Part 16

FAB. Now, knights, I enter: now my part begins. To end this difference, know, at first I knew What you intended, ere your love took flight From old Mounchensey: you, Sir Arthur Clare, Were minded to have married this sweet beauty To young Frank Jerningham: to cross this match, I us'd some pretty sleights; but I protest Such as but sat upon the skirts of art: No conjurations, nor such weighty spells As tie the soul to their performancy. These for his love, who once was my dear pupil, Have I effected. Now (methinks) 'tis strange That you, being old in wisdom, should thus knit Your forehead on this match; since reason fails, No law can curb the lover's rash attempt; Years, in resisting this, are sadly spent. Smile then upon your daughter and kind son; And let our toil to future ages prove, The Devil of Edmonton did good in love.

SIR ARTH. Well, 'tis in vain to cross thee, Providence: Dear son, I take thee up into my heart; Rise, daughter.

MIL. This is a kind father's part.

HOST. Why, Sir John.[316] send for Spindle's noise[317] presently: Ha! ere't be night, I'll serve the good Duke of Norfolk.

SIR JOHN. Grass and hay! mine host, let's live till we die, and be merry; and there's an end.

SIR ARTH. What, is breakfast ready, mine host?

HOST. 'Tis, my little Hebrew.

SIR ARTH. Sirrah! ride straight to Cheston nunnery, Fetch thence my lady; the house, I know, By this time misses their young votary. Come, knights, let's in.

BIL. I will to horse presently, sir. A plague on my lady, I shall miss a good breakfast. Smug, how chance you cut so plaguely behind, Smug?

SMUG. Stand away, I'll founder you else.

BIL. Farewell, Smug, thou art in another element.

SMUG. I will be by and by; I will be Saint George again.

SIR ARTH. Take heed the fellow do not hurt himself.

SIR RALPH. Did we not last night find two Saint Georges here?

FAB. Yes, knights, this martialist was one of them.

CLARE. Then thus conclude your night of merriment.

[_Exeunt omnes._

FINIS.

RAM-ALLEY

OR

MERRY TRICKS.

_EDITIONS._

(1.) _Ram-Alley: Or Merrie Trickes. A Comedy Divers times here-to-fore acted by the Children of the Kings Reuels. Written by Lo: Barrey. At London Printed by G. Eld, for Robert Wilson, and are to be sold at his shop in Holborne, at the new yate of Grayes-Inne._ 1611. 4.

(2.) _Ram-Alley; Or Merry-Trickes. A Comedy. Divers times here-to-fore acted by the Children of the Kings Revels. Written by Lo. Barrey. London. Printed by John Norton, for Robert Wilson._ 1636. 4.

INTRODUCTION.

Lodowick Barry is said to have been a gentleman of Irish birth, and Anthony Wood is pleased to compliment him with the title of Lord, which is very probably a mistake. No circumstances concerning him remain, not even the times of his birth and death; though the latter was not unlikely to be soon after the publication of the following play, the only one which he wrote. The writer of his article in the "Biographia Dramatica" says that "the plot in this play of William Small-shanks decoying the Widow Taffata into marriage is the same with that in Kiligrew's 'Parson's Wedding,' _and both taken from the 'English Rogue._'" The latter part of this assertion is entirely without foundation, and the least attention to dates would have prevented the writer's falling into so gross an error. Both plays were published before "The English Rogue" appeared; "Ram-Alley"[318] above fifty years; and "The Parson's Wedding" about ten or twelve.

FOOTNOTES:

[235] "Here (_i.e._, at Edmonton) lieth interred vnder a seemlie Tombe without Inscription, the Body of _Peter Fabell_ (as the report goes) vpon whom this fable was fathered, that he by his wittie deuises beguiled the deuil: belike he was some ingenious conceited gentleman, who did vse some sleightie trickes for his owne disports. He liued and died in the raigne of Henry the Seuenth, saith the booke of his merry pranks."--Weever's "Funeral Monuments," fol. 1631, p. 534. Norden says: "There is a fable of one _Peter Fabell_ that lyeth in the same church also, who is saide to have beguiled the Devill by pollicie for Money."--"Speculum Britanniæ" (Middlesex), p. 18.

