Part 16
(_He steps over to the door on the left. As he draws the portières and swings the door more widely open, the voices become louder and more confused. As he steps through, there is a sudden silence. The police commissioner stands waiting with a satisfied air, twirling one of the points of his mustache. All of a sudden, there is commotion and cheering in the next room. Cries of delight and applause, mixed with hand-clapping. The police commissioner comes out of his reverie and looks up with an expression of surprise on his features, as though not understanding what it's all about. Through the door to the left come Agazzi, Sirelli, Laudisi, Amalia, Dina, Signora Sirelli, Signora Cini, Signora Nenni, and many other ladies and gentlemen. Agazzi leads the procession. They are all still talking and laughing excitedly, clapping their hands, and crying "I told you so! Fine! Fine! Good! How wonderful! Now we'll know!" etc._).
AGAZZI (_stepping forward cordially_). Ah, my dear Centuri, I was sure you could! Nothing ever gets by _our_ chief!
COMPANY. Fine! Good! What did you find out! Have you brought something? Is it she? Is it he? Tell us?
COMMISSIONER (_who doesn't yet understand what all the excitement is about. For him it has been a mere matter of routine_). Why, no ... why, Commendatore, simply ... you understand....
AGAZZI. Hush! Give him a chance!...
COMMISSIONER. I have done my best. I ... but what did Signor Laudisi tell you?
AGAZZI. He told us that you have brought news, real news!
SIRELLI. Specific data, clear, precise!...
LAUDISI (_amplifying_). ... not many, perhaps, but well authenticated! The best they've managed to trace! Old neighbors of Ponza, you see; people well acquainted with him....
EVERYBODY. Ah! At last! At last! Now we'll know I At last!
(_The Commissioner hands the document to Agazzi_).
COMMISSIONER. There you have it, Commendatore!
AGAZZI (_opening the sheet; as all crowd around him_). Let's have a look at it!
COMMISSIONER. But you, Signor Laudisi....
LAUDISI. Don't interrupt, please, the document speaks for itself! Agazzi, you read it.
AGAZZI (_to Laudisi_). But give me a chance, won't you? Please! Please! Now! There you are!
LAUDISI. Oh, I don't care. I've read the thing already.
EVERYBODY (_crowding around him_). You've read it already? What did it say? Is it he? Is it she?
LAUDISI (_speaking very formally_). There is no doubt whatever, as a former neighbor of Ponza's testifies, that the woman Frola was once in a sanatorium!
THE GROUP (_cries of disappointment_). Oh really! Too bad! Too bad!
SIGNORA SIRELLI. Signora Frola, did you say?
DINA. Are you sure it was she?
AGAZZI. Why, no! Why, no, it doesn't say anything of the kind! (_Coming forward and having the document triumphantly_). It doesn't say anything of the kind! (_General excitement_).
EVERYBODY. Well, what does it say? What does it say?
LAUDISI (_insisting_). It does too! It says "the Frola woman"--the Frola woman, categorically.
AGAZZI. Nothing of the kind! The witness says that he _thinks_ she was in a sanatorium. He does not assert that she was. Besides, there is another point. He doesn't know whether this Frola woman who was in a sanatorium was the mother or the daughter, the first wife, that is!
EVERYBODY (_with relief_). Ah!
LAUDISI (_insistingly_). But I say he does. It must be the mother! Who else could it be?
SIRELLI. No, of course, it's the daughter! It's the daughter!
SIGNORA SIRELLI. Just as the old lady said herself!
AMALIA. Exactly! That time when they took her away by force from her husband!...
DINA. Yes, she says that her daughter was taken to a sanatorium on account of a contagious disease.
AGAZZI. Furthermore, observe another thing. The witness does not really belong to their town. He says that he used to go there frequently, but that he does not remember
## particularly. He remembers that he heard something or
other!...
SIRELLI. Ah! How can you depend on such a man's testimony? Nothing but hearsay!
LAUDISI. But, excuse me! If all you people are so sure that Signora Frola is right, what more do you want? Why do you go looking for documents? This is all nonsense!
SIRELLI. If it weren't for the fact that the prefect has accepted Ponza's side of the story, I'll tell you....
COMMISSIONER. Yes, that's true. The prefect said as much to me....
