C.
[Footnote 1: that]
[Footnote 2: Wit, in the town sense, is talked of to satiety in Shadwell's plays; and window-breaking by the street rioters called 'Scowrers,' who are the heroes of an entire play of his, named after them, is represented to the life by a street scene in the third act of his 'Woman Captain.']
[Footnote 3: are several Impostors]
[Footnote 4: take upon them]
[Footnote 5: Counterfeits]
[Footnote 6: any of these Pretenders]
[Footnote 7: that is about him]
* * * * *
No. 36. Wednesday, April 11, 1711. Steele.
'... Immania monstra Perferimus ...'
Virg.
I shall not put my self to any further Pains for this Day's Entertainment, than barely to publish the Letters and Titles of Petitions from the Play-house, with the Minutes I have made upon the Latter for my Conduct in relation to them.
Drury-Lane, April [1] the 9th.
'Upon reading the Project which is set forth in one of your late Papers, [2] of making an Alliance between all the Bulls, Bears, Elephants, and Lions, which are separately exposed to publick View in the Cities of _London_ and _Westminster_; together with the other Wonders, Shows, and Monsters, whereof you made respective Mention in the said Speculation; We, the chief Actors of this Playhouse, met and sat upon the said Design. It is with great Delight that We expect the Execution of this Work; and in order to contribute to it, We have given Warning to all our Ghosts to get their Livelihoods where they can, and not to appear among us after Day-break of the 16th Instant. We are resolved to take this Opportunity to part with every thing which does not contribute to the Representation of humane Life; and shall make a free Gift of all animated Utensils to your Projector. The Hangings you formerly mentioned are run away; as are likewise a Set of Chairs, each of which was met upon two Legs going through the _Rose_ Tavern at Two this Morning. We hope, Sir, you will give proper Notice to the Town that we are endeavouring at these Regulations; and that we intend for the future to show no Monsters, but Men who are converted into such by their own Industry and Affectation. If you will please to be at the House to-night, you will see me do my Endeavour to show some unnatural Appearances which are in vogue among the Polite and Well-bred. I am to represent, in the Character of a fine Lady Dancing, all the Distortions which are frequently taken for Graces in Mien and Gesture. This, Sir, is a Specimen of the Method we shall take to expose the Monsters which come within the Notice of a regular Theatre; and we desire nothing more gross may be admitted by you Spectators for the future. We have cashiered three Companies of Theatrical Guards, and design our Kings shall for the future make Love and sit in Council without an Army: and wait only your Direction, whether you will have them reinforce King _Porus_ or join the Troops of _Macedon_. Mr. _Penkethman_ resolves to consult his _Pantheon_ of Heathen Gods in Opposition to the Oracle of _Delphos_, and doubts not but he shall turn the Fortunes of _Porus_ when he personates him. I am desired by the Company to inform you, that they submit to your Censures; and shall have you in greater Veneration than _Hercules_ was in of old, if you can drive Monsters from the Theatre; and think your Merit will be as much greater than his, as to convince is more than to conquer.
I am, Sir, Your most obedient Servant, T.D.
SIR, When I acquaint you with the great and unexpected Vicissitudes of my Fortune, I doubt not but I shall obtain your Pity and Favour. I have for many Years last past been Thunderer to the Play-house; and have not only made as much Noise out of the Clouds as any Predecessor of mine in the Theatre that ever bore that Character, but also have descended and spoke on the Stage as the bold Thunder in _The Rehearsal_ [1]
When they got me down thus low, they thought fit to degrade me further, and make me a Ghost. I was contented with this for these two last Winters; but they carry their Tyranny still further, and not satisfied that I am banished from above Ground, they have given me to understand that I am wholly to depart their Dominions, and taken from me even my subterraneous Employment. Now, Sir, what I desire of you is, that if your Undertaker thinks fit to use Fire-Arms (as other Authors have done) in the Time of _Alexander_, I may be a Cannon against _Porus_, or else provide for me in the Burning of _Persepolis_, or what other Method you shall think fit.
Salmoneus of Covent-Garden.'
The Petition of all the Devils of the Play-house in behalf of themselves and Families, setting forth their Expulsion from thence, with Certificates of their good Life and Conversation, and praying Relief.
_The Merit of this Petition referred to Mr._ Chr. Rich, _who made them Devils._
The Petition of the Grave-digger in 'Hamlet', to command the Pioneers in the Expedition of _Alexander_.
_Granted._
The Petition of _William Bullock_, to be _Hephestion_ to _Penkethman the Great_. [4]
_Granted._
* * * * *
The caricature here, and in following lines, is of a passage in Sir Robert Stapylton's 'Slighted Maid': 'I am the Evening, dark as Night,' &c.
In the 'Spectator's' time the Rehearsal was an acted play, in which Penkethman had the part of the gentleman Usher, and Bullock was one of the two Kings of Brentford; Thunder was Johnson, who played also the Grave-digger in Hamlet and other reputable parts.
* * * * *
[Footnote 1: 'March' was written by an oversight left in the first reprint uncorrected.]
[Footnote 2: No. 31.]
