Part 2
CLE. Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it; and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice.
HAR. A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (_To_ CLÉANTE) Do you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who lives not far from here?
CLE. Yes, father.
HAR. And you?
ELI. I have heard her spoken of.
HAR. Well, my son, and how do you like the girl?
CLE. She is very charming.
HAR. Her face?
CLE. Modest and intelligent.
HAR. Her air and manner?
CLE. Perfect, undoubtedly.
HAR. Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of?
CLE. Yes, father.
HAR. She would form a very desirable match?
CLE. Very desirable.
HAR. That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and careful wife.
CLE. Certainly.
HAR. And that a husband might live very happily with her?
CLE. I have not the least doubt about it.
HAR. There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the fortune we might reasonably expect.
CLE. Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure of marrying a virtuous woman.
HAR. I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do not find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in something else.
CLE. That follows as a matter of course.
HAR. Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I find she has some dowry.
CLE. Eh!
HAR. What now?
CLE. You are resolved, you say...?
HAR. To marry Marianne.
CLE. Who? you? you?
HAR. Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean?
CLE. I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little while.
HAR. It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again.
## SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, ÉLISE.
HAR. There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina than a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter. As to your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom I heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme.
ELI. To Mr. Anselme?
HAR. Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of whose riches everybody speaks.
ELI. (_curtseying_). I have no wish to marry, father, if you please.
HAR. (_imitating_ ÉLISE). And I, my little girl, my darling, I wish you to marry, if you please.
ELI. (_curtseying again_). I beg your pardon, my father.
HAR. (_again imitating_ ÉLISE). I beg your pardon, my daughter.
ELI. I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (_curtseying again_), with your leave, I shall not marry him.
HAR. I am your very humble servant, but (_again imitating_ ÉLISE) you will marry him this very evening.
ELI. This evening?
HAR. This evening.
ELI. (_curtseying again_). It cannot be done, father.
HAR. (_imitating_ ÉLISE). It will be done, daughter.
ELI. No.
HAR. Yes.
ELI. No, I tell you.
HAR. Yes, I tell you.
ELI. You will never force me to do such a thing
HAR. I will force you to it.
ELI. I had rather kill myself than marry such a man.
HAR. You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you ever see such impudence? Did ever any one hear a daughter speak in such a fashion to her father?
ELI. But did ever anyone see a father marry his daughter after such a fashion?
HAR. It is a match against which nothing can be said, and I am perfectly sure that everybody will approve of my choice.
ELI. And I know that it will be approved of by no reasonable person.
HAR. (_seeing_ VALÈRE). There is Valère coming. Shall we make him judge in this affair?
ELI. Willingly.
HAR. You will abide by what he says?
ELI. Yes, whatever he thinks right, I will do.
HAR. Agreed.
## SCENE VII.--VALÈRE, HARPAGON, ÉLISE.
HAR. Valère, we have chosen you to decide who is in the right, my daughter or I.
VAL. It is certainly you, Sir.
HAR. But have you any idea of what we are talking about?
VAL. No; but you could not be in the wrong; you are reason itself.
HAR. I want to give her to-night, for a husband, a man as rich as he is good; and the hussy tells me to my face that she scorns to take him. What do you say to that?
VAL. What I say to it?
HAR. Yes?
VAL. Eh! eh!
HAR. What?
VAL. I say that I am, upon the whole, of your opinion, and that you cannot but be right; yet, perhaps, she is not altogether wrong; and ...
HAR. How so? Mr. Anselme is an excellent match; he is a nobleman, and a gentleman too; of simple habits, and extremely well off. He has no children left from his first marriage. Could she meet with anything more suitable?
VAL. It is true. But she might say that you are going rather fast, and that she ought to have at least a little time to consider whether her inclination could reconcile itself to ...
HAR. It is an opportunity I must not allow to slip through my fingers. I find an advantage here which I should not find elsewhere, and he agrees to take her without dowry.
VAL. Without dowry?
HAR. Yes.
VAL. Ah! I have nothing more to say. A more convincing reason could not be found; and she must yield to that.
HAR. It is a considerable saving to me.
VAL. Undoubtedly; this admits of no contradiction. It is true that your daughter might represent to you that marriage is a more serious affair than people are apt to believe; that the happiness or misery of a whole life depends on it, and that an engagement which is to last till death ought not to be entered into without great consideration.
HAR. Without dowry!
VAL. That must of course decide everything. There are certainly people who might tell you that on such occasions the wishes of a daughter are no doubt to be considered, and that this great disparity of age, of disposition, and of feelings might be the cause of many an unpleasant thing in a married life.
