Part 2

56. Mr. W. H., 39 years of age, a strongly built young man, comes to me to be treated for epilepsy and every time he is accompanied by an attendant. Since his 16th year he suffers attacks and several times he was seized while on the street. For that reason he does not go out alone and is always accompanied by his attendant, a simple fellow to whom he seems much attached. He is totally incapacitated from following any occupation for it turns out that his attacks are more frequent when he endeavors to work. On account of his attacks he has prevailed upon his well-to-do father to keep him in the country where he has nothing to do but to go on walks. He is soft and pliant so long as things go his way. But if contradicted he flies into great rage. He does not burst out with anger but tries to control himself and soon afterwards he has an attack during which he sees red. He reproaches himself a great deal on account of his failure to achieve something in life and because he is the cause of so much trouble to his parents. His ethical standard is a very high one and that is a point of great significance in the differential diagnosis of genuine epilepsy. He bemoans his misspent life and wants to be cured. If only there were some way to free him of the trouble! Regarding his sexual life: he relates that he is decidedly homosexual and that boys and handsome young men particularly attract him. The attendant is clearly a protection against his homosexual excitations. When he meets boys who attract him he clings to his attendant pretending to fear an oncoming attack. While living in the country at the present his attacks come on only at night and in bed. He does not recall the _aura_, except that he sees red, and he remembers no dream starting or accompanying the attack. He masturbates occasionally; always with the fancy that he is playing with small boys. I suggest to his parents that he ought to be psychoanalyzed. In view of the hopeless character of other current therapy this may be his only chance of recovery. The father agrees. But as the patient lives some distance from Vienna I advise the father to remove him to the city for the duration of the treatment. This he also agrees to do. Next day the mother calls and asks me to use my influence to prevent the boy from staying in Vienna. That would bring him back home and she is tremendously afraid of him. Her husband does not know it, she has kept it from him. During the attacks the son turns on her and attempts to attack her. Once she succeeded to repel him only by the exercise of her strength. During the attack he rolls his eyes fearfully and threatens she must die because she is responsible for everything. I arrange that the patient should see me only twice a week after that. But on the third appointment he failed to appear, because I had stipulated as one of the first conditions of my treatment that he must go to work. The very next day he reacted with several attacks. The father found that the treatment proved “too exciting” for the boy, and I agreed readily to give up the analysis when the father took entirely the son’s side and disagreed with the suggestion that the boy must take up some occupation.

This case shows the outbreak of homosexuality during the attacks and an affective relationship to the mother such as is shown by many homosexuals, as we shall explain more fully later.

The reverse also happens,—heterosexuals committing homosexual deeds during the attacks. The repressed components of sexuality always break through during the attack.

_Tarnowsky_, too, speaks of “_epileptic pederasty_.”[5] The “epileptic pederasts” are usually of active character. As an example he mentions the case of a criminal who came under his personal observation. A young man, wealthy, apparently fully heterosexual, goes to the house of his beloved after a sumptuous dinner during which he had imbibed a great amount of wine. The lady of the house not being at home he went to a room where a 14-year-old boy was asleep, assaulted him and also the chamber maid who ran to the spot attracted by the boy’s outcries. After that he fell into a sleep which lasted 12 hours. When he awoke he recalled nothing of the episode. It was found that he was subject to epileptic attacks particularly after wine. _Hirschfeld_ observes in this connection:

“Usually the epileptic neurosis—which, as a matter of fact, I have noticed but rarely among homosexuals—influences homosexuality in the sense of removing the inhibitions and increasing the impulsive energy of the instinctive cravings. I have had under examination a particularly serious case of this character, a man-servant, subject to epilepsy who during a fit of rage and anger strangled to death and then hacked to pieces a boy. In this, as in similar cases, there was a previous history of a fusion of homosexuality and epilepsy. At any rate it is conceivable that during the beclouding of consciousness induced by the epileptic seizure all psychic factors undergo such a complete transformation that even tendencies ordinarily wholly foreign to consciousness and not even tolerated in the foreconscious, insofar as the latter may be revealed, find ready outlet. _Burchard_, too, has observed an epileptic of normal sexuality who during the seizures committed homosexual assaults on other patients.” (_Hirschfeld_, _loc. cit._, p. 214.)

What I have said about the influence of alcoholics holds true also of epileptic attacks. The latter also neutralize the inhibitions and the bisexual and criminal aspects of human nature come clearly to surface. It is noteworthy that _Tarnowsky’s_ patient also indulged in alcohol before the onset of the attack.

