CHAPTER XIV.
“Master and Man”--“Altogether”--Dr. Thornton’s “Royal Botanical Lottery”--“Two Gold Finches”--“Dennis Brulgruddery”--“Shakespeare’s Seven Ages.
The State lottery for 1811 was passed June 26 (51 Geo. III. c. 113), £600,000 in prizes--net profit, £208,007 17_s._ 8_d._, about five blanks to a prize. Of this year there are one or two good handbills.
“MASTER AND MAN.
A DIALOGUE.
_Q._ Well, _Richard_, and what brings you to town?
_A._ Why, I’d a wee bit business to do for mysen, and the like for your honour’s lady, so I’ve kill’d two birds with one stone, you see.
_Q._ Well, well, sit down and rest yourself a bit; you seem tired?
_A._ A small matter, your honour, 'case, d’ye see, I walked all the way up.
_Q._ The Devil you did! Why didn’t you ride old Dobbin?
_A._ I couldn’t, your honour, 'case he’s dead.
_Q._ Dead! and how came that about?
_A._ ’Twere my own fault, poor beast!--I rode so hard from Doncaster, to tell Dame _Bridget_, our Housekeeper, the good News.
_Q._ What News?
_A._ Why, that she had got a share in a Capital in the Lottery.
_Q._ And how came she to buy Lottery Tickets?
_A._ Oh! bless you, mun! she didn’t buy it at all.
_Q._ Didn’t buy it? Why, how then?
_A._ Why, Mistress guv’d it to her, like.
_Q._ She’d better have say’d the money to pay off the Mortgage.
_A._ Oh, that’s all settled.
_Q._ Settled?
_A._ Yes; she paid it all off on the same day.
_Q._ What day?
_A._ Why, the day they paid her the money.
_Q._ What money?
_A._ Why, the Lottery money, from t’ Office.
_Q._ I thought you said, just now, that _Bridget_ had got the Prize? Your head’s wool-gathering.
_A._ So she did, but Mistress got one too.
_Q._ And it was drawn a....
_A._ A Prize of Twenty Thousand!--and now your Honour knows all about it.”
For a wonder, the above has no lottery office-keeper’s name attached to it--unlike the following.
“ALTOGETHER!
TUNE--'_Reuben, he had wit and grace_.’
'Reuben, he had wit and grace’ Altogether. And much esteemed Henry Hase[25] Altogether. Quoth he, 'Dear Ruth, a wish I have, A little store of cash to save, That Fortune’s frowns we both may brave, Altogether.’ Now Ruth, she was a charming maid, Altogether. And unto Reuben then she said, Altogether, 'The Spirit moveth me to say, If we’d be put in Fortune’s way,
To BISH’S we must go this day, Altogether. Then Reuben lifted up his eyes, Altogether; And to the Damsel thus replies, Altogether; 'Friend Ruth, thy counsel likes me well, I know friend BISH doth Prizes sell, So, unto him, our mind we’ll tell, Altogether.’ Then, unto BISH they straightway went, Altogether; And of their walk did not repent Altogether; Quoth Reuben, 'Damsel, verily, We acted right our luck to try, I love the Mammon heartily, Altogether.’”
[25] Secretary or head-cashier to the Bank of England.
On May 21, 1811, was passed an Act (51 Geo. III. and the first year of the Regency, c. 113) to enable Dr. Thornton to get rid by lottery of his very expensive works on botany, which were warranted “entirely of British Manufacture.” The scheme was 20,000 tickets at two guineas each, and there were to be 10,000 prizes.
“BRITONS! join Hand and Heart in promoting the ARTS and SCIENCES of your COUNTRY, by the IMMEDIATE PURCHASE OF A TICKET.”
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
ROYAL BOTANICAL LOTTERY.
_First_, THE GRAND _Prize_.
