Part 4

DAP. Ay, I am very glad. I had a scurvy writ or two to make, And I had lent my watch last night to one That dines to-day at the sheriff's, and so was robb'd Of my past-time. [RE-ENTER SUBTLE IN HIS VELVET CAP AND GOWN.] Is this the cunning-man?

FACE. This is his worship.

DAP. Is he a doctor?

FACE. Yes.

DAP. And have you broke with him, captain?

FACE. Ay.

DAP. And how?

FACE. Faith, he does make the matter, sir, so dainty I know not what to say.

DAP. Not so, good captain.

FACE. Would I were fairly rid of it, believe me.

DAP. Nay, now you grieve me, sir. Why should you wish so? I dare assure you, I'll not be ungrateful.

FACE. I cannot think you will, sir. But the law Is such a thing--and then he says, Read's matter Falling so lately.

DAP. Read! he was an ass, And dealt, sir, with a fool.

FACE. It was a clerk, sir.

DAP. A clerk!

FACE. Nay, hear me, sir. You know the law Better, I think--

DAP. I should, sir, and the danger: You know, I shewed the statute to you.

FACE. You did so.

DAP. And will I tell then! By this hand of flesh, Would it might never write good court-hand more, If I discover. What do you think of me, That I am a chiaus?

FACE. What's that?

DAP. The Turk was here. As one would say, do you think I am a Turk?

FACE. I'll tell the doctor so.

DAP. Do, good sweet captain.

FACE. Come, noble doctor, pray thee let's prevail; This is the gentleman, and he is no chiaus.

SUB. Captain, I have return'd you all my answer. I would do much, sir, for your love--But this I neither may, nor can.

FACE. Tut, do not say so. You deal now with a noble fellow, doctor, One that will thank you richly; and he is no chiaus: Let that, sir, move you.

SUB. Pray you, forbear--

FACE. He has Four angels here.

SUB. You do me wrong, good sir.

FACE. Doctor, wherein? to tempt you with these spirits?

SUB. To tempt my art and love, sir, to my peril. Fore heaven, I scarce can think you are my friend, That so would draw me to apparent danger.

FACE. I draw you! a horse draw you, and a halter, You, and your flies together--

DAP. Nay, good captain.

FACE. That know no difference of men.

SUB. Good words, sir.

FACE. Good deeds, sir, doctor dogs-meat. 'Slight, I bring you No cheating Clim o' the Cloughs or Claribels, That look as big as five-and-fifty, and flush; And spit out secrets like hot custard--

DAP. Captain!

FACE. Nor any melancholic under-scribe, Shall tell the vicar; but a special gentle, That is the heir to forty marks a year, Consorts with the small poets of the time, Is the sole hope of his old grandmother; That knows the law, and writes you six fair hands, Is a fine clerk, and has his cyphering perfect. Will take his oath o' the Greek Testament, If need be, in his pocket; and can court His mistress out of Ovid.

DAP. Nay, dear captain--

FACE. Did you not tell me so?

DAP. Yes; but I'd have you Use master doctor with some more respect.

FACE. Hang him, proud stag, with his broad velvet head!-- But for your sake, I'd choak, ere I would change An article of breath with such a puckfist: Come, let's be gone.

[GOING.]

SUB. Pray you let me speak with you.

DAP. His worship calls you, captain.

FACE. I am sorry I e'er embark'd myself in such a business.

DAP. Nay, good sir; he did call you.

FACE. Will he take then?

SUB. First, hear me--

FACE. Not a syllable, 'less you take.

SUB. Pray you, sir--

FACE. Upon no terms but an assumpsit.

SUB. Your humour must be law. [HE TAKES THE FOUR ANGELS.]

FACE. Why now, sir, talk. Now I dare hear you with mine honour. Speak. So may this gentleman too.

SUB. Why, sir-- [OFFERING TO WHISPER FACE.]

FACE. No whispering.

SUB. Fore heaven, you do not apprehend the loss You do yourself in this.

FACE. Wherein? for what?

SUB. Marry, to be so importunate for one, That, when he has it, will undo you all: He'll win up all the money in the town.

FACE. How!

SUB. Yes, and blow up gamester after gamester, As they do crackers in a puppet-play. If I do give him a familiar, Give you him all you play for; never set him: For he will have it.

FACE. You are mistaken, doctor. Why he does ask one but for cups and horses, A rifling fly; none of your great familiars.

DAP. Yes, captain, I would have it for all games.

