CHAPTER XIV

Festivals--A cruel christening--Marriage-making--The fiancé a bore--The bride’s moral references--Anonymous letters--The bridal dress--The marriage ceremony--A floral departure--Hired jewellery as wedding presents--Child brides--Tempted to the altar with a doll!

Festivals are numerous, and are conducted on a very lavish scale. Baptisms, marriages, and “names-days” are usually made the occasion of great feasting. Birthdays are not celebrated, but “names-days” are; that is, one keeps high holiday on the saint’s day after whom one is named, as St Marie, St Anna, St John, etc.

A Roumanian baptism is a very curious ceremony. Many guests are invited, but the father and mother of the child are never allowed to be present. After prayers have been recited by the priest, a large font, almost full of luke-warm water, is brought in. Into this the child is plunged three times, the mouth, nose, and eyes being kept closely shut by the fingers of the priest. The poor little mite comes up gasping, and when it has regained its breath after the third dip, there is generally an outburst of crying. More prayers are then intoned, and the priest proceeds to touch the forehead, lips, hands, and feet of the child with holy oil, so that it may think no evil, speak no evil, do no evil, nor go where evil is done. The priest interrupts this ceremony several times, in order to spit once before him, once behind, and then at each side. This is to keep off the devil with all his evil ways. I was present at a baptism once, but never again. I thought it terribly cruel for the poor little mite, and no longer wondered that the absence of the parents should be insisted on.

Marriages are generally arranged through the mediation of a third person. Mme. A., for example, has a son whom she would like to see settled in a home of his own with a wife who can furnish the house, pay off his debts, and generally make him comfortable. She looks round her circle of acquaintances, makes inquiries further afield, and when she hears of a suitable match, begs one of her friends to act as intermediary.

If the negotiations go on smoothly, and the “dot” (the principal point) is considered satisfactory, the engagement is celebrated immediately. Invitations are issued, bon-bons, champagne, etc., ordered from Capsa, the “lautari” (Roumanian musicians) are engaged, and when the happy occasion arrives, dancing is kept up till a very late hour. In the course of the evening dancing stops for a short time, everyone crowds into the largest drawing-room, where the engaged couple are found standing side by side. The oldest friend of the family makes a short speech, wishing all happiness and prosperity to the young people, who then exchange rings. These rings are worn till the wedding-day, when they are once more exchanged and the bride comes into her own.

After the engagement, the bridegroom comes to dinner every evening to make the acquaintance of the bride, as probably he has never set eyes on her before. The engagement rarely lasts longer than two or three weeks, for, as a prospective mother-in-law once remarked to me, “long engagements are impossible in our country. It is tedious enough for us having this man come to dinner every evening for a week or two.”

When the approaching marriage of a young couple is announced, the authorities send round forms to three householders in the neighbourhood of the bride’s residence which they are requested to fill up and return. The questions are relative to the moral character of the bride. When I first heard of this extraordinary procedure, I did not believe the truth of the story, but later on I was shown one of these amazing documents. Another very unpleasant feature of engagements is the constant reception by both bride and groom of anonymous letters containing all sorts of allegations and suggestions concerning the character of the prospective partner. These letters continue to arrive till the day on which the wedding takes place.

A Roumanian bride’s dress does not differ very much from that of her western sister, with the exception of the veil. Instead of a veil, as we understand it, a quantity of gold thread is worn, falling from the head to the edge of the dress. It has a very beautiful effect. In very grand weddings this thread is of real gold and costs a great deal of money. In weddings of a simple character, the thread is not gold, and is usually hired for the occasion.

The civil ceremony required by law takes place one day, the religious marriage on the day following. The latter usually takes place in the evening, and the gay toilets of the guests, the gala-robes of the priests, and the innumerable wax candles which light up the scene, make a striking and beautiful picture. The bridesmaids assemble in the church to await the bride, who is then immediately led up to the “ikons,” _i.e._ holy pictures, in order to kiss them. She then takes her stand together with the bridegroom and his near relatives at a small table, and the service begins.

Light metal crowns are placed on the heads of the bride and groom (it is rather ludicrous in the case of the latter, especially if he happens to be bald), and the intoning of the prayers continues, to the accompaniment of a shower of flowers which descend from the galleries on all the participants in the ceremony.

The rings are next exchanged, and afterwards the “holy dance” takes place. Bride and groom, near relatives, and priests, all join hands and solemnly make a circuit of the table three times. It is rather a risky proceeding for the bridegroom, as his crown is so liable to fall off. The bride is safe, as hers is fastened with hairpins.

A procession of carriages is formed for the homeward journey. These carriages are generally decorated with flowers, and large lighted candles are carried by the footman on the box.

In olden times the girls in Roumania were sought in marriage at a very early age. It was not considered at all extraordinary for girls of fifteen or even younger to get married.

A young Roumanian lady told me that her own grandmother was only thirteen years of age when she married. The proposal of marriage was laid before her, and she, being only a child, thought how fine it would be to have nice new dresses and be able to buy anything she fancied, therefore she readily agreed.

When the wedding-day arrived, however, the child was not in the same mood, and nothing would induce her to go to church. Persuasion, promises, threats, all were unavailing. The bridegroom elect and the relatives were at their wits’ end; everything was prepared, the visitors assembled, the priests already waiting at the church to perform the ceremony. What was to be done? Suddenly the bridegroom elect had an inspiration. Throwing himself into the waiting carriage, he dashed off at full speed, returning in a short time with the most beautiful doll that could be bought in Bucarest. The joy of the child was unbounded, and when the doll was placed in her arms she readily consented to go to church and get married. In spite of her fit of objection on the day of her nuptials, she was, I have been assured, very happy in her married life. To the day of her death, however, she never called her husband anything but “Domnele,” _i.e._ Master. He was considerably older than she, hence, I suppose, her great respect for him.