AGAZZI. Yes, but that's because the prefect has never talked with the old lady who lives next door.
SIGNORA SIRELLI. You bet he hasn't. He talked only with Ponza.
SIRELLI. But, for that matter, there are other people of the same mind as the prefect.
A GENTLEMAN. That is my situation, my situation exactly. Yes sir! Because I know of just such as case where a mother went insane over the death of her daughter and insists that the daughter's husband will not allow her to see the girl. The same case to a _T_.
A SECOND GENTLEMAN. Not exactly to a T! Not exactly to a T! In the case you mention the man didn't marry again. Here, this man Ponza is living with another woman....
LAUDISI (_his face brightening with a new idea that has suddenly come to him_). I have it, ladies and gentlemen! Did you hear that? It's perfectly simple. Dear me, as simple as Columbus's egg!
EVERYBODY. What? What? What? What?
THE SECOND GENTLEMAN. What did I say? I didn't realize it was important.
LAUDISI. Just a moment, ladies and gentlemen! (_Turning to Agazzi_): Is the prefect coming here, by chance?
AGAZZI. Yes, we were expecting him. But what's the new idea?
LAUDISI. Why, you were bringing him here to talk with Signora Frola. So far, he is standing by Ponza. When he has talked with the old lady, he'll know whether to believe Ponza or her. That's _your_ idea! Well, I've thought of something better that the prefect can do. Something that he only can do.
EVERYBODY. What is it? What is it? What is it?
LAUDISI (_triumphantly_). Why, this wife of Ponza's, of course ... at least, the woman he is living with! What this gentleman said suggested the idea to me.
SIRELLI. Get the second woman to talk? Of course! Of course!
DINA. But how can we, when she is kept under lock and key?
LAUDISI. Why, the prefect can use his authority--order her to speak!
AMALIA. Certainly, she is the one who can clear up the whole mystery.
SIGNORA SIRELLI. I don't believe it. She'll say just what her husband tells her to say.
LAUDISI. Of course, if she were to speak in his presence of course!
SIRELLI. She must speak with the prefect privately, all by himself.
AGAZZI. And the prefect, as the final authority over the man, will insist that the wife make a formal explicit statement before him. Of course, of course! What do you say, Commissioner?
COMMISSIONER. Why certainly, there's no doubt that if the prefect were so inclined....
AGAZZI. It is the only way out of it, after all. We ought to 'phone him and explain that he needn't go to the trouble of coming here. You attend to that, will you, Commissioner?
COMMISSIONER. Very glad to! My compliments, ladies! Good afternoon, gentlemen!
SIGNORA SIRELLI. A good idea for once, Laudisi.
DINA. Oh, Nunky, how clever of you! Wise old Nunky!
THE COMPANY. The only way out of it! Yes! Yes! Fine! At last!
AGAZZI. Curious none of us thought of that before!
SIRELLI. Not so curious! None of us ever set eyes on the woman. She might as well be in another world, poor girl.
LAUDISI (_as though suddenly impressed by this latter reflection_). In another world? Why yes,--are you really sure there is such a woman?
AMALIA. Oh I say! Please, please, Lamberto!
SIRELLI (_with a laugh_). You mean to say you think there is no such woman?
LAUDISI. How can you be sure there is? You can't guarantee it!
DINA. But the old lady sees her and talks with her every day.
SIGNORA SIRELLI. And Ponza says that, too. They both agree on that point!
LAUDISI. Yes, yes, I don't deny that. But just a moment! If you think of it, isn't Signora Frola right? Well, in that case who is the woman in Ponza's eyes? The phantom of a second wife, of course! Or else Ponza himself is right, and in that case you have the phantom of a daughter in the old lady's eyes! Two phantoms, in other words! Now we've got to find out, ladies and gentlemen, whether this woman, who must be a mere phantom for the one or for the other, is a person, after all for herself. In the situation we are in, I should say there was very good ground for doubting.
AGAZZI. Oh, you make me tired! If we listen to you....
LAUDISI. No, ladies and gentlemen, notice! It may be that she is nothing but a phantom in her own eyes.
SIGNORA NENNI. Why, this is getting to be almost spooky!
SIGNORA CINI. You mean to say it's a ghost, a real ghost? How can you frighten us so?