(Intitled the LINNÆAN GALLERY), Being all the Original Paintings of the choicest Flowers, Allegorical Subjects, and Heads of Botanists, executed by the most eminent Painters, OPIE, R.A. dec., RUSSELL, R.A. dec., HOWARD, R.A., REINAGLE, R.A., HENDERSON, &c., &c., accompanied with a superb Copy of each of the other prizes, most elegantly bound, valued together at upwards of
£5,080 0 0
_Also 199 Capital Prizes._
Each containing THE TEMPLE OF FLORA, being representations of the choicest Flowers of Europe, Asia, Africa, and America, NEW ILLUSTRATIONS OF THE LINNÆAN SYSTEM and PHILOSOPHY OF BOTANY, making together Five Grand Volumes, including several Hundred Plates, by those most eminent Artists BARTOLOZZI, EARLOM, LANDSEER, MILTON, LOWRY, TOMKINS, DUNKARTON, WARD, &c., &c. (the Plates afterwards to be destroyed, according to Act of Parliament); each set of these Grand National Works is valued at £80
15,920 0 0
_Also 200 Capital Prizes._
Each being a Copy of the BOTANICAL COLOURED PLATES in the TEMPLE OF FLORA, forming a most elegant Portfolio of Botanical Flower Plates, with a Descriptive Catalogue in 8vo, value £30 each Copy
6,000 0 0
_Also 609 Capital Prizes._
Each being the TEMPLE OF FLORA 4to Size, richly coloured, and Letter Press, valued at £15 each
9,000 0 0
_Also 2000 Capital Prizes._
Viz. FLORA of the UNITED KINGDOM, being a Description of every British Plant, and their Virtues, 400 Plates, Five Volumes 8vo, valued at £10 each
20,000 0 0
_Also 7000 Capital Prizes._
Viz. ELEMENTS of BOTANY, Two Volumes 8vo, with 200 Plates, valued at £3 each
21,000 0 0
Total Value of all the Prizes in the
----------- ROYAL BOTANICAL LOTTERY £77,000 0 0 ===========
“_Address to the Public._
DR. THORNTON
Respectfully informs the Nobility and Gentry, that, after a labour of upwards of Twenty Years, he has accomplished a series of BOTANICAL WORKS, which he hopes are honourable to the Nation. The House of Commons, and the Lords, were so well satisfied with them, from examination, that a LOTTERY for the sale of the same was unanimously granted; for it was seen, that FEW could afford to give EIGHTY POUNDS for a book, who would cheerfully venture TWO GUINEAS for the same. To convince a generous Public of the Value of the Prizes in the ROYAL BOTANICAL LOTTERY, he begs leave to present Extracts from the Reports laid before the Honourable House of Commons, being Letters from Persons of Eminence.
CERTIFICATES.
“Sir,--I very readily comply with your request to certify, that _His Majesty’s_ Library, and also that of _Her Majesty_ the Queen, have been _enriched_ with your _elegant_ Works; and I heartily wish you may succeed in your endeavours to recover some of the expense you have so _liberally_ incurred, in bringing them to their present degree of _perfection_.
“I am, Sir, your most obedient, humble servant,
“FRED. AUG. BARNARD, “Librarian to the King.
“Queen’s Palace, Feb. 20, 1811.
“Sir,--His Imperial Majesty, the Emperor of Russia, having, with much satisfaction, received your _splendid_ and _elaborate_ Botanical Works, has directed me to transmit to you the Ring sent herewith, as a mark of his benevolence, and a proof of his regard for everything which is of public utility.
“I have the honour to be your most obedient, humble Servant,
“N. NOVOSSILSOFF, “Pres. of the Imp. Acad.
“Dec. 30, 1807.”
Here follow other letters, etc., not worth quoting, and the prospectus winds up thus: “Dr. Thornton concludes this Address with confidence, that every ENGLISHMAN who has a love for the honour, glory and prosperity of the BRITISH NAME, will encourage the Fine Arts and Science of the Country, by entering into this BOTANICAL LOTTERY, which is intended to be drawn before the 4th of JUNE, 1812, provided the encouragement from the Public has been such, that One Third of the Tickets are disposed of by that time; which, from the present generous patronage the Public has already exhibited, Dr. Thornton cannot entertain one moment’s hesitation about. As the Tickets in all the other PRIVATE LOTTERIES have risen, at the conclusion, from three to six, or eight guineas, each, the present is the most favourable moment for the purchase of a Ticket in the ROYAL BOTANICAL LOTTERY.”
[Illustration]
The State lottery of 1812 was passed on July 13 (52 Geo. III. c. 125). Prizes, £600,000, net profit, £221,260 3_s._ 1_d._ I know not by whom the following handbill was drawn:--
“_Two Gold Finches, vis-a-vis,_ _Are now perching on a Tree._
“I explain the above Motto thus--the two Gold Finches are the two Twenty Thousand Pound Prizes, one of which is the First-drawn Prize above £25, entitled to £20,000, Next Friday, the 27th, the Second Day of Drawing; and the other Gold Finch is the _other_ £20,000 the lucky Sportsman thinks his Ticket will be drawn; so that with getting _one_, and being entitled to the _other_, he means of his £20,000, to make a Forty Thousand Pound Prize. This would indeed be killing two Birds with ONE STONE.”
