Part 10

FACE. Sir, you were wont to affect mirth and wit-- But here's no place to talk on't in the street. Give me but leave to make the best of my fortune, And only pardon me the abuse of your house: It's all I beg. I'll help you to a widow, In recompence, that you shall give me thanks for, Will make you seven years younger, and a rich one. 'Tis but your putting on a Spanish cloak: I have her within. You need not fear the house; It was not visited.

LOVE. But by me, who came Sooner than you expected.

FACE. It is true, sir. 'Pray you forgive me.

LOVE. Well: let's see your widow.

[EXEUNT.]

## SCENE 5.2.

A ROOM IN THE SAME.

ENTER SUBTLE, LEADING IN DAPPER, WITH HIS EYES BOUND AS BEFORE.

SUB. How! you have eaten your gag?

DAP. Yes faith, it crumbled Away in my mouth.

SUB. You have spoil'd all then.

DAP. No! I hope my aunt of Fairy will forgive me.

SUB. Your aunt's a gracious lady; but in troth You were to blame.

DAP. The fume did overcome me, And I did do't to stay my stomach. 'Pray you So satisfy her grace. [ENTER FACE, IN HIS UNIFORM.] Here comes the captain.

FACE. How now! is his mouth down?

SUB. Ay, he has spoken!

FACE. A pox, I heard him, and you too. --He's undone then.-- I have been fain to say, the house is haunted With spirits, to keep churl back.

SUB. And hast thou done it?

FACE. Sure, for this night.

SUB. Why, then triumph and sing Of Face so famous, the precious king Of present wits.

FACE. Did you not hear the coil About the door?

SUB. Yes, and I dwindled with it.

FACE. Show him his aunt, and let him be dispatch'd: I'll send her to you.

[EXIT FACE.]

SUB. Well, sir, your aunt her grace Will give you audience presently, on my suit, And the captain's word that you did not eat your gag In any contempt of her highness.

[UNBINDS HIS EYES.]

DAP. Not I, in troth, sir.

[ENTER DOL, LIKE THE QUEEN OF FAIRY.]

SUB. Here she is come. Down o' your knees and wriggle: She has a stately presence. [DAPPER KNEELS, AND SHUFFLES TOWARDS HER.] Good! Yet nearer, And bid, God save you!

DAP. Madam!

SUB. And your aunt.

DAP. And my most gracious aunt, God save your grace.

DOL. Nephew, we thought to have been angry with you; But that sweet face of yours hath turn'd the tide, And made it flow with joy, that ebb'd of love. Arise, and touch our velvet gown.

SUB. The skirts, And kiss 'em. So!

DOL. Let me now stroak that head. "Much, nephew, shalt thou win, much shalt thou spend, Much shalt thou give away, much shalt thou lend."

SUB [ASIDE]. Ay, much! indeed.-- Why do you not thank her grace?

DAP. I cannot speak for joy.

SUB. See, the kind wretch! Your grace's kinsman right.

DOL. Give me the bird. Here is your fly in a purse, about your neck, cousin; Wear it, and feed it about this day sev'n-night, On your right wrist--

SUB. Open a vein with a pin, And let it suck but once a week; till then, You must not look on't.

DOL. No: and kinsman, Bear yourself worthy of the blood you come on.

SUB. Her grace would have you eat no more Woolsack pies, Nor Dagger frumety.

DOL. Nor break his fast In Heaven and Hell.

SUB. She's with you every where! Nor play with costarmongers, at mum-chance, tray-trip, God make you rich; (when as your aunt has done it); But keep The gallant'st company, and the best games--

DAP. Yes, sir.

SUB. Gleek and primero; and what you get, be true to us.

DAP. By this hand, I will.

SUB. You may bring's a thousand pound Before to-morrow night, if but three thousand Be stirring, an you will.

DAP. I swear I will then.

SUB. Your fly will learn you all games.

FACE [WITHIN]. Have you done there?

SUB. Your grace will command him no more duties?

DOL. No: But come, and see me often. I may chance To leave him three or four hundred chests of treasure, And some twelve thousand acres of fairy land, If he game well and comely with good gamesters.

SUB. There's a kind aunt! kiss her departing part.-- But you must sell your forty mark a year, now.

