Part 14

_Crispino._ [_Aside._] The devil a bit! I forgot that Signora Geltrude sent me to look for Signor Evarist, and now I have found him and not told her. But his illness--the fan--in short, I forgot! I will call him, but I don't like to go to Moracchio's house. I will go to the Signora Geltrude and tell her Signor Evarist is found, and she is to have him called, only not by me. [_Goes off towards the draper's shop._]

_Count._ What can it cost? Not much. Were it more choice, I would give it to Signorina Candida, who broke her own. But why should I not? It is not half bad.

_Nina._ [_At the window._] Where is Crispino? Not there!

_Count._ The figures are badly painted, but it seems to me they are well drawn.

_Nina._ Oh, what do I see! The fan is in the Count's hands! Quick, quick, to wake Signor Evarist!

_Count._ And who refuses a gift? She shall have it.

## SCENE IX.

Count. Baron _from the inn. Then_ Tognino.

_Baron._ What! you abandon me?

_Count._ I saw you were not inclined to talk.

_Baron._ Yes, it is true. I can't resign myself. Tell me, do you think we might go now and try to see those ladies once more.

_Count._ Why not? I have a happy thought! Shall I make you a present,--a present that will make you cut a good figure in Signorina Candida's eyes?

_Baron._ What is this present?

_Count._ You know she broke her fan this morning.

_Baron._ Yes, I heard of it.

_Count._ Here is a fan. Let us go and find her and give her this one from you. [_Gives it to the_ Baron.] Look, it is not ugly.

_Baron._ You want me then to--

_Count._ Yes, you give it. I do not want to have any merit in the matter. I leave all the honour to you.

_Baron._ I gladly accept this excuse, but you will at least let me know what it cost?

_Count._ Oh, a trifle.

_Baron._ Nevertheless, kindly tell me the price.

_Count._ But to what end? Did you not give me a present of two pistols?

_Baron._ I do not know what to say. Well, I accept your present gratefully.--[_Aside._] Where did he find this fan? It seems to me impossible that he bought it.

_Count._ Well, what do you say to it? Isn't it a pretty thing? And just in the nick of time! Oh, I understand these things, I have much experience. I am well provided. There is a whole room full of nick-nacks for ladies. But do not let us waste time. Let us go. [_Rings at_ Signora Geltrude's _house._]

_Tognino._ [_From the terrace._] What do you wish, gentlemen?

_Count._ Will the ladies receive us?

_Tognino._ Signora Geltrude is out, and Signorina Candida is resting in her room.

_Count._ Let us know as soon as she is awake.

_Tognino._ Yes, sir. [_Exit._

_Count._ Did you hear?

_Baron._ Well, we must just wait. I have to write a letter to Milan; I will go and write it at the apothecary's. If you will come too--

_Count._ No; I don't like going to that man's house. Go and write your letter, and I will wait here till the servant calls us.

_Baron._ Very well. As soon as you want me, I am at your service.

_Count._ Count on me, do not fear.

_Baron._ [_Aside._] I do not count on him, and still less on the aunt, and yet less on the niece. [_Goes to_ Timoteo's.]

_Count._ I will amuse myself with my book, with my beautiful collection of wonderful fables. [_Pulls out his book, seats himself, and reads._]

## SCENE X.

Count. Evarist _comes out of_ Nina's _house._

_Evarist._ Oh, there he is still! I thought he was gone. I can't think how I was able to fall asleep amid so much distress of mind. Fatigue--exhaustion. Now I feel born anew with the hopes of having back the fan.--[_Calls._] Count, your servant.

_Count._ [_Reading and smiling._] Your servant, Signor Evarist.

_Evarist._ Will you permit me to say a few words?

_Count._ [_As above._] In a moment I am at your disposal.

_Evarist._ [_Aside._] If he has not got the fan in his hand, I don't know how to begin speaking about it.

_Count._ [_Gets up laughing, and pockets his book._] Here I am, at your services.

_Evarist._ [_Searching with his eyes for the fan._] I should be sorry if I have disturbed you.

_Count._ It does not matter, I will finish reading my fable another time.

_Evarist._ [_As above._] I should not like you to think me impertinent.

_Count._ What are you looking at? Have I some spot about me?

_Evarist._ Excuse me, I was told you had a fan.

_Count._ [_Confused._] A fan! It is true. Was it perchance you who lost it?

_Evarist._ Yes, sir, I lost it.

_Count._ But there are many fans in the world. How do you know it is yours?

_Evarist._ If you would have the kindness to show it to me?

_Count._ My friend, I am sorry you come too late.

_Evarist._ How too late?