53 Geo. III. c. 93, passed July 2, was the Lottery Act for 1813. Prizes, the usual £600,000; net profit, £212,285 12_s._ 6_d._ For a few years the stimulating handbills are scarce; still, one or two more can generally be found.
[Illustration]
“_Mrs. B._ WHY, DENNIS BRULGRUDDERY, surely you’re mad! Are these times, I wonder, to laugh and be glad? I suppose that, as usual, you’ve been in the cellar, And, beast as you are, with the ale have got mellow.
_Dennis._ Be quiet now, Mistress BRULGRUDDERY, dear, And let me just whisper a word in your ear; Be aisy, my darling, and open your eyes; Don’t you see I’ve got hold of a Capital Prize?
_Mrs. B._ A capital fiddlestick!--DENNIS, you’re crazy.
_Dennis._ My Jewel!--I tell you again, now, be aisy; Don’t bother my gig, and I’ll tell you the matter; But paice now, and let’s have no more of your clatter.
_Mrs. B._ Well, tell your fool’s tale, and, for my part, I’m dumb; You know I hate talking--I always am mum; You should hear Mrs. GABBLE--she....
_Dennis._ Will you be quiet?
_Mrs. B._ Oh, certainly, Sir;--there’s no need of a riot; I was only a saying,--but on with your tale. } } _Dennis._ You know who it was sav’d the Brazier from jail, } And 10 Thousand Pounds paid him “_down on the nail_.” }
_Mrs. B._ Mr. PEREGRINE, sure....
_Dennis._ T’other day, in the thicket, He slipp’d in my hand, faith! a Lottery Ticket; A reward for our kindness to MARY, my dear; Little share of that matter was yours, though, I fear: I thank’d him, be sure, and now, by the pow’rs, A fortune of Ten Thousand Pounds, dear, is ours!
_Mrs. B._ A Ten Thousand Prize is a _Capital_ thing; But better luck still, the next venture may bring: I’ve a Scheme in my pocket, by which it is plain, That a trifling sum may _twice Ten Thousand_ gain!
_Dennis._ Good luck to the craturs! and who would say, nay? I’m off for a Ticket as sure as the day; Och! this is the saison for making of hay!
_Exeunt._”
The Lottery for June 17, 1814 (54 Geo. III. c. 74), was for £600,000; but the net profit was small, only £174,533 1_s._ 3_d._
[Illustration]
“_SHAKESPEARE’S SEVEN AGES._
A PARAPHRASE.
All the World’s a LOTTERY, And men and women mere _Adventurers_: As planets rule, do mortals play their parts Throughout life’s seven ages. First the _Infant_-- For him, his mother, anxious to obtain An independence, buys a _Lottery Chance_, And marks the _Ticket_ with her darling’s name. The _School Boy_ next--with Christmas Box well stored, And face all shining with the rays of hope, Creeps, in his way to school, t 'a Lott’ry Fane, Empties his hoard, and buys a _Sixteenth Share_; Then sums his _Fortune_ by the _Golden Rule_.
[Illustration]
The _Sighing Lover_, fond, but poor in purse, A woeful ballad sings to Beauty’s Goddess, To crown his purchas’d _Chance_ with plenteous wealth; That he may speedy gain, in wedded bands, The greatest _Prize_--the maiden he adores. The daring _Soldier_ next--full of ambition To acquire honor, fame, and high command, Woos the blind Goddess--fav’rer of the bold-- And swears he’d brave the loaded cannon’s mouth, T’ obtain a _Prize_ of TWENTY THOUSAND POUNDS.
[Illustration]
A _Justice_ now--full anxious to support, With Capons fat, and turtle season’d high, His big round belly, a _Ticket_ buys, in hope To gain promotion, and ennobled blood. The sixth _Advent’rer_, is the _Pantaloon_-- He eager views, by aid of spectacles, The luring _Tickets_--buys--and hopes to pouch A CAPITAL--it rises to his wish-- His shrunk shank lengthens--and his deep fault’ring voice, With shrilly pipe proclaims the joyful news. But, last of all--to crown _advent’rous_ life, Would be no second childishness; to gain A _Prize_ that comfort yields--when age becomes-- Sans teeth--sans eyes--sans taste--sans everything.
Would every _Age_ know _Where_, with prospect bright, Of great success, is _Fortune’s_ fav’rite Fane, FAME tells ’tis kept by BISH--who never fails, In each new _Scheme_ to Sell--PRIZES IMMENSE.”