The following case shows that the attacks may also be simulated:

57. Mr. Z. T., a bisexual, subject to anxiety attacks, relates that he suffered a great deal once because his mother devoted herself very lovingly to a brother during the latter’s illness. He was 22 years of age at the time and extremely jealous. Once he found himself alone in the room with his mother. Without knowing what he was doing he threw himself on her with the intent of assaulting her. The mother shouted and the sisters and servants came rushing in. He simulated an epileptic fit, threw himself on the floor and remained for an hour apparently in a faint. Physicians were called in and they declared the condition epilepsy. For two days he acted as if he heard nothing of what was said and knew nothing of what was going on. His deed caused him endless shame. He was not reproached on account of it and he spent two months in a comfortable sanatorium.

How closely related are make-believe and illness with every neurotic! This young man suffered also from fear and disgust of women but that, as well as his whole anxiety neurosis, disappeared completely under psychoanalytic treatment. The case stands as one of my most successful therapeutic accomplishments.

We turn our attention now to a consideration of the disgust with which homosexuals are inspired by the other sex. I have already repeatedly stated that the disgust represents a repressed desire, that it stands for the repulsion of unbearable tendencies. Heterosexuals show a similar aversion for their own sex,—a feeling which the homosexuals have repressed. That much the very beginner in psychoanalysis knows; the observation belongs to the _a b c_ of practical psychology. Nevertheless, we still find disgust and scorn of woman pointed out as proofs of homosexuality. Disgust is not a proof of the absence of the proper _libido_. The true homosexuals would show a complete indifference towards the opposite sex. Occasionally they do assume such indifference for their attitude is always affective and negativistic. _Hirschfeld_ contradicts himself repeatedly on this point.

In one place he emphasizes that the genuine homosexual is indifferent towards woman and shows no disgust:

“On this point also I find myself in agreement with _Numa Praetorius_,[6] who in one of his essays remarks that most persons ‘show an inclination towards one sex but only indifference towards the other sex.’ He is of the opinion that the disgust of heterosexuals’ feeling-attitude of disgust towards homosexual deeds, too, is an intellectual process induced by the prevailing social attitude and judgment rather than instinctive and innate. If the dislike were genuine heterosexuals would hardly get along so easily and so often with homosexuals nor would the latter carry on so readily masturbatory acts with the opposite sex, even though the acts be limited to mechanical excitations.” (_Hirschfeld_, _loc. cit._, p. 218.)

But another passage of the work reveals the opposite view:

“A 26-year-old workingman relates: ‘At 17 years of age an older friend of mine induced me once to have sexual intercourse with a woman—I was unaware at the time of my _urning disposition_—and I felt such disgust that I vomited. Since that time I have a “holy horror” of any contact with woman, until a few weeks ago when driven to despair I tried to control myself. It was useless, I could attain neither erection nor ejaculation and instead, the continuous irritation brought on an inflammation of the member.’”

“A Bavarian merchant relates: ‘As a result of repeated intercourse with women I have acquired a serious nervous derangement, a strong sense of lassitude associated with vomiting and migraine lasting for days. The odor exhaled by woman causes me greatest distress. I am now unable to gratify a woman, but on the other hand contact with a soldier makes me happy, it strengthens and revives me.’” (_Hirschfeld_, _loc. cit._, p. 96.)

In the passage next following he expresses himself even more plainly:

“It is very striking to note that women in executive positions, directresses, etc., are much more severe with the male employees, servants, etc., than with the female personnel. There are homosexual males who avoid any service by women and chiefly for that reason dislike restaurants employing female waitresses. Also, there are homosexual women who avoid business relations with men for similar reasons. Without knowing why, homosexually predisposed girls begin early to feel that being conducted home by gentlemen is something superfluous as well as unpleasant. Many _urnings_ and _urlinds_ actually experience a physical distress when some member of the opposite sex so much as helps them on with their coat. _I know several homosexual physicians of extreme sensitiveness whose aversion to the female characters is so strong that physical examinations of women, particularly of their sexual parts or breasts, is highly repulsive to them and the aversion may go so far as to make it impossible for them to undertake such an examination._” (_Hirschfeld_, _loc. cit._, p. 98.)

Such accounts prove that the attitude of the homosexual towards the opposite sex is not one of indifference. Where that is claimed it may be doubted; at any rate it does not correspond with psychoanalytic experience. Hatred, anger, disgust, physical discomfort serve as protections against the other sex. That is true of male as well as of the female homosexuals.