HAR. Without dowry!
VAL. Ah! it must be granted that there is no reply to that; who in the world could think otherwise? I do not mean to say but that there are many fathers who would set a much higher value on the happiness of their daughter than on the money they may have to give for their marriage; who would not like to sacrifice them to their own interests, and who would, above all things, try to see in a marriage that sweet conformity of tastes which is a sure pledge of honour, tranquillity and joy; and that ...
HAR. Without dowry!
VAL. That is true; nothing more can be said. Without dowry. How can anyone resist such arguments?
HAR. (_aside, looking towards the garden_). Ah! I fancy I hear a dog barking. Is anyone after my money. (_To_ VALÈRE) Stop here, I'll come back directly.
## SCENE VIII.--ÉLISE, VALÈRE.
ELI. Surely, Valère, you are not in earnest when you speak to him in that manner?
VAL. I do it that I may not vex him, and the better to secure my ends. To resist him boldly would simply spoil everything. There are certain people who are only to be managed by indirect means, temperaments averse from all resistance, restive natures whom truth causes to rear, who always kick when we would lead them on the right road of reason, and who can only be led by a way opposed to that by which you wish them to go. Pretend to comply with his wishes; you are much more likely to succeed in the end, and ...
ELI. But this marriage, Valère?
VAL. We will find some pretext for breaking it off.
ELI. But what pretext can we find if it is to be concluded to-night?
VAL. You must ask to have it delayed, and must feign some illness or other.
ELI. But he will soon discover the truth if they call in the doctor.
VAL. Not a bit of it. Do you imagine that a doctor understands what he is about? Nonsense! Don't be afraid. Believe me, you may complain of any disease you please, the doctor will be at no loss to explain to you from what it proceeds.
## SCENE IX--HARPAGON, ÉLISE, VALÈRE.
HAR. (_alone, at the farther end of the stage_). It is nothing, thank heaven!
VAL. (_not seeing_ HARPAGON). In short, flight is the last resource we have left us to avoid all this; and if your love, dear Élise, is as strong as ... (_Seeing_ HARPAGON) Yes, a daughter is bound to obey her father. She has no right to inquire what a husband offered to her is like, and when the most important question, "without dowry," presents itself, she should accept anybody that is given her.
HAR. Good; that was beautifully said!
VAL. I beg your pardon, Sir, if I carry it a little too far, and take upon myself to speak to her as I do.
HAR. Why, I am delighted, and I wish you to have her entirely under your control. (_To_ ÉLISE) Yes, you may run away as much as you like. I give him all the authority over you that heaven has given me, and I will have you do all that he tells you.
VAL. After that, resist all my expostulations, if you can.
## SCENE X.--HARPAGON, VALÈRE.
VAL. I will follow her, Sir, if you will allow me, and will continue the lecture I was giving her.
HAR. Yes, do so; you will oblige me greatly.
VAL. She ought to be kept in with a tight hand.
HAR. Quite true, you must....
VAL. Do not be afraid; I believe I shall end by convincing her.
HAR. Do so, do so. I am going to take a short stroll in the town, and I will come back again presently.
VAL. (_going towards the door through which_ ÉLISE _left, and speaking as if it were to her_). Yes, money is more precious than anything else in the world, and you should thank heaven that you have so worthy a man for a father. He knows what life is. When a man offers to marry a girl without a dowry, we ought to look no farther. Everything is comprised in that, and "without dowry" compensates for want of beauty, youth, birth, honour, wisdom, and probity.
HAR. Ah! the honest fellow! he speaks like an oracle. Happy is he who can secure such a servant!
## ACT II.
## SCENE I.--CLÉANTE, LA FLÈCHE.
CLE. How now, you rascal! where have you been hiding? Did I not give you orders to...?
LA FL. Yes, Sir, and I came here resolved to wait for you without stirring, but your father, that most ungracious of men, drove me into the street in spite of myself, and I well nigh got a good drubbing into the bargain.
CLE. How is our affair progressing? Things are worse than ever for us, and since I left you, I have discovered that my own father is my rival.
LA FL. Your father in love?
CLE. It seems so; and I found it very difficult to hide from him what I felt at such a discovery.
LA FL. He meddling with love! What the deuce is he thinking of? Does he mean to set everybody at defiance? And is love made for people of his build?
CLE. It is to punish me for my sins that this passion has entered his head.
LA FL. But why do you hide your love from him?
CLE. That he may not suspect anything, and to make it more easy for me to fall back, if need be, upon some device to prevent this marriage. What answer did you receive?
