Part 2

_Steps toward the Climax of Action_: Summary repetitions of the dramatic climax scene emphasize the winning out of Nag Hong Fah. 2. Nag Hong Fah receives permission from the official head of Fanny’s family to beat her. 3. She becomes the submissive wife; the family seems a model of happiness.

4. Fanny exhibits an “imitation” bracelet.

5. Her apparent adherence to “the straight and narrow” is intensified by Brian’s report of the Finnish sailor episode.

6. Fanny comes down with pneumonia. (Does this seem logical or a too obvious device of the author?)

7. Nag writes to Yung Quai and sends money for her transportation to New York.

8. He indicates to the dying Fanny that he will educate her daughter, and from the sale of Fanny’s possessions--including the imitation bracelet.

_Climax of Action_ in the first line of interest.--

Fanny, in a magnificent final flame of contempt and victory, declares the worth of the bracelet, and that Yung Long gave it to her. (Recall the allusion, page 4, to this point as the “dramatic climax” for Nag Hong Fah.)

_Steps toward the Dénouement_: The scene between Nag Hong Fah and Yung Long, wherein Nag conveys to Yung his knowledge of the gift, and “motivates” the real cause of the gift. Yung affirms Nag’s judgment, and further indicates that Señora Garcia might best be put out of the way. Nag Hong Fah agrees that it would be but a simple act of piety and goes to get his knife. (Do they here “mean what they say” or “say what they mean”?)

The _struggle_, then, in the first line of interest (the story of Fanny and Nag Hong Fah) is one between the Occident and the Orient. The Occident wins, in the person of Fanny. But because of the second line of interest (the story of Nag Hong Fah, Yung Long and Yung Quai), the victory gives way to the victory of the Orient. Study the story for the points of contact of these two lines, the complication effected, and the unification of the two interests.

_Suspense_: Suspense sets in at the beginning, when after the murder, the question arises, “Why did he kill her?” This question is accompanied by a desire to know more about the murderer. The story if it fulfils the implied promise will explain. Desire to know whether the murderer is apprehended is satisfied after the next hundred words or so, in the sentence, “For he is still at liberty.” Herein, also, lies an element of novelty; the more unoriginal story presents the crime, then arouses suspense as to whether the criminal will be caught, and justice meted out. (Study the story for further working of the principle of suspense. What question motivates your reading after Nag Hong Fah beats Fanny, for example?)

_Suggestion_: What is suggested to the reader in Fanny’s becoming a model wife? In Miss Ritter’s speech about “Real love”? In the “imitation” bracelet? How much of the business “off-stage,” after Fanny’s subsidence, is built up by the reader?

CHARACTERIZATION. The dominant character interest lies in the racial features, which are set off by contrast with each other. The author manifests skill in creating hybrid Fanny, a product of racial crossing. In order of importance, the main figures are: Nag Hong Fah, Fanny, Yung Long, Quai Long.

Nag Hong Fah is played up as the chief character through

A. His rôle; he is easily the most important by virtue of the part assigned to him.

B. Dramatic management on the author’s part.

1. He is the figure most constantly found on the stage.

2. He is the protagonist in the scenes presented.

3. He is frequently followed behind the scenes. (Purpose here being to create variety of effect, so far as is consistent with a larger unity.)

C. Stylistic management.

1. Giving to Nag Hong Fah the places of rhetorical emphasis--the beginning and the end of the story.

Study the story for concrete examples that illustrate the main points just made. Study, also, the proportion given to other characters. What is the greatest contributory value of Señora Garcia? Of Edith Ritter? Nag Sen Yet? The Chinese Soothsayer? Brian Neill? Little Brian? Mamie Ryan? Little Fanny? Compare the author’s ability to describe physical details with his skill in revealing mental characteristics. To what extent does the outer personality reveal the inner? Answer for each of the important characters.

LOCAL COLOR.

A. _Setting_: The locality is conveyed in the first sentence. Where is it repeated, and how? What contrasts do you find in the larger setting? What details, for example, contribute to the Oriental characteristics? Which to the American? Value of the opium? of the schooner of beer? of the ivory sticks? Why is the flat (page 5) described in detail as to furnishings? (Give two reasons, from two points of view.) What is the value of the contrast between indications of wealth and of the neighborhood features?

