Part 5

MAM. No, good thatch: Thatch will lie light upon the rafters, Lungs.-- Lungs, I will manumit thee from the furnace; I will restore thee thy complexion, Puffe, Lost in the embers; and repair this brain, Hurt with the fume o' the metals.

FACE. I have blown, sir, Hard for your worship; thrown by many a coal, When 'twas not beech; weigh'd those I put in, just, To keep your heat still even; these blear'd eyes Have wak'd to read your several colours, sir, Of the pale citron, the green lion, the crow, The peacock's tail, the plumed swan.

MAM. And, lastly, Thou hast descry'd the flower, the sanguis agni?

FACE. Yes, sir.

MAM. Where's master?

FACE. At his prayers, sir, he; Good man, he's doing his devotions For the success.

MAM. Lungs, I will set a period To all thy labours; thou shalt be the master Of my seraglio.

FACE. Good, sir.

MAM. But do you hear? I'll geld you, Lungs.

FACE. Yes, sir.

MAM. For I do mean To have a list of wives and concubines, Equal with Solomon, who had the stone Alike with me; and I will make me a back With the elixir, that shall be as tough As Hercules, to encounter fifty a night.-- Thou'rt sure thou saw'st it blood?

FACE. Both blood and spirit, sir.

MAM. I will have all my beds blown up, not stuft; Down is too hard: and then, mine oval room Fill'd with such pictures as Tiberius took From Elephantis, and dull Aretine But coldly imitated. Then, my glasses Cut in more subtle angles, to disperse And multiply the figures, as I walk Naked between my succubae. My mists I'll have of perfume, vapour'd 'bout the room, To lose ourselves in; and my baths, like pits To fall into; from whence we will come forth, And roll us dry in gossamer and roses.-- Is it arrived at ruby?--Where I spy A wealthy citizen, or [a] rich lawyer, Have a sublimed pure wife, unto that fellow I'll send a thousand pound to be my cuckold.

FACE. And I shall carry it?

MAM. No. I'll have no bawds, But fathers and mothers: they will do it best, Best of all others. And my flatterers Shall be the pure and gravest of divines, That I can get for money. My mere fools, Eloquent burgesses, and then my poets The same that writ so subtly of the fart, Whom I will entertain still for that subject. The few that would give out themselves to be Court and town-stallions, and, each-where, bely Ladies who are known most innocent for them; Those will I beg, to make me eunuchs of: And they shall fan me with ten estrich tails A-piece, made in a plume to gather wind. We will be brave, Puffe, now we have the med'cine. My meat shall all come in, in Indian shells, Dishes of agat set in gold, and studded With emeralds, sapphires, hyacinths, and rubies. The tongues of carps, dormice, and camels' heels, Boil'd in the spirit of sol, and dissolv'd pearl, Apicius' diet, 'gainst the epilepsy: And I will eat these broths with spoons of amber, Headed with diamond and carbuncle. My foot-boy shall eat pheasants, calver'd salmons, Knots, godwits, lampreys: I myself will have The beards of barbels served, instead of sallads; Oil'd mushrooms; and the swelling unctuous paps Of a fat pregnant sow, newly cut off, Drest with an exquisite, and poignant sauce; For which, I'll say unto my cook, "There's gold, Go forth, and be a knight."

FACE. Sir, I'll go look A little, how it heightens.

[EXIT.]

MAM. Do.--My shirts I'll have of taffeta-sarsnet, soft and light As cobwebs; and for all my other raiment, It shall be such as might provoke the Persian, Were he to teach the world riot anew. My gloves of fishes' and birds' skins, perfumed With gums of paradise, and eastern air--

SUR. And do you think to have the stone with this?

MAM. No, I do think t' have all this with the stone.

SUR. Why, I have heard he must be homo frugi, A pious, holy, and religious man, One free from mortal sin, a very virgin.

MAM. That makes it, sir; he is so: but I buy it; My venture brings it me. He, honest wretch, A notable, superstitious, good soul, Has worn his knees bare, and his slippers bald, With prayer and fasting for it: and, sir, let him Do it alone, for me, still. Here he comes. Not a profane word afore him: 'tis poison.-- [ENTER SUBTLE.] Good morrow, father.

SUB. Gentle son, good morrow, And to your friend there. What is he, is with you?

MAM. An heretic, that I did bring along, In hope, sir, to convert him.