LA FL. Indeed, Sir, those who borrow are much to be pitied, and we must put up with strange things when, like you, we are forced to pass through the hands of the usurers.
CLE. Then the affair won't come off?
LA FL. Excuse me; Mr. Simon, the broker who was recommended to us, is a very active and zealous fellow, and says he has left no stone unturned to help you. He assures me that your looks alone have won his heart.
CLE. Shall I have the fifteen thousand francs which I want?
LA FL. Yes, but under certain trifling conditions, which you must accept if you wish the bargain to be concluded.
CLE. Did you speak to the man who is to lend the money?
LA FL. Oh! dear no. Things are not done in that way. He is still more anxious than you to remain unknown. These things are greater mysteries than you think. His name is not by any means to be divulged, and he is to be introduced to you to-day at a house provided by him, so that he may hear from yourself all about your position and your family; and I have not the least doubt that the mere name of your father will be sufficient to accomplish what you wish.
CLE. Particularly as my mother is dead, and they cannot deprive me of what I inherit from her.
LA FL. Well, here are some of the conditions which he has himself dictated to our go-between for you to take cognisance of, before anything is begun.
"Supposing that the lender is satisfied with all his securities, and that the borrower is of age and of a family whose property is ample, solid, secure, and free from all incumbrances, there shall be drawn up a good and correct bond before as honest a notary as it is possible to find, and who for this purpose shall be chosen by the lender, because he is the more concerned of the two that the bond should be rightly executed."
CLE. There is nothing to say against that.
LA FL. "The lender, not to burden his conscience with the least scruple, does not wish to lend his money at more than five and a half per cent."
CLE. Five and a half per cent? By Jove, that's honest! We have nothing to complain of.
LA FL. That's true.
"But as the said lender has not in hand the sum required, and as, in order to oblige the borrower, he is himself obliged to borrow from another at the rate of twenty per cent., it is but right that the said first borrower shall pay this interest, without detriment to the rest; since it is only to oblige him that the said lender is himself forced to borrow."
CLE. The deuce! What a Jew! what a Turk we have here! That is more than twenty-five per cent.
LA FL. That's true; and it is the remark I made. It is for you to consider the matter before you act.
CLE. How can I consider? I want the money, and I must therefore accept everything.
LA FL. That is exactly what I answered.
CLE. Is there anything else?
LA FL. Only a small item.
"Of the fifteen thousand francs which are demanded, the lender will only be able to count down twelve thousand in hard cash; instead of the remaining three thousand, the borrower will have to take the chattels, clothing, and jewels, contained in the following catalogue, and which the said lender has put in all good faith at the lowest possible figure."
CLE. What is the meaning of all that?
LA FL. I'll go through the catalogue:--
"Firstly:--A fourpost bedstead, with hangings of Hungary lace very elegantly trimmed with olive-coloured cloth, and six chairs and a counterpane to match; the whole in very good condition, and lined with soft red and blue shot-silk. Item:--the tester of good pale pink Aumale serge, with the small and the large fringes of silk."
CLE. What does he want me to do with all this?
LA FL. Wait.
"Item:--Tapestry hangings representing the loves of Gombaud and Macée.[1] Item:--A large walnut table with twelve columns or turned legs, which draws out at both ends, and is provided beneath with six stools."
CLE. Hang it all! What am I to do with all this?
LA FL. Have patience.
"Item:--Three large matchlocks inlaid with mother-of-pearl, with rests to correspond. Item:--A brick furnace with two retorts and three receivers, very useful to those who have any taste for distilling."
CLE. You will drive me crazy.
LA FL. Gently!
"Item:--A Bologna lute with all its strings, or nearly all. Item:--A pigeon-hole table and a draught-board, and a game of mother goose, restored from the Greeks, most useful to pass the time when one has nothing to do. Item:--A lizard's skin, three feet and a half in length, stuffed with hay, a pleasing curiosity to hang on the ceiling of a room. The whole of the above-mentioned articles are really worth more than four thousand five hundred francs, and are reduced to the value of a thousand crowns through the considerateness of the lender."
CLE. Let the plague choke him with his considerateness, the wretch, the cut-throat that he is! Did ever anyone hear of such usury? Is he not satisfied with the outrageous interest he asks that he must force me to take, instead of the three thousand francs, all the old rubbish which he picks up. I shan't get two hundred crowns for all that, and yet I must bring myself to yield to all his wishes; for he is in a position to force me to accept everything, and he has me, the villain, with a knife at my throat.
