BOOK XI
I
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Epirus, January_, B.C. _48_]
I got your sealed document, which Anteros brought. It gave me no information about my private affairs. I am exceedingly distressed about them, because Philotimus, who managed them, is not at Rome, nor do I know where in the world he is. And my whole hope of preserving my credit and private property lies in your tried and proved kindness towards me. If in this last desperate crisis you still show that, I shall face the dangers which I share with others more courageously: and I adjure and beseech you to do so. I have in local currency[165] in Asia nearly £18,000.[166] By a bill of exchange for that amount it will be easy for you to maintain my credit. Unless I had thought I were leaving it all square (trusting one, whom you have long since known I ought not to have trusted), I should have delayed a little longer and not left my private concerns embarrassed. The reason why I have been rather long in writing to you about it, is that I was a long time in gathering what was to be feared. Again and again I beseech you that you undertake to protect me in every way, so that, supposing my present associates are spared, I may along with them remain unembarrassed and put down my safety to your kindness.
[165] An Asiatic coin bearing as a device the _cista_ of Dionysius half opened with a snake creeping out of it.
[166] 2,200,000 sesterces.
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II
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in Epiro med. m. Mart., ut videtur, a. 706_]
Litteras tuas accepi pr. Non. Febr. eoque ipso die ex testamento crevi hereditatem. Ex multis meis miserrimis curis est una levata, si, ut scribis, ista hereditas fidem et famam meam tueri potest; quam quidem intellego te etiam sine hereditate tuis opibus defensurum fuisse. De dote quod scribis, per omnes deos te obtestor, ut totam rem suscipias et illam miseram mea culpa et neglegentia tueare meis opibus, si quae sunt, tuis, quibus tibi molestum non erit, facultatibus. Cui quidem deesse omnia, quod scribis, obsecro te, noli pati. In quos enim sumptus abeunt fructus praediorum? Iam illa HS L̅X̅, quae scribis, nemo mihi umquam dixit ex dote esse detracta; numquam enim essem passus. Sed haec minima est ex eis iniuriis, quas accepi; de quibus ad te dolore et lacrimis scribere prohibeor. Ex ea pecunia, quae fuit in Asia, partem dimidiam fere exegi. Tutius videbatur fore ibi, ubi est, quam apud publicanos.
Quod me hortaris, ut firmo sim animo, vellem posses aliquid adferre, quam ob rem id facere possem. Sed, si ad ceteras miserias accessit etiam id, quod mihi Chrysippus dixit parari (tu nihil significasti) de
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II
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Epirus, March_, B.C. _48_]
I received your letter on the 4th of February, and on the same day I accepted the inheritance formally according to the will. Of my many and miserable anxieties one is taken away, if, as you say, this inheritance is sufficient to maintain my credit and reputation, though I know you would have defended it even without the inheritance with all your resources. As for what you write about the dowry[167] I adjure you for heaven's sake to manage the whole business and protect the poor girl, a victim of my culpable carelessness, with my funds, if there are any, and out of your own, so far as you can without inconvenience. Pray do not let her remain in the utter want you depict. On what are the rents of my farms being wasted? That 500 guineas[168] of which you write, no one ever told me that it had been kept back out of the dowry, for I would never have allowed it. But that is the least of the blows I have suffered. I cannot write to you about them for sorrow and tears. Of the money I had in Asia I have called in nearly half. It would appear to be safer where it is than with the tax-collectors.
[167] The second instalment of Tullia's dowry due to Dolabella before July; cf. xi, 3. Dowries were paid in three instalments.
[168] 60,000 sesterces.
As for your exhortations to be of good courage, I wish you could find some reason why I should be so. If, on the top of my other sorrows, there comes that which Chrysippus said is under consideration (you gave me no hint), I mean the confiscation of my town
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domo, quis me miserior uno iam fuit? Oro, obsecro, ignosce. Non possum plura scribere. Quanto maerore urgear, profecto vides. Quod si mihi commune cum ceteris esset, qui videntur in eadem causa esse, minor mea culpa videretur et eo tolerabilior esset. Nunc nihil est, quod consoletur, nisi quid tu efficis, si modo etiam nunc effici potest, ut ne qua singulari adficiar calamitate et iniuria.