DAP. Ay, sir, I mean.

SUB. Or, give't away; pox on't!

DAP. I'll give't mine aunt. I'll go and fetch the writings.

[EXIT.]

SUB. 'Tis well--away!

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. Where's Subtle?

SUB. Here: what news?

FACE. Drugger is at the door, go take his suit, And bid him fetch a parson, presently; Say, he shall marry the widow. Thou shalt spend A hundred pound by the service! [EXIT SUBTLE.] Now, queen Dol, Have you pack'd up all?

DOL. Yes.

FACE. And how do you like The lady Pliant?

DOL. A good dull innocent.

[RE-ENTER SUBTLE.]

SUB. Here's your Hieronimo's cloak and hat.

FACE. Give me them.

SUB. And the ruff too?

FACE. Yes; I'll come to you presently.

[EXIT.]

SUB. Now he is gone about his project, Dol, I told you of, for the widow.

DOL. 'Tis direct Against our articles.

SUB. Well, we will fit him, wench. Hast thou gull'd her of her jewels or her bracelets?

DOL. No; but I will do't.

SUB. Soon at night, my Dolly, When we are shipp'd, and all our goods aboard, Eastward for Ratcliff, we will turn our course To Brainford, westward, if thou sayst the word, And take our leaves of this o'er-weening rascal, This peremptory Face.

DOL. Content, I'm weary of him.

SUB. Thou'st cause, when the slave will run a wiving, Dol, Against the instrument that was drawn between us.

DOL. I'll pluck his bird as bare as I can.

SUB. Yes, tell her, She must by any means address some present To the cunning man, make him amends for wronging His art with her suspicion; send a ring, Or chain of pearl; she will be tortured else Extremely in her sleep, say, and have strange things Come to her. Wilt thou?

DOL. Yes.

SUB. My fine flitter-mouse, My bird o' the night! we'll tickle it at the Pigeons, When we have all, and may unlock the trunks, And say, this's mine, and thine; and thine, and mine.

[THEY KISS.]

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. What now! a billing?

SUB. Yes, a little exalted In the good passage of our stock-affairs.

FACE. Drugger has brought his parson; take him in, Subtle, And send Nab back again to wash his face.

SUB. I will: and shave himself?

[EXIT.]

FACE. If you can get him.

DOL. You are hot upon it, Face, whate'er it is!

FACE. A trick that Dol shall spend ten pound a month by. [RE-ENTER SUBTLE.] Is he gone?

SUB. The chaplain waits you in the hall, sir.

FACE. I'll go bestow him.

[EXIT.]

DOL. He'll now marry her, instantly.

SUB. He cannot yet, he is not ready. Dear Dol, Cozen her of all thou canst. To deceive him Is no deceit, but justice, that would break Such an inextricable tie as ours was.

DOL. Let me alone to fit him.

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. Come, my venturers, You have pack'd up all? where be the trunks? bring forth.

SUB. Here.

FACE. Let us see them. Where's the money?

SUB. Here, In this.

FACE. Mammon's ten pound; eight score before: The brethren's money, this. Drugger's and Dapper's. What paper's that?

DOL. The jewel of the waiting maid's, That stole it from her lady, to know certain--

FACE. If she should have precedence of her mistress?

DOL. Yes.

FACE. What box is that?

SUB. The fish-wives' rings, I think, And the ale-wives' single money. Is't not, Dol?

DOL. Yes; and the whistle that the sailor's wife Brought you to know an her husband were with Ward.

FACE. We'll wet it to-morrow; and our silver-beakers And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats, And girdles and hangers?

SUB. Here, in the trunk, And the bolts of lawn.

FACE. Is Drugger's damask there, And the tobacco?

SUB. Yes.

FACE. Give me the keys.

DOL. Why you the keys?

SUB. No matter, Dol; because We shall not open them before he comes.

FACE. 'Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed; Nor have them forth, do you see? Not forth, Dol.

DOL. No!

