Part 18
Not at all; we must act only as if it were nothing remarkable that I should wish to wear boots; one gets used to everything.
GOTTLIEB.
Yes, indeed; why, my conversation with you has actually become quite easy! But another thing; now that we have become such good friends, do call me by my first name, too; why do you still want to stand on ceremony with me?
HINZE.
As you like, Gottlieb.
GOTTLIEB.
There's the shoemaker passing. Hey! Pst! Friend Leichdorn! Will you please stop a moment?
[_The shoemaker comes in_.]
SHOEMAK.
God bless you! What's the news?
GOTTLIEB.
I have ordered no work from you for a long time.
SHOEMAK.
No, my friend, all in all, I have very little to do now.
GOTTLIEB.
I should like to have another pair of boots made--
SHOEMAK.
Please take a seat. I have a measure with me.
GOTTLIEB.
Not for myself, but for my young friend there.
SHOEMAK.
For this one here? Very well.
HINZE (_sits on a chair and holds out his right leg_).
SHOEMAK.
Now how should you like it, pussy?
HINZE.
In the first place, good soles, then brown flaps, and, above all things, stiff.
SHOEMAK.
Very well. (_He takes the measure_.) Will you be so kind as to draw your claws in a bit--or rather nails? I have already scratched myself. (_He takes the measure_.)
HINZE.
And they must be finished quickly. (_As his leg is being stroked he begins to purr involuntarily_.)
SHOEMAK.
The pussy is comfortable.
GOTTLIEB.
Yes, he's a good-humored fellow. He has just come from school, what they usually call a "smarty."
SHOEMAK.
Well, good-bye.
[_Exit_.]
GOTTLIEB.
Wouldn't you perhaps like to have your whiskers trimmed too?
HINZE.
On no account, I look so much more respectable, and you certainly must know that cats immediately become unmanly after that. A tom-cat without whiskers is but a contemptible creature.
GOTTLIEB.
If I only knew what you are planning!
HINZE.
You'll find out in due time. Now I want to take a little walk on the roofs; there's a fine, open view there and you're likely to catch a dove too.
GOTTLIEB.
As a good friend, I want to warn you not to let yourself be caught at it.
HINZE.
Don't worry, I'm not a novice. Meanwhile, good-bye.
[_Exit_.]
GOTTLIEB (_alone_).
Natural history always says that cats cannot be trusted and that they belong to the lion family, and I am in such fearful dread of a lion. Now if the cat had no conscience, he could run away from me afterward with the boots for which I must now give my last penny and then sell them somewhere for nothing, or it's possible that he wants to make a bid for favor with the shoemaker and then go into his service. But he has a tom-cat already. No, Hinze, my brothers have betrayed me, and now I will try my luck with you. He spoke so nobly, he was so touched--there he sits on the roof yonder, stroking his whiskers--forgive me, my fine friend, that I could even for a moment doubt your magnanimity.
[_Exit_.]
FISCHER.
What nonsense!
MÜLLER.
What does the cat need those boots for?--to be able to walk better? Silly stuff!
SCHLOSS.
But it seems as though I saw a cat before me.
LEUTNER.
Be still, the scene is changing.
_Hall in the royal palace_
_The_ KING _with crown and sceptre. The_ PRINCESS, _his daughter_
KING.
A thousand handsome princes, my precious daughter, have already sued for your hand and laid their kingdoms at your feet, but you have continued to refuse them. Tell us the reason for this, my treasure.
PRINCESS.
My most gracious father, I have always believed that my heart must first feel certain emotions before my neck would bow under the yoke of marriage. For a marriage without love, they say, is truly hell upon earth.
KING.
That is right, my dear daughter. Ah, indeed, indeed, have you spoken words of truth: a hell on earth! Alas, if only I were not qualified to discuss it! Indeed I should have preferred to remain ignorant! But as it is, dear treasure, I have my tale to tell, as they say. Your mother, my consort of blessed memory--ah, Princess, see, the tears rush to my eyes even in my old age--she was a good queen, she wore the crown with an indescribable air of majesty--but she gave me very little peace. Well, may her ashes rest in peace among her royal relatives.
PRINCESS.
Your majesty excites yourself too much.