_Count._ The fan is no longer in my possession.

_Evarist._ What?

_Count._ No; I gave it away.

_Evarist._ And pray to whom?

_Count._ That is just what I would rather not tell you.

_Evarist._ Count, I must know! I must have back that fan, and I will know who has it now!

_Count._ I will not tell!

_Evarist._ Heavens and earth, but you shall tell!

_Count._ Do not forget who I am!

_Evarist._ [_Angrily._] I say it, and I will maintain it! This is an ungentlemanly action!

_Count._ Do you know that I have a couple of loaded pistols?

_Evarist._ What do I care about your pistols? I want my fan!

_Count._ How absurd! So much eagerness and noise for a bit of a fan which is worth perhaps five paoli!

_Evarist._ Let it be worth whatever it is worth, you cannot know that for me it is priceless. I would give twenty ducats to have it!

_Count._ You would give twenty ducats!

_Evarist._ If I tell you so, I promise it! If you can get it back I will gladly sacrifice twenty ducats.

_Count._ [_Aside._] The devil! It must be painted by Titian or Raphael of Urbino.--I will see if I can get you back the fan.

_Evarist._ If the owner likes to sell it for twenty ducats, I repeat I am willing.

_Count._ Had I the fan, such a proposal would offend me.

_Evarist._ But perchance it will not offend its present owner.

_Count._ Perchance, who knows? My friend, I assure you, I am quite confused.

_Evarist._ Let us do like this, Count. This is a gold snuff-box whose weight alone represents a worth of over twenty ducats. Its workmanship makes it worth twice as much. Never mind; for that fan I will willingly give this box. Here it is!

_Count._ [_Holding the box in his hand._] Are there perhaps diamonds on that fan? I noticed nothing.

_Evarist._ It is not of the faintest value, but it is of worth to me.

_Count._ Then I must try and satisfy you.

_Evarist._ I beg of you!

_Count._ Await me here.--[_Aside._] I am quite confused.--But am I to give the box in exchange?

_Evarist._ Yes, yes, give it!

_Count._ Wait. [_Walks a few steps._] And if the person gives me the fan, and does not want the box?

_Evarist._ I have given it to you. Do what you like with your property.

_Count._ In earnest?

_Evarist._ In earnest.

_Count._ [_Aside._] After all, the Baron is a gentleman and my friend. Because of the twenty ducats I would not accept it, but a gold snuff-box--that gives an aristocratic, refined, well-to-do air.--[_Aloud._] Wait for me here. [_Goes into the pharmacy._]

_Evarist._ To justify myself in her eyes I would sacrifice my life, my heart's blood!

## SCENE XI.

Crispino _from out of_ Susanna's _shop. The above. Then the_ Count, _after_ Nina.

_Crispino._ Oh, there he is! Sir, your servant. Signora Geltrude wishes to speak with you. She is here in the shop, and begs you to have the kindness to step in there. She expects you.

_Evarist._ Tell her I am at her service in one moment. I must urgently speak to some one before.

_Crispino._ Yes, sir. And how are you now--better?

_Evarist._ Much better, I am glad to say.

_Crispino._ I am delighted to hear it. And Nina is well?

_Evarist._ I think so.

_Crispino._ She is a good girl, is Nina.

_Evarist._ Yes, indeed, and I know she loves you dearly.

_Crispino._ And I love her too, but--

_Evarist._ But what?

_Crispino._ I have been told certain things.

_Evarist._ Concerning me, perhaps?

_Crispino._ To say the truth, yes, sir.

_Evarist._ Friend, I am a gentleman, and your Nina is a good, honest girl.

_Crispino._ I think so too. There are always evil tongues about.

[Count, _coming out of the pharmacy._]

_Evarist._ There now! Go to Signora Geltrude and tell her I shall come directly.

_Crispino._ Yes, sir. [_Walks away._] I feel easy now that nothing is wrong here.--[_Aloud as he passes the_ Count.] I commend myself to you on behalf of Nina.

_Count._ Count on my protection!

_Crispino._ I desire it earnestly. [_Goes into the shop._]

_Evarist._ Well, Count?

_Count._ Here is the fan. [_He shows it him._]

_Evarist._ [_Seizes it eagerly._] Oh, what happiness! How greatly I am obliged to you!

_Count._ Look whether it be yours.

_Evarist._ Beyond a doubt. [_Wishes to move off._]

_Count._ And the snuff-box?

