CHAPTER XIII.
A MELANCHOLY CHRISTMAS
Never had Vienna experienced a more melancholy Christmas. The enormous cost of living was supplemented by an absolute standstill of all activity. High prices alone would not have bothered the worthy Phæaceans. They had been accustomed to them for a decade; as a matter of fact it did not make much difference whether a half-pint of wine cost five or ten thousand kronen, if people earned enough, if the laborer received high wages, and the merchant had his safe full of money every evening. But this was the case no longer. The bulk of the currency lay dormant in the stockings of the peasants; in the cities no one wanted to buy; a large part of the working class was idle and dependent on government support; and the Christmas numbers of the papers published statistics which revealed that in two years about five thousand branch banks, cafés, restaurants, and shops had closed down in Vienna alone. Lately one big failure after the other had been occurring in industry. Corporations that to the last minute had been thought bomb-proof were now declaring themselves insolvent, and rumor predicted the collapse of two great banks.
Matters having reached such a state, what did it avail the Viennese that there was plenty of room everywhere, that the theatres were not sold out even on the Christmas holidays, and that one no longer had to meet those provoking Jewish noses? What did it avail them that they had returned to Christian simplicity and the full beard, when the barbers’ assistants had to be discharged by the dozen because there was no more work for them?
The condition of the jewelers was the worst of all. Most of them had been Jews and had therefore been forced to leave; and now their business was being conducted by former petty watch-repairers and other doubtless very estimable individuals who, however, had no connections whatever with the Dutch precious stone market, (which is almost exclusively in Jewish hands,) and who therefore were thoroughly taken in at every purchase. Finally buying abroad stopped altogether, for the demand for jewelry disappeared entirely, while the number of those who were forced to sell increased constantly. Slowly but surely most of the jewelry belonging to Austrians travelled to neighboring countries, to England, France, and America; but even there the jewelers who were the agents for this export trade had to suffer. If a dealer bought a rope of pearls today from a private owner for ten billion kronen, and soon after deposited it on the neck of an American woman in exchange for thirty billion, he imagined that he had put through a splendid deal, celebrated the joyous occasion with wine, sang the praises of Dr. Schwertfeger, and bought a fat goose, (which no longer was the special privilege of the Jews). But before he had digested the rich goose-liver his thirty billions were not worth as much as the ten he had spent, and he had no more money for further purchases.
So it was not at all surprising that the Yuletide brought a wave of embitterment and discontent to Vienna, and that the customary noise and merriment of the New Year’s Eve celebration was stifled under a blanket of ill temper and discouragement.
If the Chancellor had heard the conversation that occurred during Christmas week between Herr Habietnik, owner of the huge department store in the Kärtnerstrasse, and Herr Mauler, proprietor of the large jewelry establishment on the Graben, his wrath would have waxed even greater.
Sitting in the Grabencafé, Herr Habietnik and Herr Mauler were grumbling about the miserable Christmas business, which would surely seal the ruin of thousands of business men. Suddenly Herr Habietnik leaned over toward Herr Mauler and told him of a dream he had had the night before.
“Just think, Herr Mauler, I dreamt that all of a sudden only Jews and Jewesses start to come to my store. Every last one of ’em’s dressed in the latest style, and carries piles of bank-notes, and there’s a big rush. The girls can’t bring the furs and cloth and cloaks and suits fast enough for ’em, and all the ready-made clothing department’s filled with silks and velvets and laces and embroideries. But nothing’s good enough for ’em, and one Jewish lady, dressed in very good and stylish clothes, keeps on crying: ‘That’s nothing! We’re coming from Paris and Palestine, where everything’s in the latest style. Show me the best you’ve got!’ Then, without any warning, my head salesgirl brings out a pair of cotton bloomers and says: ‘But my dear Jewish lady, this is the newest thing from Paris!’ Then everybody laughs so terrible much that I wake up. Don’t you think, Herr Mauler, that this dream means something?”
Herr Mauler grinned as he answered:
“Yes--it means that pretty soon all the world’ll be laughing at us, and we’ll be wrapping ourselves in flannel and cotton before we’re buried for good. But one thing’s sure, Herr Habietnik. If an automobile was to stop in front of my shop with a Jewish couple in it, I’d kiss ’em both, and I’d be happy again! You know, Herr Habietnik, in the old days, when I was still a clerk with Herr Zwirner, what used to have my store, I often thought it really was a shame that almost no one but the Jews had the money for diamonds and pearls. And once I even said so out loud. Then Herr Zwirner laughed in my face and said: ‘Don’t be a fool, Mauler, but be glad the Jews buy and put money in circulation. Or would you like it better if they was to hide and bury their money like the peasants? You’ll see, if the anti-Semitism business keeps on the rich Jews’ll leave the country--and then all the stores’ll have to close down!’
“Well--and now both the rich and poor Jews have left Austria, and we’re all finished good and proper!”