Part 2
Bill, yuh promised us a Christmas tree!
PETE
An’ we knowed yuh’d get us one!
ANNIE
Yuh said yuh was gonna get one, didn’t yuh, Bill?
MAGGIE
So we folleyed yuh all de way—
PETE
Yuh couldn’t lose _us_, Bill!
ANNIE
Not on yer life!
PETE
We wanted dat tree!
T’EODORE
[_A grand climax._]
An’ here it is!
[_There is a chorus of delighted screams as the children surround the tree._]
BESSIE
Bill, what a peach of a tree!
PETE
Some tree!
ANNIE
Lookit de presents!
T’EODORE
Golly, lookit de presents!
MAGGIE
See de boo-ful tree, baby?
[_She makes the baby clap its hands._]
DAVID
[_Puzzled, as the children, shrilling their delight, descend upon the gifts._]
Say, Santa Claus, I didn’t know you had a family.
SLIM
[_With infinite disgust._]
Kid, yuh said a mout’ful!
DAVID
Are they all related to you?
BILL
[_Not too modestly._]
Me eight brudders an’ sisters—count ’em. Bessie—an’ Pete—dey’re twins. An’ Maggie—dat’s her holdin’ de baby—an’ T’eodore—an’ Annie—an’ Grover—an’ Woodrow—an’ Calvin—dat’s de baby.
DAVID
Do they all come from the North Pole?
BESSIE
[_With injured American pride._]
W’at do yuh t’ink? We’re a lot of Polanders?
BILL
De Nort’ Pole? De Nort’ Pole’s warm next to w’ere dey come from. My paw ain’t woikin’, an’ de landlord toined off de heat w’en I didn’t pay de rent.
DAVID
Rent? What’s rent?
SLIM
[_As_ BILL _gazes appealingly at him_.]
Yuh started dis. Yuh tell him.
BILL
Rent? Rent’s somethin’ yuh pay w’en yuh get money.
DAVID
And when you don’t get it?
BILL
Yuh don’t.
SLIM
[_Becoming impatient._]
Say, what I wanna know is dis: is dis a kidnapin’ party, or is dis a kid party?
DAVID
What’s a kidnaping party, Santa Claus?
BILL
I’ll show yuh.
[_He calls to the children._]
Hey, fellers, we’re gonna beat it.
PETE
Naw!
BESSIE
We don’t wanna go, Bill.
ANNIE
We wanna play wit’ de presents!
T’EODORE
Lookit de sleds!
PETE
An’ de boxin’ gloves!
ANNIE
An’ de railroad trains!
BESSIE
An’ de trumpets!
MAGGIE
See de pretty flowers, baby?
PETE
[_Parceling out the musical instruments._]
Yuh take dis—and yuh take dis—an’ w’en I say “Ready,” yuh all blow to onct.
SLIM
[_Anxiously._]
Nuttin’ doin’!
PETE
Ready!
[_The din is terrific._]
DAVID
[_Indicating the instruments with some anxiety, and pulling_ BILL’S _sleeve_.]
Santa Claus, they haven’t been boiled!
SLIM
W’at?
DAVID
They haven’t been boiled, Mr. Slim!
SLIM
[_And you know he means the children—not the toys._]
Dey oughta be!
PETE
All ready? Go!
[_The uproar is repeated._]
SLIM
[_To_ BILL.]
An’ I told yuh not to make a sound!
BILL
Say, kid, dere ain’t nobody else on dis floor, is dere?
DAVID
No—nobody but us.
Bill
[_Drawing a sigh of relief._]
Dat’s good. Now, fellers, we’re gonna go—
SLIM
[_Interrupting._]
An’ we’re gonna take him—
[_He indicates_ DAVID.]
along with us.
BESSIE
W’at’s de hurry, Bill?
PETE
We don’t wanna go!
T’EODORE
Not now!
BESSIE
Bill, dere’s no place fer us to go to.
BILL
W’at do yuh mean?
PETE
De landlord, he come along w’ile we was leavin’, an’ he says we needn’t come back—none of us—never.
BESSIE
[_Rather pleased with her news._]
He says he’ll put de furniture on de sidewalk, an’ yuh can git it w’enever yuh like.
PETE
De sooner de better, he says.
BESSIE
Yea—an’ dat wasn’t all he says!
BILL
[_Aghast._]
He trun yuh out de moment my back was toined?