[236] A monosyllable (perhaps _is_ or _lives_) has dropt out here, and rendered the line imperfect.--_Collier._ [The metre is quite correct.]

[237] So in "Hamlet," act i. sc. 5.

"And each particular hair to stand on end Like quills upon the fretful porcupine."

[238] [Old copies, _or_.]

[239] The measure was injured by the needless insertion of _is_ in this line, not supported by any of the old copies.--_Collier._

[240] The [later] quartos read, _I'll despatch_, &c.--_Collier._

[241] _Safeguards_ are outward petticoats, still worn by the wives of farmers, &c., who ride on horseback to market.--_Steevens._

They are called so, says Minsheu, _voce Saveguard_, because they guard the other clothes from soiling. They are mentioned several times in "The Roaring Girl."

Again, in "Ram Alley," act i. sc. 1.

"On with _your cloak and safeguard_, you arrant drab."

[242] The quartos of 1626 and 1631 read, _Here's a room in the very Homer and Illiads of a lodging_, which may be right.--_Collier._ [Most probably _not._]

[243] [Compare Chappell's "Pop. Music," 8o edit., p. 118.]

[244] _Tartarian_ seems to have been a cant word for a thief. In "The Wandering Jew," 1640, p. 3, the Hangman says, "I pray (Mr Jew) bestow a cast of your office upon me (a poor member of the Law), by telling me my fortune, whether I shall die in my bed or no, or what else shall happen to me; and if any thieving _Tartarian_ shall break in upon you, I will with both hands nimbly lend a cast of my office to him."

[245] Before the use of carpets was introduced into England, it was customary to strew the floors of rooms with rushes. This practice is often mentioned.

So in "Arden of Feversham," 1592--

ALES. In vaine we strive, for here his blood remains. Mos. Why, strew rushes on it, can you not?

Again, in Ben Jonson's "Cynthia's Revels," act ii. sc. 5: "That all the ladies and gallants lye languishing _upon the rushes_, like so many pounded cattle i' the midst of harvest," &c.

And in Dekker's "Bel-man of London," sig. B 4: "The windowes were spread with hearbs, the chimney drest up with greene boughes, and the _floore strewed with bulrushes_, as if some lasse were that morning to be married."

See also Holinshed's "Chronicle," vol. ii. p. 1706, [and compare a passage at p. 177 of present vol.]

[246] So in "The Merchant of Venice" Stephano says of Portia--

"My mistress will before the break of day Be here at Belmont: she doth stray about _By holy crosses, where she kneds and prays_ _For happy wedlock hours"_

[247] In Hertfordshire, now called Cheshunt.

[248] [Old copies, _dogs--simple_, and in the next line, _curs eat_.]

[249] [Old copies, _or--sure_.]

[250] At Cheshunt there was a Benedictine nunnery dedicated to the Virgin Mary. It was founded before the year 1183, and augmented with lands and tenements of the Canons of Cathale, in the twenty-fourth year of King Henry the Third; but yet upon the general dissolution it was valued only at £14, 1s. per annum. See "England Illustrated," 1764, i. 318.

[251] The departure of Sir Arthur and his wife is not mentioned in the old copies.--_Collier._

[252] The line was spoilt by the omission of the repetition of the word _good_ by Mr Reed.--_Collier._

[253] This cant phrase is common in the old plays. Mr Tollet supposes it taken from the Italian _via,_ and to be used on occasions to quicken or pluck up courage. See note to the "Merry Wives of Windsor," act ii. sc. 2. It here [and elsewhere] signifies _away_! So, in "Edward the Third," act ii. sc. 2--

"Then _via_ for the spacious bounds of France."

In Jonson's "Devil is an Ass," act ii. sc. 1--

"Let her go: _Via, pecunia_."

