Part 20

_M. Mery._ Enamoured quod you? have ye spied out that? Ah sir, mary nowe I see you know what is what. 110 Enamoured ka?[370] mary sir say that againe, But I thought not ye had marked it so plaine.

_R. Royster._ Yes, eche where they gaze all upon me and stare.

_M. Mery._ Yea malkyn, I warrant you as muche as they dare. And ye will not beleve what they say in the streete, 115 When your mashyp passeth by all such as I meete, That sometimes I can scarce finde what aunswere to make. Who is this (sayth one) sir _Launcelot du lake_?[371] Who is this, greate _Guy_[372] of Warwike, sayth an other? No (say I) it is the thirtenth _Hercules_ brother. 120 Who is this? noble _Hector_ of _Troy_, sayth the thirde? No, but of the same nest (say I) it is a birde. Who is this? greate _Goliah_, _Sampson_, or _Colbrande_?[373] No (say I) but it is a brute[374] of the Alie[375] lande. Who is this? greate _Alexander_?[376] or _Charle le Maigne_? 125 No, it is the tenth Worthie, say I to them agayne: I knowe not if I sayd well.

_R. Royster._ Yes for so I am.

_M. Mery._ Yea, for there were but nine worthies before ye came. B i _b_ To some others, the third _Cato_[377] I doe you call. And so as well as I can I aunswere them all. 130 Sir I pray you, what lorde or great gentleman is this? Maister Ralph Roister Doister dame say I, ywis. O Lorde (sayth she than) what a goodly man it is, Woulde Christ I had such a husbande as he is. O Lorde (say some) that the sight of his face we lacke:[378] 135 It is inough for you (say I) to see his backe. His face is for ladies of high and noble parages.[379] With whome he hardly scapeth great mariages. With muche more than this, and much otherwise.

_R. Royster._ I can thee thanke that thou canst suche answeres devise: 140 But I perceyve thou doste me throughly knowe.

_M. Mery._ I marke your maners for myne owne learnyng I trowe, But suche is your beautie, and suche are your actes, Suche is your personage, and suche are your factes,[380] That all women faire and fowle, more and less, 145 They[381] eye you, they lubbe[382] you, they talke of you doubtlesse, Your p[l]easant looke maketh them all merie, Ye passe not by, but they laugh till they be werie, Yea and money coulde I have[,] the truthe to tell, Of many, to bryng you that way where they dwell. 150

_R. Royster._ Merygreeke for this thy reporting well of mee:

_M. Mery._ What shoulde I else sir, it is my duetie pardee:

_R. Royster._ I promise thou shalt not lacke, while I have a grote.

_M. Mery._ Faith sir, and I nere had more nede of a newe cote.

_R. Royster._ Thou shalte have one to morowe, and golde for to spende. 155

_M. Mery._ Then I trust to bring the day to a good ende. For as for mine owne parte having money inowe, I could lyve onely with the remembrance of you. But nowe to your Widowe whome you love so hotte.

_R. Royster._ By cocke thou sayest truthe, I had almost forgotte. 160

_M. Mery._ What if Christian Custance will not have you what?

_R. Royster._ Have me? yes I warrant you,[383] never doubt of that, I knowe she loveth me, but she dare not speake. B ii

_M. Mery._ In deede meete it were some body should it breake.

_R. Royster._ She looked on me twentie tymes yesternight, 165 And laughed so.

_M. Mery._ That she coulde not sitte upright,

_R. Royster._ No faith coulde she not.

_M. Mery._ No even such a thing I cast.[384]

_R. Royster._ But for wowyng thou knowest women are shamefast. But and she knewe my minde, I knowe she would be glad, And thinke it the best chaunce that ever she had. 170

_M. Mery._ Too[385] hir then like a man, and be bolde forth to starte, Wowers never speede well, that have a false harte.

_R. Royster._ What may I best doe?

_M. Mery._ Sir remaine ye a while [here[386]]? Ere long one or other of hir house will appere. Ye knowe my minde. 175

_R. Royster._ Yea now hardly[387] lette me alone.