BESSIE
Yuh bet he did!
BILL
He trun yuh out? He trun yuh out?
BESSIE
Dat’s w’at I’m tellin’ yuh.
BILL
An’ what did paw say?
BESSIE
Paw says ef yuh can’t support him in better style den dat, he’s gonna quit yuh cold.
BILL
W’at do yuh t’ink of dat, Slim? Ain’t it de limit? Ain’t dat de absoloot limit?
DAVID
[_Seizing_ BILL’S _hand_.]
What’s the matter, Santa Claus?
BILL
[_Angrily._]
Aw, nuttin’!
DAVID
Why don’t you tell me, Santa Claus?
BILL
[_Bitterly._]
Dere’s nuttin’ de matter—on’y de kids ain’t gonna have a roof over deir heads to-night!
DAVID
Because you didn’t get money?
BILL
Dat’s w’y.
DAVID
And because you didn’t pay the rent?
BILL
Yuh said it, kid.
DAVID
But why do you want a roof over their heads? Can’t we take them along with us?
BILL
W’at’s dat?
DAVID
They can come to the North Pole too, can’t they? Of course it will be a little crowded in the sleigh, but there’ll be room for all of us if we sit close. And we’ll have lots of fun!
SLIM
[_Meaningly._]
Do yuh hear dat, Bill?
DAVID
[_Eagerly._]
The reindeer are waiting outside!
SLIM
Aroun’ de corner.
DAVID
Dancer and Prancer, and Blixen and Vixen—
BILL
[_Interrupting._]
De reindeer’s name is Lizzie—an’ her radiator’s froze.
SLIM
[_Crossing to him earnestly._]
But it’s gonna get us away from here, Bill! We get outa de city—we go somew’eres in de Bronx—an’ den we give Millman a ring on de telephone—
DAVID
Don’t telephone daddy; he’s always busy.
SLIM
He won’t be busy dis time.
[_He argues with_ BILL.]
DAVID
You don’t know my daddy! My daddy is the busiest man in the world! When he comes to see me, he says, “Exactly ten”—and that means exactly ten. When I want to see him I have to ask his secretary—and sometimes he can’t see me at all.
BESSIE
Do yuh like dat?
DAVID
I don’t like it—but I guess daddy _has_ to work.
BESSIE
Your daddy woik? W’at fer?
DAVID
I guess he wants _his_ money—so that he can pay _his_ rent.
[BESSIE _snickers_. DAVID _bridles indignantly_.]
Don’t make fun of him! I won’t let anybody do that! I don’t think anybody works as hard as he works! Why, he starts in the morning before I get up, and sometimes when I wake in the middle of the night, I tiptoe to the door of my room, and I can see the light burning in his study downstairs! Daddy works _hard_—and he looks so tired! He’s so tired sometimes that he won’t let me sit in his lap.
BESSIE
My daddy lets me sit in his lap all I like!
DAVID
[_Eagerly._]
Does everybody call him a fine man?
BESSIE
[_A bit dubiously._]
Dey calls him all sorts of t’ings—but he don’t mind dat.
DAVID
Do the policemen stop and speak to him?
BESSIE
Not ef he sees dem foist.
DAVID
Do they send men to his house to take his picture?
BESSIE
[_With pardonable pride._]
Dey don’t have ter: dey got his pitcher at headquarters.
BILL
[_Who has been arguing with_ SLIM _in undertones during the preceding dialogue, now turns abruptly_.]
Come on, fellers! We’re gonna go!
[_Slim takes_ DAVID’S _hand_.]
A CHORUS
Naw, Bill!... We wanna play wit’ de presents!... We don’t wanna leave de presents!... We want de presents!
BILL
[_Angrily._]
Come on, I say!
MAGGIE
[_Appealingly._]
Baby don’t wanna leave de presents!
DAVID
Santa Claus, let them take the presents with them!
[_As_ SLIM _releases him in astonishment, he runs to the children_.]
Here: you take this, and here’s something for you; and you take one of the railroad trains—don’t forget the tracks—and you take the other one.
BILL
[_Dumbfounded._]
Yuh’re givin’ away yer toys?
DAVID
[_Busy distributing gifts._]
They want them more than I do!
[_He turns again to the children._]
Here: you can carry more than that!
[ANNIE’S _arms are full already, but he piles toys on the heap_.]
Put these on top. Take them along.
[_To_ PETE.]