Again, in "Eastward Hoe! "--

"Avaunt. dull flat-cap then! _Via_, the curtain that shadowed Borgia! There lie, thou husk of my envassall'd state."

And in Marston's "What you Will," act ii.--

"Come now, _via,_ aloune to Celia."

See also "Mons. Thomas," act ii. sc. 2.

[254] The first line of Virgil's first "Eclogue."

[255] [A _jeu d'esprit_ allusive to the old Bilboa sword-blades.]

[256] In astronomy, seven stars in the constellation Ursa Minor.

[257] [Old copies, _I will_.]

[258] A quibble alluding to Thomas Cooper's "Thesaurus Linguæ Latinæ," printed in 1548.

[259] Their entrance is not noticed in the quartos, and Mr Reed omitted Millicent.--_Collier._

[260] [Old copies, _by_.]

[261] [Old copies, _We'll--Envil_.]

[262] That is, as Mr Steevens supposes, blind man's buff. See note on "Hamlet," act iii. sc. 4, edit. 1778.

[263] See note to "The Revenger's Tragedy," _suprá_, p. 90.

[264] So the quartos: Mr Dodsley read _pursy_.

[265] See note to "The First Part of Jeronimo," [iv. 374.]

[266] The quartos, without exception, erroneously read _Now_.--_Collier_.

[267] _i.e._, Horses.

[268] _i.e._, Panniers.

[269] Let me understand you. So Falstaff says, "I would your grace _would take me with you_; whom means your grace?"--"First Part of King Henry IV.," act ii. sc. 2, and Dr Johnson's and Dr Farmer's notes.

[270] This is one of the many instances which might be given where a parson is called _Sir_. "Upon which," says Sir John Hawkins, "it may be observed, that anciently it was the common designation both of one in holy orders and a knight." Fuller somewhere in his "Church History" says, that anciently there were in England more _sirs_ than _knights;_ and so lately as temp. William and Mary, in a deposition in the Exchequer, in a case of tithes, the witness, speaking of the curate, whom he remembers, styles him _Sir Gyles_. Vide Gibson's "View of the State of the Churches of Door, Home-Lacey," &c., p. 36. Note to "The Merry Wives of Windsor," act i. sc. 1, edit. 1778.

So in the "New Trick to Cheat the Devil," 1639: "_Sir_ me no _Sirs_; I am no knight nor _Churchman."--Collier_.

[271] This expression is used by Falstaff, in the "Second Part of King Henry IV.," act ii. sc. 1.

[272] Go.

[273] The Host's conversation is wholly made up of puns and quibbles. He means here his hungry guests. [See p. 244.] His address to the smith before, on reading the _little Geneva print_, was [an equivoque on the redness of his eyes from having drunk too much, and the small type in which the Scriptures were printed in the common Genevan version.]

[274] The 4o of 1617 reads _bosonians_; that of 1631, _bonasosis_.

[275] [A play on _shall_ and _shale_ (or shell).] Churchyard, in his "Challenge," 1593, says--

"Thus all with _shall; or shalles ye shal be fed_."

The old editions spell it _shales_, and it is not a very forced construction to suppose that Mounchensey, complaining of Clare's want of faith, uses the word _shalls_ in the sense of _promises_; and this seems to be the real meaning of the quotation from Churchyard.--_Collier._

[276] [Old copies, _the_.]

[277] [Old copies, _shouldst_.]

[278] Knives or daggers. _Skein_ is the [Erse or Highland] word for a knife.

[See a long note in Nares, edit. 1859, art. Skain.]

[279] _i.e._, Go, proceed, succeed. The word is used in Nash's "Lenten Stuff," 1599: "It would not _fadge_, for then the market was raised to three hundred."

Again, in "The Old Law," by Massiuger, &c., act iv. sc. 4--

"Now it begins to _fadge_."

And in the following quotation from Haughton's "Englishmen for my Money," 1616, sig. B--

"But, sirra Ned. what sayes Mathea to thee Wilt _fadge?_ wilt _fadge?_ what, will it be a match?"--_Collier._

[280] Old copies, _where_.