KING.
When the memory of it returns to me, O my child, on my knees I would entreat you--do be careful in marrying! It is a great truth that linen and a bridegroom must not be bought by candle-light, a truth which should be found in every book. What did I suffer! No day passed without a quarrel; I could not sleep peacefully, could not conduct my administrative business quietly, I could not think of anything, could not read a book--I was always interrupted. And still my spirit sometimes yearns for you, my blessed Klothilde! My eyes smart--I am a real old fool.
PRINCESS (_tenderly_).
My father!
KING.
I tremble to think of the dangers that face you, for, even if you do fall in love now, my daughter, ah! you should just see what thick books wise men have filled on this subject--see, your very passion, then, can also make you miserable. The happiest, the most blissful emotion can ruin us; moreover, love is, as it were, a magic cup; instead of nectar we often drink poison; then our pillow is wet with tears; all hope, all consolation are gone. (_The sound of a trumpet is heard_.) Why, it isn't dinner-time yet, is it? Probably another new prince who wants to fall in love with you. Take care, my daughter; you are my only child, and you do not realize how near my heart your happiness lies. (_He kisses her and leaves the hall. Applause is heard in the pit_.)
FISCHER.
That's a scene for you, in which you can find sound common sense.
SCHLOSS.
I am also moved.
MÜLLER.
He's an excellent sovereign.
FISCHER.
Now he didn't exactly have to appear with a crown.
SCHLOSS.
It entirely spoils the sympathy one feels for him as an affectionate father.
THE PRINCESS (_alone_).
I do not understand at all; why, not one of the princes has yet touched my heart with love. I always keep in mind my father's warnings; he is a great sovereign and nevertheless a good father too, and is always thinking of my happiness; if only he did not have such a hasty temper! But fortune and misfortune are always coupled thus. My joy I find in the arts and sciences, for books constitute all my happiness.
_The_ PRINCESS, LEANDER, _the court scholar_.
LEANDER.
Well, your Royal Highness! (_They sit down_.)
PRINCESS.
Here. Master Leander, is my essay. I have entitled it _Thoughts at Night_.
LEANDER (_reads_).
Excellent! Inspired! Ah! I feel as though I hear the hour of midnight striking. When did you write it?
PRINCESS.
Yesterday noon, after dinner.
LEANDER.
Beautifully conceived! Truly, beautifully conceived! But with your most gracious permission! _The moon shines sadly down in the world._ If you will not take it amiss, it should read: _into the world_.
PRINCESS.
Very well, I will note that for the future; it's too stupid that poetry should be made so hard for us; one can't write five or six lines without making a mistake.
LEANDER.
That's the obstinacy of language, so to speak.
PRINCESS.
Are not the emotions tenderly and delicately phrased!
LEANDER.
Indescribably! It is scarcely comprehensible how a feminine mind could write such a thing.
PRINCESS.
Now I might try my hand at moonlight descriptions. Don't you think so?
LEANDER.
Naturally you keep going farther all the time; you keep rising higher.
PRINCESS.
I have also begun a piece: _The Unhappy Misanthrope; or, Lost Peace and Restored Innocence!_
LEANDER.
Even the title itself is fascinating.
PRINCESS.
And then I feel an incomprehensible desire within me to write some horrible ghost story. As I said before, if it were not for those grammatical errors!
LEANDER.
Do not worry about that, incomparable princess! They are easily corrected.
[_Groom from the Chamber enters._]
GROOM.
The Prince of Malsinki, who has just arrived, wishes to wait on your royal highness.
[_Exit._]
LEANDER.
Your obedient servant.
[_Exit._]
_Prince_ NATHANIEL _of Malsinki. The_ KING
KING.
Here, Prince, is my daughter, a young, simple creature, as you see her before you. (_Aside._) Be polite, my daughter, courteous; he is an illustrious prince from afar; his country is not even on my map, I have already looked it up; I have an amazing amount of respect for him.
PRINCESS.
I am glad to have the pleasure of making your acquaintance.
NATHAN.
Beautiful Princess, the report of your beauty has been spread so widely over the whole world that I have come here from a far distant corner for the happiness of seeing you face to face.
KING.