SUB. I told you so.

FACE [TAKING DAP. ASIDE]. 'Slight, that is a new business! I understood you, a tame bird, to fly Twice in a term, or so, on Friday nights, When you had left the office, for a nag Of forty or fifty shillings.

DAP. Ay, 'tis true, sir; But I do think now I shall leave the law, And therefore--

FACE. Why, this changes quite the case. Do you think that I dare move him?

DAP. If you please, sir; All's one to him, I see.

FACE. What! for that money? I cannot with my conscience; nor should you Make the request, methinks.

DAP. No, sir, I mean To add consideration.

FACE. Why then, sir, I'll try.-- [GOES TO SUBTLE.] Say that it were for all games, doctor.

SUB. I say then, not a mouth shall eat for him At any ordinary, but on the score, That is a gaming mouth, conceive me.

FACE. Indeed!

SUB. He'll draw you all the treasure of the realm, If it be set him.

FACE. Speak you this from art?

SUB. Ay, sir, and reason too, the ground of art. He is of the only best complexion, The queen of Fairy loves.

FACE. What! is he?

SUB. Peace. He'll overhear you. Sir, should she but see him--

FACE. What?

SUB. Do not you tell him.

FACE. Will he win at cards too?

SUB. The spirits of dead Holland, living Isaac, You'd swear, were in him; such a vigorous luck As cannot be resisted. 'Slight, he'll put Six of your gallants to a cloke, indeed.

FACE. A strange success, that some man shall be born to.

SUB. He hears you, man--

DAP. Sir, I'll not be ingrateful.

FACE. Faith, I have confidence in his good nature: You hear, he says he will not be ingrateful.

SUB. Why, as you please; my venture follows yours.

FACE. Troth, do it, doctor; think him trusty, and make him. He may make us both happy in an hour; Win some five thousand pound, and send us two on't.

DAP. Believe it, and I will, sir.

FACE. And you shall, sir. [TAKES HIM ASIDE.] You have heard all?

DAP. No, what was't? Nothing, I, sir.

FACE. Nothing!

DAP. A little, sir.

FACE. Well, a rare star Reign'd at your birth.

DAP. At mine, sir! No.

FACE. The doctor Swears that you are--

SUB. Nay, captain, you'll tell all now.

FACE. Allied to the queen of Fairy.

DAP. Who! that I am? Believe it, no such matter--

FACE. Yes, and that You were born with a cawl on your head.

DAP. Who says so?

FACE. Come, You know it well enough, though you dissemble it.

DAP. I'fac, I do not; you are mistaken.

FACE. How! Swear by your fac, and in a thing so known Unto the doctor? How shall we, sir, trust you In the other matter? can we ever think, When you have won five or six thousand pound, You'll send us shares in't, by this rate?

DAP. By Jove, sir, I'll win ten thousand pound, and send you half. I'fac's no oath.

SUB. No, no, he did but jest.

FACE. Go to. Go thank the doctor: he's your friend, To take it so.

DAP. I thank his worship.

FACE. So! Another angel.

DAP. Must I?

FACE. Must you! 'slight, What else is thanks? will you be trivial?--Doctor, [DAPPER GIVES HIM THE MONEY.] When must he come for his familiar?

DAP. Shall I not have it with me?

SUB. O, good sir! There must a world of ceremonies pass; You must be bath'd and fumigated first: Besides the queen of Fairy does not rise Till it be noon.

FACE. Not, if she danced, to-night.

SUB. And she must bless it.

FACE. Did you never see Her royal grace yet?

DAP. Whom?

FACE. Your aunt of Fairy?

SUB. Not since she kist him in the cradle, captain; I can resolve you that.

FACE. Well, see her grace, Whate'er it cost you, for a thing that I know. It will be somewhat hard to compass; but However, see her. You are made, believe it, If you can see her. Her grace is a lone woman, And very rich; and if she take a fancy, She will do strange things. See her, at any hand. 'Slid, she may hap to leave you all she has: It is the doctor's fear.

DAP. How will't be done, then?

FACE. Let me alone, take you no thought. Do you But say to me, captain, I'll see her grace.

DAP. "Captain, I'll see her grace."

FACE. Enough.

[KNOCKING WITHIN.]