_M. Mery._ In the meane time sir, if you please, I wyll home, And call your Musitians,[388] for in this your case It would sette you forth, and all your wowyng grace, Ye may not lacke your instrumentes to play and sing.

_R. Royster._ Thou knowest I can doe that. 180

_M. Mery._ As well as any thing. Shall I go call your folkes, that ye may shewe a cast?[389]

_R. Royster._ Yea runne I beseeche thee in all possible haste.

_M. Mery._ I goe. _Exeat._

_R. Royster._ Yea for I love singyng out of measure, It comforteth my spirites and doth me great pleasure. 185 But who commeth forth yond from my swete hearte Custance? My matter frameth well, thys is a luckie chaunce.

Actus. i. Scæna iii.

MAGE MUMBLE CRUST,[390] _spinning on the distaffe_. TIBET TALK APACE, _sowyng_. ANNOT ALYFACE, _knittyng_. R. ROISTER.

_M. Mumbl._ If thys distaffe were spoonne[,] Margerie Mumblecrust[--]

_Tib. Talk._[391] Where good stale ale is will drinke no water I trust.

_M. Mumbl._ Dame Custance hath promised us good ale and white bread.[392]

_Tib. Talk._ If she kepe not promise, I will beshrewe hir head: B ii _b_ But it will be starke nyght before I shall have done. 5

_R. Royster_ [_aside_]. I will stande here a while, and talke with them anon, I heare them speake of Custance, which doth my heart good, To heare hir name spoken doth even comfort my blood.

_M. Mumbl._ Sit downe to your worke Tibet like a good girle.

_Tib. Talk._ Nourse medle you with your spyndle and your whirle, 10 No haste but good, Madge Mumblecrust, for whip and whurre[393] The olde proverbe doth say, never made good furre.

_M. Mumbl._ Well, ye wyll sitte downe to your worke anon, I trust.

_Tib. Talk._ Soft fire maketh sweete malte,[394] good Madge Mumblecrust.

_M. Mumbl._ And sweete malte maketh joly good ale for the nones. 15

_Tib. Talk._ Whiche will slide downe the lane without any bones. _Cantet._[395] Olde browne bread crustes must have much good mumblyng, But good ale downe your throte hath good easie tumbling.

_R. Royster_ [_aside_]. The jolyest wench that ere I hearde, little mouse,-- May I not rejoice that she shall dwell in my house? 20

_Tib. Talk._ So sirrha, nowe this geare beginneth for to frame.

_M. Mumbl._ Thanks to God, though your work stand stil, your tong is not lame

_Tib. Talk._ And though your teeth be gone, both so sharpe and so fine Yet your tongue can renne on patins[396] as well as mine.

_M. Mumbl._ Ye were not for nought named Tyb Talke apace. 25

_Tib. Talk._ Doth my talke grieve you? Alack, God save your grace.

_M. Mumbl._ I holde[397] a grote ye will drinke anon for this geare.

_Tib. Talk._ And I wyll pray you the stripes for me to beare.

_M. Mumbl._ I holde a penny, ye will drink without a cup.

_Tib. Talk._ Wherein so ere ye drinke, I wote ye drinke all up. 30

_An. Alyface._[398] By Cock and well sowed, my good Tibet Talke apace.

_Tib. Talk._ And een as well knitte my nowne Annot Alyface.

_R. Royster_ [_aside_]. See what a sort she kepeth that must be my wife[!] Shall not I when I have hir, leade a merrie life?

_Tib. Talk._ Welcome my good wenche, and sitte here by me just. 35

_An. Alyface._ And howe doth our old beldame here, Mage Mumblecrust?

_Tib. Talk._ Chyde, and finde faultes, and threaten to complaine.

_An. Alyface._ To make us poore girles shent to hir is small gaine. B iii

_M. Mumbl._ I dyd neyther chyde, nor complaine, nor threaten.

_R. Royster_ [_aside_]. It woulde grieve my heart to see one of them beaten. 40

_M. Mumbl._ I dyd nothyng but byd hir worke and holde hir peace.

