Part 47

"If anything will sicken and disgust a man, it is the affected, mincing way in which some people choose to talk. It is perfectly nauseous. If these young jackanapes, who screw their words into all manner of diabolical shapes, could only feel how perfectly disgusting they were, it might induce them to drop it. With many, it soon becomes such a confirmed habit that they cannot again be taught to talk in a plain, straightforward, manly way. In the lower order of ladies' boarding-schools, and indeed, too much everywhere, the same sickening, mincing tone is too often found. Do, pray, good people, do talk in your natural tone, if you don't wish to be utterly ridiculous and contemptible."

1994. Vulgarity.

We have adopted the foregoing Paragraph because we approve of some of its sentiments, but chiefly because it shows that persons who object to affectation may go to the other extreme--vulgarity. It is vulgar, we think, to call even the most affected people "jackanapes, who screw their words into all manner of diabolical shapes." Avoid vulgarity in manner, in speech, and in correspondence. To conduct yourself vulgarly is to offer offence to those who are around you; to bring upon yourself the condemnation of persons of good taste; and to incur the penalty of exclusion from good society. Thus, cast among the vulgar, you become the victim of your own error.

1995. Avoid Swearing.

An oath is but the wrath of a perturbed spirit. It is _mean_. A man of high moral standing would rather treat an offence with contempt than show his indignation by an oath. It is _vulgar_, altogether too low for a decent man. It is _cowardly_, implying a fear either of not being believed or obeyed. It is _ungentlemanly_, A gentleman, according to Webster, is a _genteel_ man--well-bred, refined. It is _indecent_, offensive to delicacy, and extremely unfit for human ears. It is _foolish_. "Want of decency is want of sense." It is _abusive_--to the mind which conceives the oath, to the tongue which utters it, and to the person at whom it is aimed. It is _venomous_, showing a man's heart to be as a nest of vipers; and every time he swears, one of them starts out from his head. It is _contemptible_, forfeiting the respect of all the wise and good. It is _wicked_, violating the Divine law, and provoking the displeasure of Him who will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

1996. Be a Gentleman.

Moderation, decorum, and neatness distinguish the gentleman; he is at all times affable, diffident, and studious to please. Intelligent and polite, his behaviour is pleasant and graceful. When he enters the dwelling of an inferior, he endeavours to hide, if possible, the difference between their ranks of life; ever willing to assist those around him, he is neither unkind, haughty, nor over-bearing. In the mansions of the rich, the correctness of his mind induces him to bend to etiquette, but not to stoop to adulation; correct principle cautions him to avoid the gaming-table, inebriety, or any other foible that could occasion him self-reproach. Gratified with the pleasures of reflection, he rejoices to see the gaieties of society, and is fastidious upon no point of little import. Appear only to be a gentleman, and its shadow will bring upon you contempt; be a gentleman, and its honours will remain even after you are dead.

1997. The Happy Man, or True Gentleman.

How happy is he born or taught, That serveth not another's will, Whose armour is his honest thought, And simple truth his only skill:

Whose passions not his masters are. Whose soul is still prepared for death Not tied unto the world with care Of prince's ear, or vulgar breath:

Who hath his life from rumours freed, Whose conscience is his strong retreat Whose state can neither flatterers feed. Nor ruin make oppressors great,

Who God doth late and early pray More of His grace than gifts to lend; And entertains the harmless day With a well-chosen book or friend;

This man is freed from servile bands, Of hope to rise or fear to fall; Lord of himself, though not of lands, And having nothing, yet hath all.

_Sir Henry Wotton_, 1530.

[RICHES ARE BUT THE BAGGAGE OF FORTUNE.]

1998. Be Honest.

Not only because "honesty is the best policy," but because it is a duty to God and to man. The heart that can be gratified by dishonest gains; the ambition that can be satisfied by dishonest means; the mind that can be devoted to dishonest purposes, must be of the worst order.

1999. General Principles.

Having laid down these General Principles for the government of personal conduct, we will epitomize what we would still enforce:

2000. Idleness.

Avoid Idleness. It is the parent of many evils. Can you pray, "Give us this day our daily bread," and not hear the reply, "Do thou this day thy daily duty"?