B. _Customs_: What customs testify to Captain Abdullah’s intimate acquaintance with the Chinese?

C. _Speech_: Compare the Oriental matter, manner, and meaning with the American matter, manner, and meaning.

D. _Dress_: What bearing on character have the accessories of dress? Yung Long’s bowler hat, his loose sleeves and fan, Fanny’s furs, the earrings of jade, and the bracelet--all serve what purpose?

_Atmosphere_: Captain Abdullah says (page 4) “the tale is of the Orient.” Note that he has secured the Oriental _feel_, or atmosphere, modified slightly by the American intrusion, through the harmonizing of character, speech, dress, customs,--above all, by emphasizing the things “which matter most to the Oriental.” Contrast to similar Occidental characteristics is subordinated to the intensification, and is, therefore, contributory to the larger impression.

As to the short-story, Captain Abdullah thinks that length has nothing to do with it. “It can be seven hundred words long, or seventy thousand. As to the latter length, I consider Frank Swinnerton’s _Nocturne_ a short-story.” And he offers as a tentative definition this: “The short-story is a story grouped logically about the same character and characters, every bit of plot and action working together to affect, influence, and make a background for the same character and characters, eliminating, in contrast to a novel, all side issues.”...

THE SACRIFICIAL ALTAR

GERMINAL IDEA. “It is so long since I wrote ‘The Sacrificial Altar’ that I am rather hazy. My impression is that I set out to draw a born artist hampered by certain disabilities, and one of these being a disinclination for life and utter absence of the love instinct, all the forces of his nature concentrated upon his art, until they reached the point of obsession. It was not until after he had written the last book that he reacted to the normal instincts he had inherited and which had been automatically developed by the most normal bourgeoisie on earth.”--_Gertrude Atherton._

ANALYSIS OF PLOT.

_Initial Incident_: César Dupont persuades Louis Bac to meet Berthe. (Note, even in the single incident, the struggle--one of wills--and the argument which wins the younger man.)

_Steps to the Dramatic Climax_: 1. Louis meets Berthe and “feels nothing.” 2. “--a daring idea sprang ... darted into Louis’s relaxed brain.” 3. Louis goes to the Dupont mansion, steals to the girl’s room, sees her asleep. “He gazed resentfully at that diminished beauty.... Why not give her a fright?” He seizes a pillow and presses it against her face. “She made a sudden downward movement, gurgling. With a quick, cat-like leap he was on her chest.”

_Dramatic Climax_: His soul and passions are liberated. “The body lay limp and flabby at last.”

_Steps to the Climax of Action_: 1. Louis takes pains to divert suspicion from himself. 2. In the next three months he writes his book. (Note that this is the climax of action in the _artist’s_ struggle, that the murder is the turning point after which he succeeds artistically. But the climax of action for the _man_ is yet to come.) 3. At the end of the three months, he hears that another has been hanged as the murderer. 4. He confesses to M. Dupont. 5. Dupont refuses to believe the story. 6. Louis writes his confession.

_The Climax of Action_: He walks to the Catholic cemetery and shuts himself into the family vault.

_Dénouement_: Left to the reader. By a clue on page 16 one would gather that Bac drank poison or cut his wrists.

Study the development of this plot, as to scenes, summaries, condensations, accelerations, gaps, and omissions with reference to the artistic effect. For example, the initial incident is presented dramatically, the characters act it before the reader. The steps to the dramatic climax are presented partly in retrospect, from Louis’s point of view; those nearest the climax are given dramatically.

Study the plot, also, with respect to the struggle. What details are “for” Louis’s artistic success? How are they related to those “against” his physical being?

Is the plot, in connection with the development of Louis’s character, probable? What logic has the author employed to make it seem so? Mrs. Atherton’s own testimony is valuable by way of reflecting the artist’s temperament. As she herself says, although she has never been impelled to murder and has had always a consuming interest in life, yet until the war, she never permitted anything to interfere with her work.

CHARACTERIZATION. What value is there in Louis Bac’s being French? Mrs. Atherton plays up Louis by making him the spot-light figure and by presenting the story from his angle. The invasion of his mind results, incidentally, in the reader’s seeing the setting, situation, and characters as he sees them.

