Part 18
There was wee Scotty, o' the Coogate Kirk; and a famous preacher he was at the height o' his popularity. But he was sadly bathered wi' his flock, for they kept him aye in het water.
Ae day he was preaching on Job. "My brethren," says he, "Job, in the first place, was a sairly-tried man; Job, in the second place, was an uncommonly patient man; Job, in the third place, never preached in the Coogate; fourthly and lastly, had Job preached _there_, the Lord help his patience."
* * * * *
At anither time, before the service began, when there was a great noise o' folk gaun into their seats, he got up in the pu'pit an' cried out--"Oh, that I could hear the pence rattle in the plate at the door wi' half the noise ye mak' wi' yer cheepin' shoon! Oh, that Paul had been here wi' a long wudden ladle! for yer coppers are strangers in a far country, an' as for yer silver an' gold--let us pray!"
* * * * *
An' there was Deddy Weston, wha began ane o' his Sunday morning services in this manner: "My brethren, I'll divide my discourse the day into three heads: _Firstly_, I'll tell ye something that I ken, an' you dinna ken. _Secondly_, I'll tell ye something that you ken, an' I dinna ken. _Thirdly_, I'll tell ye something that neither you nor me ken. _Firstly_, Coming ower a stile this mornin', my breeks got an unco' skreed. That's something that I ken, an' you dinna ken. _Secondly_, What you're gaun to gie Charlie Waddie, the tailor, for mendin' my breeks, is what you ken, an' I dinna ken. _Thirdly_, What Charlie Waddie's to tak' for mendin' my breeks, is what neither you nor me ken. _Finally and lastly_, Hand round the ladle."
* * * * *
An' there was Doctor Dabster, that could pit a bottle or twa under his belt, an' was neither up nor down. But an unco' bitter body was he when there was a sma' collection. Before the service began, the beadle generally handed him a slip of paper stating the amount collected. Ae day a' the siller gathered was only twa' shillin's an' ninepence; an' he could never get this out o' his head through the whole of his sermon.
He was aye spunkin oot noo an' then. "It's the land o' Canawn ye're thrang strivin' after," says he; "The land o' Canawn, eh?--twa an' ninepence! yes, ye're sure to gang there! I think I see ye! Nae doot ye'll think yersel's on the richt road for't. Ask yer consciences, an' see what they'll say. Ask them, an' see what they'll say. Ask them, an' what _will_ they say? I'll tell ye: 'Twa miserable shillin's an' ninepence is puir passage-money for sic a lang journey!' What? Twa-an'-ninepence! As weel micht a coo gang up a tree tail foremost, an' whistle like a superannuated mavis, as get to Canawn for that!" [26]
FOOTNOTES:
[1] Said by Burns, at the request of the Earl of Selkirk.
Glossary
=Aa. I.=
_Aboon._ Above.
_Ae._ One.
_Aff._ Off.
_Afit._ Afoot.
_Aiblins._ Perhaps, possibly.
_Ain._ Own.
_Ane._ One.
_A'thegither._ Altogether.
_Auchteenpence._ Eighteenpence.
_Aught._ Eight.
_Auld._ Old.
_Ava._ At all.
_Awn._ Own.
_Aye._ Always.
=Babble-ment. Confusion.=
_Bairns._ Children.
_Baith._ Both.
_Bane._ Bone.
_Bauld._ Bold.
_Bawbee._ A half-penny.
_Begond._ Began.
_Belyve._ Immediately, quickly.
_Ben._ Towards; towards the inner; the inner room of a house.
_Blate, blait._ Bashful.
_Blinkit._ Flashed, glanced.
_Birkies._ Lively young fellows.
_Blude._ Blood.
_Bobshanks._ Knees.
_Braes._ The sides of hills.
_Braik._ Break.
_Braw._ Fine, gay, worthy, handsome.
_Bree._ Soup, sauce, juice.
_Brig._ Bridge.
_Brocht._ Brought.
_Brose._ A kind of pottage made by pouring hot water on oatmeal, and stirring while the water is poured.
_Bucky._ Hind quarters (of a hare).
_Buits._ Boots.
_Buss._ Kiss.
=Canny. Cautious, Prudent.=
_Cantrip._ Charm, spell, trick.
_Carle, carl._ A man, as distinguished from a boy.
_Carline._ An old woman.
_Cauld._ Cold.
_Caup._ Cup, wooden bowl.