FACE. No, my smock rampant. The right is, my master Knows all, has pardon'd me, and he will keep them; Doctor, 'tis true--you look--for all your figures: I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners, Both he and she be satisfied; for here Determines the indenture tripartite 'Twixt Subtle, Dol, and Face. All I can do Is to help you over the wall, o' the back-side, Or lend you a sheet to save your velvet gown, Dol. Here will be officers presently, bethink you Of some course suddenly to 'scape the dock: For thither you will come else. [LOUD KNOCKING.] Hark you, thunder.

SUB. You are a precious fiend!

OFFI [WITHOUT]. Open the door.

FACE. Dol, I am sorry for thee i'faith; but hear'st thou? It shall go hard but I will place thee somewhere: Thou shalt have my letter to mistress Amo--

DOL. Hang you!

FACE. Or madam Caesarean.

DOL. Pox upon you, rogue, Would I had but time to beat thee!

FACE. Subtle, Let's know where you set up next; I will send you A customer now and then, for old acquaintance: What new course have you?

SUB. Rogue, I'll hang myself; That I may walk a greater devil than thou, And haunt thee in the flock-bed and the buttery.

[EXEUNT.]

## SCENE 5.3.

AN OUTER ROOM IN THE SAME.

ENTER LOVEWIT IN THE SPANISH DRESS, WITH THE PARSON.

LOUD KNOCKING AT THE DOOR.

LOVE. What do you mean, my masters?

MAM [WITHOUT]. Open your door, Cheaters, bawds, conjurers.

OFFI [WITHOUT]. Or we will break it open.

LOVE. What warrant have you?

OFFI [WITHOUT]. Warrant enough, sir, doubt not, If you'll not open it.

LOVE. Is there an officer, there?

OFFI [WITHOUT]. Yes, two or three for failing.

LOVE. Have but patience, And I will open it straight.

[ENTER FACE, AS BUTLER.]

FACE. Sir, have you done? Is it a marriage? perfect?

LOVE. Yes, my brain.

FACE. Off with your ruff and cloak then; be yourself, sir.

SUR [WITHOUT]. Down with the door.

KAS [WITHOUT]. 'Slight, ding it open.

LOVE [OPENING THE DOOR]. Hold, Hold, gentlemen, what means this violence?

[MAMMON, SURLY, KASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRIBULATION, AND OFFICERS, RUSH IN.]

MAM. Where is this collier?

SUR. And my captain Face?

MAM. These day owls.

SUR. That are birding in men's purses.

MAM. Madam suppository.

KAS. Doxy, my suster.

ANA. Locusts Of the foul pit.

TRI. Profane as Bel and the dragon.

ANA. Worse than the grasshoppers, or the lice of Egypt.

LOVE. Good gentlemen, hear me. Are you officers, And cannot stay this violence?

1 OFFI. Keep the peace.

LOVE. Gentlemen, what is the matter? whom do you seek?

MAM. The chemical cozener.

SUR. And the captain pander.

KAS. The nun my suster.

MAM. Madam Rabbi.

ANA. Scorpions, And caterpillars.

LOVE. Fewer at once, I pray you.

2 OFFI. One after another, gentlemen, I charge you, By virtue of my staff.

ANA. They are the vessels Of pride, lust, and the cart.

LOVE. Good zeal, lie still A little while.

TRI. Peace, deacon Ananias.

LOVE. The house is mine here, and the doors are open; If there be any such persons as you seek for, Use your authority, search on o' God's name. I am but newly come to town, and finding This tumult 'bout my door, to tell you true, It somewhat mazed me; till my man, here, fearing My more displeasure, told me he had done Somewhat an insolent part, let out my house (Belike, presuming on my known aversion From any air o' the town while there was sickness,) To a doctor and a captain: who, what they are Or where they be, he knows not.

MAM. Are they gone?

LOVE. You may go in and search, sir. [MAMMON, ANA., AND TRIB. GO IN.] Here, I find The empty walls worse than I left them, smoak'd, A few crack'd pots, and glasses, and a furnace: The ceiling fill'd with poesies of the candle, And madam with a dildo writ o' the walls: Only one gentlewoman, I met here, That is within, that said she was a widow--

KAS. Ay, that's my suster; I'll go thump her. Where is she?

[GOES IN.]

LOVE. And should have married a Spanish count, but he, When he came to't, neglected her so grossly, That I, a widower, am gone through with her.

SUR. How! have I lost her then?