SUB. Son, I doubt You are covetous, that thus you meet your time In the just point: prevent your day at morning. This argues something, worthy of a fear Of importune and carnal appetite. Take heed you do not cause the blessing leave you, With your ungovern'd haste. I should be sorry To see my labours, now even at perfection, Got by long watching and large patience, Not prosper where my love and zeal hath placed them. Which (heaven I call to witness, with your self, To whom I have pour'd my thoughts) in all my ends, Have look'd no way, but unto public good, To pious uses, and dear charity Now grown a prodigy with men. Wherein If you, my son, should now prevaricate, And, to your own particular lusts employ So great and catholic a bliss, be sure A curse will follow, yea, and overtake Your subtle and most secret ways.

MAM. I know, sir; You shall not need to fear me; I but come, To have you confute this gentleman.

SUR. Who is, Indeed, sir, somewhat costive of belief Toward your stone; would not be gull'd.

SUB. Well, son, All that I can convince him in, is this, The WORK IS DONE, bright sol is in his robe. We have a medicine of the triple soul, The glorified spirit. Thanks be to heaven, And make us worthy of it!--Ulen Spiegel!

FACE [WITHIN]. Anon, sir.

SUB. Look well to the register. And let your heat still lessen by degrees, To the aludels.

FACE [WITHIN]. Yes, sir.

SUB. Did you look On the bolt's-head yet?

FACE [WITHIN]. Which? on D, sir?

SUB. Ay; What's the complexion?

FACE [WITHIN]. Whitish.

SUB. Infuse vinegar, To draw his volatile substance and his tincture: And let the water in glass E be filter'd, And put into the gripe's egg. Lute him well; And leave him closed in balneo.

FACE [WITHIN]. I will, sir.

SUR. What a brave language here is! next to canting.

SUB. I have another work, you never saw, son, That three days since past the philosopher's wheel, In the lent heat of Athanor; and's become Sulphur of Nature.

MAM. But 'tis for me?

SUB. What need you? You have enough in that is perfect.

MAM. O but--

SUB. Why, this is covetise!

MAM. No, I assure you, I shall employ it all in pious uses, Founding of colleges and grammar schools, Marrying young virgins, building hospitals, And now and then a church.

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

SUB. How now!

FACE. Sir, please you, Shall I not change the filter?

SUB. Marry, yes; And bring me the complexion of glass B.

[EXIT FACE.]

MAM. Have you another?

SUB. Yes, son; were I assured-- Your piety were firm, we would not want The means to glorify it: but I hope the best.-- I mean to tinct C in sand-heat to-morrow, And give him imbibition.

MAM. Of white oil?

SUB. No, sir, of red. F is come over the helm too, I thank my Maker, in S. Mary's bath, And shews lac virginis. Blessed be heaven! I sent you of his faeces there calcined: Out of that calx, I have won the salt of mercury.

MAM. By pouring on your rectified water?

SUB. Yes, and reverberating in Athanor. [RE-ENTER FACE.] How now! what colour says it?

FACE. The ground black, sir.

MAM. That's your crow's head?

SUR. Your cock's-comb's, is it not?

SUB. No, 'tis not perfect. Would it were the crow! That work wants something.

SUR [ASIDE]. O, I looked for this. The hay's a pitching.

SUB. Are you sure you loosed them In their own menstrue?

FACE. Yes, sir, and then married them, And put them in a bolt's-head nipp'd to digestion, According as you bade me, when I set The liquor of Mars to circulation In the same heat.

SUB. The process then was right.

FACE. Yes, by the token, sir, the retort brake, And what was saved was put into the pellican, And sign'd with Hermes' seal.

SUB. I think 'twas so. We should have a new amalgama.

SUR [ASIDE]. O, this ferret Is rank as any pole-cat.

SUB. But I care not: Let him e'en die; we have enough beside, In embrion. H has his white shirt on?

FACE. Yes, sir, He's ripe for inceration, he stands warm, In his ash-fire. I would not you should let Any die now, if I might counsel, sir, For luck's sake to the rest: it is not good.

MAM. He says right.

SUR [ASIDE]. Ay, are you bolted?

FACE. Nay, I know't, sir, I have seen the ill fortune. What is some three ounces Of fresh materials?

MAM. Is't no more?

FACE. No more, sir. Of gold, t'amalgame with some six of mercury.

MAM. Away, here's money. What will serve?

FACE. Ask him, sir.

MAM. How much?

SUB. Give him nine pound:--you may give him ten.

SUR. Yes, twenty, and be cozen'd, do.

