Part 7
One evening when the full grown man and wife were out at an affair, wifie began performing her conversational ledger-de-main on a stranger who appeared to listen to her with great patience. The stranger was a man who had been twenty years in business, and had lately accepted a Civil Service position--with thanks.
The stranger knew the full grown man. He made him tired. So when wifie said that the Civil Service was only a bread and butter mill, he said in reply: “Madam, it seems to me very unlikely that a man who can make jam for his bread outside the service would content himself with bread and butter for twenty years.”
And wifie fell dead, and the next month the full grown man was superannuated on “nothing” per year, and a school girl put in his place.
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_Moral_--Never crowd your luck.
[Illustration]
It costs money to appear to be somebody in particular.
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’Tis folly to be superfluously honest, but do your stealing with discretion.
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Any fool can separate himself from money, but no fool can connect himself with ten thousand a year without a concatenation of fortuitous circumstances.
JAKE’S WISH
Two Hebrew gents named Mose and Jake once took a little walk To gaze upon the scenery and have a little talk. Both were lean and hungry, poor and shabby unto rags; But both were full determined to climb life’s rocky crags. They talked about their hopes, their fears and wealthy dreams, As folks do sometimes who have known dire poverty’s extremes. And then they fell to wishing, a foolish thing to do; But innocent and pleasing, and it costs so little, too. Jake wished this and Moses that; for wealth of various kinds; Diamonds, gold, and precious things, according to their minds; When, as a mountain came in view, Jake had a great big think, And voiced a wish so mighty it made meek Moses blink. Said he, “See, Mose, dot great big hill piled up so mighty grand; I vish dat it vass solid gold, and in the hollow of my hand; All mine to do vith as I vould, then I’d buy power and place; Kings would come and bow to me, for I would be the ACE.” “Oh! s’elp me,” cried out Moses, between a gasp and groan, “If dat vas true, vould you giff me some?” Said Jake, “GET A VISH OF YER OWN.”
[Illustration]
No man can live up to his own ideal let alone that of his wife.
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It is better to be a live Civil Servant than a dead Governor-General.
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Merit is a useful thing to have in connection with a pull, but it is not necessary.
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A High Salary is an imaginary sum of money; such a thing does not exist in fact.
LOWE-MARTIN, PRINT., OTTAWA
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Transcriber’s note
Minor punctuation errors have been changed without notice. Hyphenation has been standardized. Spelling has been retained as in the original except for the following:
Page 10: “poeple as his pa” “people as his pa” Page 30: “Suffragete who wants to” “Suffragette who wants to” Page 33: “It it weren’t within” “If it weren’t within” Page 48: “(We have’nt come to” “(We haven’t come to” Page 56: “In their litle way” “In their little way”