Study the author’s description and exposition of Louis Bac, then his speeches and his acts. What do the other characters think of him? Observe how the various methods of portraiture strengthen one another in the finished portrait.

Berthe is lightly touched. The reader must “believe” in her as a beautiful young girl, but must not give her too great sympathy. Overmuch attention to her would have detracted from the character unity of the narrative.

César Dupont is the contemporary representative of the confidant, offering opportunity for dramatic form (in the scene work) and consequent interest. Unity of action and effect is conserved by making him Berthe’s uncle; moreover, probability and verisimilitude are gained by the relationship. Madame Dupont, M. Jules Constant, Louis’s servants, and others, are the background characters, carefully subdued so as not to interfere with the chief action and consequent story unity.

Note every reference to San Francisco, then ask yourself how strongly the setting works toward the securing of the reader’s credulity. Try telling the story, mentally, without allusion to locale. What is lost? “On a pedestal was a vase that had belonged to Napoleon, wired and fastened down,” etc. What is the value of this sentence in the direction of capturing belief? Study the management of the _time_ element.

ATMOSPHERE. Study the _feeling_ of the story in connection with the place. The first sentence of the narrative strikes the tone “gray,” and gives the setting. “Lone Mountain” conveys what impression? The cemetery, used so powerfully in the climax of action, deepens the gray note to its most somber hue. This increased depth of tone works integratively with the action to the powerful climax. Point out all the words and phrases that intensify the atmosphere.

PRESENTATION OF THE ACTION. The narrator is the author who knows all, sees all, and exercises omniscience over Louis’s mind.

Tell the plot without adhering to Louis’s point of view, placing every event in the order of its occurrence. Note the loss in suspense and cumulative effect.

DETAILS.

_Suspense_: Where does the story first grip you, and why? At what point does the cause for suspense change, and with what bearing on your interest?

_Clues_: Make a list of clues to the tragic conclusion; _e.g._, “If I am awake” (page 33).

_Proportion_: How much of the narrative is devoted to antecedent circumstances? Notice the long preliminary, the logical necessity for an accurate disclosure of character at the beginning, and compare it with the fine art which leaves the dénouement partly to the reader.

_Suggestion._--At what points did you unconsciously create incidents or summarize them?

GENERAL METHODS OF MRS. ATHERTON. “I rarely have the solution of a story or novel in mind, merely the principal character, the central idea, and the _mis-en-scène_. I prefer to let the story work itself out. Else, where would be the fun in it? Writing to me is an adventure, and if I knew beforehand how it was to turn out I should take no more interest in it than I should take in the following year if I knew what was to happen every day. Nevertheless, I would reject any finale that I did not think logical. An arbitrary ending for the sake of dramatic effect or conciliating the public makes the whole book or story worthless artistically.”

THE EXCURSION

GERMINAL IDEA, OR STARTING-POINT. “The ‘Excursion’ was written from the humorous delight I have always felt in excursions; it was started merely as humorous description of certain inevitable excursion types. I put the ‘story’ into already written appreciations of sartorial and millinery triumphs as demonstrated on any well-developed excursion.”--_Edwina Stanton Babcock._

CLASSIFICATION. A study in realism, wherein the general picture and all the excursionists are of quite as much importance as the few predominant characters.

PLOT. Loosely interpreted, plot may be termed a summing up of the “story,” a recapitulation. Technically, the plot is the underlying plan “of which no part can be removed without ruin to the whole”; it is the development of the struggle or conflict which every “short-story” possesses in common with the drama.

What in “The Excursion” is the struggle? What part does the dialogue between the two sisters play in the revelation of the struggle? If the struggle were made dominant, what lamentable result would follow for the “situation” value of the whole narrative? Is there a hint near the conclusion that the struggle may have an outcome? Is the plot finished, then, as the author has left it? What is the embryonic dramatic climax or turning point? (Find the moment when the feelings of the passengers change toward Mrs. Tuttle.)

