CHAPTER IX

MY GODMOTHER

WE have dinner at one o'clock in the schoolroom with Miss Garton. She gives us till three o'clock to play about in the garden or do what we like, and then we begin lessons again. Puff always goes to grandfather in the study for part of the time. Grandfather goes to his study after he has had his lunch, and nobody but Puff goes near him till four o'clock, as he is always supposed to be resting then.

On this day I went down to the Lodge, for Mrs. Craig who lives there has a darling baby, and I love to nurse it.

I stayed there till ten minutes to three, and then I went back to the schoolroom.

There was no sign of Lynette, and Miss Garton asked me where she was.

"I don't know," I said; "I asked her to come down to the Lodge, but she seemed in a hurry to get away by herself somewhere."

Miss Garton did not wait. She never fusses. But when half-past three came, and then four, and no Lynette, she left me to do a French exercise, and went out of the room to look for her. Puff did not do lessons in the afternoon. But he had come back to the schoolroom and was playing contentedly with his railway engine in the corner.

He had not seen Lynette since dinner. I began to wonder whether she had gone to the beach and got drowned. And I'm afraid I made a lot of mistakes in my French exercise, for I was so busy thinking about her.

And then I heard an awful row in the hall, grandfather's voice loud and angry, and Aunt Isobel's, and Miss Garton's. I could not resist running out and opening the baize door at the end of our passage.

Miss Garton was coming up the stairs with Lynette, who was very red in the face, and looked in an untidy mess. Her hair was sticking out in all directions, and she had some dirty sticky streaks all down her face and dress.

Miss Garton did not bring her into the schoolroom, but told her to go to her bedroom and make herself tidy and stay there for the present. Then she came into the schoolroom, with a grave set face.

"What has happened?" I asked.

"Finish your lessons," Miss Garton said quietly. "You have only half an hour more."

I felt cross. I was being treated like a small child.

"Isn't Lynette coming to do hers?" I asked.

Miss Garton made no answer. It was the first time she had behaved like a governess, and I didn't like it. I was simply dying of curiosity to know what Lynette had been doing, and I began writing my exercise anyhow from sheer temper, and then suddenly I remembered the Hand that was holding me, and felt ashamed of myself. When half-past four came, my exercise was done.

Miss Garton seems like a wizard sometimes. She put her hand on my shoulder.

"You had a bad five minutes, Grisel, didn't you? I am so glad you got the better of it. Lesson time is lesson time, but now it is over, I am quite as anxious as you to know what possessed Lynette to act so foolishly. I have judged it wiser to leave her to calm down. She will have to do her lessons after tea. She was hiding in a cupboard in your grandfather's room. I am going to her now. I dare say she will tell you more fully about it than she will me, but I must speak to her alone first."

Then she left the room.

"Puff," I said, "were you with grandfather this afternoon? Was Lynette there too?"

"O' course she wasn't. Gruffy was there by hisself, and me and him talked, and he showed me a set of funny little men with faces, for chess."

I couldn't understand it. And when Lynette came to tea with rather a shamed face, I couldn't ask her about it before Miss Garton and Puff, and she was kept at her lessons till she went to bed, and it was only when we were in our room together that I heard the whole story.

"I really only did it for fun, Grisel. It wasn't wickedness, but I am always so unlucky, and everything happens wrong on purpose with me. You know how often we have said we should like to hear what Puff says when he's with grandfather. Well, just as I was eating my pudding at dinner, the idea came to me, and I went straight away and did it as soon as ever I could. It was to hide in the study and hear them talking."

"But that isn't quite nice—it's eavesdropping!" I said.

"Bosh! As if Puff would ever say anything we ought not to listen to! Well, I had to be quick to get in there before Puff and grandfather, and I was rather flurried because there seemed nowhere to hide. I thought I could get under the sofa, but it was too near the ground, and I stuck, so I gave it up, and then I saw a cupboard door, and I opened it, and there were a few of grandfather's garden coats hanging there, and his hat, and a shelf with some old medicine bottles. I crept in and pulled the door after me, and it shut, and then I waited till they came in—and oh, Grisel, it was too funny for words. Puff talked like an old man, and he said such funny things. He began about what he was going to do when he grew up.

"'Denys is going to be a soldier, and Aylwin, too, if he can, but I'll be a gempleum like you, Gruffy, and I'll hang my room all round with pipes, and guns, and fish-rods, and have foxes' heads and tails instead of pictures. Gempleums do egsackly as they like always.'

"'Do they, young Bantam?' chuckled grandfather. 'You'll have to work hard if you live a life like mine. Do you think before this confounded gout took me I spent my days in arm-chairs? No, I worked harder than any labourer, and you'll have to work too.'

