Part 3

Do not examine yourself so carefully to discover whether you are in perfection or not; for, should we attain the greatest perfection we should neither know nor recognise it, but always consider ourselves imperfect. The end of our examen should never be to discover whether we are imperfect, for that we should never doubt.

214.

Therefore we should never be astonished at imperfection or let it sadden us; for we cannot fail to find ourselves imperfect in this life, and there is no remedy for it save humility, since by this virtue we shall repair our faults and gradually improve.

215.

It is for the exercise of this virtue that our imperfections are left to us, since it is inexcusable not to seek to correct them, and excusable not to succeed perfectly; for it is not with imperfections as it is with sins.

216.

If you wish to do well, regard as a temptation every suggestion concerning change of place; for while your mind is looking beyond where it should be, it will never apply itself to doing well the duty which lies before it.

217.

We must not desire all to begin by perfection. It matters little how one begins, provided he be resolved to go on well, and end well.

218.

I tell you that you will be faithful if you are humble. But will you be humble? Yes, if you wish it. But I do wish it. Then you are humble. But I feel that I am not. So much the better; that helps to make you more so.

219.

You desire that it should always be spring in your soul, but that cannot be. We must endure vicissitudes of weather interiorly as well as exteriorly. It is only in heaven that we shall find the perpetual beauty of spring, the perpetual ripening of summer, the perpetual fruition of autumn. There we shall have no winter; but here winter is required for the exercise of abnegation, and a thousand little virtues which are practised in times of sterility.

220.

My God! We shall soon be in eternity, and then we shall see how unimportant are all the things of this world, and how little it mattered whether they were accomplished or not. Yet we are as anxious about them now as if they were affairs of great importance.

221.

Verily, we do not like crosses if they are not of gold enamelled, and adorned with precious stones.

222.

I am sad and will not speak; this is what parrots do. I am sad, but I speak because charity requires it; thus do spiritual persons. I am despised and I get angry; peacocks and monkeys act thus. I am despised and I rejoice; thus did the Apostles.

223.

Examine whether your heart pleases God?—you must not do it;—but whether his pleases you? yes, truly, for if you look at his Heart, it cannot but please you, it is so sweet, so condescending, so loving towards frail creatures when they recognise their misery, so merciful to the miserable, so kind to the penitent....

224.

Be just; neither excuse nor accuse your poor soul without due reflection, lest by excusing it without reason you render it insolent, or by lightly accusing it you weaken its courage and make it pusillanimous.

225.

How many courtiers there are who go into the presence of the king a hundred times, not to speak to him or listen to him, but merely to be seen by him, and to show by this assiduity that they are his servants. When, then, you come into the presence of our Lord, speak to Him if you can; if you cannot, remain and show yourself to Him, and do not be anxious to do any more.

226.

You do nothing in meditation, you tell me. But what should you do if not just what you are doing, that is, presenting and representing your misery and nothingness to God? The most efficacious appeal a beggar can make is to expose to our eyes his ulcers and necessities.

227.

But sometimes you do not even do this, and you remain before Him like a phantom or statue. Well, that is something. In the palaces of princes and kings there are statues which are only meant to gratify the eyes of the king; content yourself with a similar service in the presence of God. He will animate the statue when it pleases Him. Were we to ask the statue if it desired anything it would answer, “No; I am where my master placed me, and his pleasure is the sole happiness of my being.”

228.

Ah! but it is a good prayer, and a good method of keeping one’s self in the presence of God, to wait upon his will and good pleasure.

229.

As for me, I think that we keep ourselves in the presence of God even while we sleep, for we go to sleep in his presence and by his will. And when we wake we find that He is beside us, that He has not stirred from us, nor we from Him; therefore we have kept ourselves in his presence, though with closed eyes.

230.

When a certain cross is given to you alone it is of more value, and it should be dearer to you because of its rarity.

231.

God be praised! God or nothing; for all that is not God is nothing, or worse than nothing.

232.

Do not turn your eyes on your infirmities and incapacity, except to humble yourself; never let them discourage you.

233.

Finally, do not be angry, or at least troubled because you have been troubled; do not be overcome because you have allowed yourself to be overcome; do not be disquieted because you have allowed yourself to be disquieted by angry passions; but take your heart and place it gently in the hands of our Lord and ask Him to cure it; meanwhile, do all you can to renew and strengthen your good resolutions.