_Tib. Talk._ So would I, if you coulde your clattering ceasse: But the devill can not make olde trotte[399] holde hir tong.

_An. Alyface._ Let all these matters passe, and we three sing a song, So shall we pleasantly bothe the tyme beguile now, 45 And eke dispatche all our workes ere we can tell how.

_Tib. Talk._ I shrew them that say nay, and that shall not be I.

_M. Mumbl._ And I am well content.

_Tib. Talk._ Sing on then by and by.

_R. Royster_ [_aside_]. And I will not away, but listen to their song, Yet Merygreeke and my folkes tary very long. 50

TIB, AN, _and_ MARGERIE, _doe singe here_.

Pipe mery Annot.[400] etc. Trilla, Trilla. Trillarie. Worke Tibet, worke Annot, worke Margerie. Sewe Tibet, knitte Annot, spinne Margerie. Let us see who shall winne the victorie. 55

_Tib. Talk._ This sleve is not willyng to be sewed I trowe, A small thing might make me all in the grounde to throwe.

_Then they sing agayne._

Pipe merrie Annot. etc. Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie. What Tibet, what Annot, what Margerie. 60 Ye sleepe, but we doe not, that shall we trie. Your fingers be nombde, our worke will not lie.

_Tib. Talk._ If ye doe so againe, well I would advise you nay. In good sooth one stoppe[401] more, and I make holy day.

_They singe the thirde tyme._

Pipe Mery Annot. etc. 65 Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie. Nowe Tibbet, now Annot, nowe Margerie. B iii _b_ Nowe whippet[402] apace for the maystrie, But it will not be, our mouth is so drie.

_Tib. Talk._ Ah, eche finger is a thombe to day me thinke, 70 I care not to let all alone, choose it swimme or sinke.

_They sing the fourth tyme._

Pipe Mery Annot. etc. Trilla. Trilla. Trillarie. When Tibet, when Annot, when Margerie. I will not, I can not, no more can I. 75 Then give we all over, and there let it lye. _Lette hir caste downe hir worke._

_Tib. Talk._ There it lieth, the worste is but a curried cote[!][403] Tut I am used therto, I care not a grote.

_An. Alyface._ Have we done singyng since? then will I in againe, Here I founde you, and here I leave both twaine. _Exeat._

_M. Mumbl._ And I will not be long after: Tib Talke apace.

_Tib. Talk._ What is yᵉ matter?

_M. Mumbl._ [_looking at R._]. Yond stode a man al this space And hath hearde all that ever we spake togyther.

_Tib. Talk._ Mary the more loute he for his comming hither. And the lesse good he can to listen maidens talke. 85 I care not and I go byd him hence for to walke: It were well done to knowe what he maketh here away.[404]

_R. Royster_ [_aside_]. Nowe myght I speake to them, if I wist what to say.

_M. Mumbl._ Nay we will go both off, and see what he is.

_R. Royster._ One that hath hearde all your talke and singyng ywis. 90

_Tib. Talk._ The more to blame you, a good thriftie husbande[405] Woulde elsewhere have had some better matters in hande.

_R. Royster._ I dyd it for no harme, but for good love I beare, To your dame mistresse Custance, I did your talke heare. And Mistresse nource I will kisse you for acquaintance. 95

_M. Mumbl._ I come anon sir.

_Tib. Talk._ Faith I would our dame Custance Sawe this geare.

_M. Mumbl._ I must first wipe al cleane, yea I must.

_Tib. Talk._ Ill chieue[406] it dotyng foole, but it must be cust.

[ROYSTER _kisses_ MUMBLECRUST.]

_M. Mumbl._ God yelde[407] you sir, chad[408] not so much ichotte[408] not whan, Nere since chwas bore chwine, of such a gay gentleman. 100

_R. Royster._ I will kisse you too[,] mayden[,] for the good will I beare you. B iv

_Tib Talk._ No forsoth, by your leave ye shall not kisse me.

_R. Royster._ Yes be not afearde, I doe not disdayne you a whit.

_Tib. Talk._ Why shoulde I feare you? I have not so little wit, Ye are but a man I knowe very well. 105

_R. Royster._ Why then?