[281] [Old copies, _their smocks_]

[282] [Old copies, _Our_.]

[283] [Old copies, _be no_.]

[284] [Old copies, _all_.]

[285] The older copies made this speech part of what was said by Harry Clare, and the edition of 1655 first introduced the correction.--_Collier._

[286] "The little bell which is rung to give notice of the _Host_ approaching, when it is carried in procession, as also in other offices of the Romish Church, is called the _sacring_ or _consecration_ bell, from the French word _sacrer_,"--Mr Theobald's note to "Henry VIII.," act iii. sc. 2.

[287] [Former eds., _tell_.]

[288] This Popish ceremony is particularly described in an ancient book of the "Ceremonial of the Kings of England," purchased by the Duchess of Northumberland, at the sale of the MSS. of Mr Anstis, Garter King-at-arms. It appears from this curious treatise that the Bishop and the Dean brought a crucifix out of the vestry, and placed it on a cushion before the altar. A carpet was then laid "for the Kinge to _creepe to the crosse_ upon." See Dr Percy's note to the "Northumberland Household Book," p. 436.--_Steevens._

_Creeping to the Cross_ is mentioned in Warner's "Albion's England," 1602, p. 115--

"We offer tapers, pay our tythes and vowes; we pilgrims goe To every sainct, at every shrine we offerings doe bestow; We kiss the pix, we _creepe the crosse,_ oar beades we over-runne, The convent hath a legacie, who so is left undone."

[See also "Pop. Antiq. of Great Brit." i. 86.]

[289] The copies of 1626 and 1631 read, _Well now, Frank Clare, how say'st thou?_ which is clearly wrong: the error was corrected in the reprint of 1655, to which Mr Reed was again indebted.--_Collier._

[290] [Old copies, _maimed_.]

[291] [Old copies, _that_.]

[292] [A figure borrowed from archery.]

[293] [Edits., _masse_.]

[294] In all the copies _Holy maidens_ is made, absurdly enough, part of the stage direction.--_Collier._

[295] Monks and nuns always changed their names when they entered into the religious houses.--_Pegge._

[296] Every copy mentions Fabel as entering at this time, and just afterwards he speaks; but Mr Reed by some accident omitted his name in the proper place.--_Collier._

[297] _Lippit_. But see Nares, 1859, _v._ Tippet.

[298] Mr Reed was again indebted to the "unworthy" copy of 1655 for the introduction of the name of Harry instead of Ralph, as it is found in the previous editions.--_Collier._

[299] Instances of this word, which means almost the same as _scramble_, are given in a note on Shakespeare's "King Henry V.," sc. 1, edit. 1778.--_Steevens._

[300] Hungarian was a cant term then frequently in use. See Mr Steevens's note on "The Merry Wives of Windsor," act i. sc. 3. Mr Tollet ohserves that "the _Hungarians_, when infidels, overran Germany and France, and would have invaded England if they could have come to it. See Stowe in the year 930, and Holinshed's 'Invasions of Ireland,' p. 56. Hence their name might become a proverb of baseness." [Compare p. 227 _ante_.]

[301] The &c., means, of course, that Sir John repeats his old saying--"We are all mortal; we'll live till we die, and be merry, and there's an end."--_Collier._

[302] _Curfew_ is derived from two French words, _couvrir_, _i.e._, _tegere_, and _feu_, _i.e._, _ignis_. William the Conqueror, in the first year of his reign, commanded that in every town and village a bell should be rung every night at eight o'clock, and that all people should put out their fire and candle and go to bed. The ringing of a bell in the evening is in many places till called ringing the Curfew Bell.

[303] [Compare "Old English Jest Books," i. 31.]

[304] See note to "Grim the Collier of Croydon," [vii. 426.]

[305] [A nautical term for tacking about. See Halliwell's "Dict.," in v.]

