Part 23

‘And remember that there is nothing taught more explicitly in the New Testament, than that man should commune _directly_ with God without aid or intervention, chiefly by worship, and by using his will in every way to that end.

‘In very truth--_Vicisti, Galilæe!_ Thou hast conquered, O Christ!’

[17] Vide _Have you a Strong Will, etc._, by Charles Godfrey Leland. London: Philip Wellby.

BREITMANN’S LAST BALLAD

THERE was once an American hodge-podge, comic melodrama of a kind now passed away--in which there was heard from time to time ‘one warning trumpet blown’ behind the scenes, for no assignable reason ‘save to heighten the effect.’ This it invariably did, and especially after the curtain had fallen, when the clarion notes were heard as an Encore. Even so has it been with Breitmann in this book, and so at the end doth he sound Farewell as follows speaking from his very heart as to the war:

BREITMANN ON THE BOERS

Dot I war born a Deutscher is fery blain to see, Yet dere are dings in vitch I tont fall in mit Germany, Bein’ rader too cosmopolite--and hafe peen all along-- To dink a man should always go pro patria--right or wrong.

Usque ad aras an honest man may tramp, But if folk would take him furder he hat petter shoot de camp; Und I shtops right off my warblin’--of dot you may pe sure, If asked to sing in chorus mit any kind of Boer.

Somedimes, when in queer circles, dis ding is fery true, I hafe found mineself compulsioned to heurler avec les loups; Dot is to howlen mid de wolfs, but nefer yet, py jigs! Did I get to such abasement as to grüntsel mid de pigs!

You may read in der Zoölogie, or Natur Historie, Dot pigs are de most tyronical of all de peasts dot pe, For dey drives or stinks all oders away from where dey feed, Und dis is vot de Boers tried in Africa, indeed!

Und ash dey are most tyronical whene’er dey get a chance, So Fate is most ironical in endin’ deir romance, For dey’ve gone from pad to worser, and are endin’ de debates Mit all de world, in sympathie--excep’ de ’Nited States.

Und, exceptin’ yet again in dot, all dose who had been booted, Or sent away from Europe--id est, been ‘persecuted,’ Und who, as is but natural, did von and all agree, To persecute de nigger, wherefer he might pe!

Ash dere were books were printed two hundred years a-back, Of de horrors and de torments inflicted on der Black, By de Boers in far Sout’ Africa, among de slaves dey got, De Bushmen und de Kaffirs, likevise der Hottentot.

Now he who will beat a nigger, as I often heard dem say, Will torment a white man, if he dare, when von comed in his way; So de Boers in Sout’ Africa in monner most forbidst, Ottempted to compose oopon de English in deir midst.

Und dere dey all slopp’t ofer, forgettin’ dey might catch A chap mit bigger boots and soles, when in a kickin’ match. Yet dey kept der game agoin’ like der fery teufels at play, Und efen in a gorner some are kickin’ yet to-day.

So de Boern getten from Germans uncommon sympathie, Likevise from efery Frencher and de whole of Italy; Pecause dey are ‘few in numper,’ and likevise ‘fery prave,’ Which mit dem excuses eferything, howefer a man behave!

Now if your house vas burgled, I’ll bet upon my life, If der burgular should shoot your son, likevise pesides your wife, Dough he fought like der fery teufel, you hardly would fergive Der feller for all his pravery, and hope dot he might live!

But de cent in de molasses barrel, or de secret hid away Is dis--dot de Germans wantet for demselfs Sout’ Africa; Dey hat hopes dot a dime was comin’ when ofer all de land Dere wouldt rise a schmell of sauer kraut to der Medit’ranean.

Yoost as Fra Benevento, in his elegie sublime, Did hope der schmell of incense wouldt rise in efery clime, From blesset Roman Churches, so de Deutschers von and all Did dink dis blesset nonsense wouldt cerdainly pefal!

As for de liddle Fräntshmen, it is as plain as sin, Dey wanted Jean Boule out of Egypt, likewise demselfs darein’; Dough vot dey’d do if dey got dere is not fery blain to see: Dot is to judge by deir sookcess in any colonie.

Keep up dy heart, O England; maintain dy glorious pluck! Der von who bears most poundin’ is der von who gets de luck! For it is of ancient story und splendid as de stars: It is efer de freest people who endure de bitterest wars!

Keep up dy heart, O Britain, despite de envious jeers Of German, French or Dago, of suffering and tears; Whatefer fools have said to thee of errors in the past, Thou art Gott’s best civiliser, and wilt conquer at the last!

Printed by T. and A. CONSTABLE, (late) Printers to Her Majesty at the Edinburgh University Press

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES

- An em-dash was added to the epigraph in “Flaxius in India.”

- In “Flaxius and the Bookseller,” there is blockquote with long s (ſ). These have been retained since they seem to be an intended artistic decision.

- Some clear misspellings and wrong capitalizations were changed. Other inconsistent spelling and usage of diacritical marks in the original text have been preserved.

- Text between _underscores_ represents italics. Text between ~tilde symbols~ represent Blackletter.

- Footnotes have been renumbered and moved to the end of their sections.