2001. Idle Tales.

Avoid telling Idle Tales, which is like firing arrows in the dark: you know not into whose heart they may fall.

2002. Self-Praise.

Avoid talking about yourself, praising your own works, and proclaiming your own deeds. If they are good they will proclaim themselves, if bad, the less you say of them the better.

2003. Envy.

Avoid Envy; for it cannot benefit you, nor can it injure those against whom it is cherished.

2004. Disputation.

Avoid Disputation for the mere sake of argument. The man who disputes obstinately, and in a bigoted spirit, is like the man who would stop the fountain from which he should drink. Earnest discussion is commendable; but factious argument never yet produced a good result.

2005. Kindness.

Be Kind in Little Things.--The true generosity of the heart is more displayed by deeds of minor kindness, than by acts which may partake of ostentation.

2006. Politeness.

Be Polite.--Politeness is the poetry of conduct--and like poetry, it has many qualities. Let not your politeness be too florid, but of that gentle kind which indicates a refined nature.

2007. Sociable.

Be Sociable--avoid reserve in society. Remember that the social elements, like the air we breathe, are purified by motion. Thought illumines thought, and smiles win smiles.

2008. Punctuality.

Be Punctual.--One minute too late has lost many a golden opportunity. Besides which, the want of punctuality is an affront offered to the person to whom your presence is due.

2009. Hints.

The foregoing Remarks may be said to apply to the moral conduct, rather than, to the details of personal manners. Great principles, however, suggest minor ones; and hence, from the principles laid down, many hints upon personal behaviour may be gathered.

2010. Hearty.

Be Hearty in your salutations, discreet and sincere in your friendships.

2011. Listen.

Prefer to Listen rather than to talk.

2012. Respect.

Behave, even in the presence of your relations, as though you felt respect to be due to them.

2013. Humble.

In Society never forget that you are but one of many.

2014. House Rules.

When you Visit a Friend, conform to the rules of his household; lean not upon his tables, nor rub your feet against his chairs.

2015. Privacy.

Pry not into Letters that are not your own.

2016. Ladies.

Pay unmistakable Respect to ladies everywhere.

2017. Silliness.

Beware of Foppery, and of silly flirtation.

2018. Considerate.

In Public Places be not too pertinacious of your own rights, but find pleasure in making concessions.

2019. Conversation.

Speak Distinctly, look at the person to whom you speak, and when you have spoken, give him an opportunity to reply.

2020. Temperance.

Avoid Drunkenness as you would a curse; and modify all appetites, especially those that are acquired.

2021. Correct Dress.

Dress Well, but not superfluously; be neither like a sloven, nor like a stuffed model.

2022. Cleanliness.

Keep away all Uncleanly Appearances from the person. Let the nails, the teeth, and, in fact, the whole system receive _salutary_ rather than _studied_ care. But let these things receive attention at the toilet--not elsewhere.

2023. Jewellery.

Avoid displaying Excess of Jewellery. Nothing looks more effeminate upon a man.

2024. Central Ideas.

Every one of these Suggestions may be regarded as the centre of many others, which the earnest mind cannot fail to discover. (See HINTS ON ETIQUETTE, _par_. 1924.)

2025. Children.

Happy indeed is the child who, during the first period of its existence, is fed upon no other aliment than the milk of its mother, or that of a healthy nurse. If other food become necessary before the child has acquired teeth, it ought to be of a liquid form; for instance, biscuits or stale bread boiled in an equal mixture of milk and water, to the consistence of a thick soup; but by no means even this in the first week of its life. Children who are brought up by hand, that is to say, who are not nursed by mother or wet nurse, require an occasioned change of diet, and thin gruel affords a wholesome alternation to milk. When cows' milk is used it should be obtained, if possible, from one and the same cow, and diluted with boiled water. Swiss milk is recommended by some medical men. The Aylesbury Dairy Company furnish a speciality for young children under the name of "Artificial Human Milk," which is recommended.