Indeed it is astonishing, how many countries and kingdoms there are! You would not believe how many thousand crown-princes have been here already, to pay their addresses to my daughter; sometimes they arrive by dozens, especially when the weather is fine--and now you have come all the way from--I beg your pardon, topography is such a very extensive subject--in what region does your country lie?
NATHAN.
Mighty king, if you travel from here first down the great highway, then you turn to the right and go on; but when you reach a mountain, turn to the left again, then you go to the ocean and sail directly north (if the wind is favorable, of course), and so, if the journey is successful, you reach my dominions in a year and a half.
KING.
The deuce! I must have my court scholar explain that to me. You are probably a neighbor of the North Pole or Zodiac, or something like that, I suppose!
NATHAN.
Not that I know of.
KING.
Perhaps somewhere near the savages?
NATHAN.
I beg your pardon, all my subjects are very tame.
KING.
But you must live confoundedly far away. I can't get a clear idea of it yet.
NATHAN.
The geography of my country is still not exactly fixed; I expect to discover more every day; and then it may easily come about that we shall even become neighbors in the end.
KING.
That will be splendid! And if, after all, a few countries still stand in our way, I will help you in your discoveries. My neighbor is not a good friend of mine, so to speak, and he has a fine country; all the raisins come from there; why, I should be only too glad to have it! But another thing; do tell me, how, living so far away, can you speak our language so fluently!
NATHAN.
Hush!
KING.
What?
NATHAN.
Hush! hush!
KING.
I do not understand.
NATHANIEL, (_softly to him_).
Do be quiet about it, pray, for otherwise the audience down there will surely notice that it is really very unnatural.
KING.
It doesn't matter. They clapped before and so I can afford to take a chance.
NATHAN.
You see, it is only for the sake of the drama that I speak your language; for otherwise, of course, the matter is incomprehensible.
KING.
Ah, so! Well, come, Prince, the table is set!
[_The_ PRINCE _escorts the princess out, the_ KING _precedes_.]
FISCHER.
Cursed improbabilities there are in this play!
SCHLOSS.
And the king doesn't remain at all true to his character.
LEUTNER.
Why, nothing but the natural should ever be presented on the stage! The prince should speak an altogether unknown language and have an interpreter with him; the princess should make grammatical errors, since she herself admits that she writes incorrectly.
MÜLLER.
Of course! Of course! The whole thing is unquestionable nonsense; the author himself is always forgetting what he has said the moment before.
_The scene is laid in front of a tavern._
LORENZ, KUNZ, MICHEL _are sitting on a bench. The_ HOST
LORENZ.
I shall have to be going again soon! I still have a long way home.
HOST.
You are a subject of the king, aren't you?
LORENZ.
Yes, indeed; what do you call your good ruler?
HOST.
He is just called Bugbear.
LORENZ.
That is a foolish title. Why, has he no other name?
HOST.
When he has edicts issued, they always read: For the good of the public, the _Law_ demands--hence I believe that is his real name. All petitions, too, are always laid before the _Law_. He is a fearful man.
LORENZ.
Still, I should rather be under a king; why, a king is more dignified. They say the Bugbear is a very ungracious master.
HOST.
He is not especially gracious, that is true of course, but, on the other hand, he is justice itself. Cases are even sent to him from abroad and he must settle them.
LORENZ.
They say wonderful things about him; the story goes he can transform himself into any animal.
HOST.
It is true, and then he travels around _incognito_ and spies out the sentiments of his subjects; that's the very reason why we trust no cat, no strange dog or horse, because we always think the ruler might probably be inside of them.
LORENZ.
Then surely we are in a better position, too. Our king never goes out without wearing his crown, his cloak, and his sceptre; by these, he is known three hundred paces away. Well, take care of yourselves.
[_Exit._]
HOST.
Now he is already in his own country.
KUNZ.
Is the border line so near?
HOST.
Surely, that very tree belongs to the king; you can see from this very spot everything that goes on in his country; this border line here is a lucky thing for me. I should have been bankrupt long ago if the deserters from over there had not supported me; almost every day several come.
MICHEL.
Is the service there so hard?
HOST.
Not that; but running away is so easy, and just because it is so strictly forbidden the fellows get such an exceptional desire to desert. Look, I bet that's another one coming!