LOVE. Were you the don, sir? Good faith, now, she does blame you extremely, and says You swore, and told her you had taken the pains To dye your beard, and umber o'er your face, Borrowed a suit, and ruff, all for her love; And then did nothing. What an oversight, And want of putting forward, sir, was this! Well fare an old harquebuzier, yet, Could prime his powder, and give fire, and hit, All in a twinkling!

[RE-ENTER MAMMON.]

MAM. The whole nest are fled!

LOVE. What sort of birds were they?

MAM. A kind of choughs, Or thievish daws, sir, that have pick'd my purse Of eight score and ten pounds within these five weeks, Beside my first materials; and my goods, That lie in the cellar, which I am glad they have left, I may have home yet.

LOVE. Think you so, sir?

MAM. Ay.

LOVE. By order of law, sir, but not otherwise.

MAM. Not mine own stuff!

LOVE. Sir, I can take no knowledge That they are yours, but by public means. If you can bring certificate that you were gull'd of them, Or any formal writ out of a court, That you did cozen your self, I will not hold them.

MAM. I'll rather lose them.

LOVE. That you shall not, sir, By me, in troth: upon these terms, they are yours. What! should they have been, sir, turn'd into gold, all?

MAM. No, I cannot tell--It may be they should.--What then?

LOVE. What a great loss in hope have you sustain'd!

MAM. Not I, the commonwealth has.

FACE. Ay, he would have built The city new; and made a ditch about it Of silver, should have run with cream from Hogsden; That every Sunday, in Moorfields, the younkers, And tits and tom-boys should have fed on, gratis.

MAM. I will go mount a turnip-cart, and preach The end of the world, within these two months. Surly, What! in a dream?

SUR. Must I needs cheat myself, With that same foolish vice of honesty! Come, let us go and hearken out the rogues: That Face I'll mark for mine, if e'er I meet him.

FACE. If I can hear of him, sir, I'll bring you word, Unto your lodging; for in troth, they were strangers To me, I thought them honest as my self, sir.

[EXEUNT MAM. AND SUR.]

[RE-ENTER ANANIAS AND TRIBULATION.]

TRI. 'Tis well, the saints shall not lose all yet. Go, And get some carts--

LOVE. For what, my zealous friends?

ANA. To bear away the portion of the righteous Out of this den of thieves.

LOVE. What is that portion?

ANA. The goods sometimes the orphan's, that the brethren Bought with their silver pence.

LOVE. What, those in the cellar, The knight sir Mammon claims?

ANA. I do defy The wicked Mammon, so do all the brethren, Thou profane man! I ask thee with what conscience Thou canst advance that idol against us, That have the seal? were not the shillings number'd, That made the pounds; were not the pounds told out, Upon the second day of the fourth week, In the eighth month, upon the table dormant, The year of the last patience of the saints, Six hundred and ten?

LOVE. Mine earnest vehement botcher, And deacon also, I cannot dispute with you: But if you get you not away the sooner, I shall confute you with a cudgel.

ANA. Sir!

TRI. Be patient, Ananias.

ANA. I am strong, And will stand up, well girt, against an host That threaten Gad in exile.

LOVE. I shall send you To Amsterdam, to your cellar.

ANA. I will pray there, Against thy house: may dogs defile thy walls, And wasps and hornets breed beneath thy roof, This seat of falsehood, and this cave of cozenage!

[EXEUNT ANA. AND TRIB.]

[ENTER DRUGGER.]

LOVE. Another too?

DRUG. Not I, sir, I am no brother.

LOVE [BEATS HIM]. Away, you Harry Nicholas! do you talk?

[EXIT DRUG.]

FACE. No, this was Abel Drugger. Good sir, go, [TO THE PARSON.] And satisfy him; tell him all is done: He staid too long a washing of his face. The doctor, he shall hear of him at West-chester; And of the captain, tell him, at Yarmouth, or Some good port-town else, lying for a wind. [EXIT PARSON.] If you can get off the angry child, now, sir--

[ENTER KASTRIL, DRAGGING IN HIS SISTER.]

KAS. Come on, you ewe, you have match'd most sweetly, have you not? Did not I say, I would never have you tupp'd But by a dubb'd boy, to make you a lady-tom? 'Slight, you are a mammet! O, I could touse you, now. Death, mun' you marry, with a pox!