2026. Thickening.

Flour or Meal ought never to be used for soup, as it produces viscid humours, instead of a wholesome nutritious chyle.

2027 Introducing Solid Food.

After the first Six Months, weak veal or chicken broth may be given, and also, progressively, vegetables that are not very flatulent, for instance, carrots, endive, spinach, parsnips, with broth, and a little stewed fruit, such as apples, pears, plums, and cherries.

2028. After Weaning.

When the Infant Is Weaned, and has acquired its proper teeth, it is advisable to let it have small portions of meat, and other vegetables, as well as dishes prepared of flour, &c., so that it may gradually become accustomed to every kind of strong and wholesome food.

2029. Simple Food.

We ought, however, to be cautious, and not upon any account to allow a child pastry, confectionery, cheese, heavy dishes made of boiled or baked flour, onions, horseradish, mustard, smoked and salted meat, especially pork, and all compound dishes; for the most simple food is the most wholesome.

2030. Potatoes.

Potatoes should be allowed only in moderation, and not to be eaten with butter, but rather with other vegetables, either mashed up or in broth.

2031. Time-Table.

The Time of Taking Food is not a matter of indifference; very young infants make an exception; for, as their consumption of vital power is more rapid, they may be more frequently indulged with aliment.

2032. Regularity.

It is, however, advisable to accustom even them to a certain regularity, so as to allow them their victuals at stated periods of the day; for it has been observed that those children which are fed indiscriminately through the whole day, are subject to debility and disease. The stomach should be allowed to recover its tone, and to collect the juices necessary for digestion, before it is supplied with a new portion of food.

2033. Daily Diet.

The following Order of giving Food to children has been found proper, and conducive to their health:--After rising in the morning, suppose about six o'clock, a moderate portion of lukewarm milk, with well baked bread, which should by no means be new; at nine o'clock, bread with some fruit, or, if fruit be scarce, a small quantity of fresh butter; about twelve o'clock, the dinner, of a sufficient quantity; between four and five o'clock, some bread with fruit, or, in winter, some preserve as a substitute for fruit.

2034. Tea.

On this Occasion, Children should be allowed to eat till they are satisfied, without surfeiting themselves, that they may not crave for a heavy supper, which disturbs their rest, and is productive of bad humours: lastly, about seven o'clock they may be permitted a light supper, consisting either of milk, soup, fruit, or boiled vegetables and the like, but neither meat nor mealy dishes, nor any article of food which produces flatulency; in short, they ought then to eat but little, and remain awake at least for an hour after it.

2035. Bread.

It has often been contended that Bread is hurtful to children; but this applies only to new bread, or such as is not sufficiently baked; for instance, nothing can be more hurtful or oppressive than rolls, muffins, and crumpets. Good wheaten bread, especially that baked by the aerated process, is extremely proper during the first years of infancy; but that made of whole wheat meal, or wheat flour from which the bran has not been eliminated is, perhaps, more conducive to health after the age of childhood.

2036. Drink.

With respect to Drink, physicians are decidedly against giving it to children in large quantities, and at irregular periods, whether it consists of the mother's milk, or any other equally mild liquid.

2037. Improper.

It is improper and pernicious to keep infants continually at the breast; and it would be less hurtful, nay, even judicious, to let them cry for a few nights, rather than to fill them incessantly with milk, which readily turns sour on the stomach, weakens the digestive organs, and ultimately generates scrofulous affections.

2038. Liquids.

In the latter part of the First Year, pure water, milk-and-water, or toast-and-water may occasionally be given. On no account should a young child be permitted to taste beer or wine, unless specially ordered by a medical man. Those parents who accustom their children to drink water only, bestow on them a fortune, the value and importance of which will be sensibly felt through life.

2039. Drinking with Meals.

Many Children acquire a Habit of Drinking during their meals; it would be more conducive to digestion if they were accustomed to drink only after having made a meal. This salutary rule is too often neglected, though it is certain that innundations of the stomach, during the mastication and maceration of the food, not only vitiate digestion, but they may be attended with other bad consequences; as cold drink, when brought in contact with the teeth previously heated, may easily occasion cracks or chinks in these useful bones, and pave the way for their carious dissolution.