CHARACTERIZATION. What types are represented in Mrs. Tuttle? Mrs. Cronney? Mrs. Tinneray? Mr. Tinneray? Mrs. Mealer? Mrs. Bean? The “lady in a purple raincoat”? “A mild mannered youth with no chin?” Miss Mealer? Hypatia Smith? Test the economy and effectiveness of Miss Babcock’s portrayal by asking yourself what further things these people would do or say. Are the types such as would be found in the same boat?

Compare the few figures of prominence with those of the background. Are they in “high relief” or “low relief”?

ATMOSPHERE. Realistic; it has the “feel” of the typical American excursion. To achieve it, were necessary the author’s keen observation, sane vision, and sense of humor.

ACCESSORY DETAILS. Enhancing and emphasizing the reality of the occasion are the features, objects, and acts associated with excursions. The crunch of peanuts, the search for chewing gum, the squinting through ivory-headed canes,--such details of the composition indicate meticulous workmanship on the part of Miss Babcock. Notice whether these features appeal rather to sight, to hearing, or to other senses. What do you deduce?

GENERAL METHODS OF MISS BABCOCK. “To me, in writing, the story is keyed by a face, the note of a man’s or a woman’s voice, a bit of lonely moorland, a scene in a railway station, some little amusing bit some one tells me. Then comes incubation for an absurdly uncertain time. Then I dress up in a mass of what seems to me related detail the significant centre, trying usually to thrust in a few bits of humor for the simple reason that life is made of it and the huge wonder is that the whole world does not ‘grin like a dog and go about the city.’... I love to paint things I’ve seen--particularly natural things....”

CRUELTIES

STARTING POINT. Edwina Stanton Babcock says that “Cruelties” was written around the figure of the spinster, Frenzy, at whom she has had peeps for nearly eighteen years. Her formal and carefully elaborate English,--her garden, and her worries over it--all are drawn from what Miss Babcock considers story material “for any one.” Mrs. Tyarck and Mrs. Capron were painted in contrasts, and “little Johnny Tyarck and what went on inside of his wispy head at prayer meeting was put in because of my own ceaseless wonder as to what goes on inside the heads of the Johnny Tyarcks of this world.”

“Cruelties” took a long time to crystallize and it seemed to me that the dénouement never really consummated. I longed to have the wayward girl more of a person, but the confines of the story would not allow it. I wrote four drafts of it, cutting out quantities each time.”

PLOT. Compared with “The Excursion,” this story possesses a framework more substantial and of better architecture. Though most readers will be interested in the personality of the characters, rather than in the action, nevertheless they will enjoy the steady and perceptible progress to the solution of the slight complication. This complication the author has effected through the entangling of two interests. The first is the one-sided struggle which arises between the women, Mrs. Tyarck _et al_, and Miss Giddings--one-sided, inasmuch as the former are active, while the latter is passive. It is motivated by Frenzy’s attempt to rid her roses of worms. (Is this motivation sufficient to account for the animosity? What circumstance abets it? What value has the fact that Mrs. Capron is a tract distributor?) The second line of interest has to do with the young girl’s downfall and rehabilitation. The fact that Miss Giddings becomes her champion increases the petty animosity. The outcome of the complication shows Frenzy triumphant, in the scene between her and Mrs. Tyarck.

Are you satisfied with this dénouement? Why?

What motivation has Miss Babcock employed to explain the girl’s taking refuge with Miss Giddings? Is it adequate and convincing?

_Initial Incident_: Two phases, each suggesting an individual line of interest. 1. Scene in Frenzy’s shop; the women see the girl pass. 2. Scene in Frenzy’s garden, emphasizing the struggle between Frenzy and insects. (What significance has the fact that the ladies enter into relations with the fly-paper? What symbolic part has the cherry tree?)

_Steps toward the Dramatic Climax_: Mrs. Capron prays the Lord to “keep us from needless cruelties.” The author summarily indicates that Frenzy becomes the butt of petty spite.

_Dramatic Climax_: First phase, as narrated, lies in Miss Giddings’s metaphorical burial. Her enemies are at the highest peak of their mean triumph. The second phase, intensifying the first, indicates the girl’s downfall. (Point out the forecast to this dramatic climax.)

_Steps toward the Climax of Action_: 1. The incident of the girl’s return. 2. Miss Frenzy keeps her, as an assistant. 3. Mrs. Tyarck, in disapproval, takes her patronage to the “other” store; Mrs. Capron bestows tracts.

