VI.
K. JOHN AND THE ABBOT OF CANTERBURY.
The common popular ballad of _King John and the Abbot_ seems to have been abridged and modernized about the time of James I. from one much older, intitled, _King John and the Bishop of Canterbury_. The Editor's folio MS. contains a copy of this last, but in too corrupt a state to be reprinted; it however afforded many lines worth reviving, which will be found inserted in the ensuing stanzas.
The archness of the following questions and answers hath been much admired by our old ballad-makers; for besides the two copies above mentioned, there is extant another ballad on the same subject (but of no great antiquity or merit), intitled, _King Olfrey and the Abbot_.[823] Lastly, about the time of the civil wars, when the cry ran against the Bishops, some Puritan worked up the same story into a very doleful ditty, to a solemn tune, concerning _King Henry and a Bishop_, with this stinging moral:
"Unlearned men hard matters out can find, When learned bishops princes eyes do blind."
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[All the copies of this ballad are of late date, but Mr. Chappell says that the story upon which it is founded can be traced back to the fifteenth century, and Dr. Rimbault so traces it to the _Adventures of Howleglas_, printed in the Lower Saxon dialect in 1483. Wynkyn de Worde printed in 1511 a collection of riddles translated from the French, with the title _Demaundes Joyous_, which are like those propounded by King John to the Abbot. Prof. Child points out that by this link the ballad is connected with a tolerably large literature of wit combats of the middle ages. (See _English and Scottish Ballads_, vol. viii. p. 3.)
Copies of the puritan ballad referred to above are in the Pepys, Douce, and Roxburghe collections. It commences as follows--
"In Popish times, when bishops proud In England did bear sway, Their lordships did like princes live, And kept all at obey."
The ballad entitled _King John and Bishoppe_, in the folio MS. to which Percy refers, is printed at the end of the following ballad.]
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_The following is chiefly printed from an ancient black-letter copy, to "The tune of Derry down."_
An ancient story Ile tell you anon Of a notable prince, that was called king John; And he ruled England with maine and with might, For he did great wrong, and maintein'd little right.
And Ile tell you a story, a story so merrye, 5 Concerning the Abbot of Canterbùrye; How for his house-keeping, and high renowne, They rode poste for him to fair London towne.
An hundred men, the king did heare say, The abbot kept in his house every day; 10 And fifty golde chaynes, without any doubt, In velvet coates waited the abbot about.
How now, father abbot, I heare it of thee, Thou keepest a farre better house than mee, And for thy house-keeping and high renowne, 15 I feare thou work'st treason against my crown.
My liege, quo' the abbot, I would it were knowne, I never spend nothing, but what is my owne; And I trust, your grace will doe me no deere,[824] For spending of my owne true-gotten geere. 20
Yes, yes, father abbot, thy fault it is highe, And now for the same thou needest must dye; For except thou canst answer me questions three, Thy head shall be smitten from thy bodìe.
And first, quo' the king, when I'm in this stead, 25 With my crowne of golde so faire on my head, Among all my liege-men so noble of birthe, Thou must tell me to one penny what I am worthe.
Secondlye, tell me, without any doubt, How soone I may ride the whole worlde about. 30 And at the third question thou must not shrink, But tell me here truly what I do think.
O, these are hard questions for my shallow witt, Nor I cánnot answer your grace as yet: But if you will give me but three weekes space, 35 Ile do my endeavour to answer your grace.
Now three weeks space to thee will I give, And that is the longest time thou hast to live; For if thou dost not answer my questions three, Thy lands and thy livings are forfeit to mee. 40
Away rode the abbot all sad at that word, And he rode to Cambridge, and Oxenford; But never a doctor there was so wise, That could with his learning an answer devise.
Then home rode the abbot of comfort so cold, 45 And he mett his shepheard a going to fold: How now, my lord abbot, you are welcome home; What newes do you bring us from good king John?
"Sad newes, sad newes, shepheard, I must give; That I have but three days more to live: 50 For if I do not answer him questions three, My head will be smitten from my bodìe.
The first is to tell him there in that stead, With his crowne of golde so fair on his head, Among all his liege men so noble of birth, 55 To within one penny of what he is worth.
The seconde, to tell him, without any doubt, How soone he may ride this whole world about: And at the third question I must not shrinke, But tell him there truly what he does thinke." 60
Now cheare up, sire abbot, did you never hear yet, That a fool he may learn a wise man witt? Lend me horse, and serving men, and your apparel, And I'll ride to London to answere your quarrel.
Nay frowne not, if it hath bin told unto mee, 65 I am like your lordship, as ever may bee: And if you will but lend me your gowne, There is none shall knowe us at fair London towne.