2040. Crying.

If we Inquire into the Cause which produces the crying of infants, we shall find that it seldom originates from pain, or uncomfortable sensations, for those who are apt to imagine that such causes must _always_ operate on the body of an infant, are egregiously mistaken; inasmuch as they conceive that the physical condition, together with the method of expressing sensations, is the same in infants and adults.

2041. Difference.

It requires, however, no demonstration to prove that the state of the former is essentially different from that of the latter.

2042. Power.

In the First Year of Infancy, many expressions of the tender organs are to be considered only as efforts of manifestations of power.

2043. Exertions.

We observe, for instance, that a child, as soon as it is undressed, or disencumbered from swaddling clothes, moves its arms and legs, and often makes a variety of strong exertions; yet no reasonable person would suppose that such attempts arise from a preternatural or oppressive state of the little agent.

2044. Exercise.

It is therefore equally absurd to draw an unfavourable inference from every inarticulate cry; because, in most instances, these vociferating sounds imply the effort which children necessarily make to display the strength of their lungs, and exercise the organs of respiration.

[HASTE MAKES WASTE.]

2045. Functions.

Nature has wisely ordained that by these very efforts the power and utility of functions so essential to life should be developed, and rendered more perfect with every inspiration.

2046. Development of the Breast.

Hence it follows, that those over-anxious parents or nurses, who continually endeavour to prevent infants crying do them a material injury; for, by such imprudent management, their children seldom or never acquire a perfect form of the breast, while the foundation is laid in the pectoral vessels for obstructions and other diseases.

2047. Independent.

Independently of any particular causes, the cries of children, with regard to their general effects, are highly beneficial and necessary.

2048. Sole Exercises.

In the First Period of Life, such exertions are almost the only exercises of the infant; thus the circulation of the blood, and all the other fluids, is rendered more uniform; digestion, nutrition, and the growth of the body are thereby promoted; and the different secretions, together with the very important office of the skin, or insensible perspiration, are duly performed.

2049. Extremely Improper.

It is Extremely Improper to consider every noise of an infant as a claim upon our assistance, and to intrude either food or drink, with a view to satisfy its supposed wants. By such injudicious conduct, children readily acquire the injurious habit of demanding nutriment at improper times, and without necessity; their digestion becomes impaired; and consequently, at this early age, the whole mass of the fluids is gradually corrupted.

2050. Cold.

Sometimes, however, the Mother or Nurse removes the child from its couch, carries it about frequently in the middle of the night, and thus exposes it to repeated colds, which are in their effects infinitely more dangerous than the most violent cries.

2051. Indulgence.

We learn frum Daily Experience, that children who have been the least indulged, thrive much better, unfold all their faculties quicker, and acquire more muscular strength and vigour of mind, than those who have been constantly favoured, and treated by their parents with the most solicitous attention: bodily weakness and mental imbecility are the usual attributes of the latter.

2052. Free and Independent Agent.

The First and Principal Rule of education ought never to be forgotten--that man is intended to be a free and independent agent; that his moral and physical powers ought to be _spontaneously_ developed; that he should as soon as possible be made acquainted with the nature and uses of all his faculties, in order to attain that degree of perfection which is consistent with the structure of his organs; and that he was not originally designed for what we endeavour to make of him by artificial aid.

2053. Guide and Watch.

The Greatest Art in educating children consists in a continued vigilance over all their actions, without ever giving them an opportunity of discovering that they are guided and watched.

2054. Instances.

There are, however, Instances in which the loud complaints of infants demand our attention.

2055. Causes.

Thus, if their Cries be unusually violent and long continued, we may conclude that they are troubled with colic pains; if, on such occasions, they move their arms and hands repeatedly towards the face, painful teething may account for the cause; and if other morbid phenomena accompany their cries, or if these expressions be repeated at certain periods of the day, we ought not to slight them, but endeavour to discover the proximate or remote causes.