"'What shall I work at?'

"'I think you'll make a good sailor. All our boys have been in the services.'

"And then Puff was silent for a minute, and then he burst out:

"'When you go to heaven, will you have gout?'

"'I hope I'll leave it in my grave,' chuckled grandfather.

"'There's such a lot of sitting still in heaven,' said Puff with a sigh.

"'Is there? I didn't know it.'

"'Oh, yes, and there's a lot of singing to be done too. I've quite made up my mind what I'll do when I get there.'

"'I should like to hear.'

"Puff lowered his voice. I could only just hear him.

"'I'll go up to Jesus Christ and say, "Please, Lord, let's come away from these crowds, and will You take me to see inside the moon?" And then Him and me will do it. He'll be able to do everything, you know, as easy as winking!'"

"Oh, Lynette!" I said. "Puff ought not to talk like that; it isn't reverent."

"Well, I couldn't help him doing it. Of course grandfather laughed, and then Puff took courage and went on talking a lot of rot like that, inventing as he went along."

"Get on to your part," I said. "I don't want to hear Puff's talk!"

"But that was what I went into the cupboard to hear. And I must tell you one thing that grandfather said. He told Puff that Denys would have to carry on in this house when he went, and not Puff. Fancy, Grisel! Will Denys be as rich as grandfather?"

"I don't know. You ought not to have listened, Lynette."

"Now I'll tell you about myself. At last Puff went away, and I began to wonder how I could get out without grandfather's seeing me. You see, I never think of the end when I begin a thing, and what do you think he did when he was alone? I looked through the keyhole and saw him. He took out his teeth! You never saw what a sight he was. He looked two hundred years old! And then he covered his head with a silk handkerchief, and prepared to go to sleep. Now was my chance of getting away. I waited till he snored, and then very softly tried to open the door. And what do you think I found?"

"That you couldn't do it, of course!"

"Yes, that pig of a cupboard couldn't be opened from the inside. There was no handle."

"Well, there isn't generally. People don't get into cupboards. It served you right!"

"But wasn't it 'awful'? I began to think of the lady who shut herself up in the oak chest when she was playing hide and seek, and wasn't found till she was a skeleton. And I got quite frightened. I simply daren't knock, for I knew I should get it hot from grandfather if he found me there. And so I waited and waited, and it seemed like a thousand years. And then he woke up, and Aunt Isobel came in, but she didn't stay, only took the letters for the post.

"I got quite desperate. I ached all over with standing, and then I tried to move my position, and a beastly bottle fell off the shelf on the top of me, and spilt itself all over me! That was the last straw. I felt I didn't care if I was going to be hung, so I hammered at the door, and grandfather opened it in great agitation, and then was furious when he saw me. He made a dash for his teeth; it was so funny! I tried to run out of the room, but he caught hold of me and shook me! Yes, he did! And I hated him! He's a wicked old man! And then I screamed, and Aunt Isobel came in, and then Miss Garton, and they wouldn't let me explain, and I was hustled upstairs, It was most unjust!"

[Illustration: "GRANDFATHER WAS FURIOUS WHEN HE SAW ME."]

"How could you explain, Lynette? You got in there to spy and listen. I should think it was much better not explained."

"I was very rude to grandfather," Lynette said thoughtfully. "When he shook me, I felt I did not care what I said to him, I said I was sorry he was mother's father, and that he wouldn't have dared to shake me if mother had been alive!"

"Oh, Lynette, how awful! How could you!"

"He grew white with rage, but his teeth were rattling about in his mouth—he hadn't had time to put them in properly—and then I felt sorry for him, for he is so old, and I was just going to tell him so when Aunt Isobel came in, and then I didn't say any more; they all scolded so."

I felt quite aghast.

"I don't expect grandfather will keep us here any more," I said forlornly. For I knew that Lynette had been outrageously rude.

"So it's no good my trying to be good or H.F. any more," Lynette said, "and I don't think I shall say my prayers to-night. I don't feel that God cares about me a bit."

She began to sniff. And Lynette cries so seldom that I knew she must feel very miserable.

I put my arms round her and kissed her.

"Of course God cares, Lynette, and you must say your prayers to ask to be forgiven. If you're sorry, you can start fresh to-morrow."

"But to-morrow I'm to beg grandfather's pardon, Miss Garton says, and I had made up my mind that I wouldn't do it."

"Then you must unmake your mind, and do it," I said. "Of course you must, Lynette. Father would have told you to do it."

"Father loved me," said Lynette, and then she burst into tears and sobbed as if her heart would break.