Tardius ad te remisi tabellarium, quod potestas mittendi non fuit. A tuis et nummorum accepi HS L̅X̅X̅ et, vestimentorum quod opus fuit. Quibus tibi videbitur, velim des litteras meo nomine. Nosti meos familiares. Si signum requirent aut manum, dices me propter custodias ea vitasse.
III
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in castris Pompei Id. Iun. a. 706_]
Quid hic agatur, scire poteris ex eo, qui litteras attulit. Quem diutius tenui, quia cotidie aliquid novi exspectabamus; neque nunc mittendi tamen ulla causa fuit praeter eam, de qua tibi rescribi voluisti, quod ad Kal. Quinct. pertinet, quid vellem. Utrumque grave est, et tam gravi tempore periculum tantae pecuniae, et dubio rerum exitu ista, quam scribis, abruptio. Quare ut alia sic hoc vel maxime
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house, I am the most wretched man alive. I pray and beseech you pardon me. I can write no more. You see, I am sure, with what a weight of misery I am oppressed. If I shared it with others, who seem to be in the same predicament, I should feel less blameworthy and bear it better. Now I have no consolation unless you can arrange, if it is now possible, that I may not be visited with any special disaster and harm.
I have been rather slow in sending back your letter-carrier, because there was no opportunity of sending him. From your agents I have received some £600[169] and the necessary clothing. Please send letters to any people you think right in my name. You know my intimate friends. If they notice the absence of my seal or handwriting, please say I have avoided using them owing to the sentries.
[169] 70,000 sesterces.
III
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Camp of Pompey, June 3_, B.C. _48_]
What is happening here you may gather from the bearer of your letter. I have kept him longer than I should, because every day I am expecting something fresh to happen, and there was no reason for sending him even now, except the subject on which you ask for an answer, namely what I wish as to the first of July. Both courses are dangerous, both the risk of such a sum of money at such a dangerous time, and the breaking with Dolabella, which you mention, while the political issue is still uncertain. Accordingly I will leave this matter in particular like others
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tuae curae benevolentiaeque permitto et illius consilio et voluntati; cui miserae consuluissem melius, si tecum olim coram potius quam per litteras de salute nostra fortunisque deliberavissem.
Quod negas praecipuum mihi ullum in communibus incommodis impendere, etsi ista res non nihil habet consolationis, tamen etiam praecipua multa sunt, quae tu profecto vides et gravissima esse et me facillime vitare potuisse. Ea tamen erunt minora, si, ut adhuc factum est, administratione et diligentia tua levabuntur.
Pecunia apud Egnatium est. Sit a me, ut est. Neque enim hoc, quod agitur, videtur diuturnum esse posse, ut scire iam possim, quid maxime opus sit. Etsi egeo rebus omnibus, quod is quoque in angustiis est, quicum sumus; cui magnam dedimus pecuniam mutuam, opinantes nobis constitutis rebus eam rem etiam honori fore. Tu, ut antea fecisti, velim, si qui erunt, ad quos aliquid scribendum a me existimes, ipse conficias. Tuis salutem die. Cura, ut valeas. In primis id, quod scribis, omnibus rebus cura et provide, ne quid ei desit, de qua scis me miserrimum esse. Idibus Iuniis ex castris.
IV
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. in castris Pompei Id. Quint. a. 706_]
Accepi ab Isidoro litteras et postea datas binas. Ex proximis cognovi praedia non venisse. Videbis
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to your kind care, and to the consideration and desire of poor Tullia, whose interests would have been better consulted, if originally I had discussed our safety and fortunes with you in person rather than by letter.
You say there is no trouble threatening me especially in this public misfortune. There is a little consolation in that, but there are many circumstances special to me, which you must see are very serious and might easily have been avoided. However they will be less serious, if, as hitherto, they are lightened by your care and management.
The money is with Egnatius. Let it remain there, so far as I am concerned: for things cannot last long as they are, so that I shall soon know what is most necessary. However, I am in want of everything, because the man I am with[170] too is in great straits and I have lent him a large sum of money, thinking that, when things settle down, that will bring me honour as well as profit. Please, as before, if there are any persons to whom you think I ought to write, do it for me. Pay my greetings to your family. Take care of your health. Above all, as you say, make every careful provision that nothing maybe wanting to my daughter, on whose account you know I am very unhappy.
[170] Pompey.
June 13, at the camp.