_Evarist._ Do not let us name that. I am but too grateful. [_Off to_ Susanna's _shop._]

_Count._ What it means not to understand things perfectly! I thought it a common fan, and now it seems it is worth so much,--so much, in fact, that it is worth exchanging against a gold snuff-box. No doubt the Baron would have liked the box. He was vexed that I asked for the fan back, but when I said I would present it in his name, he was mollified a little. I will now go and buy one like it.

_Crispino._ [_Returning._] Well, this job is done. I like to serve Signora Geltrude. So you give me good hopes, Count?

_Count._ Most excellent hopes! To-day is a fortunate day for me, and all I do in it succeeds.

_Crispino._ Let us hope this will succeed too.

_Count._ Most undoubtedly! Hi, Nina!

_Nina._ [_Comes out of her house testily._] What do you want now?

_Count._ Do not be angered so quickly. I want to do you a service. I want to marry you.

_Nina._ I don't need you for that.

_Count._ With some one to your taste.

_Nina._ And I say no!

_Count._ With Crispino.

_Nina._ With Crispino?

_Count._ Aha, what do you say now?

_Nina._ With all my heart!

_Count._ There, Crispino, you see what my protection means!

_Crispino._ Yes, sir, I see.

## SCENE XII.

Moracchio _from the house. The above._

_Moracchio._ What are you doing here?

_Nina._ What does it matter to you?

_Count._ Nina is going to be married under the aegis of my protection.

_Moracchio._ As you like, sir; and she must consent, whether she like it or no.

_Nina._ [_Gravely._] Oh, I will consent dutifully.

_Moracchio._ The better for you!

_Nina._ And to show you I consent, I will give my hand to Crispino.

_Moracchio._ [_Amazed._] But--Count--

_Count._ [_Placidly._] Let them be.

_Moracchio._ But, Count, did you not give your word to Coronato?

## SCENE XIII.

Coronato _from the inn. The above._

_Coronato._ Who is talking about me?

_Moracchio._ Come here, and behold! The Count wants my sister to marry--

_Coronato._ [_Anxiously._] Count!

_Count._ I am a just man and a nobleman, a sensible protector and human. Nina does not want you, and I cannot, and must not, and will not use violence!

_Nina._ And I want Crispino, though the whole world oppose it!

_Coronato._ [_To_ Moracchio.] And what say you?

_Moracchio._ [_To_ Coronato.] And what say you?

_Coronato._ I don't care a fig! Who does not want me, does not deserve me!

_Nina._ That is the saying.

_Count._ [_To_ Crispino.] See the results of my protection!

_Coronato._ Count, I have sent the second barrel of wine.

_Count._ Bring me the bill, and I will pay it. [_While speaking, he pulls out the gold snuff-box, and ostentatiously takes snuff._]

_Coronato._ [_Aside._] He has a gold snuff-box--he can pay. [_Exit._

_Moracchio._ [_To_ Nina.] Well, you have had your way after all.

_Nina._ So it seems.

_Moracchio._ And if you repent, it will be your affair.

_Count._ She will never need to repent. She has my protection.

_Moracchio._ Bread seems to me better than protection. [_Exit._

_Count._ And when shall we hold the wedding?

_Crispino._ Soon.

_Nina._ Yes, soon.

## SCENE XIV.

Baron _from the pharmacy. The above._

_Baron._ Well, Count, have you seen Signorina Candida, and have you given her the fan? Why would you not let me have the pleasure of giving it her myself?

_Nina._ [_Aside._] What! Signor Evarist has not got it!

_Count._ I have not yet seen Signorina Candida, and as for the fan, I have others, and have destined a better one for her. Oh, here is Signora Geltrude!

## SCENE XV.

Geltrude, Evarist, _and_ Susanna, _all three come out of_ Susanna's _shop._

_Geltrude._ [_To_ Susanna.] Do me the favour of telling my niece to come down. I must speak to her.

_Susanna._ I go at once. [_Goes to the villa, knocks, they open, she enters._]

_Geltrude._ [_Softly to_ Evarist.] I do not wish the Count and the Baron to go into the house.

_Count._ Signora Geltrude, the Baron and I were just about to visit you.

_Geltrude._ I am obliged for the polite intention. The evening is so fine, we can talk out of doors.

_Baron._ So you have come back, Signor Evarist?

_Evarist._ [_Curtly._] As you see.

## SCENE XVI.

_The above._ Candida.

_Candida._ What does my aunt wish?

_Geltrude._ Let us take a few turns.

_Candida._ [_Aside._] Why, there is the false Evarist!

_Geltrude._ But why have you got no fan?

_Candida._ Don't you remember I broke mine this morning?

_Geltrude._ Ah, yes, true; if we could find another.

_Baron._ [_Whispers to_ Count.] Now is the time to give it.