SUB. Who's there? Anon. [ASIDE TO FACE.] --Conduct him forth by the back way.-- Sir, against one o'clock prepare yourself; Till when you must be fasting; only take Three drops of vinegar in at your nose, Two at your mouth, and one at either ear; Then bathe your fingers' ends and wash your eyes, To sharpen your five senses, and cry "hum" Thrice, and then "buz" as often; and then come.

[EXIT.]

FACE. Can you remember this?

DAP. I warrant you.

FACE. Well then, away. It is but your bestowing Some twenty nobles 'mong her grace's servants, And put on a clean shirt: you do not know What grace her grace may do you in clean linen.

[EXEUNT FACE AND DAPPER.]

SUB [WITHIN]. Come in! Good wives, I pray you forbear me now; Troth I can do you no good till afternoon-- [RE-ENTERS, FOLLOWED BY DRUGGER.] What is your name, say you? Abel Drugger?

DRUG. Yes, sir.

SUB. A seller of tobacco?

DRUG. Yes, sir.

SUB. Umph! Free of the grocers?

DRUG. Ay, an't please you.

SUB. Well-- Your business, Abel?

DRUG. This, an't please your worship; I am a young beginner, and am building Of a new shop, an't like your worship, just At corner of a street:--Here is the plot on't-- And I would know by art, sir, of your worship, Which way I should make my door, by necromancy, And where my shelves; and which should be for boxes, And which for pots. I would be glad to thrive, sir: And I was wish'd to your worship by a gentleman, One captain Face, that says you know men's planets, And their good angels, and their bad.

SUB. I do, If I do see them--

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. What! my honest Abel? Though art well met here.

DRUG. Troth, sir, I was speaking, Just as your worship came here, of your worship: I pray you speak for me to master doctor.

FACE. He shall do any thing.--Doctor, do you hear? This is my friend, Abel, an honest fellow; He lets me have good tobacco, and he does not Sophisticate it with sack-lees or oil, Nor washes it in muscadel and grains, Nor buries it in gravel, under ground, Wrapp'd up in greasy leather, or piss'd clouts: But keeps it in fine lily pots, that, open'd, Smell like conserve of roses, or French beans. He has his maple block, his silver tongs, Winchester pipes, and fire of Juniper: A neat, spruce, honest fellow, and no goldsmith.

SUB. He is a fortunate fellow, that I am sure on.

FACE. Already, sir, have you found it? Lo thee, Abel!

SUB. And in right way toward riches--

FACE. Sir!

SUB. This summer He will be of the clothing of his company, And next spring call'd to the scarlet; spend what he can.

FACE. What, and so little beard?

SUB. Sir, you must think, He may have a receipt to make hair come: But he'll be wise, preserve his youth, and fine for't; His fortune looks for him another way.

FACE. 'Slid, doctor, how canst thou know this so soon? I am amused at that!

SUB. By a rule, captain, In metoposcopy, which I do work by; A certain star in the forehead, which you see not. Your chestnut or your olive-colour'd face Does never fail: and your long ear doth promise. I knew't by certain spots, too, in his teeth, And on the nail of his mercurial finger.

FACE. Which finger's that?

SUB. His little finger. Look. You were born upon a Wednesday?

DRUG. Yes, indeed, sir.

SUB. The thumb, in chiromancy, we give Venus; The fore-finger, to Jove; the midst, to Saturn; The ring, to Sol; the least, to Mercury, Who was the lord, sir, of his horoscope, His house of life being Libra; which fore-shew'd, He should be a merchant, and should trade with balance.

FACE. Why, this is strange! Is it not, honest Nab?

SUB. There is a ship now, coming from Ormus, That shall yield him such a commodity Of drugs [POINTING TO THE PLAN.] --This is the west, and this the south?

DRUG. Yes, sir.

SUB. And those are your two sides?

DRUG. Ay, sir.

SUB. Make me your door, then, south; your broad side, west: And on the east side of your shop, aloft, Write Mathlai, Tarmiel, and Baraborat; Upon the north part, Rael, Velel, Thiel. They are the names of those mercurial spirits, That do fright flies from boxes.

DRUG. Yes, sir.

SUB. And Beneath your threshold, bury me a load-stone To draw in gallants that wear spurs: the rest, They'll seem to follow.

FACE. That's a secret, Nab!

SUB. And, on your stall, a puppet, with a vice And a court-fucus to call city-dames: You shall deal much with minerals.

DRUG. Sir, I have. At home, already--

SUB. Ay, I know you have arsenic, Vitriol, sal-tartar, argaile, alkali, Cinoper: I know all.--This fellow, captain, Will come, in time, to be a great distiller, And give a say--I will not say directly, But very fair--at the philosopher's stone.