_Chapping._ Striking.
_Chau'ders._ Denoting large quantities.
_Cheekit._ Entrapped.
_Chiel._ A stripling, a fellow, a servant.
_Chwat._ What.
_Clachan._ Clan.
_Claes._ Clothes.
_Clan._ Tribe.
_Con'le-licht._ Candle-light.
_Coo._ Cow.
_Cuddy._ Donkey.
_Crackit._ Cracked.
_Crand._ Grand.
_Craw._ Crow.
_Crouse._ Boldly, lively, brisk.
_Custrin._ Silly.
_Cutties._ Short spoons.
=Dae. Do.=
_Daft._ Foolish, gay, giddy, wanton.
_Daunder._ To wander.
_Deavin'._ Deafening.
_Dee._ Die.
_Deil._ Devil.
_Ding._ To beat.
_Dinna._ Do not.
_Dittha._ Do they.
_Dochter._ Daughter.
_Douce._ Sedate, sober.
_Doit._ Numskull.
_Doup._ The breech, the bottom or extremity of anything.
_Dour._ Bold, inflexible, obstinate, stern.
_Drap._ A drop; to drop.
_Drookit._ Soaked.
_Droon't._ Drowned.
_Dub-shouper._ Gutter-cleaner.
_Durdham._ Squabble.
=E'e. Eye.=
_E'en._ Eyes; even.
_Eer._ Air.
_Eneuch._ Enough.
_E'enow._ Even now.
_Extrornar._ Extraordinary.
=Faa'. Fall.=
_Fack._ Fact
_Far eist?_ Where is it?
_Far was't?_ Where was it?
_Fash._ Trouble.
_Fat?_ What?
_Faud._ Found.
_Faut._ Fault.
_Fecht._ Fight.
_Feck._ A term denoting space, quantity, number; _the feck o' them_ means "the most part of them."
_Feckled._ Made weak.
_Feine._ Fine.
_Ferry._ Very.
_Fifish._ Somewhat deranged.
_Fleg, fley._ To frighten.
_Flit, flyt._ To change, to remove, to transport. Commonly used of changing one's residence.
_Fluir._ Floor.
_Flyte, Flytings._ To scold, scolding.
_Fog._ Moss.
_Forebears._ Ancestors.
_Forrit._ Forward.
_Fortnicht._ Fortnight.
_Foo'._ A fool, through being drunk.
_Fou, fu'._ Drunk, full.
_Fouk._ Folk.
_Freens._ Friends, relatives.
_Fremit._ Strange.
_Fules._ Fools.
_Fund._ Found.
=Gaed. Went.=
_Gait._ Way.
_Gang._ Go.
_Gars._ Causes, makes.
_Gash._ Ghastly.
_Gav'd._ Made, induced.
_Gey, gay._ Moderately.
_Gied._ Gave.
_Gin._ If.
_Glint._ Sight, glimpse.
_Gowd, goud._ Gold.
_Gowk, golk._ Cuckoo, fool.
_Greetin', greitin._ Crying, the act of.
_Grit._ Great.
_Grond._ Grand.
_Grup._ Grip.
_Gude, guid._ Good.
_Gully._ A large knife.
=Hae. Have.=
_Haggis._ A pudding, made in a sheep's stomach, with oatmeal, suet, the heart, liver and lungs of the sheep, minced down and seasoned with salt, pepper, and onions, and boiled for use.
_Haist._ Haste.
_Hale._ Whole.
_Haudin'._ Holding, keeping.
_Haveril._ One who talks habitually in a foolish manner.
_Heck, hech, high._ To pant, to breathe hard; an exclamation which expresses a condition of breathlessness.
_Heid._ Head.
_Hemmel._ A cow without horns.
_Het._ Hot.
_Hielans._ Highlands.
_Hirple._ To move in a halting manner, as if crippled or momentarily injured, as by a blow.
_Hoo._ How.
_Hunner._ Hundred.
_Hurdham._ Squabble.
_Hustrin._ Lascivious.
=Ilka, ilk. Every, each.=
_Intil, intill._ In, into.
_Intil't._ Into it.
=Jalouse. Expect, guess.=
_Jaud._ Jade.
=Keeking, keiking. Looking= with a prying eye, peeping.
_Kame, kaim._ To comb, comb, honeycomb.
_Ken._ To know; to be acquainted; to understand.