Do they let you ride a bicycle?
PETE
Sure t’ing!
DAVID
Then take this one.
[_To_ BESSIE.]
Do they let you go coasting on a sled?
BESSIE
All I want—ef I gotta sled.
DAVID
Here’s one for you.
[_To_ T’EODORE, _holding up a pair of boxing gloves_.]
Can you use them?
T’EODORE
Kin a duck swim?
DAVID
Take them.
PETE
[_To_ BILL.]
Hey, Bill, can I have de tennis racket?
BILL
[_To_ DAVID.]
How about it?
DAVID
[_And you see it hurts—and besides_ PETE’S _arms are full_.]
He wants it more than I do.
MAGGIE
[_With a cry of delight._]
Gee, look w’at I found! Ice skates! See de ice skates, baby?
DAVID
Ice skates!
[_He pauses; takes them in his hand; caresses them. This time it hurts very much indeed._]
BILL
[_Almost savagely._]
W’at are yuh gonna do, kid?
DAVID
[_Smiling at_ BILL.]
I’m going to give them to her.
[_He places them in_ MAGGIE’S _hands_.]
Take good care of them—and look out for the baby—they’re sharp.
[_He turns to_ BILL.]
And now, Santa Claus, what’s a kidnaping party?
BILL
Yuh wanna know dat?
DAVID
Yes, Santa Claus!
BILL
Yuh really wanna know?
[DAVID _takes his hand and nods eagerly_. BILL _hesitates. Then he glares defiantly at_ SLIM, _and turns to_ DAVID.]
Kid, yuh ain’t never gonna loin dat from me!
SLIM
[_With hostility._]
W’at did yuh say?
DAVID
[_Apologetically._]
I didn’t mean to forget your present, Mr. Slim.
[_He runs to the tree and fetches the candy._]
Here you are! And Merry Christmas!
[_He gives_ SLIM _the box_.]
SLIM
De candy! Dat’s my idee of one fine present!
DAVID
And now, Santa Claus?
BILL
[_Shaking his head._]
Kid, it’s gonna cost me a lotta coin—an’ gee, w’at wouldn’t I do wit’ just a coupla dollars?—but youse a little gen’leman—see?—an’ ef anybody lays a finger on yuh, I’ll moider him!
[_He casts a defiant glance at_ SLIM, _and claps his arm upon_ DAVID’S _shoulders in a rough accolade_.]
Kid, youse a good sport—
[_He bows grotesquely._]
—an’ I take me hat off to yuh! Yours truly, John W. Santa.
SLIM
[_Gasping._]
Youse gonna leave him here?
BILL
Yuh hoid me.
SLIM
But we come here to—
BILL
[_Interrupting._]
I changed my mind—see? A guy dat’s a he-man can do dat little t’ing—an’ John W. Santa’s a he-man!
[_He indicates_ DAVID.]
I’m gonna leave him here—an’ me an’ de kids is gonna beat it—an’ youse is comin’ along, too; don’t yuh forget dat!
SLIM
Bill! Yuh said yuh was hard-boiled!
BILL
[_Crossing to him menacingly._]
Ef yuh don’t believe it, now’s de time to try me!
[_He pauses._]
Well?
[_There is a sudden loud knocking at the locked door at the right._]
HALLIGAN
[_Outside._]
Let me in! Let me in or I’ll break down the door!
SLIM
Beat it!
[_There is a rush for the windows, but it stops short as the door at the left, which has been ajar for some moments, suddenly opens, and_ MILLMAN _stands on the threshold_.]
BILL
[_Rising nobly to the occasion._]
A-choo!
DAVID
God bless you!
SLIM
We’re pinched!
MILLMAN
[_Quietly._]
Just that.
SLIM
[_Jerking his thumb toward the window._]
Cops outside?
MILLMAN
[_Nodding._]
They saw you come in. They’ve been waiting for you to come out.
ANNIE
[_Beginning to cry._]
I want my presents!
HALLIGAN
[_Hammering at the door again._]
Let me in!
MILLMAN
Let him in.
[BILL _crosses to the door and unlocks it_. HALLIGAN _and_ VICKY, _both wabbly, but on their feet again, come into the room_.]
VICKY
Master David! Master David! They haven’t hurt you, have they?
[_She rushes to him._]
DAVID
Santa Claus wouldn’t hurt anybody. He was going to give me a kidnaping party, that was all.