LOVE. You lie, boy; As sound as you; and I'm aforehand with you.

KAS. Anon!

LOVE. Come, will you quarrel? I will feize you, sirrah; Why do you not buckle to your tools?

KAS. Od's light, This is a fine old boy as e'er I saw!

LOVE. What, do you change your copy now? proceed; Here stands my dove: stoop at her, if you dare.

KAS. 'Slight, I must love him! I cannot choose, i'faith, An I should be hang'd for't! Suster, I protest, I honour thee for this match.

LOVE. O, do you so, sir?

KAS. Yes, an thou canst take tobacco and drink, old boy, I'll give her five hundred pound more to her marriage, Than her own state.

LOVE. Fill a pipe full, Jeremy.

FACE. Yes; but go in and take it, sir.

LOVE. We will-- I will be ruled by thee in any thing, Jeremy.

KAS. 'Slight, thou art not hide-bound, thou art a jovy boy! Come, let us in, I pray thee, and take our whiffs.

LOVE. Whiff in with your sister, brother boy. [EXEUNT KAS. AND DAME P.] That master That had received such happiness by a servant, In such a widow, and with so much wealth, Were very ungrateful, if he would not be A little indulgent to that servant's wit, And help his fortune, though with some small strain Of his own candour. [ADVANCING.] --"Therefore, gentlemen, And kind spectators, if I have outstript An old man's gravity, or strict canon, think What a young wife and a good brain may do; Stretch age's truth sometimes, and crack it too. Speak for thy self, knave."

FACE. "So I will, sir." [ADVANCING TO THE FRONT OF THE STAGE.] "Gentlemen, My part a little fell in this last scene, Yet 'twas decorum. And though I am clean Got off from Subtle, Surly, Mammon, Dol, Hot Ananias, Dapper, Drugger, all With whom I traded: yet I put my self On you, that are my country: and this pelf Which I have got, if you do quit me, rests To feast you often, and invite new guests."

[EXEUNT.]

*****

GLOSSARY

ABATE, cast down, subdue.

ABHORRING, repugnant (to), at variance.

ABJECT, base, degraded thing, outcast.

ABRASE, smooth, blank.

ABSOLUTE(LY), faultless(ly).

ABSTRACTED, abstract, abstruse.

ABUSE, deceive, insult, dishonour, make ill use of.

ACATER, caterer.

ACATES, cates.

ACCEPTIVE, willing, ready to accept, receive.

ACCOMMODATE, fit, befitting. (The word was a fashionable one and used on all occasions. See "Henry IV.," pt. 2, iii. 4).

ACCOST, draw near, approach.

ACKNOWN, confessedly acquainted with.

ACME, full maturity.

ADALANTADO, lord deputy or governor of a Spanish province.

ADJECTION, addition.

ADMIRATION, astonishment.

ADMIRE, wonder, wonder at.

ADROP, philosopher's stone, or substance from which obtained.

ADSCRIVE, subscribe.

ADULTERATE, spurious, counterfeit.

ADVANCE, lift.

ADVERTISE, inform, give intelligence.

ADVERTISED, "be--," be it known to you.

ADVERTISEMENT, intelligence.

ADVISE, consider, bethink oneself, deliberate.

ADVISED, informed, aware; "are you--?" have you found that out?

AFFECT, love, like; aim at; move.

AFFECTED, disposed; beloved.

AFFECTIONATE, obstinate; prejudiced.

AFFECTS, affections.

AFFRONT, "give the--," face.

AFFY, have confidence in; betroth.

AFTER, after the manner of.

AGAIN, AGAINST, in anticipation of.

AGGRAVATE, increase, magnify, enlarge upon.

AGNOMINATION. See Paranomasie.

AIERY, nest, brood.

AIM, guess.

ALL HID, children's cry at hide-and-seek.

ALL-TO, completely, entirely ("all-to-be-laden").

ALLOWANCE, approbation, recognition.

ALMA-CANTARAS (astronomy), parallels of altitude.

ALMAIN, name of a dance.

ALMUTEN, planet of chief influence in the horoscope.