_Climax of Action_: Frenzy turns the tables in completely routing her enemy. (Scene between Mrs. Tyarck and Frenzy.)

_Dénouement_: Frenzy’s conjecture about the cherry tree closes the story.

(What does the author lose in summarizing, rather than in dramatizing, her dramatic climax? What does she gain in relative values by its subdual?)

CHARACTERIZATION. By emphasizing physical traits Miss Babcock has differentiated her characters unmistakably, if a bit obviously. Frenzy’s stiffly refined diction (in contrast to the slangy speech of coarse Mrs. Tyarck), and Mrs. Capron’s hawking illustrate her method. Tabulate the characteristics of the chief figures.

How has she individualized them by their acts? In connection with your study of personal appearance, evaluate the use: 1. Of the “two large pins of green ... like bulbous, misplaced eyes”.... 2. Of the wing on Mrs. Tyarck’s hat. 3. Of the girl’s red sweater.

The only masculine figures who appear on the stage are little Johnnie Tyarck and Mr. Bloomby. Is the fact that their male presence contributes to background, or to realistic effect, a sufficient gain for shifting to their respective points of view?

Which of the characters is most frequently found in every day life?

LOCAL COLOR. To what extent do the details of setting (including customs, dialect, dress) typify any American rural community? Can you justify the full paragraph on the buttons?

TIME ELEMENT. How has the author handled the flight of months without seeming unduly to prolong the action or to break the unity of effect?

ATMOSPHERE. Realistic, it reflects the mood of the author who sees life as it is, rather than of the author dominated by so-called “temperament.” She sees characters and events, for the most part, through the kindly glow of humor.

What double cause for smiling exists in the title of the tract delivered in the first scene? Point out other examples of humor.

“Usually in beginning a story,” Miss Babcock says, “the first paragraph sets a sort of mechanism going in me and controls the tone and atmosphere of the story. Thus, you see, I almost _have_ to begin with a paragraph a little long. My great difficulty is my love of description and painting of pictures--I despair of characters because I know that one really never gets the whole character into the story, any more than one gets it in life. I think the writer must make the character act like its description. A spit-curl character must have spit-curl ideas and behavior. The more I write the more I am convinced that the writer is a slave to two contradictory convictions; that is, that he must give the truth of the story as he has visioned it, and that there _is no_ truth but that the story-telling art has its very beginning in creating illusions.”

ONNIE

CLASSIFICATION. Onnie is a story of character; the trait exploited leads to the tragic dénouement.

GERMINAL IDEA. “The genesis of ‘Onnie’ was a desire to record the dialect of one Patrick Qualey, a gardener, now extinct. Patrick had preserved to the age of seventy his Celtic fibre quite unimpaired. I think he rather prided himself on the act, and, perhaps, embroidered the garment of his speech a trifle. He died very tamely of pneumonia, and Forest County, Pa., was _not_ his abiding place. As for Onnie, I confess that I am weary of lovely Irishwomen, and a witty Irishwoman I have never met....”--_Thomas Beer._

CHARACTERIZATION. Read the story rapidly, and immediately ask yourself, “What impression have I received of Onnie, physically, mentally, and spiritually?” Go over the story again, making note of every mention of Onnie, and observe how forcefully, yet adroitly, the author has emphasized details. What is the value of having different characters observe her monstrousness and her homeliness?

Notice that Onnie’s superstition makes her say, “The gifts of children are the blessin’s of Mary’s self,” but that her “odd scapular” has a sinister significance throughout. Is this sinister suggestion in harmony with the final sacrifice? Estimate the number of words in the story, then the number emphasizing Onnie; finally, the proportion devoted to the main incident and preparation for it. What is the length of time over which Onnie’s devotion to San extends? The length of the “story” part of the narrative? If the proportion were reversed, what would be the effect on the character work? On the poignancy?

Name in order the other characters of the narrative, and notice the proportion given to each. Study the ways in which the author makes San a lovable youngster. Take account of his acts, his speeches, what his father thinks of him, what the men do for his protection. In the same way, take stock of the ways whereby Percival is presented as a villain of the lowest type.

Are there too many characters in “Onnie” for best short-story effect?