[_He pats_ BILL’S _hand_.]
VICKY
[_Horrified._]
Master David!
HALLIGAN
[_Producing a whistle._]
Shall I whistle for the police, sir?
MILLMAN
Wait, Halligan.
[_He turns to the intruders._]
The house is surrounded. There is no way you can get out.
BILL
[_Most unhappily._]
Yes, sir.
[_He takes off his mask. For the first time we see his face: the face of a half-starved lad with big eyes._]
MILLMAN
Bear that in mind.
[_Most unaccountably, most leisurely, he turns his back on_ BILL, _and draws up a chair_.]
Davy, how would you like to sit in my lap?
DAVID
I’d love it, Daddy!
MILLMAN
So would I.
[DAVID _rushes to him_. MILLMAN _settles him comfortably, quite oblivious of the others_.]
There. There. David, where were you going with this man?
DAVID
Not “this man,” Daddy: it’s Santa Claus.
MILLMAN
I meant Santa Claus.
DAVID
I was just going to the North Pole.
MILLMAN
Were you going to leave me alone?
DAVID
I would have come back to-morrow or the next day, Daddy—if you wanted me.
MILLMAN
[_Eloquently._]
If I wanted you!
[_He pauses._]
Are you sure you would have come back, Davy?
DAVID
Well, pretty sure.
[_He hesitates._]
I wouldn’t want to bother you if you were busy.
MILLMAN
[_Wincing._]
I’m not so busy as you think, Davy.
DAVID
No?
MILLMAN
No.
[_He pauses._]
Sometimes, when a man’s lonely—when he misses somebody who’s gone terribly, terribly much—he tries to make himself busy. Do you understand that, Davy?
DAVID
I think I do. You mean—Mummy.
MILLMAN
I mean—Mummy.
[_His voice lightens._]
But now that my little boy is growing older, I don’t expect to be nearly so busy any more.
DAVID
[_Ecstatically._]
Really, Daddy?
MILLMAN
Honest and truly!
DAVID
[_Turning to Bill._]
Did you hear that, Santa Claus?
[BILL _shuffles his feet and does not answer_.]
MILLMAN
[_Sharply._]
Did you hear that, Santa Claus?
BILL
Yes, sir. I hoid him.
MILLMAN
[_Trying to speak lightly._]
And now, if you still want to go to the North Pole with Santa Claus—you may go.
[_He pauses._]
Do you want to go?
DAVID
[_Hesitates; rises; looks at his father; looks at_ BILL—_and then, to his father’s unutterable horror, runs to_ BILL.]
You won’t mind, will you, Santa Claus?
[BILL _is silent_.]
MILLMAN
[_In a tone like that of a whiplash._]
Answer him!
BILL
[_Addressing_ DAVID, _and exceedingly gruff_.]
W’at do yuh mean, kid?
DAVID
You won’t mind if I stay here, will you? I don’t care so much about that old North Pole.
VICKY
[_Tremulous with joy._]
Davy! Davy, boy!
BILL
[_A mighty effort._]
A-choo-oo—
HALLIGAN
[_After a pause._]
Shall I take them away now, Mr. Millman?
MILLMAN
Yes, Halligan.
HALLIGAN
[_Gruffly._]
Come on, you!
[_He herds them toward the door._]
DAVID
Don’t forget the presents!
MILLMAN
No; don’t forget the presents!
[_The children need no second invitation. They take up the gifts, as many as they can carry, in great haste. But there are more than they can carry unaided._]
Help them, Halligan.
HALLIGAN
[_Surprised at the order, but doing as he is told._]
Yes, sir.
[_And_ VICKY _helps without being told. The children begin to file out at the door_.]
DAVID
[_Who has been watching with an eagle’s eye, and halting_ BESSIE, _who is next to last_.]
Take the sled!
BESSIE
[_Taking it._]
Much obliged.
DAVID
[_Stopping_ MAGGIE _and the baby_.]
You’re forgetting the skates!
MILLMAN
Don’t forget the skates!
[DAVID _gives them to her_.]
MAGGIE
T’anks. Come, baby.
[_She goes, followed by_ VICKY.]
HALLIGAN
[_Burdened with gifts, stands in the doorway, and crooks his finger at_ BILL _and_ SLIM.]
Come on!
DAVID
You’re forgetting your candy, Mr. Slim!
SLIM
[_Refusing to take it._]
I never seen dat box before in all my life!