EVERYBODY. Nonsense! He's only joking! He's only joking!
LAUDISI. Not a bit of it! I'm not joking at all! Who ever saw the woman? No one ever set eyes on her. He talks of her, to be sure; and she, the old woman that is, says that she often sees her.
SIRELLI. Nonsense! Any number of people have seen her; she comes to the balcony of the courtyard.
LAUDISI. Who comes to the balcony?
SIRELLI. A woman in flesh and bones--in skirts, for that matter. People have seen her and people have heard her talk. For heaven's sake, man!
LAUDISI. Are you sure of that?
AGAZZI. And why not, pray? You said so yourself a moment ago!
LAUDISI. Why yes, I did say so! I did say that the prefect ought to have a talk with whatever woman is there. But notice one thing, it is certain that no ordinary woman is there. No _ordinary_ woman! Of that much we can be sure! And I, for my part, have come to doubt whether she is in any sense of the term, a woman.
SIGNORA SIRELLI Dear me, dear me! That man simply drives me crazy.
LAUDISI. Well, supposing we wait and see!
EVERYBODY. Well, who is she then? But people have seen her! His wife! On the balcony! She writes letters!
POLICE COMMISSIONER (_in the heat of the confusion comes into the room, excitedly announcing_). The prefect is coming! The prefect!
AGAZZI. What do you mean? Coming here? But you went to....
COMMISSIONER. Why yes, but I met him hardly a block away. He was coming here; and Ponza is with him.
SIRELLI. Ah, Ponza!
AGAZZI. Oh, if Ponza is with him, I doubt whether he is coming here. They are probably on their way to the old lady's. Please, Centuri, you just wait on the landing there and ask him if he won't step in here as he promised?
COMMISSIONER. Very well! I'll do so! (_He withdraws hurriedly through the door in the rear_).
AGAZZI. Won't you people just step into the other room?
SIGNORA SIRELLI. But remember now, be sure to make him see the point! It's the only way out, the only way.
AMALIA (_at the door to the left_). This way, ladies, if you please!
AGAZZI. Won't you just stay here, Sirelli; and you, too, Lamberto?
(_All the others go out through the door to the left_).
AGAZZI (_to Laudisi_). But let me do the talking, won't you!
LAUDISI. Oh, as for that, don't worry. In fact, if you prefer, I'll go into the other room....
AGAZZI. No, no, it's better for you to be here. Ah, here he is now!
THE PREFECT _is a man of about sixty, tall, thick set, good natured, affable._
PREFECT. Ah, Agazzi, glad to see you. How goes it, Sirelli? Good to see you again, Laudisi. (_He shakes hands all around_).
AGAZZI (_motioning toward a chair_). I hope you won't mind my having asked you to come here.
PREFECT. No, I was coming, just as I promised you!
AGAZZI (_noticing the police commissioner at the door_). Oh, I'm sorry, Commissioner! Please come in! Here, have a chair!
PREFECT (_good-naturedly to Sirelli_). By the way, Sirelli, they tell me that you've gone half nutty over this blessed affair of our new secretary.
SIRELLI. Oh, no, governor, believe me. I'm not the only one! The whole village is worked up.
AGAZZI. And that's putting it very mildly.
PREFECT. What's it all about? What's it all about? Good heavens!
AGAZZI. Of course, governor, you're probably not posted on the whole business. The old lady lives here next door....
PREFECT. Yes, I understand so.
SIRELLI. No, one moment, please, governor. You haven't talked with the poor old lady yet.
PREFECT. I was on my way to see her. (_Turning to Agazzi_). I had promised you to see her here, but Ponza came and begged me, almost on my knees, to see her in her own house. His idea was to put an end to all this talk that's going around. Do you think he would have done such a thing if he weren't absolutely sure?
AGAZZI. Of course, he's sure! Because when she's talking in front of him, the poor woman....
SIRELLI (_suddenly getting in his oar_). She says just what he wants her to say, governor; which proves that she is far from being as insane as he claims.
AGAZZI. We had a sample of that, here, yesterday, all of us.
PREFECT. Why, I understand so. You see he's trying all the time to make her believe he's crazy. He warned me of that. And how else could he keep the poor woman in her illusion? Do you see any way? All this talk of yours is simply torture to the poor fellow! Believe me, pure torture!