_Kintra._ Country.
_Kirk._ Church.
_Kirsen._ To christen.
=Laird. A man of superior= rank; the owner of a property.
_Lang._ Long, to long or yearn.
_Langsyne._ Long since.
_Lawin'._ A tavern bill.
_Leear._ Liar.
_Lees._ Lies.
_Leeve._ Live.
_Leeving._ Living.
_Lippened._ Trusted, depended.
_Li-thall._ Lethal, deadly, mortal.
_Loon._ Clown, fool.
_Lugs._ Ears.
_Lum, lumb._ Chimney.
_Louring drouth._ Thirst.
=Mair. More.=
_Mairret._ Married.
_Maun._ Must.
_Meikle._ See "Muckle."
_Micht._ Might.
_Misca'._ Miscall.
_Modiwarts, modywarts, moudicworts._ Moles.
_Mon._ See "Maun."
_Muckle._ Much, great.
_Mune._ Moon.
=Nit. Nut.=
_Noo._ Now.
=Ocht. Ought.=
_Oot._ Out.
=Parritch. Porridge.=
_Pawkily, paukily._ Slily, artfully.
_Pawpish._ Popish.
_Poother._ Powder.
_Pow._ The head; a slow rivulet--one moving on lands nearly flat.
_Provost._ The mayor of a burgh or township.
_Puir._ Poor.
=Rale. Real.=
_Reekit._ Smoked.
_Reestit._ Smoke-dried.
_Richt._ Right.
_Rippet._ A difference of opinion such as to estrange; a quarrel.
=Sair. Sore.=
_Scart._ To scratch; to scrape money together; to scrape a dish with a spoon.
_Sclate, sclait._ Slate.
_Scoonril._ Scoundrel.
_Sheltie._ A Shetland pony.
_Shoost._ Just.
_Sic._ Such.
_Sicht._ Sight.
_Siller._ Silver.
_Sink._ Think.
_Skalin'._ Dispersing, retiring, spilling.
_Skelpin'._ Clapping, applause.
_Skirl._ To cry shrilly, shriek.
_Sleekit._ Smooth, shining, oily.
_Sma'._ Small.
_Smiddy._ A smith's shop, smithy.
_Sneeshin'._ Sneezing.
_Sooming._ Swimming.
_Sorners_ Spongers, loiterers.
_Southrons._ Those who live in the south.
_Spier, speir._ To ask.
_Spigot._ Peg, vent-peg.
_Spune._ Spoon.
_Stane._ Stone.
_Strae._ Straw.
_Strathspeys._ A dance tune for two.
_Steekit._ Soon.
_Suppone._ Suppose.
_Syne._ Since.
=Tacket. A nail of a shoe.=
_Tae._ The toe.
_Taes._ Toes.
_Taigle._ Confound.
_Tauld._ Told.
_Thae._ Those (just referred to).
_Thocht, thoucht._ Thought.
_Thrang._ Busy, pressed, crowded, thronged.
_Tift._ Coolness, estrangement.
_Tint._ Lost.
_Toom._ Empty.
_Trow._ To believe.
_Twa._ Two.
=Unco'. Unknown, very, extra.=
=Wad. Would.=
_Wadna._ Would not.
_Wanse._ Once.
_Ware._ Trouble, fuss.
_Wast._ West.
_Wean (wee-ane)._ A child, little one.
_Wee._ Small, little, a short time.
_Weed._ Wild.
_Wersh._ Insipid to the taste.
_Wha._ Who.
_Whaur._ Where.
_Wheen._ A number, quantity, division.
_Whets._ What is, that which is.
_Whilk._ Which.
_Worilt._ World.
_Wot._ To know.
_Wowf._ Half-mad.
_Wud._ Would.
_Wull._ Will.
_Wunnering._ Wondering.
=Yestreen. Last night.=
_Yirth._ Earth.
Out of School Series
It is the intention of the publishers to include in this series only the best copyright stories for boys and girls by well-known popular authors. This idea has been kept in mind in making the selections, and we can heartily recommend any or all of the stories.
=A Roman Maiden=
=By Emma Marshall, author of "Fanny and Her Friends," "Master Martin," etc., etc. 12mo. Cloth. Illustrated. $1.00.=
A quaint story of the fourth century which maids of the twentieth century will thoroughly enjoy. Hyacintha is the daughter of one of the most noble houses of Rome, and as such she is permitted to enter the Temple of Vesta as a Vestal Virgin; the greatest honor possible to a daughter of Rome. The charm and simplicity of life in the Temple of Vesta are beautifully described, and a tender little love story gives to the book the needed touch of romance.