[_A soldier comes running._]
SOLDIER.
A can of beer, host! Quick!
HOST.
Who are you?
SOLDIER.
A deserter.
MICHEL.
Perhaps 'twas his love for his parents which made him desert. Poor fellow, do take pity on him, host.
HOST.
Why if he has money, there won't be any lack of beer. (_Goes into the house_.)
[_Two hussars come riding and dismount_.]
1ST HUSS.
Well, thank God, we've got so far! Your health, neighbor!
SOLDIER.
This is the border.
2D HUSS.
Yes, Heaven be thanked! Didn't we have to ride for the sake of that fellow? Beer, host!
HOST (_with several glasses_).
Here, gentlemen, a fine, cool drink; you are all pretty warm.
1ST HUSS.
Here, you rascal! To your health!
SOLDIER.
Best thanks, I will meantime hold your horses for you.
2D HUSS.
The fellow can run! It's good that the border is never so very far away; for otherwise it would be deucedly hard service.
1ST HUSS.
Well, we must go back, I suppose. Good-bye, deserter! Much luck on your way!
[_They mount and ride away_.]
HOST.
Will you stay here?
SOLDIER.
No, I am going away; why I must enlist with the neighboring duke.
HOST.
Say, come and see me when you desert again.
SOLDIER.
Certainly. Farewell!
[_They shake hands. Exeunt soldier and guests, exit host into the house. The curtain falls_.]
INTERLUDE
FISCHER.
Why, it's getting wilder and wilder! What was the purpose of the last scene, I wonder?
LEUTNER.
Nothing at all, it is entirely superfluous; only to introduce some new nonsense. The theme of the cat is now lost entirely and there is no fixed point of view at all.
SCHLOSS.
I feel exactly as though I were intoxicated.
MÜLLER.
I say, in what period is the play supposed to be taking place? The hussars, of course, are a recent invention.
SCHLOSS.
We simply shouldn't bear it, but stamp hard. Now we haven't the faintest idea of what the play is coming to.
FISCHER.
And no love, either! Nothing in it for the heart, for the imagination.
LEUTNER.
As soon as any more of that nonsense occurs, for my part at least, I'll begin to stamp.
WIESENER (_to his neighbor_).
I like the play now.
NEIGHBOR.
Very fine, indeed, very fine; a great man, the author; he has imitated the _Magic Flute_ well.
WIESENER.
I liked the hussars particularly well; people seldom take the risk of bringing horses on the stage--and why not? They often have more sense than human beings. I would rather see a good horse than many a human being in the more modern plays.
NEIGHBOR.
The Moors in Kotzebue--a horse is after all nothing but another kind of Moor.
WIESENER.
Do you not know to what regiment the hussars belonged
NEIGHBOR.
I did not even look at them carefully. Too bad they went away so soon--indeed I'd rather like to see a whole play with nothing but hussars. I like the cavalry so much.
LEUTNER (_to_ BÖTTICHER).
What do you think of all this?
BÖTTICH.
Why, I simply can't get the excellent acting of the man who plays the cat out of my head. What a study! What art! What observation! What costuming!
SCHLOSS.
That is true; he really does look like a large tom-cat.
BÖTTICH.
And just notice his whole mask, as I would rather call his costume, for since he has so completely disguised his natural appearance, this expression is far more fitting. But I say, God bless the ancients when blessing is due. You probably do not know that the ancients acted all parts, without exception, in masks, as you will find in _Athenaeus, Pollux_ and others. It is hard, you see, to know all these things so accurately, because one must now and then look up those books oneself to find them. At the same time, however, one then has the advantage of being able to quote them. There is a difficult passage in Pausanias.
FISCHER.
You were going to be kind enough to speak of the cat.
BÖTTICH.
Why, yes; and I only meant to say all the preceding by the way, hence I beg you most earnestly to consider it as a note; and, to return to the cat, have you noticed, I wonder, that he is not one of those black cats? No, on the contrary, he is almost entirely white and has only a few black spots; that expresses his good-nature excellently; moreover, the theme of the whole play, all the emotions to which it should appeal, are suggested in this very fur.
LEUTNER.