234.

The highest degree of humility is not only to recognise but to love our abjection. I am guilty of a blunder; it brings humiliation upon me; good. I am guilty of immoderate anger; I am sorry for the offence against God, and very glad that it proves me vile, abject, and miserable.

235.

If envy could reign in the kingdom of eternal love, the angels would envy the sufferings of God for man, and the sufferings of man for God.

236.

Do not be troubled about not making acts of virtue well; for, as I told you, they do not cease to be very good, even when made languidly and wearily as if by force. You can only give God what you have, and in this season of affliction you have no other action to offer Him.

237.

You will be very happy if you receive with a filial and loving heart what our Lord sends you from a heart so paternal in its care of your perfection.

238.

I will not tell you not to regard your afflictions, for your impulsive heart will answer, “I cannot but consider them, they make themselves so keenly felt;” but I tell you to look at them through the cross, and you will find them so small, or at least so agreeable, that you will rather endure their suffering than all consolations without them.

239.

Right sadness speaks thus: “I am miserable, vile, and abject; nevertheless God will exercise his mercy towards me, for virtue will be perfected in infirmity.”

240.

When our Lord was upon the cross even his enemies declared Him King; when souls are upon the cross they are declared queens.

241.

Ah! do not examine whether what you do is much or little, whether it is done well or ill, provided it be not sin, and provided you have an upright intention to do it for God. Do everything as perfectly as you can; but, once an action is performed, think no more of it, but rather of what there is to be done.

242.

We should equally resolve upon two things: first, to bring the utmost fidelity to the fulfilment of our exercises; second, to be in no way troubled, disquieted, or astonished if we sometimes fail; for the first comes from our fidelity, which should always be earnest and constantly increasing, and the latter comes from our infirmity.

243.

We must, then, correct our poor heart gently and quietly, and not add to its trouble by the severity of our reprimands. “My heart, my friend,” we should say, “in the name of God, take courage; let us keep on and be more watchful in future; let us turn to our Helper and our God.” Alas! we must be charitable to our poor soul, and refrain from severity as long as we see that its offences are not deliberate.

244.

Loadstone attracts iron, amber attracts hay and straw; were we hard as iron, or light as straws, we must unite ourselves to this Sovereign Infant Jesus, who truly draws all hearts to Him.

245.

The best thoughts, affections, and aspirations of a great soul are fixed upon the infinitude of eternity; destined as such a soul is for immortality, it finds all that is not eternal too short, all that is not infinite too small.

246.

Yes, speak little, and gently, little and well, little and frankly, little and amiably.

247.

O my God, how beautiful must heaven be, now that the Saviour is its Sun, and his bosom is a fountain of love where the blessed drink at will!

248.

Each one looks therein and sees his name written in characters of love—characters which love alone can read, which love alone has graven.

249.

St. John the Baptist, through obedience, kept himself absent from our Saviour, knowing well that to seek our Saviour outside of obedience was to lose Him.

250.

I leave you to imagine the good odour which this beautiful lily (the Blessed Virgin) spreads in the house of Zachary. What could she give forth but that with which she was filled? And she was filled with Jesus.

251.

My God, I marvel to find that I am so full of myself after so many communions.

252.

There are two kinds of wills: one says, “I would like very much to do good; but it costs a disagreeable effort; it is too difficult;” the other says: “I desire indeed to do good; the will is not wanting, but the power alone stops me.” The first fills hell, the second paradise, and it was the latter will which caused Daniel to be called a “man of desires.”

253.

I pray you, hide your trouble from yourself as much as you can, and if you feel it, at least do not think about it. You are a little given to dwelling upon it.

254.

You tell me that it is hard to will to do, and to be unable to do. I do not say to you that we must will what we can do, but that before God it is a great deal to be able to will.

255.

What would you do, if you were never to be delivered from your trials? You would say to God: “I am thine; if my miseries are pleasing to Thee multiply them, prolong them.” Make friends with your trials, as if you were always to live together, and you will find that when you no longer think of them and cease to be anxious, God will deliver you from them.

256.

No, my dear daughter, I am not troubled as long as our resolutions remain steadfast. Though we were to die, though everything were to be overturned, what would it matter provided they continued firm?

257.

Our night is as brilliant as our day, when God is in our hearts, and our day is night when God is absent from us.