"Now horses, and serving-men thou shalt have, With sumptuous array most gallant and brave; 70 With crozier, and miter, and rochet, and cope, Fit to appeare 'fore our fader the pope."
Now welcome, sire abbot, the king he did say, Tis well thou'rt come back to keepe thy day; For and if thou canst answer my questions three, 75 Thy life and thy living both saved shall bee.
And first, when thou seest me here in this stead. With my crown of golde so fair on my head, Among all my liege-men so noble of birthe, Tell me to one penny what I am worth. 80
"For thirty pence our Saviour was sold Amonge the false Jewes, as I have bin told; And twenty nine is the worth of thee, For I thinke, thou art one penny worser than hee."
The king he laughed, and swore by St. Bittel[825], 85 I did not think I had been worth so littel! --Now secondly tell me, without any doubt, How soone I may ride this whole world about.
"You must rise with the sun, and ride with the same, Until the next morning he riseth againe; 90 And then your grace need not make any doubt, But in twenty-four hours you'll ride it about."
The king he laughed, and swore by St. Jone, I did not think, it could be gone so soone! --Now from the third question thou must not shrinke, But tell me here truly what I do thinke. 96
"Yea, that shall I do, and make your grace merry: You thinke I'm the abbot of Canterbùry; But I'm his poor shepheard, as plain you may see, That am come to beg pardon for him and for mee."
The king he laughed, and swore by the masse, 101 Ile make thee lord abbot this day in his place! "Now naye, my liege, be not in such speede, For alacke I can neither write, ne reade."
Four nobles a weeke, then I will give thee, 105 For this merry jest thou hast showne unto mee; And tell the old abbot when thou comest home, Thou hast brought him a pardon from good king John.
[***]
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[The following version is reprinted from Hales and Furnivall's edition of the Percy Folio, vol. i. p. 508.
Off an ancient story Ile tell you anon, of a notable prince that was called King Iohn, in England was borne, with maine and with might hee did much wrong, and mainteined litle right. 4
this noble prince was vexed in veretye, for he was angry with the bishopp of canterbury ffor his house-keeping and his good cheere, thé rode post for him, as you shall heare; 8
they rode post for him very hastilye; the King sayd the bishopp kept a better house then hee; a 100 men euen, as I say, the Bishopp kept in his house euerye day, 12
and 50 gold chaines without any doubt, in veluett coates waited the Bishopp about. the Bishopp, he came to the court anon before his prince that was called King Iohn. 16
as soone as the Bishopp the King did see, "O," quoth the King, "Bishopp, thou art welcome to mee! there is noe man soe welcome to towne as thou that workes treason against my crowne." 20
"My leege," quoth the Bishopp, "I wold it were knowne; I spend, your grace, nothing but that thats my owne; I trust your grace will doe me noe deare for spending my owne trew gotten geere." 24
"Yes," quoth the King, "Bishopp, thou must needs dye: eccept thou can answere mee questions 3, thy head shalbe smitten quite from thy bodye, and all thy liuing remayne vnto mee. 28
"first," quoth the King, "tell me in this steade, with this crowne of gold heere vpon my head, amongst my Nobilitye with Ioy and much Mirth, lett me know within one pennye what I am worth: 32
Secondlye, tell me without any dowbt how soone I may goe the whole world about:
and thirdly, tell mee or euer I stinte, what is the thing, Bishopp, that I doe thinke. 36 20 dayes pardon thoust haue trulye, and come againe and answere mee."
the Bishopp bade the King 'god night' att a word. he rode betwixt Cambridge and Oxenford, 40 but neuer a Doctor there was soe wise cold shew him these questions or enterprise;
wherewith the Bishopp was nothing gladd, but in his hart was heauy and sadd, 44 and hyed him home to a house in the countrye To ease some part of his Melanchollye.
hís halfe brother dwelt there, was feirce & fell, noe better but a shepard to the Bishoppe him-sell; 48 the shepard came to the Bishopp anon, saying, "my Lord, you are welcome home!
what ayles you," quoth the shepard, "that you are soe sadd, and had wonte to haue beene soe merry & gladd?" 52 "Nothing," quoth the Bishopp, "I ayle att this time, will not thee availe to know, Brother mine."
"Brother," quoth the Shepeard, "you haue heard itt, that a ffoole may teach a wisemane witt; 56 say me therfore what-soeuer you will, and if I doe you noe good, Ile doe you noe ill."