For a short space I shall now limit my observations to male homosexuals. I shall attempt to make clear how I have arrived at my present conception. _The homosexual’s scorn of woman, his emotional revulsion-attitude against the other sex, is precisely what led me to formulate my new conceptions._ I had the opportunity to analyze a homosexual. During the very first consultation hours there was revealed that heterosexual stage through which every homosexual must pass. Previously it was my custom to refuse to analyze homosexuals because I had assumed _Hirschfeld’s_ view that _uranism_ is an innate condition. This particular patient suffered of various anxiety attacks and came to be treated for his anxiety not for his homosexuality. His anxiety state showed itself particularly as a fear of woman so that he could not trust himself to be alone with one. Among his acquaintances there was also a very sympathetic spinster. They went on walks together for hours but his fear still dominated him and he could never trust himself with her alone in a room. They held their conversations either in a public garden or at a restaurant. Naturally I looked into this anxiety condition and began to investigate this homosexual who had maintained relations with an elderly gentleman for years, with reference to his heterosexuality. I was surprised when he brought forth countless heterosexual reminiscences from his childhood. During the first few days I heard the usual history of _urnings_: the liking for girls’ games, womanly behavior, he had always been more like a girl in everything, etc. But soon the picture changed and the heterosexual tendency became gradually more evident. His dependence on the attachment to the mother was striking. One-sided as my attitude was at the time, I made certain deductions, somewhat hastily, regarding the roots of homosexuality, and in the first edition of my _Angstzustände_ (1908), after several similar experiences, I wrote:

“As is shown by my latest investigations these cases are frequently neuroses. Some time homosexuality improves or may disappear under psychoanalysis. Homosexuality represents merely the complete revulsion of infantile incestuous thoughts. Homosexual males never experience any erotic feeling in contact with a strange woman; they confess that they can feel towards these women only as towards a sister or the mother. That discloses to us the roots of homosexuality. The concept ‘woman’ is unalterably fused with the concepts ‘mother’ and ‘sister.’ The _Abwehr_ of incestuous fancies determines the flight into homosexuality. That transposition naturally is facilitated through corresponding somatic changes. The homosexual, too, is a victim of infantile reminiscences. Thus homosexuality turns out to be but a special form of the neurotic repression.”

With youthful impetuosity I formulated the results of my investigations somewhat hastily at the time and expressed the therapeutic results in too optimistic a tone. In the course of time I learned to know better. Many patients who considered themselves cured were only improved and stuck to their _uranism_. We shall have to speak of that with full

## particulars.

For the present I must consider more fully the theme “mother and homosexuality.” The relationship between the two I had originally conceived according to the Freudian formula. I did not see at the time the influence of other forces, such as I have already pointed out here. The earliest dream of my first homosexual, for instance, was about a murder, the victim being a woman; I did not understand that dream. I did not know that the fear of woman stood for the fear of criminal tendencies, that the subject was a sadist who had saved himself through homosexuality from committing some regrettable deed. These impulses accompanied the incest phantasies which were unusually strong and of which he was fully aware long before analysis. The latter were merely pushed out of consciousness as unbearable. A short time later _Sadger_ published his first analysis of a homosexual and in that contribution he formulated the thesis that like every other neurosis homosexuality arises during the fourth year and that the task of analysis, therefore, must be to reach back to the fourth year.[7]

_Sadger_ emphasized: “From the very first I assumed that the homosexual tendencies may be acquired only if they are formed during the first four years, precisely as in the case of hysteria and compulsive neurosis and that psychoanalysis ought to uncover the fact. What stood beyond psychoanalysis must be innate and corresponds to the sexual constitution proper.”

That work, extremely one-sided and full of contradictions, still attempts to reduce homosexuality to the love of the father. The mother plays a limited rôle. It is mentioned passingly that the subject of the analysis had never loved a being so dearly as the mother; but even before the mother’s death an aunt had attracted to herself the boy’s love.

But what are the conclusions drawn by _Sadger_ from the case? None whatever! He is pleased that he has been able to bring to light such interesting material but knows not what to do with it. Among the various questions and answers there is a very significant passage suggesting an important conclusion. Concerning his attachment to the mother the subject states: “_And my love arose chiefly through compassion, because father drank a great deal lately and paid attention to other women and mother often wept and that made me feel badly._”

That is a fact which I have had occasion frequently to corroborate. The children of drinkers and “woman-chasers” turn easily homosexual, in the endeavor to be unlike the father. They then hate woman and scorn everything that the father liked in particular. They become abstinent and try to behave contrary to the father in every respect.