That is true.
FISCHER.
The curtain is going up again!
ACT II
_Room in a peasant's house_
GOTTLIEB, HINZE. _Both are sitting at a small table and eating_.
GOTTLIEB.
Did it taste good?
HINZE.
Very good, very fine.
GOTTLIEB.
But now my fate must soon be determined, for otherwise I do not know what I am to do.
HINZE.
Just have patience a few days longer; why, good fortune must have some time to grow; who would expect to become happy all of a sudden, so to speak? My good man, that happens only in books; in the world of reality things do not move so quickly.
FISCHER.
Now just listen, the cat dares to speak of the world of reality! I feel almost like going home, for I'm afraid I shall go mad.
LEUTNER.
It looks almost as if that is what the writer intended.
MÜLLER.
A splendid kind of artistic enjoyment, to be mad, I must admit!
GOTTLIEB.
If I only knew, dear Hinze, how you have come by this amount of experience, this intelligence!
HINZE.
Are you, then, under the impression that it is in vain one lies for days at the stove with one's eyes tight shut? I always kept studying there quietly. In secret and unobserved does the power of the intelligence grow; hence it is a sign that one has made the least progress when one sometimes has a mind to crane one's neck around as far as possible, so as to look back at the ground one has already covered. Now do be kind enough to untie my napkin.
GOTTLIEB (_does it_).
A blessing on good food! (_They kiss._) Content yourself with that.
HINZE.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
GOTTLIEB.
The boots fit very nicely, and you have a charming little foot.
HINZE.
That is only because we always walk on our toes, as you must already have read in your natural history.
GOTTLIEB.
I have great respect for you--on account of the boots.
HINZE (_hangs a soldier's knapsack about his neck_).
I am going now. See, I have also made myself a bag with a drawing-string.
GOTTLIEB.
What's it all for?
HINZE.
Just let me alone! I want to be a hunter. Why, where is my cane?
GOTTLIEB.
Here.
HINZE.
Well, then, good-bye.
[_Exit._]
GOTTLIEB.
A hunter? I can't understand the man.
[_Exit._]
_Open Field_
HINZE (_with cane, knapsack, and bag_).
Splendid weather! It's such a beautiful, warm day; afterward I must lie down a bit in the sun. (_He spreads out his bag._) Well, fortune, stand by me. Of course, when I think that this capricious goddess of fortune so seldom favors shrewdly laid plans, that she always ends up by disgracing the intelligence of mortals, I feel as though I should lose all my courage. Yet, be quiet, my heart; a kingdom is certainly worth the trouble of working and sweating some for it! If only there are no dogs around here; I can't bear those creatures at all; it is a race that I despise because they so willingly submit to the lowest servitude to human beings. They can't do anything but either fawn or bite; they haven't fashionable manners at all, a thing which is so necessary in company. There's no game to be caught. (_He begins to sing a hunting song: "I steal through the woods so still and wild," etc. A nightingale in the bush near-by begins to sing._) She sings gloriously, the songstress of the grove; but how delicious she must taste! The great people of the earth are, after all, right lucky in the fact that they can eat as many nightingales and larks as they like; we poor common people must content ourselves with their singing, with the beauty in nature, with the incomprehensibly sweet harmony. It's a shame I can't hear anything sing without getting a desire to eat it. Nature! Nature! Why do you always destroy my finest emotions by having created me thus! I feel almost like taking off my boots and softly climbing up that tree yonder; she must be perching there. (_Stamping in the pit._) The nightingale is good-natured not to let herself be interrupted even by this martial music; she must taste delicious; I am forgetting all about my hunting with these sweet dreams. Truly, there's no game to be caught. Why, who's there?
[_Two lovers enter._]
HE.
I say, my sweet life, do you hear the nightingale?
SHE.
I am not deaf, my good friend.
HE.
How my heart overflows with joyousness when I see all harmonious nature thus gathered about me, when every tone but reëchoes the confession of my love, when all heaven bows down to diffuse its ether over me.
SHE.
You are raving, my dear!
HE.
Do not call the most natural emotions of my heart raving. (_He kneels down._) See, I swear to you, here in the presence of glad heaven--
HINZE (_approaching them courteously_).