"Father still loves you," I whispered, putting my arms round her, "and God loves you, Lynette, and I'm sure, quite sure, that father talks to God about all of us. If you really didn't mean to do wrong, it will be all the easier to tell grandfather you're sorry, and oh, Lynette dear, do hold fast."

Lynette stopped crying. She's very sudden in the way she does things. She pulled down her stocking and looked at the blue H.F. on her foot with big grave eyes. "I remember," she said, looking up at me, "that father used to say to the boys,—

"'Confession to God and frank apology to man blots out a sin.'

"I must hold fast to it, so I'll say I'm sorry to-morrow!"

I gave a sigh of relief, and she did it, and grandfather forgave her.

After this, we went on quietly for a long time. Lynette and I are getting very fond of Miss Garton. She seems as if she was sent to us to help us to be good. And she isn't solemn and severe, but she laughs and plays games, and quite enjoys romping with Puff. It's only at lessons she's governessy, and of course she must be that. Now to-day something nice has happened, and I must write it down.

Aunt Isobel came to the schoolroom after lunch.

"Can you spare Grisel this afternoon, Miss Garton? I am going to pay a visit to an aunt who lives a long way off, and she wants to see the child, as she is her godmother."

I jumped up from my chair in great excitement.

"The godmother I was named after? Oh, I shall like to see her. Father told me once she lived in Scotland, but she has never once written to me or asked about me, and I thought she was dead. Did she know mother, Aunt Isobel? Oh, do tell me about her!"

"Hush, Grisel," said Miss Garton, "not so fast. Your aunt will be deafened!"

I was screaming a little, I was so excited, so I tried to calm down. I was excused my afternoon lessons, and at half-past two we drove off, Aunt Isobel and I, in the big carriage and pair. It was ten miles off. Lynette was rather envious of me at first, but Miss Garton told her she would take a walk along the beach with her and that comforted her a little. The one thing we do find dreary is walking out along flat roads for walking's sake; it always seems such awful waste of time.

At first Aunt Isobel was very silent, but as we drove along she began telling me about my godmother. She was a Mrs. Bannock, and was grandfather's sister. She had always been very fond of mother, though she had never seen her since she had married father.

"Why hasn't she remembered me?" I asked.

"People cannot always be in correspondence with their godchildren all over the world," said Aunt Isobel. "I have godchildren of my own whom I have quite lost sight of."

I didn't say anything, but I thought of my other godmother, who was Aunt Caroline, and she used to say that she felt quite responsible for me till I was confirmed. I wondered what Great-aunt Grisel would be like. I had always borne a grudge against her for giving me her ugly name. But I did not like to say this to Aunt Isobel.

And the drive so interested me that I did not want to talk. We soon left the sea and drove between great woods, with old beech-trees and mossy banks. A few primroses peeped out in sheltered corners. I longed to get out and pick them. Then we passed through villages, but I don't think Scotch villages are as pretty as English ones.

At last we came to some iron gates, and drove through an avenue of pines and larches for two miles, and then we came out upon a beautiful old house with windows like church windows and turrets and towers. I was quite excited, but Aunt Isobel told me not to fidget, so I tried to sit still and keep my eyes straight in front of me.

We went up a flight of broad steps, and then a dear old butler, with a smiling face, took us through a stone hall to a very long drawing-room. I think there were about ten windows in it. It seemed full of beautiful things, and the wall was so covered with pictures that you couldn't see any of the wall itself. There were two fires, one at each end, and at the farther end a lady was seated knitting. But she had a book on a reading-stand by her, and I think she was reading as well. She stood up when we came towards her, and she was very tall, with silver grey hair, and a sweet face. She wasn't only sweet, there was a kind of merry look about her, which I loved. And I lost my heart to her then and there for ever. I felt I could almost adore and worship her!

"Well, Isobel, you have brought her. What a tall girl!"

She put both her hands on my shoulders and held me away from her for a minute or two, and I felt her dark eyes were looking through to my soul. I was so glad I hadn't anything weighing on my conscience, for if I had, I felt sure she would have found it out.

"She's her mother over again!" Aunt Grisel said. "Why didn't you tell me so, Isobel? I would have had her over before had I known it."

"Oh," I said earnestly, "do you really think I am like mother? May I tell the boys you said so? Mother was beautiful, though, and I am very plain. How am I like her?"

Aunt Grisel put her hand under my chin, and bent and kissed me.

"You have her eyes and mouth, and a bit of her soul, I am sure."

I felt my cheeks getting quite red. A bit of mother's soul! Oh, if I only had!