[Footnote 3: Mr. Bayes, the poet, in the Duke of Buckingham's 'Rehearsal', after showing how he has planned a Thunder and Lightning Prologue for his play, says,
Come out, Thunder and Lightning.
[Enter Thunder and Lightning.]
'Thun'. I am the bold 'Thunder'.
'Bayes'. Mr. Cartwright, prithee speak that a little louder, and with a hoarse voice. I am the bold Thunder: pshaw! Speak it me in a voice that thunders it out indeed: I am the bold 'Thunder'.
'Thun'. I am the bold 'Thunder'.
'Light'. The brisk Lightning, I.']
[Footnote 4: William Bullock was a good and popular comedian, whom some preferred to Penkethman, because he spoke no more than was set down for him, and did not overact his parts. He was now with Penkethman, now with Cibber and others, joint-manager of a theatrical booth at Bartholomew Fair. When this essay was written Bullock and Penkethman were acting together in a play called 'Injured Love', produced at Drury Lane on the 7th of April, Bullock as 'Sir Bookish Outside,' Penkethman as 'Tipple,' a Servant. Penkethman, Bullock and Dogget were in those days Macbeth's three witches. Bullock had a son on the stage capable of courtly parts, who really had played Hephestion in 'the Rival Queens', in a theatre opened by Penkethman at Greenwich in the preceding summer.]
* * * * *
ADVERTISEMENT.
_A Widow Gentlewoman, wellborn both by Father and Mother's Side, being the Daughter of_ Thomas Prater, _once an eminent Practitioner in the Law, and of_ Letitia Tattle, _a Family well known in all Parts of this Kingdom, having been reduc'd by Misfortunes to wait on several great Persons, and for some time to be Teacher at a Boarding-School of young Ladies; giveth Notice to the Publick, That she hath lately taken a House near_ Bloomsbury- Square, _commodiously situated next the Fields in a good Air; where she teaches all sorts of Birds of the loquacious Kinds, as Parrots, Starlings, Magpies, and others, to imitate human Voices in greater Perfection than ever yet was practis'd. They are not only instructed to pronounce Words distinctly, and in a proper Tone and Accent, but to speak the Language with great Purity and Volubility of Tongue, together with all the fashionable Phrases and Compliments now in use either at Tea-Tables or visiting Days. Those that have good Voices may be taught to sing the newest Opera-Airs, and, if requir'd, to speak either_ Italian _or_ French, _paying something extraordinary above the common Rates. They whose Friends are not able to pay the full Prices may be taken as Half-boarders. She teaches such as are design'd for the Diversion of the Publick, and to act in enchanted Woods on the Theatres, by the Great. As she has often observ'd with much Concern how indecent an Education is usually given these innocent Creatures, which in some Measure is owing to their being plac'd in Rooms next the Street, where, to the great Offence of chaste and tender Ears, they learn Ribaldry, obscene Songs, and immodest Expressions from Passengers and idle People, and also to cry Fish and Card-matches, with other useless Parts of Learning to Birds who have rich Friends, she has fitted up proper and neat Apartments for them in the back Part of her said House; where she suffers none to approach them but her self, and a Servant Maid who is deaf and dumb, and whom she provided on purpose to prepare their Food and cleanse their Cages; having found by long Experience how hard a thing it is for those to keep Silence who have the Use of Speech, and the Dangers her Scholars are expos'd to by the strong Impressions that are made by harsh Sounds and vulgar Dialects. In short, if they are Birds of any Parts or Capacity, she will undertake to render them so accomplish'd in the Compass of a Twelve-month, that they shall be fit Conversation for such Ladies as love to chuse their Friends and Companions out of this Species_.
R.
* * * * *
No. 37. Thursday, April 12, 1711. Addison.
... Non illa colo calathisve Minervæ Foemineas assueta manus ...
Virg.
Some Months ago, my Friend Sir Roger, being in the Country, enclosed a Letter to me, directed to a certain Lady whom I shall here call by the Name of _Leonora_, and as it contained Matters of Consequence, desired me to deliver it to her with my own Hand. Accordingly I waited upon her Ladyship pretty early in the Morning, and was desired by her Woman to walk into her Lady's Library, till such time as she was in a Readiness to receive me. The very Sound of a _Lady's Library_ gave me a great Curiosity to see it; and as it was some time before the Lady came to me, I had an Opportunity of turning over a great many of her Books, which were ranged together in a very beautiful Order. At the End of the _Folios_ (which were finely bound and gilt) were great Jars of _China_ placed one above another in a very noble Piece of Architecture. The _Quartos_ were separated from the _Octavos_ by a Pile of smaller Vessels, which rose in a [delightful[1]] Pyramid. The _Octavos_ were bounded by Tea Dishes of all Shapes Colours and Sizes, which were so disposed on a wooden Frame, that they looked like one continued Pillar indented with the finest Strokes of Sculpture, and stained with the greatest Variety of Dyes. That Part of the Library which was designed for the Reception of Plays and Pamphlets, and other loose Papers, was enclosed in a kind of Square, consisting of one of the prettiest Grotesque Works that ever I saw, and made up of Scaramouches, Lions, Monkies, Mandarines, Trees, Shells, and a thousand other odd Figures in _China_ Ware. In the midst of the Room was a little Japan Table, with a Quire of gilt Paper upon it, and on the Paper a Silver Snuff-box made in the Shape of a little Book. I found there were several other Counterfeit Books upon the upper Shelves, which were carved in Wood, and served only to fill up the Number, like Fagots in the muster of a Regiment. I was wonderfully pleased with such a mixt kind of Furniture, as seemed very suitable both to the Lady and the Scholar, and did not know at first whether I should fancy my self in a Grotto, or in a Library.