=The Worst Boy in Town=
=By John Habberton, author of "Helen's Babies," "Phil Fuzzytop," etc., etc. Illustrated. 12mo. Cloth. $1.00.=
What Tom Hughes did for the Rugby boy, Habberton has in this volume done for the American village lad. The book is manly and valuable.--_New York Herald._
The "worst boy" is simply a lad whose exuberant spirits are eternally leading him into pranks. * * * A pleasant volume for the Boys' Library.--_Detroit Free Press._
=A Little Turning Aside=
=By Barbara Yechton, author of "We Ten," "Derrick," etc. Illustrated. 12mo. Cloth. $1.00.=
[Illustration: book front cover]
The book is as dainty and charming as any published in years. The cover design and illustrations are in keeping with the story itself.--_Troy Daily Times._
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=The Little Ladies of Ellenwood=
=And Their Hidden Treasure. By Sarah G. Connell. Illustrated. 12mo. Cloth. $1.00.=
A delightful story for young people. It has a freshness, interest and purity solely its own.--_St. Paul Dispatch._
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Sarah G. Connell has written a story in which all the children will delight. It tells of a family of six children who had been reared in luxury by their loving father, and how, when bankruptcy darkened their doors, they all took hold to make life in their altered circumstances still happy and all the more worth living. The story is well told, and there is enough fun scattered through its pages to make the reading joyously interesting. It is a book which every child will enjoy.--_Boston Times._
A fresh story which will hold the attention of young folk, especially girls.--_Living Church._
* * * * *
Transcriber's note:
For some unexplained reason, a few anecdotes appear twice.
Some possible typographical errors have not been altered, as they might reflect acceptable spelling at the time the book was written.
Numerous punctuation marks have been inserted or amended.
Hyphenation: the following variants appear in this text:
"bell-man" and "bellman", "church-yard" and "churchyard", "game-keeper" and "gamekeeper", "great-grandfather" and "greatgrandfather", "help-mate" and "helpmate", "Highland-man" and "Highlandman", "hill-side" and "hillside", "nick-name" and "nickname".
On p. 17, the reference number [38] is almost certainly wrong, but it is impossible to determine what the correct number should be.
On p. 102, "droughty" should possibly be "drouthy" but has not been amended.
Incorrect page numbers in the Table of Contents have been silently corrected. Similarly, titles of anecdotes have been silently corrected to match the entries in the Table of Contents.
The following typographical amendments have been made:
p. 8 "mannderings" amended to "maunderings";
p. 9 "Peter Peeble's" amended to "Peter Peebles'";
p. 15 "denouément" amended to "dénouement";
p. 17 "lear" amended to "leear";
p. 18 "Reminiscenses" amended to "Reminiscences";
p. 44 "hapdened" amended to "happened";
p. 46 "causus belli" amended to "casus belli";
p. 55 "or" amended to "of";
p. 59 "Au old minister" amended to "An old minister";
p. 60 "pny" amended to "pony", and "It'so" amended to "It's";
p. 79 "vilage" amended to "village";
p. 91 "gav'd" amended to "gar'd";
p. 96 "Ses's" amended to "She's";
p. 97 "inqured" amended to "inquired";
p. 104 "brawled out" amended to "bawled out"
p. 119 "majesly" mended to "majesty";
p. 120 "peremtorily" amended to "peremptorily";
p. 126 "in in" amended to "in";
p. 127 "vengence" amended to "vengeance";
p. 141 "I have faud ye a bed" amended to "I have fand ye a bed"
p. 157 "esconced" amended to "ensconced";
p. 161 "Entrace" amended to "Entrance";
p. 168 "folowing" amended to "following";
p. 170 "to eager" amended to "too eager";
p. 171 "Sandly" amended to "Sandy";
p. 178 "pennny" amended to "penny";
p. 180 "to he very dignified" amended to "to be very dignified";
p. 182 "Kirkaldy" amended to "Kirkcaldy";
p. 183 "thea sermons" amended to "thae sermons", and "Spreyside" amended to "Speyside";
p. 207 "Ursâ" amended to "Ursa";
p. 214 "_That_" amended to "_That's_".