Part 39

SATURDAY, MAY 10.—It turned out just as the barber predicted: Behind the Azores we encountered rough seas, and the big ship “Canada” has been jumping today like a greyhound. The wind is blowing heavily, and there is an occasional shower of rain. After every shower, there is a rainbow; one of them made a bow over the stern of the ship, and followed us for fifteen minutes. We were late for breakfast this morning, but the steward said we were the first ones in, and no others came while we were there. We have suffered no inconvenience from the rough weather, except that we became tired of bracing ourselves. The sailors dislike rough weather; they do not become seasick, but rough weather at sea is disagreeable, as it is on land, and results in gloomy thoughts and bad tempers. Rough weather rolls you about in your bed at night, and the most experienced sailor cannot sleep as well as he can when the weather is good.... I have frequently mentioned the barber. On every ship, the barber shop is headquarters for news. In the days before newspapers, people went to the barber-shops for the gossip of the day. The “Canada’s” barber is a German, but speaks French and English. He lived in London four years, and told me today that he found, after learning English in London, that Americans could not understand him very well. Which corroborates my statement that the people of the United States and the English do not speak the same language.... The man on the “Canada” who has least to do is the barkeeper. I have not seen a single drink ordered in the dining-room. On the “Burgermeister,” nearly everyone ordered something from the bar at luncheon and dinner, and paid extra for it, but on the “Canada,” two kinds of wine are furnished free. The profit from liquor on the German ship must have been enormous. Two kinds of keg beer, light and dark, were sold, and nearly everybody drank one or the other. The weather was very warm nearly all the time I was on the “Burgermeister,” and the cold beer was particularly agreeable. But on the “Canada,” I have not seen the barkeeper fill a half-dozen orders. The weather is chilly, and we wear our heaviest winter clothing; besides, there is no German beer on draught.... This is the sixth day out, and we have had strawberries every day. It is surprising how fresh and palatable the cook manages to make everything taste. We are paying about seven dollars a day each for our accommodations on this ship, which include two rooms on the best deck, a private bath, three of the best meals I have ever eaten, and bouillon at 11 A. M., and tea at 4 P. M. We would be charged about the same price in the second-class on the big Atlantic liners. The “Canada” is a new ship, working for a reputation; that is the only explanation I know of. Anyone going abroad, by taking this line, sees Palermo, in Sicily, and Naples, in Italy, on the way, landing finally at Marseilles, in France. Some of the other ships of the line stop at Lisbon, in Portugal, and at the Azores, also.... You can pay almost any price for accommodations at sea. It is said John Jacob Astor paid $5,000 for accommodations on the “Titanic,” and the management didn’t do a thing but drown him. He had three or four rooms, two baths, a private dining-room, etc. Speaking of J. J. Astor reminds me that he made financial mistakes, as well as the rest of us. In closing up his estate it was found that he had ten million dollars worth of securities which were practically worthless. But Astor could drive a hard bargain, on occasion. He once found a man who was hard up, and who wanted to sell a yacht which cost half a million dollars. The yacht was new, and the man thought he ought to have $450,000 for it. But Astor finally got it for $90,000.... There is a man on board who is the best newspaper scholar I have ever known. He is familiar with everything that has appeared in the newspapers for the past twenty or thirty years. I have posted myself on the news of the past five months by talking to him. He is very entertaining, and quite modest; he frequently says: “I know nothing about it myself; I only know what I read in the newspapers.” I have never before known a man quite like him.... We have dinner at 6:30 on the “Canada,” but the passengers never come into the dining-room until a quarter of an hour later, when the _table d’hôte_ dinner begins. At the fine Hotel Vesuve, in Naples, the dinner hour was 7:30, but the guests were always a quarter of an hour late.... Our guide in Naples was a rather sullen American, and we learned today that he was formerly a very rich man. His father died seven years ago, and left him a fortune, but he ran through with it, and is now a guide, at $2 a day. He spent most of his money in Monte Carlo, at the gambling-tables. This information I get from the newspaper scholar, quoted above, who is an old traveler. He says he knows the guide well, but refused to give me his name. I have the guide’s card, but the newspaper scholar says it is not his real name.