_Tib. Talk._ Forsooth for I wyll not, I use not to kisse men.

_R. Royster._ I would faine kisse you too good maiden, if I myght.

_Tib. Talk._ What shold that neede?

_R. Royster._ But to honor you by this light. I use to kisse all them that I love[,] to God I vowe.

_Tib. Talk._ Yea sir? I pray you when dyd ye last kisse your cowe.[409] 110

_R. Royster._ Ye might be proude to kisse me, if ye were wise.

_Tib. Talk._ What promotion were therein?

_R. Royster._ Nourse is not so nice.[410]

_Tib. Talk._ Well I have not bene taught to kissing and licking.

_R. Royster._ Yet I thanke you mistresse Nourse, ye made no sticking.

_M. Mumbl._ I will not sticke for a kosse with such a man as you. 115

_Tib. Talk._ They that lust: I will againe to my sewyng now.

_An. Alyfac_[_e_, _re-entering_]. Tidings hough, tidings, dame Custance greeteth you well.

_R. Royster._ Whome me?

_An. Alyface._ You sir? no sir? I do no suche tale tell.

_R. Royster._ But and she knewe me here.

_An. Alyface._ Tybet Talke apace, Your mistresse Custance and mine, must speake with your grace.

_Tib. Talk._ With me?

_An. Alyface._ Ye muste come in to hir out of all doutes.

_Tib. Talk._ And my work not half done? A mischief on all loutes. _Ex_[_eant_] _am_[_bae_.]

_R. Royster._ Ah good sweet nourse[!]

_M. Mumb._ A good sweete gentleman[!]

_R. Royster._ What?

_M. Mumbl._ Nay I can not tel sir, but what thing would you?

_R. Royster._ Howe dothe sweete Custance, my heart of gold, tell me[,] how? 125

_M. Mumbl._ She dothe very well sir, and commaunde me to you.

_R. Royster._ To me?

_M. Mumbl._ Yea to you sir.

_R. Royster._ To me? nurse tel me plain To me?

_M. Mumb._ Ye.

_R. Royster._ That word maketh me alive again.

_M. Mumbl._ She commaunde me to one last day who ere it was.

_R. Royster._ That was een to me and none other by the Masse. 130

_M. Mumbl._ I can not tell you surely, but one it was.

_R. Royster._ It was I and none other: this commeth to good passe. I promise thee nourse I favour hir.

_M. Mumb._ Een so sir.

_R. Royster._ Bid hir sue to me for mariage.

_M. Mumbl._ Een so sir. B iv _b_

_R. Royster._ And surely for thy sake she shall speede. 135

_M. Mumb._ Een so sir.

_R. Royster._ I shall be contented to take hir.

_M. Mumb._ Een so sir.

_R. Royster._ But at thy request and for thy sake.

_M. Mumb._ Een so sir.

_R. Royster._ And come hearke in thine eare what to say.

_M. Mumb._ Een so sir.

_Here lette him tell hir a great long tale in hir eare._[411]

Actus. i. Scæna. iiii.

MATHEW MERYGREEKE. DOBINET DOUGHTIE. HARPAX [_and Musitians entering_]. RALPH ROYSTER. MARGERIE MUMBLECRUST [_still on the scene, whispering_].

_M. Mery._ Come on sirs apace, and quite your selves like men, Your pains shalbe rewarded.

_D. Dou._ But I wot not when.

_M. Mery._ Do your maister worship as ye have done in time past.

_D. Dough._ Speake to them: of mine office he shall have a cast.

_M. Mery._ _Harpax_,[412] looke that thou doe well too, and thy fellow. 5

_Harpax._ I warrant, if he will myne example folowe.

_M. Mery._ Curtsie whooresons, douke you and crouche at every worde,

_D. Dough._ Yes whether our maister speake earnest or borde.

_M. Mery._ For this lieth upon his preferment in deede.

_D. Dough._ Oft is hee a wower, but never doth he speede. 10

_M. Mery._ But with whome is he nowe so sadly roundyng yond?