[306] The edits., of 1617, 1626, 1631, call them Sir _Ralph_ Clare and Sir _Arthur_ Jerningham.--_Collier._

[307] Forbid, prevent.

[308] Probably we ought to read, _Now bear with me_.--_Collier_. This is hardly satisfactory, yet the true reading is difficult to guess at.

[309] [Edits., _speak_.]

[310] [Edits., _Jenert's bank_, which Steevens defends and explains. Mine Host, it should be observed, talks much at random; but surely _Jenert's bank_ is rank nonsense.]

"I once suspected this passage of corruption, but have found reason to change my opinion. The merry Host seems willing to assemble ideas expressive of _trust and confidence_. The old quartos begin the word _jenert_ with a capital letter, and therefore we may suppose _Jenert's bank_ to have been the shop of some banker, in whose possession money could be deposited with security. The Irish still say, as sure as _Burton's Bank_; and our own countrymen, as safe as the _Bank of England_. We might read my _house_, instead of my _horse_, as the former agrees better with _castle_. The services of a _horse_ are of all things the most uncertain."--_Steevens._

[311] _i.e._, Of a disease peculiar to horses. So in Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew"--

"His horse sped with spavins, rayed with the _yellows_."

--_Steevens._ [See Dyce's Shakesp. Gloss. in v.]

[312] Edits., _manger_.

[313] [Tobacco.]

[314] See note to "The Spanish Tragedy," [v. 31].

[315] Misprinted _Fabian_ in edits. 1626, 1631, but corrected in that of 1655.

[316] [Former edits., _Sir George_.]

[317] [A band of fiddlers.] See a long note to "The Ordinary," act iv., sc. 1 (vol. xii.)

[318] There are, as will be seen opposite, two editions of "Ram-Alley," the first in 1611, and the other in 1636; the latter printed from the former with a number of additional errors. From the more corrupt of the two copies this play has been, hitherto reprinted, without any comparison of the two; they have now for the first time been accurately collated, and in many instances the correct reading has been restored.--_Collier._ [A few trifling corrections were introduced by Mr Collier, but the most serious corruptions and errors were overlooked, and all the faulty pointing retained. Such is the case with all the plays.

"Ram-Alley" may be characterised as a strongly-written and well-constructed domestic drama, valuable as a social monument of the times, and interesting as the author's only known production. But it is full of gross passages, allusions, and innuendoes. In "The Return from Parnassus," 1606 (ix. 117), occurs the phrase "Ram-Alley meditations," the saying having become proverbial, perhaps, for ruffianly language, as the locality was, no doubt, notorious for its bad characters.]

ACTORUM NOMINA

SIR OLIVER SMALL-SHANKS. JUSTICE TUTCHIN. THOMAS SMALL-SHANKS. WILLIAM SMALL-SHANKS. BOUTCHER. LIEUTENANT BEARD. THROAT. CAPTAIN FACE.[319] DASH. THREE GENTLEMEN. A DRAWER. CONSTABLE _and_ OFFICERS.

WOMEN.

LADY SOMMERFIELD. CONSTANTIA SOMMERFIELD. FRANCES. TAFFATA. ADRIANA. CHAMBERMAID.

FOOTNOTES:

[319] This character is sometimes called Captain _Face_ and sometimes Captain _Puff_ in the body of the play, and probably the former is according to the intention of the author, as it so stands in the _Dramatis Personæ_, and as he is spoken of by the widow Taffata as Captain Face. Ben Jonson names the housekeeper in his Alchymist _Face_.--_Collier._

PROLOGUE.