[_He goes quickly._]
BILL
[_After a brief hesitation._]
Give it here, kid.
[DAVID _gives him the box_. BILL _turns apologetically to_ MILLMAN.]
’Tain’t safe to leave dat stuff around.
MILLMAN
[_Gravely._]
Why not?
BILL
[_Hesitates again; then he squares his shoulders._]
De candy’s loaded wit’ knock-out drops.
[_There is a sharp intake of breath from_ HALLIGAN, _but his employer is not surprised_.]
MILLMAN
[_Quietly._]
I guessed as much.
[_He halts_ BILL _as the latter turns to go_.]
You came here intending to kidnap my boy?
BILL
[_Reluctantly._]
Yes, sir.
MILLMAN
You could have done it?
BILL
Yes, sir.
MILLMAN
Why didn’t you do it?
[BILL _hesitates_.]
Out with it!
BILL
[_Raising his head, and looking_ MILLMAN _in the eye_.]
He was nice to de kids—see? He give ’em all his presents. He didn’t hold out none fer himself. He’s de foist guy dat ever treated ’em like dey was yooman. I’d lay down me life fer him after he done dat!
[_He pauses, and continues hesitantly._]
Yuh see, paw don’t woik reg’lar; an’ maw’s sick, an’ ever sence I been old enough to go out on de street an’ sell papers, I’ve been keepin’ de kids alive—an’—an’ dere’s eight of ’em now.
[_Once more he raises his head._]
He treated ’em square, see?—an’ I, I done de same by him.
MILLMAN
[_After a pause._]
You know where my office is?
BILL
[_Puzzled._]
Yes, sir.
MILLMAN
Come and see me to-morrow.
[_He turns._]
Halligan!
HALLIGAN
Yes, sir?
MILLMAN
This gentleman will leave my house as a gentleman ought to leave it. You will show him to the door. You will send for my car. You will tell my chauffeur to drive him home. And you will see to it that the police do not molest him.
BILL
[_Incredulous._]
Mr. Millman!
HALLIGAN
[_Protesting._]
Mr. Millman!
MILLMAN
[_Once more the whiplash._]
Halligan! Do as I say!
HALLIGAN
[_Crushed._]
Yes, sir. I am to send this man home—
MILLMAN
[_Correcting him._]
This gentleman.
HALLIGAN
This gentleman—and his friend?
[MILLMAN _nods_.]
And the children?
MILLMAN
Of course the children.
HALLIGAN
Very good, sir.
DAVID
[_Halting them._]
Daddy, Santa Claus has no home to go to.
MILLMAN
[_Smiling._]
I forgot.
[_He produces an envelope from his pocket._]
I listened at the door for ten minutes before I came in. I heard every word that was spoken.
[_He claps_ BILL _heartily on the shoulder, and extends his hand—and in it is the same envelope that hung on the tree_.]
Merry Christmas, my friend!
BILL
[_Wiping his hand on his trousers leg before taking_ MILLMAN’S, _and painfully embarrassed_.]
De same to youse, Mr. Millman, an’ de same, an’ lots of ’em, to de little gen’leman.
DAVID
Thanks, Santa Claus.
[BILL _goes, followed by_ HALLIGAN. _The door clicks shut after them. For a second father and son gaze at each other in silence. Then_:]
MILLMAN
I gave him your aunt Mary’s envelope.
DAVID
I know you did, Daddy.
[_The two gaze at each other, wishing to say much, but unable to break through their masculine reserve._ MILLMAN _inspects the stripped tree with elaborate care_. DAVID _does likewise_. MILLMAN _turns toward his son, distant ten feet; gazes at him; folds his arms_. DAVID _observes the gesture—deliberately mimics it to the life_.]
MILLMAN
Well, son?
DAVID
Well, Daddy?
[MILLMAN _unfolds his arms, and hooks his thumbs into his trouser pockets. Again_ DAVID _observes—and copies the pose_.]
MILLMAN
Christmas is over, Davy.
[_From downstairs comes a joyful din: the blare of toy trumpets, the jingling of_ BESSIE’S _sleighbells, the shouting and the laughter of children_. MILLMAN _turns his head to listen; opens the door to hear better_. DAVID _goes to his side, takes his hand, and listens with him_.]
DAVID
Christmas has just begun.
[_The joyful din grows louder—louder._]
THE CURTAIN FALLS