_Count._ [_Aside._] No, not in public.

_Geltrude._ Signor Evarist, you do not happen by chance to have one?

_Evarist._ Here it is, at your service. [_He shows it to_ Geltrude, _but does not give it to her._]

[Candida _turns aside contemptuously._]

_Baron._ [_Softly to the_ Count.] Your fan! out with your fan!

_Count._ [_As above._] Don't poke me so!

_Baron._ [_As above._] Out with it, I say!

_Count._ [_As above._] Not now, not now!

_Geltrude._ Niece, won't you accept Signor Evarist's polite offer?

_Candida._ No, aunt, excuse me; I don't need it.

_Count._ [_To_ Baron.] You see, she does not accept it!

_Baron._ [_To_ Count.] Give it me at once!

_Count._ [_To_ Baron.] Do you mean to pick a quarrel?

_Geltrude._ May I ask why you will not accept this fan?

_Candida._ Because it is not mine; because it was not meant for me. It would not become either you or me were I to accept it.

_Geltrude._ Signor Evarist, can you answer this?

_Evarist._ I can if I may.

_Candida._ Excuse me. [_Turns to leave._]

_Geltrude._ Stay here! I command it. [Candida _obeys._]

_Baron._ [_To_ Count.] What is all this imbroglio?

_Count._ [_To_ Baron.] I know nothing about it all.

_Evarist._ Susanna, do you know this fan?

_Susanna._ Yes, sir. It is that you bought from me this morning. I most imprudently concluded you had bought it for Nina. I confess I was wrong, but appearances were against you, for in truth you gave the fan to the girl.

_Evarist._ Nina, why did I give you that fan?

_Nina._ That I might give it to Signorina Candida; but when I went to do so, the ladies would not let me speak, and turned me out of the house. I then wanted to give it back to you, and you would not have it, so I gave it to Crispino.

_Crispino._ And I fell down, and Coronato took it.

_Evarist._ But where is Coronato? How did it leave Coronato's hands?

_Crispino._ Don't call him! As he is not there, I will tell the truth. I was annoyed, went into the inn to fetch wine, saw it lying about, and carried it off.

_Evarist._ And what did you do with it then?

_Crispino._ I gave it to the Count.

_Count._ And I gave it to the Baron.

_Baron._ [_Contemptuously._] And then took it back again!

_Count._ Yes, and restored it to Signor Evarist.

_Evarist._ And I present it to Signorina Candida.

[Candida _accepts it with a deep courtesy, smiling sweetly._]

_Baron._ What comedy is all this? what complication have we here? Am I made ridiculous through your fault?

_Count._ I swear to Heaven, Signor Evarist, I swear to Heaven--

_Evarist._ Come, come, Count, do not distress yourself. We are friends. Give me a pinch of snuff.

_Count._ [_Offers him the box._] Yes, I am like that; if I am treated well, I don't excite myself.

_Baron._ You may not, but I do.

_Geltrude._ Baron!

_Baron._ And you, too, helped to make me ridiculous.

_Gertrude._ Excuse me; you don't know me, sir. I have not failed in my engagements. I listened to your proposals, my niece heard and accepted them, and I consented with pleasure.

_Count._ [_To the_ Baron.] You hear? That was because I spoke.

_Baron._ [_To_ Candida.] And you, Signorina Candida, why did you give me hope? why did you deceive me?

_Candida._ I must ask your forgiveness, sir. I was torn by two conflicting passions. The desire for revenge made me wish to be yours, and love gives me back to Evarist.

_Count._ I did not know this.

_Geltrude._ And if you had been a bolder lover and a sincerer friend, you would not have found yourself in this case.

_Baron._ It is true. I confess my passion, I condemn my weakness; but I despise the friendship and conduct of the Count. [_He salutes and moves off._]

_Count._ There, there, it is nothing. Let us be friends. We are joking. Among colleagues these things are understood. Come, let us think of these weddings.

_Geltrude._ Let us go into the house, and I hope all will be arranged to universal satisfaction.

[Candida _fans herself._]

_Geltrude._ Are you contented to have that much-desired fan in your hands?

_Candida._ I cannot express the measure of my content.

_Geltrude._ A great fan! It has turned all our heads, from the highest to the lowest.

_Candida._ [_To_ Susanna.] Is it from Paris, this fan?

_Susanna._ Yes, from Paris; I guarantee it.

_Geltrude._ Come, I invite you all to supper, and we will drink to this fan which did all the harm and brought about all the good.