258.

A spirit of indifference helps us in all things, even to making us content during seven weeks, when a father, and a father who loves as I do, and a daughter, such as you, receive no news of each other.

259.

Let the darkness be what it may, we are near the light. Let our impotence be what it may, we are at the feet of the All-powerful.

260.

I shall say nothing of the extent of my affection for you, except that it is incomparable, that it is whiter than the snow, and purer than the sun.

261.

There is nothing which prevents our attaining the perfection of our vocation like desiring another.

262.

I beseech you, my dear daughter, do not fear God as you do, for He does not wish to harm you; love Him fervently, for He wishes to do you a great deal of good.

263.

Our Lord will cause us to enjoy peace when we shall be sufficiently humble to sweetly endure war.

264.

Nothing can equal in merit the offering of our sorrows to Him who saved us by his own.

265.

Dwell very little upon the mixture of self-love in your actions; we should pay no attention to these sallies of self. When we disavow them two or three times a day we have done all that is required. Nor must we violently resist them; a gentle denial is sufficient.

266.

The whole world is not worth a soul, and a soul is worth nothing without its resolutions. We need not be troubled because we are weak, if by trusting in the power and mercy of God we never lose courage; on the contrary, my daughter, I would rather be weak than strong before God, for He takes the weak in his arms, and the strong He leads by the hand.

267.

Believe me, we advance through stormy weather, and under a dark and cloudy sky. It is a better time for travellers than if the sun poured its ardent heat upon us. Courage! light and joy are not within our power, nor any consolation except that which depends upon the will; but while that will is protected by our holy resolutions, and as long as the great seal of the heavenly chancery remains upon our hearts, we have nothing to fear.

268.

Those who spiritually digest Jesus Christ feel that Jesus Christ who is their food is diffused through every part of soul and body. They have Jesus in their mind, in their heart, in their breast, in their eyes, in their hands, in their tongue, in their ears, in their feet. But what does this Saviour do in all these parts? He redresses, purifies, prunes, and vivifies all; the heart loves through Him, the mind understands through Him, the breast breathes through Him, the eyes see through Him, the tongue speaks through Him. Then we can say, “We live now, not we, but Christ Jesus liveth in us.” I show you to what we must aspire though we must be content to attain it by degrees.

269.

Let us keep ourselves humble and go to Holy Communion boldly; we shall gradually become accustomed to this heavenly food and learn to digest it to our profit.

270.

Charity, so far from searching for evil, fears to meet it; if she encounter it, she turns away and appears not to see it. She will shut her eyes rather than meet it.

271.

Oh! happy is the mind which sees but two objects, God and self, one of which enraptures it with a sovereign delight, and the other abases it to the extremest abjection.

272.

If what we are doing be necessary, even though it distract our attention from God, we need not be troubled. We are taught to do all our actions for God, and by so doing we keep ourselves in his presence. Beware of thinking it necessary to offer each action to our Lord, for that would interfere with the simplicity of the practice of the Presence of God.

273.

Oh! I pray you, do not fall into the fault of considering the imperfections of others, for it will retard your perfection very much and will injure your soul.

274.

My dear daughter, we must flay the victim if we would have it acceptable to God. In the Old Law, God would accept no victim as a holocaust if it had not first been flayed; in like manner our hearts can never be immolated and sacrificed to God until they shall have been flayed, stripped of their old skin, that is, of their habits, inclinations, repugnances, and superfluous affections.

275.

An act of mortification performed with great repugnance is infinitely suited to strongly advance you in perfection.

276.

My daughters, do not deprive yourselves of Holy Communion because of bitterness of heart; but when you feel it you must draw near to God, to strengthen your heart and unite it to his spirit of meekness.

277.

To pray is to raise the mind to God and converse with Him concerning our interests with a reverent familiarity, and a confidence greater than has the most petted child in its mother, and to talk with Him of all things both high and low, of the things of heaven and the things of earth; it is to open one’s heart to Him and pour it out unreservedly to Him; it is to tell Him of our labours, our sins, our desires, and all that is in our soul, and to find our rest with Him as we would with a friend. It is what the Holy Scripture calls “pouring forth one’s heart as water before Him.”

278.

All should serve charity and charity should serve no one, not even her Beloved, of whom she is not the servant, but the spouse, and to whom she owes love, not service.