FACE. Why, how now, Abel! is this true?

DRUG [ASIDE TO FACE]. Good captain, What must I give?

FACE. Nay, I'll not counsel thee. Thou hear'st what wealth (he says, spend what thou canst,) Thou'rt like to come to.

DRUG. I would gi' him a crown.

FACE. A crown! and toward such a fortune? heart, Thou shalt rather gi' him thy shop. No gold about thee?

DRUG. Yes, I have a portague, I have kept this half-year.

FACE. Out on thee, Nab! 'Slight, there was such an offer-- Shalt keep't no longer, I'll give't him for thee. Doctor, Nab prays your worship to drink this, and swears He will appear more grateful, as your skill Does raise him in the world.

DRUG. I would entreat Another favour of his worship.

FACE. What is't, Nab?

DRUG. But to look over, sir, my almanack, And cross out my ill-days, that I may neither Bargain, nor trust upon them.

FACE. That he shall, Nab: Leave it, it shall be done, 'gainst afternoon.

SUB. And a direction for his shelves.

FACE. Now, Nab, Art thou well pleased, Nab?

DRUG. 'Thank, sir, both your worships.

FACE. Away. [EXIT DRUGGER.] Why, now, you smoaky persecutor of nature! Now do you see, that something's to be done, Beside your beech-coal, and your corsive waters, Your crosslets, crucibles, and cucurbites? You must have stuff brought home to you, to work on: And yet you think, I am at no expense In searching out these veins, then following them, Then trying them out. 'Fore God, my intelligence Costs me more money, than my share oft comes to, In these rare works.

SUB. You are pleasant, sir. [RE-ENTER DOL.] --How now! What says my dainty Dolkin?

DOL. Yonder fish-wife Will not away. And there's your giantess, The bawd of Lambeth.

SUB. Heart, I cannot speak with them.

DOL. Not afore night, I have told them in a voice, Thorough the trunk, like one of your familiars. But I have spied sir Epicure Mammon--

SUB. Where?

DOL. Coming along, at far end of the lane, Slow of his feet, but earnest of his tongue To one that's with him.

SUB. Face, go you and shift. [EXIT FACE.] Dol, you must presently make ready, too.

DOL. Why, what's the matter?

SUB. O, I did look for him With the sun's rising: 'marvel he could sleep, This is the day I am to perfect for him The magisterium, our great work, the stone; And yield it, made, into his hands: of which He has, this month, talked as he were possess'd. And now he's dealing pieces on't away.-- Methinks I see him entering ordinaries, Dispensing for the pox, and plaguy houses, Reaching his dose, walking Moorfields for lepers, And offering citizens' wives pomander-bracelets, As his preservative, made of the elixir; Searching the spittal, to make old bawds young; And the highways, for beggars, to make rich. I see no end of his labours. He will make Nature asham'd of her long sleep: when art, Who's but a step-dame, shall do more than she, In her best love to mankind, ever could: If his dream lasts, he'll turn the age to gold.

[EXEUNT.]

## ACT 2. SCENE 2.1.

AN OUTER ROOM IN LOVEWIT'S HOUSE.

ENTER SIR EPICURE MAMMON AND SURLY.

MAM. Come on, sir. Now, you set your foot on shore In Novo Orbe; here's the rich Peru: And there within, sir, are the golden mines, Great Solomon's Ophir! he was sailing to't, Three years, but we have reached it in ten months. This is the day, wherein, to all my friends, I will pronounce the happy word, BE RICH; THIS DAY YOU SHALL BE SPECTATISSIMI. You shall no more deal with the hollow dye, Or the frail card. No more be at charge of keeping The livery-punk for the young heir, that must Seal, at all hours, in his shirt: no more, If he deny, have him beaten to't, as he is That brings him the commodity. No more Shall thirst of satin, or the covetous hunger Of velvet entrails for a rude-spun cloke, To be display'd at madam Augusta's, make The sons of Sword and Hazard fall before The golden calf, and on their knees, whole nights Commit idolatry with wine and trumpets: Or go a feasting after drum and ensign. No more of this. You shall start up young viceroys, And have your punks, and punketees, my Surly. And unto thee I speak it first, BE RICH. Where is my Subtle, there? Within, ho!

FACE [WITHIN]. Sir, he'll come to you by and by.