SUNDAY, MAY 11.—The bad weather continues, and we cannot take our usual walks. We sit in a protected place on the upper deck, wrapped in rugs, and talk about getting home. Adelaide has decided that she does not care to remain in New York long; that she wants to get home as soon as possible; so if we reach that city Thursday night, as expected, Friday afternoon will see us on a railroad train headed westward.... While on the Pacific ocean, I met a life insurance man named Adams, who told me that he traveled constantly, and that his expenses, afloat and ashore, averaged $11 a day. He kept no expense account, he said; at the end of the year he charged the company $11 a day for expenses, and that was almost exactly what he spent. Today I made a calculation, and found that the present trip has cost us $11 a day each, almost to a penny. So if you want to know what traveling costs, here is an estimate you may depend upon. This means rapid traveling, by railroad and steamship, and sightseeing in the towns with the assistance of a guide. The estimate includes the purchases a traveler is compelled to make, and cannot be reduced much unless you travel second-class, and deny yourself many things. At Palermo, we hired a guide, and drove about nearly all day in a new two-horse carriage, with liveried driver. The expense was considerable, but we saw dozens of things that those who did not take a guide and carriage, failed to see.... A stewardess on the “Canada” has enormous feet. She is rather a pretty woman, but her feet are much too big. Americans have smaller feet than any other race.... There is a young man on board who has a tremendous lot of hair, which he never combs. There is something peculiar about him, and today we found out what it is: he is an artist.... There is a woman on board who left New York in February, a bride. She said to me today: “I’m not happy; but I’m as happy as married women usually are, and am content.” I’ve been thinking about the statement, and have almost concluded that she is a smart woman. Isn’t she smarter than the woman who marries, expects to be happy, is disappointed, and becomes sour over her disappointment?... I see that Edward Bok, editor of the _Ladies’ Home Journal_, is offering prizes to husbands who will write the best articles under this title: “Why I Wanted My Wife to Become My Wife.” The prize articles will be written by sentimentalists who will write, not the truth, but what the editor wants. The husbands who know the truth about marriage, rarely tell it.... A man on board is a great reader, and gets a new book out of the library every day. He sits near me on deck, and frequently criticises the authors of the books he reads. Still, it is easier to be a great critic than it is to be a great author.... This man knows many things I never heard of. He says he once knew a boy only seven years old who was an ordained preacher in the Methodist church. I knew better, but I did not argue with him. I’ve quit arguing; I hear foolish statements every day without contradicting them. In the smoking-room today I heard a man say that a cardinal in the Roman Catholic Church need not be a priest, and that a cardinal might marry if he chose. Another man said Mark Twain was once a preacher, and had a regular charge.

MONDAY, MAY 12.—This has been the most disagreeable day of the voyage. The wind blew a hurricane, but shifted so frequently that it kept the sea down, although it was so bad that most of the passengers were ill. The captain, when he came down to breakfast, said to the few present: “I’m sorry.” Meaning the weather; he had promised us a fine voyage. The captain is a very polite man; when he comes into the dining-room, in the morning, he speaks to most of the passengers, and goes about to shake hands with some of them. He is very solicitous of those who are ill, but Captain Trask, of the American ship “Sonoma,” thought it a disgrace to be seasick, and would barely speak to any of his passengers so afflicted. He used to say he was never seasick in his life, and that seasickness was “just a notion.”... Adelaide, the farmer’s daughter, does not mind the terrific motion of the ship, but I have a slight headache, and do not care to eat much.... The barber says conditions down among the emigrants are bad. Most of them are in bed, in rooms containing hundreds. All the married couples occupy one large room, and sleep in their clothes. The unmarried women occupy another large room, and the unmarried men another. There are tables down below, where the emigrants may eat their food, but they eat on deck when the weather will permit. For breakfast they are given a soup thick with vegetables, and coffee; for dinner and supper they have boiled meat, potatoes, macaroni, onions, wine, and bread. They are given so much to eat that we all note the manner in which they waste it.... During the worst of the storm today, a large woman sitting on deck attempted to go below. She foolishly attempted to descend an open stairway, and the wind blew her skirts over her head. This rendered her hysterical, and she began screaming. Seven stewards were required to carry her to her room, from which retreat she sends word on deck that she is so humiliated that we will not see her again.... Owing to the storm, our run was cut down to 368 miles today. The storm seemed very serious to us, but on the log, the officers described it simply as: “Rough sea; north-west gale.”