And then Aunt Grisel told me to sit down, and she began to talk to Aunt Isobel about different things and about people. But she didn't talk properly, like Aunt Isobel always does; she made little jokes, and was very racy.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. Then she asked Aunt Isobel if she would go upstairs and see an invalid cousin who was staying with her. And when Aunt Isobel had left the room, she turned to me and gave me a slow wink, and then her eyes twinkled with laughter, though her lips were grave.

"Your Aunt Isobel is a very heavy conversationalist. We shall get on better alone, I am sure. Well, I see you have been taking stock of the old lady with those big eyes of yours! What do you think of her?"

"Oh!" I gasped. "I do like you most awfully. I've never seen anybody like you. And when you say I'm like mother, it makes me want to hug you!"

"Please don't. Now just sit down here and talk. I want to hear your side of the question. I hoped you would manage between you to shake up Isobel into a natural woman. But she tells me the boys have been sent away, and a governess keeps the rest of you from disturbing her peace. Don't you see anything of your grandfather? He wants young life about him. He and your Aunt Isobel have fossilised themselves. I stayed with them for a week once. I was asked for a month, but I ran away at the end of a week. I felt I was becoming petrified!"

"Oh, you'll understand," I said, "but it's very good of grandfather to have us all, and I don't wonder he doesn't like us much, for we are so noisy."

I began to tell her all about the boys, and then I told her about our Lincolnshire home, and about our Empire League there, and I poured it all out as fast as I could, for she sat and laughed and knitted away like lightning, and encouraged me to tell her more and more. And at last I stopped from sheer want of breath.

"Well, Grisel, I'm glad to know you, child! I was a wild bit of a thing myself when I was young, and age hasn't made me forget how quickly the blood runs in young veins. If you'd come to me with folded hands and placid eyes, I'd have wished for no more of you, but you've got the bit of your mother's soul that I loved."

"Do tell me what that bit is," I entreated her.

Aunt Grisel laughed.

"I had her to stay with me once when she was a wee bairn of five years old. I had to punish her, and I sat her in the corner for half an hour. She was as quiet as a little mouse, but when I let her out, her eyes were shining like stars.

"'I've enjoyed me so much!' she said, looking up into my face with mischief lurking about her lips.

"'What have you been doing?' I said.

"'Making up,' she answered. 'First I was a little imp playing outside the gate of heaven, and purtending I didn't want to go in, and then I was a sweet little angel playing inside, and shaking my head through the bars at the imp.'

"'And which are you now?' I demanded sternly. 'Angel or imp?'

"And then her eyes shone brighter than ever. 'Aunt Grisel's and God's little angel,' she said.

"And, bless her heart, she was my angel till she died, and then I suppose she became God's."

Tears filled my eyes.

"Oh, that's lovely, Aunt Grisel! Thank you so much for telling it to me. What a darling little story!" Then I added, "But I don't see how that explains about me."

"You see visions and dreams and are full of romance."

I coloured up. What sharp eyes Aunt Grisel had!

"Miss Garton tries to get me to leave off dreaming."

"Ah! Don't you do it! Dream away, child. It is your heritage. Dreams such as yours only come in youth!"

We had no time for much more talk, for Aunt Isobel came back, and then we had tea. How the boys would have enjoyed it! Scotch people have always such good cakes and biscuits! And Aunt Grisel's china was so rich-looking and old, and there was a beautiful old silver cake-basket, with two little cupids holding a garland of roses, which formed the handle, and a big silver jug of thick yellow cream!

I handed round the cups and cakes, and I felt Aunt Grisel's eyes following me about, until I began to get a little nervous.

"I should like to see my godchild again, Isobel. When can she come?"

"She is at lessons, my dear aunt, and it's a long way."

"Hoots! Didn't you know I had started a car? Sold my pair of horses a month ago. I'll send it over for her."

"I think we must wait till the holidays," said Aunt Isobel gravely.

"We do have almost a holiday every Saturday," I said pleadingly.

"Of course they do. Let her come and bring her sister with her. Young things like to go about together. Not next Saturday, but the week after, and I'll send the car in time to have you out here for lunch."

She nodded to me, and Aunt Isobel gave way.

And then, when I wished her good-bye, she kissed me.

"Ah," she said, "I hope there's more of Grace about you than of Grisel. For the Grisels in our family have been a wild lot."

When we were driving home, I asked Aunt Isobel why the Grisels were wild.

"It is only Aunt Grisel's way of talking," she said, but I saw she didn't want to explain it to me.

I had a lot to tell Lynette when we got home, and she was awfully glad to be invited with me next time. I do hope Aunt Grisel won't get tired of us, but ask us over again and again. I love her!