279.

Be patient with your trials; our Lord, alas! permits them that you may one day know what you are when left to yourself. Do you not see that the trouble of the day is lighter after the rest of the night? an evident sign that our soul needs but to firmly resign itself to its God, and to become indifferent to serving Him amid thorns or roses.

280.

Be a little lamb, a little dove, quite simple, sweet, and amiable, unquestioning and frank. Love this good God who loves you so much.

281.

Be not too tender towards yourself; avoid weeping and complaints; endeavour to be free and detached from yourself, in order to be wholly under the guidance of God’s hand, for where his spirit is there is also liberty.

282.

I see your childish tears and troubles. Know, then, that all our childishness comes from this: that we forget the maxims of the saints, who warn us that we must act as if we were daily to begin anew the labour of our advancement; we shall not be so much astonished to find miseries and faults to correct in ourselves. The work we have undertaken is never finished; we must continually begin over again with a good heart.

283.

There is and can be nothing which I cannot do, inasmuch as I place all my confidence in God, who can do all things, and with this confidence the soul courageously undertakes all that it is commanded, however difficult it may be.

284.

Live joyously, my dearest daughters, in the midst of your holy occupations. When the atmosphere is heavy in the midst of aridity, labour independently of your heart by the practice of a holy abjection and humility.

285.

We shall never possess perfect sweetness and complete charity, if they be not exercised in spite of repugnance, aversion, and disgust. True peace does not consist in not combating but in conquering.

286.

It should be a source of humiliation to us that we are so little master of ourselves, and so fond of our ease. Our Saviour did not come to seek his ease or comfort, either spiritual or temporal, but to deny, to combat Himself, and to die.

287.

Do not allow yourself to yield in any way to sadness, which is the enemy to devotion. What, then, should sadden a soul which serves Him who shall be our joy forever?

288.

Our Lord revealed to Blessed Angela that there is no good so pleasing to Him as that which is done by force; that is, the good which a resolute will effects and offers Him by working against the weight of the flesh, and the repugnances in the inferior part of the soul, and in spite of sadness, aridity, and interior desolation.

289.

What can I say to you on the return of your miseries, save that as the enemy returns we must resume our arms and bring back our courage, in order to fight more valiantly than ever?

290.

Beware of yielding to any kind of distrust, for the heavenly goodness does not permit you to fall in order to abandon you, but to humble you, and teach you to keep a firmer and closer hold of the hand of his mercy.

291.

What happiness to serve God in the desert without manna, without water, with no consolation save that of being under his guidance, and suffering for Him!

292.

When you meet with some contradiction, take your resolutions and place them in the wounds of our Lord, and pray Him to preserve them and you with them; then wait in these blessed retreats until the tempest has past.

293.

The throes and pangs of spiritual birth are painful to nature; our souls must give birth not exteriorly, but interiorly to the sweetest, the most pleasing, the most beautiful child that could be desired. It is the good Jesus whom we must form within ourselves. Courage! we must suffer much that He may be born in us.

294.

You always examine too much to discover whence your sadness comes. We must not be so curious as to wish to know the cause of the diversity of states in this life. And in what way shall we show our love for Him who suffered so much for us, if not by patiently enduring aversions, repugnances, and struggles?

295.

We must cast our heart among the thorns of difficulties, allow it to be transpierced with the lance of contradictions, steeped with gall and vinegar; in a word, feed on absinthe and bitterness, since God wills it.

296.

I desire that you should continue the exercise of getting rid of self by abandoning yourself to our Lord, to the guide of your soul. Say: “I earnestly wish it, Lord; tear, wrest from me without hesitation all that burdens my heart. I except nothing; wrest me from myself! O self! I abandon thee for ever.”

297.

You must abide like a poor miserable creature before the throne of Divine Mercy, and remain there wholly stripped of all action and of all affection to creatures, and make yourself indifferent to all things.

298.

How beautiful it is to renounce esteem of self, to renounce what we are, our own will, all complacency in the creature, and, in short, all of self. We must bury this human self in an eternal abandonment, that we may never more see or know it as we have seen and known it.

299.

The virtues which grow in prosperity are of little value; those which are born in the midst of afflictions are strong and firm. In this life God usually allows his children and faithful servants only the honour of suffering much and carrying their cross after Him.

300.