] Indeed? Well then, you come with me, Mr. Borgheim.
[_RITA and BORGHEIM go up the wood-path._
ASTA.
[_Anxiously._] Alfred, what is the matter?
ALLMERS.
[_Darkly._] Only that I cannot endure to be here any more.
ASTA.
Here! With Rita, do you mean?
ALLMERS.
Yes. Rita and I cannot go on living together.
ASTA.
[_Seizes his arm and shakes it._] Oh, Alfred—don’t say anything so terrible!
ALLMERS.
It is the truth I am telling you. We are making each other wicked and hateful.
ASTA.
[_With painful emotion._] I had never—never dreamt of anything like this!
ALLMERS.
I did not realise it either, till to-day.
ASTA.
And now you want to——! What is it you really want, Alfred?
ALLMERS.
I want to get away from everything here—far, far away from it all.
ASTA.
And to stand quite alone in the world?
ALLMERS.
[_Nods._] As I used to, before, yes.
ASTA.
But you are not fitted for living alone!
ALLMERS.
Oh, yes. I was so in the old days, at any rate.
ASTA.
In the old days, yes; for then you had me with you.
ALLMERS.
[_Trying to take her hand._] Yes. And it is to you, Asta, that I now want to come home again.
ASTA.
[_Eluding him._] To me! No, no, Alfred! That is quite impossible.
ALLMERS.
[_Lookes sadly at her._] Then Borgheim stands in the way after all?
ASTA.
[_Earnestly._] No, no; he does not! That is quite a mistake!
ALLMERS.
Good. Then I will come to you—my dear, dear sister. I must come to you again—home to you, to be purified and ennobled after my life with——
ASTA.
[_Shocked._] Alfred,—you are doing Rita a great wrong!
ALLMERS.
I have done her a great wrong. But not in this. Oh, think of it, Asta—think of our life together, yours and mine. Was it not like one long holy-day from first to last?
ASTA.
Yes, it was, Alfred. But we can never live it over again.
ALLMERS.
[_Bitterly._] Do you mean that marriage has so irreparably ruined me?
ASTA.
[_Quietly_] No, that is not what I mean.
ALLMERS.
Well, then we two will live our old life over again.
ASTA.
[_With decision._] We cannot, Alfred.
ALLMERS.
Yes, we can. For the love of a brother and sister——
ASTA.
[_Eagerly._] What of it?
ALLMERS.
That is the only relation in life that is not subject to the law of change.
ASTA.
[_Softly and tremblingly._] But if that relation were not——
ALLMERS.
Not——?
ASTA.
——not our relation?
ALLMERS.
[_Stares at her in astonishment._] Not ours? Why, what can you mean by that?
ASTA.
It is best I should tell you at once, Alfred.
ALLMERS.