Home-bred mirth our Muse doth sing; The satyr's tooth and waspish sting, Which most do hurt, when least suspected, By this play are not affected. But if conceit with quick-turn'd scenes, Observing all those ancient streams, Which from the Horse-foot fount do flow,[320] As time, place, person: and to show Things never done with that true life, That thoughts and wits should stand at strife. Whether the things now shown be true, Or whether we ourselves now do The tilings we but present: if these, Free from the loathsome stage disease, (So overworn, so tir'd and stale, Not satirising but to rail) May win your favours, and inherit But calm acceptance for his merit: He vows by Paper, Pen, and Ink, And by the learned Sisters' drink, To spend his time, his lamps, his oil, And never cease his brain to toil, Till from the silent hours of night He doth produce for your delight Conceits so new, so harmless free, That Puritans themselves may see A play, yet not in public preach, That players such lewd doctrine teach, That their pure joints do quake and tremble, When they do see a man resemble The picture of a villain: this, As he a friend to Muses is, To you by me he gives his word; Is all his play doth now afford.

FOOTNOTES:

[320] [Hippocrene.]

RAM-ALLEY[321]; OR, MERRY TRICKS.

ACTUS I, SCÆNA 1.

_Enter_ CONSTANTIA _sola, with a letter in her hand_.

CON. In this disguise, ere scarce my mourning robes Could have a general note, I have forsook My shape, my mother, and those rich demesnes, Of which I am sole heir; and now resolve In this disguise of page to follow him, Whose love first caus'd me to assume this shape. Lord, how my feminine blood stirs at the sight Of these same breeches! methinks this codpiece[322] Should betray me: well, I will try the worst. Hither they say he usually doth come, Whom I so much affect: what makes he here? In the skirts of Holborn, so near the field, And at a garden-house? he has some punk Upon my life! No more: here he comes.

_Enter_ BOUTCHER.

God save you, sir: your name, unless I err, Is Master Thomas Boutcher.

BOUT. 'Tis, sweet boy.

CON. I have a letter for you.

[CONSTANTIA _delivers the letter; he reads it_.

BOUT. From whom is't?

CON. The inside, sir, will tell you; I shall see What love he bears me now. [_Aside._

BOUT. Th' art welcome, boy. How does the fair Constantia Sommerfield, Thy[323] noble mistress?

CON. I left her in health.

BOUT. She gives thee here good words; and for her sake Thou shalt not want a master: be mine for ever.

CON. I thank you, sir. Now shall I see the punk.

[_He knocks._

_Enter_ WILLIAM SMALL-SHANKS.

W. SMALL. Who knocks so fast? I thought 'twas you; what news?

BOUT. You know my business well; I sing one song.

W. SMALL. 'Sfoot, what would you have me do? my land is gone, My credit of less trust than courtiers' words To men of judgment; and for my debts I might deserve a knighthood:[324] what's to be done? The knight my father will not once vouchsafe To call me son: that little land he gave, Throat the lawyer swallowed at one gob For less than half the worth; and for the city There be so many rascals and tall yeomen, Would hang upon me for their maintenance, Should I but peep or step within the gates, That I am forc'd, only to ease my charge, To live here in the suburbs; or in the town To walk _in tenebris_. I tell you, sir, Your best retired life is an honest punk In a thatch'd house with garlic: tell not me: My punk's my punk, and noble lechery Sticks by a man when all his friends forsake him.

BOUT. The pox, it will: art thou so senseless grown, So much endeared to thy bestial lust, That thy original worth should lie extinct And buried in thy shame? Far be such thoughts From spirits free and noble! Begin to live: Know thyself, and whence thou art deriv'd. I know that competent state thy father gave Cannot be yet consum'd.

W. SMALL. 'Tis gone, by heaven! Not a denier is left.

BOUT. 'Tis impossible.

W. SMALL. Impossible! s'heart! I have had two suckers Able to spend the wealthy Croesus' store.

_Enter_ FRANCES.

BOUT. What are they?

W. SMALL. Why, a lawyer and a whore: See, here comes one. Dost think this petticoat, A perfum'd smock, and twice a week a bath, Can be maintain'd with half a year's revenues? No, by heaven! we annual younger brothers Must go to't by wholesale; by wholesale, man,[325] These creatures are maintained: her very face Has cost a hundred pounds.

FRAN. Sir, thank yourself. [_Coming forward._

CON. They keep this whore betwixt them. [_Aside._