TUESDAY, MAY 13.—At 10 o’clock this morning we ran into a smooth sea, and the sun struggled out. By 11 A. M. all the emigrants were on deck, chattering as usual.... The chief steward gave us declaration blanks at breakfast; which means we are nearing New York.... We are in communication today with five other steamships, and Cape Race. The cost of a wireless message of ten words to the United States is marked on the bulletin board as $3.80.... Every day of the voyage we have had a different fish for dinner; apparently as fresh as when caught. I shall long remember the King fish as the best of the lot. The butter is also surprisingly fresh, considering the fact that no farmers can come in with a fresh supply. I shall always remember my voyage on the “Canada” as the most endurable I have ever made; and in my time I have been a passenger on two dozen different ships. The passengers are quiet and polite, and there has been no talk of Sports; no games of any kind are played, and it has been an ideal voyage in all respects, except two days of bad weather.... The barber, a German, intends to quit. He says he likes the French crew; that he gets along better with them than he got along with his own countrymen on some boats, but he is not earning as much as he thinks he should. A small passenger list is pleasant for the passengers, but disastrous to the ship’s employees.... We had artichokes for dinner today. I wonder where the idea originated that they are good to eat? They seem to be very popular in Italy; I saw great stacks of them in Naples and Palermo.... One of the women passengers appeared at dinner tonight wearing an automobile bonnet and gauntlet gloves. I do not bother myself much about taste in women’s dress, but that shocked me. Another woman passenger is too ill to appear in the dining-room for her meals, but is able to sit in the smoking-room every evening, and puff cigarettes. I’ll never become accustomed to women smoking.... The young man who paints pictures in oil, and who has a shock of hair which he never combs, is extremely good-natured. Which means that he can’t paint much. A genius is always cross and impolite.... The emigrants are not allowed to buy beer, so those in the second-cabin buy it, and hand it over to the emigrants. I cannot see much difference between the passengers in the second-cabin and the emigrants. Many of the second-cabin passengers have friends among the emigrants, and visit them a good deal. Two of the second-cabin passengers are young French girls, accompanied by their mother. We hear they are going to the United States to get rich husbands. The opinion prevails abroad that America is full of rich men who will take nearly anything in the way of a wife. It is a mistake. America has more attractive girls than any other country, and half of them are compelled to get jobs.... The Americans in the first-cabin live mainly in New York and Boston; we are the only Westerners.... One of the passengers in the first-cabin is a woman with two children. She has perfect manners, and is no doubt a good woman, but I have somehow got the notion that her husband doesn’t appreciate her at her true value. The other women say she is All Soul, but probably her husband thinks that is the trouble with her; I never knew a spiritual woman to please any man except her pastor. I am satisfied that within a few hours after her arrival home, she will say to her husband: “I would like to have a private talk with you.”

WEDNESDAY, MAY 14.—The man who intends to quit traveling because he meets so many disagreeable Englishmen, said to me today: “An Englishman is as crazy to know everything that is going on as a young Jew traveling-man. And what annoys me is that the Americans submit tamely to criticism from the English. Every day you see English criticism of Americans in books and newspapers, but the Americans never strike back. It isn’t true that Americans attract attention abroad because of their rudeness; nine-tenths of the charges made against American travelers are invented by the English. Ask any American who has traveled, and you will find he dislikes the English. The English do not like Americans, and Americans might as well throw off their reserve, and admit that they do not like the English.”... The captain said this afternoon that the “Princess Irene,” the favorite, is only twelve miles ahead of us, and that we shall probably pass it tomorrow night.... About sunset, there was great cheering on the steerage deck. Some one had reported land in sight, but the report proved untrue.... There is a very fat Italian woman in the first-cabin, and she has a very fat daughter. Her husband is a passenger in the second-cabin.