MAM. That is his fire-drake, His Lungs, his Zephyrus, he that puffs his coals, Till he firk nature up, in her own centre. You are not faithful, sir. This night, I'll change All that is metal, in my house, to gold: And, early in the morning, will I send To all the plumbers and the pewterers, And by their tin and lead up; and to Lothbury For all the copper.

SUR. What, and turn that too?

MAM. Yes, and I'll purchase Devonshire and Cornwall, And make them perfect Indies! you admire now?

SUR. No, faith.

MAM. But when you see th' effects of the Great Medicine, Of which one part projected on a hundred Of Mercury, or Venus, or the moon, Shall turn it to as many of the sun; Nay, to a thousand, so ad infinitum: You will believe me.

SUR. Yes, when I see't, I will. But if my eyes do cozen me so, and I Giving them no occasion, sure I'll have A whore, shall piss them out next day.

MAM. Ha! why? Do you think I fable with you? I assure you, He that has once the flower of the sun, The perfect ruby, which we call elixir, Not only can do that, but, by its virtue, Can confer honour, love, respect, long life; Give safety, valour, yea, and victory, To whom he will. In eight and twenty days, I'll make an old man of fourscore, a child.

SUR. No doubt; he's that already.

MAM. Nay, I mean, Restore his years, renew him, like an eagle, To the fifth age; make him get sons and daughters, Young giants; as our philosophers have done, The ancient patriarchs, afore the flood, But taking, once a week, on a knife's point, The quantity of a grain of mustard of it; Become stout Marses, and beget young Cupids.

SUR. The decay'd vestals of Pict-hatch would thank you, That keep the fire alive, there.

MAM. 'Tis the secret Of nature naturis'd 'gainst all infections, Cures all diseases coming of all causes; A month's grief in a day, a year's in twelve; And, of what age soever, in a month: Past all the doses of your drugging doctors. I'll undertake, withal, to fright the plague Out of the kingdom in three months.

SUR. And I'll Be bound, the players shall sing your praises, then, Without their poets.

MAM. Sir, I'll do't. Mean time, I'll give away so much unto my man, Shall serve the whole city, with preservative Weekly; each house his dose, and at the rate--

SUR. As he that built the Water-work, does with water?

MAM. You are incredulous.

SUR. Faith I have a humour, I would not willingly be gull'd. Your stone Cannot transmute me.

MAM. Pertinax, [my] Surly, Will you believe antiquity? records? I'll shew you a book where Moses and his sister, And Solomon have written of the art; Ay, and a treatise penn'd by Adam--

SUR. How!

MAM. Of the philosopher's stone, and in High Dutch.

SUR. Did Adam write, sir, in High Dutch?

MAM. He did; Which proves it was the primitive tongue.

SUR. What paper?

MAM. On cedar board.

SUR. O that, indeed, they say, Will last 'gainst worms.

MAM. 'Tis like your Irish wood, 'Gainst cob-webs. I have a piece of Jason's fleece, too, Which was no other than a book of alchemy, Writ in large sheep-skin, a good fat ram-vellum. Such was Pythagoras' thigh, Pandora's tub, And, all that fable of Medea's charms, The manner of our work; the bulls, our furnace, Still breathing fire; our argent-vive, the dragon: The dragon's teeth, mercury sublimate, That keeps the whiteness, hardness, and the biting; And they are gathered into Jason's helm, The alembic, and then sow'd in Mars his field, And thence sublimed so often, till they're fixed. Both this, the Hesperian garden, Cadmus' story, Jove's shower, the boon of Midas, Argus' eyes, Boccace his Demogorgon, thousands more, All abstract riddles of our stone. [ENTER FACE, AS A SERVANT.] --How now! Do we succeed? Is our day come? and holds it?

FACE. The evening will set red upon you, sir; You have colour for it, crimson: the red ferment Has done his office; three hours hence prepare you To see projection.

MAM. Pertinax, my Surly. Again I say to thee, aloud, Be rich. This day, thou shalt have ingots; and to-morrow, Give lords th' affront.--Is it, my Zephyrus, right? Blushes the bolt's-head?

FACE. Like a wench with child, sir, That were but now discover'd to her master.

MAM. Excellent witty Lungs!--my only care Where to get stuff enough now, to project on; This town will not half serve me.

FACE. No, sir! buy The covering off o' churches.

MAM. That's true.

FACE. Yes. Let them stand bare, as do their auditory; Or cap them, new, with shingles.