SIRELLI. Very well, governor! But supposing _she_ is the one who is trying to keep _him_ in the idea that her daughter is dead; so as to reassure him that his wife will not be taken from him again. In that case, you see, governor, it's the old lady who is being tortured, and not Ponza!
AGAZZI. The moment you see the possibility of that, governor.... Well, you ought to hear her talk; but all by herself, when he's not around. Then you'd see the possibility all right....
SIRELLI. Just as we all see it!
PREFECT. Oh, I wonder! You don't seem to me so awfully sure; and for my part, I'm quite willing to confess that I'm not so sure myself. How about you, Laudisi?
LAUDISI. Sorry, governor, I promised Agazzi here to keep my mouth shut.
AGAZZI (_protesting angrily_). Nothing of the kind! How dare you say that? When the governor asks you a plain question.... It's true I told him not to talk, but do you know why? He's been doing his best for the past two days to keep us all rattled so that we can't find out anything.
LAUDISI. Don't you believe him, governor. On the contrary. I've been doing my best to bring these people to common sense.
SIRELLI. Common sense! And do you know what he calls common sense? According to him it is not possible to discover the truth; and now he's been suggesting that Ponza is living not with a woman, but with a ghost!
PREFECT (_enjoying the situation_). That's a new one! Quite an idea! How do you make that out, Laudisi?
AGAZZI. Oh, I say!... You know how he is. There's no getting anywhere with him!
LAUDISI. I leave it to you, governor. I was the one who first suggested bringing the woman here.
PREFECT. And do you think, Laudisi, I ought to see the old lady next door?
LAUDISI. No, I advise no such thing, governor. In my judgment you are doing very well in depending on what Ponza tells you.
PREFECT. Ah, I see! Because you, too, think that Ponza....
LAUDISI. No, not at all ... because I'm also satisfied to have all these people stand on what Signora Frola says, if that does them any good.
AGAZZI. So you see, eh, governor? That's what you call arguing, eh?
PREFECT. Just a moment! Let me understand! (_Turning to Laudisi_): So you say we can also trust what the old lady says?
LAUDISI. Of course you can! Implicitly! And so you can depend upon what Ponza says. Implicitly!
PREFECT. Excuse me, I don't follow you!
SIRELLI. But man alive, if they both say the exact opposite of each other!...
AGAZZI (_angrily and with heat_). Listen to me, governor, please. I am prejudiced neither in favor of the old lady nor in favor of Ponza. I recognize that he may be right and that she may be right. But we ought to settle the matter, and there is only one way to do it.
SIRELLI. The way that Laudisi here suggested.
PREFECT. He suggested it? That's interesting? What is it?
AGAZZI. Since we haven't been able to get any positive proof, there is only one thing left. You, as Ponza's final superior, as the man who can fire him if need be, can obtain a statement from his wife.
PREFECT. Make his wife talk, you mean?
SIRELLI. But not in the presence of her husband, you understand.
AGAZZI. Yes, making sure she tells the truth!
SIRELLI. ... tell whether she's the daughter of Signora Frola, that is, as we think she must be....
AGAZZI. ... or a second wife who is consenting to impersonate the daughter of Signora Frola, as Ponza claims.
PREFECT. ... and as I believe myself, without a shadow of doubt! (_Thinking a moment_) Why, I don't see any objection to having her talk. Who could object? Ponza? But Ponza, as I know very well, is more eager than anybody else to have this talk quieted down. He's all upset over this whole business, and said he was willing to do anything I proposed. I'm sure he will raise no objection. So if it will ease the minds of you people here.... Say, Centuri (_the police commissioner rises_), won't you just ask Ponza to step in here a moment? He's next door with his mother-in-law.
COMMISSIONER. At once, Your Excellency! (_He bows and withdraws through the door at the rear_).
AGAZZI. Oh well, if he consents....
PREFECT. He'll consent, all right. And we'll be through with it in a jiffy. We'll bring her right in here so that you people....
AGAZZI. Here, in my house?
SIRELLI. You think he'll let his wife come in here?
PREFECT. Just leave it to me, just leave it to me! I prefer to have her right here because, otherwise you see, you people would always suppose that I and Ponza had....
AGAZZI. Oh, please, governor, no! That's not fair!