ALONE, unequalled, without peer.

ALUDELS, subliming pots.

AMAZED, confused, perplexed.

AMBER, AMBRE, ambergris.

AMBREE, MARY, a woman noted for her valour at the siege of Ghent, 1458.

AMES-ACE, lowest throw at dice.

AMPHIBOLIES, ambiguities.

AMUSED, bewildered, amazed.

AN, if.

ANATOMY, skeleton, or dissected body.

ANDIRONS, fire-dogs.

ANGEL, gold coin worth 10 shillings, stamped with the figure of the archangel Michael.

ANNESH CLEARE, spring known as Agnes le Clare.

ANSWER, return hit in fencing.

ANTIC, ANTIQUE, clown, buffoon.

ANTIC, like a buffoon.

ANTIPERISTASIS, an opposition which enhances the quality it opposes.

APOZEM, decoction.

APPERIL, peril.

APPLE-JOHN, APPLE-SQUIRE, pimp, pander.

APPLY, attach.

APPREHEND, take into custody.

APPREHENSIVE, quick of perception; able to perceive and appreciate.

APPROVE, prove, confirm.

APT, suit, adapt; train, prepare; dispose, incline.

APT(LY), suitable(y), opportune(ly).

APTITUDE, suitableness.

ARBOR, "make the--," cut up the game (Gifford).

ARCHES, Court of Arches.

ARCHIE, Archibald Armstrong, jester to James I. and Charles I.

ARGAILE, argol, crust or sediment in wine casks.

ARGENT-VIVE, quicksilver.

ARGUMENT, plot of a drama; theme, subject; matter in question; token, proof.

ARRIDE, please.

ARSEDINE, mixture of copper and zinc, used as an imitation of gold-leaf.

ARTHUR, PRINCE, reference to an archery show by a society who assumed arms, etc., of Arthur's knights.

ARTICLE, item.

ARTIFICIALLY, artfully.

ASCENSION, evaporation, distillation.

ASPIRE, try to reach, obtain, long for.

ASSALTO (Italian), assault.

ASSAY, draw a knife along the belly of the deer, a ceremony of the hunting-field.

ASSOIL, solve.

ASSURE, secure possession or reversion of.

ATHANOR, a digesting furnace, calculated to keep up a constant heat.

ATONE, reconcile.

ATTACH, attack, seize.

AUDACIOUS, having spirit and confidence.

AUTHENTIC(AL), of authority, authorised, trustworthy, genuine.

AVISEMENT, reflection, consideration.

AVOID, begone! get rid of.

AWAY WITH, endure.

AZOCH, Mercurius Philosophorum.

BABION, baboon.

BABY, doll.

BACK-SIDE, back premises.

BAFFLE, treat with contempt.

BAGATINE, Italian coin, worth about the third of a farthing.

BAIARD, horse of magic powers known to old romance.

BALDRICK, belt worn across the breast to support bugle, etc.

BALE (of dice), pair.

BALK, overlook, pass by, avoid.

BALLACE, ballast.

BALLOO, game at ball.

BALNEUM (BAIN MARIE), a vessel for holding hot water in which other vessels are stood for heating.

BANBURY, "brother of--," Puritan.

BANDOG, dog tied or chained up.

BANE, woe, ruin.

BANQUET, a light repast; dessert.

BARB, to clip gold.

BARBEL, fresh-water fish.

BARE, meer; bareheaded; it was "a particular mark of state and grandeur for the coachman to be uncovered" (Gifford).

BARLEY-BREAK, game somewhat similar to base.

BASE, game of prisoner's base.

BASES, richly embroidered skirt reaching to the knees, or lower.

BASILISK, fabulous reptile, believed to slay with its eye.

BASKET, used for the broken provision collected for prisoners.

BASON, basons, etc., were beaten by the attendant mob when bad characters were "carted."

BATE, be reduced; abate, reduce.

BATOON, baton, stick.

BATTEN, feed, grow fat.

BAWSON, badger.

BEADSMAN, prayer-man, one engaged to pray for another.

BEAGLE, small hound; fig. spy.

BEAR IN HAND, keep in suspense, deceive with false hopes.

BEARWARD, bear leader.

BEDPHERE. See Phere.