THURSDAY, MAY 15.—At the Captain’s Dinner this evening, free champagne was served, in addition to the two kinds of wine we have had free twice a day since leaving Naples. The captain, whose name is Bouleuc, made a speech in broken English. Sometime tonight we shall reach New York, and cast anchor until daylight, when the doctor, customs officers and immigration officers will come on board to see if they can find anything suspicious.... People are as proud of ability to speak French as they are proud of art or musical culture. I know an American woman on board who has been reading French books all the way from Naples; yet she confessed to me that she knows very little French. She simply wanted the reputation (which she did not deserve) of being a French scholar. An American man whom I know very well, sharply criticises the French of a woman who sits at the captain’s table, and who talks constantly and volubly in French with the captain. Yet the man confessed to me that he knows only enough French to “get along.”... We thought of remaining up until we could see the lights of New York, but abandoned the idea at 9:30, and went to bed.

FRIDAY, MAY 16.—When I awoke this morning, the “Canada” was lying off Sandy Hook, in company with eight other ships that had arrived during the night, and were waiting for the port officers. Among the ships was the “Princess Irene,” the Favorite. It had a start of twenty-four hours, as it did not stop at Palermo, but we arrived as soon as it did.... We landed at 10 A. M., and greatly admired every man, woman, child and building we saw. The first thing we did was to make a dash for the Pennsylvania Station, where we arranged to leave for Home at 5 P. M.... What a wonderful building the Pennsylvania Station is! Nothing else like it in the world; except a few blocks away, where may be found the New York Central Station, which is still finer.... I showed Adelaide as much of New York as I could from 10 A. M. to 5 P. M. In Johannesburg, we paid fifteen cents street-car fare each to the zoölogical gardens. In New York, we went three or four times the distance for five cents, on the way passing under a great river. This is some of the Robbery to which we Americans are compelled to submit.... When we wanted a lunch, we went into a beautiful place, and paid sixty-five cents for all two healthy Americans cared to eat. This in wicked, extravagant New York.... Some of the buildings we saw were thirty-eight stories high, and the streets through which we passed cannot be duplicated anywhere.... We wanted a guide to show us about quickly. We secured a bright young man from the Postal Telegraph Co. He was polite, intelligent and capable. What do you suppose this Robber Corporation charged us for his services? Thirty cents an hour.... Soon after we left the Pennsylvania Station, our train passed under the Hudson river, and emerged in New Jersey. This state is not a fair sample of the country in which we live, but how we enjoyed seeing it! The green at Home is a healthier and better-looking green than the green in the tropics.

SATURDAY, MAY 17.—We have spent this day passing through Ohio and Indiana. They are better states than New Jersey, and our enthusiasm is increasing. We are passengers on an all-steel train, and in no other country in the world are equally good railroad accommodations to be had.... Early in the afternoon, nearly a thousand miles from the sea, we came to the fourth or fifth city of the world: Chicago. An American we saw last in New Zealand, Dr. Beeson, met us at this place. Our social relations are rapidly improving.

SUNDAY, MAY 18.—This morning, when the conductor came in to take my tickets, he said:

“Why, hello!”

I knew him: we were getting almost in sight of Home. When we went into the dining-car, the negro waiter spoke to us by name.... Shortly afterwards, the conductor sat down beside us, and, looking out of the south window, said:

“I never knew before you could see Potato Hill so plainly from this side of the river.”

Then the Pullman conductor came in, and said:

“The next station is Atchison.”

Transcriber’s Notes.

1. Silently corrected simple spelling, grammar, and typographical errors.

2. Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.