THE SPENDTHRIFT MISER

(_AVARICE AND OSTENTATION_)

A COMEDY IN FIVE ACTS

DRAMATIS PERSONAE.

COUNT CASTELDORO. MARQUIS DEL BOSCO. CHEVALIER DEL BOSCO. GIACINTO. FRONTINO. FIORILLO. TAILOR. JEWELLER. ARAMINTA. ELEONORA. DORIMENE.

_Visitors and a Notary who do not speak._

_Scene--Paris._

THE SPENDTHRIFT MISER.

## ACT I.

## SCENE I.--Count.

_Count._ At last I am determined to marry. How! I marry! I, who have always avoided expense! I, who have detested all intercourse with ladies! Well, in this case, I am hurried away in my own despite. Ambition has induced me to obtain a title; therefore, should I die without children, my money is lost! and children themselves will but bring trouble! [_Calls._] Frontino!

## SCENE II.--_Enter_ Frontino.

_Front._ Here, sir!

_Count._ Hark ye!

_Front._ I have found a tailor, sir, as you ordered me; and a tailor of the first notoriety.

_Count._ Will he come directly?

_Front._ Very soon. He was obliged first to wait on a duke. I was lucky enough to find him at home when he was about to step into his coach.

_Count._ His coach?

_Front._ Yes, sir.

_Count._ His own coach? His own horses?

_Front._ Beyond all doubt. A superb carriage, and excellent nags.

_Count._ O Lord! He's too rich. Is he in repute?

_Front._ In the greatest. He works for the first families in Paris.

_Count._ But his honesty?

_Front._ On that subject I have nothing to say. But why, Signor Count, did you not employ your own tailor?

_Count._ Fie! My own tailor on such an occasion! I have need of several suits; and, as they must be grand, magnificent, and made to perfection, shall I, if any one should ask who is my tailor, shall I answer, "Signor Taccone," whose name nobody knows?

_Front._ Then, sir, from what I hear, you are soon to be married?

_Count._ So soon, that this very day, and in this very house, I am to sign the contract: I have therefore called you to give the necessary orders. On this occasion, I shall have a large company to dine with me, and must have such a dinner--in short, brilliant! grand! splendid! Not that I would satiate the indiscreet, or gorge my guests; but I would surprise, by an air of grandeur--you know what I mean?

_Front._ Yes, sir, tolerably well; but to do all this will not be quite so easy. I must inquire whether the cook--

_Count._ No, no, Frontino; I would not have you dependent on the caprice of a cook. Take the direction of everything upon yourself. I know your talents, the readiness of your wit, and your zeal for your master's interest. There is not in the whole world a man like Frontino! You can work miracles; and on such an occasion will surpass yourself.

_Front._ [_Aside._] Ha! his usual mode. Coaxing me when he wants me; but afterwards--

_Count._ Here is a list of the guests whom I have invited. My sister lives in this house, and my future spouse and her mother have the adjoining apartments. Here is a note of the other guests. We shall be thirty at table. Hasten to them all, and get a positive answer from each, that, in case of refusals, other persons may be invited.

_Front._ Thirty guests! Do you know, sir, how much a dinner for thirty will--

_Count._ Perfectly; and will employ your discretion to combine economy and magnificence.

_Front._ For example, you gave a supper a few nights ago to three gentlemen, and--

_Count._ Ay, that was a trifle; at present I would be talked of.

_Front._ But this trifling supper you thought so dear that--

_Count._ Lose no time in useless words.

_Front._ You threw the account in my face, and have not yet--

_Count._ Here is my sister. Begone!

_Front._ [_Aside._] O Lord! what will become of me? This time, friend Frontino, by way of recompense, prepare yourself to be kicked out of doors. [_Exit._

## SCENE III.--_Enter_ Dorimene.

_Count._ Good morning, dear sister; how do you do?

_Dor._ Perfectly well. How are you?

_Count._ Never better. Fortunate and happy man! I am to possess a bride of high birth and merit.

_Dor._ Then you are determined in favour of Eleonora?

_Count._ Ay, sweet sister! She is your relation; you proposed her to me, and I therefore have reason to give her the preference.

_Dor._ [_Ironically._] Her and her portion of one hundred thousand crowns, with as much more perhaps at the death of her mother.

_Count._ You will allow, sister, that such conditions are not to be despised.

_Dor._ True; but you, who are so--

_Count._ I understand you. A man like me, having sacrificed a considerable sum to obtain a title, should have endeavoured to marry into an illustrious family. I have thought much, and combated long this reigning inclination, but I know the prejudices of the old nobility; I must have paid dearly for the pompous honour of such an alliance.

_Dor._ That is not what I wish to say.