LA FL. I see you, Sir, if you'll forgive my saying so, on the high-road followed by Panurge[2] to ruin himself--taking money in advance, buying dear, selling cheap, and cutting your corn while it is still grass.
CLE. What would you have me do? It is to this that young men are reduced by the accursed avarice of their fathers; and people are astonished after that, that sons long for their death.
LA FL. No one can deny that yours would excite against his meanness the most quiet of men. I have not, thank God, any inclination gallows-ward, and among my colleagues whom I see dabbling in various doubtful affairs, I know well enough how to keep myself out of hot water, and how to keep clear of all those things which savour ever so little of the ladder; but to tell you the truth, he almost gives me, by his ways of going on, the desire of robbing him, and I should think that in doing so I was doing a meritorious action.
CLE. Give me that memorandum that I may have another look at it.
## SCENE II.--HARPAGON, MR. SIMON (CLÉANTE _and_ LA FLÈCHE _at the back
of the stage_).
SIM. Yes, Sir; it is a young man who is greatly in want of money; his affairs force him to find some at any cost, and he will submit to all your conditions.
HAR. But are you sure, Mr. Simon, that there is no risk to run in this case? and do you know the name, the property, and the family of him for whom you speak?
SIM. No; I cannot tell you anything for certain, as it was by mere chance that I was made acquainted with him; but he will tell you everything himself, and his servant has assured me that you will be quite satisfied when you know who he is. All I can tell you is that his family is said to be very wealthy, that he has already lost his mother, and that he will pledge you his word, if you insist upon it, that his father will die before eight months are passed.
HAR. That is something. Charity, Mr. Simon, demands of us to gratify people whenever we have it in our power.
SIM. Evidently.
LA FL. (_aside to_ CLÉANTE, _on recognising_ MR. SIMON). What does this mean? Mr. Simon talking with your father!
CLE. (_aside to_ LA FLÈCHE). Has he been told who I am, and would you be capable of betraying me?
SIM. (_to_ CLÉANTE _and_ LA FLÈCHE). Ah! you are in good time! But who told you to come here? (_To_ HARPAGON) It was certainly not I who told them your name and address; but I am of opinion that there is no great harm done; they are people who can be trusted, and you can come to some understanding together.
HAR. What!
SIM. (_showing_ CLÉANTE). This is the gentleman who wants to borrow the fifteen thousand francs of which I have spoken to you.
HAR. What! miscreant! is it you who abandon yourself to such excesses?
CLE. What! father! is it you who stoop to such shameful deeds?
(MR. SIMON _runs away, and_ LA FLÈCHE _hides himself_.)
## SCENE III.--HARPAGON, CLÉANTE.
HAR. It is you who are ruining yourself by loans so greatly to be condemned!
CLE. So it is you who seek to enrich yourself by such criminal usury!
HAR. And you dare, after that, to show yourself before me?
CLE. And you dare, after that, to show yourself to the world?
HAR. Are you not ashamed, tell me, to descend to these wild excesses, to rush headlong into frightful expenses, and disgracefully to dissipate the wealth which your parents have amassed with so much toil.
CLE. Are you not ashamed of dishonouring your station by such dealings, of sacrificing honour and reputation to the insatiable desire of heaping crown upon crown, and of outdoing the most infamous devices that have ever been invented by the most notorious usurers?
HAR. Get out of my sight, you reprobate; get out of my sight!
CLE. Who is the more criminal in your opinion: he who buys the money of which he stands in need, or he who obtains, by unfair means, money for which he has no use?
HAR. Begone, I say, and do not provoke me to anger. (_Alone_) After all, I am not very much vexed at this adventure; it will be a lesson to me to keep a better watch over all his doings.
## SCENE IV.--FROSINE, HARPAGON.
FRO. Sir.
HAR. Wait a moment, I will come back and speak to you. (_Aside_) I had better go and see a little after my money.
## SCENE V.--LA FLÈCHE, FROSINE.
LA FL. (_without seeing_ FROSINE). The adventure is most comical. Hidden somewhere he must have a large store of goods of all kinds, for the list did not contain one single article which either of us recognised.
FRO. Hallo! is it you, my poor La Flèche? How is it we meet here?
LA FL. Ah! ah! it is you, Frosine; and what have you come to do here?
FRO. What have I come to do? Why! what I do everywhere else, busy myself about other people's affairs, make myself useful to the community in general, and profit as much as I possibly can by the small talent I possess. Must we not live by our wits in this world? and what other resources have people like me but intrigue and cunning?
LA FL. Have you, then, any business with the master of this house?