MAM. There 'tis. [GIVES FACE THE MONEY.]

SUB. This needs not; but that you will have it so, To see conclusions of all: for two Of our inferior works are at fixation, A third is in ascension. Go your ways. Have you set the oil of luna in kemia?

FACE. Yes, sir.

SUB. And the philosopher's vinegar?

FACE. Ay.

[EXIT.]

SUR. We shall have a sallad!

MAM. When do you make projection?

SUB. Son, be not hasty, I exalt our med'cine, By hanging him in balneo vaporoso, And giving him solution; then congeal him; And then dissolve him; then again congeal him; For look, how oft I iterate the work, So many times I add unto his virtue. As, if at first one ounce convert a hundred, After his second loose, he'll turn a thousand; His third solution, ten; his fourth, a hundred: After his fifth, a thousand thousand ounces Of any imperfect metal, into pure Silver or gold, in all examinations, As good as any of the natural mine. Get you your stuff here against afternoon, Your brass, your pewter, and your andirons.

MAM. Not those of iron?

SUB. Yes, you may bring them too: We'll change all metals.

SUR. I believe you in that.

MAM. Then I may send my spits?

SUB. Yes, and your racks.

SUR. And dripping-pans, and pot-hangers, and hooks? Shall he not?

SUB. If he please.

SUR.--To be an ass.

SUB. How, sir!

MAM. This gentleman you must bear withal: I told you he had no faith.

SUR. And little hope, sir; But much less charity, should I gull myself.

SUB. Why, what have you observ'd, sir, in our art, Seems so impossible?

SUR. But your whole work, no more. That you should hatch gold in a furnace, sir, As they do eggs in Egypt!

SUB. Sir, do you Believe that eggs are hatch'd so?

SUR. If I should?

SUB. Why, I think that the greater miracle. No egg but differs from a chicken more Than metals in themselves.

SUR. That cannot be. The egg's ordain'd by nature to that end, And is a chicken in potentia.

SUB. The same we say of lead and other metals, Which would be gold, if they had time.

MAM. And that Our art doth further.

SUB. Ay, for 'twere absurb To think that nature in the earth bred gold Perfect in the instant: something went before. There must be remote matter.

SUR. Ay, what is that?

SUB. Marry, we say--

MAM. Ay, now it heats: stand, father, Pound him to dust.

SUB. It is, of the one part, A humid exhalation, which we call Material liquida, or the unctuous water; On the other part, a certain crass and vicious Portion of earth; both which, concorporate, Do make the elementary matter of gold; Which is not yet propria materia, But common to all metals and all stones; For, where it is forsaken of that moisture, And hath more driness, it becomes a stone: Where it retains more of the humid fatness, It turns to sulphur, or to quicksilver, Who are the parents of all other metals. Nor can this remote matter suddenly Progress so from extreme unto extreme, As to grow gold, and leap o'er all the means. Nature doth first beget the imperfect, then Proceeds she to the perfect. Of that airy And oily water, mercury is engender'd; Sulphur of the fat and earthy part; the one, Which is the last, supplying the place of male, The other of the female, in all metals. Some do believe hermaphrodeity, That both do act and suffer. But these two Make the rest ductile, malleable, extensive. And even in gold they are; for we do find Seeds of them, by our fire, and gold in them; And can produce the species of each metal More perfect thence, than nature doth in earth. Beside, who doth not see in daily practice Art can beget bees, hornets, beetles, wasps, Out of the carcases and dung of creatures; Yea, scorpions of an herb, being rightly placed? And these are living creatures, far more perfect And excellent than metals.

MAM. Well said, father! Nay, if he take you in hand, sir, with an argument, He'll bray you in a mortar.

SUR. Pray you, sir, stay. Rather than I'll be brayed, sir, I'll believe That Alchemy is a pretty kind of game, Somewhat like tricks o' the cards, to cheat a man With charming.

SUB. Sir?

SUR. What else are all your terms, Whereon no one of your writers 'grees with other? Of your elixir, your lac virginis, Your stone, your med'cine, and your chrysosperm, Your sal, your sulphur, and your mercury, Your oil of height, your tree of life, your blood, Your marchesite, your tutie, your magnesia, Your toad, your crow, your dragon, and your panther; Your sun, your moon, your firmament, your adrop, Your lato, azoch, zernich, chibrit, heautarit, And then your red man, and your white woman, With all your broths, your menstrues, and materials, Of piss and egg-shells, women's terms, man's blood, Hair o' the head, burnt clouts, chalk, merds, and clay, Powder of bones, scalings of iron, glass, And worlds of other strange ingredients, Would burst a man to name?