_D. Dough._ With Nobs nicebecetur miserere[413] fonde.

[_M._] _Mery_ [_approaching R. R._]. God be at your wedding, be ye spedde alredie? I did not suppose that your love was so greedie, I perceive nowe ye have chose[414] of devotion, 15 And joy have ye ladie of your promotion.

_R. Royster._ Tushe foole, thou art deceived, this is not she.

_M. Mery._ Well mocke[415] muche of hir, and keepe hir well I vise[416] ye. I will take no charge of such a faire piece keeping.

_M. Mumbl._ What ayleth thys fellowe? he driveth me to weeping. 20

_M. Mery._ What weepe on the weddyng day? be merrie woman, Though I say it, ye have chose a good gentleman.

_R. Royster._ Kocks nownes[417] what meanest thou man[?] tut a whistle[418][!]

[_M. Mery._][419] Ah sir, be good to hir, she is but a gristle,[420] C i Ah sweete lambe and coney. 25

_R. Royster._ Tut thou art deceived.

_M. Mery._ Weepe no more lady, ye shall be well received. Up wyth some mery noyse sirs, to bring home the bride.[421]

_R. Royster._ Gogs armes knave, art thou madde? I tel thee thou art wide.[422]

_M. Mery._ Then ye entende by nyght to have hir home brought.

_R. Royster._ I tel thee no. 30

_M. Mery._ How then?

_R. Royster._ Tis neither ment ne thought.

_M. Mery._ What shall we then doe with hir?

_R. Royster._ Ah foolish harebraine, This is not she.

_M. Mery._ No is?[423] why then unsayde againe, And what yong girle is this with your mashyp so bolde?

_R. Royster._ A girle?

_M. Mery._ Yea. I dare say, scarce yet three score yere old. 34

_R. Royster._ This same is the faire widowes nourse of whome ye wotte.

_M. Mery._ Is she but a nourse of a house? hence home olde trotte, Hence at once.

_R. Royster._ No, no.

_M. Mery._ What an please your maship A nourse talke so homely[424] with one of your worship?

_R. Royster._ I will have it so: it is my pleasure and will. 39

_M. Mery._ Then I am content. Nourse come againe, tarry still.

_R. Royster._ What, she will helpe forward this my sute for hir part.

_M. Mery._ Then ist mine owne pygs nie,[425] and blessing on my hart.

_R. Royster._ This is our best friend[,] man[!]

_M. Mery._ Then teach hir what to say[!]

_M. Mumbl._ I am taught alreadie.

_M. Mery._ Then go, make no delay.

_R. Royster._ Yet hark one word in thine eare. 45

_M. Mery_ [_Dobinet, etc., press on Royster, who pushes them back_]. Back sirs from his taile.

_R. Royster._ Backe vilaynes, will ye be privie of my counsaile?

_M. Mery._ Backe sirs, so: I tolde you afore ye woulde be shent.

_R. Royster._ She shall have the first day a whole pecke of argent.

_M. Mumbl._ A pecke? _Nomine patris_ [_crossing herself_], have ye so much spare?[426]

_R. Royster._ Yea and a carte lode therto, or else were it bare, 50 Besides other movables, housholde stuffe and lande.

_M. Mumbl._ Have ye lands too.

_R. Royster._ An hundred marks.

_M. Mery._ Yea a thousand.

_M. Mumbl._ And have ye cattell too? and sheepe too?

_R. Royster._ Yea a fewe.

_M. Mery._ He is ashamed the numbre of them to shewe. Een rounde about him, as many thousande sheepe goes, 55 As he and thou and I too, have fingers and toes.

_M. Mumbl._ And how many yeares olde be you?

_R. Royster._ Fortie at lest.

_M. Mery._ Yea and thrice fortie to them. C i _b_

_R. Royster._ Nay now thou dost jest. I am not so olde, thou misreckonest my yeares. 59

_M. Mery._ I know that: but my minde was on bullockes and steeres.

_M. Mumbl._ And what shall I shewe hir your masterships name is?

_R. Royster._ Nay she shall make sute ere she know that ywis.