Quoth the Bishop: "I have beene att thy court anon, before my prince is called King Iohn, 60 and there he hath charged mee against his crowne with traitorye;
if I cannot answer his misterye, 3 questions hee hath propounded to mee, 64 he will haue my Land soe faire and free, and alsoe the head from my bodye.
the first question was, 'to tell him in that stead with the crowne of gold vpon his head, 68 amongst his nobilitye with Ioy & much mirth, to lett him know within one penye what hee is worth;'
and secondlye 'to tell him with-out any doubt how soone he may goe the whole world about;' 72 and thirdlye, 'to tell him, or ere I stint, what is the thing that he does thinke.'"
"Brother," quoth the shepard, "you are a man of Learninge; what neede you stand in doubt of soe small a thinge? 76 lend me," quoth the shepard, "your ministers apparrell, Ile ryde to the court and answere your quarrell;
lend me your serving men, say me not nay; with all your best horsses that ryd on the way, 80 Ile to the court, this matter to stay; Ile speake with King Iohn & heare what heele say."
the Bishopp with speed prepared then to sett forth the shepard with horsse and man; 84 the shepard was liuely with-out any doubt; I wott a royall companye came to the court.
the shepard hee came to the court anon before (his) prince that was called King Iohn. 88 as soone as the king the shepard did see, "O," quoth the king, "Bishopp, thou art welcome to me!"
the shepard was soe like the Bishopp his brother, the King cold not know the one from the other. 92 Quoth the King, "Bishopp, thou art welcome to me if thou can answer me my questions 3!"
said the shepeard, "if it please your grace, show mee what the first quest[i]on was." 96 "first" quoth the king, "tell mee in this stead with the crowne of gold vpon my head,
amongst my nobilitye with Ioy and much mirth, within one pennye what I am worth." 100 Quoth the shepard, "to make your grace noe offence, I thinke you are worth 29 pence;
for our Lord Iesus, that bought vs all, for 30 pence was sold into thrall 104 amongst the cursed Iewes, as I to you doe showe; but I know christ was one penye better then you."
then the King laught, and swore by St Andrew he was not thought to bee of such a small value. 108 "Secondlye, tell mee with-out any doubt how soone I may goe the world round about,"
saies the shepard, "it is noe time with your grace to scorne; but rise betime with the sun in the morne, 112 and follow his course till his vprising, and then you may know with-out any Leasing--
and this your grace shall proue the same-- you are come to the same place from whence you came; 116 24 houres, with-out any doubt, your grace may the world goe round about;
the world round about, euen as I doe say, if with the sun you can goe the next way." 120 "and thirdlye tell me or euer I stint, what is the thing, Bishoppe, that I doe thinke."
"that shall I doe," quoth the shepeard, "for veretye you thinke I am the Bishopp of Canterburye," 124 "why? art not thou? the truth tell to me; for I doe thinke soe," quoth the king, "by St. Marye."
"not soe," quoth the shepeard; "the truth shalbe knowne, I am his poore shepeard; my brother is att home." 128 "why," quoth the King, "if itt soe bee, Ile make thee Bishopp here to mee."
"Noe Sir" quoth the shepard, "I pray you be still, for Ile not bee Bishop but against my will; 132 for I am not fitt for any such deede, for I can neither write nor reede."
"why then," quoth the king, "Ile giue thee cleere a patten of 300 pound a yeere; 136 that I will giue thee franke and free; take thee that, shepard, for coming to me:
free pardon Ile giue," the kings grace said, "to saue the Bishopp, his land and his head; 140 with him nor thee Ile be nothing wrath; here is the pardon for him and thee both."
then the shepard he had noe more to say, but tooke the pardon and rode his way. 144 when he came to the Bishopps place, the Bishopp asket anon how all things was:
"Brother," quoth the Shepard, "I haue well sped, for I haue saued both your Land & your head; 148 the King with you is nothing wrath, for heere is the pardon for you and mee both."
then the Bishopes hart was of a merry cheere, "brother, thy paines Ile quitt them cleare, 152 for I will giue thee a patent to thee & to thine of 50^{li}. a yeere land good and fine."
"I will to thee noe longer croche nor creepe, nor Ile serue thee noe more to keepe thy sheepe." 156 whereeuer wist you shepard before, that had in his head witt such store
to pleasure a Bishopp in such a like case, to answer 3 questions to the Kings grace? 160 whereeuer wist you shepard gett cleare 350^{li}. pound a yeere?
I neuer hard of his fellow before, nor I neuer shall, now I need to say noe more: 164 I neuer knew shepeard that gott such a liuinge But David the shepeard that was a King.
ffins.]
FOOTNOTES:
[823] See the collection of _Hist. Ballads_, 3 vols. 1727. Mr. Wise supposes _Olfrey_ to be a corruption of _Alfred_, in his pamphlet concerning the _White Horse_ in Berkshire, p. 15.
[824] [harm.]
[825] Meaning probably St. Botolph.