2056. Sleep.

Infants cannot Sleep too Long; and it is a favourable symptom when they enjoy a calm and long-continued rest, of which they, should by no means be deprived, as this is the greatest support granted to them by by nature.

2057. Faster Life.

A Child lives comparatively much faster than an adult; its blood flows more rapidly; every stimulus operates more powerfully; and not only its constituent parts, but its vital resources also, are more speedily consumed.

[DO A LITTLE WELL, AND YOU DO MUCH.]

2058. Aid of Sleep.

Sleep promotes a more Calm and Uniform Circulation of the blood; it facilitates the assimilation of the nutriment received, and contributes towards a more copious and regular deposition of alimentary matter, while the horizontal posture is the most favourable to the growth and development of the child.

2059. Proportion.

Sleep ought to be in Proportion to the age of the infant. After the age of six months, the periods of sleep, as well as all other animal functions, may in some degree be regulated; yet, even then, a child should be suffered to sleep the whole night, and several hours both in the morning and in the afternoon.

2060. Night Preferable.

Mothers and Nurses should endeavour to accustom infants, from the time of their birth, to sleep in the night preferably to the day, and for this purpose they ought to remove all external impressions which may disturb their rest, such as noise, light, &c., but especially not to obey every call for taking them up, and giving food at improper times.

2061. Day Sleep.

After the Second Year of their age, children will not instinctively require to sleep in the forenoon, though after dinner it may be continued to the third and fourth year of life, if the child shows a

## particular inclination to repose; because, till that age, the full

half of life may safely be allotted to sleep.

2062. Proportion of Sleep.

From that period, however, sleep ought to be shortened for the space of one hour with every succeeding year, so that a child of seven years old may sleep about eight, and not exceeding nine hours: this proportion may be continued to the age of adolescence, and even manhood.

2063. Gradual Awakening.

To awaken Children from their sleep with a noise, or in an impetuous manner, is extremely injudicious and hurtful; nor is it proper to carry them from a dark room immediately into a glaring light, or against a dazzling wall; for the sudden impression of light debilitates the organs of vision, and lays the foundation of weak eyes, from early infancy.

2064. Room for Sleeping.

A Bedroom or Night Nursery ought to be spacious and lofty, dry, airy, and not inhabited through the day.

2065. No Contamination.

No Servants, if possible, should be suffered to sleep in the same room, and no linen or washed clothes should ever be hung there to dry, as they contaminate the air in which so considerable a portion of infantile life must be spent.

2066. Consequences.

The Consequences attending a vitiated atmosphere in such rooms are serious, and often fatal.

2067. Feather Beds.

Feather Beds should be banished from nurseries, as they are unnatural and debilitating contrivances.

2068. Windows.

The Windows should never be opened at night, but may be left open the whole day in fine clear weather.

2069. Position of Bedstead.

Lastly, the Bedstead must not be placed too low on the floor; nor is it proper to let children sleep on a couch which is made without any elevation from the ground; because the most mephitic and pernicious stratum of air in an apartment is that within one or two feet from the floor, while the most wholesome, or atmospheric air, is in the middle of the room, and the inflammable gas ascends to the top.

2070. Cookery for Children.

2071. Food for an Infant.

Take of fresh cow's milk, one tablespoonful, and mix with two tablespoonfuls of hot water; sweeten with loaf sugar, as much as may be agreeable. This quantity is sufficient for once feeding a new-born infant; and the same quantity may be given every two or three hours,--not oftener,--till the mother's breast affords natural nourishment.

2072. Milk for Infants Six Months Old.

Take one pint of milk, one pint of water; boil it, and add one tablespoonful of flour. Dissolve the flour first in half a teacupful of water; it must he strained in gradually, and boiled hard twenty minutes. As the child grows older, one-third water. If properly made, it is the most nutritious, at the same time the most delicate food that can be given to young children.

2073. Broth.

Broth, made of mutton, veal, or chicken, with stale bread toasted, and broken in, is safe and wholesome for the dinners of children when first weaned.

2074. Milk.