SUB. And all these named, Intending but one thing; which art our writers Used to obscure their art.

MAM. Sir, so I told him-- Because the simple idiot should not learn it, And make it vulgar.

SUB. Was not all the knowledge Of the Aegyptians writ in mystic symbols? Speak not the scriptures oft in parables? Are not the choicest fables of the poets, That were the fountains and first springs of wisdom, Wrapp'd in perplexed allegories?

MAM. I urg'd that, And clear'd to him, that Sisyphus was damn'd To roll the ceaseless stone, only because He would have made Ours common.

DOL [APPEARS AT THE DOOR].-- Who is this?

SUB. 'Sprecious!--What do you mean? go in, good lady, Let me entreat you. [DOL RETIRES.] --Where's this varlet?

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. Sir.

SUB. You very knave! do you use me thus?

FACE. Wherein, sir?

SUB. Go in and see, you traitor. Go!

[EXIT FACE.]

MAM. Who is it, sir?

SUB. Nothing, sir; nothing.

MAM. What's the matter, good sir? I have not seen you thus distemper'd: who is't?

SUB. All arts have still had, sir, their adversaries; But ours the most ignorant.-- [RE-ENTER FACE.] What now?

FACE. 'Twas not my fault, sir; she would speak with you.

SUB. Would she, sir! Follow me.

[EXIT.]

MAM [STOPPING HIM]. Stay, Lungs.

FACE. I dare not, sir.

MAM. Stay, man; what is she?

FACE. A lord's sister, sir.

MAM. How! pray thee, stay.

FACE. She's mad, sir, and sent hither-- He'll be mad too.--

MAM. I warrant thee.-- Why sent hither?

FACE. Sir, to be cured.

SUB [WITHIN]. Why, rascal!

FACE. Lo you!--Here, sir!

[EXIT.]

MAM. 'Fore God, a Bradamante, a brave piece.

SUR. Heart, this is a bawdy-house! I will be burnt else.

MAM. O, by this light, no: do not wrong him. He's Too scrupulous that way: it is his vice. No, he's a rare physician, do him right, An excellent Paracelsian, and has done Strange cures with mineral physic. He deals all With spirits, he; he will not hear a word Of Galen; or his tedious recipes.-- [RE-ENTER FACE.] How now, Lungs!

FACE. Softly, sir; speak softly. I meant To have told your worship all. This must not hear.

MAM. No, he will not be "gull'd;" let him alone.

FACE. You are very right, sir, she is a most rare scholar, And is gone mad with studying Broughton's works. If you but name a word touching the Hebrew, She falls into her fit, and will discourse So learnedly of genealogies, As you would run mad too, to hear her, sir.

MAM. How might one do t' have conference with her, Lungs?

FACE. O divers have run mad upon the conference: I do not know, sir. I am sent in haste, To fetch a vial.

SUR. Be not gull'd, sir Mammon.

MAM. Wherein? pray ye, be patient.

SUR. Yes, as you are, And trust confederate knaves and bawds and whores.

MAM. You are too foul, believe it.--Come here, Ulen, One word.

FACE. I dare not, in good faith. [GOING.]

MAM. Stay, knave.

FACE. He is extreme angry that you saw her, sir.

MAM. Drink that. [GIVES HIM MONEY.] What is she when she's out of her fit?

FACE. O, the most affablest creature, sir! so merry! So pleasant! she'll mount you up, like quicksilver, Over the helm; and circulate like oil, A very vegetal: discourse of state, Of mathematics, bawdry, any thing--

MAM. Is she no way accessible? no means, No trick to give a man a taste of her--wit-- Or so?

SUB [WITHIN]. Ulen!

FACE. I'll come to you again, sir.

[EXIT.]

MAM. Surly, I did not think one of your breeding Would traduce personages of worth.

SUR. Sir Epicure, Your friend to use; yet still loth to be gull'd: I do not like your philosophical bawds. Their stone is letchery enough to pay for, Without this bait.

MAM. 'Heart, you abuse yourself. I know the lady, and her friends, and means, The original of this disaster. Her brother Has told me all.

SUR. And yet you never saw her Till now!

MAM. O yes, but I forgot. I have, believe it, One of the treacherousest memories, I do think, Of all mankind.

SUR. What call you her brother?