_M. Mumbl._ Yet let me somewhat knowe.

_M. Mery._ This is hee[,] understand, That killed the blewe Spider[427] in Blanchepouder[428] lande.

_M. Mumbl._ Yea _Jesus_[!] William[!] zee law[!] dyd he zo[?] law[!] 65

_M. Mery._ Yea and the last Elephant[429] that ever he sawe, As the beast passed by, he start out of a buske,[430] And een with pure strength of armes pluckt out his great tuske.

_M. Mumbl._ _Jesus, nomine patris_ [_crossing herself_], what a thing was that?

_R. Roister._ Yea but Merygreke one thing thou hast forgot. 70

_M. Mery._ What?

_R. Royster._ Of thother Elephant.

_M. Mery._ Oh hym that fledde away.

_R. Royster._ Yea.

_M. Mery._ Yea he knew that his match was in place that day Tut, he bet the king of Crickets[431] on Christmasse day, That he crept in a hole, and not a worde to say.

_M. Mumbl._ A sore man by zembletee.[432] 75

_M. Mery._ Why, he wrong a club Once in a fray out of the hande of Belzebub.

_R. Royster._ And how when Mumfision?

_M. Mery._ Oh your coustrelyng[433] Bore the lanterne a fielde so before the gozelyng. Nay that is to long a matter now to be tolde: Never aske his name Nurse, I warrant thee, be bolde, 80 He conquered in one day from _Rome_, to _Naples_, And woonne Townes[,] nourse[,] as fast as thou canst make Apples.

_M. Mumbl._ O Lorde, my heart quaketh for feare: he is to sore.

_R. Royster._ Thou makest hir to much afearde, Merygreeke no more. This tale woulde feare my sweete heart Custance right evill.

_M. Mery._ Nay let hir take him Nurse, and feare not the devill. 86 But thus is our song dasht. [_To the musicians_] Sirs ye may home againe.

_R. Royster._ No shall they not. I charge you all here to remaine: The villaine slaves[!] a whole day ere they can be founde.

_M. Mery._ Couche on your marybones whooresons, down to the ground[!][434] 90 Was it meete he should tarie so long in one place Without harmonie of Musike, or some solace? C ii Who so hath suche bees as your maister in hys head, Had neede to have his spirites with Musike to be fed. By your maisterships licence [_picking something from his coat_].

_R. Royster._ What is that? a moate? 96

_M. Mery._ No it was a fooles feather[435] had light on your coate.

_R. Roister._ I was nigh no feathers since I came from my bed.

_M. Mery._ No sir, it was a haire that was fall from your hed.

_R. Roister._ My men com when it plese them.

_M. Mery._ By your leve.

_R. Roister._ What is that?

_M. Mery._ Your gown was foule spotted with the foot of a gnat. 100

_R. Roister._ Their maister to offende they are nothing afearde. What now?

_M. Mery._ A lousy haire from your masterships beard. _Omnes famul_[_i_].[436] And sir for Nurses sake pardon this one offence. We shall not after this shew the like negligence. 104

_R. Royster._ I pardon you this once, and come sing nere the wurse.

_M. Mery._ How like you the goodnesse of this gentleman[,] nurse?

_M. Mumbl._ God save his maistership that so can his men forgeve, And I wyll heare them sing ere I go, by his leave.

_R. Royster._ Mary and thou shalt wenche, come we two will daunce.

_M. Mumbl._ Nay I will by myne owne selfe foote the song perchaunce.

_R. Royster._ Go to it sirs lustily. 111

_M. Mumbl._ Pipe up a mery note, Let me heare it playde, I will foote it for a grote.

_Cantent._[437]

_R. Royster._ Now nurse take thys same letter here to thy mistresse. And as my trust is in thee plie my businesse.

_M. Mumbl._ It shalbe done[!][438] 115

_M. Mery._ Who made it?

_R. Royster._ I wrote it ech whit.

_M. Mery._ Then nedes it no mending.

_R. Royster._ No, no.

_M. Mery._ No I know your wit. I warrant it wel.