Upon my looking into the Books, I found there were some few which the Lady had bought for her own use, but that most of them had been got together, either because she had heard them praised, or because she had seen the Authors of them. Among several that I examin'd, I very well remember these that follow. [2]
_Ogleby's Virgil_. _Dryden's Juvenal_. _Cassandra_. _Cleopatra_. _Astraea_. _Sir Isaac Newton's_ Works. The _Grand Cyrus:_ With a Pin stuck in one of the middle Leaves. _Pembroke's Arcadia_. _Locke_ of Human Understanding: With a Paper of Patches in it. A Spelling-Book. A Dictionary for the Explanation of hard Words. _Sherlock_ upon Death. The fifteen Comforts of Matrimony. Sir _William Temptle's_ Essays. Father _Malbranche's_ Search after Truth, translated into _English_. A Book of Novels. The Academy of Compliments. _Culpepper's_ Midwifry. The Ladies Calling. Tales in Verse by Mr. _Durfey_: Bound in Red Leather, gilt on the Back, and doubled down in several Places. All the Classick Authors in Wood. A set of _Elzevers_ by the same Hand. _Clelia_: Which opened of it self in the Place that describes two Lovers in a Bower. _Baker's_ Chronicle. Advice to a Daughter. The New _Atalantis_, with a Key to it. Mr. _Steel's_ Christian Heroe. A Prayer Book: With a Bottle of _Hungary_ Water by the side of it. Dr. _Sacheverell's_ Speech. _Fielding's_ Tryal. _Seneca's_ Morals. _Taylor's_ holy Living and Dying. _La ferte's_ Instructions for Country Dances.
I was taking a Catalogue in my Pocket-Book of these, and several other Authors, when _Leonora_ entred, and upon my presenting her with the Letter from the Knight, told me, with an unspeakable Grace, that she hoped Sir ROGER was in good Health: I answered _Yes_, for I hate long Speeches, and after a Bow or two retired.
_Leonora_ was formerly a celebrated Beauty, and is still a very lovely Woman. She has been a Widow for two or three Years, and being unfortunate in her first Marriage, has taken a Resolution never to venture upon a second. She has no Children to take care of, and leaves the Management of her Estate to my good Friend Sir ROGER. But as the Mind naturally sinks into a kind of Lethargy, and falls asleep, that is not agitated by some Favourite Pleasures and Pursuits, _Leonora_ has turned all the Passions of her Sex into a Love of Books and Retirement. She converses chiefly with Men (as she has often said herself), but it is only in their Writings; and admits of very few Male-Visitants, except my Friend Sir ROGER, whom she hears with great Pleasure, and without Scandal. As her Reading has lain very much among Romances, it has given her a very particular Turn of Thinking, and discovers it self even in her House, her Gardens, and her Furniture. Sir ROGER has entertained me an Hour together with a Description of her Country-Seat, which is situated in a kind of Wilderness, about an hundred Miles distant from _London_, and looks like a little Enchanted Palace. The Rocks about her are shaped into Artificial Grottoes covered with Wood-Bines and Jessamines. The Woods are cut into shady Walks, twisted into Bowers, and filled with Cages of Turtles. The Springs are made to run among Pebbles, and by that means taught to Murmur very agreeably. They are likewise collected into a Beatiful Lake that is Inhabited by a Couple of Swans, and empties it self by a litte Rivulet which runs through a Green Meadow, and is known in the Family by the Name of _The Purling Stream_. The Knight likewise tells me, that this Lady preserves her Game better than any of the Gentlemen in the Country, not (says Sir ROGER) that she sets so great a Value upon her Partridges and Pheasants, as upon her Larks and Nightingales. For she says that every Bird which is killed in her Ground, will spoil a Consort, and that she shall certainly miss him the next Year.
When I think how odly this Lady is improved by Learning, I look upon her with a Mixture of Admiration and Pity. Amidst these Innocent Entertainments which she has formed to her self, how much more Valuable does she appear than those of her Sex, [who [3]] employ themselves in Diversions that are less Reasonable, tho' more in Fashion? What Improvements would a Woman have made, who is so Susceptible of Impressions from what she reads, had she been guided to such Books as have a Tendency to enlighten the Understanding and rectify the Passions, as well as to those which are of little more use than to divert the Imagination?
But the manner of a Lady's Employing her self usefully in Reading shall be the Subject of another Paper, in which I design to recommend such
## particular Books as may be proper for the Improvement of the Sex. And as
this is a Subject of a very nice Nature, I shall desire my Correspondents to give me their Thoughts upon it.