MAM. My lord-- He will not have his name known, now I think on't.

SUR. A very treacherous memory!

MAM. On my faith--

SUR. Tut, if you have it not about you, pass it, Till we meet next.

MAM. Nay, by this hand, 'tis true. He's one I honour, and my noble friend; And I respect his house.

SUR. Heart! can it be, That a grave sir, a rich, that has no need, A wise sir, too, at other times, should thus, With his own oaths, and arguments, make hard means To gull himself? An this be your elixir, Your lapis mineralis, and your lunary, Give me your honest trick yet at primero, Or gleek; and take your lutum sapientis, Your menstruum simplex! I'll have gold before you, And with less danger of the quicksilver, Or the hot sulphur.

[RE-ENTER FACE.]

FACE. Here's one from Captain Face, sir, [TO SURLY.] Desires you meet him in the Temple-church, Some half-hour hence, and upon earnest business. Sir, [WHISPERS MAMMON.] if you please to quit us, now; and come Again within two hours, you shall have My master busy examining o' the works; And I will steal you in, unto the party, That you may see her converse.--Sir, shall I say, You'll meet the captain's worship?

SUR. Sir, I will.-- [WALKS ASIDE.] But, by attorney, and to a second purpose. Now, I am sure it is a bawdy-house; I'll swear it, were the marshal here to thank me: The naming this commander doth confirm it. Don Face! why, he's the most authentic dealer In these commodities, the superintendant To all the quainter traffickers in town! He is the visitor, and does appoint, Who lies with whom, and at what hour; what price; Which gown, and in what smock; what fall; what tire. Him will I prove, by a third person, to find The subtleties of this dark labyrinth: Which if I do discover, dear sir Mammon, You'll give your poor friend leave, though no philosopher, To laugh: for you that are, 'tis thought, shall weep.

FACE. Sir, he does pray, you'll not forget.

SUR. I will not, sir. Sir Epicure, I shall leave you.

[EXIT.]

MAM. I follow you, straight.

FACE. But do so, good sir, to avoid suspicion. This gentleman has a parlous head.

MAM. But wilt thou Ulen, Be constant to thy promise?

FACE. As my life, sir.

MAM. And wilt thou insinuate what I am, and praise me, And say, I am a noble fellow?

FACE. O, what else, sir? And that you'll make her royal with the stone, An empress; and yourself, King of Bantam.

MAM. Wilt thou do this?

FACE. Will I, sir!

MAM. Lungs, my Lungs! I love thee.

FACE. Send your stuff, sir, that my master May busy himself about projection.

MAM. Thou hast witch'd me, rogue: take, go. [GIVES HIM MONEY.]

FACE. Your jack, and all, sir.

MAM. Thou art a villain--I will send my jack, And the weights too. Slave, I could bite thine ear. Away, thou dost not care for me.

FACE. Not I, sir!

MAM. Come, I was born to make thee, my good weasel, Set thee on a bench, and have thee twirl a chain With the best lord's vermin of 'em all.

FACE. Away, sir.

MAM. A count, nay, a count palatine--

FACE. Good, sir, go.

MAM. Shall not advance thee better: no, nor faster.

[EXIT.]

[RE-ENTER SUBTLE AND DOL.]

SUB. Has he bit? has he bit?

FACE. And swallowed, too, my Subtle. I have given him line, and now he plays, i'faith.

SUB. And shall we twitch him?

FACE. Thorough both the gills. A wench is a rare bait, with which a man No sooner's taken, but he straight firks mad.

SUB. Dol, my Lord What'ts'hums sister, you must now Bear yourself statelich.

DOL. O let me alone. I'll not forget my race, I warrant you. I'll keep my distance, laugh and talk aloud; Have all the tricks of a proud scurvy lady, And be as rude as her woman.

FACE. Well said, sanguine!

SUB. But will he send his andirons?

FACE. His jack too, And's iron shoeing-horn; I have spoke to him. Well, I must not lose my wary gamester yonder.

SUB. O monsieur Caution, that WILL NOT BE GULL'D?

FACE. Ay, If I can strike a fine hook into him, now! The Temple-church, there I have cast mine angle. Well, pray for me. I'll about it. [KNOCKING WITHOUT.]

SUB. What, more gudgeons! Dol, scout, scout! [DOL GOES TO THE WINDOW.] Stay, Face, you must go to the door, 'Pray God it be my anabaptist--Who is't, Dol?

DOL. I know him not: he looks like a gold-endman.