IV
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _In Pompey's camp, July 15_, B.C. _48_]
I have received your letter by Isidorus and two written later. From the last I understand that the
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ergo, ut sustentetur per te. De Frusinati, si modo fruituri sumus, erit mihi res opportuna. Meas litteras quod requiris, impedior inopia rerum, quas nullas habeo litteris dignas, quippe cui, nec quae accidunt, nec quae aguntur, ullo modo probentur. Utinam coram tecum olim potius quam per epistulas! Hic tua, ut possum, tueor apud hos. Cetera Celer. Ipse fugi adhuc omne munus eo magis, quod ita nihil poterat agi, ut mihi et meis rebus aptum esset.
IVa
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Dyrrhachi inter XVI et XII K. Quint. a. 706_]
Quid sit gestum novi, quaeris. Ex Isidoro scire poteris. Reliqua non videntur esse difficiliora. Tu id velim quod scis me maxime velle, cures, ut scribis, ut facis. Me conficit sollicitudo, ex qua etiam summa infirmitas corporis. Qua levata ero una cum eo, qui negotium gerit estque in spe magna. Brutus amicus; in causa versatur acriter.
Hactenus fuit, quod caute a me scribi posset. Vale. De pensione altera, oro te, omni cura considera quid faciendum sit, ut scripsi iis litteris, quas Pollex tulit.
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property did not sell. So please see to her support yourself. As to the estate at Frusino, if only I am to enjoy the fruits, it will be convenient for me. You say I owe you a letter. Well, I am hindered by want of matter, having nothing worth writing; for nothing that happens and nothing that is done has my approbation at all. If only I could talk with you instead of writing! Here to the best of my power I conserve your interests with these people. The rest Celer will do. Hitherto I have avoided every office, especially as it was impossible for anything to be done in a way that suited me and my fortunes.
IVa
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Dyrrhachium, June 15 to 19_, B.C. _48_]
You ask what new moves have been made. Isidorus will tell you. I don't think the rest of the task will be any more difficult. Please pay attention to what you know is my greatest wish, as you say you are doing. I am overwhelmed by care, and that brings with it also great bodily infirmity. When that has passed, I shall go to the man who is conducting the business and who is in high hopes.[171] Brutus is friendly; and takes a keen part in the cause.
[171] I.e. Pompey, who had won a temporary success by piercing Caesar's lines.
That is all that I can prudently commit to paper. Farewell. About the second instalment of Tullia's dowry, pray consider carefully what ought to be done, as I said in the letter, which Pollex took.
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V
CICERO ATTICO SAL.
[Sidenote: _Scr. Brundisi pr. Non. Nov. a. 706_]
Quae me causae moverint, quam acerbae, quam graves, quam novae, coegerintque impetu magis quodam animi uti quam cogitatione, non possum ad te sine maximo dolore scribere. Fuerunt quidem tantae, ut id, quod vides, effecerint. Itaque, nec quid ad te scribam de meis rebus nec quid a te petam reperio; rem et summam negotii vides.
Equidem ex tuis litteris intellexi, et eis, quas com muniter cum aliis scripsisti, et eis quas tuo nomine quod etiam mea sponte videbam, te subita re quas debilitatum novas rationes tuendi mei quaerere. Quod scribis placere, ut propius accedam iterque per oppida noctu faciam, non sane video, quern ad modum id fieri possit. Neque enim ita apta habeo devorsoria, ut tota tempora diurna in iis possim consumere, neque ad id, quod quaeris, multum interest utrum me homines in oppido videant an in via. Sed tamen hoc ipsum sicut alia considerabo, quem ad modum commodissime fieri posse videatur.
Ego propter incredibilem et animi et corporis molestiam conficere plures litteras non potui; eis tantum rescripsi, a quibus acceperam. Tu velim et Basilo et quibus praeterea videbitur, etiam Servilio conscribas, ut tibi videbitur, meo nomine. Quod tanto intervallo nihil omnino ad vos scripsi, his litteris profecto
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V
CICERO TO ATTICUS, GREETING.
[Sidenote: _Brundisium, Nov. 4_, B.C. _48_]
What were the reasons, how bitter, how grave and unforeseen, which swayed me and compelled me to act by a kind of impulse rather than by reflection, I cannot bring myself to write without great agony of mind. So weighty were they that they have brought about what you see. Accordingly I do not know what to tell you about my affairs nor what to ask of you. You can see for yourself the sum and substance of the matter.
For my