_Sadger’s_ patient actually points out this tendency. He states: “Father clearly had no homosexual inclination as he was a great admirer of women. From the time he began telling me about the school—he was

## particularly fond of French women—he also advised me to marry only a

French woman and showed me French pictures and the photos of various French women. It was thus instilled in me that I ought to marry a French woman.” And what did the father accomplish thereby? Was it jealousy or pity and love for the mother? The father accomplished the contrary of what he set out to do. Instead of obedience he was met with spite. The subject relates: “Later when I became aware of my homosexual inclinations, _everything French-like was particularly hateful to me, especially the French women, I no longer liked the French language or anything whatever related to French_....”

The subject had a pronounced fear of marriage, having seen a sad example of it in his own home. He dreams of getting married, a minister is about to perform the ceremony, and he is so unhappy in the midst of it that upon awakening his happiness knows no bounds. He fears every great passion. “I am afraid of a really tremendous love, because such a passion always makes me unhappy.” The analysis discloses other relations to the father which are of greatest significance.

The feeling-attitude in question dates in fact from the earliest childhood. As yet we are ignorant of child nature and we do not fully appreciate that the fundamental traits of life show themselves very definitely during early childhood. This boy must have conceived early the thought: _I must not be like the father!_ and so he turned away from women because the father was an admirer of that sex. Whether this choice of attitude was also influenced directly by love for the father I am unable to assert in that particular case. It seems to play a contributory rôle and greatly denied love may enhance the child’s attachment to the mother. _But does not the example of a drinking “woman-chaser” contrasted to the picture of a quiet suffering mother seem to be enough to induce the differentiation and to maintain it as its underlying determining motive?_ Back of the homosexuality of the first case of the kind analyzed by _Sadger_ stands the subject’s fear of becoming like his father. The violent fancies disclosed in the course of the analysis show that there are also other reasons for the subject’s fear of woman. He is so constituted that he cannot see blood. This peculiarity denotes the conversion of a craving for violence and signifies a repressed sadism.

In Russia he once witnessed how a man split his wife’s head open with a stone.... The occurrence so impressed him that he could never get it out of his mind, and he also likes to dwell on wars and other bloody scenes.

There can be no doubt the man is a sadist and that with reference to women in particular. He has full reason to fear woman. His fear is fear of himself. He must turn to man, towards whom he does not feel the instinctive sexual hatred which makes heterosexual excitations impossible for him. When he has intercourse with a woman, he feels subsequently a tremendous disgust and revulsion, the whole thing seems to him unnatural. In the end he gives up all such attempts.

Obviously he is all the time seeking a kindly preeminent father for he falls in love with an elderly philosopher, out of respect for philosophy, as he paralogizes, because he looks to philosophy to redeem him from his suffering. The differentiation is an attempt at gaining freedom, a tendency to overcome the nature of the father. The love of the philosopher is a substitution for the love of the father.

Thus we see the importance of the early life history of every subject for the understanding of homosexuality. The constellation of childhood permits the reading of the horoscope for the future. Perhaps this uncontrovertible truth contains the root of all astrologic art, “the planetary laws governing the facts of life.” The father as the sun, the mother as the milder moon and the children, the stars. Our fate arranges itself in accordance with the constellation of these planets. Blind accident and innate forces cooperate to create man as he is.

But let us look further into the investigations of _Sadger_ to whom the credit must not be denied of having applied himself earnestly to the attempt of solving the problem of homosexuality.

His next publication appeared also in 1908.[8] Here we find clearly taken into account the infantile heterosexual attitude which all homosexuals usually forget but which always precedes genuine homosexuality.

“The young student, 21 years of age at the time, was sent to me, because he was tormented by various homosexual inclinations, especially directed towards young boys 14–20 years of age, associated with all sorts of masochistic feelings. In contact with woman (a prostitute with whom he sought intercourse three times till then, the first two times spontaneously, to see whether he is at all potent, the third time, on medical advice as well as upon his father’s insistence) he found himself entirely _impotent_. Questioned whether he ever felt any inclination towards the opposite sex, he only recalls that when he was two or three years of age he once opened the garden gate for a girl of about his own age, with a flourish of extreme gallantry. Concerning any hereditary factors he can only relate that a brother of his mother’s had some mental trouble. The mother herself seemed to have something boy-like and manly about her, on the other hand the father showed very little sensuousness and rather pronounced inverted traits, while a sister, who died early, had a _very boy-like facial expression_. She preferred boyish games and at 4 or 5 years of age she chose a boy’s hobby horse for her Christmas present. Some female cousins—on mother’s as well as on father’s side—were clearly amphigenously inverted. The subject himself had unusually broad hips and the growth of his facial hair was noticeably scant. As a child he is supposed to have played only with dolls, never with soldiers, he never took part in boys’ games and he also learned embroidery.