Part iii
. Chap. v. Voyage to Laputa._
It is a maxim, that those to whom everybody allows the second place have an undoubted title to the first.
_Tale of a Tub. Dedication._
Seamen have a custom, when they meet a whale, to fling him out an empty tub by way of amusement, to divert him from laying violent hands upon the ship.[291-1]
_Tale of a Tub. Preface._
Bread is the staff of life.[291-2]
_Tale of a Tub. Preface._
Books, the children of the brain.
_Tale of a Tub. Sect. i._
As boys do sparrows, with flinging salt upon their tails.[291-3]
_Tale of a Tub. Sect. vii._
He made it a part of his religion never to say grace to his meat.
_Tale of a Tub. Sect. xi._
How we apples swim![291-4]
_Brother Protestants._
The two noblest things, which are sweetness and light.
_Battle of the Books._
The reason why so few marriages are happy is because young ladies spend their time in making nets, not in making cages.
_Thoughts on Various Subjects._
Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent.
_Thoughts on Various Subjects._
A nice man is a man of nasty ideas.
_Thoughts on Various Subjects._
If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.
_Letter to Miss Vanbromrigh, Aug. 12, 1720._
Not die here in a rage, like a poisoned rat in a hole.
_Letter to Bolingbroke, March 21, 1729._
A penny for your thoughts.[292-1]
_Introduction to Polite Conversation._
Do you think I was born in a wood to be afraid of an owl?
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
The sight of you is good for sore eyes.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
'T is as cheap sitting as standing.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
I hate nobody: I am in charity with the world.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
I won't quarrel with my bread and butter.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
She 's no chicken; she 's on the wrong side of thirty, if she be a day.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
She looks as if butter wou'dn't melt in her mouth.[292-2]
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
If it had been a bear it would have bit you.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
I mean you lie--under a mistake.[292-3]
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
_Lord M._ What religion is he of?
_Lord Sp._ Why, he is an Anythingarian.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue i._
He was a bold man that first eat an oyster.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
That is as well said as if I had said it myself.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
You must take the will for the deed.[292-4]
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
Fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
She has more goodness in her little finger than he has in his whole body.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
Lord! I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
They say a carpenter 's known by his chips.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.[293-1]
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
I 'll give you leave to call me anything, if you don't call me "spade."
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
May you live all the days of your life.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
I have fed like a farmer: I shall grow as fat as a porpoise.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
I always like to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the Church to preserve all that travel by land or by water.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
I know Sir John will go, though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
I thought you and he were hand-in-glove.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue ii._
'T is happy for him that his father was before him.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue iii._
There is none so blind as they that won't see.[293-2]
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue iii._
She watches him as a cat would watch a mouse.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue iii._
She pays him in his own coin.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue iii._
There was all the world and his wife.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue iii._
Sharp 's the word with her.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue iii._
There 's two words to that bargain.
_Polite Conversation. Dialogue iii._
I shall be like that tree,--I shall die at the top.
_Scott's Life of Swift._[294-1]
FOOTNOTES:
[289-3] As geographers, Sosius, crowd into the edges of their maps parts of the world which they do not know about, adding notes in the margin to the effect that beyond this lies nothing but sandy deserts full of wild beasts and unapproachable bogs.--PLUTARCH: _Theseus._
[290-1] Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em, And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so _ad infinitum_. And the great fleas themselves, in turn, have greater fleas to go on; While these again have greater still, and greater still, and so on.
DE MORGAN: _A Budget of Paradoxes, p. 377._
[290-2] ROWLAND: _Knave of Hearts_ (1612). RAY: _Proverbs._ TOM BROWN: _Amusement, viii._
[290-3] As the political parties of Whig and Tory are pointed out by the high and low heels of the Lilliputians (Framecksan and Hamecksan), those of Papist and Protestant are designated under the Big-endians and Small-endians.
[291-1] In Sebastian Munster's "Cosmography" there is a cut of a ship to which a whale was coming too close for her safety, and of the sailors throwing a tub to the whale, evidently to play with. This practice is also mentioned in an old prose translation of the "Ship of Fools."--Sir JAMES MACKINTOSH: _Appendix to the Life of Sir Thomas More._
[291-2] See Mathew Henry, page 283.
[291-3] Till they be bobbed on the tails after the manner of sparrows.--RABELAIS: _book ii. chap. xiv._
[291-4] RAY: _Proverbs._ MALLET: _Tyburn._
[292-1] See Heywood, page 16.
[292-2] See Heywood, page 13.
[292-3] You lie--under a mistake.--SHELLEY: _Magico Prodigioso,
## scene 1_ (a translation of Calderon).
[292-4] The will for deed I doe accept.--DU BARTAS: _Divine Weeks and Works, third day, week ii.