SIRELLI. Oh, no, governor, we trust you implicitly!
PREFECT. Oh, I'm not offended, not at all! But you know very well that I'm on his side in this matter; and you'd always be thinking that to hush up any possible scandal in connection with a man in my office.... No, you see. I must insist on having the interview here.... Where's your wife, Agazzi?
AGAZZI. In the other room, governor, with some other ladies.
PREFECT. Other ladies? Aha, I see! (_Laughing_). You have a regular detective bureau here, eh? (_The police commissioner enters with Ponza_).
COMMISSIONER. May I come in? Signor Ponza is here.
PREFECT. Thanks, Centuri. This way, Ponza, come right in! (_Ponza bows_).
AGAZZI. Have a chair, Ponza. (_Ponza bows and sits down_).
PREFECT. I believe you know these gentlemen? (_Ponza rises and bows_).
AGAZZI. Yes, I introduced them yesterday. And this is Laudisi, my wife's brother. (_Ponza bows_).
PREFECT. I venture to disturb you, my dear Ponza, just to tell you that here with these friends of mine.... (_At the first words of the prefect, Ponza evinces the greatest nervousness and agitation_).
PREFECT. Was there something you wanted to say, Ponza?
PONZA. Yes, there is something I want to say, governor. I want to present my resignation here and now.
PREFECT. Oh, my dear fellow, I'm so sorry! But just a few moments ago down at the office you were talking....
PONZA. Oh, really, this is an outrage, governor! This is just plain persecution, plain persecution!
PREFECT. Oh, now, don't take it that way, old man. See here. These good people....
AGAZZI. Persecution, did you say? On my part?...
PONZA. On the part of all of you! And I am sick and tired of it! I am going to resign, governor. I refuse to submit to this ferocious prying into my private affairs which will end by undoing a work of love that has cost me untold sacrifice these past two years. You don't know, governor! Why, I've treated that dear old lady in there just as tenderly as though she were my own mother. And yesterday I had to shout at her in the most cruel and terrible way! Why, I found her just now so worked up and excited that....
AGAZZI. That's queer! While she was in here Signora Frola was quite mistress of herself. If anybody was worked up, Ponza, it was you. And even now, if I might say....
PONZA. But you people don't know what you're making me go through!
PREFECT. Oh, come, come, my dear fellows, don't take it so hard. After all, I'm here, am I not? And you know I've always stood by you! And I always will!
PONZA. Yes, governor, and I appreciate your kindness, really!
PREFECT. And then you say that you're as fond of this poor old lady as you would be if she were your own mother. Well, now, just remember that these good people here seem to be prying into your affairs because they, too, are fond of her!...
PONZA. But they're killing her, I tell you, governor! They're killing her, and I warned them in advance.
PREFECT. Very well, Ponza, very well! Now we'll get through with this matter in no time. See here, it is all very simple. There is one way that you can convince these people without the least doubt in the world. Oh, not me--I don't need convincing. I believe _you_.
PONZA. But _they_ won't believe me, no matter what I say.
AGAZZI. That's not so! When you came here after your mother-in-law's first visit and told us that she was insane, all of us ... well, we were surprised, but we believed you. (_Turning to the prefect_): But after he left, you understand, the old lady came back....
PREFECT. Yes, yes, I know. He told me. (_Turning to Ponza again_). She came back here and said that she was trying to do with you exactly what you say you were trying to do with her. It's natural, isn't it, that people hearing both stories, should be somewhat confused. Now you see that these good people, in view of what your mother-in-law says, can't possibly be sure of what you say. So there you are. Now, such being the case, you and your mother-in-law--why, it's perfectly simple--you two just step aside. Now you know you're telling the truth, don't you? So do I! So you can't possibly object to their hearing the testimony of the only person who does know, aside from you two.
PONZA. And who may that be, pray?
PREFECT. Why, your wife!
PONZA. My wife! (_Decisively and angrily_). Ah, no! I refuse! Never in the world! Never!
PREFECT. And why not, old man?
PONZA. Bring my wife here to satisfy the curiosity of these strangers?
PREFECT (_sharply_). And my curiosity, too, if you don't mind! What objection can you have?
PONZA. Oh, but governor, no! My wife! Here? No! Why drag my wife in? These people ought to believe me!